| 1 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 2 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 3 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 4 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 5 | ♪ WHEN IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY, YOUR WEEK ♪ |
| 6 | ♪ YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 7 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 8 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO POUR ♪ |
| 9 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 10 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 11 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 12 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME, TOO ♪ |
| 13 | THERE'S NOTHING TO TELL. |
| 14 | IT'S JUST SOME GUY I WORK WITH. |
| 15 | COME ON. YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH THE GUY. |
| 16 | THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM. |
| 17 | SO, DOES HE HAVE A HUMP? |
| 18 | A HUMP AND A HAIRPIECE? |
| 19 | WAIT, DOES HE EAT CHALK? |
| 20 | JUST 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT HER TO GO THROUGH |
| 21 | WHAT I WENT THROUGH WITH CARL. |
| 22 | OKAY, EVERYBODY RELAX. THIS IS NOT A DATE. |
| 23 | IT'S TWO PEOPLE GOING OUT TO DINNER |
| 24 | AND NOT HAVING SEX. |
| 25 | SOUNDS LIKE A DATE TO ME. |
| 26 | SO I'M BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL. |
| 27 | I'M STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CAFETERIA |
| 28 | AND I REALIZE I AM TOTALLY... NAKED. |
| 29 | I'VE HAD THAT DREAM. |
| 30 | THEN, I LOOK DOWN |
| 31 | AND I REALIZE THERE IS A PHONE... |
| 32 | THERE. |
| 33 | INSTEAD OF..? |
| 34 | THAT'S RIGHT. |
| 35 | NEVER HAD THAT DREAM. |
| 36 | ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE PHONE |
| 37 | STARTS TO RING |
| 38 | AND IT TURNS OUT IT'S MY MOTHER |
| 39 | WHICH IS VERY, VERY WEIRD BECAUSE... |
| 40 | SHE NEVER CALLS ME. |
| 41 | HI. |
| 42 | THIS GUY SAYS "HELLO. |
| 43 | I WANT TO KILL MYSELF." |
| 44 | ARE YOU OKAY, SWEETIE? |
| 45 | I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE REACHED DOWN MY THROAT |
| 46 | GRABBED MY SMALL INTESTINE, PULLED IT OUT MY MOUTH |
| 47 | AND TIED IT AROUND MY NECK. |
| 48 | COOKIE? |
| 49 | CAROL MOVED HER STUFF OUT TODAY. |
| 50 | All: OH... |
| 51 | LET ME GET YOU SOME COFFEE. |
| 52 | THANKS. |
| 53 | OOH. UGH... |
| 54 | NO. OH, NO. NO, DON'T. |
| 55 | STOP CLEANSING MY AURA. |
| 56 | NO, JUST |
| 57 | LEAVE MY AURA ALONE, OKAY? |
| 58 | I'LL BE FINE, ALL RIGHT? REALLY, EVERYONE. |
| 59 | I HOPE SHE'LL BE VERY HAPPY. |
| 60 | Monica: NO, YOU DON'T. |
| 61 | NO I DON'T. TO HELL WITH HER. |
| 62 | SHE LEFT ME. |
| 63 | AND YOU NEVER KNEW SHE WAS A LESBIAN? |
| 64 | NO. OKAY? |
| 65 | WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP FIXATING ON THAT? |
| 66 | SHE DIDN'T KNOW. HOW SHOULD I KNOW? |
| 67 | SOMETIMES I WISH I WAS A LESBIAN. |
| 68 | DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD? |
| 69 | ALL RIGHT, ROSS, LOOK |
| 70 | YOU'RE FEELING A LOT OF PAIN RIGHT NOW. |
| 71 | YOU'RE ANGRY. YOU'RE HURTING. |
| 72 | CAN I TELL YOU WHAT THE ANSWER IS? |
| 73 | STRIP JOINTS! |
| 74 | OH, COME ON. YOU'RE SINGLE. |
| 75 | SEE, BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE SINGLE, OKAY? |
| 76 | I JUST, I JUST, I JUST WANT TO BE MARRIED AGAIN. |
| 77 | AND I JUST WANT A MILLION DOLLARS. |
| 78 | RACHEL? |
| 79 | OH, GOD, MONICA, HI. THANK GOD. |
| 80 | I JUST WENT TO YOUR BUILDING AND YOU WEREN'T THERE |
| 81 | AND THEN THIS GUY WITH A BIG HAMMER |
| 82 | SAID THAT YOU MIGHT BE HERE, AND YOU ARE. |
| 83 | CAN I GET YOU SOME COFFEE? |
| 84 | DECAF. |
| 85 | OKAY, EVERYBODY, THIS IS RACHEL |
| 86 | ANOTHER LINCOLN HIGH SURVIVOR. |
| 87 | THIS IS EVERYBODY. THIS IS CHANDLER |
| 88 | AND PHOEBE, AND JOEY |
| 89 | AND YOU REMEMBER MY BROTHER ROSS? |
| 90 | SURE. |
| 91 | HI. OH! |
| 92 | SO, YOU WANT TO TELL US NOW |
| 93 | OR ARE WE WAITING FOR FOUR WET BRIDESMAIDS? |
| 94 | OH, GOD. WELL, IT STARTED |
| 95 | ABOUT A HALF HOUR BEFORE THE WEDDING. |
| 96 | I WAS IN THIS ROOM |
| 97 | WHERE WE WERE KEEPING ALL THE PRESENTS |
| 98 | AND I WAS LOOKING AT THIS GRAVY BOAT-- |
| 99 | THIS REALLY GORGEOUS LIMOGES GRAVY BOAT-- |
| 100 | WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN... |
| 101 | SWEET AND LOW? |
| 102 | I REALIZED THAT I WAS MORE TURNED ON |
| 103 | BY THIS GRAVY BOAT THAN BY BARRY |
| 104 | AND THEN I GOT REALLY FREAKED OUT |
| 105 | AND THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME |
| 106 | HOW MUCH BARRY LOOKS LIKE MR. POTATO HEAD. |
| 107 | I MEAN, I ALWAYS KNEW HE LOOKED FAMILIAR, BUT... |
| 108 | ANYWAY, I JUST HAD TO GET OUT OF THERE |
| 109 | AND I STARTED WONDERING, "WHY AM I DOING THIS |
| 110 | AND WHO AM I DOING THIS FOR?" |
| 111 | SO, ANYWAY, I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO GO |
| 112 | AND I KNOW THAT YOU AND I HAVE DRIFTED APART |
| 113 | BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON I KNEW |
| 114 | WHO LIVED IN THE CITY. |
| 115 | WHO WASN'T INVITED TO THE WEDDING. |
| 116 | OH, I WAS KIND OF HOPING THAT WOULDN'T BE AN ISSUE. |
| 117 | ...Elijarme la mano, aquellos criminales. |
| 118 | Monica: NOW, I'M GUESSING THAT HE BOUGHT HER |
| 119 | THE BIG PIPE ORGAN |
| 120 | AND SHE'S REALLY NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. |
| 121 | DADDY, I JUST... |
| 122 | I CAN'T MARRY HIM. |
| 123 | I'M SORRY. |
| 124 | I JUST DON'T LOVE HIM. |
| 125 | WELL, IT MATTERS TO ME. |
| 126 | Chandler: SHE SHOULD NOT BE WEARING THOSE PANTS. |
| 127 | I SAY PUSH HER DOWN THE STAIRS. |
| 128 | All: PUSH HER DOWN THE STAIRS! |
| 129 | PUSH HER DOWN |
| 130 | THE STAIRS! |
| 131 | ALL RIGHT! |
| 132 | COME ON, DADDY, LISTEN TO ME. |
| 133 | ALL OF MY LIFE |
| 134 | EVERYONE HAS ALWAYS TOLD ME, "YOU'RE A SHOE. |
| 135 | "YOU'RE A SHOE. |
| 136 | YOU'RE A SHOE. YOU'RE A SHOE." |
| 137 | AND THEN TODAY I JUST STOPPED AND SAID |
| 138 | "WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO BE A SHOE? |
| 139 | "WHAT IF I WANT TO BE A PURSE? |
| 140 | OR A HAT?" |
| 141 | NO, I DON'T WANT YOU TO BUY ME A HAT. |
| 142 | I'M SAYING THAT I AM A HAT... |
| 143 | IT'S A METAPHOR, DADDY! |
| 144 | YOU CAN SEE WHERE HE'D HAVE TROUBLE. |
| 145 | LOOK, DADDY, IT'S MY LIFE. |
| 146 | WELL, MAYBE I'LL JUST STAY HERE WITH MONICA. |
| 147 | WELL, I GUESS WE'VE ESTABLISHED SHE'S STAYING HERE WITH MONICA. |
| 148 | WELL, MAYBE THAT'S MY DECISION. |
| 149 | WELL, MAYBE I DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY. |
| 150 | WAIT, WAIT! I SAID MAYBE! |
| 151 | OKAY, JUST BREATHE. THAT'S IT. |
| 152 | JUST TRY TO THINK OF NICE, CALM THINGS. |
| 153 | ♪ RAINDROPS ON ROSES ♪ |
| 154 | ♪ AND WHISKERS ON KITTENS ♪ |
| 155 | ♪ DOORBELLS AND SLEIGH BELLS ♪ |
| 156 | ♪ AND SOMETHING WITH MITTENS ♪ |
| 157 | ♪ LA LA LA SOMETHING ♪ |
| 158 | ♪ WITH STRING, THESE ARE A FEW... ♪ |
| 159 | I'M ALL BETTER NOW. |
| 160 | I HELPED. |
| 161 | OKAY, LOOK, THIS IS PROBABLY FOR THE BEST. |
| 162 | INDEPENDENCE... |
| 163 | TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. |
| 164 | AND HEY, YOU NEED ANYTHING |
| 165 | YOU CAN ALWAYS COME TO JOEY. |
| 166 | ME AND CHANDLER |
| 167 | LIVE RIGHT ACROSS THE HALL |
| 168 | AND HE'S AWAY A LOT. |
| 169 | STOP HITTING ON HER. |
| 170 | IT'S HER WEDDING DAY. |
| 171 | LIKE THERE'S A RULE OR SOMETHING? |
| 172 | ( intercom buzzes ) |
| 173 | PLEASE DON'T DO THAT AGAIN. |
| 174 | IT'S A HORRIBLE SOUND. |
| 175 | Uh, it's-- it's Paul. |
| 176 | BUZZ HIM IN. |
| 177 | WHO'S PAUL? |
| 178 | "PAUL THE WINE GUY" PAUL? |
| 179 | MAYBE. |
| 180 | YOUR "NOT A REAL DATE" TONIGHT |
| 181 | IS WITH "PAUL THE WINE GUY"? |
| 182 | HE FINALLY ASKED YOU OUT? |
| 183 | YES. |
| 184 | A "DEAR DIARY" MOMENT. |
| 185 | RACH, WAIT. I CAN CANCEL. |
| 186 | PLEASE, NO, GO. I'LL BE FINE. |
| 187 | ROSS, ARE YOU OKAY? |
| 188 | I MEAN, DO YOU WANT ME TO STAY? |
| 189 | THAT WOULD BE GOOD. |
| 190 | REALLY? |
| 191 | NO! GO ON! |
| 192 | IT'S "PAUL THE WINE GUY!" |
| 193 | HI. COME IN. |
| 194 | PAUL, THIS IS... |
| 195 | EVERYBODY. |
| 196 | EVERYBODY, THIS IS PAUL. |
| 197 | All: "PAUL THE WINE GUY!" |
| 198 | I DIDN'T CATCH YOUR NAME. |
| 199 | PAUL, WAS IT? |
| 200 | SIT DOWN. |
| 201 | TWO SECONDS. |
| 202 | I JUST PULLED OUT FOUR EYELASHES. |
| 203 | THAT CAN'T BE GOOD. |
| 204 | SO, RACHEL, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO TONIGHT? |
| 205 | I WAS KIND OF SUPPOSED TO BE HEADED FOR ARUBA |
| 206 | ON MY HONEYMOON. |
| 207 | SO, NOTHING. |
| 208 | RIGHT. YOU'RE NOT EVEN GETTING YOUR HONEYMOON. |
| 209 | GOD... |
| 210 | NO... ARUBA. |
| 211 | THIS TIME OF YEAR, TALK ABOUT YOUR... |
| 212 | BIG LIZARDS. |
| 213 | ANYWAY, IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE BEING ALONE TONIGHT |
| 214 | JOEY AND CHANDLER ARE HELPING ME PUT TOGETHER |
| 215 | MY NEW FURNITURE. |
| 216 | AND WE'RE VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT. |
| 217 | THANKS, BUT I'M GOING TO HANG OUT HERE TONIGHT. |
| 218 | IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY. |
| 219 | OH, SURE. OKAY, SURE. |
| 220 | PHEEBS, YOU WANT TO HELP? |
| 221 | I WISH I COULD, BUT I DON'T WANT TO. |
| 222 | I'M SUPPOSED TO ATTACH |
| 223 | A BRACKETY THING TO THE SIDE THINGS |
| 224 | USING A BUNCH OF THESE LITTLE WORM GUYS. |
| 225 | I HAVE NO BRACKETY THING. |
| 226 | I SEE NO WORM GUYS WHATSOEVER. |
| 227 | AND I CANNOT FEEL MY LEGS. |
| 228 | WHAT'S THIS? |
| 229 | I HAVE NO IDEA. |
| 230 | DONE WITH THE BOOKCASE! |
| 231 | ALL FINISHED! |
| 232 | THIS WAS CAROL'S FAVORITE BEER. |
| 233 | SHE ALWAYS DRANK IT OUT OF THE CAN. |
| 234 | I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. |
| 235 | ROSS, LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. |
| 236 | SHE GOT THE FURNITURE, THE STEREO, THE GOOD TV. |
| 237 | WHAT DID YOU GET? |
| 238 | YOU GUYS. |
| 239 | YOU GOT SCREWED. OH, MY GOD. |
| 240 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 241 | I KNOW. I'M SUCH AN IDIOT. |
| 242 | I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE CAUGHT ON |
| 243 | WHEN SHE STARTED GOING TO THE DENTIST |
| 244 | FOUR AND FIVE TIMES A WEEK. |
| 245 | I MEAN, HOW CLEAN CAN TEETH GET? |
| 246 | MY BROTHER'S GOING THROUGH THAT NOW. |
| 247 | HE'S SUCH A MESS. |
| 248 | HOW DID YOU GET THROUGH IT? |
| 249 | HE MIGHT TRY ACCIDENTALLY BREAKING |
| 250 | SOMETHING VALUABLE OF HERS-- SAY, HER... |
| 251 | LEG? |
| 252 | THAT'S ONE WAY OF GOING THROUGH IT. |
| 253 | ME, I WENT FOR THE WATCH. |
| 254 | YOU ACTUALLY BROKE HER WATCH? |
| 255 | BARRY, I'M SORRY. I'M SO SORRY. |
| 256 | I KNOW YOU PROBABLY THINK |
| 257 | THIS IS ALL ABOUT WHAT I SAID THE OTHER NIGHT |
| 258 | ABOUT YOU MAKING LOVE WITH YOUR SOCKS ON |
| 259 | BUT IT ISN'T. |
| 260 | IT ISN'T-- IT'S ABOUT ME. |
| 261 | AND I DID... |
| 262 | HI. MACHINE CUT ME OFF AGAIN. |
| 263 | ANYWAY... |
| 264 | YOU KNOW WHAT THE SCARIEST PART IS? |
| 265 | WHAT IF THERE'S ONLY ONE WOMAN FOR EVERYBODY? |
| 266 | WHAT IF YOU GET ONE WOMAN AND THAT'S IT? |
| 267 | UNFORTUNATELY, IN MY CASE |
| 268 | THERE WAS ONLY ONE WOMAN FOR HER. |
| 269 | WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? |
| 270 | ONE WOMAN. |
| 271 | THAT'S LIKE SAYING |
| 272 | THERE'S ONLY ONE FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM FOR YOU. |
| 273 | LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, ROSS. |
| 274 | THERE'S LOT OF FLAVORS OUT THERE. |
| 275 | THERE'S ROCKY ROAD AND COOKIE DOUGH |
| 276 | AND BING CHERRY VANILLA. |
| 277 | YOU CAN GET THEM WITH JIMMIES OR NUTS |
| 278 | OR WHIPPED CREAM. |
| 279 | THIS IS THE BEST THING |
| 280 | THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU. |
| 281 | YOU GOT MARRIED. |
| 282 | YOU WERE LIKE, WHAT, EIGHT? |
| 283 | WELCOME BACK TO THE WORLD. |
| 284 | GRAB A SPOON. |
| 285 | I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW IF I'M HUNGRY OR HORNY. |
| 286 | THEN STAY OUT OF MY FREEZER. |
| 287 | EVER SINCE SHE WALKED OUT ON ME, I... |
| 288 | WHAT? |
| 289 | WHAT, YOU WANT TO SPELL IT OUT WITH NOODLES? |
| 290 | NO, IT'S MORE OF A FIFTH DATE KIND OF REVELATION. |
| 291 | OH, SO, THERE'S GOING TO BE A FIFTH DATE? |
| 292 | ISN'T THERE? |
| 293 | YEAH, YEAH, I THINK THERE IS. |
| 294 | WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO SAY? |
| 295 | WELL, WELL... |
| 296 | EVER SINCE SHE LEFT ME, UM... |
| 297 | I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO PERFORM... |
| 298 | SEXUALLY. |
| 299 | OH, GOD. I'M SO SORRY. |
| 300 | IT'S OKAY. |
| 301 | BEING SPIT ON |
| 302 | IS PROBABLY NOT WHAT YOU NEED RIGHT NOW. |
| 303 | UM... OOH. |
| 304 | HOW LONG? |
| 305 | TWO YEARS. |
| 306 | WOW. |
| 307 | I-I-I'M GLAD YOU SMASHED HER WATCH. |
| 308 | SO, YOU STILL THINK YOU, UM... |
| 309 | MIGHT WANT THAT FIFTH DATE? |
| 310 | YEAH. |
| 311 | YEAH, I DO. |
| 312 | I, Joanie, take you, Charles |
| 313 | as my lawful husband. |
| 314 | Do you take Joanie... |
| 315 | SEE, BUT JOANIE LOVED CHACHI. |
| 316 | THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE. |
| 317 | GRAB A SPOON. |
| 318 | DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN |
| 319 | SINCE I GRABBED A SPOON? |
| 320 | DO THE WORDS "BILLY, DON'T BE A HERO" |
| 321 | MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? |
| 322 | YOU KNOW, HERE'S THE THING. |
| 323 | EVEN IF I COULD GET IT TOGETHER ENOUGH |
| 324 | TO ASK A WOMAN OUT |
| 325 | WHO AM I GOING TO ASK? |
| 326 | ISN'T THIS AMAZING? |
| 327 | I HAVE NEVER MADE COFFEE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. |
| 328 | THAT IS AMAZING. |
| 329 | CONGRATULATIONS. |
| 330 | WHILE YOU'RE ON A ROLL, |
| 331 | IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU GOT TO MAKE A WESTERN OMELET |
| 332 | OR SOMETHING... |
| 333 | ACTUALLY, I'M REALLY NOT THAT HUNGRY THIS MORNING. |
| 334 | MORNING. |
| 335 | MORNING. MORNING. |
| 336 | MORNING. |
| 337 | MORNING, PAUL. |
| 338 | HELLO, PAUL. |
| 339 | HI. PAUL, IS IT? |
| 340 | I HAD A GREAT TIME LAST NIGHT. |
| 341 | Paul: THANK YOU. |
| 342 | THANK YOU SO MUCH. |
| 343 | WE'LL TALK LATER. |
| 344 | YEAH. |
| 345 | THANK YOU. |
| 346 | THAT WASN'T A REAL DATE. |
| 347 | WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO ON A REAL DATE? |
| 348 | SHUT UP AND PUT MY TABLE BACK. |
| 349 | Joey: OKAY. |
| 350 | ALL RIGHT, KIDS, I GOT TO GET TO WORK. |
| 351 | IF I DON'T INPUT THOSE NUMBERS... |
| 352 | IT DOESN'T MAKE MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE. |
| 353 | SO, LIKE, YOU GUYS ALL HAVE JOBS? |
| 354 | YEAH, WE ALL HAVE JOBS. |
| 355 | SEE, THAT'S HOW WE BUY STUFF. |
| 356 | YEAH. I'M AN ACTOR. |
| 357 | HAVE I SEEN YOU IN ANYTHING? |
| 358 | I DOUBT IT. |
| 359 | MOSTLY REGIONAL WORK. |
| 360 | UNLESS YOU CAUGHT |
| 361 | THE WEE ONES PRODUCTION OF PINOCCHIO. |
| 362 | "LOOK, GEPETTO, I'M A REAL LIVE BOY." |
| 363 | I WILL NOT TAKE THIS ABUSE. |
| 364 | YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 365 | I'M SORRY. |
| 366 | ♪ ONCE I WAS A WOODEN BOY, A LITTLE WOODEN BOY. ♪ |
| 367 | SO HOW YOU DOING TODAY? |
| 368 | DID YOU SLEEP OKAY? |
| 369 | DID YOU TALK TO BARRY? |
| 370 | I CAN'T STOP SMILING. |
| 371 | I CAN SEE THAT. |
| 372 | YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SLEPT WITH A HANGER IN YOUR MOUTH. |
| 373 | I KNOW. |
| 374 | HE'S JUST SO... |
| 375 | YOU REMEMBER YOU AND TONY DEMARCO? |
| 376 | OH, YEAH. |
| 377 | WELL, IT'S LIKE THAT-- WITH FEELINGS. |
| 378 | OH, WOW, ARE YOU IN TROUBLE. |
| 379 | I AM JUST GOING TO GET UP, GO TO WORK |
| 380 | AND NOT THINK ABOUT HIM ALL DAY. |
| 381 | OR ELSE I'M JUST GOING TO GET UP AND GO TO WORK. |
| 382 | WISH ME LUCK. WHAT FOR? |
| 383 | I'M GOING TO GET |
| 384 | ONE OF THOSE JOB THINGS. |
| 385 | HEY, MONICA. |
| 386 | FRANNIE, WELCOME BACK. |
| 387 | HOW WAS FLORIDA? |
| 388 | YOU HAD SEX, DIDN'T YOU? |
| 389 | HOW DO YOU DO THAT? |
| 390 | SO, WHO? |
| 391 | YOU KNOW PAUL? |
| 392 | PAUL, THE WINE GUY? |
| 393 | OH, YEAH, I KNOW PAUL. |
| 394 | YOU MEAN, YOU KNOW PAUL LIKE I KNOW PAUL? |
| 395 | ARE YOU KIDDING? I TAKE CREDIT FOR PAUL. |
| 396 | YOU KNOW, BEFORE ME, THERE WAS NO SNAP IN HIS TURTLE |
| 397 | FOR TWO YEARS. |
| 398 | OF COURSE IT WAS A LINE. |
| 399 | WHY WOULD ANYBODY DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?! |
| 400 | I ASSUME WE'RE LOOKING FOR AN ANSWER |
| 401 | MORE SOPHISTICATED THAN "TO GET YOU INTO BED." |
| 402 | IS IT ME?! |
| 403 | IS IT LIKE I HAVE SOME SORT OF BEACON THAT ONLY DOGS |
| 404 | AND MEN WITH SEVERE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS CAN HEAR? |
| 405 | GIVE ME YOUR FEET. |
| 406 | I JUST THOUGHT HE WAS NICE, YOU KNOW? |
| 407 | I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A LINE. |
| 408 | GUESS WHAT? |
| 409 | YOU GOT A JOB? |
| 410 | ARE YOU KIDDING? |
| 411 | I'M TRAINED FOR NOTHING. |
| 412 | I WAS LAUGHED OUT OF 12 INTERVIEWS. |
| 413 | YET YOU'RE UPBEAT. |
| 414 | YOU WOULD BE, TOO, IF YOU FOUND JOAN AND DAVID BOOTS ON SALE |
| 415 | 50 PERCENT OFF. |
| 416 | OH, HOW WELL YOU KNOW ME. |
| 417 | THEY'RE MY NEW I-DON'T-NEED-A-JOB, |
| 418 | I-DON'T-NEED-MY-PARENTS, I'VE-GOT-GREAT-BOOTS BOOTS. |
| 419 | HOW DID YOU PAY FOR THEM? |
| 420 | A CREDIT CARD. |
| 421 | AND WHO PAYS FOR THAT? |
| 422 | UM... MY FATHER. |
| 423 | COME ON. YOU CAN'T LIVE OFF YOUR PARENTS YOUR WHOLE LIFE. |
| 424 | I KNOW THAT. |
| 425 | THAT'S WHY I WAS GETTING MARRIED. |
| 426 | IT'S HARD BEING ON YOUR OWN THE FIRST TIME. |
| 427 | THANK YOU. |
| 428 | I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST CAME HERE. |
| 429 | I WAS 14, MY MOM HAD JUST KILLED HERSELF |
| 430 | AND MY STEPDAD WAS BACK IN PRISON. |
| 431 | I GOT HERE AND DIDN'T KNOW ANYBODY. |
| 432 | I ENDED UP LIVING WITH THIS ALBINO GUY |
| 433 | WHO WAS CLEANING WINDSHIELDS OUTSIDE PORT AUTHORITY |
| 434 | AND THEN HE KILLED HIMSELF |
| 435 | AND THEN I FOUND AROMA THERAPY. |
| 436 | SO I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. |
| 437 | THE WORD YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IS... |
| 438 | "ANYWAY..." |
| 439 | ALL RIGHT. YOU READY? |
| 440 | I DON'T THINK SO. |
| 441 | CUT. CUT. |
| 442 | ( chanting ): CUT. CUT. CUT. CUT. CUT. |
| 443 | ( cheering ) |
| 444 | WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD. IT SUCKS. |
| 445 | YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT. |
| 446 | ( "Star Spangled Banner" playing ) |
| 447 | THAT'S IT. |
| 448 | YOU WANT TO CRASH ON THE COUCH? |
| 449 | NO. I GOT TO GO HOME. |
| 450 | YOU GOING TO BE OKAY? |
| 451 | YEAH. |
| 452 | HEY, MON, LOOK WHAT I FOUND. |
| 453 | WHAT? |
| 454 | THAT'S PAUL'S WATCH. |
| 455 | PUT IT BACK WHERE YOU FOUND IT. |
| 456 | OH, BOY. |
| 457 | ALL RIGHT, GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. |
| 458 | Both: GOOD NIGHT. |
| 459 | HMM. |
| 460 | OH, SORRY. |
| 461 | OH, NO. GO. |
| 462 | SPLIT IT? |
| 463 | OKAY. |
| 464 | THANKS. |
| 465 | YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW THIS |
| 466 | BUT BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL I HAD A... |
| 467 | MAJOR CRUSH ON YOU. |
| 468 | I KNEW. |
| 469 | YOU DID? |
| 470 | I ALWAYS FIGURED YOU JUST THOUGHT |
| 471 | I WAS MONICA'S GEEKY OLDER BROTHER. |
| 472 | I DID. |
| 473 | OH. |
| 474 | LISTEN, DO YOU THINK-- |
| 475 | AND TRY NOT TO LET MY INTENSE VULNERABILITY |
| 476 | BECOME ANY KIND OF A FACTOR HERE-- |
| 477 | BUT WOULD IT BE OKAY |
| 478 | IF I ASKED YOU OUT SOMETIME MAYBE? |
| 479 | YEAH. |
| 480 | MAYBE. |
| 481 | OKAY. |
| 482 | OKAY, MAYBE I WILL. |
| 483 | GOOD NIGHT. |
| 484 | GOOD NIGHT. |
| 485 | SEE YOU. |
| 486 | MM-HMM. |
| 487 | WAIT, WAIT. |
| 488 | WHAT'S WITH YOU? |
| 489 | I JUST GRABBED A SPOON. |
| 490 | I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I'M HEARING. |
| 491 | ♪ I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I'M HEARING. ♪ |
| 492 | I SAID YOU HAD... |
| 493 | ♪ I SAID YOU HAD... ♪ |
| 494 | WOULD YOU STOP? |
| 495 | WAS I DOING IT AGAIN? |
| 496 | All: YES! |
| 497 | WOULD ANYBODY LIKE MORE COFFEE? |
| 498 | DID YOU MAKE IT |
| 499 | OR ARE YOU JUST SERVING IT? |
| 500 | I'M JUST SERVING IT. |
| 501 | YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. |
| 502 | KIDS, NEW DREAM. |
| 503 | I'M IN LAS VEGAS. |
| 504 | I'M LIZA MINELLI. |
| 505 | |
| 1 | WHAT YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND IS |
| 2 | FOR US, KISSING IS AS IMPORTANT |
| 3 | AS ANY PART OF IT. |
| 4 | YEAH, RIGHT. |
| 5 | YOU SERIOUS? |
| 6 | OH, YEAH. |
| 7 | EVERYTHING YOU |
| 8 | NEED TO KNOW IS IN THAT FIRST KISS. |
| 9 | ABSOLUTELY. |
| 10 | YEAH, I THINK FOR US |
| 11 | KISSING IS PRETTY MUCH LIKE AN OPENING ACT, YOU KNOW? |
| 12 | IT'S LIKE THE STAND-UP COMEDIAN YOU HAVE TO SIT THROUGH |
| 13 | BEFORE PINK FLOYD COMES IN. |
| 14 | YEAH, AND IT'S NOT THAT WE DON'T LIKE THE COMEDIAN. |
| 15 | IT'S JUST THAT THAT'S... |
| 16 | THAT'S NOT WHY WE BOUGHT THE TICKET. |
| 17 | THE PROBLEM IS, THOUGH |
| 18 | AFTER THE CONCERT'S OVER |
| 19 | NO MATTER HOW GREAT THE SHOW WAS |
| 20 | YOU GIRLS ARE ALWAYS |
| 21 | LOOKING FOR THE COMEDIAN AGAIN. |
| 22 | I MEAN WE'RE IN THE CAR, FIGHTING TRAFFIC. |
| 23 | BASICALLY, JUST TRYING TO STAY AWAKE. |
| 24 | YEAH, WELL, WORD OF ADVICE-- |
| 25 | BRING BACK THE COMEDIAN. |
| 26 | OTHERWISE, NEXT TIME |
| 27 | YOU'RE GOING TO FIND YOURSELF SITTING AT HOME |
| 28 | LISTENING TO THAT ALBUM ALONE. |
| 29 | ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT SEX? |
| 30 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 31 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 32 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 33 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 34 | ♪ WHEN IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 35 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 36 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 37 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 39 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 40 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 41 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 42 | Ross: NO, IT'S GOOD. |
| 43 | IT IS GOOD. |
| 44 | IT'S JUST THAT, HMM... |
| 45 | DOESN'T SHE SEEM A LITTLE ANGRY? |
| 46 | WELL, SHE HAS ISSUES. |
| 47 | DOES SHE? |
| 48 | HE'S OUT BANGING |
| 49 | WOMEN WITH A CLUB, WHILE SHE SITS AT HOME |
| 50 | TRYING TO GET THE MASTODON SMELL OUT OF THE CARPET. |
| 51 | OKAY, OKAY... |
| 52 | MARSHA, YOU SEE THESE ARE CAVE PEOPLE. |
| 53 | THEY HAVE ISSUES LIKE |
| 54 | "GEE, THAT GLACIER'S GETTING KIND OF CLOSE." SEE? |
| 55 | SPEAKING OF ISSUES |
| 56 | ISN'T THAT YOUR EX-WIFE? |
| 57 | MY..? NO, NO. |
| 58 | YES, IT IS. |
| 59 | CAROL, HI. |
| 60 | YES, IT IS. HOW ABOUT I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU |
| 61 | IN THE ICE AGE. |
| 62 | HI. |
| 63 | HI. |
| 64 | SO... |
| 65 | YOU LOOK GREAT. |
| 66 | I UH... |
| 67 | I HATE THAT. |
| 68 | SORRY. THANKS. |
| 69 | YOU LOOK GOOD TOO. |
| 70 | AH, WELL, YOU KNOW, IN HERE ANYONE WHO... |
| 71 | STANDS ERECT... |
| 72 | SO, WHAT'S NEW? |
| 73 | STILL, UH... |
| 74 | A LESBIAN? |
| 75 | WELL... |
| 76 | YOU NEVER KNOW. |
| 77 | HOW'S UM... HOW'S THE FAMILY? |
| 78 | MARTY'S STILL TOTALLY PARANOID. |
| 79 | OH, AND THAT'S... |
| 80 | CAROL, WHY ARE YOU |
| 81 | HERE, CAROL? |
| 82 | I'M PREGNANT. |
| 83 | PREGNANT. |
| 84 | Ha! It looks like she didn't leave in such a hurry after all. |
| 85 | I THINK THIS IS THE EPISODE OF THREE'S COMPANY |
| 86 | WHERE THERE'S SOME KIND OF MISUNDERSTANDING. |
| 87 | OH, THEN I'VE ALREADY SEEN THIS ONE. |
| 88 | ARE YOU THROUGH WITH THAT? |
| 89 | YEAH, SORRY. THE SWALLOWING SLOWED ME DOWN. |
| 90 | WHOSE LITTLE BALL OF PAPER IS THIS? |
| 91 | OH, THAT WOULD BE MINE. |
| 92 | SEE, I WROTE A NOTE TO MYSELF |
| 93 | THEN I REALIZED |
| 94 | I DIDN'T NEED IT, SO I BALLED IT UP... |
| 95 | AND NOW I WISH I WAS DEAD. |
| 96 | SHE ALREADY FLUFFED THAT PILLOW. |
| 97 | MONICA, YOU ALREADY... |
| 98 | BUT IT'S FINE. |
| 99 | I DON'T WANT TO GIVE THEM ANY MORE AMMUNITION |
| 100 | THAN THEY ALREADY HAVE. |
| 101 | YES, AND WE ALL KNOW HOW CRUEL A PARENT CAN BE |
| 102 | ABOUT THE FLATNESS OF A CHILD'S PILLOW. |
| 103 | MONICA? HI. |
| 104 | UM, MONICA? |
| 105 | YOU'RE SCARING ME. |
| 106 | I MEAN, YOU'RE LIKE ALL CHAOTIC AND TWIRLY, YOU KNOW? |
| 107 | AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY. |
| 108 | YEAH, CALM DOWN. |
| 109 | YOU DON'T SEE ROSS GETTING ALL |
| 110 | CHAOTIC AND TWIRLY |
| 111 | EVERY TIME THEY COME. |
| 112 | THAT'S BECAUSE AS FAR AS MY PARENTS ARE CONCERNED |
| 113 | ROSS CAN DO NO WRONG. |
| 114 | YOU SEE, HE'S A PRINCE. |
| 115 | APPARENTLY, THEY HAD SOME BIG CEREMONY BEFORE I WAS BORN. |
| 116 | EW, EW, EW, EW, EW! |
| 117 | WHAT? |
| 118 | UGLY NAKED GUY GOT A THIGH MASTER. |
| 119 | All: EW... |
| 120 | HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY ENGAGEMENT RING? |
| 121 | YEAH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. |
| 122 | OH, GOD. OH, GOD. |
| 123 | OH, GOD. OH, GOD. OH, GOD. |
| 124 | NO, DON'T TOUCH THAT. |
| 125 | OH, LIKE I WASN'T DREADING TOMORROW ENOUGH. |
| 126 | HAVING TO GIVE IT BACK TO HIM. |
| 127 | "HI, BARRY. REMEMBER ME? I'M THE GIRL IN THE VEIL |
| 128 | THAT STOMPED ON YOUR HEART IN FRONT OF YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY." |
| 129 | NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO RETURN THE RING WITHOUT THE RING |
| 130 | WHICH MAKES IT SO MUCH HARDER. |
| 131 | EASY, RACH. WE'LL FIND IT. |
| 132 | WON'T WE? |
| 133 | OH. YEAH. |
| 134 | ALL RIGHT, WHEN DID YOU HAVE IT ON LAST? |
| 135 | DOY. PROBABLY RIGHT BEFORE SHE LOST IT. |
| 136 | YOU DON'T GET A LOT OF "DOY" THESE DAYS. |
| 137 | NO, I HAD IT THIS MORNING |
| 138 | AND I KNOW I HAD IT WHEN I WAS IN THE KITCHEN WITH... |
| 139 | DINAH? |
| 140 | OH, DON'T BE MAD. |
| 141 | YOU DIDN'T. |
| 142 | OH, I'M SORRY. |
| 143 | I GAVE YOU ONE JOB. |
| 144 | OH, BUT LOOK HOW STRAIGHT THOSE NOODLES ARE. |
| 145 | Chandler: MONICA, YOU KNOW |
| 146 | THAT'S NOT HOW YOU LOOK FOR AN ENGAGEMENT RING |
| 147 | IN A LASAGNA. |
| 148 | I JUST CAN'T DO IT. |
| 149 | BOYS? |
| 150 | WE'RE GOING IN. |
| 151 | HI. |
| 152 | OH, THAT IS NOT A HAPPY "HI." |
| 153 | CAROL'S PREGNANT. |
| 154 | OOH, I FOUND IT! |
| 155 | WELL, WHAT..? |
| 156 | WHA-WHA..? WHAT..? |
| 157 | YEAH. |
| 158 | DO THAT FOR ANOTHER TWO HOURS |
| 159 | YOU MIGHT BE WHERE I AM RIGHT ABOUT NOW. |
| 160 | KIND OF PUTS THAT WHOLE PILLOW THING |
| 161 | IN PERSPECTIVE, HUH, MON? |
| 162 | HOW DO YOU FIT INTO THIS WHOLE THING? |
| 163 | WELL, CAROL SAYS SHE AND SUSAN |
| 164 | WANT ME TO BE INVOLVED |
| 165 | BUT IF I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH IT |
| 166 | I DON'T HAVE TO BE INVOLVED. |
| 167 | BASICALLY, IT'S TOTALLY UP TO ME. |
| 168 | SHE IS SO GREAT. |
| 169 | I MISS HER. |
| 170 | WELL, WHAT DOES SHE MEAN BY "INVOLVED"? |
| 171 | PRESUMABLY, THE BIGGEST PART |
| 172 | OF YOUR JOB IS DONE. |
| 173 | ANYWAY |
| 174 | THEY WANT ME TO GO DOWN TO THIS SONOGRAM THING |
| 175 | WITH THEM TOMORROW. |
| 176 | WHAT WILL YOU DO? |
| 177 | I HAVE NO IDEA. |
| 178 | NO MATTER WHAT I DO, THOUGH |
| 179 | I'M STILL GOING TO BE A FATHER. |
| 180 | ( clattering ) |
| 181 | THIS IS STILL RUINED, RIGHT? |
| 182 | OH, MARTHA LUDWIN'S DAUGHTER IS GOING TO CALL YOU. |
| 183 | HMM, WHAT'S THAT CURRY TASTE? |
| 184 | CURRY. |
| 185 | MMM. |
| 186 | I THINK THEY'RE GREAT. |
| 187 | I REALLY DO. |
| 188 | YOU REMEMBER THE LUDWINS. |
| 189 | THE BIG ONE HAD A THING FOR YOU, DIDN'T SHE? |
| 190 | THEY ALL HAD A THING FOR HIM. |
| 191 | OH, MOM. |
| 192 | Monica: I'M SORRY. WHY IS |
| 193 | THIS GIRL GOING TO CALL ME? |
| 194 | SHE JUST GRADUATED, AND SHE WANTS TO BE SOMETHING |
| 195 | IN COOKING OR FOOD OR... I DON'T KNOW. |
| 196 | I TOLD HER YOU HAVE A RESTAURANT... |
| 197 | NO, MOM. I DON'T |
| 198 | HAVE A RESTAURANT. |
| 199 | I WORK IN A RESTAURANT. |
| 200 | WELL, THEY DON'T HAVE TO KNOW THAT. |
| 201 | ROSS, COULD YOU COME AND HELP ME WITH THE SPAGHETTI, PLEASE? |
| 202 | YES. |
| 203 | OH, WE'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI. |
| 204 | THAT'S... EASY. |
| 205 | I KNOW THIS IS GOING TO SOUND UNBELIEVABLY SELFISH ON MY PART |
| 206 | BUT WERE YOU PLANNING ON BRINGING UP |
| 207 | THE WHOLE BABY-LESBIAN THING? |
| 208 | 'CAUSE I THINK IT MIGHT TAKE |
| 209 | SOME OF THE HEAT OFF ME. |
| 210 | WHAT THAT RACHEL DID TO HER LIFE. |
| 211 | WE RAN INTO HER PARENTS AT THE CLUB. |
| 212 | THEY WEREN'T PLAYING WELL. |
| 213 | I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU |
| 214 | WHAT THEY SPENT ON THAT WEDDING |
| 215 | BUT $40,000 IS A LOT OF MONEY. |
| 216 | WELL, AT LEAST SHE HAD THE CHANCE |
| 217 | TO LEAVE A MAN AT THE ALTAR. |
| 218 | WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? |
| 219 | NOTHING. |
| 220 | IT'S AN EXPRESSION. |
| 221 | NO, IT'S NOT. |
| 222 | DON'T LISTEN TO HER. |
| 223 | YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN INDEPENDENT. |
| 224 | EVEN WHEN YOU WERE A KID |
| 225 | AND WERE CHUBBY, AND HAD NO FRIENDS |
| 226 | YOU WERE JUST FINE. |
| 227 | AND YOU WOULD READ ALONE IN YOUR ROOM-- AND YOUR PUZZLES. |
| 228 | LOOK, THERE ARE PEOPLE LIKE ROSS |
| 229 | WHO NEED TO SHOOT FOR THE STARS |
| 230 | WITH HIS MUSEUM AND HIS PAPERS GETTING PUBLISHED. |
| 231 | OTHER PEOPLE ARE SATISFIED WITH STAYING WHERE THEY ARE. |
| 232 | I'M TELLING YOU, THESE ARE THE PEOPLE |
| 233 | WHO NEVER GET CANCER. |
| 234 | I READ ABOUT THESE WOMEN |
| 235 | TRYING TO HAVE IT ALL |
| 236 | AND I THANK GOD OUR LITTLE HARMONICA |
| 237 | DOESN'T SEEM TO HAVE THAT PROBLEM. |
| 238 | SO, ROSS, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU? |
| 239 | ANY STORIES? |
| 240 | NO NEWS, NO LITTLE ANECDOTES |
| 241 | TO SHARE WITH THE FOLKS? |
| 242 | OKAY, OKAY. |
| 243 | LOOK, I REALIZE YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN WONDERING |
| 244 | WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED |
| 245 | BETWEEN CAROL AND ME, AND SO, WELL... |
| 246 | HERE'S THE DEAL. |
| 247 | CAROL'S A LESBIAN. |
| 248 | SHE IS LIVING WITH A WOMAN NAMED SUSAN. |
| 249 | SHE'S PREGNANT WITH MY CHILD |
| 250 | AND SHE AND SUSAN ARE GOING TO RAISE THE BABY. |
| 251 | AND YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS? |
| 252 | FOLKS ARE REALLY THAT BAD, HUH? |
| 253 | WELL, YOU KNOW, THESE PEOPLE ARE PROS. |
| 254 | THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING. |
| 255 | THEY TAKE THEIR TIME. |
| 256 | THEY GET THE JOB DONE. |
| 257 | I KNOW THEY SAY THAT YOU CAN'T CHANGE YOUR PARENTS. |
| 258 | BOY, IF YOU COULD |
| 259 | I'D WANT YOURS. |
| 260 | MUST PEE. |
| 261 | IT'S EVEN WORSE WHEN YOU'RE TWINS. |
| 262 | YOU'RE A TWIN? |
| 263 | YEAH. WE DON'T SPEAK. |
| 264 | SHE'S THIS HIGH-POWERED, DRIVEN, CAREER TYPE. |
| 265 | WHAT DOES SHE DO? |
| 266 | SHE'S A WAITRESS. |
| 267 | ALL RIGHT, GUYS. |
| 268 | I'VE KIND OF GOT TO CLEAN UP NOW. |
| 269 | YOU'RE AN ONLY CHILD, RIGHT? |
| 270 | YOU DON'T HAVE THIS. |
| 271 | WELL, NO, ALTHOUGH I DID HAVE AN IMAGINARY FRIEND |
| 272 | WHO MY PARENTS ACTUALLY PREFERRED. |
| 273 | Rachel: HIT THE LIGHTS, PLEASE. |
| 274 | HOW LONG WAS I IN THERE? |
| 275 | I'M JUST CLEANING UP. |
| 276 | OH, YOU, UH, DO YOU NEED ANY HELP? |
| 277 | UM, OKAY, SURE. |
| 278 | THANKS. |
| 279 | ANYWAY, UH, SO YOU |
| 280 | NERVOUS ABOUT BARRY TOMORROW? |
| 281 | UH, A LITTLE. |
| 282 | MM-HMM. |
| 283 | A LOT. |
| 284 | MM-HMM. |
| 285 | SO, GOT ANY ADVICE-- |
| 286 | YOU KNOW, AS SOMEONE WHO'S RECENTLY BEEN DUMPED? |
| 287 | WELL, YOU MAY WANT TO STEER CLEAR |
| 288 | OF THE WORD "DUMPED." |
| 289 | CHANCES ARE, HE'S GOING TO BE THIS |
| 290 | THIS BROKEN SHELL OF A MAN. |
| 291 | SO YOU SHOULD TRY NOT TO LOOK TOO TERRIFIC. |
| 292 | I KNOW IT'LL BE HARD. |
| 293 | UH, OR, YOU KNOW, I CAN, UH... HEY, I'LL GO DOWN THERE |
| 294 | AND GIVE BARRY BACK HIS RING |
| 295 | YOU CAN GO WITH CAROL AND SUSAN TO |
| 296 | THE O.B.G.Y. N. |
| 297 | YOU'VE GOT CAROL TOMORROW. |
| 298 | UGH, WHEN DID IT GET SO COMPLICATED? |
| 299 | GOT ME. |
| 300 | REMEMBER IN HIGH SCHOOL? |
| 301 | YEAH. |
| 302 | DIDN'T YOU THINK YOU WOULD MEET SOMEONE |
| 303 | FALL IN LOVE |
| 304 | AND THAT WOULD BE IT? |
| 305 | ( sighs ) |
| 306 | ROSS? |
| 307 | YES, YES. |
| 308 | UGH. |
| 309 | MAN, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE HERE. |
| 310 | HMM. |
| 311 | ME NEITHER. |
| 312 | HI. OH, SORRY I'M LATE. |
| 313 | I GOT STUCK AT WORK. |
| 314 | THERE WAS THIS BIG DINOSAUR THING. |
| 315 | ANYWAY. |
| 316 | HI. |
| 317 | ROSS, YOU REMEMBER SUSAN. |
| 318 | HOW COULD I FORGET? |
| 319 | ROSS. |
| 320 | HELLO SUSAN. |
| 321 | GOOD SHAKE. GOOD SHAKE. |
| 322 | SO, UH, WE'RE JUST WAITING FOR... |
| 323 | DR. OBERMAN. |
| 324 | DR. OBERMAN. AND IS HE..? |
| 325 | SHE. |
| 326 | "SHE," OF COURSE. |
| 327 | SHE, UH, FAMILIAR |
| 328 | WITH OUR SPECIAL SITUATION? |
| 329 | YES, AND SHE'S VERY SUPPORTIVE. |
| 330 | GREAT. OKAY, THAT'S GREAT. |
| 331 | NO, I'M... OH. |
| 332 | THANKS. |
| 333 | ( laughs ) |
| 334 | QUACK, QUACK. QUACK, QUACK. |
| 335 | QUACK, QUACK, QUACK. |
| 336 | ROSS... |
| 337 | THAT OPENS MY CERVIX. |
| 338 | BARRY? |
| 339 | COME ON IN. |
| 340 | ARE YOU SURE? |
| 341 | IT'S FINE. HE'LL BE HERE FOR HOURS. |
| 342 | HUH? |
| 343 | SO... |
| 344 | HOW YOU DOING? |
| 345 | I'M... |
| 346 | I-I'M OKAY. |
| 347 | YOU LOOK GREAT. |
| 348 | YEAH, WELL... |
| 349 | Woman: Dr. Farber |
| 350 | Jason Greenspan is gagging. |
| 351 | BE RIGHT THERE. |
| 352 | BE BACK IN A SECOND. |
| 353 | I DUMPED HIM. |
| 354 | OKAY. |
| 355 | SO, UH... |
| 356 | SO HOW'S THIS, UH... |
| 357 | HOW'S THIS GOING TO WORK? |
| 358 | AHEM. YOU KNOW, WITH US? |
| 359 | YOU KNOW WHEN, LIKE |
| 360 | IMPORTANT DECISIONS HAVE TO BE MADE? |
| 361 | GIVE ME A "FOR INSTANCE." |
| 362 | WELL, I DON'T KNOW. |
| 363 | HOW ABOUT WITH THE BABY'S NAME? |
| 364 | MARLON. |
| 365 | MARLON. |
| 366 | OR "MINNIE" FOR A GIRL. |
| 367 | AS IN "MOUSE"? |
| 368 | AS IN MY GRANDMOTHER. |
| 369 | STILL, YOU SAY "MINNIE," YOU HEAR "MOUSE." |
| 370 | UM, HOW ABOUT, UM... |
| 371 | HOW ABOUT "JULIA"? |
| 372 | JULIA. |
| 373 | WE AGREED ON MINNIE. |
| 374 | WE AGREED WE'D SPEND OUR LIVES TOGETHER. |
| 375 | THINGS CHANGE-- ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES. |
| 376 | I BELIEVE JULIA'S ON THE TABLE. |
| 377 | OH. |
| 378 | SORRY ABOUT THAT. |
| 379 | SO, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? |
| 380 | OH, NOT MUCH. |
| 381 | I GOT A JOB. |
| 382 | THAT'S GREAT. |
| 383 | WHY ARE YOU SO TAN? |
| 384 | OH, I, UH, I WENT TO ARUBA. |
| 385 | OH, NO. |
| 386 | YOU WENT ON OUR HONEYMOON ALONE? |
| 387 | NO. |
| 388 | NO, ACTUALLY, UH... |
| 389 | I WENT WITH, UH... |
| 390 | NOW THIS MAY HURT. |
| 391 | ME? |
| 392 | NO, NO. |
| 393 | I WENT WITH MINDY. |
| 394 | MINDY? |
| 395 | MY MAID OF HONOR, MINDY? |
| 396 | YEAH, WE'RE UH... |
| 397 | KIND OF A THING NOW. |
| 398 | OH. |
| 399 | WELL, UM, I... |
| 400 | YOU GOT PLUGS. |
| 401 | CAREFUL THEY HAVEN'T QUITE TAKEN YET. |
| 402 | AND YOU GOT LENSES. |
| 403 | BUT YOU HATE STICKING YOUR FINGER IN YOUR EYE. |
| 404 | NOT FOR HER. |
| 405 | OH. |
| 406 | LISTEN, I REALLY WANTED TO THANK YOU. |
| 407 | OKAY. |
| 408 | A MONTH AGO, I WANTED TO HURT YOU-- |
| 409 | MORE THAN I'VE EVER WANTED TO HURT ANYONE. |
| 410 | AND I'M AN ORTHODONTIST. |
| 411 | WOW. |
| 412 | YOU KNOW, YOU WERE RIGHT. |
| 413 | I THOUGHT WE WERE HAPPY. |
| 414 | WE WEREN'T HAPPY. |
| 415 | BUT WITH MINDY... |
| 416 | NOW I'M HAPPY. |
| 417 | SPIT. |
| 418 | WHAT? |
| 419 | ME. |
| 420 | ANYWAY, UM... |
| 421 | I GUESS, UH... |
| 422 | I GUESS THIS BELONGS TO YOU. |
| 423 | AND THANK YOU FOR GIVING IT TO ME. |
| 424 | WELL, THANK YOU FOR GIVING IT BACK. |
| 425 | HELLO? |
| 426 | OH, PLEASE. WHAT'S WRONG WITH HELEN? |
| 427 | "HELEN GELLER"? |
| 428 | I DON'T THINK SO. |
| 429 | IT WON'T BE HELEN GELLER. |
| 430 | THANK YOU. |
| 431 | NO, I MEAN |
| 432 | IT'S NOT GELLER. |
| 433 | IT'S GOING TO BE "HELEN WILLICK?" |
| 434 | NO, ACTUALLY WE TALKED ABOUT |
| 435 | "HELEN WILLICK-BUNCH." |
| 436 | WELL, WAIT A MINUTE. |
| 437 | WHY IS SHE IN THE TITLE? |
| 438 | IT'S MY BABY, TOO. |
| 439 | REALLY? I DON'T REMEMBER YOU MAKING ANY SPERM. |
| 440 | YEAH, AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT A CHALLENGE THAT IS. |
| 441 | SEE, SEE? |
| 442 | YOU TWO STOP IT. |
| 443 | NO, SHE GETS CREDIT, I'M IN THERE TOO. |
| 444 | ROSS, YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY SUGGESTING |
| 445 | "HELEN WILLICK-BUNCH-GELLER?" |
| 446 | THAT BORDERS ON CHILD ABUSE. |
| 447 | UH, OF COURSE NOT. |
| 448 | I'M SUGGESTING "GELLER-WILLICK-BUNCH." |
| 449 | SEE WHAT HE'S DOING? |
| 450 | NO ONE WILL SAY ALL THOSE NAMES. |
| 451 | THEY'LL WIND UP CALLING HER "GELLER." |
| 452 | THEN HE GETS HIS WAY. |
| 453 | MY WAY? YOU THINK THIS IS MY WAY? |
| 454 | BELIEVE ME, OF ALL THE WAYS I EVER IMAGINED |
| 455 | THIS MOMENT IN MY LIFE BEING-- THIS IS NOT MY WAY. |
| 456 | YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 457 | THIS IS TOO HARD-- I CAN'T... |
| 458 | HOW ARE WE? |
| 459 | ANY NAUSEA? |
| 460 | A LITTLE. |
| 461 | YEAH. JUST A LITTLE. |
| 462 | I WAS JUST WONDERING ABOUT THE MOTHER-TO-BE |
| 463 | BUT THANKS FOR SHARING. |
| 464 | UH, LIE BACK. |
| 465 | UH, YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 466 | I'M GOING TO GO. |
| 467 | I DON'T THINK I CAN BE INVOLVED IN THIS PARTICULAR FAMILY. |
| 468 | ( heartbeats ) |
| 469 | ( heartbeats continue ) |
| 470 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 471 | LOOK AT THAT. |
| 472 | I KNOW. |
| 473 | ( heartbeats continue ) |
| 474 | ( heartbeats ) |
| 475 | ISN'T THAT AMAZING? |
| 476 | WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE SEEING HERE? |
| 477 | I DON'T KNOW, BUT I THINK IT'S ABOUT |
| 478 | TO ATTACK THE ENTERPRISE. |
| 479 | IF YOU TILT YOUR HEAD TO THE LEFT AND RELAX YOUR EYES |
| 480 | IT KIND OF LOOKS LIKE AN OLD POTATO. |
| 481 | THEN DON'T DO THAT, ALL RIGHT? |
| 482 | OKAY. |
| 483 | MONICA. |
| 484 | WHAT DO YOU THINK? |
| 485 | MM-HMM. |
| 486 | ARE YOU WELLING UP? |
| 487 | NO. |
| 488 | YOU ARE. |
| 489 | YOU'RE WELLING UP. |
| 490 | NO, I'M NOT. |
| 491 | YOU'LL BE AN AUNT. |
| 492 | ( sobbing ): SHUT UP. |
| 493 | HI, MINDY. |
| 494 | HI, I-IT'S RACHEL. |
| 495 | YEAH, I'M FINE. |
| 496 | I-I SAW BARRY TODAY. |
| 497 | UH, YEAH, HE TOLD ME. |
| 498 | NO. NO, IT'S OKAY. |
| 499 | REALLY, IT'S OKAY. |
| 500 | I HOPE YOU TWO ARE VERY HAPPY, I REALLY DO. |
| 501 | UH, OH, AND MIN, YOU KNOW |
| 502 | IF EVERYTHING WORKS OUT AND YOU GUYS |
| 503 | END UP GETTING MARRIED |
| 504 | AND HAVING KIDS AND EVERYTHING... |
| 505 | I HOPE THEY HAVE HIS OLD HAIRLINE AND YOUR OLD NOSE. |
| 506 | OKAY, I KNOW IT WAS A CHEAP SHOT |
| 507 | BUT I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW. |
| 508 | |
| 1 | HI, GUYS! |
| 2 | HEY, PHOEBE! |
| 3 | HEY, OH, HOW DID IT GO? |
| 4 | UM, NOT SO GOOD. |
| 5 | HE SAID, "WE SHOULD DO THIS AGAIN." |
| 6 | ( everyone groans ) |
| 7 | WHAT? "WE SHOULD DO IT AGAIN." |
| 8 | THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT? |
| 9 | NO, LOOSELY TRANSLATED |
| 10 | "WE SHOULD DO THIS AGAIN" MEANS |
| 11 | "YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME NAKED." |
| 12 | SINCE WHEN? |
| 13 | SINCE ALWAYS. |
| 14 | IT'S LIKE DATING LANGUAGE. |
| 15 | YOU KNOW, LIKE, "IT'S NOT YOU" MEANS "IT IS YOU." |
| 16 | OR "YOU'RE SUCH A NICE GUY" MEANS: |
| 17 | "I'LL BE DATING LEATHER-WEARING ALCOHOLICS |
| 18 | AND COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM TO YOU." |
| 19 | OR "I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE" |
| 20 | MEANS "HA, HA, I ALREADY AM." |
| 21 | AND EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS. |
| 22 | OH, YEAH... CUSHIONS THE BLOW. |
| 23 | LIKE WHEN YOU'RE A KID AND YOUR DOG DIES |
| 24 | AND THEY SAY IT WENT OFF TO SOME FARM. |
| 25 | THAT'S FUNNY. |
| 26 | NO, BECAUSE OUR PARENTS ACTUALLY DID |
| 27 | SEND OUR DOG UP TO LIVE ON A FARM. |
| 28 | UH... ROSS? |
| 29 | WHAT, HELLO? THE MILNERS' FARM IN CONNECTICUT? |
| 30 | THE MILNERS HAD THIS UNBELIEVABLE FARM. |
| 31 | THEY HAD HORSES |
| 32 | AND RABBITS TO CHASE |
| 33 | AND... |
| 34 | OH, MY GOD, CHI CHI! |
| 35 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 36 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 37 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 39 | ♪ WHEN IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 40 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 41 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 42 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 43 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 44 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 45 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 46 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO ♪ |
| 47 | Chandler: "SO HOW DOES IT FEEL KNOWING YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE?" |
| 48 | "WARDEN, IN FIVE MINUTES MY PAIN WILL BE OVER |
| 49 | "BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE KNOWLEDGE |
| 50 | THAT YOU SENT AN HONEST MAN TO DIE." |
| 51 | HEY, THAT WAS REALLY GOOD. |
| 52 | YEAH? THANKS, LET'S KEEP GOING. |
| 53 | OKAY. |
| 54 | "SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, DIMONE... HUH?" |
| 55 | "I JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO MY CELL |
| 56 | BECAUSE IN MY CELL I CAN SMOKE." |
| 57 | "SMOKE AWAY!" |
| 58 | I THINK THIS IS PROBABLY WHY |
| 59 | DIMONE SMOKES IN HIS CELL, ALONE. |
| 60 | WHAT? RELAX YOUR HAND. |
| 61 | LET YOUR WRIST GO. |
| 62 | NOT SO MUCH. |
| 63 | ALL RIGHT, NOW, TRY TAKING A PUFF. |
| 64 | RIGHT. |
| 65 | OKAY, NO, GIVE IT TO ME. |
| 66 | NO, NO, I'M NOT GIVING YOU A CIGARETTE. |
| 67 | DO YOU WANT TO GET THIS PART |
| 68 | OR NOT? HERE. |
| 69 | ALL RIGHT, NOW |
| 70 | DON'T THINK OF IT AS A CIGARETTE. |
| 71 | THINK OF IT AS THE THING |
| 72 | THAT HAS BEEN MISSING FROM YOUR HAND. |
| 73 | WHEN YOU'RE HOLDING IT, YOU FEEL RIGHT, YOU FEEL COMPLETE. |
| 74 | DO YOU MISS IT? |
| 75 | NO, NOT SO MUCH. |
| 76 | ALL RIGHT, NOW WE SMOKE. |
| 77 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 78 | THEY SAY IT'S THE SAME AS THE DISTANCE |
| 79 | FROM THE TIP OF A GUY'S THUMB TO THE TIP OF HIS INDEX FINGER. |
| 80 | THAT'S RIDICULOUS. |
| 81 | CAN I USE EITHER THUMB? |
| 82 | ALL RIGHT, DON'T TELL ME, DON'T TELL ME. |
| 83 | DECAF CAPPUCCINO FOR JOEY. |
| 84 | COFFEE BLACK. |
| 85 | LATTE. |
| 86 | AND AN ICED TEA. |
| 87 | I'M GETTING GOOD AT THIS. |
| 88 | EXCELLENT! |
| 89 | VERY GOOD. |
| 90 | GOOD FOR ME! |
| 91 | ( muttering ) |
| 92 | YOU OKAY, PHOEBE? |
| 93 | YEAH, NO, I'M... IT'S NOT EVEN WORTH IT-- |
| 94 | IT'S MY BANK. |
| 95 | WHAT DID THEY DO? |
| 96 | IT'S JUST... OKAY. |
| 97 | I'M GOING THROUGH MY MAIL |
| 98 | AND I OPEN UP THEIR MONTHLY STATEMENT! |
| 99 | EASY! |
| 100 | OKAY, I KNOW. |
| 101 | AND THERE'S $500 EXTRA IN MY ACCOUNT. |
| 102 | OH, SATAN'S MINIONS AT WORK AGAIN. |
| 103 | NOW I HAVE TO GO THERE AND DEAL WITH THEM... |
| 104 | WHAT? KEEP IT! |
| 105 | IT'S NOT MINE. |
| 106 | I DIDN'T EARN IT. |
| 107 | IT WOULD BE LIKE STEALING. |
| 108 | YEAH, BUT IF YOU SPENT IT, IT WOULD BE LIKE SHOPPING. |
| 109 | OKAY, OKAY, LET'S SAY I BOUGHT A REALLY GREAT PAIR OF SHOES. |
| 110 | DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'D HEAR WITH EVERY STEP I TOOK? |
| 111 | "NOT MINE, NOT MINE, NOT MINE." |
| 112 | EVEN IF I WAS HAPPY, AND SKIPPING, I'D HEAR |
| 113 | "NOT, NOT MINE, NOT, NOT MINE..." |
| 114 | WE'RE WITH YOU, WE GOT IT. |
| 115 | I'D NEVER ENJOY IT. |
| 116 | IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS GIANT KARMIC DEBT. |
| 117 | Monica: CHANDLER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? |
| 118 | HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? |
| 119 | WHAT IS THIS? |
| 120 | I'M SMOKING, I'M SMOKING. |
| 121 | YOU'VE BEEN SO GOOD |
| 122 | FOR THREE YEARS. |
| 123 | AND THIS IS MY REWARD. |
| 124 | THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH THE LAST TIME YOU QUIT. |
| 125 | OKAY, SO THIS TIME I WON'T QUIT. |
| 126 | PUT IT OUT! |
| 127 | I'M PUTTING IT OUT. |
| 128 | OH, NO! I CAN'T DRINK THIS NOW. |
| 129 | I'M GOING TO GO CHANGE. |
| 130 | I'VE GOT A DATE. |
| 131 | WITH ALAN AGAIN? |
| 132 | HOW'S IT GOING? |
| 133 | IT'S GOING PRETTY GOOD, YOU KNOW. |
| 134 | HE'S NICE, WE'RE HAVING FUN. |
| 135 | WHEN DO WE MEET HIM? |
| 136 | LET'S SEE, TODAY IS MONDAY. |
| 137 | NEVER. |
| 138 | NO, NOT AFTER WHAT HAPPENED WITH STEVE. |
| 139 | WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? |
| 140 | ( imitates lisp ): WE LOVED SCHTEVE. |
| 141 | SCHTEVE WAS SCHEXY. |
| 142 | SORRY. |
| 143 | I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM. |
| 144 | LET ME FIGURE THAT OUT. |
| 145 | THEN CAN WE MEET HIM? |
| 146 | MMM... NO... SCHORRY. |
| 147 | Monica: I MEAN, WHY SHOULD I LET THEM MEET HIM? |
| 148 | I BRING A GUY HOME |
| 149 | AND SOON THEY'RE ALL OVER HIM. |
| 150 | THEY'RE LIKE COYOTES PICKING OFF THE WEAK MEMBERS OF THE HERD. |
| 151 | LISTEN, AS SOMEONE WHO'S SEEN MORE THAN HER SHARE OF BAD BEEF |
| 152 | THAT IS NOT SUCH A TERRIBLE THING. |
| 153 | YOUR FRIENDS ARE JUST LOOKING OUT AFTER YOU. |
| 154 | JUST ONCE I WISH I'D BRING A GUY HOME THEY LIKED. |
| 155 | WELL, YOU DO REALIZE THAT THE ODDS OF THAT HAPPENING |
| 156 | ARE A LITTLE SLIMMER |
| 157 | IF THEY NEVER MEET THE GUY. |
| 158 | LET IT GO, ROSS. |
| 159 | YEAH, WELL, YOU DIDN'T KNOW CHI CHI. |
| 160 | Monica: DO YOU ALL PROMISE? |
| 161 | All: YEAH, WE PROMISE. |
| 162 | WE'LL BE GOOD. |
| 163 | CHANDLER, DO YOU PROMISE? |
| 164 | YOU CAN COME IN |
| 165 | BUT YOUR FILTER-TIPPED LITTLE BUDDY STAYS OUTSIDE. |
| 166 | Ross: HEY, PHOEBES! |
| 167 | "DEAR MS. BUFFAY: |
| 168 | "THANK YOU FOR CALLING ATTENTION TO OUR ERROR. |
| 169 | "WE HAVE CREDITED YOUR ACCOUNT $500. |
| 170 | "WE'RE SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE |
| 171 | "AND HOPE YOU'LL ACCEPT |
| 172 | "THIS FOOTBALL PHONE... |
| 173 | AS OUR FREE GIFT." |
| 174 | DO YOU BELIEVE THIS? |
| 175 | NOW I HAVE $1,000 AND A FOOTBALL PHONE. |
| 176 | WHAT BANK IS THIS? |
| 177 | ( buzzer buzzes ) |
| 178 | OKAY, IT'S HIM. |
| 179 | WHO IS IT? Alan. |
| 180 | CHANDLER, HE'S HERE! |
| 181 | OKAY, PLEASE BE GOOD, PLEASE. |
| 182 | JUST REMEMBER HOW MUCH YOU LIKE ME. |
| 183 | ( knocking at door ) |
| 184 | HI, ALAN, THIS IS EVERYBODY. |
| 185 | EVERYBODY, THIS IS ALAN. |
| 186 | HI. |
| 187 | All: HI, ALAN. |
| 188 | I'VE HEARD SCHO MUSCH ABOUT ALL YOU GUYS. |
| 189 | I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW. THANK YOU. |
| 190 | OKAY... OKAY, LET'S LET THE ALAN-BASHING BEGIN. |
| 191 | WHO'S GOING TO TAKE THE FIRST SHOT? HMM? |
| 192 | COME ON! |
| 193 | I'LL GO. |
| 194 | LET'S START WITH THE WAY HE KEPT PICKING AT... |
| 195 | YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY, I CAN'T DO THIS. |
| 196 | WE LOVED HIM. |
| 197 | All: WE LOVED HIM! |
| 198 | WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE THAT I'M GOING OUT WITH? |
| 199 | All: YES! |
| 200 | AND DID YOU NOTICE? |
| 201 | Men: YEAH, IT'S GREAT. |
| 202 | YOU KNOW WHAT WAS GREAT? |
| 203 | HOW HIS SMILE WAS CROOKED. |
| 204 | YES, LIKE THE MAN IN THE SHOE. |
| 205 | WHAT SHOE? |
| 206 | FROM THE NURSERY RHYME: |
| 207 | "THERE WAS A CROOKED MAN WHO HAD A CROOKED SMILE |
| 208 | "WHO LIVED IN A SHOE FOR A... WHILE." |
| 209 | SO I THINK ALAN... WILL BECOME THE YARDSTICK |
| 210 | AGAINST WHICH ALL FUTURE BOYFRIENDS WILL BE MEASURED. |
| 211 | WHAT FUTURE BOYFRIENDS? |
| 212 | NO, I THINK THIS COULD BE... |
| 213 | REALLY? |
| 214 | I'D MARRY HIM FOR HIS DAVID HASSELHOFF IMPRESSION. |
| 215 | YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO BE |
| 216 | DOING THAT AT PARTIES, RIGHT? |
| 217 | YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE MOST ABOUT HIM? |
| 218 | WHAT? |
| 219 | THE WAY HE MAKES ME FEEL ABOUT MYSELF. |
| 220 | YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. |
| 221 | HI. |
| 222 | HOW WAS THE GAME? |
| 223 | WELL... |
| 224 | All: WE WON! |
| 225 | FANTASTIC! I HAVE ONE QUESTION. |
| 226 | HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? |
| 227 | ALAN. HE WAS UNBELIEVABLE. |
| 228 | HE WAS LIKE THAT BUGS BUNNY CARTOON |
| 229 | WHERE BUGS IS PLAYING ALL THE POSITIONS |
| 230 | BUT INSTEAD IT WAS FIRST BASE, ALAN; |
| 231 | SECOND BASE, ALAN; THIRD BASE, ALAN. |
| 232 | I MEAN, IT WAS LIKE HE MADE US INTO A TEAM. |
| 233 | YEP, WE SURE SHOWED THOSE HASIDIC JEWELERS |
| 234 | A THING OR TWO ABOUT SOFTBALL. |
| 235 | CAN I ASK YOU GUYS A QUESTION? |
| 236 | DO YOU EVER THINK THAT ALAN IS MAYBE SOMETIMES... |
| 237 | WHAT? |
| 238 | I DON'T KNOW, A LITTLE TOO ALAN? |
| 239 | Rachel: OH, NO, THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE. |
| 240 | ONE CAN NEVER BE TOO ALAN. |
| 241 | YEAH, IT'S HIS INNATE ALAN-NESS THAT WE ADORE. |
| 242 | I PERSONALLY COULD HAVE A GALLON OF ALAN. |
| 243 | HEY, LIZZY. |
| 244 | HEY, WEIRD GIRL. |
| 245 | I BROUGHT YOU ALPHABET SOUP. |
| 246 | WITHOUT THE VOWELS? |
| 247 | YES, BUT I LEFT IN THE "Y"s |
| 248 | BECAUSE YOU KNOW, "SOMETIMES Y..." |
| 249 | I HAVE SOMETHING ELSE. SALTINES? |
| 250 | NO, BUT WOULD YOU LIKE $1,000 AND A FOOTBALL PHONE? |
| 251 | WHAT? |
| 252 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 253 | THERE'S REALLY MONEY IN HERE. I KNOW. |
| 254 | WEIRD GIRL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? |
| 255 | I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT. |
| 256 | NO, NO, I HAVE TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING. |
| 257 | NO, IT'S FINE, YOU DON'T... |
| 258 | DO YOU WANT MY TINFOIL HAT? |
| 259 | NO, BECAUSE YOU NEED THAT. |
| 260 | PLEASE, LET ME DO SOMETHING. |
| 261 | OKAY, ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. |
| 262 | YOU BUY ME A SODA, AND THEN WE'RE EVEN, OKAY? |
| 263 | OKAY. |
| 264 | OKAY. |
| 265 | KEEP THE CHANGE. |
| 266 | THANKS, LIZZY. |
| 267 | SURE YOU DON'T WANT A PRETZEL? |
| 268 | NO, I'M FINE, THANKS. |
| 269 | SEE YOU. |
| 270 | HUH! |
| 271 | A THUMB? |
| 272 | EWW! |
| 273 | I KNOW, I KNOW, I OPENED IT UP |
| 274 | AND IT WAS FLOATING IN THERE LIKE THIS TINY HITCHHIKER. |
| 275 | MAYBE IT'S A CONTEST, LIKE, COLLECT ALL FIVE. |
| 276 | DOES ANYONE WANT TO SEE? |
| 277 | All: NO! |
| 278 | OH, HEY, DON'T DO THAT. |
| 279 | PUT THAT OUT. |
| 280 | COME ON! |
| 281 | IT'S WORSE THAN THE THUMB. |
| 282 | HEY, THIS IS SO UNFAIR. |
| 283 | WHY IS IT UNFAIR? |
| 284 | SO I HAVE A FLAW. BIG DEAL! |
| 285 | LIKE JOEY'S CONSTANT KNUCKLE CRACKING |
| 286 | ISN'T ANNOYING? |
| 287 | AND ROSS WHO OVERPRONOUNCES EVERY WORD; |
| 288 | AND MONICA WITH THAT SNORT WHEN SHE LAUGHS. |
| 289 | I MEAN WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING? |
| 290 | I ACCEPT ALL THOSE FLAWS. |
| 291 | WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT ME FOR THIS? |
| 292 | DOES THE KNUCKLE CRACKING BOTHER EVERYBODY? |
| 293 | WELL, I COULD LIVE WITHOUT IT. |
| 294 | OH, WELL, IS IT, LIKE, A LITTLE ANNOYING |
| 295 | OR IS LIKE WHEN PHOEBE CHEWS HER HAIR? |
| 296 | NOW, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, PHOEBES. |
| 297 | I THINK IT'S ENDEARING. |
| 298 | OH, YOU DO, DO YOU? |
| 299 | ( laughs then snorts ) |
| 300 | YOU KNOW, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH SPEAKING CORRECTLY. |
| 301 | INDEED, THERE ISN'T. |
| 302 | I SHOULD REALLY GET BACK TO WORK. |
| 303 | OTHERWISE SOMEONE MIGHT GET |
| 304 | WHAT THEY ORDERED. |
| 305 | Joey: OOH, WELL! |
| 306 | OH, HO, HO, THE HAIR COMES OUT AND THE GLOVES COME OFF. |
| 307 | ( general arguing ) |
| 308 | DID YOU EVER GO OUT WITH A GUY |
| 309 | YOUR FRIENDS ALL REALLY LIKED? |
| 310 | NO. |
| 311 | OKAY. WELL, I'M GOING OUT |
| 312 | WITH A GUY MY FRIENDS ALL REALLY LIKE. |
| 313 | WERE WE TALKING ABOUT THE COYOTES HERE? |
| 314 | ALL RIGHT! |
| 315 | A COW GOT THROUGH! |
| 316 | CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? |
| 317 | IT'S JUST... YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 318 | I JUST DON'T FEEL THE THING. |
| 319 | I MEAN, THEY FEEL THE THING, I DON'T FEEL THE THING. |
| 320 | HONEY, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS FEEL THE THING. |
| 321 | IF THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THE GUY, DUMP HIM. |
| 322 | I KNOW, IT'S JUST GOING TO BE REALLY HARD. |
| 323 | HE'S A BIG BOY, HE'LL GET OVER IT. |
| 324 | NO, HE'LL BE FINE. |
| 325 | IT'S THE OTHER FIVE I'M WORRIED ABOUT. |
| 326 | DON'T YOU RESPECT YOUR BODY? |
| 327 | DON'T YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'RE DOING? |
| 328 | I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU GUYS AND YOUR CANCER |
| 329 | AND YOUR EMPHYSEMA AND YOUR HEART DISEASE. |
| 330 | SMOKING IS COOL AND YOU KNOW IT. |
| 331 | CHANDLER... IT'S ALAN, HE WANTS TO SPEAK WITH YOU. |
| 332 | REALLY, HE DOES? |
| 333 | HEY, BUDDY, WHAT'S UP? |
| 334 | OH, SHE TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT, HUH? |
| 335 | WELL, YEAH, I HAVE ONE NOW AND THEN. |
| 336 | WELL, YEAH, NOW. |
| 337 | WELL, IT'S NOT THAT... |
| 338 | WELL, THAT'S TRUE. |
| 339 | GEE, YOU KNOW, NO ONE'S... |
| 340 | NO ONE'S EVER PUT IT LIKE THAT BEFORE. |
| 341 | SO, WELL, OKAY, THANKS. |
| 342 | GOD, HE'S GOOD. |
| 343 | IF ONLY HE WERE A WOMAN. |
| 344 | YEAH. |
| 345 | And Lamb Chop and Hush Puppy... |
| 346 | HOW OLD IS THAT SOCK? |
| 347 | IF I HAD A SOCK ON MY HAND FOR 30 YEARS |
| 348 | IT'D BE TALKING, TOO. |
| 349 | OKAY, I THINK IT'S TIME TO CHANGE |
| 350 | SOMEBODY'S NICOTINE PATCH. |
| 351 | HEY! |
| 352 | WHERE'S JOEY? |
| 353 | JOEY ATE MY LAST STICK OF GUM |
| 354 | SO I KILLED HIM. |
| 355 | DO YOU THINK THAT WAS WRONG? |
| 356 | HE'S ACROSS THE HALL. |
| 357 | THANKS. |
| 358 | THERE YOU GO. |
| 359 | OOH, I'M ALIVE WITH PLEASURE NOW. |
| 360 | HEY, PHOEBES, YOU GOING TO HAVE |
| 361 | THE REST OF THAT POP-TART? PHOEBES? |
| 362 | DOES ANYONE WANT THE REST OF THIS POP-TART? |
| 363 | HEY, I MIGHT. |
| 364 | SORRY. |
| 365 | YOU KNOW, THOSE STUPID SODA PEOPLE GAVE ME |
| 366 | $7,000 FOR THE THUMB. |
| 367 | $7,000? |
| 368 | AND ON MY WAY OVER HERE |
| 369 | I STEPPED IN GUM. |
| 370 | WHAT IS UP WITH THE UNIVERSE? |
| 371 | WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 372 | NOTHING, I JUST THINK IT'S NICE |
| 373 | WHEN WE'RE ALL HERE TOGETHER. |
| 374 | NICER WHEN EVERYONE GETS TO WEAR THEIR UNDERWEAR. |
| 375 | UH, JOEY. |
| 376 | OH. |
| 377 | OH, OKAY. |
| 378 | ( protestations ) |
| 379 | PLEASE, GUYS |
| 380 | WE HAVE TO TALK. |
| 381 | WAIT, WAIT. |
| 382 | I'M GETTING A DEJA VU. |
| 383 | NO, I'M NOT. |
| 384 | ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE TO TALK. |
| 385 | THERE IT IS! |
| 386 | OKAY, IT'S ABOUT ALAN. |
| 387 | THERE'S SOMETHING |
| 388 | THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW. |
| 389 | I MEAN, THERE'S REALLY NO EASY WAY TO SAY THIS. |
| 390 | I'VE DECIDED TO BREAK UP WITH ALAN. |
| 391 | IS THERE SOMEBODY ELSE? |
| 392 | NO, NO, NO, NO, IT'S JUST... |
| 393 | YOU KNOW, THINGS CHANGE, PEOPLE CHANGE. |
| 394 | WE DIDN'T CHANGE. |
| 395 | SO THAT'S IT? IT'S OVER? |
| 396 | JUST LIKE THAT? |
| 397 | YOU KNOW, YOU LET YOUR GUARD DOWN |
| 398 | YOU KNOW, YOU START TO REALLY CARE ABOUT SOMEONE |
| 399 | AND I JUST... I... |
| 400 | LOOK, I CAN GO ON PRETENDING... |
| 401 | OKAY. |
| 402 | NO. |
| 403 | IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR TO ALAN, OR TO YOU. |
| 404 | YEAH, WELL, WHO WANTS FAIR? |
| 405 | I MEAN, I JUST WANT THINGS BACK |
| 406 | YOU KNOW, THE WAY THEY WERE. |
| 407 | I'M SORRY. |
| 408 | OH, SHE'S SORRY. |
| 409 | I FEEL BETTER. |
| 410 | I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. |
| 411 | I MEAN, WITH THE HOLIDAYS COMING UP. |
| 412 | I WANTED HIM TO MEET MY FAMILY. |
| 413 | I'LL MEET SOMEONE ELSE. |
| 414 | THERE'LL BE OTHER ALANS. |
| 415 | OH, YEAH, RIGHT. |
| 416 | WILL YOU GUYS BE OKAY? |
| 417 | HEY, HEY, WE'LL BE FINE. |
| 418 | WE'RE JUST GOING TO NEED A LITTLE TIME. |
| 419 | I UNDERSTAND. |
| 420 | WOW! |
| 421 | I'M REALLY SORRY. |
| 422 | YEAH. I'M SORRY, TOO. |
| 423 | BUT I GOT TO TELL YOU, I AM A LITTLE RELIEVED. |
| 424 | RELIEVED? |
| 425 | WELL, I MEAN, I HAD A GREAT TIME WITH YOU... |
| 426 | I JUST CAN'T STAND YOUR FRIENDS. |
| 427 | REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT TO CENTRAL PARK AND RENTED BOATS? |
| 428 | THAT WAS FUN. |
| 429 | YEAH. |
| 430 | HE COULD ROW LIKE A VIKING. |
| 431 | HI. |
| 432 | ( all mumble ) |
| 433 | SO HOW DID IT GO? |
| 434 | UH... YOU KNOW. |
| 435 | DID... DID HE MENTION US? |
| 436 | HE SAYS HE'S REALLY GOING TO MISS YOU GUYS. |
| 437 | ( sighing ) |
| 438 | YOU HAD A ROUGH DAY, HUH? |
| 439 | YOU HAVE NO IDEA. |
| 440 | COME HERE. |
| 441 | THAT'S IT, I'M GETTING CIGARETTES. |
| 442 | All: NO, NO, NO! |
| 443 | I DON'T CARE. |
| 444 | GAME'S OVER, I'M WEAK. |
| 445 | I MUST HAVE THE SMOKE. |
| 446 | Phoebe: IF YOU NEVER SMOKE AGAIN |
| 447 | I'LL GIVE YOU $7,000. |
| 448 | YEAH, ALL RIGHT. |
| 449 | |
| 1 | OH, THAT'S GOOD. |
| 2 | ALL RIGHT, PHOEBE. |
| 3 | OKAY. IF I WERE OMNIPOTENT FOR A DAY |
| 4 | I WOULD WANT, UM, WORLD PEACE, |
| 5 | NO MORE HUNGER, |
| 6 | GOOD THINGS FOR THE RAIN FOREST. |
| 7 | ...AND BIGGER BOOBS. |
| 8 | WELL, SEE. YOU TOOK MINE. |
| 9 | CHANDLER WHAT ABOUT YOU? |
| 10 | IF I WERE OMNIPOTENT FOR A DAY |
| 11 | I'D MAKE MYSELF OMNIPOTENT FOREVER. |
| 12 | SEE, THERE'S ALWAYS ONE GUY. |
| 13 | "IF I HAD A WISH |
| 14 | "I'D WISH FOR THREE MORE WISHES." |
| 15 | HEY, JOEY |
| 16 | WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE OMNIPOTENT? |
| 17 | PROBABLY KILL MYSELF. |
| 18 | EXCUSE ME? |
| 19 | HEY, IF LITTLE JOEY'S DEAD |
| 20 | THEN I GOT NO REASON TO LIVE. |
| 21 | JOEY, UH... |
| 22 | OM NIPOTENT. |
| 23 | YOU ARE? |
| 24 | ROSS, I'M SORRY. |
| 25 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 26 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 27 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 28 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 29 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 30 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 31 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 32 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 33 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 34 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 35 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 36 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 37 | HOW DOES SHE DO THAT? |
| 38 | I CANNOT SLEEP IN A PUBLIC PLACE. |
| 39 | WOULD YOU LOOK AT HER? |
| 40 | SHE'S SO PEACEFUL. |
| 41 | ( stirs ) ( screams ) |
| 42 | WHAT? WHAT? |
| 43 | HI. |
| 44 | IT'S OKAY, YOU KNOW. YOU JUST NODDED OFF AGAIN. |
| 45 | WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 46 | I GOT NO SLEEP LAST NIGHT. |
| 47 | MY GRANDMOTHER HAS THIS NEW BOYFRIEND |
| 48 | AND THEY'RE BOTH KIND OF INSECURE IN BED. |
| 49 | AND DEAF. |
| 50 | THEY'RE CONSTANTLY REASSURING EACH OTHER |
| 51 | THAT THEY'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME. |
| 52 | YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LOUD THEY ARE. |
| 53 | WELL, IF YOU WANT YOU CAN STAY WITH RACHEL AND ME TONIGHT. |
| 54 | THANKS. |
| 55 | ...95, 96, 97. |
| 56 | SEE, I TOLD YOU. |
| 57 | LESS THAN 100 STEPS FROM OUR PLACE TO HERE. |
| 58 | YOU GOT TOO MUCH FREE TIME. |
| 59 | HEY, THERE'S THE BIRTHDAY BOY. |
| 60 | ROSS, CHECK IT OUT. |
| 61 | HOCKEY TICKETS, RANGERS-PENGUINS |
| 62 | AND WE'RE TAKING YOU. |
| 63 | HAPPY BIRTHDAY. |
| 64 | WE LOVE YOU, MAN. |
| 65 | THAT'S FUNNY. |
| 66 | MY BIRTHDAY WAS SEVEN MONTHS AGO. |
| 67 | SO? |
| 68 | SO, I'M GUESSING YOU HAD AN EXTRA TICKET |
| 69 | AND COULDN'T DECIDE WHO GOT TO BRING A DATE. |
| 70 | WELL, AREN'T WE MR. THE-GLASS-IS-HALF-EMPTY? |
| 71 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 72 | OH. IS TODAY THE 20th, OCTOBER 20th? |
| 73 | I WAS HOPING YOU WOULDN'T REMEMBER. |
| 74 | ( groans ) |
| 75 | WHAT'S WITH THE 20th? |
| 76 | 11 DAYS BEFORE HALLOWEEN-- |
| 77 | ALL THE GOOD COSTUMES ARE GONE? |
| 78 | TODAY'S THE DAY CAROL AND I FIRST... |
| 79 | CONSUMMATED OUR... |
| 80 | PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP. |
| 81 | WITH SEX. |
| 82 | YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 83 | I'D BETTER PASS ON THE GAME. |
| 84 | I THINK I'LL GO HOME AND THINK ABOUT MY EX-WIFE |
| 85 | AND HER LESBIAN LOVER. |
| 86 | TO HELL WITH HOCKEY. LET'S ALL DO THAT. |
| 87 | COME ON, ROSS. |
| 88 | YOU, ME, JOEY, |
| 89 | ICE, GUYS NIGHT OUT. |
| 90 | WHAT DO YOU SAY, BIG GUY? HUH? |
| 91 | HUH? HUH? |
| 92 | WHAT ARE YOU DOING? |
| 93 | I HAVE NO IDEA. |
| 94 | COME ON, ROSS. |
| 95 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 96 | MAYBE IT WILL TAKE MY MIND OFF IT. |
| 97 | WILL YOU BUY ME A BIG FOAM FINGER? |
| 98 | YOU GOT IT. |
| 99 | LOOK. LOOK. LOOK. |
| 100 | MY FIRST PAYCHECK. |
| 101 | ( cheering ) |
| 102 | LOOK. |
| 103 | THERE'S MY NAME. |
| 104 | HI, ME. |
| 105 | I REMEMBER THE DAY |
| 106 | I GOT MY FIRST PAYCHECK. |
| 107 | THERE WAS A CAVE-IN IN THE MINES. |
| 108 | EIGHT PEOPLE WERE KILLED. |
| 109 | WOW. YOU WORKED IN A MINE? |
| 110 | NO. I WORKED AT A DAIRY QUEEN. WHY? |
| 111 | OH! ISN'T THIS EXCITING? |
| 112 | I EARNED THIS. |
| 113 | I WIPED TABLES FOR IT. |
| 114 | I STEAMED MILK FOR IT. |
| 115 | AND IT WAS TOTALLY... |
| 116 | NOT WORTH IT. |
| 117 | WHO'S "FICA"? |
| 118 | WHY'S HE GETTING ALL MY MONEY? |
| 119 | I MEAN, WHAT..? |
| 120 | CHANDLER, LOOK AT THAT. |
| 121 | OH. THIS IS NOT THAT BAD. |
| 122 | OH. YOU'RE FINE FOR A FIRST JOB. |
| 123 | Ross: YOU CAN TOTALLY, |
| 124 | TOTALLY LIVE ON THIS. |
| 125 | Phoebe: YEAH. |
| 126 | HEY, BY THE WAY, GREAT SERVICE TODAY. |
| 127 | All: YEAH. |
| 128 | All: HOCKEY! |
| 129 | Guys: HOCKEY! |
| 130 | RACHEL? |
| 131 | ( gasps ): OH, MY GOD! |
| 132 | ( screaming ) |
| 133 | I'VE SEEN BIRDS DO THIS |
| 134 | ON WILD KINGDOM. |
| 135 | WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE? |
| 136 | WELL, WE WERE IN THE CITY SHOPPING |
| 137 | AND YOUR MOM SAID YOU WORK HERE |
| 138 | AND IT'S TRUE! |
| 139 | LOOK AT YOU. |
| 140 | YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE IN A PLAY. |
| 141 | GOD, LOOK AT YOU. |
| 142 | YOU ARE SO BIG. |
| 143 | I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. |
| 144 | I KNOW. I KNOW. |
| 145 | I'M A DUPLEX. |
| 146 | SO WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU? |
| 147 | WELL, GUESS WHO MY DAD'S MAKING |
| 148 | PARTNER IN HIS FIRM? |
| 149 | ( screaming ) |
| 150 | AND WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT OF NEWS... |
| 151 | ( screaming ) |
| 152 | LOOK. LOOK. I HAVE ELBOWS. |
| 153 | ( screaming ) |
| 154 | McTAVISH CROSSES THE BLUE LINE |
| 155 | PASSES TO LEECH |
| 156 | LEECH SPOTS MESSIER IN THE CREASE. |
| 157 | HERE'S THE PASS... |
| 158 | WE'LL TAKE A TIME OUT |
| 159 | WHILE MESSIER STOPS TO LOOK AT WOMEN'S SHOES. |
| 160 | CAROL WAS WEARING BOOTS JUST LIKE THOSE |
| 161 | THE NIGHT THAT WE... |
| 162 | WE FIRST, YOU KNOW... |
| 163 | IN FACT, SHE, UH, NEVER TOOK THEM OFF. |
| 164 | ( laughs ) |
| 165 | SORRY. |
| 166 | I CAN'T BELIEVE KEENAN... |
| 167 | ( groans ) |
| 168 | WHAT? |
| 169 | PEACH PIT. |
| 170 | YES, BUNNY? |
| 171 | PEACH PIT. |
| 172 | THAT NIGHT WE, UH, WE HAD... |
| 173 | PEACHES? |
| 174 | ACTUALLY, NECTARINES. |
| 175 | BUT, BASICALLY... |
| 176 | COULD HAVE BEEN A PEACH. |
| 177 | THEN WE, UH... THEN WE GOT DRESSED |
| 178 | AND I WALKED HER TO THE... |
| 179 | THE BUS STOP. |
| 180 | ( sighs ) |
| 181 | I'M FINE. |
| 182 | HEY, THAT WOMAN'S GOT AN ASS LIKE CAROL'S. |
| 183 | WHAT? |
| 184 | I THOUGHT WE WERE TRYING TO FIND STUFF. |
| 185 | COME ON, YOU GUYS, TELL ME ALL THE DIRT. |
| 186 | WELL, THE BIGGEST NEWS IS STILL YOU DUMPING BARRY |
| 187 | AT THE ALTAR. |
| 188 | ALL RIGHT, LET'S TALK REALITY FOR A SECOND. |
| 189 | WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME? |
| 190 | WHAT... I'M NOT. |
| 191 | COME ON, THIS IS US. |
| 192 | I'M NOT. |
| 193 | THIS IS WHAT I'M DOING NOW. |
| 194 | I'VE GOT THIS JOB... |
| 195 | WAITRESSING? |
| 196 | I'M NOT JUST WAITRESSING. |
| 197 | I MEAN... I, UM... |
| 198 | I WRITE THE SPECIALS ON THE SPECIALS BOARD |
| 199 | AND I... I, UH... |
| 200 | I TAKE THE DEAD FLOWERS OUT OF THE VASE. |
| 201 | OH, AND SOMETIMES ARTURO |
| 202 | LETS ME PUT THE CHOCOLATE BLOBBIES ON THE COOKIES. |
| 203 | WELL, YOUR MOM DIDN'T TELL US ABOUT THE BLOBBIES. |
| 204 | Monica: HOW WAS IT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? |
| 205 | ( screaming ) |
| 206 | OKAY, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TIKI DEATH PUNCH? |
| 207 | WHAT'S THAT? |
| 208 | WELL, IT'S RUM AND... |
| 209 | OKAY. |
| 210 | WE THOUGHT WE'D HAVE KIND OF A SLUMBER PARTY THING. |
| 211 | WE GOT SOME TRASHY MAGAZINES. |
| 212 | WE GOT COOKIE DOUGH, WE GOT "TWISTER"... |
| 213 | ( phone ringing ) |
| 214 | OH, AND I BROUGHT "OPERATION" |
| 215 | BUT I LOST THE TWEEZERS SO WE CAN'T OPERATE. |
| 216 | BUT WE CAN PREP THE GUY. |
| 217 | RACH, IT'S THE VISA CARD PEOPLE. |
| 218 | OH, GOD, ASK THEM WHAT THEY WANT. |
| 219 | COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THIS IS IN REFERENCE TO? |
| 220 | YES... THEY SAY THERE'S BEEN SOME UNUSUAL ACTIVITY |
| 221 | ON YOUR ACCOUNT. |
| 222 | BUT I HAVEN'T USED MY CARD IN WEEKS. |
| 223 | THAT IS THE UNUSUAL ACTIVITY. |
| 224 | LOOK, THEY JUST WANT TO SEE IF YOU'RE OKAY. |
| 225 | THEY WANT TO KNOW IF I'M OKAY. |
| 226 | OKAY, THEY WANT TO KNOW IF I'M OKAY. |
| 227 | OKAY, LET'S SEE... |
| 228 | WELL, THE FICA GUYS TOOK ALL MY MONEY. |
| 229 | EVERYONE I KNOW IS EITHER GETTING MARRIED |
| 230 | OR GETTING PREGNANT OR GETTING PROMOTED |
| 231 | AND I'M GETTING COFFEE, AND IT'S NOT EVEN FOR ME. |
| 232 | SO IF THAT SOUNDS LIKE I'M OKAY |
| 233 | THEN YOU CAN TELL THEM I'M OKAY. OKAY? |
| 234 | UH, RACHEL HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. |
| 235 | CAN YOU CALL BACK? |
| 236 | ALL RIGHT, COME ON... |
| 237 | LET'S PLAY "TWISTER." |
| 238 | SORRY... SORRY... SORRY. |
| 239 | UH-OH. |
| 240 | WHAT? |
| 241 | THERE WAS ICE THERE THAT NIGHT WITH CAROL? |
| 242 | PLASTIC SEATS? |
| 243 | 4,000 ANGRY PITTSBURGH FANS? |
| 244 | NO, ACTUALLY, I WAS JUST SAYING |
| 245 | LOOKS LIKE WE'RE NOT SITTING TOGETHER. |
| 246 | BUT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, THERE WAS ICE THERE THAT NIGHT. |
| 247 | IT WAS THE FIRST FROST. |
| 248 | WE WERE... |
| 249 | SIT, SIT... SIT DOWN, SIT. |
| 250 | YOU SHOULD FEEL GREAT. |
| 251 | YOU'RE DOING THIS AMAZING INDEPENDENT THING. |
| 252 | MONICA, WHAT IS SO AMAZING? |
| 253 | I GAVE UP, LIKE, EVERYTHING. |
| 254 | AND FOR WHAT? |
| 255 | YOU ARE JUST LIKE JACK. |
| 256 | JACK FROM DOWNSTAIRS? |
| 257 | NO, JACK AND THE BEANSTALK. |
| 258 | AH, THE OTHER JACK. |
| 259 | YEAH, RIGHT. |
| 260 | SEE, HE GAVE UP SOMETHING |
| 261 | BUT THEN HE GOT THOSE MAGIC BEANS |
| 262 | AND THEN HE WOKE UP |
| 263 | AND THERE WAS THIS BIG PLANT OUTSIDE OF HIS WINDOW |
| 264 | FULL OF POSSIBILITIES AND STUFF |
| 265 | AND HE LIVED IN A VILLAGE, AND YOU LIVE IN THE VILLAGE... |
| 266 | OKAY, BUT PHEEBS, PHEEBS... |
| 267 | JACK GAVE UP A COW. |
| 268 | I GAVE UP AN ORTHODONTIST. |
| 269 | I KNOW I DIDN'T LOVE HIM. |
| 270 | SEE, JACK DID LOVE THE COW. |
| 271 | BUT, SEE, IT WAS A PLAN. |
| 272 | IT WAS CLEAR. |
| 273 | EVERYTHING WAS FIGURED OUT |
| 274 | AND NOW EVERYTHING'S KIND OF LIKE... |
| 275 | FLOOPY? |
| 276 | YEAH. |
| 277 | YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE. |
| 278 | HALF THE TIME, WE DON'T KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING. |
| 279 | AT SOME POINT, IT'S ALL GOING TO COME TOGETHER |
| 280 | AND IT'S JUST GOING TO BE... UN-FLOOPY. |
| 281 | LIKE THAT'S A WORD. |
| 282 | BUT MONICA, WHAT IF IT DOESN'T COME TOGETHER? |
| 283 | PHEEBS? |
| 284 | WELL, CAUSE YOU JUST LIKE... I DON'T LIKE THIS QUESTION. |
| 285 | OKAY, SEE, SEE, YOU GUYS-- |
| 286 | WHAT IF WE DON'T GET MAGIC BEANS? |
| 287 | WHAT IF ALL WE'VE GOT ARE... BEANS? |
| 288 | Ross: GET HIM, GET HIM. |
| 289 | GET HIM, GET HIM. |
| 290 | YES! |
| 291 | YOU'RE NOT LAUGHING NOW, |
| 292 | ARE YOU, PAL? |
| 293 | THAT'S ALL YOU NEEDED-- |
| 294 | TOOTHLESS GUYS HITTING EACH OTHER. |
| 295 | WELL, PASS IT! |
| 296 | PASS IT. |
| 297 | Joey: HE'S OPEN. |
| 298 | SHOOT IT! |
| 299 | SHOOT IT! |
| 300 | SHOOT IT! |
| 301 | OHH... |
| 302 | HEY, LOOK, WE'RE ON THAT TV THING. |
| 303 | HEY, LOOK AT THAT, HEY! |
| 304 | EXCUSE ME. |
| 305 | IT SAYS TO CALL THIS NUMBER |
| 306 | IF YOU'RE NOT COMPLETELY SATISFIED |
| 307 | WITH THIS CANDY BAR. |
| 308 | WELL, I'M NOT COMPLETELY SATISFIED. |
| 309 | LISTEN, IT'S KIND OF AN EMERGENCY. |
| 310 | WELL, I GUESS YOU'D KNOW THAT |
| 311 | OR WE'D BE IN THE PREDICAMENT ROOM. |
| 312 | ( laughing ) |
| 313 | HOLD ON. FILL THESE OUT. SIT OVER THERE. |
| 314 | LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO MAKE ANY TROUBLE |
| 315 | BUT I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN. |
| 316 | MY FACE IS DENTED. |
| 317 | YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT YOUR TURN. |
| 318 | HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT'LL BE? |
| 319 | ANY MINUTE NOW. |
| 320 | HEY, MISS... |
| 321 | UH... |
| 322 | OH... |
| 323 | I'M SO SORRY, YOU GUYS. |
| 324 | I DIDN'T MEAN TO BRING YOU DOWN. |
| 325 | NO, YOU WERE RIGHT-- I DON'T HAVE A PLAN. |
| 326 | ( knocking at door ) |
| 327 | PIZZA GUY! |
| 328 | OH, THANK GOD. |
| 329 | FOOD! |
| 330 | PHOEBE? |
| 331 | WHAT? |
| 332 | DO YOU HAVE A PLAN? |
| 333 | I DON'T EVEN HAVE A "PLA." |
| 334 | HI. ONE MUSHROOM, GREEN PEPPER AND ONION? |
| 335 | NO, NO... NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT WE ORDERED! |
| 336 | WE ORDERED A FAT-FREE CRUST WITH EXTRA CHEESE! |
| 337 | WAIT. YOU'RE NOT G. STEPHANOPOULOS? |
| 338 | MAN, MY DAD'S GOING TO KILL ME! |
| 339 | WAIT! DID YOU SAY G. STEPHANOPOULOS? |
| 340 | YEAH. THIS ONE GOES ACROSS THE STREET. |
| 341 | I MUST HAVE GIVEN HIM YOURS. |
| 342 | BONEHEAD! BONEHEAD! |
| 343 | IS THIS A SMALL MEDITERRANEAN GUY |
| 344 | WITH CURIOUSLY INTELLIGENT GOOD LOOKS? |
| 345 | YEAH. THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT. |
| 346 | WAS HE... WAS HE WEARING A STUNNING BLUE SUIT? |
| 347 | AND A POWER TIE? |
| 348 | NO. PRETTY MUCH JUST A TOWEL. |
| 349 | OH, GOD. |
| 350 | SO YOU GUYS WANT ME TO TAKE THIS BACK? |
| 351 | WHAT? ARE YOU NUTS? |
| 352 | WE'VE GOT GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS' PIZZA! |
| 353 | HERE. |
| 354 | UH, PHEEBS... |
| 355 | WHO IS GEORGE SNUFFLEUPAGUS? |
| 356 | THAT'S BIG BIRD'S FRIEND. |
| 357 | I SEE PIZZA! |
| 358 | I WANT TO SEE! LET ME SEE! |
| 359 | HELLO? WHO ARE WE SPYING ON? |
| 360 | YOU KNOW THE WHITE HOUSE ADVISOR? |
| 361 | CLINTON'S CAMPAIGN GUY |
| 362 | WITH GREAT HAIR, SEXY SMILE... REALLY CUTE BUTT? |
| 363 | OH, HIM! THE LITTLE GUY! |
| 364 | OH, I LOVE HIM! |
| 365 | UH, WAIT. |
| 366 | WAIT. I SEE A WOMAN. |
| 367 | TELL ME IT'S HIS MOTHER. |
| 368 | IT'S DEFINITELY NOT HIS MOTHER. |
| 369 | OH, NO... |
| 370 | WAIT. SHE'S WALKING ACROSS THE FLOOR. |
| 371 | SHE'S WALKING... SHE'S WALKING... |
| 372 | SHE'S GOING FOR THE PIZZA... |
| 373 | HEY, THAT'S NOT FOR YOU, BITCH! |
| 374 | EXCUSE ME. WE'VE BEEN HERE OVER AN HOUR |
| 375 | AND PEOPLE LESS SICK THAN MY FRIEND HAVE GONE IN. |
| 376 | I MEAN, THAT GUY WITH THE TOE THING? |
| 377 | WHO'S HE SLEEPING WITH? |
| 378 | OH, COME ON, DORA, DON'T BE MAD. |
| 379 | I KNOW WE BOTH SAID SOME THINGS WE... |
| 380 | DIDN'T MEAN, BUT... |
| 381 | THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE STILL DON'T LOVE EACH OTHER. |
| 382 | YOU KNOW, I... I FEEL LIKE I'VE LOST HER. |
| 383 | BAH! |
| 384 | LIGHTS STILL OUT? |
| 385 | YEAH. |
| 386 | WELL, MAYBE THEY'RE NAPPING. |
| 387 | OH, PLEASE. |
| 388 | THEY'RE HAVING SEX. |
| 389 | Both: SHUT UP! |
| 390 | SO... WHAT DO YOU THINK GEORGE IS LIKE? |
| 391 | I THINK HE'S SHY. |
| 392 | YEAH? |
| 393 | I THINK YOU HAVE TO DRAW HIM OUT, AND THEN... |
| 394 | WHEN YOU DO, HE'S A PREPPY ANIMAL. |
| 395 | I REMEMBER THE MOONLIGHT |
| 396 | COMING IN THROUGH THE OPEN WINDOW. |
| 397 | HER FACE HAD THE MOST |
| 398 | INCREDIBLE GLOW. |
| 399 | YES, THE MOON, THE GLOW, THE MAGICAL FEELING. |
| 400 | YOU DID THIS PART. |
| 401 | COULD I GET SOME PAINKILLERS OVER HERE, PLEASE? |
| 402 | HE'S RIGHT. ENOUGH ALREADY. |
| 403 | WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL ABOUT TODAY? |
| 404 | SO YOU SLEPT WITH HER FOR THE FIRST TIME-- SO WHAT? |
| 405 | YOU SLEPT WITH HER FOR SEVEN YEARS AFTER THAT. |
| 406 | IT'S JUST A LITTLE MORE COMPLICATED. |
| 407 | IS IT THAT SHE LEFT YOU, THAT SHE LIKES WOMEN |
| 408 | THAT SHE LEFT YOU FOR ANOTHER WOMAN THAT LIKES WOMEN? |
| 409 | A LITTLE LOUDER, OKAY? |
| 410 | THERE'S A MAN ON THE 12th FLOOR IN A COMA |
| 411 | WHO DIDN'T QUITE HEAR YOU. |
| 412 | THEN WHAT? |
| 413 | MY FIRST TIME WITH CAROL WAS... |
| 414 | ( mumbling ): MY FIRST TIME. |
| 415 | WHAT? |
| 416 | ( louder ): IT WAS MY FIRST... TIME. |
| 417 | WITH CAROL? |
| 418 | OH... |
| 419 | SO IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE |
| 420 | YOU'VE ONLY BEEN WITH ONE... OH. |
| 421 | WHOA, BOY, HOCKEY WAS A BIG MISTAKE. |
| 422 | THERE'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF WE COULD HAVE DONE TONIGHT. |
| 423 | OKAY, I GOT ONE. |
| 424 | DO YOU REMEMBER THAT VEGETARIAN PATE THAT I MADE |
| 425 | THAT YOU LOVED SO MUCH? |
| 426 | UH-HUH. |
| 427 | ( chuckling ) |
| 428 | WELL, UNLESS GOOSE IS A VEGETABLE... |
| 429 | OH! OH! |
| 430 | OKAY, FINE, FINE. |
| 431 | NOW I DON'T FEEL SO BAD ABOUT SLEEPING WITH JASON HURLEY. |
| 432 | WHAT?! YOU SLEPT WITH JASON? |
| 433 | YOU'D ALREADY BROKEN UP. |
| 434 | HOW LONG? |
| 435 | JUST A COUPLE HOURS. |
| 436 | OH, THAT'S NICE. |
| 437 | OKAY, OKAY, I GOT ONE. |
| 438 | ANYWAY, THE VALENTINE TOMMY ROLLERSON LEFT IN YOUR LOCKER |
| 439 | WAS REALLY FROM ME! |
| 440 | EXCUSE ME? |
| 441 | OH, HELLO? LIKE HE WAS REALLY GOING TO SEND YOU ONE. |
| 442 | SHE WAS A BIG GIRL. |
| 443 | REALLY? WELL, AT LEAST BIG GIRLS |
| 444 | DON'T PEE IN THEIR PANTS IN SEVENTH GRADE. |
| 445 | I WAS LAUGHING! |
| 446 | YOU MADE ME LAUGH! |
| 447 | ( both arguing ) |
| 448 | THERE HE IS! |
| 449 | WHERE? |
| 450 | RIGHT WHERE WE'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL NIGHT. |
| 451 | OH, HE'S SO CUTE. |
| 452 | OH, GEORGE, BABY, DROP THE TOWEL! |
| 453 | DROP THE TOWEL. DROP THE TOWEL. |
| 454 | WOW! WOW! WOW! |
| 455 | MAN, CAN YOU BELIEVE HE'S ONLY HAD SEX |
| 456 | WITH ONE WOMAN? |
| 457 | I THINK IT'S GREAT. |
| 458 | YOU KNOW, IT'S SWEET, IT'S ROMANTIC... |
| 459 | REALLY? |
| 460 | NAH. YOU KIDDING? THE GUY'S A FREAK. |
| 461 | HEY! HEY, BUDDY! |
| 462 | HUH? HUH? |
| 463 | OH... THAT'S ATTRACTIVE. |
| 464 | OH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GREAT IN THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. |
| 465 | OH, COME ON, ADMIT IT-- YOU HAD FUN TONIGHT. |
| 466 | FUN? WHERE WAS THE FUN? |
| 467 | TELL ME SPECIFICALLY WHICH PART WAS THE FUN PART? |
| 468 | WHERE'S MY PUCK? |
| 469 | OH, THE KID HAS IT. |
| 470 | THE KID? |
| 471 | EXCUSE ME. THAT'S... THAT'S MY PUCK. |
| 472 | I FOUND IT. |
| 473 | FINDERS KEEPERS, LOSERS WEEPERS. |
| 474 | YOU GOT TO DO IT, MAN. |
| 475 | OH, YEAH? WELL, I'M RUBBER, YOU'RE GLUE. |
| 476 | WHATEVER YOU... NAH. |
| 477 | LISTEN, UH... GIVE ME BACK MY PUCK. |
| 478 | NO. |
| 479 | YES. HOW ABOUT? |
| 480 | NO! NO! |
| 481 | GIVE ME MY PUCK... |
| 482 | HEY! NO ROUGHHOUSING IN MY E.R.! |
| 483 | GIVE ME MY PUCK! |
| 484 | NOW, THAT WAS FUN. |
| 485 | OKAY, MONICA, "RIGHT FOOT RED." |
| 486 | WE COULD HAVE PLAYED MONOPOLY, BUT NO... |
| 487 | ( knock at door ) |
| 488 | THANKS. |
| 489 | OKAY, PHEEBS, "RIGHT HAND BLUE." |
| 490 | GOOD. |
| 491 | ( phone rings ) |
| 492 | HELLO? |
| 493 | OH, UH, RACHEL, IT'S THE VISA CARD PEOPLE. |
| 494 | WILL YOU TAKE MY PLACE? |
| 495 | ALL RIGHT. YES, THIS IS RACHEL. |
| 496 | NO! |
| 497 | HELLO? OH, YEAH, I KNOW. |
| 498 | I HAVEN'T BEEN USING IT MUCH. |
| 499 | OH! WELL, THANKS, BUT I'M OKAY, REALLY. |
| 500 | TO THE GRAY, TO THE GRAY. |
| 501 | I'VE GOT MAGIC BEANS. |
| 502 | NO, NO, NEVER... NEVER MIND. |
| 503 | ( all yelling ) |
| 504 | I'M FINE. |
| 505 | |
| 1 | WILL YOU LET IT GO? |
| 2 | IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL. |
| 3 | IT'S AMAZING, OKAY? |
| 4 | YOU JUST REACH IN THERE |
| 5 | THERE'S ONE LITTLE MANEUVER |
| 6 | AND BAM, A BRA, RIGHT OUT THE SLEEVE. |
| 7 | AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED |
| 8 | THERE IS NOTHING A GUY CAN DO THAT EVEN COMES CLOSE. |
| 9 | Rachel: OH, COME ON! |
| 10 | YOU GUYS CAN PEE STANDING UP. |
| 11 | WE CAN? OKAY, I'M TRYING THAT. |
| 12 | YOU KNOW WHAT BLOWS MY MIND? |
| 13 | WOMEN CAN SEE BREASTS ANYTIME THEY WANT. |
| 14 | YOU JUST LOOK DOWN, AND THERE THEY ARE. |
| 15 | HOW YOU GET ANY WORK DONE IS BEYOND ME. |
| 16 | OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T GET? |
| 17 | THE WAY GUYS CAN DO SO MANY MEAN THINGS |
| 18 | AND THEN NOT EVEN CARE. |
| 19 | MULTIPLE ORGASMS. |
| 20 | Joey: THERE YOU GO. |
| 21 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 22 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 23 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 24 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 25 | ♪ WHEN IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 26 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 27 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 28 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 29 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 30 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 31 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 32 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO ♪ |
| 33 | SO, SATURDAY NIGHT, THE BIG NIGHT |
| 34 | DATE NIGHT, SATURDAY NIGHT, SA-TUR-DAY NIGHT! |
| 35 | NO PLANS, HUH? |
| 36 | NOT A ONE. |
| 37 | NOT EVEN, SAY, BREAKING UP WITH JANICE? |
| 38 | OH, RIGHT, RIGHT. |
| 39 | SHUT UP. |
| 40 | CHANDLER, NOBODY LIKES BREAKING UP WITH SOMEONE. |
| 41 | YOU JUST GOT TO DO IT. |
| 42 | I KNOW, BUT IT'S JUST SO HARD, YOU KNOW? |
| 43 | I MEAN, YOU'RE SITTING THERE WITH HER. |
| 44 | SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT'S HAPPENING. |
| 45 | YOU FINALLY GET UP THE COURAGE TO DO IT |
| 46 | AND THERE'S THAT HORRIBLE AWKWARD MOMENT |
| 47 | WHEN YOU'VE HANDED HER THE NOTE... |
| 48 | WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH HER? |
| 49 | BE A MAN. |
| 50 | JUST STOP CALLING. |
| 51 | IF YOU WANT, I'LL DO IT WITH YOU. |
| 52 | I THINK SHE'D FEEL LIKE WE'RE GANGING UP ON HER. |
| 53 | NO, I MEAN, YOU BREAK UP WITH JANICE |
| 54 | AND I'LL BREAK UP WITH TONY. |
| 55 | YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH TONY? |
| 56 | YEAH, I KNOW HE'S SWEET, BUT IT'S JUST NOT FUN ANYMORE. |
| 57 | I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S ME OR HIS HUNGER STRIKE, OR... |
| 58 | DOES ANYBODY WANT ANYTHING ELSE? |
| 59 | OH, YEAH. |
| 60 | LAST WEEK YOU HAD A WONDERFUL |
| 61 | NUTTY, CHOCOLATY KIND OF A CAKEY PIE-THING... |
| 62 | NOTHING. JUST, JUST... I'M FINE. |
| 63 | WHAT'S THE MATTER? |
| 64 | WHY SO SCRUNCHY? |
| 65 | OH, IT'S MY FATHER. |
| 66 | HE WANTS TO GIVE ME A MERCEDES CONVERTIBLE. |
| 67 | THAT GUY... HE BURNS ME UP. |
| 68 | YEAH, WELL, IT'S A MERCEDES IF I MOVE BACK HOME. |
| 69 | UGH, IT'S HORRIBLE! |
| 70 | HE CALLED ME "YOUNG LADY." |
| 71 | I HATE WHEN MY FATHER CALLS ME THAT. |
| 72 | DID HE GIVE YOU |
| 73 | THAT "YOU'RE NOT UP TO THIS" THING AGAIN? |
| 74 | OH, YEAH. I ACTUALLY GOT THE EXTENDED DISCO VERSION |
| 75 | WITH THREE CHORUSES OF "YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN." |
| 76 | ♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH. ♪ |
| 77 | HI, JOEY. |
| 78 | OH, MY GOD-- ANGELA. |
| 79 | WOW. BEING DUMPED BY YOU OBVIOUSLY AGREES WITH HER. |
| 80 | ARE YOU GOING TO GO OVER THERE? |
| 81 | NO. YEAH. NO. |
| 82 | OKAY, BUT NOT YET. |
| 83 | I DON'T WANT TO SEEM TOO EAGER. |
| 84 | ONE-MISSISSIPPI, TWO-MISSISSIPPI |
| 85 | THREE-MISSISSIPPI... THAT SEEMS PRETTY COOL. |
| 86 | HEY, ANGELA. |
| 87 | JOEY. |
| 88 | YOU LOOK GOOD. |
| 89 | THAT'S 'CAUSE I'M WEARING A DRESS |
| 90 | THAT ACCENTS MY BOOBS. |
| 91 | YOU DON'T SAY. |
| 92 | SO, RACHEL WHAT ARE YOU... |
| 93 | WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT? |
| 94 | OH, BIG GLAMOUR NIGHT |
| 95 | ME AND MONICA AT LAUNDERAMA. |
| 96 | OH. YOU, UH... |
| 97 | YOU WANT TO HEAR A FREAKISH COINCIDENCE? |
| 98 | GUESS WHO'S DOING LAUNDRY THERE TOO? |
| 99 | WHO? |
| 100 | ME. |
| 101 | WAS THAT NOT CLEAR? |
| 102 | UH, HEY, WHY DON'T, UH... |
| 103 | WHY DON'T I JUST JOIN YOU... BOTH... THERE? |
| 104 | DON'T YOU HAVE A LAUNDRY ROOM IN YOUR BUILDING? |
| 105 | YES. |
| 106 | I DO HAVE A LAUNDRY ROOM IN MY BUILDING. |
| 107 | UH, BUT THERE'S A RAT PROBLEM. |
| 108 | THEY'RE ATTRACTED TO THE DRYER SHEETS |
| 109 | AND THEY'RE GOING IN FINE |
| 110 | BUT THEY'RE COMING OUT ALL... |
| 111 | FLUFFY. |
| 112 | ANYWAY, SAY, SEVEN-ISH? |
| 113 | SURE. |
| 114 | FORGET IT, JOEY. |
| 115 | I'M WITH BOB NOW. |
| 116 | BOB? MM-HMM. |
| 117 | WHO THE HELL'S BOB? |
| 118 | BOB IS GREAT. |
| 119 | HE'S SMART, HE'S SOPHISTICATED |
| 120 | AND HE HAS A REAL JOB. |
| 121 | YOU, YOU GO ON THREE AUDITIONS A MONTH |
| 122 | AND YOU CALL YOURSELF AN ACTOR |
| 123 | BUT BOB... |
| 124 | COME ON. |
| 125 | WE WERE GREAT TOGETHER |
| 126 | AND NOT JUST AT THE FUN STUFF |
| 127 | BUT, LIKE, TALKING TOO. |
| 128 | YEAH... |
| 129 | YEAH, WELL, SORRY, JOE. |
| 130 | YOU SAID "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS" |
| 131 | SO GUESS WHAT? |
| 132 | WHAT? |
| 133 | WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. |
| 134 | FINE. FINE. SO, WHY DON'T THE FOUR OF US |
| 135 | GO OUT AND HAVE DINNER TOGETHER TONIGHT-- |
| 136 | YOU KNOW, AS FRIENDS? |
| 137 | WHAT FOUR OF US? |
| 138 | WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU AND BOB |
| 139 | AND ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND, UH... UH... |
| 140 | MONICA. |
| 141 | I'M TELLING YOU |
| 142 | THIS GUY IS PERFECT FOR YOU. |
| 143 | FORGET IT. |
| 144 | NOT AFTER YOUR COUSIN |
| 145 | WHO COULD BELCH THE ALPHABET. |
| 146 | COME ON. |
| 147 | THIS GUY'S GREAT. |
| 148 | HIS NAME'S BOB. |
| 149 | HE'S ANGELA'S... BROTHER. |
| 150 | HE'S SMART, HE'S |
| 151 | SOPHISTICATED, AND HE HAS A REAL JOB. |
| 152 | ME, I GO ON THREE AUDITIONS A MONTH |
| 153 | AND CALL MYSELF AN ACTOR, BUT BOB IS... |
| 154 | OH, GOD HELP US. |
| 155 | WHAT? |
| 156 | UGLY NAKED GUYS LAYING KITCHEN TILE. |
| 157 | EEW! EEW! |
| 158 | LOOK, I'M ASKING A FAVOR HERE. |
| 159 | YOU KNOW, I'M THINKING |
| 160 | IF I DO THIS THING FOR HER BROTHER |
| 161 | MAYBE ANGELA WILL COME BACK TO ME. |
| 162 | WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? |
| 163 | YOU GO OUT WITH TONS OF GIRLS. |
| 164 | I KNOW, BUT... |
| 165 | LOOK, I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE. |
| 166 | I NEVER SHOULD HAVE BROKE UP WITH HER. |
| 167 | WILL YOU HELP ME? PLEASE? |
| 168 | OKAY. BYE. |
| 169 | WELL, MONICA'S NOT COMING. |
| 170 | IT'S JUST GOING TO BE ME AND RACHEL. |
| 171 | ( chuckling softly ) |
| 172 | WELL, HOLD ON THERE, CAMPER. |
| 173 | YOU SURE YOU'VE THOUGHT THIS THROUGH? |
| 174 | IT'S LAUNDRY. |
| 175 | THE THINKING THROUGH IS PRETTY MINIMAL. |
| 176 | SEE, IT'S JUST YOU AND RACHEL, JUST THE TWO OF YOU? |
| 177 | THIS IS A DATE. |
| 178 | YOU'RE GOING ON A DATE. |
| 179 | N'UH-UH. |
| 180 | Y'UH-HUH. |
| 181 | SO, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING HERE-- |
| 182 | I SHOULD SHAVE AGAIN, PICK UP SOME WINE? WHAT? |
| 183 | WELL, YOU, UH, MAY WANT |
| 184 | TO RETHINK THE DIRTY UNDERWEAR. |
| 185 | THIS IS BASICALLY THE FIRST TIME |
| 186 | SHE'S GOING TO SEE YOUR UNDERWEAR. |
| 187 | DO YOU WANT IT TO BE DIRTY? |
| 188 | NO. |
| 189 | OH, AND, UH, THE FABRIC SOFTENER? |
| 190 | OKAY, OKAY, NOW, WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY SNUGGLES? |
| 191 | IT, WHAT? IT SAYS I'M A SENSITIVE, WARM KIND OF GUY |
| 192 | YOU KNOW, LIKE A LITTLE FUZZY BEAR. |
| 193 | I CAN GET SOMETHING ELSE. |
| 194 | THERE YOU GO. |
| 195 | THANK YOU. |
| 196 | SO, WHAT DOES THIS BOB GUY LOOK LIKE? |
| 197 | IS HE TALL, SHORT? |
| 198 | YUP. |
| 199 | WHICH? |
| 200 | WHICH WHAT? |
| 201 | YOU'VE NEVER MET BOB, HAVE YOU? |
| 202 | NO, BUT HE'S... |
| 203 | OH, MY GOD, JOEY |
| 204 | THIS GUY COULD BE HORRIBLY... |
| 205 | HEY, JOEY! |
| 206 | HORRIBLY ATTRACTIVE. |
| 207 | I'LL BE SHUTTING UP NOW. |
| 208 | WHERE ARE THEY? |
| 209 | WHERE ARE THEY? |
| 210 | THIS IS NICE. |
| 211 | WE NEVER DO ANYTHING JUST THE TWO OF US. |
| 212 | IT'S GREAT. |
| 213 | MAYBE TOMORROW WE CAN RENT A CAR |
| 214 | RUN OVER SOME PUPPIES. |
| 215 | I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. |
| 216 | HERE WE GO. |
| 217 | OKAY, HAVE A GOOD BREAK-UP. |
| 218 | HEY, JANICE. |
| 219 | OH, MY GOD I AM SO GLAD |
| 220 | YOU CALLED ME. |
| 221 | I HAD THE MOST SUPREMELY AWFUL DAY. |
| 222 | HEY, THAT'S NOT GOOD. |
| 223 | CAN I GET AN ESPRESSO AND A LATTE OVER HERE, PLEASE? |
| 224 | WE GOT THE PROOFS BACK FROM THAT PHOTO SHOOT-- |
| 225 | THE ONE WITH THE LITTLE VEGETABLES-- |
| 226 | THEY PRETTY MUCH SUCKED |
| 227 | SO I BLEW OFF THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON. |
| 228 | I WENT SHOPPING, AND I GOT YOU... |
| 229 | I'M LOOKING, I'M LOOKING... |
| 230 | I'M LOOKING... |
| 231 | I GOT YOU... |
| 232 | WHAT?! |
| 233 | WHAT? |
| 234 | WHAT... DID YOU GET ME THERE? |
| 235 | I GOT YOU... |
| 236 | THESE. |
| 237 | BULLWINKLE SOCKS. |
| 238 | THAT'S SO SWEET. |
| 239 | I KNEW YOU HAD THE ROCKYS |
| 240 | SO YOU COULD WEAR BULLWINKLE AND BULLWINKLE |
| 241 | OR YOU COULD WEAR ROCKY AND ROCKY |
| 242 | OR YOU CAN MIX AND MATCH. |
| 243 | MOOSE AND SQUIRREL. |
| 244 | WHATEVER YOU WANT. |
| 245 | WELL, I'M GOING TO GET ANOTHER ESPRESSO. |
| 246 | MORE LATTE? |
| 247 | NO... NO, I-I'M, I'M STILL WORKING ON MINE. |
| 248 | ( braying laugh ) |
| 249 | THAT'S IT? |
| 250 | YEAH, IT WAS REALLY HARD. |
| 251 | OH, YEAH, THE HUG LOOKED PRETTY BRUTAL. |
| 252 | OKAY, YOU WEREN'T THERE. |
| 253 | Woman: COMING THROUGH. MOVE, MOVE. |
| 254 | OH, EXCUSE ME. |
| 255 | I WAS KIND OF USING THAT MACHINE. |
| 256 | YEAH, WELL, NOW YOU'RE KIND OF NOT. |
| 257 | BUT, I-I SAVED IT. |
| 258 | I-I PUT MY BASKET ON TOP. |
| 259 | OH, I'M SORRY, IS THAT YOUR BASKET? |
| 260 | YES. |
| 261 | IT'S REALLY PRETTY. |
| 262 | UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T SEE SUDS! |
| 263 | WHAT? |
| 264 | NO SUDS, NO SAVE. OKAY? |
| 265 | WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 266 | HI. UH, NOTHING. |
| 267 | THIS HORRIBLE WOMAN JUST TOOK MY MACHINE. |
| 268 | WAS YOUR BASKET ON TOP? |
| 269 | YEAH, BUT THERE WERE NO SUDS. |
| 270 | SO? |
| 271 | YOU KNOW, "NO SUDS, NO SAVE." |
| 272 | NO SUDS, NO..? EXCUSE ME. |
| 273 | HOLD ON A SECOND. |
| 274 | THIS IS MY FRIEND'S MACHINE. |
| 275 | HEY, HEY, HEY, HER STUFF WASN'T IN IT. |
| 276 | HEY, HEY, HEY, THAT'S NOT THE RULE |
| 277 | AND YOU KNOW IT. |
| 278 | ALL RIGHT, SHOW'S OVER. |
| 279 | NOTHING TO SEE HERE. |
| 280 | OKAY, LET'S DO LAUNDRY. |
| 281 | THAT WAS AMAZING. |
| 282 | WELL... |
| 283 | I CAN'T EVEN SEND BACK SOUP. |
| 284 | WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A SWEET, GENTLE, UH... |
| 285 | UM, UH, DO YOU, UH, OH, HEY |
| 286 | YOU MUST NEED DETERGENT. OH! |
| 287 | WHAT'S THAT? |
| 288 | UBERWEISS. IT'S NEW, IT'S GERMAN |
| 289 | IT'S EXTRA-TOUGH. |
| 290 | RACH, ARE YOU GOING TO SEPARATE THOSE? |
| 291 | OH, GOD. OH! |
| 292 | AM I BEING, LIKE A TOTAL LAUNDRY SPAZ? |
| 293 | I MEAN, AM I SUPPOSED TO USE ONE MACHINE FOR SHIRTS |
| 294 | AND ANOTHER MACHINE FOR PANTS? |
| 295 | HAVE YOU..? |
| 296 | HAVE YOU NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE? |
| 297 | WELL, NOT MYSELF |
| 298 | BUT I KNOW OTHER PEOPLE THAT HAVE. |
| 299 | OKAY, YOU CAUGHT ME. |
| 300 | I'M A LAUNDRY VIRGIN. |
| 301 | UH, WELL, DON'T WORRY, I'LL USE THE GENTLE CYCLE. |
| 302 | OKAY, UH... |
| 303 | BASICALLY, YOU WANT TO USE ONE MACHINE |
| 304 | FOR ALL YOUR WHITES |
| 305 | A WHOLE NOTHER MACHINE FOR, FOR YOUR COLORS |
| 306 | AND, AND A THIRD FOR YOUR, UH... |
| 307 | UH... DELICATES, AND THAT WOULD BE |
| 308 | YOUR BRAS AND YOUR UNDER... PANTY-THINGS. |
| 309 | OKAY, WELL, WHAT ABOUT... |
| 310 | THESE ARE WHITE COTTON PANTIES. |
| 311 | WOULD THEY GO WITH WHITES |
| 312 | OR WITH DELICATES? |
| 313 | UH, THAT, THAT... |
| 314 | THAT WOULD BE A JUDGMENT CALL. |
| 315 | ( all laughing ) |
| 316 | SO, WHERE DID YOU GUYS GROW UP? |
| 317 | BROOKLYN HEIGHTS. CLEVELAND. |
| 318 | HA. |
| 319 | HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? |
| 320 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 321 | WHAT? |
| 322 | I, UH, SUDDENLY HAD THE FEELING |
| 323 | I WAS... FALLING. |
| 324 | BUT I'M NOT. |
| 325 | SO, YOU AND ANGELA, HUH? |
| 326 | YEP. PRETTY MUCH. |
| 327 | YOU'RE A LUCKY MAN. |
| 328 | YEAH. |
| 329 | YOU KNOW WHAT I MISS THE MOST ABOUT HER? |
| 330 | THAT CUTE NIBBLY NOISE SHE MAKES WHEN SHE EATS |
| 331 | LIKE A HAPPY LITTLE SQUIRREL OR... |
| 332 | OR A WEASEL. |
| 333 | I... I NEVER REALLY NOTICED. |
| 334 | OH, YEAH, YEAH. |
| 335 | LISTEN FOR IT. |
| 336 | MONICA... |
| 337 | MONICA IS GREAT. |
| 338 | YEAH. YEAH, SHE IS. |
| 339 | BUT, UH... IT'S NOT GOING TO LAST. |
| 340 | SHE'S TOO MUCH FOR ME IN BED. |
| 341 | SEXUALLY. |
| 342 | I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU. |
| 343 | BOB IS TERRIFIC. |
| 344 | YEAH. ISN'T HE? |
| 345 | IT IS SO GREAT TO MEET A GUY WHO'S SMART AND FUNNY |
| 346 | AND HAS AN EMOTIONAL AGE BEYOND, LIKE, EIGHT. |
| 347 | YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? |
| 348 | HE'S UNBELIEVABLE IN BED. |
| 349 | WOW. |
| 350 | MY BROTHER NEVER EVEN TOLD ME WHEN HE LOST HIS VIRGINITY. |
| 351 | HUH. |
| 352 | THAT'S NICE. |
| 353 | YOU CAN DO THIS. |
| 354 | IT'S JUST LIKE PULLING OFF A BAND-AID. |
| 355 | JUST DO IT REALLY FAST AND THEN THE WOUND IS EXPOSED. |
| 356 | GO. GO. |
| 357 | JANICE... |
| 358 | HI, JANICE. |
| 359 | OKAY, HERE WE GO: I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD GO OUT ANYMORE. |
| 360 | JANICE. |
| 361 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 362 | WELL... |
| 363 | WELL, THERE YOU GO. |
| 364 | STOP IT. STOP IT. |
| 365 | STOP IT. |
| 366 | OKAY. I KNOW THIS IS GOING TO SOUND REALLY STUPID |
| 367 | BUT I FEEL... I FEEL THAT IF I CAN DO THIS... |
| 368 | YOU KNOW, IF I CAN ACTUALLY DO MY OWN LAUNDRY |
| 369 | THERE ISN'T ANYTHING I CAN'T DO. |
| 370 | THAT DOES NOT SOUND STUPID TO ME. |
| 371 | LIKE THE FIRST TIME I HAD TO MAKE DINNER FOR MYSELF |
| 372 | AFTER CAROL LEFT ME. |
| 373 | ( buzzing ) |
| 374 | THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE. |
| 375 | NEXT, ON ROSS... |
| 376 | OKAY. UH-OH. |
| 377 | WHAT "UH-OH"? |
| 378 | UH-OH... |
| 379 | UH-OH... THE LAUNDRY'S DONE. |
| 380 | IT'S A... IT'S A SONG. |
| 381 | THE LAUNDRY SONG THAT WE SING. |
| 382 | ♪ UH-OH, THE LAUNDRY'S DONE. ♪ |
| 383 | ROSS, WHAT'S THE MATTER? |
| 384 | NOTHING. |
| 385 | ♪ LEE-LO, THE LAUNDRY'S DONE. ♪ |
| 386 | COME ON. SHOW ME. |
| 387 | IT'S JUST THAT YOU LEFT A RED SOCK IN |
| 388 | WITH ALL YOUR WHITES AND NOW... |
| 389 | EVERYTHING'S KIND OF PINK. |
| 390 | OH. EVERYTHING'S PINK. |
| 391 | YEAH. |
| 392 | EXCEPT FOR THE RED SOCK, WHICH IS STILL RED. |
| 393 | DON'T BE UPSET. |
| 394 | IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE. |
| 395 | BUT IT DIDN'T. IT HAPPENED TO ME. |
| 396 | GOD! I'M GOING TO LOOK LIKE A BIG MARSHMALLOW PEEP. |
| 397 | WHAT AM I DOING? WHAT AM I DOING? |
| 398 | MY FATHER'S RIGHT. |
| 399 | I CAN'T LIVE ON MY OWN. |
| 400 | I CAN'T EVEN DO LAUNDRY. |
| 401 | ( making nibbly noises ) |
| 402 | SOMETHING WENT WRONG WITH UNDERDOG |
| 403 | AND THEY COULDN'T GET HIS HEAD TO INFLATE |
| 404 | SO, ANYWAY, UM... |
| 405 | HIS HEAD IS, LIKE, FLOPPING DOWN BROADWAY, RIGHT? |
| 406 | AND I'M JUST THINKING... |
| 407 | HOW INAPPROPRIATE THIS IS. |
| 408 | UM... I'VE GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE. |
| 409 | JOEY, COULD WE CHECK IT IN THE LIGHT? |
| 410 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 411 | WHAT? |
| 412 | HELLO?! |
| 413 | WERE WE AT THE SAME TABLE? |
| 414 | IT'S LIKE COCKTAILS IN APPALACHIA. |
| 415 | COME ON. THEY'RE CLOSE. |
| 416 | CLOSE? |
| 417 | SHE'S GOT HER TONGUE IN HIS EAR. |
| 418 | OH. LIKE YOU'VE NEVER GOTTEN A LITTLE RAMBUNCTIOUS WITH ROSS? |
| 419 | JOEY, THIS IS SICK. |
| 420 | IT'S DISGUSTING. |
| 421 | IT'S... IT'S... |
| 422 | NOT REALLY TRUE, IS IT? |
| 423 | WHO'S TO SAY WHAT'S TRUE? |
| 424 | WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? |
| 425 | ALL RIGHT, LOOK. I'M NOT PROUD OF THIS. |
| 426 | WELL, MAYBE I AM A LITTLE. |
| 427 | OH! |
| 428 | I'M OUT OF HERE. |
| 429 | WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. |
| 430 | YOU LIKE HIM. I WANT HER. |
| 431 | HE LIKES YOU. |
| 432 | REALLY? |
| 433 | YEAH. |
| 434 | I'M THINKING IF WE PUT OUR HEADS TOGETHER |
| 435 | BETWEEN THE TWO OF US WE CAN BREAK THEM UP. |
| 436 | I'M SO SORRY. |
| 437 | I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THIS. |
| 438 | I JUST COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING AT YOUR NORMAN MAILER STORY |
| 439 | ( making nibbly noises ) |
| 440 | WAITER, ONE MORE PLATE OF CHICKEN WINGS. |
| 441 | HERE'S THE THING, JANICE, WE'RE DIFFERENT. |
| 442 | I'M LIKE THE BING, BING, BING. |
| 443 | YOU'RE LIKE THE BOOM, BOOM, BOOM. |
| 444 | OW! |
| 445 | MY GOD! |
| 446 | I'M SO SORRY. |
| 447 | ARE YOU OKAY? |
| 448 | OW. |
| 449 | IT'S JUST MY LENS. |
| 450 | I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. |
| 451 | OW. |
| 452 | I HIT HER IN THE EYE. |
| 453 | I HIT HER IN THE EYE! |
| 454 | THIS IS THE WORST BREAKUP IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. |
| 455 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 456 | HOW MANY OF THOSE HAVE YOU HAD? |
| 457 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 458 | A MILLION? |
| 459 | CHANDLER, SHH. |
| 460 | EASY. EASY. |
| 461 | GO TO YOUR HAPPY PLACE. |
| 462 | ♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA. ♪ |
| 463 | I'M FINE. I'M FINE. |
| 464 | I'M FINE. |
| 465 | I'M NOT FINE. |
| 466 | HERE SHE COMES. |
| 467 | JUST WAIT HERE, OKAY? |
| 468 | BREATHE. |
| 469 | HOW DO YOU DO THAT? |
| 470 | IT'S LIKE A GIFT. |
| 471 | WE SHOULD ALWAYS, ALWAYS BREAK UP TOGETHER. |
| 472 | OH, I'D LIKE THAT. |
| 473 | YOU GOT THE CLOTHES CLEAN. |
| 474 | NOW, THAT'S THE IMPORTANT PART. |
| 475 | OH, I GUESS. |
| 476 | EXCEPT EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE JAMMIES NOW. |
| 477 | OH, I'M SORRY. |
| 478 | EXCUSE ME. |
| 479 | WE HAD THIS CART. |
| 480 | YEAH, WELL, I HAD A 24-INCH WAIST. |
| 481 | YOU LOSE THINGS. |
| 482 | NOW, COME ON. |
| 483 | GET OUT OF MY WAY. |
| 484 | MAYBE I WASN'T BEING CLEAR. |
| 485 | THIS WAS OUR CART. |
| 486 | THERE WEREN'T ANY CLOTHES IN IT! |
| 487 | HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! QUIT MAKING UP RULES! |
| 488 | LET GO! |
| 489 | ( arguing ) |
| 490 | ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, MITZI. |
| 491 | IF YOU WANT THIS CART |
| 492 | YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE ME WITH IT. |
| 493 | YES. |
| 494 | DID YOU SEE THAT? |
| 495 | YOU WERE INCREDIBLE. |
| 496 | A BRAND-NEW WOMAN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. |
| 497 | I COULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT YOU. |
| 498 | OKAY, UM... UH... |
| 499 | MORE CLOTHES IN THE DRYER? |
| 500 | I'M FINE. I'M FINE. |
| 501 | ARE YOU SURE? |
| 502 | NO. |
| 503 | ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY? |
| 504 | YEAH. |
| 505 | DOES IT STILL HURT? |
| 506 | YEAH. |
| 507 | WHAT A NEAT IDEA. |
| 508 | ALL YOUR CLOTHES MATCH. |
| 509 | I'M GOING TO DO THIS. |
| 510 | HI. |
| 511 | HEY. HOW DID IT GO? |
| 512 | EXCELLENT. |
| 513 | WE RIPPED THAT COUPLE APART |
| 514 | AND KEPT THE PIECES FOR OURSELVES. |
| 515 | WHAT A BEAUTIFUL STORY. |
| 516 | HEY. I'M FINE, BY THE WAY. |
| 517 | OH, I'M... |
| 518 | HEY. WHERE'S CHANDLER? |
| 519 | HE NEEDED SOME TIME TO GRIEVE. |
| 520 | I'M FREE! I'M FREE! |
| 521 | THAT OUGHT TO DO IT. |
| 522 | |
| 1 | THERE'S JOEY'S PICTURE. |
| 2 | THIS IS SO EXCITING. |
| 3 | YOU CAN ALWAYS SPOT SOMEONE |
| 4 | WHO'S NEVER SEEN ONE OF HIS PLAYS BEFORE. |
| 5 | NO FEAR, NO SENSE OF IMPENDING DOOM. |
| 6 | THE EXCLAMATION POINT IN THE TITLE SCARES ME. |
| 7 | IT'S NOT JUST FREUD, IT'S FREUD! |
| 8 | SHH. THE MAGIC IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN. |
| 9 | ( with German accent ): WELL, EVA |
| 10 | WE'VE DONE SOME EXCELLENT WORK HERE |
| 11 | AND I WOULD HAVE TO SAY |
| 12 | YOUR PROBLEM IS QUITE CLEAR. |
| 13 | ( piano intro playing ) |
| 14 | ♪ ALL YOU WANT IS A DINKLE ♪ |
| 15 | ♪ WHAT YOU ENVY'S A SCHWANG ♪ |
| 16 | ♪ A THING THROUGH WHICH YOU CAN TINKLE ♪ |
| 17 | ♪ OR PLAY WITH OR SIMPLY LET HANG. ♪ |
| 18 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 19 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 20 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 21 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 22 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 23 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 24 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 25 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 26 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 27 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 28 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 29 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 30 | ( cheering ) |
| 31 | ( moaning ) |
| 32 | I FEEL VIOLATED. |
| 33 | WAS I THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTED TO PEEL |
| 34 | THE SKIN OFF THEIR BODY |
| 35 | TO HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO DO? |
| 36 | ROSS, 10:00. |
| 37 | IS IT? FEELS LIKE 2:00. |
| 38 | NO, 10:00. |
| 39 | WHAT? |
| 40 | THERE'S A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AT 8:00, 9:00, 10:00. |
| 41 | Ross: HELLO. |
| 42 | SHE'S AMAZING! |
| 43 | SHE MAKES THE WOMEN I DREAM ABOUT |
| 44 | LOOK LIKE SHORT, FAT, BALD MEN. |
| 45 | WELL, GO OVER TO HER. |
| 46 | SHE'S NOT WITH ANYONE. |
| 47 | WHAT WOULD MY OPENING LINE BE? |
| 48 | "EXCUSE ME... |
| 49 | ( blubbering ) |
| 50 | COME ON, SHE'S A PERSON. |
| 51 | YOU CAN DO IT. |
| 52 | COULD SHE BE MORE OUT OF MY LEAGUE? |
| 53 | ROSS, BACK ME UP HERE. |
| 54 | HE COULD NEVER GET A WOMAN LIKE THAT |
| 55 | IN A MILLION YEARS. |
| 56 | YOU KNOW, YOU ALWAYS SEE THESE REALLY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN |
| 57 | WITH THESE REALLY NOTHING GUYS. |
| 58 | YOU COULD BE ONE OF THOSE GUYS. |
| 59 | YOU THINK? |
| 60 | YEAH. ABSOLUTELY. |
| 61 | I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M EVEN CONSIDERING THIS. |
| 62 | I'M VERY AWARE OF MY TONGUE. |
| 63 | COME ON. |
| 64 | HERE GOES. |
| 65 | YES? |
| 66 | HI. |
| 67 | UM... OKAY NEXT WORD WOULD BE... |
| 68 | UH, CHANDLER... |
| 69 | CHANDLER IS MY NAME. |
| 70 | AND UH... UH... HI. |
| 71 | YES, YOU SAID THAT. |
| 72 | YES, I DID. |
| 73 | BUT WHAT I DIDN'T SAY... |
| 74 | WHAT I WANTED TO SAY WAS |
| 75 | WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT WITH ME? |
| 76 | THANK YOU. GOOD NIGHT. |
| 77 | CHANDLER... |
| 78 | HEY! I DIDN'T KNOW |
| 79 | YOU COULD DANCE. |
| 80 | WAS IT GOOD? |
| 81 | I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD DANCE. |
| 82 | COME ON. IT WASN'T THAT BAD. |
| 83 | IT WAS BETTER THAN THAT THING WITH THE TROLLS. |
| 84 | AT LEAST YOU GOT TO SEE MY HEAD. |
| 85 | YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 86 | SAW YOUR HEAD. |
| 87 | SHE SAID YES! SHE SAID YES! |
| 88 | GREAT! |
| 89 | AWFUL PLAY, MAN. |
| 90 | WHOA! |
| 91 | HER NAME'S AURORA AND SHE'S ITALIAN |
| 92 | AND SHE PRONOUNCES MY NAME "CHAND-LER." |
| 93 | "CHAND-LER." |
| 94 | I LIKE IT BETTER THAT WAY. |
| 95 | THE USHER GAVE ME THIS TO GIVE TO YOU. |
| 96 | "ESTELLE LEONARD TALENT AGENCY." |
| 97 | AN AGENCY LEFT ME ITS CARD. |
| 98 | MAYBE THEY WANT TO SIGN ME. |
| 99 | BASED ON THIS PLAY? |
| 100 | BASED ON THIS PLAY. |
| 101 | HEY, KIDS. |
| 102 | HI, CHANDLER. |
| 103 | THIS LINE IS PASSION. |
| 104 | AND THIS IS JUST A LINE. |
| 105 | I'VE BEEN HERE SEVEN SECONDS |
| 106 | AND YOU HAVEN'T ASKED ABOUT MY DATE. |
| 107 | HOW WAS YOUR DATE, CHAND-LER? |
| 108 | IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE. |
| 109 | I'VE NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE HER. |
| 110 | SHE'S HAD THE MOST AMAZING LIFE. |
| 111 | SHE WAS IN THE ISRAELI ARMY... |
| 112 | LUCKILY, NONE OF THE BULLETS HIT THE ENGINE BLOCK. |
| 113 | SO, WE MADE IT TO THE BORDER |
| 114 | BUT JUST BARELY, AND I... |
| 115 | I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT MYSELF ALL NIGHT LONG. |
| 116 | I'M SORRY. |
| 117 | WHAT ABOUT YOU? |
| 118 | TELL ME ONE OF YOUR STORIES. |
| 119 | ALL RIGHT, ONCE... |
| 120 | ONCE I GOT ON THE SUBWAY, RIGHT? |
| 121 | AND IT WAS AT NIGHT |
| 122 | AND I RODE IT ALL THE WAY TO BROOKLYN |
| 123 | JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT. |
| 124 | WE TALKED TILL 2:00. |
| 125 | IT WAS THIS PERFECT EVENING... |
| 126 | MORE OR LESS. |
| 127 | ALL OF SUDDEN, WE REALIZE WE'RE IN YEMEN. |
| 128 | I'M SORRY. SO WE IS? |
| 129 | WE WOULD BE ME AND RICK. |
| 130 | WHO'S RICK? |
| 131 | WHO'S RICK? |
| 132 | MY HUSBAND. |
| 133 | EW! EW! EW! |
| 134 | OH, SO YOU'RE DIVORCED? |
| 135 | NO. |
| 136 | OH, I'M SORRY. |
| 137 | SO YOU'RE WIDOWED... HOPEFULLY? |
| 138 | NO, I'M STILL MARRIED. |
| 139 | SO, TELL ME, HOW DO YOU THINK |
| 140 | YOUR HUSBAND WOULD FEEL ABOUT YOU SITTING HERE WITH ME |
| 141 | SLIDING YOUR FOOT SO FAR UP MY PANT LEG |
| 142 | YOU CAN COUNT THE CHANGE |
| 143 | IN MY POCKET? |
| 144 | DON'T WORRY. I IMAGINE |
| 145 | HE'D BE OKAY WITH YOU |
| 146 | BECAUSE REALLY HE'S OKAY |
| 147 | WITH ETHAN. |
| 148 | ETHAN? |
| 149 | THERE'S AN ETHAN? |
| 150 | ETHAN IS MY... |
| 151 | BOYFRIEND. |
| 152 | All: WHAT?! |
| 153 | EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO ME. |
| 154 | WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO YOU IMAGINE US HAVING |
| 155 | IF YOU ALREADY HAVE A HUSBAND AND A BOYFRIEND? |
| 156 | I SUPPOSE MAINLY SEXUAL. |
| 157 | HUH. |
| 158 | I'M SORRY IT DIDN'T WORK OUT. |
| 159 | WHAT NOT WORK OUT? |
| 160 | I'M SEEING HER ON THURSDAY. |
| 161 | DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO THE STORY? |
| 162 | DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO THE STORY? |
| 163 | THIS IS TWISTED. |
| 164 | HOW COULD YOU GET INVOLVED WITH A WOMAN LIKE THIS? |
| 165 | I HAD TROUBLE WITH IT AT FIRST TOO |
| 166 | BUT I GET ALL THE GOOD STUFF. |
| 167 | ALL THE FUN, ALL THE TALKING, ALL THE SEX |
| 168 | AND NONE OF THE RESPONSIBILITY. |
| 169 | THIS IS EVERY GUY'S FANTASY. |
| 170 | THAT IS NOT TRUE. |
| 171 | ROSS, IS THIS YOUR FANTASY? |
| 172 | OF COURSE NOT. |
| 173 | YEAH. YEAH, IT IS. |
| 174 | SO YOU DON'T MIND GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE |
| 175 | WHO'S GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE? |
| 176 | I COULDN'T DO IT. |
| 177 | GOOD FOR YOU, JOEY. |
| 178 | I NEED TO KNOW THAT I'M GOING OUT |
| 179 | WITH MORE PEOPLE THAN SHE IS. |
| 180 | WELL, YOU KNOW |
| 181 | MONOGAMY CAN BE A TRICKY CONCEPT. |
| 182 | I MEAN, ANTHROPOLOGICALLY SPEAKING... |
| 183 | ( all snoring ) |
| 184 | FINE, FINE. NOW YOU'LL NEVER KNOW. |
| 185 | WE'RE KIDDING. GO. TELL US. |
| 186 | Joey: COME ON, ROSS. |
| 187 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 188 | THERE'S A THEORY PUT FORTH BY RICHARD LEAKEY... |
| 189 | ( all snoring ) |
| 190 | TA-DA! |
| 191 | ARE WE GREETING EACH OTHER THIS WAY NOW |
| 192 | BECAUSE I LIKE THAT. |
| 193 | LOOK. |
| 194 | I CLEANED! I DID THE WINDOWS. |
| 195 | I EVEN USED ALL THOSE |
| 196 | VACUUM ATTACHMENTS |
| 197 | EXCEPT FOR THAT LITTLE ROUND ONE |
| 198 | WITH THE BRISTLES. |
| 199 | I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT'S FOR. |
| 200 | NOBODY KNOWS. WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ASK. |
| 201 | WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK? |
| 202 | VERY CLEAN. |
| 203 | REALLY, IT LOOKS GREAT. |
| 204 | OH, I SEE YOU MOVED THE GREEN OTTOMAN. |
| 205 | UH-OH. UH-OH. UH-OH. |
| 206 | HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? |
| 207 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 208 | I THOUGHT IT LOOKED BETTER THERE. |
| 209 | AND ALSO IT'S AN EXTRA SEAT AROUND THE COFFEE TABLE. |
| 210 | IT'S INTERESTING. |
| 211 | BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST FOR FUN |
| 212 | LET'S SEE WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE IN THE OLD SPOT. |
| 213 | JUST TO COMPARE. |
| 214 | LET'S SEE. |
| 215 | WELL, IT LOOKS GOOD THERE TOO. |
| 216 | LET'S JUST LEAVE IT THERE FOR A WHILE. |
| 217 | CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TRIED TO MOVE THE GREEN OTTOMAN. |
| 218 | THANK GOD YOU DIDN'T TRY |
| 219 | AND FAN OUT THE MAGAZINES. |
| 220 | SHE'LL SCRATCH YOUR EYES RIGHT OUT. |
| 221 | GUYS, I AM NOT THAT BAD. |
| 222 | YEAH, YOU ARE, MONICA. |
| 223 | REMEMBER WHEN I LIVED WITH YOU? |
| 224 | YOU WERE LIKE A LITTLE... |
| 225 | ( imitates music fromPsycho) |
| 226 | THAT IS SO UNFAIR. |
| 227 | OH, COME ON. WHEN WE WERE KIDS |
| 228 | YOURS WAS THE ONLY RAGGEDY ANN DOLL |
| 229 | THAT WASN'T RAGGEDY. |
| 230 | OKAY, SO I'M RESPONSIBLE. |
| 231 | I'M ORGANIZED. |
| 232 | BUT, HEY, I CAN BE A KOOK. |
| 233 | ALL RIGHT, YOU MADCAP GAL. |
| 234 | TRY TO IMAGINE THIS. |
| 235 | THE PHONE BILL ARRIVES |
| 236 | BUT YOU DON'T PAY IT RIGHT AWAY. |
| 237 | WHY NOT? |
| 238 | BECAUSE YOU'RE A KOOK. |
| 239 | INSTEAD, YOU WAIT UNTIL THEY SEND YOU A NOTICE. |
| 240 | I COULD DO THAT. |
| 241 | OKAY, THEN YOU LET ME GO GROCERY SHOPPING |
| 242 | AND I BUY LAUNDRY DETERGENT |
| 243 | BUT IT'S NOT THE ONE WITH THE EASY-POUR SPOUT. |
| 244 | WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT? |
| 245 | ONE MIGHT WONDER. |
| 246 | SOMEONE'S LEFT |
| 247 | A GLASS ON THE COFFEE TABLE. |
| 248 | THERE'S NO COASTER. |
| 249 | IT'S A COLD DRINK, IT'S A HOT DAY. |
| 250 | BEADS OF CONDENSATION ARE INCHING |
| 251 | THEIR WAY CLOSER |
| 252 | TO THE SURFACE OF THE WOOD. |
| 253 | STOP IT! |
| 254 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 255 | IT'S TRUE. |
| 256 | WHO AM I? |
| 257 | MONICA, YOU'RE MOM. |
| 258 | ( gasps ) |
| 259 | ( imitates Psycho music ) |
| 260 | UH-HUH. |
| 261 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 262 | OKAY. |
| 263 | OKAY, I'LL BE THERE. |
| 264 | THAT WAS MY AGENT. |
| 265 | MY AGENT HAS JUST GOTTEN ME A JOB... |
| 266 | IN THE NEW AL PACINO MOVIE! |
| 267 | WHAT? YOU'RE KIDDING. |
| 268 | THAT'S GREAT! |
| 269 | WHAT'S THE PART? |
| 270 | CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? |
| 271 | AL PACINO! |
| 272 | THIS GUY'S THE REASON I BECAME AN ACTOR. |
| 273 | "I'M OUT OF ORDER? |
| 274 | "YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER. |
| 275 | THIS WHOLE COURTROOM'S OUT OF ORDER." |
| 276 | SERIOUSLY, WHAT'S THE PART? |
| 277 | "JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS OUT |
| 278 | THEY PULL ME BACK IN." |
| 279 | SERIOUSLY, JOEY, WHAT'S THE PART? |
| 280 | UH... |
| 281 | ( mumbles ) |
| 282 | YOU'RE ( mumbles ) WHAT? |
| 283 | I'M HIS BUTT DOUBLE, OKAY? |
| 284 | I PLAY AL PACINO'S BUTT. |
| 285 | HE GOES INTO THE SHOWER |
| 286 | AND THEN I'M HIS BUTT. |
| 287 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 288 | COME ON, YOU GUYS. |
| 289 | THIS IS A REAL MOVIE, AND AL PACINO'S IN IT |
| 290 | AND THAT'S BIG. |
| 291 | OH, NO, IT'S TERRIFIC. |
| 292 | YOU DESERVE THIS. |
| 293 | AFTER YEARS OF STRUGGLE |
| 294 | YOU'VE FINALLY CRACKED YOUR WAY |
| 295 | INTO SHOW BUSINESS. |
| 296 | OKAY, FINE, MAKE JOKES. |
| 297 | I DON'T CARE. |
| 298 | THIS IS A BIG BREAK FOR ME. |
| 299 | YOU'RE RIGHT, IT IS. |
| 300 | SO, YOU GOING TO INVITE US ALL TO THE BIG OPENING? |
| 301 | ( knocking at door ) |
| 302 | YEAH? |
| 303 | HERE. I NEED TO BORROW SOME MOISTURIZER. |
| 304 | FOR WHAT? |
| 305 | WHAT DO YOU THINK? |
| 306 | TODAY'S THE BIG DAY. |
| 307 | GO INTO THE BATHROOM, USE WHATEVER YOU WANT. |
| 308 | JUST DON'T EVER TELL ME WHAT YOU DID IN THERE. |
| 309 | THANK YOU. |
| 310 | WHERE'S JOEY? HIS MOM'S ON THE PHONE. |
| 311 | HE'S IN THE BATHROOM. |
| 312 | YOU DON'T WANT TO GO IN THERE. |
| 313 | OH, COME ON. WE'RE ROOMMATES. |
| 314 | ( screaming ) |
| 315 | MY EYES! |
| 316 | WHO IS BEING LOUD? |
| 317 | THAT'D BE MONICA. |
| 318 | CAN I BORROW |
| 319 | A COUPLE THINGS? |
| 320 | I'M MAKING BREAKFAST FOR AURORA. |
| 321 | YOU GOT THE WHOLE NIGHT, HUH? |
| 322 | WELL, I ONLY HAVE 20 MINUTES TILL ETHAN, SO... |
| 323 | DO I SENSE A LITTLE BIT OF RESENTMENT? |
| 324 | NO, NO, NO RESENTMENT. |
| 325 | BELIEVE ME, IT'S WORTH IT. |
| 326 | YOU KNOW HOW IN A RELATIONSHIP |
| 327 | YOU HAVE KEY MOMENTS THAT YOU KNOW YOU'LL REMEMBER FOREVER? |
| 328 | WELL, EVERY... SINGLE... SECOND IS LIKE THAT WITH AURORA. |
| 329 | AND I'VE JUST WASTED 35 OF THEM TALKING TO YOU PEOPLE. |
| 330 | SO, UH, MONICA, CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THE DOOR? |
| 331 | SURE. |
| 332 | UH, CHANDLER, YOU KNOW |
| 333 | THE OLD MONICA WOULD REMIND YOU |
| 334 | TO SCRUB THAT TEFLON PAN WITH A PLASTIC BRUSH. |
| 335 | I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT. |
| 336 | OKAY, EVERYBODY READY? |
| 337 | I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THIS GREAT OPPORTUNITY. |
| 338 | LOSE THE ROBE. |
| 339 | ME? |
| 340 | THAT WOULD WORK. |
| 341 | OKAY. LOSING THE ROBE. |
| 342 | OKAY. AND THE ROBE IS LOST. |
| 343 | OKAY, EVERYBODY, I'D LIKE TO GET THIS |
| 344 | IN ONE TAKE, PLEASE. |
| 345 | LET'S ROLL IT. |
| 346 | WATER'S WORKING. |
| 347 | AND... ACTION. |
| 348 | AND... CUT. |
| 349 | HEY, BUTT-GUY, WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING? |
| 350 | WELL... I'M SHOWERING. |
| 351 | NO. THAT WAS "CLENCHING." |
| 352 | WELL, THE WAY I SEE IT, THE GUY'S UPSET, YOU KNOW? |
| 353 | I MEAN, HIS WIFE'S DEAD, HIS BROTHER'S MISSING. |
| 354 | I THINK HIS BUTT WOULD BE ANGRY HERE. |
| 355 | I THINK HIS BUTT |
| 356 | WOULD LIKE TO GET THIS SHOT BEFORE LUNCH. |
| 357 | ONCE AGAIN, ROLLING. |
| 358 | WATER WORKING. |
| 359 | AND... ACTION. |
| 360 | AND... CUT. |
| 361 | WHAT WAS THAT? |
| 362 | I WAS GOING FOR QUIET DESPERATION. |
| 363 | BUT IF YOU HAVE TO ASK... |
| 364 | GOD, I LOVE THESE FINGERS. |
| 365 | THANK YOU. |
| 366 | NO, ACTUALLY I MEANT MY FINGERS. |
| 367 | LOOK AT THEM. |
| 368 | LOOK HOW HAPPY THEY ARE. |
| 369 | OH... OH, MY GOD, I'M LATE. |
| 370 | NO, NO, NO, NO. |
| 371 | DON'T GO, DON'T GO. |
| 372 | OKAY, OKAY. |
| 373 | DON'T GO, DON'T GO. |
| 374 | NO, I HAVE TO. |
| 375 | LOOK AT THAT-- SHE'S LEAVING. |
| 376 | I'M SORRY. HE'LL BE WAITING FOR ME. |
| 377 | WELL, I THOUGHT YOU TALKED TO RICK. |
| 378 | IT'S... NOT RICK. |
| 379 | ETHAN SPENT THE WHOLE DAY WITH YOU. |
| 380 | NO, IT'S... IT'S ANDREW. |
| 381 | I KNOW THERE'LL BE MANY MOMENTS IN YEARS TO COME |
| 382 | WHEN I'LL REGRET ASKING THE FOLLOWING QUESTION, BUT... |
| 383 | AND ANDREW IS..? |
| 384 | HE'S... NEW. |
| 385 | SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING |
| 386 | IS YOU'RE NOT COMPLETELY FULFILLED |
| 387 | BY RICK, ETHAN AND MYSELF? |
| 388 | THAT'S NOT EXACTLY WHAT... |
| 389 | MOST WOMEN WOULD KILL FOR THREE GUYS LIKE US. |
| 390 | SO WHAT DO YOU WANT? |
| 391 | YOU. |
| 392 | YOU HAVE ME. |
| 393 | NO, NO, JUST YOU. |
| 394 | WHAT DO YOU MEAN? |
| 395 | LOSE THE OTHER GUYS. |
| 396 | LIKE... ALL OF THEM? |
| 397 | COME ON, WE'RE GREAT TOGETHER! |
| 398 | WHY NOT? |
| 399 | WHY CAN'T WE JUST HAVE WHAT WE HAVE NOW-- |
| 400 | JUST TALK AND LAUGH AND MAKE LOVE |
| 401 | WITHOUT FEELING OBLIGATED TO ONE ANOTHER? |
| 402 | AND UP UNTIL TONIGHT |
| 403 | I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED TOO. |
| 404 | YOU KNOW, PART OF ME WANTS THAT |
| 405 | BUT IT'S LIKE I'M TWO GUYS, YOU KNOW? |
| 406 | ONE GUY'S SAYING, "SHUT UP! THIS IS GREAT!" |
| 407 | BUT THERE'S THIS OTHER GUY-- |
| 408 | ACTUALLY IT'S THE GUY WHO WELLS UP |
| 409 | EVERY TIME THE GRINCH'S HEART GROWS THREE SIZES |
| 410 | AND BREAKS THAT MEASURING DEVICE?-- |
| 411 | AND HE'S SAYING, YOU KNOW |
| 412 | "THIS IS TOO HARD! GET OUT! GET OUT!" |
| 413 | SO WHICH ONE OF THE TWO GUYS WILL YOU LISTEN TO? |
| 414 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 415 | I HAVE TO LISTEN TO BOTH OF THEM. |
| 416 | THEY DON'T EXACTLY |
| 417 | LET EACH OTHER FINISH. |
| 418 | WHICH ONE? |
| 419 | THE SECOND GUY. |
| 420 | I SEE. |
| 421 | WELL... |
| 422 | CALL ME IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND. |
| 423 | SORRY. THE FIRST GUY RUNS THE LIPS. |
| 424 | ( sighs ) |
| 425 | LOOK AT IT THIS WAY-- YOU DUMPED HER. |
| 426 | RIGHT? THIS WOMAN WAS UNBELIEVABLY SEXY |
| 427 | AND BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT, UNATTAINABLE... |
| 428 | TELL ME WHY YOU DID THIS AGAIN? |
| 429 | HEY, MOVIE STAR. |
| 430 | HEY, WEREN'T YOU THE GUY WHO PLAYS THE BUTT |
| 431 | IN THE NEW AL PACINO MOVIE? |
| 432 | NOPE. |
| 433 | NO? WHAT HAPPENED, BIG GUY? |
| 434 | "BIG GUY"? |
| 435 | IT FELT LIKE A "BIG GUY" MOMENT. |
| 436 | I GOT FIRED. |
| 437 | OH... |
| 438 | THEY SAID I "ACTED" TOO MUCH |
| 439 | WITH IT. |
| 440 | I TOLD EVERYBODY ABOUT THIS. |
| 441 | EVERYONE WILL GO EXPECTING TO SEE ME... |
| 442 | JOE, NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO TELL. |
| 443 | MY MOM WILL. |
| 444 | THERE'S SOMETHING SO SWEET... |
| 445 | AND DISTURBING ABOUT THAT. |
| 446 | YOU KNOW, I'VE DONE NOTHING BUT CRAPPY PLAYS FOR SIX YEARS |
| 447 | AND I FINALLY GET MY SHOT, AND I BLOW IT! |
| 448 | MAYBE THIS WASN'T YOUR SHOT. |
| 449 | YEAH. I THINK WHEN IT'S YOUR SHOT |
| 450 | YOU KNOW IT'S YOUR SHOT. |
| 451 | DID... DID IT FEEL LIKE YOUR SHOT? |
| 452 | HARD TO TELL. |
| 453 | I WAS NAKED. |
| 454 | I DON'T THINK THIS WAS YOUR SHOT. |
| 455 | YOU DON'T GET JUST ONE SHOT. |
| 456 | I BELIEVE BIG THINGS WILL HAPPEN FOR YOU. |
| 457 | YOU'VE GOT TO JUST KEEP THINKING ABOUT THE DAY |
| 458 | THAT SOME KID WILL RUN UP TO HIS FRIENDS AND GO |
| 459 | "I GOT THE PART! |
| 460 | I'M GOING TO BE JOEY TRIBBIANI'S ASS!" |
| 461 | YOU THINK? THAT'S SO NICE! |
| 462 | OH... |
| 463 | I'M SORRY, JOEY. |
| 464 | I'M GOING TO GO TO BED, GUYS. |
| 465 | GOOD NIGHT, MONICA. |
| 466 | YOU'RE LEAVING YOUR SHOES OUT HERE? |
| 467 | OH. |
| 468 | UH-HUH. |
| 469 | REALLY? JUST CASUALLY STREWN ABOUT |
| 470 | IN THAT RECKLESS HAPHAZARD MANNER? |
| 471 | IT DOESN'T MATTER. |
| 472 | I'LL GET THEM TOMORROW... OR NOT. |
| 473 | WHENEVER. |
| 474 | SHE IS A KOOK. |
| 475 | Monica: MM-HMM. |
| 476 | THEY'RE ONLY SHOES. |
| 477 | IF IT BOTHERS YOU THAT MUCH, JUST GO OUT AND GET THEM. |
| 478 | NO. DON'T DO THIS. |
| 479 | THIS IS STUPID! |
| 480 | I DON'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING. |
| 481 | I'M GOING TO GO GET THEM. |
| 482 | BUT THEN EVERYONE WILL KNOW. |
| 483 | UNLESS I WAKE UP REALLY EARLY AND PUT THEM BACK. |
| 484 | I NEED HELP. |
| 485 | [Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation] |
| 486 | |
| 1 | EVERYBODY? SHH, SHH. |
| 2 | CENTRAL PERK IS PROUD TO PRESENT |
| 3 | THE MUSIC OF MISS PHOEBE BUFFAY! |
| 4 | HI. I WANT TO START WITH A SONG THAT'S ABOUT THAT MOMENT |
| 5 | WHEN YOU SUDDENLY REALIZE WHAT LIFE IS REALLY ALL ABOUT. |
| 6 | OKAY. HERE WE GO. |
| 7 | OKAY. |
| 8 | THANK YOU VERY MUCH. |
| 9 | WHAT THE..? |
| 10 | OH, GREAT. |
| 11 | THIS IS JUST... |
| 12 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 13 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 14 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 15 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 16 | ♪ WHEN IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 17 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 18 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 19 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 20 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 21 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 22 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 23 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 24 | WOW, THIS IS SO COOL. |
| 25 | THE ENTIRE CITY IS BLACKED OUT. |
| 26 | MOM SAYS IT'S ALL OF MANHATTAN, |
| 27 | PARTS OF BROOKLYN AND QUEENS, AND THEY HAVE NO IDEA |
| 28 | WHEN IT'S COMING BACK ON. |
| 29 | WOW. YOU GUYS, THIS IS BIG. |
| 30 | PANTS AND A SWEATER? WHY, MOM? |
| 31 | WHO AM I GOING TO MEET IN A BLACKOUT-- |
| 32 | POWER COMPANY GUYS? ELIGIBLE LOOTERS? |
| 33 | CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER? |
| 34 | OKAY. |
| 35 | CAN I BORROW THE PHONE? |
| 36 | I WANT TO CALL MY APARTMENT |
| 37 | AND CHECK ON MY GRANDMA. |
| 38 | SURE. |
| 39 | WHAT'S MY NUMBER? |
| 40 | WELL, I NEVER CALL ME. |
| 41 | OH, MY GOD. IT'S HER. |
| 42 | IT'S THAT VICTORIA'S SECRET MODEL-- |
| 43 | SOMETHING "GOODACRE." |
| 44 | HI, MOM. IT'S JILL. |
| 45 | SHE'S RIGHT. IT'S JILL, JILL GOODACRE. |
| 46 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 47 | I AM TRAPPED IN AN A.T.M. VESTIBULE |
| 48 | WITH JILL GOODACRE. |
| 49 | IS IT A VESTIBULE? |
| 50 | MAYBE IT'S AN ATRIUM. |
| 51 | YEAH. THAT IS THE PART TO FOCUS ON, YOU IDIOT. |
| 52 | YEAH, I'M FINE. |
| 53 | I'M STUCK AT THE BANK IN AN A.T.M. VESTIBULE. |
| 54 | JILL SAYS "VESTIBULE." |
| 55 | I'M GOING WITH "VESTIBULE." |
| 56 | I'M FINE. |
| 57 | NO, I'M NOT ALONE. |
| 58 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 59 | SOME GUY. |
| 60 | OH! "SOME GUY." |
| 61 | I AM "SOME GUY." |
| 62 | "HEY, JILL, I SAW YOU WITH SOME GUY LAST NIGHT. |
| 63 | YES. HE WAS SOME GUY." |
| 64 | HI, EVERYONE. |
| 65 | AND OFFICIATING AT TONIGHT'S BLACKOUT |
| 66 | IS RABBI TRIBBIANI. |
| 67 | WELL, CHANDLER'S OLD ROOMMATE WAS JEWISH, |
| 68 | AND THESE ARE OUR ONLY CANDLES. |
| 69 | SO, HAPPY HANUKKAH, EVERYONE. |
| 70 | EWW, LOOK. UGLY NAKED GUY |
| 71 | LIT A BUNCH OF CANDLES. |
| 72 | OOH... OOH... |
| 73 | All: OOH! |
| 74 | OH, THAT HAD TO HURT! |
| 75 | ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. |
| 76 | IT'S BEEN 14 1/2 MINUTES |
| 77 | AND YOU STILL HAVE NOT SAID ONE WORD. |
| 78 | OH, GOD. DO SOMETHING. |
| 79 | JUST MAKE CONTACT. SMILE. |
| 80 | THERE YOU GO. |
| 81 | YOU'RE DEFINITELY SCARING HER. |
| 82 | UH, WOULD YOU LIKE TO CALL SOMEBODY? |
| 83 | YEAH. ABOUT 300 GUYS I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH. |
| 84 | YEAH, THANKS. |
| 85 | ( ringing ) |
| 86 | HELLO. |
| 87 | HEY, IT'S ME. |
| 88 | IT'S CHANDLER. |
| 89 | ARE YOU OKAY? |
| 90 | YEAH, I'M FINE. |
| 91 | ( mumbling ): I'M STUCK IN AN A.T.M. VESTIBULE |
| 92 | WITH JILL GOODACRE. |
| 93 | WHAT?! |
| 94 | ( mumbling ): I'M STUCK IN AN A.T.M. VESTIBULE |
| 95 | WITH JILL GOODACRE. |
| 96 | I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU SAID. |
| 97 | PUT JOEY ON THE PHONE. |
| 98 | WHAT'S UP, MAN? |
| 99 | ( mumbling ): I'M STUCK... |
| 100 | IN AN A.T.M. VESTIBULE |
| 101 | WITH JILL GOODACRE. |
| 102 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 103 | HE'S TRAPPED IN AN A.T.M. VESTIBULE |
| 104 | WITH JILL GOODACRE! |
| 105 | CHANDLER, LISTEN, LISTEN! |
| 106 | ( mumbling ) |
| 107 | YEAH, LIKE THAT THOUGHT NEVER ENTERED MY MIND. |
| 108 | Rachel: OKAY, SOMEBODY, SOMEBODY. |
| 109 | I'LL GO, I'LL GO. |
| 110 | SENIOR YEAR OF COLLEGE ON A POOL TABLE. |
| 111 | POOL TABLE! OOH-HOO! |
| 112 | THAT'S MY SISTER. |
| 113 | OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. |
| 114 | MY WEIRDEST PLACE WOULD HAVE TO BE... |
| 115 | THE WOMEN'S ROOM ON THE SECOND FLOOR |
| 116 | OF THE NEW YORK CITY PUBLIC LIBRARY. |
| 117 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 118 | WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN A LIBRARY? |
| 119 | HEY, PHEEBS, WHAT ABOUT YOU? |
| 120 | OH, UM, MILWAUKEE. |
| 121 | UM, ROSS? |
| 122 | DISNEYLAND, 1989-- |
| 123 | "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL." |
| 124 | NO WAY. |
| 125 | YEAH, THE RIDE BROKE DOWN |
| 126 | SO CAROL AND I WENT |
| 127 | BEHIND A COUPLE OF THOSE MECHANICAL |
| 128 | DUTCH CHILDREN. |
| 129 | THEY FIXED THE RIDE |
| 130 | AND WE WERE ASKED NEVER TO RETURN |
| 131 | TO THE MAGIC KINGDOM. |
| 132 | OOH, RACHEL? |
| 133 | COME ON, I ALREADY WENT. |
| 134 | YOU DID NOT. |
| 135 | YES, I DID. |
| 136 | COME ON. |
| 137 | ALL RIGHT, UH... |
| 138 | THE WEIRDEST PLACE WOULD HAVE TO BE |
| 139 | OH... THE FOOT OF THE BED. |
| 140 | STEP BACK. |
| 141 | WE HAVE A WINNER. |
| 142 | I'VE NEVER HAD A RELATIONSHIP |
| 143 | WITH THAT KIND OF PASSION |
| 144 | WHERE YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMEBODY RIGHT THERE IN THE MIDDLE |
| 145 | OF A THEME PARK. |
| 146 | WELL, IT WAS THE ONLY THING TO DO THERE |
| 147 | THAT DIDN'T HAVE A LINE. |
| 148 | WELL, SEE? BARRY WOULDN'T EVEN KISS ME |
| 149 | ON A MINIATURE GOLF COURSE. |
| 150 | COME ON. |
| 151 | NO. |
| 152 | HE SAID WE WERE HOLDING UP THE PEOPLE BEHIND US. |
| 153 | AND YOU DIDN'T MARRY HIM BECAUSE... |
| 154 | DO YOU THINK THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT GO THROUGH LIFE |
| 155 | NEVER HAVING THAT KIND OF..? |
| 156 | PROBABLY. |
| 157 | REALLY? |
| 158 | BUT I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING-- |
| 159 | PASSION IS WAY OVERRATED. |
| 160 | YEAH, RIGHT. |
| 161 | IT IS. EVENTUALLY, IT KIND OF BURNS OUT |
| 162 | BUT, HOPEFULLY |
| 163 | WHAT YOU'RE LEFT WITH IS TRUST AND SECURITY |
| 164 | AND, WELL, IN THE CASE |
| 165 | OF MY EX-WIFE, LESBIANISM. |
| 166 | SO FOR ALL THOSE WHO MISS OUT ON THAT PASSION THING |
| 167 | THERE'S ALL THAT OTHER GOOD STUFF. |
| 168 | OKAY. |
| 169 | BUT I DON'T THINK THAT WILL BE YOU. |
| 170 | YOU DON'T? |
| 171 | HMM. |
| 172 | SEE, I SEE, UH... BIG PASSION IN YOUR FUTURE. |
| 173 | REALLY? MM-HMM. |
| 174 | YOU DO? I DO. |
| 175 | OH, ROSS, YOU'RE SO GREAT. |
| 176 | IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. |
| 177 | WHAT? |
| 178 | YOU AND RACHEL. |
| 179 | WHA... ME AND RA... WHA..? |
| 180 | WHY NOT? |
| 181 | BECAUSE YOU WAITED TOO LONG TO MAKE YOUR MOVE |
| 182 | AND NOW YOU'RE IN "THE FRIEND ZONE." |
| 183 | NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT IN THE ZONE. |
| 184 | NO. ROSS, YOU'RE MAYOR OF THE ZONE. |
| 185 | LOOK, I'M TAKING MY TIME, ALL RIGHT? |
| 186 | I'M LAYING THE GROUNDWORK. |
| 187 | YEAH, EVERY DAY, I GET JUST A LITTLE BIT CLOSER TO... |
| 188 | PRIESTHOOD. |
| 189 | ROSS, I'M TELLING YOU, SHE HAS NO IDEA |
| 190 | WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. |
| 191 | IF YOU DON'T ASK HER OUT SOON |
| 192 | YOU'LL END UP STUCK IN THE ZONE FOREVER. |
| 193 | I WILL, I WILL. |
| 194 | I'M JUST... SEE, I'M WAITING FOR THE, UH... |
| 195 | THE RIGHT MOMENT. |
| 196 | ( sighs ) |
| 197 | WHAT? |
| 198 | WHAT? NOW? |
| 199 | DUH..! |
| 200 | WHAT'S MESSING YOU UP? |
| 201 | THE WINE, THE CANDLES, THE MOONLIGHT, HUH? |
| 202 | JUST GO UP TO HER AND SAY, "LOOK, RACHEL..." |
| 203 | SHH-SHH-SHH! |
| 204 | SHH-SHH-SHH! |
| 205 | WHAT ARE WE SHUSHING? |
| 206 | WE'RE SHUSHING BECAUSE... WE'RE TRYING TO HEAR SOMETHING. |
| 207 | WHAT? |
| 208 | SHH. |
| 209 | DON'T YOU HEAR THAT? |
| 210 | AHH! |
| 211 | SEE? |
| 212 | WOULD YOU LIKE SOME GUM? |
| 213 | OH, IS IT SUGARLESS? |
| 214 | NO. SORRY, IT'S NOT. |
| 215 | THEN, NO THANKS. |
| 216 | WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? |
| 217 | IF JILL GOODACRE OFFERS YOU GUM, YOU TAKE IT. |
| 218 | IF SHE OFFERS YOU MANGLED ANIMAL CARCASS, YOU TAKE IT. |
| 219 | Phoebe: ♪ NEW YORK CITY HAS NO POWER ♪ |
| 220 | ♪ AND THE MILK IS GETTING SOUR ♪ |
| 221 | ♪ BUT TO ME IT IS NOT SCARY ♪ |
| 222 | ♪ 'CAUSE I STAY AWAY FROM DAIRY... ♪ |
| 223 | ♪ LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA-LA... ♪ |
| 224 | OKAY, HERE GOES. |
| 225 | YOU GONNA DO IT? I'M GONNA DO IT. |
| 226 | WANT ME TO HELP? |
| 227 | YOU COME OUT THERE YOU'RE A DEAD MAN. |
| 228 | ROSS... |
| 229 | GOOD LUCK, MAN. |
| 230 | THANKS. |
| 231 | OKAY. |
| 232 | OKAY. |
| 233 | WHERE YOU GOING? |
| 234 | OUTSIDE. |
| 235 | YOU CAN'T GO OUT THERE. |
| 236 | WHY NOT? |
| 237 | BECAUSE OF, UH... THE REASON. |
| 238 | AND THAT WOULD BE? |
| 239 | I, UH... I CAN'T TELL YOU. |
| 240 | JOEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 241 | OKAY, LISTEN, YOU GOT TO PROMISE |
| 242 | YOU'LL NEVER, EVER TELL ROSS THAT I TOLD YOU. |
| 243 | ABOUT WHAT? |
| 244 | HE'S PLANNING YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY. |
| 245 | OH, MY GOD, I LOVE HIM. |
| 246 | AND YOU BETTER ACT SURPRISED. |
| 247 | ABOUT WHAT? |
| 248 | MY SURPRISE PARTY. |
| 249 | WHAT SURPRISE PARTY? |
| 250 | OH, STOP IT. |
| 251 | JOEY ALREADY TOLD ME. |
| 252 | WELL, HE DIDN'T TELL ME. |
| 253 | HEY, DON'T LOOK AT ME. |
| 254 | THIS IS ROSS'S THING. |
| 255 | THIS IS SO TYPICAL. |
| 256 | I'M THE LAST ONE TO KNOW EVERYTHING. |
| 257 | YOU ARE NOT. WE TELL YOU STUFF. |
| 258 | YUH-HUH. I WAS THE LAST TO KNOW |
| 259 | WHEN CHANDLER GOT BIT BY THE PEACOCK AT THE ZOO. |
| 260 | LAST TO KNOW YOU HAD A CRUSH ON JOEY |
| 261 | WHEN HE WAS MOVING IN. |
| 262 | WHAT? |
| 263 | OH, LOOKS LIKE I WAS SECOND TO LAST. |
| 264 | MMM, SO NICE. |
| 265 | MM. |
| 266 | HEY, I HAVE A QUESTION. |
| 267 | WELL, ACTUALLY, IT'S NOT SO MUCH A QUESTION |
| 268 | AS MORE OF A GENERAL WONDERING... MENT. |
| 269 | OKAY. |
| 270 | OKAY. |
| 271 | UH, HERE GOES. |
| 272 | UM, WELL, FOR A WHILE NOW, I'VE BEEN WANTING TO, UM... |
| 273 | OH... |
| 274 | YES, YES. |
| 275 | OH, WOOK AT |
| 276 | THE WIDDLE KITTY. |
| 277 | WHAT? |
| 278 | ( yells ) |
| 279 | ♪ ...TOP OF THE WORLD LOOKING ♪ |
| 280 | ♪ DOWN ON CREATION ♪ |
| 281 | ♪ AND THE ONLY EXPLANATION I CAN FIND ♪ |
| 282 | ♪ IS THE LOVE THAT I'VE FOUND ♪ |
| 283 | ♪ EVER SINCE YOU'VE BEEN AROUND... ♪ |
| 284 | THIS IS JUST BACTINE. |
| 285 | IT WON'T HURT. |
| 286 | OW, OW. |
| 287 | SORRY. THAT WAS WAX. |
| 288 | THIS POOR LITTLE TOOTY |
| 289 | IS SCARED TO DEATH. |
| 290 | WE SHOULD FIND HIS OWNER. |
| 291 | LET'S PUT THE POOR LITTLE TOOTY IN THE HALL. |
| 292 | DURING A BLACKOUT? |
| 293 | SHE'LL GET TRAMPLED. |
| 294 | YEAH..? |
| 295 | ON SECOND THOUGHT, GUM WOULD BE PERFECTION. |
| 296 | "GUM WOULD BE PERFECTION"? |
| 297 | "GUM WOULD BE PERFECTION." |
| 298 | COULD HAVE SAID, "GUM WOULD BE NICE." |
| 299 | COULD HAVE SAID, "I'LL HAVE A STICK." |
| 300 | BUT NO, NO, NO, NO, FOR ME GUM IS PERFECTION. |
| 301 | I LOATHE MYSELF. |
| 302 | OH, NO. THE MELLMANS. |
| 303 | THEY HATE ALL LIVING THINGS. |
| 304 | ( sighs ) |
| 305 | HI. WE JUST FOUND THIS CAT. |
| 306 | WE'RE LOOKING FOR THE OWNER. |
| 307 | UM, YEAH, IT'S, UH, IT'S MINE. |
| 308 | IT SEEMS TO HATE YOU. |
| 309 | ARE YOU SURE? |
| 310 | YEAH. GIVE ME MY CAT. |
| 311 | WELL, WAIT A MINUTE. |
| 312 | WHAT'S HIS NAME? |
| 313 | UM, BU-- BUTTONS. |
| 314 | BOB BUTTONS? |
| 315 | UH-HUH. BOB BUTTONS. |
| 316 | OHH! |
| 317 | YOU ARE A VERY BAD MAN. |
| 318 | YOU OWE ME A CAT. |
| 319 | HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY. |
| 320 | HERE, KITTY, KITTY. |
| 321 | WHERE DID YOU GO, LITTLE KITTY, KITTY, KITTY? |
| 322 | ( making kissing noises ) |
| 323 | KITTY, KITTY, KITTY. |
| 324 | COME HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY |
| 325 | KITTY... KITTY... KITTY... KITTY... |
| 326 | KITTY... |
| 327 | HI. |
| 328 | BENE SERA. |
| 329 | OH, WOW. |
| 330 | COME ON, LUCKY SIXES. |
| 331 | EVERYBODY? |
| 332 | THIS IS PAOLO. |
| 333 | PAOLO, I WANT YOU |
| 334 | TO MEET MY FRIENDS. |
| 335 | THIS IS MONICA. |
| 336 | HI. |
| 337 | AND JOEY. |
| 338 | HI. |
| 339 | AND ROSS. |
| 340 | HI. |
| 341 | ( speaking Italian ) |
| 342 | HE DOESN'T SPEAK MUCH ENGLISH. |
| 343 | MONOPOLY. |
| 344 | ( laughing ) |
| 345 | LOOK AT THAT. |
| 346 | SO, UH... |
| 347 | WHERE DID, UH, PAOLO COME FROM? |
| 348 | UH, ITALY, I THINK. |
| 349 | NO, I MEAN TONIGHT, IN THE BUILDING... |
| 350 | SUDDENLY INTO OUR LIVES. |
| 351 | WELL, THAT CAT. |
| 352 | THE CAT TURNED OUT TO BE PAOLO'S CAT. |
| 353 | ISN'T THAT FUNNY? |
| 354 | HA! |
| 355 | THAT-- THAT IS FUNNY |
| 356 | AND RACHEL KEEPS TOUCHING HIM. |
| 357 | I LOOKED ALL OVER THE BUILDING |
| 358 | AND I COULDN'T FIND THE KITTY ANYWHERE. |
| 359 | I FOUND HIM. IT WAS PAOLO'S CAT. |
| 360 | AH, WELL, THERE YOU GO-- LAST TO KNOW AGAIN. |
| 361 | AND I'M GUESSING SINCE NOBODY TOLD ME |
| 362 | THIS IS PAOLO. |
| 363 | OH, PAOLO. |
| 364 | THIS IS PHOEBE. |
| 365 | HI. |
| 366 | ( speaking Italian ) |
| 367 | YOU BETCHA. |
| 368 | ALL RIGHT, OKAY. |
| 369 | WHAT NEXT? |
| 370 | BLOW A BUBBLE. |
| 371 | A BUBBLE'S GOOD. |
| 372 | IT'S GOT A BOYISH CHARM. |
| 373 | IT'S IMPISH. |
| 374 | HERE WE GO. |
| 375 | NICE GOING, IMP. |
| 376 | OKAY, IT'S OKAY. |
| 377 | ALL I NEED TO DO IS |
| 378 | REACH OVER AND PUT IT BACK |
| 379 | IN MY MOUTH. |
| 380 | GOOD SAVE. |
| 381 | WE'RE BACK ON TRACK, AND I'M... |
| 382 | CHEWING SOMEONE ELSE'S GUM. |
| 383 | GOD! OH, THIS IS NOT MY GUM! |
| 384 | OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! |
| 385 | AND NOW YOU'RE CHOKING. |
| 386 | ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? |
| 387 | OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE CHOKING! |
| 388 | ( groaning ) |
| 389 | BETTER? |
| 390 | YES. |
| 391 | THANK YOU. THAT WAS... |
| 392 | THAT WAS... |
| 393 | PERFECTION? |
| 394 | ( speaking Italian ) |
| 395 | BLAH-BLAH-BLAH- BLAH-BLAH. |
| 396 | BLAH-BLAH-BLAH- BLAH-BLAH-BLAH. |
| 397 | BL-BL-BL-BL-BLAH. |
| 398 | HEY, WHAT DID HE SAY THAT WAS SO FUNNY? |
| 399 | I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA. |
| 400 | THAT'S, THAT'S CLASSIC. |
| 401 | MY GOD, YOU GUYS, WHAT AM I DOING? |
| 402 | THIS IS SO UN-ME. |
| 403 | IF YOU WANT, I'LL DO IT. |
| 404 | I KNOW. |
| 405 | I JUST WANT TO BITE HIS BOTTOM LIP. |
| 406 | BUT I WON'T. |
| 407 | WHEN HE FIRST SMILED |
| 408 | THOSE THREE SECONDS WERE MORE EXCITING |
| 409 | THAN THREE WEEKS IN BERMUDA WITH BARRY. |
| 410 | DID YOU RENT MOPEDS? |
| 411 | 'CAUSE I'VE HEARD... |
| 412 | IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW. OKAY. |
| 413 | I KNOW IT'S TOTALLY SUPERFICIAL AND WE HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON |
| 414 | AND WE DON'T EVEN SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE |
| 415 | BUT, GOD! |
| 416 | PAOLO, HI. |
| 417 | ROSS. |
| 418 | LISTEN, UH... |
| 419 | LISTEN, UM, SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW. |
| 420 | UH, RACHEL AND I ARE... |
| 421 | WE'RE KIND OF A... |
| 422 | KIND OF A THING. |
| 423 | THING? |
| 424 | THING. YES, THING. |
| 425 | YOU HAVE THE SEX. |
| 426 | NO. |
| 427 | NO, NO, UM... |
| 428 | TECHNICALLY THE, THE SEX IS NOT BEING HAD |
| 429 | BUT THAT'S, UH... |
| 430 | SEE, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. |
| 431 | SEE, UM, THE POINT IS, UH... |
| 432 | WELL, RACHEL AND I SHOULD BE, UH... |
| 433 | WELL, RACHEL AND I SHOULD BE TOGETHER, YOU KNOW? |
| 434 | AND IF YOU GET IN THE, UM... |
| 435 | IN BED. |
| 436 | NO. |
| 437 | ( laughs ) |
| 438 | NO, NOT WHERE I WAS GOING. |
| 439 | UH, IF YOU GET IN THE WAY... |
| 440 | WAY OF US BECOMING A THING |
| 441 | THEN, UH, I WOULD BE, WELL, VERY SAD. |
| 442 | OH, OH. |
| 443 | SO DO YOU, UM... |
| 444 | CEVICHE? |
| 445 | SI, SI. |
| 446 | SI? |
| 447 | SI. |
| 448 | OKAY. |
| 449 | SO YOU, UH... YOU DO KNOW A LITTLE ENGLISH. |
| 450 | POCO. LITTLE. |
| 451 | DO YOU KNOW THE WORD "CRAPWEASEL"? |
| 452 | NO. |
| 453 | NO? THAT'S FUNNY |
| 454 | 'CAUSE YOU ARE A HUGE CRAPWEASEL. |
| 455 | GRAZIE. |
| 456 | CHANDLER, WE'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR AN HOUR. |
| 457 | NOW WATCH. |
| 458 | OKAY. |
| 459 | READY? |
| 460 | MM-HMM. |
| 461 | OKAY, NOW TRY IT. |
| 462 | NO, WHIP IT. |
| 463 | OH, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. |
| 464 | THE LAST CANDLE'S ABOUT TO BURN OUT. |
| 465 | TEN, NINE |
| 466 | EIGHT, SEVEN... |
| 467 | MINUS 46, MINUS 47 |
| 468 | MINUS 48... |
| 469 | ( blowing ) |
| 470 | Ross: THANK YOU. Monica: THANKS. |
| 471 | Ross: KIND OF SPOOKY WITHOUT ANY LIGHTS. |
| 472 | Joey: MWAAAHH! HA-HA-HA! |
| 473 | Monica: MWAAAHH! HA-HA-HA! |
| 474 | Ross: GUYS, GUYS, I HAVE THE DEFINITIVE ONE. |
| 475 | BWAAAAA! |
| 476 | HA-HA..! |
| 477 | ( groaning ) |
| 478 | UH, ROSS, |
| 479 | THIS PROBABLY ISN'T THE BEST TIME |
| 480 | TO BRING IT UP |
| 481 | BUT YOU HAVE TO THROW A PARTY FOR MONICA. |
| 482 | WELL, THIS HAS BEEN FUN. |
| 483 | YES, AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME USE YOUR PHONE |
| 484 | AND FOR SAVING MY LIFE. |
| 485 | WELL, GOOD-BYE, CHANDLER. |
| 486 | I HAD A GREAT BLACKOUT. |
| 487 | SEE YA. |
| 488 | HI. |
| 489 | I'M ACCOUNT NUMBER 7143457 |
| 490 | AND I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GOT ANY OF THAT |
| 491 | BUT I WOULD REALLY LIKE A COPY OF THE TAPE. |
| 492 | |
| 1 | HEY, GORGEOUS. HOW'S IT GOING? |
| 2 | DEHYDRATED JAPANESE NOODLES UNDER FLUORESCENT LIGHTS. |
| 3 | DOES IT GET BETTER THAN THIS? |
| 4 | YOU'RE NOT DATING ANYBODY, ARE YOU? |
| 5 | I MET SOMEBODY WHO WOULD BE PERFECT FOR YOU. |
| 6 | AH. YOU SEE, "PERFECT" MIGHT BE A PROBLEM. |
| 7 | HAD YOU SAID "CO-DEPENDENT" OR "SELF-DESTRUCTIVE"... |
| 8 | DO YOU WANT A DATE SATURDAY? |
| 9 | YES, PLEASE. |
| 10 | OKAY. HE IS CUTE |
| 11 | HE'S FUNNY, HE'S... |
| 12 | HE'S A HE? |
| 13 | WELL, YEAH. |
| 14 | OH, GOD. |
| 15 | I JUST... I THOUGHT... |
| 16 | YOU'RE NOT. SO. |
| 17 | GOOD, SHELLY. OKAY. |
| 18 | I'M JUST GOING TO GO FLUSH MYSELF DOWN THE TOILET NOW. |
| 19 | OKAY. BYE-BYE. |
| 20 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 21 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 22 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 23 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 24 | ♪ WHEN IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 25 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 26 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 27 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 28 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 29 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 30 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 31 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 32 | Chandler: I MEAN, IS THAT RIDICULOUS? |
| 33 | CAN YOU BELIEVE SHE ACTUALLY THOUGHT THAT? |
| 34 | UM... |
| 35 | YEAH. |
| 36 | WELL, I MEAN, WHEN I FIRST MET YOU, |
| 37 | YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT MAYBE... POSSIBLY YOU MIGHT BE. |
| 38 | YOU DID? |
| 39 | YEAH. THEN YOU SPENT |
| 40 | PHOEBE'S ENTIRE BIRTHDAY PARTY |
| 41 | TALKING TO MY BREASTS |
| 42 | SO THEN I FIGURED MAYBE NOT. |
| 43 | DID ANY OF THE REST OF YOU GUYS THINK THAT |
| 44 | WHEN YOU FIRST MET ME? |
| 45 | I DID. |
| 46 | YEAH. I THINK SO. |
| 47 | NOT ME. |
| 48 | NO, NO. ME NEITHER. |
| 49 | ALTHOUGH, UH, |
| 50 | YOU KNOW, BACK IN COLLEGE, SUSAN SALIDOR DID. |
| 51 | YOU'RE KIDDING. |
| 52 | DID YOU TELL HER I WASN'T? |
| 53 | NO. |
| 54 | WELL, IT'S JUST 'CAUSE |
| 55 | I KIND OF WANTED TO GO OUT WITH HER TOO |
| 56 | SO I TOLD HER, ACTUALLY YOU WERE SEEING BERNIE SPELLMAN |
| 57 | WHO ALSO LIKED HER, SO... |
| 58 | WELL, THIS IS FASCINATING. |
| 59 | SO, UH, WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME? |
| 60 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 61 | 'CAUSE YOU'RE SMART, YOU'RE FUNNY... |
| 62 | SO IS ROSS. YOU THINK THAT ABOUT HIM? |
| 63 | YEAH! RIGHT! |
| 64 | WHAT IS IT?! |
| 65 | ( laughing ) |
| 66 | OKAY, I DON'T KNOW. |
| 67 | YOU JUST... HAVE A QUALITY. |
| 68 | YES. EXACTLY. |
| 69 | YEAH. A QUALITY. |
| 70 | "A QUALITY." GOOD. |
| 71 | BECAUSE I WAS WORRIED |
| 72 | YOU WERE GOING TO BE VAGUE ABOUT THIS. |
| 73 | ( phone rings ) |
| 74 | HELLO? |
| 75 | HELLO? |
| 76 | OH. RACHEL. |
| 77 | IT'S PAOLO CALLING FROM ROME. |
| 78 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 79 | HE'S CALLING FROM ROME! |
| 80 | BUON GIORNO, CARO MIO. |
| 81 | SO HE'S CALLING FROM ROME. |
| 82 | I COULD DO THAT. |
| 83 | YOU JUST GOTTA GO TO ROME. |
| 84 | MONICA, YOUR DAD JUST BEEPED IN |
| 85 | BUT CAN YOU MAKE IT QUICK 'CAUSE I'M TALKING TO ROME. |
| 86 | I'M TALKING TO ROME. |
| 87 | HEY, DAD. |
| 88 | WHAT'S UP? |
| 89 | OH, GOD. |
| 90 | ROSS. IT'S NANA. |
| 91 | HEY. |
| 92 | OH, HI. |
| 93 | OH, ROSS. |
| 94 | HEY, DAD. |
| 95 | SO, UH... |
| 96 | HOW'S SHE DOING? |
| 97 | THE DOCTOR SAYS IT'S A MATTER OF HOURS. |
| 98 | HOW ARE YOU, MOM? |
| 99 | ME? I'M FINE. FINE. |
| 100 | I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. |
| 101 | WHAT'S WITH YOUR HAIR? |
| 102 | WHAT? |
| 103 | WHAT'S DIFFERENT? |
| 104 | NOTHING. |
| 105 | OH. MAYBE THAT'S IT. |
| 106 | SHE'S UNBELIEVABLE! HER MOTHER IS... |
| 107 | RELAX, RELAX. |
| 108 | OKAY, WE ARE GOING TO BE HERE FOR A WHILE |
| 109 | IT LOOKS LIKE |
| 110 | AND WE STILL HAVE BOYFRIENDS |
| 111 | AND YOUR CAREER TO COVER. |
| 112 | OH, GOD. |
| 113 | ...THE FUZZY LITTLE MINTS |
| 114 | AT THE BOTTOM OF HER PURSE. |
| 115 | OH! YEAH. THEY WERE GROSS. |
| 116 | OH! YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE? |
| 117 | HER SWEET 'N LOWs-- |
| 118 | HOW SHE WAS ALWAYS STEALING THEM FROM RESTAURANTS. |
| 119 | NOT JUST RESTAURANTS-- |
| 120 | FROM OUR HOUSE. |
| 121 | MRS. GELLER? |
| 122 | Ross: SHE LOOKS SO SMALL. |
| 123 | I KNOW. |
| 124 | AT LEAST SHE'S WITH POP-POP |
| 125 | AND AUNT PHYLLIS NOW. |
| 126 | YES. |
| 127 | GOOD-BYE, NANA. |
| 128 | BYE, NANA. ( groans ) |
| 129 | ( yells ) ( screams ) |
| 130 | ROSS! |
| 131 | WHAT IS GOING ON? |
| 132 | YOU KNOW HOW THE NURSE SAID THAT NANA HAD PASSED? |
| 133 | WELL, SHE'S NOT QUITE. |
| 134 | WHAT? |
| 135 | SHE'S NOT PASSED. |
| 136 | SHE'S PRESENT. |
| 137 | SHE'S BACK. |
| 138 | WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 139 | SHE MAY HAVE DIED. |
| 140 | SHE MAY HAVE DIED? |
| 141 | WE'RE LOOKING INTO IT. |
| 142 | I'LL GO SEE. |
| 143 | THIS ALMOST NEVER HAPPENS. |
| 144 | NOW SHE'S PASSED. |
| 145 | I JUST HAVE TO KNOW, OKAY? |
| 146 | IS IT MY HAIR? |
| 147 | YES, CHANDLER, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS. |
| 148 | IT'S YOUR HAIR. |
| 149 | YEAH. YOU HAVE HOMOSEXUAL HAIR. |
| 150 | HEY. |
| 151 | HEY. |
| 152 | HI. |
| 153 | HI. |
| 154 | SO, UM, DID SHE..? |
| 155 | TWICE. |
| 156 | TWICE? |
| 157 | OH, THAT SUCKS. |
| 158 | ARE YOU GUYS OKAY? |
| 159 | I DON'T KNOW. IT'S WEIRD. |
| 160 | I MEAN, I KNOW SHE'S GONE |
| 161 | BUT I JUST DON'T FEEL, UH... |
| 162 | MAYBE SHE'S NOT REALLY GONE. |
| 163 | NO, NO. SHE'S GONE. |
| 164 | WE CHECKED. |
| 165 | A LOT. |
| 166 | NO, I MEAN, MAYBE NO ONE EVER REALLY GOES. |
| 167 | EVER SINCE MY MOM DIED |
| 168 | EVERY NOW AND THEN I GET THIS FEELING |
| 169 | THAT SHE'S, LIKE, RIGHT HERE, YOU KNOW? |
| 170 | OH! AND DEBBIE |
| 171 | MY BEST FRIEND FROM JUNIOR HIGH |
| 172 | GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING ON A MINIATURE GOLF COURSE. |
| 173 | I ALWAYS GET THIS REALLY STRONG "DEBBIE" VIBE |
| 174 | WHENEVER I USE ONE OF THOSE LITTLE YELLOW PENCILS |
| 175 | YOU KNOW? |
| 176 | I MISS HER. |
| 177 | OH. HERE, PHEEBS. |
| 178 | WANT THIS? |
| 179 | OH. THANKS. SURE. |
| 180 | I JUST SHARPENED HER THIS MORNING. |
| 181 | NOW, SEE, I DON'T BELIEVE ANY OF THAT. |
| 182 | I THINK WHEN YOU'RE DEAD, YOU'RE DEAD. |
| 183 | YOU'RE GONE. YOU'RE WORM FOOD. |
| 184 | SO CHANDLER LOOKS GAY, HUH? |
| 185 | YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHO THIS IS |
| 186 | BUT IT'S NOT DEBBIE. |
| 187 | I THOUGHT IT WAS A CLOSED CASKET. |
| 188 | WELL, THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHE CAN'T LOOK NICE. |
| 189 | OH. |
| 190 | YOU THINK YOU CAN GET IN THERE? |
| 191 | I DON'T SEE WHY NOT. |
| 192 | ( yells ) |
| 193 | HERE'S MY RETAINER! |
| 194 | I WAS JUST THINKING |
| 195 | WHEN MY TIME COMES... |
| 196 | DAD! |
| 197 | LISTEN TO ME! |
| 198 | WHEN MY TIME COMES... |
| 199 | I WANT TO BE BURIED AT SEA. |
| 200 | YOU WHAT? |
| 201 | I WANT TO BE BURIED AT SEA. |
| 202 | IT LOOKS LIKE FUN. |
| 203 | DEFINE "FUN." |
| 204 | COME ON! |
| 205 | YOU'LL MAKE A DAY OF IT. |
| 206 | YOU'LL GET A BOAT, PACK A LUNCH... |
| 207 | AND THEN WE THROW YOUR BODY IN THE WATER. |
| 208 | GEE, THAT DOES SOUND FUN. |
| 209 | EVERYONE THINKS THEY KNOW ME. |
| 210 | EVERYONE SAYS, "JACK GELLER, SO PREDICTABLE." |
| 211 | MAYBE AFTER I'M GONE, THEY'LL SAY, |
| 212 | "BURIED AT SEA. HUH." |
| 213 | THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT THEY'LL SAY. |
| 214 | I'D LIKE THAT. |
| 215 | HEY, GORGEOUS. |
| 216 | HEY. |
| 217 | LOOK, I'M SORRY ABOUT YESTERDAY. I, UH... |
| 218 | DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. |
| 219 | OTHER PEOPLE HAVE MADE THE SAME MISTAKE, SO... |
| 220 | OH! |
| 221 | OKAY! |
| 222 | PHEW! |
| 223 | SO, UH, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS ABOUT ME? |
| 224 | I DON'T KNOW, BUT YOU JUST HAVE A... |
| 225 | A QUALITY. A QUALITY. RIGHT. |
| 226 | IT'S A SHAME |
| 227 | BECAUSE YOU AND LOWELL WOULD HAVE MADE |
| 228 | A GREAT COUPLE. |
| 229 | LOWELL? FINANCIAL SERVICES LOWELL? |
| 230 | THAT'S WHO YOU SAW ME WITH? |
| 231 | WHAT? HE'S CUTE. |
| 232 | WELL, YEAH. |
| 233 | HE'S NO BRIAN IN PAYROLL. |
| 234 | IS BRIAN..? |
| 235 | NO-- I DON'T KNOW. |
| 236 | IF YOU WERE GOING TO SET ME UP |
| 237 | I'D LIKE TO THINK YOU'D SET ME UP WITH SOMEBODY LIKE HIM. |
| 238 | WELL, I THINK BRIAN'S A LITTLE |
| 239 | OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE. |
| 240 | EXCUSE ME. |
| 241 | YOU DON'T THINK I COULD GET A BRIAN? |
| 242 | BECAUSE I COULD GET A BRIAN. |
| 243 | BELIEVE YOU ME. |
| 244 | I'M REALLY NOT. |
| 245 | THIS ONE? |
| 246 | NO. |
| 247 | I HAVE SHOWN YOU EVERY DRESS WE HAVE. |
| 248 | UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR MOTHER TO SPEND ETERNITY |
| 249 | IN A LEMON-YELLOW PANTSUIT, GO WITH THE BURGUNDY. |
| 250 | WHATEVER WE PICK |
| 251 | SHE WOULD HAVE TOLD US IT'S THE WRONG ONE. |
| 252 | WE'LL GO WITH THE BURGUNDY. |
| 253 | A FINE CHOICE. |
| 254 | I'M COMING OUT. |
| 255 | WAIT! WE NEED SHOES. |
| 256 | OKAY. |
| 257 | HOW ABOUT THESE? |
| 258 | THAT'S REALLY A DAY SHOE. |
| 259 | AND WHERE SHE'S GOING, EVERYONE ELSE WILL BE DRESSIER. |
| 260 | COULD WE SEE SOMETHING IN A SLIMMER HEEL? |
| 261 | OKAY. I HAVE NOTHING IN AN EVENING SHOE |
| 262 | IN THE BURGUNDY. |
| 263 | I CAN SHOW YOU SOMETHING IN A SILVER THAT MAY WORK. |
| 264 | NO. IT REALLY SHOULD BE BURGUNDY. |
| 265 | MM. UNLESS WE GO WITH A DIFFERENT DRESS. |
| 266 | YES. |
| 267 | WAIT! |
| 268 | WAIT. I MAY HAVE SOMETHING IN THE BACK. |
| 269 | AH. |
| 270 | MY GOD. |
| 271 | IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT, DEAR? |
| 272 | YEAH. YEAH. JUST... |
| 273 | JUST NANA STUFF. |
| 274 | YOU GUYS READY? |
| 275 | MOM ALREADY CALLED |
| 276 | TO REMIND ME NOT TO WEAR MY HAIR UP. |
| 277 | YOU KNOW MY EARS AREN'T MY BEST FEATURE? |
| 278 | SOME DAYS IT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT. |
| 279 | HI. I'M SORRY I'M LATE. |
| 280 | I COULDN'T FIND MY BEARINGS. |
| 281 | OH. YOU MEAN YOUR EARRINGS? |
| 282 | WHAT DID I SAY? |
| 283 | ARE THESE THE SHOES? |
| 284 | YES. PAOLO SENT THEM FROM ITALY. |
| 285 | WHAT? WE, UH... |
| 286 | WE DON'T HAVE SHOES HERE? |
| 287 | MORNING. |
| 288 | WE READY TO GO? |
| 289 | DON'T WE LOOK NICE ALL DRESSED UP? |
| 290 | IT'S STUFF LIKE THAT, ISN'T IT? |
| 291 | IT WAS A REALLY BEAUTIFUL SERVICE. |
| 292 | IT REALLY WAS. |
| 293 | OH... COME HERE, SWEETHEART. |
| 294 | YOU KNOW... |
| 295 | I THINK IT MIGHT BE TIME FOR YOU |
| 296 | TO START USING NIGHT CREAM. |
| 297 | WHAT? |
| 298 | NOTHING-- JUST YOUR OVERCOAT |
| 299 | SOUNDS REMARKABLY LIKE BRENT MUSBURGER. |
| 300 | CHECK IT OUT. GIANTS/COWBOYS. |
| 301 | YOU'RE WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME |
| 302 | AT A FUNERAL? |
| 303 | NO, IT'S THE PREGAME. |
| 304 | I'M GOING TO WATCH IT AT THE RECEPTION. |
| 305 | YOU ARE A FRIGHTENING, FRIGHTENING MAN. |
| 306 | OH, NO! |
| 307 | MY NEW PAOLO SHOES. |
| 308 | I HOPE THEY'RE NOT RUINED. |
| 309 | GOD, WHAT A GREAT DAY. |
| 310 | WHAT? WEATHER-WISE. |
| 311 | I KNOW. |
| 312 | THE AIR, THE TREES... |
| 313 | EVEN THOUGH NANA'S GONE, THERE'S SOMETHING ALMOST... |
| 314 | I DON'T KNOW... |
| 315 | ALMOST LIFE... |
| 316 | ARE YOU OKAY? |
| 317 | ROSS! |
| 318 | I'M FINE. I'M FINE. |
| 319 | OHH. |
| 320 | I'M JUST... JUST... |
| 321 | HAVING MY WORST FEAR REALIZED. |
| 322 | OKAY, DON'T WORRY. |
| 323 | I'M CHECKING TO SEE IF THE MUSCLE'S IN SPASM. |
| 324 | HUH. |
| 325 | WHAT? WHAT IS IT? |
| 326 | YOU MISSED A BELT LOOP. |
| 327 | OH, N-N-NO. |
| 328 | OKAY, IT'S IN SPASM. |
| 329 | HERE, SWEETIE. |
| 330 | I TOOK THESE WHEN I HAD MY GOLFING ACCIDENT. |
| 331 | OH, GO. |
| 332 | SORRY. |
| 333 | HI, I'M ANDREA. |
| 334 | I'M DOROTHY'S DAUGHTER. |
| 335 | HI, I'M CHANDLER, AND... |
| 336 | I HAVE NO IDEA WHO DOROTHY IS. |
| 337 | Phoebe: HEY, LOOK WHO'S UP. |
| 338 | HEY. |
| 339 | HOW DO YOU FEEL? |
| 340 | I FEEL GREAT. |
| 341 | I FEEL GREAT. |
| 342 | I FLEEL GREAT. |
| 343 | WOW, THOSE PILLS REALLY WORKED, HUH? |
| 344 | NOT THE FIRST TWO, BUT THE SECOND TWO-- WHOO... |
| 345 | I LOVE YOU GUYS. |
| 346 | YOU GUYS ARE THE GREATEST. |
| 347 | I LOVE MY SISTER. |
| 348 | I LOVE PHEEB. |
| 349 | THAT'S SO NICE. |
| 350 | CHANDLER... |
| 351 | HEY. |
| 352 | I LOVE YOU, MAN. |
| 353 | AND LISTEN, MAN. |
| 354 | IF YOU WANT TO BE GAY, BE GAY. |
| 355 | DOESN'T MATTER TO ME. |
| 356 | YOU WERE RIGHT. |
| 357 | RACHEL. |
| 358 | RACHEL... |
| 359 | ( groans ) |
| 360 | I LOVE YOU THE MOST. |
| 361 | WELL, YOU KNOW WHO I LOVE THE MOST? |
| 362 | NO. |
| 363 | YOU. |
| 364 | OHH... |
| 365 | I DON'T GET IT. |
| 366 | WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE? |
| 367 | UH... JUST A, UH... HEARING DISABILITY. |
| 368 | WHAT'S THE SCORE? |
| 369 | 17-14, GIANTS. |
| 370 | THREE MINUTES TO GO IN THE THIRD. |
| 371 | BEAUTIFUL. |
| 372 | ( sighs ) |
| 373 | PHEEBS... |
| 374 | COULD YOU MAYBE HAND ME A CRACKER? |
| 375 | YOUR GRANDMOTHER WOULD HAVE HATED THIS. |
| 376 | WELL, SURE... |
| 377 | WHAT WITH IT BEING HER FUNERAL AND ALL. |
| 378 | NO, I'D BE HEARING ABOUT |
| 379 | "WHY DIDN'T I GET THE HONEY-GLAZED HAM?" |
| 380 | OR I DIDN'T SPEND ENOUGH ON FLOWERS. |
| 381 | IF I SPENT MORE, SHE'D BE SAYING |
| 382 | "WHY YOU WASTING YOUR MONEY? |
| 383 | I DON'T NEED FLOWERS. I'M DEAD." |
| 384 | THAT SOUNDS LIKE NANA. |
| 385 | DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GROW UP |
| 386 | WITH SOMEONE WHO IS CRITICAL OF EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SAY? |
| 387 | I CAN IMAGINE. |
| 388 | I'M TELLING YOU. |
| 389 | IT'S A WONDER YOUR MOTHER TURNED OUT TO BE |
| 390 | THE POSITIVE, LIFE-AFFIRMING PERSON SHE IS. |
| 391 | THAT IS A WONDER. |
| 392 | SO, TELL ME SOMETHING, MOM. |
| 393 | IF YOU HAD TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN-- |
| 394 | IF SHE WAS HERE RIGHT NOW-- |
| 395 | WOULD YOU TELL HER? |
| 396 | TELL HER WHAT? |
| 397 | HOW SHE DROVE YOU CRAZY? |
| 398 | PICKING ON EVERY LITTLE DETAIL |
| 399 | LIKE... YOUR HAIR, FOR EXAMPLE. |
| 400 | I'M NOT SURE I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING AT. |
| 401 | DO YOU THINK THINGS WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER |
| 402 | IF YOU'D JUST TOLD HER THE TRUTH? |
| 403 | NO. |
| 404 | I THINK SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID. |
| 405 | I THINK IT'S NICER WHEN PEOPLE JUST GET ALONG. |
| 406 | HUH. |
| 407 | MORE WINE, DEAR? |
| 408 | OH, I THINK SO. |
| 409 | THOSE EARRINGS LOOK REALLY LOVELY ON YOU. |
| 410 | THANK YOU. |
| 411 | THEY'RE YOURS. |
| 412 | ACTUALLY, THEY WERE NANA'S. |
| 413 | Men: NO! |
| 414 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 415 | NOW I'M DEPRESSED. |
| 416 | EVEN MORE THAN I WAS. |
| 417 | HEY, WHO'S THIS LITTLE NAKED GUY? |
| 418 | UH, THAT LITTLE NAKED GUY WOULD BE ME. |
| 419 | AW, LOOK AT THE LITTLE THING. |
| 420 | YES. |
| 421 | YES, FINE. |
| 422 | THAT IS MY PENIS. |
| 423 | CAN WE BE GROWN-UPS NOW? |
| 424 | WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE? |
| 425 | GOT ME. |
| 426 | OH, THAT'S NANA RIGHT THERE |
| 427 | IN THE MIDDLE. |
| 428 | LET'S SEE. |
| 429 | "ME AND THE GANG AT JAVA JOE'S." |
| 430 | MONICA, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HER. |
| 431 | HOW OLD WAS SHE THERE? |
| 432 | LET'S SEE... |
| 433 | 1939. |
| 434 | 24, 25. |
| 435 | HUH. |
| 436 | IT LOOKS LIKE A FUN GANG. |
| 437 | OOH, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. |
| 438 | I GOT MONICA NAKED. |
| 439 | Monica: LET ME SEE! |
| 440 | NO, NO. THAT WOULD BE ME AGAIN. |
| 441 | I'M, UH... JUST TRYING SOMETHING. |
| 442 | HEY, LOWELL. |
| 443 | OH, HEY, CHANDLER. |
| 444 | SO, HOW'S IT GOING |
| 445 | DOWN THERE IN FINANCIAL SERVICES? |
| 446 | IT'S LIKE MARDI GRAS |
| 447 | WITHOUT THE PAPIER-MACHE HEADS. |
| 448 | HOW ABOUT YOU? |
| 449 | GOOD, GOOD. |
| 450 | LISTEN, UM... |
| 451 | I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHELLY TOLD YOU |
| 452 | ABOUT ME, BUT, UH... |
| 453 | I'M NOT. |
| 454 | I KNOW. THAT'S WHAT I TOLD HER. |
| 455 | REALLY? |
| 456 | YEAH. |
| 457 | SO, YOU CAN TELL? |
| 458 | PRETTY MUCH. |
| 459 | MOST OF THE TIME. |
| 460 | WE HAVE A KIND OF... RADAR. |
| 461 | SO YOU DON'T THINK I HAVE A... |
| 462 | A QUALITY? |
| 463 | SPEAKING FOR MY PEOPLE... |
| 464 | I'D HAVE TO SAY NO. |
| 465 | BY THE WAY, YOUR FRIEND BRIAN FROM PAYROLL... |
| 466 | HE IS. |
| 467 | HE IS? |
| 468 | AND WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE. |
| 469 | OUT OF MY LEAGUE? |
| 470 | I COULD GET A BRIAN. |
| 471 | IF I WANTED TO GET A BRIAN, I COULD GET A BRIAN. |
| 472 | HEY, BRIAN. |
| 473 | |
| 1 | TERRY, I KNOW THAT I HAVEN'T WORKED HERE VERY LONG |
| 2 | BUT DO YOU THINK IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE |
| 3 | IF I GOT A HUNDRED-DOLLAR ADVANCE ON MY SALARY? |
| 4 | AN ADVANCE? |
| 5 | IT'S SO THAT I CAN SPEND THANKSGIVING WITH MY FAMILY. |
| 6 | SEE, EVERY YEAR WE GO SKIING IN VAIL |
| 7 | AND, NORMALLY, MY FATHER PAYS FOR MY TICKET |
| 8 | BUT I'VE SORT OF STARTED THIS WHOLE INDEPENDENT THING |
| 9 | WHICH IS ACTUALLY WHY I TOOK THIS "JOB." |
| 10 | RACHEL, RACHEL. |
| 11 | SWEETHEART. |
| 12 | YOU'RE A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE WAITRESS. |
| 13 | REALLY, REALLY AWFUL. |
| 14 | OKAY. I HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. |
| 15 | I'M WITH YOU. |
| 16 | UM... |
| 17 | BUT I'M TRYING REALLY HARD |
| 18 | AND I THINK I'M DOING BETTER. |
| 19 | I REALLY DO. |
| 20 | DOES ANYBODY NEED COFFEE? |
| 21 | OH, LOOK AT THAT. |
| 22 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 23 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 24 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 25 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 26 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 27 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 28 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 29 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 30 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 31 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 32 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 33 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 34 | EXCUSE ME, SIR. |
| 35 | YOU COME IN HERE ALL THE TIME. |
| 36 | I WAS JUST WONDERING-- |
| 37 | COULD YOU POSSIBLY GIVE ME AN ADVANCE ON MY TIPS? |
| 38 | HUH? |
| 39 | OKAY. THAT'S FINE. |
| 40 | HEY, I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT SPILL BEFORE. |
| 41 | ONLY $98.50 TO GO. |
| 42 | HEY. |
| 43 | ROSS, DID YOU KNOW THAT MOM AND DAD |
| 44 | ARE GOING TO PUERTO RICO FOR THANKSGIVING? |
| 45 | NO, THEY'RE NOT. |
| 46 | THE BLYMANS INVITED THEM. |
| 47 | YOU'RE WRONG. |
| 48 | I AM NOT WRONG. |
| 49 | YOU'RE WRONG. |
| 50 | NO. I JUST TALKED TO THEM. |
| 51 | I'M CALLING MOM. |
| 52 | HEY, HEY. |
| 53 | HEY. |
| 54 | AND THIS FROM THE CRY-FOR-HELP DEPARTMENT-- |
| 55 | ARE YOU WEARING MAKEUP? |
| 56 | YES, I AM. |
| 57 | AS OF TODAY, I AM OFFICIALLY JOEY TRIBBIANI |
| 58 | ACTOR SLASH MODEL. |
| 59 | THANK YOU. THAT'S SO FUNNY |
| 60 | 'CAUSE I WAS THINKING YOU LOOK MORE LIKE |
| 61 | JOEY TRIBBIANI, MAN SLASH WOMAN. |
| 62 | WHAT WERE YOU MODELING FOR? |
| 63 | YOU KNOW THOSE POSTERS FOR THE CITY FREE CLINIC? |
| 64 | WOW! SO YOU'LL BE ONE OF THOSE |
| 65 | HEALTHY, HEALTHY, HEALTHY GUYS? |
| 66 | YOU KNOW, THE ASTHMA GUY'S REALLY CUTE. |
| 67 | DO YOU KNOW WHICH ONE YOU'LL BE? |
| 68 | NO, BUT I HEAR LYME DISEASE IS OPEN, SO... |
| 69 | GOOD LUCK, MAN. |
| 70 | I HOPE YOU GET IT. |
| 71 | THANKS. |
| 72 | WELL, YOU WERE RIGHT. |
| 73 | HOW CAN THEY DO THIS TO US? |
| 74 | IT'S THANKSGIVING. |
| 75 | OKAY. HOW ABOUT IF I COOK DINNER AT MY PLACE? |
| 76 | I'LL MAKE IT JUST LIKE MOM'S. |
| 77 | WILL YOU MAKE THE MASHED POTATOES |
| 78 | WITH THE LUMPS? |
| 79 | THEY'RE NOT ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO HAVE... |
| 80 | I'LL WORK ON THE LUMPS. |
| 81 | JOEY, YOU'RE GOING HOME, RIGHT? |
| 82 | YEAH. |
| 83 | AND I ASSUME, CHANDLER, |
| 84 | YOU'RE STILL BOYCOTTING ALL THE PILGRIM HOLIDAYS. |
| 85 | YES. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. |
| 86 | PHOEBE, YOU'LL BE WITH YOUR GRANDMA? |
| 87 | YEAH, AND HER BOYFRIEND |
| 88 | BUT WE'RE CELEBRATING THANKSGIVING IN DECEMBER |
| 89 | 'CAUSE HE'S LUNAR. |
| 90 | SO YOU'RE FREE THURSDAY, THEN? |
| 91 | YEAH. |
| 92 | OH! CAN I COME? YES. |
| 93 | RACH, ARE YOU STILL THINKING YOU'LL MAKE IT TO VAIL? |
| 94 | ABSOLUTELY. |
| 95 | SHOOP, SHOOP, SHOOP. |
| 96 | ONLY $102 TO GO. |
| 97 | I THOUGHT IT WAS $98.50. |
| 98 | IT WAS, BUT I BROKE A CUP. |
| 99 | WELL, I'M OFF TO CAROL'S. |
| 100 | OOH! OOH! WHY DON'T WE INVITE HER? |
| 101 | "OOH! OOH!" BECAUSE SHE'S MY EX-WIFE |
| 102 | AND WILL PROBABLY WANT TO BRING HER "OOH! OOH!" |
| 103 | LESBIAN LIFE PARTNER. |
| 104 | ( knocking ) |
| 105 | HI. |
| 106 | HI. IS CAROL HERE? |
| 107 | NO, SHE'S AT A FACULTY MEETING. |
| 108 | OH. |
| 109 | WELL, I JUST CAME BY TO PICK UP MY SKULL. |
| 110 | WELL, NOT MINE, BUT... |
| 111 | COME IN. |
| 112 | THANKS. |
| 113 | CAROL BORROWED IT FOR A CLASS |
| 114 | AND I HAVE TO GET IT BACK TO THE MUSEUM. |
| 115 | WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE? |
| 116 | KIND OF LIKE A BIG FACE WITHOUT SKIN. |
| 117 | YES, I'M FAMILIAR WITH THE CONCEPT. |
| 118 | WE CAN JUST LOOK FOR IT. |
| 119 | OKAY. |
| 120 | WOW, YOU GUYS... |
| 121 | SURE HAVE A LOT OF BOOKS ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN. |
| 122 | WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE TO TAKE A COURSE. |
| 123 | OTHERWISE, THEY DON'T LET YOU DO IT. |
| 124 | HEY. |
| 125 | HEY, YERTLE THE TURTLE. |
| 126 | A CLASSIC. |
| 127 | ACTUALLY, I'M READING IT TO THE BABY. |
| 128 | THE BABY THAT HASN'T BEEN BORN YET? |
| 129 | WOULDN'T THAT MEAN YOU'RE... CRAZY? |
| 130 | WHAT, YOU DON'T THINK |
| 131 | THEY CAN HEAR SOUNDS IN THERE? |
| 132 | YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS. |
| 133 | I MEAN, YOU REALLY... YOU REALLY TALK TO IT? |
| 134 | YEAH. ALL THE TIME. |
| 135 | I WANT THE BABY TO KNOW MY VOICE. |
| 136 | DO YOU, UH... |
| 137 | DO YOU TALK ABOUT ME? |
| 138 | YEAH. ALL THE TIME. |
| 139 | REALLY? |
| 140 | BUT, UM... |
| 141 | WE JUST REFER TO YOU AS BOBO THE SPERM GUY. |
| 142 | LOOK, IF SHE'S TALKING TO IT |
| 143 | I JUST THINK I SHOULD GET SOME BELLY TIME TOO. |
| 144 | I MEAN, NOT THAT I BELIEVE ANY OF THIS. |
| 145 | OH, I BELIEVE IT. |
| 146 | I THINK THE BABY CAN TOTALLY HEAR EVERYTHING. |
| 147 | REALLY? |
| 148 | I'LL SHOW YOU. |
| 149 | THIS WILL SEEM WEIRD |
| 150 | BUT YOU PUT YOUR HEAD INSIDE THIS TURKEY |
| 151 | AND THEN WE'LL ALL TALK |
| 152 | AND YOU'LL HEAR EVERYTHING WE SAY. |
| 153 | I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY I'M... |
| 154 | I'M TOTALLY BEHIND THIS EXPERIMENT. |
| 155 | IN FACT, I'D... I'D VERY MUCH LIKE |
| 156 | TO BUTTER YOUR HEAD. |
| 157 | Ross: HI. Monica: HEY, RACH. |
| 158 | DID YOU MAKE YOUR MONEY? |
| 159 | NO, NOT EVEN CLOSE. |
| 160 | FORGET VAIL. |
| 161 | FORGET SEEING MY FAMILY. |
| 162 | FORGET SHOOP, SHOOP, SHOOP. |
| 163 | RACH... HERE'S YOUR MAIL. |
| 164 | THANKS. YOU CAN JUST PUT IT ON THE TABLE. |
| 165 | NO, HERE'S YOUR MAIL. |
| 166 | THANKS. YOU CAN JUST PUT IT ON THE TABLE. |
| 167 | WOULD YOU JUST OPEN IT?! |
| 168 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 169 | OH, YOU GUYS ARE GREAT. |
| 170 | WE ALL CHIPPED IN. |
| 171 | WE DID? |
| 172 | YOU OWE ME 20 BUCKS. |
| 173 | THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH. |
| 174 | CHANDLER, HERE YOU GO. |
| 175 | GOT YOUR TRADITIONAL HOLIDAY FEAST: TOMATO SOUP |
| 176 | YOUR GRILLED CHEESE FIXINS |
| 177 | AND YOUR FAMILY-SIZED BAG OF FUNYUNS. |
| 178 | THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE HAVING FOR THANKSGIVING? |
| 179 | WHAT'S WITH YOU AND THIS HOLIDAY? |
| 180 | ALL RIGHT. I'M NINE YEARS OLD. |
| 181 | AW, HATE THIS STORY. |
| 182 | WE'VE JUST FINISHED THANKSGIVING DINNER. |
| 183 | I HAVE-- AND I REMEMBER THIS VIVIDLY-- |
| 184 | A MOUTHFUL OF PUMPKIN PIE. |
| 185 | AND THIS IS THE MOMENT MY PARENTS CHOOSE TO TELL ME |
| 186 | THEY'RE GETTING DIVORCED. |
| 187 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 188 | YES. VERY DIFFICULT TO ENJOY THANKSGIVING DINNER |
| 189 | ONCE YOU'VE SEEN IT IN REVERSE. |
| 190 | UH, HI. |
| 191 | WE, UH... |
| 192 | WE USED TO WORK TOGETHER. |
| 193 | WE DID? |
| 194 | YEAH. AT MACY'S. |
| 195 | YOU'RE THE "OBSESSION GIRL"? |
| 196 | YES. |
| 197 | I WAS THE "ARAMIS GUY." |
| 198 | "ARAMIS |
| 199 | "ARAMIS |
| 200 | ARAMIS." |
| 201 | YEAH, RIGHT. |
| 202 | I GOT TO TELL YOU-- |
| 203 | YOU'RE THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS. |
| 204 | GET OUT. I'M SERIOUS. |
| 205 | YOU'RE AMAZING. |
| 206 | YOU KNOW WHEN TO SPRITZ. |
| 207 | YOU KNOW WHEN TO LAY BACK. |
| 208 | REALLY? YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS TO ME. |
| 209 | ( sniffing ): OOH. |
| 210 | YOU SMELL GREAT TONIGHT. |
| 211 | WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? |
| 212 | ( quietly ): NOTHING. |
| 213 | LISTEN, DO YOU WANT TO GO GET A DRINK OR SOMETHING? |
| 214 | YEAH. THAT'D BE... |
| 215 | OH. |
| 216 | WHAT'S WRONG? |
| 217 | I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. |
| 218 | OH, WHAT? |
| 219 | UM... |
| 220 | LEAVE. |
| 221 | WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! |
| 222 | ( all chuckling ) |
| 223 | ( clears throat ) |
| 224 | SO I GUESS YOU ALL SAW IT. |
| 225 | SAW WHAT? |
| 226 | NO, WE'RE JUST LAUGHING. |
| 227 | YOU KNOW HOW LAUGHTER CAN BE INFECTIOUS. |
| 228 | HEY. |
| 229 | SET ANOTHER PLACE FOR THANKSGIVING. |
| 230 | MY ENTIRE FAMILY THINKS I HAVE V.D. |
| 231 | TONIGHT, ON A VERY SPECIAL BLOSSOM... |
| 232 | MMM, LOOKING GOOD. |
| 233 | CIDER'S MULLING, TURKEY'S TURKING, YAMS ARE YAMMING. |
| 234 | WHAT? |
| 235 | IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME WITHOUT MOM IN THE KITCHEN. |
| 236 | GET OUT OF MY WAY AND STOP ANNOYING ME. |
| 237 | THAT'S CLOSER. |
| 238 | I GOT THE TICKETS. |
| 239 | FIVE HOURS FROM NOW... |
| 240 | SHOOP, SHOOP, SHOOP. |
| 241 | YOU MUST STOP SHOOPING. |
| 242 | I'M GOING TO GET MY STUFF. |
| 243 | CHANDLER, WILL YOU COME IN ALREADY? |
| 244 | I PREFER TO KEEP A SAFE DISTANCE FROM ALL THIS MERRIMENT. |
| 245 | LOOK OUT. |
| 246 | INCOMING PUMPKIN PIE. |
| 247 | ( imitating airplane engine ) |
| 248 | OKAY, WE ALL LAUGHED WHEN YOU DID IT WITH THE STUFFING |
| 249 | BUT THAT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE. |
| 250 | MONICA, I GOT A QUESTION. |
| 251 | I DON'T SEE ANY TATER TOTS. |
| 252 | THAT'S NOT A QUESTION. |
| 253 | MY MOM ALWAYS MAKES THEM. |
| 254 | IT'S A TRADITION. |
| 255 | YOU GET A LITTLE TURKEY ON YOUR FORK |
| 256 | A LITTLE CRANBERRY SAUCE AND A TOT. |
| 257 | IT'S BAD ENOUGH |
| 258 | I CAN'T BE WITH MY FAMILY |
| 259 | BECAUSE OF MY DISEASE. |
| 260 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 261 | TONIGHT'S POTATOES WILL BE BOTH MASHED WITH LUMPS |
| 262 | AND IN THE FORM OF TOTS. |
| 263 | I'M OFF TO TALK TO MY UNBORN CHILD. |
| 264 | AH! |
| 265 | MOM NEVER HIT. |
| 266 | OKAY, ALL DONE. |
| 267 | PHOEBE, DID YOU WHIP THE POT... |
| 268 | ROSS NEEDS LUMPS. |
| 269 | OH, I'M SORRY. |
| 270 | I THOUGHT WE COULD HAVE THEM WHIPPED |
| 271 | AND THEN ADD SOME PEAS AND ONIONS. |
| 272 | WHY WOULD WE DO THAT? |
| 273 | 'CAUSE THEN THEY'D BE THE WAY MY MOM USED TO MAKE IT |
| 274 | BEFORE SHE DIED. |
| 275 | OKAY, THREE KINDS OF POTATOES COMING UP. |
| 276 | OKAY, GOOD-BYE, YOU GUYS. |
| 277 | THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. |
| 278 | OH, LOOK. |
| 279 | OH, SORRY. |
| 280 | THE MOST UNBELIEVABLE THING HAS HAPPENED. |
| 281 | UNDERDOG HAS GOTTEN AWAY. |
| 282 | THE BALLOON? |
| 283 | NO, THE ACTUAL CARTOON CHARACTER. |
| 284 | OF COURSE THE BALLOON. |
| 285 | IT'S ALL OVER THE NEWS. |
| 286 | HE BROKE FREE AND WAS SPOTTED OVER WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK. |
| 287 | I'M GOING TO THE ROOF. |
| 288 | I CAN'T. I GOT TO GO. |
| 289 | AN 80-FOOT INFLATABLE DOG LOOSE OVER THE CITY? |
| 290 | HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN? |
| 291 | ALMOST NEVER. |
| 292 | GOT THE KEYS? |
| 293 | OKAY. |
| 294 | ANYTIME YOU'RE READY. |
| 295 | OKAY. |
| 296 | OKAY, HERE WE GO. |
| 297 | OKAY, WHERE AM I TALKING TO HERE? |
| 298 | I MEAN, THERE IS ONE WAY THAT SEEMS TO OFFER |
| 299 | A CERTAIN ACOUSTICAL ADVANTAGE, BUT... |
| 300 | JUST AIM FOR THE BUMP. |
| 301 | OKAY. |
| 302 | OKAY. |
| 303 | OKAY, HERE GOES. |
| 304 | YOU KNOW, I CAN'T DO THIS. |
| 305 | THIS IS... |
| 306 | IT'S TOO WEIRD. |
| 307 | I FEEL STUPID. |
| 308 | SO DON'T DO IT. |
| 309 | YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT JUST BECAUSE SUSAN DOES IT. |
| 310 | HELLO, BABY. |
| 311 | I LOVED THE GIANT DOG SHADOW OVER THE PARK. |
| 312 | DID THEY HAVE TO SHOOT HIM DOWN? |
| 313 | THAT WAS JUST MEAN. |
| 314 | RIGHT ABOUT NOW, THE TURKEY SHOULD BE CRISPY ON THE OUTSIDE |
| 315 | JUICY ON THE INSIDE. |
| 316 | WHY ARE WE STANDING HERE? |
| 317 | WE'RE WAITING FOR YOU TO OPEN THE DOOR. |
| 318 | YOU'VE GOT THE KEYS. |
| 319 | NO, I DON'T. |
| 320 | YES, YOU DO. |
| 321 | WHEN WE LEFT, YOU SAID, "GOT THE KEYS." |
| 322 | NO, I ASKED, "GOT THE KE-EYS?" |
| 323 | NO, NO, NO, YOU SAID, "GOT THE KE-EYS." |
| 324 | EITHER OF YOU HAVE THE KE-EYS? |
| 325 | THE OVEN IS ON. |
| 326 | I'VE GOT TO GET MY TICKET. |
| 327 | WE HAVE A COPY OF YOUR KEY. |
| 328 | GET IT! |
| 329 | THAT TONE WON'T MAKE ME GO ANY FASTER. |
| 330 | JOEY... |
| 331 | THAT ONE WILL. |
| 332 | AND EVERYONE'S TELLING ME, "YOU'VE GOT TO PICK A MAJOR." |
| 333 | "YOU'VE GOT TO PICK A MAJOR." |
| 334 | SO, ON A DARE, I PICKED PALEONTOLOGY. |
| 335 | AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M SAYING |
| 336 | BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT, YOU'RE A FETUS. |
| 337 | YOU'RE JUST HAPPY YOU DON'T HAVE GILLS ANYMORE. |
| 338 | LOOK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO IT. |
| 339 | YOU CAN SING TO IT. |
| 340 | I AM NOT SINGING TO YOUR STOMACH. |
| 341 | HOW'S IT GOING? |
| 342 | ♪ HERE WE COME ♪ |
| 343 | ♪ WALKIN' DOWN THE STREET ♪ |
| 344 | ♪ GET THE FUNNIEST LOOKS FROM EVERYONE WE MEET ♪ |
| 345 | ♪ HEY, HEY... ♪ |
| 346 | HEY, UH, DID YOU JUST FEEL THAT? |
| 347 | I DID. |
| 348 | DOES IT ALWAYS..? THAT WAS THE FIRST. |
| 349 | KEEP SINGING. |
| 350 | ♪ HEY, HEY, YOU'RE MY BABY ♪ |
| 351 | ♪ AND I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU ♪ |
| 352 | ♪ WHEN YOU COME OUT I'LL BUY YOU A BAGEL ♪ |
| 353 | ♪ AND THEN WE'LL GO TO THE ZOO ♪ |
| 354 | I FELT IT. |
| 355 | ♪ HEY, HEY, I'M YOUR DADDY ♪ |
| 356 | ♪ I'M THE ONE WITHOUT ANY BREASTS ♪ |
| 357 | CAN YOU GO ANY FASTER WITH THAT? |
| 358 | I GOT ONE KEY HOLE AND A ZILLION KEYS. |
| 359 | YOU DO THE MATH. |
| 360 | WHY DO YOU GUYS HAVE SO MANY KEYS IN THERE ANYWAY? |
| 361 | FOR AN EMERGENCY JUST LIKE THIS. |
| 362 | ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, SMIRKY, IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU |
| 363 | AND YOUR STUPID BALLOON, I WOULD BE ON A PLANE |
| 364 | WATCHING A WOMAN DO THIS RIGHT NOW |
| 365 | BUT I'M NOT. |
| 366 | I SWEAR YOU SAID YOU HAD THE KEYS. |
| 367 | I WOULDN'T SAY THAT UNLESS I HAD THE KEYS. |
| 368 | AND I DID NOT HAVE THE KEYS! |
| 369 | ENOUGH WITH THE KEYS. NO ONE SAY "KEYS." |
| 370 | WHY WOULD I HAVE THE KEYS? |
| 371 | ASIDE FROM YOUR SAYING YOU HAD THEM? |
| 372 | BUT I DIDN'T. |
| 373 | YOU SHOULD HAVE. |
| 374 | WHY? BECAUSE. |
| 375 | BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS MY RESPONSIBILITY? |
| 376 | ISN'T IT ENOUGH THAT I'M MAKING |
| 377 | THANKSGIVING DINNER FOR EVERYONE? |
| 378 | EVERYONE WANTS A DIFFERENT KIND OF POTATO. |
| 379 | SO I'M MAKING DIFFERENT KINDS OF POTATOES. |
| 380 | DOES ANYBODY CARE WHAT KIND OF POTATOES I WANT? |
| 381 | NO! NO! NO! |
| 382 | JUST AS LONG AS PHOEBE |
| 383 | GETS HER PEAS AND ONIONS |
| 384 | AND MARIO GETS HIS TOTS. |
| 385 | IT'S MY FIRST THANKSGIVING |
| 386 | AND IT'S ALL BURNED AND... |
| 387 | ( high pitched ): AND I... |
| 388 | OKAY, MONICA, ONLY DOGS CAN HEAR YOU NOW. |
| 389 | THE DOOR'S OPEN. |
| 390 | OH, GOD. |
| 391 | WELL, THE TURKEY'S BURNT. |
| 392 | POTATOES ARE RUINED. POTATOES ARE RUINED. POTATOES ARE RUINED. |
| 393 | ♪ HERE WE COME ♪ |
| 394 | ♪ WALKIN' DOWN THE... ♪ |
| 395 | THIS DOESN'T SMELL LIKE MOM'S. |
| 396 | NO, IT DOESN'T, DOES IT? |
| 397 | BUT YOU WANTED LUMPS, ROSS? |
| 398 | HERE YOU GO, BUDDY. YOU GOT ONE. |
| 399 | GOD, THIS IS GREAT. |
| 400 | THE PLANE IS GONE |
| 401 | I GUESS I'M STUCK HERE WITH YOU GUYS. |
| 402 | WE ALL HAD BETTER PLANS. |
| 403 | THIS WAS NOBODY'S FIRST CHOICE. |
| 404 | OH, REALLY? |
| 405 | SO WHY WAS I BUSTING MY ASS TO MAKE THIS DELICIOUS DINNER? |
| 406 | YOU CALL THAT DELICIOUS? |
| 407 | ( all shouting ) |
| 408 | STOP IT! STOP IT! |
| 409 | NOW, THIS FEELS LIKE THANKSGIVING. |
| 410 | EW! |
| 411 | WHAT? |
| 412 | UGLY NAKED GUY'S TAKING HIS TURKEY |
| 413 | OUT OF THE OVEN. |
| 414 | ( all groan ) |
| 415 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 416 | HE'S NOT ALONE. |
| 417 | UGLY NAKED GUY |
| 418 | IS HAVING THANKSGIVING DINNER |
| 419 | WITH UGLY NAKED GAL. |
| 420 | I'VE GOT TO SEE THIS. |
| 421 | ( all gasping ) |
| 422 | ALL RIGHT, UGLY NAKED GUY! |
| 423 | UGLY NAKED DANCING. |
| 424 | IT'S NICE THAT HE HAS SOMEONE. |
| 425 | SHALL I CARVE? |
| 426 | BY ALL MEANS. |
| 427 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 428 | OKAY. WHO WANTS LIGHT CHEESE? |
| 429 | AND WHO WANTS DARK CHEESE? |
| 430 | I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW |
| 431 | ABOUT THE DARK CHEESE. |
| 432 | ANYBODY WANT TO SPLIT THIS? |
| 433 | OH. I WILL. |
| 434 | MAKE A WISH. |
| 435 | MAKE A WISH? |
| 436 | COME ON. YOU KNOW-- THANKSGIVING. |
| 437 | OOH! YOU GOT THE BIGGER HALF. |
| 438 | WHAT'D YOU WISH? |
| 439 | FOR THE BIGGER HALF. |
| 440 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 441 | I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST. |
| 442 | LITTLE TOAST HERE. |
| 443 | I KNOW THIS ISN'T EXACTLY |
| 444 | THE THANKSGIVING THAT ALL OF YOU PLANNED. |
| 445 | BUT FOR ME, THIS HAS BEEN REALLY GREAT. YOU KNOW? |
| 446 | I THINK BECAUSE IT DIDN'T INVOLVE DIVORCE |
| 447 | OR PROJECTILE VOMITING. |
| 448 | ANYWAY, I WAS JUST THINKING, IF YOU HAD GONE TO VAIL |
| 449 | OR IF YOU GUYS HAD BEEN WITH YOUR FAMILY |
| 450 | OR IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE SYPHILIS AND STUFF |
| 451 | WE WOULDN'T BE ALL TOGETHER, YOU KNOW? |
| 452 | SO I GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS |
| 453 | THAT, UH, I'M VERY THANKFUL |
| 454 | THAT ALL OF YOUR THANKSGIVINGS SUCKED. |
| 455 | All: THAT'S SO SWEET. THANK YOU. |
| 456 | AND HEY... |
| 457 | HERE'S TO A LOUSY CHRISTMAS. |
| 458 | AND A CRAPPY NEW YEAR. |
| 459 | HERE. HERE. |
| 460 | |
| 1 | GUYS, THERE'S SOMEBODY I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET. |
| 2 | WAIT. |
| 3 | WHAT IS THAT? |
| 4 | MARCEL. WANT TO SAY HI? |
| 5 | NO, I DON'T. |
| 6 | OH, HE IS PRECIOUS. |
| 7 | WHERE DID YOU GET HIM? |
| 8 | MY FRIEND, BETHEL, RESCUED HIM FROM SOME LAB. |
| 9 | THAT IS SO CRUEL. |
| 10 | WHY WOULD A PARENT NAME THEIR CHILD BETHEL? |
| 11 | HEY, THAT MONKEY'S GOT A ROSS ON HIS ASS. |
| 12 | ROSS, IS HE GOING TO LIVE WITH YOU? |
| 13 | IN YOUR APARTMENT? |
| 14 | YEAH. IT'S BEEN KIND OF QUIET SINCE CAROL LEFT, SO... |
| 15 | WHY DON'T YOU GET A ROOMMATE? |
| 16 | I THINK YOU REACH A CERTAIN AGE |
| 17 | HAVING A ROOMMATE IS JUST KIND OF PATHE... |
| 18 | UH... I'M SORRY. |
| 19 | THAT'S "PATHET." |
| 20 | SANSKRIT FOR "REALLY COOL WAY TO LIVE." |
| 21 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 22 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 23 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 24 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 25 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 26 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 27 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 28 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 29 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 30 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 31 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 32 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 33 | I'M DOING ALL NEW MATERIAL TONIGHT. |
| 34 | I HAVE 12 NEW SONGS ABOUT MY MOTHER'S SUICIDE |
| 35 | AND ONE ABOUT A SNOWMAN. |
| 36 | MIGHT WANT TO OPEN WITH THE SNOWMAN. |
| 37 | HI, JOEY. |
| 38 | HEY. |
| 39 | HI, BUDDY. |
| 40 | SO, HOW'D IT GO? |
| 41 | I DIDN'T GET THE JOB. |
| 42 | ( sympathetic groaning ) |
| 43 | HOW COULD YOU NOT GET IT? |
| 44 | YOU WERE SANTA LAST YEAR. |
| 45 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 46 | SOME FAT GUY'S SLEEPING WITH THE STORE MANAGER. |
| 47 | HE'S NOT EVEN JOLLY. |
| 48 | IT'S ALL POLITICAL. |
| 49 | SO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO BE? |
| 50 | I'M GOING TO BE ONE OF HIS HELPERS |
| 51 | BUT IT'S JUST SUCH A SLAP IN THE FACE, YOU KNOW? |
| 52 | DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING |
| 53 | FOR NEW YEAR'S? |
| 54 | ( all groaning ) |
| 55 | WHAT IS WRONG WITH NEW YEAR'S? |
| 56 | NOTHING FOR YOU. |
| 57 | YOU HAVE PAOLO. |
| 58 | YOU DON'T HAVE THE PRESSURES-- |
| 59 | THE DESPERATE SCRAMBLE TO FIND ANYTHING WITH LIPS |
| 60 | SO YOU HAVE SOMEBODY TO KISS WHEN THE BALL DROPS! |
| 61 | MAN, I'M TALKING LOUD. |
| 62 | PAOLO IS GOING TO BE IN ROME THIS NEW YEAR'S |
| 63 | SO I'LL BE JUST AS PATHETIC AS THE REST OF YOU. |
| 64 | YEAH. YOU WISH. |
| 65 | IT'S JUST THAT I AM SICK OF BEING A VICTIM |
| 66 | TO THIS DICK CLARK HOLIDAY. |
| 67 | I SAY THIS YEAR, NO DATES. |
| 68 | WE MAKE A PACT-- JUST THE SIX OF US. DINNER. |
| 69 | SURE. FINE. OKAY. |
| 70 | I WAS HOPING FOR A LITTLE ENTHUSIASM. |
| 71 | WHOO! YAY! |
| 72 | SOUNDS GREAT. |
| 73 | PHOEBE, YOU'RE ON. |
| 74 | OKAY, HI. |
| 75 | LADIES AND GENTLEMEN |
| 76 | BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND |
| 77 | MISS PHOEBE BUFFAY. |
| 78 | ( applause ) |
| 79 | HI. |
| 80 | THANKS. HI. |
| 81 | UM... I WANT TO START WITH A SONG |
| 82 | THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME THIS TIME OF YEAR. |
| 83 | ♪ I MADE A MAN WITH EYES OF COAL ♪ |
| 84 | ♪ AND A SMILE SO BEWITCHING ♪ |
| 85 | ♪ HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW ♪ |
| 86 | ♪ THAT MY MOM WAS DEAD IN THE KITCHEN? ♪ |
| 87 | ♪ LA, LA-LA, LA, LA-LA... ♪ |
| 88 | ♪ ...MY MOTHER'S ASHES ♪ |
| 89 | ♪ EVEN HER EYELASHES ♪ |
| 90 | ♪ ARE RESTING IN A LITTLE YELLOW JAR ♪ |
| 91 | ♪ AND SOMETIMES WHEN IT'S BREEZY ♪ |
| 92 | ♪ OR IF I'M FEELING SNEEZY ♪ |
| 93 | ♪ AND... ♪ |
| 94 | EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. |
| 95 | NOISY BOYS. |
| 96 | IS IT SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE |
| 97 | WITH THE ENTIRE GROUP? |
| 98 | NO. NO, THAT'S OKAY. |
| 99 | WELL, COME ON. |
| 100 | IF IT'S IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO DISCUSS WHILE I'M PLAYING |
| 101 | THEN I ASSUME IT'S IMPORTANT ENOUGH |
| 102 | FOR EVERYONE ELSE TO HEAR. |
| 103 | THAT GUY'S GOING HOME WITH A NOTE. |
| 104 | AHEM. AHEM. |
| 105 | I WAS... I WAS JUST SAYING... |
| 106 | COULD YOU SPEAK UP? |
| 107 | SORRY. I WAS... |
| 108 | I WAS SAYING THAT I THOUGHT |
| 109 | YOU WERE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN |
| 110 | THAT I'D EVER SEEN |
| 111 | IN MY LIFE |
| 112 | AND THEN HE SAID... |
| 113 | YOU SAID YOU THOUGHT |
| 114 | DARYL HANNAH WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN |
| 115 | THAT HE'D EVER SEEN IN HIS LIFE |
| 116 | AND I SAID, "YEAH, I LIKED HER IN SPLASH A LOT |
| 117 | BUT NOT SO MUCH IN WALL STREET." |
| 118 | I THOUGHT SHE HAD... |
| 119 | A HARD QUALITY. |
| 120 | AND, UH... WHILE DARYL HANNAH |
| 121 | IS BEAUTIFUL IN A CONVENTIONAL WAY |
| 122 | YOU ARE LUMINOUS WITH A KIND OF A DELICATE GRACE. |
| 123 | THEN THAT'S WHEN YOU STARTED YELLING. |
| 124 | OKAY. WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A SHORT BREAK. |
| 125 | THAT GUY'S GOING HOME WITH MORE THAN A NOTE. |
| 126 | PHEEBS, I CAN'T BELIEVE HE HASN'T KISSED YOU YET. |
| 127 | I MEAN, GOD, BY MY SIXTH DATE WITH PAOLO |
| 128 | HE'D ALREADY NAMED BOTH MY BREASTS. |
| 129 | WHOA, DID I JUST SHARE TOO MUCH? |
| 130 | JUST A SMIDGE. |
| 131 | DAVID'S, LIKE, YOU KNOW, A SCIENTIST GUY. |
| 132 | HE'S VERY METHODICAL. |
| 133 | IT'S ROMANTIC. |
| 134 | DID YOU EVER SEE AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN? |
| 135 | YEAH. |
| 136 | WELL, HE'S KIND OF LIKE |
| 137 | THE GUY I WENT TO SEE THAT WITH. |
| 138 | EXCEPT... |
| 139 | EXCEPT HE'S SMARTER AND GENTLER AND SWEETER. |
| 140 | I JUST... I JUST WANT |
| 141 | TO BE WITH HIM ALL THE TIME. |
| 142 | YOU KNOW, DAY AND NIGHT... |
| 143 | AND NIGHT AND DAY |
| 144 | AND SPECIAL OCCASIONS. |
| 145 | I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING. |
| 146 | YOU'RE GOING TO ASK HIM TO NEW YEAR'S. |
| 147 | YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK THE PACT. |
| 148 | SHE'S GOING TO BREAK THE PACT. |
| 149 | NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. |
| 150 | NO. |
| 151 | YEAH, COULD I JUST..? |
| 152 | YEAH, 'CAUSE I ALREADY ASKED JANICE. |
| 153 | COME ON. THIS WAS A PACT. |
| 154 | THIS WAS YOUR PACT. |
| 155 | I SNAPPED, OKAY? |
| 156 | I COULDN'T HANDLE THE PRESSURE. |
| 157 | BUT THAT WAS, LIKE, THE WORST BREAKUP IN HISTORY. |
| 158 | I'M NOT SAYING IT WAS A GOOD IDEA. |
| 159 | I'M SAYING I SNAPPED. |
| 160 | HI. SORRY I'M LATE. |
| 161 | TOO MANY JOKES. |
| 162 | MUST MOCK JOEY. |
| 163 | NICE SHOES, HUH? |
| 164 | AH! YOU'RE KILLING ME! |
| 165 | OH, ROSS. |
| 166 | HE'S PLAYING WITH MY SPATULAS AGAIN. |
| 167 | LOOK, HE'S NOT GOING TO HURT THEM, RIGHT? |
| 168 | DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BRING HIM HERE? |
| 169 | LOOK, I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE HIM ALONE, ALL RIGHT? |
| 170 | WE HAD OUR FIRST FIGHT THIS MORNING. |
| 171 | I THINK IT HAS TO DO WITH MY WORKING LATE. |
| 172 | I SAID SOME THINGS THAT I DIDN'T MEAN AND... |
| 173 | HE THREW SOME FECES. |
| 174 | IF YOU'RE GOING TO WORK LATE |
| 175 | I CAN LOOK IN ON HIM FOR YOU. |
| 176 | OH, THAT WOULD BE GREAT. |
| 177 | OKAY, BUT IF YOU DO, MAKE SURE IT SEEMS |
| 178 | LIKE YOU'RE THERE TO SEE HIM, OKAY? |
| 179 | AND YOU'RE NOT, LIKE, DOING IT AS A FAVOR TO ME. |
| 180 | OKAY, BUT IF HE ASKS, I'M NOT GOING TO LIE. |
| 181 | BUT YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY TEST THIS THEORY |
| 182 | BECAUSE TODAY'S PARTICLE ACCELERATORS |
| 183 | ARE NOWHERE NEAR POWERFUL ENOUGH TO SIMULATE THESE CONDITIONS. |
| 184 | OKAY. ALL RIGHT. |
| 185 | I HAVE A QUESTION THEN. |
| 186 | WERE YOU PLANNING ON KISSING ME EVER? |
| 187 | UH... THAT'S DEFINITELY A VALID QUESTION |
| 188 | AND, UH... THE ANSWER WOULD BE... |
| 189 | YES. |
| 190 | YES, I WAS. |
| 191 | BUT, SEE, I WANTED IT TO BE THIS PHENOMENAL KISS |
| 192 | THAT HAPPENED AT THIS PHENOMENAL MOMENT |
| 193 | BECAUSE, WELL, BECAUSE IT'S YOU. |
| 194 | SURE. YEAH. |
| 195 | RIGHT, BUT, YOU SEE, THE LONGER I WAITED |
| 196 | THE MORE PHENOMENAL THE KISS HAD TO BE |
| 197 | AND NOW WE'VE REACHED A PLACE WHERE IT'S |
| 198 | GOT TO BE ONE OF THOSE THINGS |
| 199 | WHERE I, LIKE, SWEEP EVERYTHING OFF THE TABLE |
| 200 | AND I'M NOT REALLY A, UH... |
| 201 | SWEEPING SORT OF FELLOW. |
| 202 | DAVID, I THINK YOU ARE A SWEEPING SORT OF FELLOW. |
| 203 | I MEAN... |
| 204 | YOU'RE A SWEEPER |
| 205 | TRAPPED INSIDE A PHYSICIST'S BODY. |
| 206 | REALLY? |
| 207 | OH, YEAH. OH, I'M SURE OF IT. |
| 208 | YOU SHOULD JUST DO IT. |
| 209 | JUST SWEEP AND THROW ME. |
| 210 | NOW, NOW? |
| 211 | OH, YEAH, RIGHT NOW. |
| 212 | OKAY, OKAY. |
| 213 | YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS IS JUST REALLY EXPENSIVE. |
| 214 | AND THIS WAS A GIFT. |
| 215 | YOU'RE KIND OF TIDYING UP. |
| 216 | OKAY. WHAT THE HELL? WHAT THE HELL? |
| 217 | DO YOU WANT ME TO ACTUALLY THROW YOU |
| 218 | OR YOU WANT TO JUST HOP UP? |
| 219 | TELL ME SOMETHING. |
| 220 | WHAT DOES THE PHRASE "NO-DATE PACT" MEAN TO YOU? |
| 221 | I'M SORRY, OKAY? |
| 222 | IT'S JUST THAT CHANDLER HAS SOMEBODY |
| 223 | AND PHOEBE HAS SOMEBODY. |
| 224 | I THOUGHT I'D ASK FUN BOBBY. |
| 225 | FUN BOBBY-- |
| 226 | YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND FUN BOBBY? |
| 227 | YOU KNOW MORE THAN ONE FUN BOBBY? |
| 228 | I HAPPEN TO KNOW A FUN BOB. |
| 229 | OKAY. HERE WE GO. |
| 230 | OH, OH, OH, THERE'S NO ROOM FOR MILK. |
| 231 | THERE. |
| 232 | OKAY, SO ON OUR NO-DATE EVENING |
| 233 | THREE OF YOU NOW ARE GOING TO HAVE DATES. |
| 234 | UH... FOUR. |
| 235 | FIVE. FIVE. |
| 236 | SORRY. PAOLO'S CATCHING AN EARLIER FLIGHT. |
| 237 | YEAH, AND I MET |
| 238 | THIS REALLY HOT SINGLE MOM AT THE STORE. |
| 239 | WHAT'S AN ELF TO DO? |
| 240 | OKAY, SO I'M GOING TO BE THE ONLY ONE |
| 241 | STANDING THERE ALONE WHEN THE BALL DROPS? |
| 242 | WE'LL HAVE A BIG PARTY |
| 243 | AND NO ONE WILL KNOW WHO'S WITH WHO. |
| 244 | THIS IS SO NOT WHAT I NEEDED RIGHT NOW. |
| 245 | WHAT'S THE MATTER? |
| 246 | OH, IT'S MARCEL. |
| 247 | HE KEEPS SHUTTING ME OUT, YOU KNOW? |
| 248 | HE'S WALKING AROUND ALL THE TIME |
| 249 | DRAGGING HIS HANDS. |
| 250 | I HAD SUCH A BLAST WITH HIM THE OTHER NIGHT. |
| 251 | REALLY? |
| 252 | YEAH. WE PLAYED. |
| 253 | THAT JUGGLING THING IS AMAZING. |
| 254 | WHAT, UH... WHAT JUGGLING THING? |
| 255 | WITH THE BALLED-UP SOCKS. |
| 256 | I FIGURED YOU TAUGHT HIM THAT. |
| 257 | NO. |
| 258 | YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T THAT BIG A DEAL. |
| 259 | IT WAS JUST BALLED-UP SOCKS... |
| 260 | AND A MELON. |
| 261 | PHOEBE, HI. |
| 262 | HI, MAX. |
| 263 | DO YOU KNOW EVERYBODY? |
| 264 | NO. HAVE YOU SEEN DAVID? |
| 265 | NO. NO. |
| 266 | WELL, IF YOU SEE HIM, TELL HIM TO PACK HIS BAGS. |
| 267 | WE ARE GOING TO MINSK. |
| 268 | MINSK? |
| 269 | MINSK. IT'S IN RUSSIA. |
| 270 | I KNOW WHERE MINSK IS. |
| 271 | WE GOT THE GRANT. |
| 272 | THREE YEARS. |
| 273 | ALL EXPENSES PAID. |
| 274 | SO WHEN, WHEN DO YOU LEAVE? |
| 275 | JANUARY FIRST. |
| 276 | ( knocking ) |
| 277 | HELLO? |
| 278 | WHAT... HEY! |
| 279 | HI. |
| 280 | HI. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? |
| 281 | WELL, MAX TOLD ME ABOUT MINSK |
| 282 | SO, YOU KNOW, CONGRATULATIONS! |
| 283 | THIS IS SO EXCITING. |
| 284 | IT WOULD BE EVEN MORE EXCITING IF WE WERE GOING. |
| 285 | YOU'RE NOT GOING? |
| 286 | OH... WHY? |
| 287 | TELL HER, DAVID. |
| 288 | "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO MINSK |
| 289 | "TO WORK WITH LIFSON AND YAMAGUCHI AND FLENCK. |
| 290 | "OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. |
| 291 | I WANT TO STAY HERE AND MAKE OUT WITH MY GIRLFRIEND." |
| 292 | OKAY, THANK YOU, MAX. |
| 293 | THANK YOU. |
| 294 | SO... SO YOU'RE REALLY NOT GOING? |
| 295 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 296 | I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. I JUST... |
| 297 | YOU DECIDE. |
| 298 | OH, DON'T DO THAT. |
| 299 | PLEASE? OH, NO, NO. |
| 300 | I'M ASKING... I CAN'T. |
| 301 | BUT I CAN'T MAKE THE DECISION. |
| 302 | OKAY, STAY. |
| 303 | STAY? |
| 304 | STAY. |
| 305 | YOU'RE GETTING SO GOOD AT THAT. |
| 306 | IT WAS MAX'S STUFF. |
| 307 | I LOVE THIS ARTICHOKE THING. |
| 308 | DON'T TELL ME WHAT'S IN IT. |
| 309 | THE DIET STARTS TOMORROW. |
| 310 | ( braying laughter ) |
| 311 | YOU REMEMBER JANICE? |
| 312 | OH... VIVIDLY. |
| 313 | ( doorbell rings ) |
| 314 | HI. |
| 315 | HI. I'M SANDY. |
| 316 | SANDY, HI. COME ON IN. |
| 317 | ( nervous chuckling ) |
| 318 | YOU BROUGHT YOUR KIDS. |
| 319 | YEAH. THAT'S OKAY, RIGHT? |
| 320 | PAR-TAY. |
| 321 | THAT THING IS NOT COMING IN HERE. |
| 322 | "THAT THING"? THIS IS HOW YOU GREET GUESTS AT A PARTY? |
| 323 | IF I SHOWED UP WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND |
| 324 | SHE WOULDN'T BE WELCOME? |
| 325 | YOUR GIRLFRIEND WOULDN'T URINATE ON MY COFFEE TABLE. |
| 326 | HE WAS MORE EMBARRASSED ABOUT THAT THAN ANYONE. |
| 327 | OKAY? |
| 328 | AND FOR HIM TO HAVE THE COURAGE TO WALK BACK IN HERE |
| 329 | LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED... |
| 330 | ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT! |
| 331 | JUST KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME. |
| 332 | THANK YOU. COME ON, MARCEL. |
| 333 | WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU AND I DO A LITTLE MINGLING? |
| 334 | ALL RIGHT. I'LL, UH... CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER. |
| 335 | OH, MY GOSH! |
| 336 | RACHEL, HONEY... ARE YOU OKAY? |
| 337 | WHERE'S PAOLO? |
| 338 | ROME. |
| 339 | JERK MISSED HIS FLIGHT. |
| 340 | AND THEN YOUR FACE EXPLODED? |
| 341 | NO. |
| 342 | OKAY. I WAS AT THE AIRPORT GETTING INTO A CAB |
| 343 | WHEN THIS WOMAN-- |
| 344 | THIS BLONDE PLANET WITH A POCKETBOOK-- |
| 345 | STARTS YELLING AT ME. |
| 346 | SOMETHING ABOUT HOW IT WAS HER CAB FIRST |
| 347 | AND THEN THE NEXT THING I KNOW, SHE JUST STARTS |
| 348 | PULLING ME OUT BY MY HAIR. |
| 349 | AND SO I'M BLOWING MY ATTACK WHISTLE THINGY |
| 350 | AND-AND THREE MORE CABS SHOW UP |
| 351 | SO AS I'M GOING TO GET INTO A CAB, SHE TACKLES ME! |
| 352 | I HIT MY HEAD ON THE CURB |
| 353 | AND I CUT MY LIP ON MY WHISTLE. |
| 354 | OH... |
| 355 | EVERYBODY HAVING FUN AT THE PARTY? |
| 356 | ARE PEOPLE EATING MY DIP? |
| 357 | YOU KNOW, WHEN I SAW YOU AT THE STORE LAST WEEK |
| 358 | IT WAS PROBABLY THE FIRST TIME |
| 359 | I EVER MENTALLY UNDRESSED AN ELF. |
| 360 | WOW. THAT'S, UH, DIRTY. |
| 361 | YEAH. |
| 362 | HEY, KIDS. |
| 363 | LOOK AT HIM. |
| 364 | I'M NOT SAYING HE HAS TO SPEND |
| 365 | THE WHOLE EVENING WITH ME |
| 366 | BUT AT LEAST CHECK IN. |
| 367 | THERE YOU ARE! |
| 368 | ♪ YOU GOT AWAY FROM ME! ♪ |
| 369 | ♪ BUT YOU FOUND ME. ♪ |
| 370 | HERE, ROSS, TAKE OUR PICTURE. |
| 371 | SMILE. YOU'RE ON JANICE CAMERA. |
| 372 | KILL ME. KILL ME NOW. |
| 373 | EVERYBODY, IT'S FUN BOBBY! |
| 374 | ( cheering ) |
| 375 | HEY, BOBBY! |
| 376 | HEY, SORRY I'M LATE |
| 377 | BUT MY GRANDFATHER, HE DIED ABOUT TWO HOURS AGO |
| 378 | BUT I-I-I COULDN'T GET A FLIGHT OUT TILL TOMORROW SO... |
| 379 | HERE I AM. |
| 380 | HEY, FUN BOBBY. |
| 381 | HOW'S IT GOING, MAN? |
| 382 | WHOA! WHO DIED? |
| 383 | IT'S GOING TO BE AN OPEN CASKET, YOU KNOW |
| 384 | SO AT LEAST I'LL... I'LL GET TO SEE HIM AGAIN. |
| 385 | MMM... I'M GOING TO BLOW THIS ONE UP |
| 386 | AND I'M GOING TO WRITE "REUNITED" IN GLITTER. |
| 387 | ALL RIGHT, JANICE, THAT'S IT! |
| 388 | JANICE... JANICE. |
| 389 | HEY, JANICE... |
| 390 | WHEN I INVITED YOU |
| 391 | I DIDN'T THINK IT MEANT... |
| 392 | OH... NO! |
| 393 | OH, NO. |
| 394 | I'M SORRY YOU MISUNDERSTOOD. |
| 395 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 396 | YOU LISTEN TO ME, CHANDLER, YOU LISTEN TO ME! |
| 397 | ONE OF THESE TIMES IS JUST GOING TO BE YOUR LAST CHANCE WITH ME! |
| 398 | OH, WILL YOU GIVE ME THE THING! |
| 399 | HI, MAX. |
| 400 | YOKO. |
| 401 | I'VE DECIDED TO GO TO MINSK WITHOUT YOU. |
| 402 | WOW! |
| 403 | IT WON'T BE THE SAME |
| 404 | BUT IT WILL STILL BE MINSK. |
| 405 | HAPPY NEW YEAR! |
| 406 | ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? |
| 407 | YEAH, I'M FINE... I'M FINE. |
| 408 | COME ON. |
| 409 | YOU'RE GOING TO MINSK. |
| 410 | N-NO, I'M NOT GOING TO MINSK. |
| 411 | OH, YOU ARE SO GOING TO MINSK. |
| 412 | YOU BELONG IN MINSK. |
| 413 | YOU CAN'T STAY HERE JUST 'CAUSE OF ME. |
| 414 | YES, I CAN, BECAUSE IF I GO |
| 415 | I HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH YOU AND I CAN'T BREAK UP WITH YOU. |
| 416 | OH, YES. YES, YOU CAN. |
| 417 | JUST SAY, "PHOEBE, I LOVE YOU, BUT MY WORK IS MY LIFE |
| 418 | AND THAT'S WHAT I HAVE TO DO." |
| 419 | AND I SAY, "YOUR WORK?! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?" |
| 420 | AND THEN YOU SAY, "IT'S TEARING ME APART |
| 421 | "BUT I HAVE NO CHOICE. |
| 422 | CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND?" |
| 423 | AND I SAY, "NO! |
| 424 | NO, I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT!" |
| 425 | UH, OW. |
| 426 | OOH, SORRY. |
| 427 | AND THEN YOU PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND ME... |
| 428 | YOU PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND ME. |
| 429 | AND, UM, AND THEN YOU TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME |
| 430 | AND YOU'LL NEVER FORGET ME. |
| 431 | I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU. |
| 432 | AND THEN YOU SAY THAT IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT |
| 433 | AND YOU HAVE TO GO BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO START |
| 434 | THE NEW YEAR WITH ME IF YOU CAN'T FINISH IT. |
| 435 | I'M GOING TO MISS YOU, YOU SCIENTIST GUY. |
| 436 | Dick Clark: We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti |
| 437 | here in Times Square. |
| 438 | It gets bigger and better every year. |
| 439 | THERE YOU GO, KIDS. |
| 440 | ...AND THEN THE PEACOCK BIT ME. |
| 441 | PLEASE KISS ME AT MIDNIGHT. |
| 442 | SHH... |
| 443 | YOU SEEN SANDY? |
| 444 | I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU, BUT SHE'S IN MONICA'S BEDROOM |
| 445 | GETTING IT ON WITH MAX, THAT SCIENTIST GEEK. |
| 446 | WHOA! I DID KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU. |
| 447 | ( distorted mumble ): HEY, EVERYBODY, THE BALL IS DROPPING. |
| 448 | All: WHAT? |
| 449 | THE BALL IS DROPPING! |
| 450 | In 20 seconds, it'll be midnight. |
| 451 | AND THE MOMENT OF JOY IS UPON US. |
| 452 | LOOKS LIKE THAT NO-DATE-PACT THING WORKED OUT. |
| 453 | EVERYBODY LOOKS SO HAPPY. I HATE THAT! |
| 454 | NOT EVERYBODY'S HAPPY. HEY, BOBBY. |
| 455 | All: ...ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR! |
| 456 | I'LL JUST THROW THIS OUT: |
| 457 | I'M NO MATH WHIZ |
| 458 | BUT I DO BELIEVE THERE ARE THREE GIRLS |
| 459 | AND THREE GUYS RIGHT HERE. |
| 460 | ( kissing noise ) |
| 461 | OH, I DON'T FEEL LIKE KISSING ANYONE TONIGHT. |
| 462 | I CAN'T KISS ANYONE. |
| 463 | SO I'M KISSING EVERYONE? |
| 464 | YOU CAN'T KISS ROSS. |
| 465 | THAT'S YOUR BROTHER. |
| 466 | OH, YEAH. |
| 467 | PERFECT. NOW EVERYBODY'S GETTING KISSED BUT ME. |
| 468 | SOMEBODY KISS ME. |
| 469 | KISS ME. IT'S MIDNIGHT! |
| 470 | SOMEBODY KISS ME! IT'S MIDNIGHT. |
| 471 | STOP! STOP! ALL RIGHT. |
| 472 | ALL RIGHT! |
| 473 | I WANTED THIS TO WORK SO MUCH. |
| 474 | NOW, I'M STILL IN THERE, YOU KNOW |
| 475 | CHANGING HIS DIAPERS, PICKING HIS FLEAS |
| 476 | AND HE'S JUST PHONING IT IN. |
| 477 | IT'S JUST SO HARD TO ACCEPT THAT SOMETHING |
| 478 | YOU LOVE SO MUCH DOESN'T LOVE YOU BACK, YOU KNOW? |
| 479 | I THINK THAT BITCH CRACKED MY TOOTH. |
| 480 | [Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation] |
| 481 | |
| 1 | DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE YESTERDAY'S DAILY NEWS? |
| 2 | I JUST WANT TO CHECK MY HOROSCOPE |
| 3 | TO SEE IF IT WAS RIGHT. |
| 4 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 5 | PHOEBE, DON'T LOOK NOW |
| 6 | BUT BEHIND YOU IS A GUY WHO HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BREAK OUR HEARTS |
| 7 | AND PLUNGE US INTO A PIT OF DEPRESSION. |
| 8 | WHERE? |
| 9 | COME TO MAMA. |
| 10 | HE'S COMING. BE COOL. |
| 11 | BE COOL. BE COOL. |
| 12 | NICE HAT. |
| 13 | Both: THANKS. |
| 14 | WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING-- WHISTLE. |
| 15 | WE ARE NOT GOING TO WHISTLE. |
| 16 | DO IT! NO! |
| 17 | DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! |
| 18 | WHOO-HOO! |
| 19 | [TIRES SCREECHING] [THUD] |
| 20 | OH! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! |
| 21 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 22 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 23 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 24 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 25 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 26 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 27 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 28 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 29 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 30 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 31 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 32 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 33 | Monica: WHY DID I "WHOO-HOO"? |
| 34 | WHAT WAS I HOPING WOULD HAPPEN? |
| 35 | THAT HE'D TURN AROUND AND SAY |
| 36 | "OOH. I LOVE THAT SOUND. |
| 37 | I MUST HAVE YOU NOW." |
| 38 | I JUST WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING WE COULD DO. |
| 39 | HELLO. |
| 40 | HELLO, COMA GUY. |
| 41 | GET UP, YOU GIRL SCOUT! UP! UP! UP! |
| 42 | PHOEBE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? |
| 43 | MAYBE NOBODY'S TRIED THIS. |
| 44 | I WISH WE AT LEAST KNEW HIS NAME. |
| 45 | WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT FACE? |
| 46 | I MEAN, EVEN SLEEPING, HE LOOKS SMART. |
| 47 | I BET HE'S A LAWYER. |
| 48 | YOU SEE THE DENTS IN HIS KNUCKLES? |
| 49 | THAT MEANS HE'S ARTISTIC. |
| 50 | OKAY. HE'S A LAWYER |
| 51 | WHO TEACHES SCULPTING ON THE SIDE. |
| 52 | AND HE CAN DANCE. |
| 53 | OH, YEAH. HE'S THE KIND OF GUY |
| 54 | WHO, WHEN YOU'RE TALKING, HE'S LISTENING |
| 55 | AND NOT SAYING, "YEAH, I UNDERSTAND." |
| 56 | BUT REALLY WONDERING WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE NAKED. |
| 57 | OH, DEFINITELY! |
| 58 | I WISH ALL GUYS COULD BE LIKE HIM. |
| 59 | I KNOW. |
| 60 | ARE THERE NO CONSCIOUS MEN |
| 61 | IN THE CITY FOR YOU TWO? |
| 62 | HE DOESN'T HAVE ANYONE. |
| 63 | YEAH. WE FEEL KIND OF RESPONSIBLE. |
| 64 | I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID "WHOO-HOO." |
| 65 | I DON'T EVEN SAY "WHOO-HOO." |
| 66 | OH! SHE'S COMING UP! |
| 67 | When we come back, we'll be talking about her new book |
| 68 | Euphoria Unbound. The always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. |
| 69 | You might want to put the kids to bed for this one. |
| 70 | WE DON'T HAVE TO WATCH THIS. |
| 71 | WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S IS ON SHOWTIME. |
| 72 | NO WAY! |
| 73 | OH, COME ON. |
| 74 | SHE'S YOUR MOM. |
| 75 | EXACTLY. |
| 76 | WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S! |
| 77 | DEAD GUY GETTING HIT IN THE GROIN 20, 30 TIMES! |
| 78 | CHANDLER, I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU. |
| 79 | I LOVE YOUR MOM'S BOOKS. |
| 80 | I CANNOT GET ON A PLANE WITHOUT ONE. |
| 81 | THIS IS SO COOL. |
| 82 | YOU WOULDN'T THINK SO IF YOU WERE 11 |
| 83 | AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS WERE PASSING AROUND |
| 84 | PAGE 79 OF MISTRESS BITCH. |
| 85 | I LOVE YOUR MOM. |
| 86 | I THINK SHE'S A BLAST. |
| 87 | YEAH. BECAUSE SHE'S NOT YOUR MOM. |
| 88 | Chandler: PLEASE. |
| 89 | BUONA SERA. |
| 90 | HI, SWEETIE. |
| 91 | WHEN DID RIGATONI GET BACK FROM ROME? |
| 92 | LAST NIGHT. |
| 93 | REALLY? SO THEN HIS PLANE DIDN'T EXPLODE |
| 94 | IN A BIG BALL OF FIRE? |
| 95 | JUST A DREAM I HAD. |
| 96 | BUT, PHEW! |
| 97 | HEY! HEY! SHE'S ON! |
| 98 | AH! NORA BING! |
| 99 | Before we get to the book now what is this about you |
| 100 | being arrested in London? |
| 101 | YOUR MOM WAS ARRESTED? |
| 102 | SHH! SHH! I'M BUSY BEAMING WITH PRIDE. |
| 103 | THIS IS KIND OF EMBARRASSING, BUT... |
| 104 | OCCASIONALLY, AFTER I'VE BEEN INTIMATE WITH A MAN... |
| 105 | WHY WOULD SHE SAY THAT'S EMBARRASSING? |
| 106 | All: SHH! |
| 107 | I JUST GET THIS CRAVING FOR KUNG PAO CHICKEN. |
| 108 | THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION! |
| 109 | SO NOW YOU'RE DOING THIS WHOLE BOOK TOUR THING. |
| 110 | HOW IS THAT GOING? |
| 111 | FINE. I'M LEAVING |
| 112 | FOR NEW YORK TOMORROW-- WHICH I HATE. |
| 113 | BUT I GET TO SEE MY SON, WHO I LOVE. |
| 114 | All: AW! |
| 115 | OH. AND THIS IS THE WAY THAT I FIND OUT. |
| 116 | MOST MOM'S USE THE PHONE. |
| 117 | YOU KNOW, I... DON'T TAKE THIS WRONG-- |
| 118 | I JUST DON'T SEE YOU AS A MOM |
| 119 | SOMEHOW-- I DON'T MEAN THAT BAD. |
| 120 | OH. NO. I AM A FABULOUS MOM. |
| 121 | I BOUGHT MY SON HIS FIRST CONDOMS. |
| 122 | AND THEN HE BURST INTO FLAMES. |
| 123 | Monica: OH. LET'S SEE. |
| 124 | CONGRESS IS DEBATING A NEW DEFICIT BILL. |
| 125 | THE MAYOR WANTS TO RAISE SUBWAY FARES AGAIN. |
| 126 | THE HIGH TODAY WAS 45. |
| 127 | AND... OH, AND TEAMS PLAYED SPORTS. |
| 128 | ( "My Guy" by Mary Wells playing ) |
| 129 | ♪♪ |
| 130 | Phoebe: WHAT ABOUT "GLEN"? |
| 131 | HE COULD BE A "GLEN." |
| 132 | UH-UH. NOT SPECIAL ENOUGH. |
| 133 | HOW ABOUT "AGAMEMNON"? |
| 134 | WAY TOO SPECIAL. |
| 135 | MMM. I AM FAMISHED. WHAT DO I WANT? |
| 136 | PLEASE, GOD, DON'T LET IT BE KUNG PAO CHICKEN. |
| 137 | OH! YOU WATCHED THE SHOW! |
| 138 | WHAT DID YOU THINK? |
| 139 | I THINK YOU NEED |
| 140 | TO COME OUT OF YOUR SHELL JUST A... |
| 141 | WHAT IS THIS DIVE? |
| 142 | ONLY YOU COULD HAVE PICKED THIS PLACE. |
| 143 | OH! COME ON. SHUT UP. IT'S FUN. |
| 144 | GIVE ME A HUG. |
| 145 | I THINK WE'RE READY FOR SOME TEQUILA. |
| 146 | WHO'S DOING SHOTS? |
| 147 | YEAH. I'M IN. |
| 148 | THERE YOU GO... ROSS? |
| 149 | I'M NOT REALLY A SHOT DRINKING KIND OF GUY. |
| 150 | SORRY! SORRY! WE'RE LATE. |
| 151 | WE, UH, KIND OF JUST |
| 152 | YOU KNOW, LOST TRACK OF TIME. |
| 153 | BUT A MAN CAN CHANGE. |
| 154 | ANYONE WANT ME TO APPRAISE ANYTHING? |
| 155 | I HAVE READ EVERYTHING YOU'VE WRITTEN. |
| 156 | WHEN I READ |
| 157 | EUPHORIA AT MIDNIGHT |
| 158 | I WANTED TO BECOME A WRITER. |
| 159 | OH! PLEASE, HONEY! |
| 160 | IF I CAN DO IT, ANYBODY CAN. |
| 161 | YOU JUST START |
| 162 | WITH HALF A DOZEN EUROPEAN CITIES |
| 163 | 30 EUPHEMISMS FOR MALE GENITALIA-- |
| 164 | BAM! YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A BOOK. |
| 165 | MY MOTHER, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. |
| 166 | YEAH. ANY MESSAGES FOR ROOM 226? |
| 167 | YOU OKAY, SLUGGER? |
| 168 | OH. YEAH. I'M FINE. I'M FINE. |
| 169 | ( sniffs ) |
| 170 | ( sighs ) |
| 171 | WHAT IS WITH YOU TONIGHT? |
| 172 | NOTHING. |
| 173 | NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING. |
| 174 | OKAY. THANK YOU. |
| 175 | ( sighs ) |
| 176 | IT'S THE ITALIAN HAND-LICKER, ISN'T IT? |
| 177 | NO. IT'S THE ONE HE'S LICKING. |
| 178 | SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE WITH YOU. |
| 179 | YOU'RE GOOD. |
| 180 | OH, ROSS, LISTEN TO ME. |
| 181 | I HAVE SOLD A HUNDRED MILLION |
| 182 | COPIES OF MY BOOKS-- AND YOU KNOW WHY? |
| 183 | THE GIRL ON THE COVER WITH HER NIPPLES SHOWING? |
| 184 | NO. BECAUSE I KNOW HOW TO WRITE MEN |
| 185 | THAT WOMEN FALL IN LOVE WITH. |
| 186 | BELIEVE ME. I CANNOT SELL A PAOLO. |
| 187 | PEOPLE WILL NOT TURN 325 PAGES FOR A PAOLO. |
| 188 | COME ON. THE GUY'S A SECONDARY CHARACTER. |
| 189 | HE'S JUST, UH, YOU KNOW |
| 190 | A COMPLICATION YOU EVENTUALLY KILL OFF. |
| 191 | WHEN? |
| 192 | HE'S NOT A HERO. |
| 193 | YOU KNOW WHO OUR HERO IS? |
| 194 | THE GUY ON THE COVER WITH HIS NIPPLES SHOWING? |
| 195 | NO. IT'S YOU. |
| 196 | PLEASE. |
| 197 | NO. REALLY. COME ON. |
| 198 | YOU'RE SMART. YOU'RE SEXY. |
| 199 | OH. RIGHT. |
| 200 | LISTEN TO ME, KIDDO. |
| 201 | YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE. |
| 202 | BELIEVE ME. |
| 203 | UH-OH. |
| 204 | UH... |
| 205 | I'LL JUST PEE IN THE STREET. |
| 206 | ( knocking ) |
| 207 | HEY, IS CHANDLER HERE? |
| 208 | YEAH. |
| 209 | OKAY, COME HERE. |
| 210 | OKAY. ABOUT LAST NIGHT. |
| 211 | YOU KNOW. CHANDLER. YOU DIDN'T TELL... |
| 212 | OKAY! |
| 213 | 'CAUSE I'M THINKING |
| 214 | WE DON'T NEED TO TELL CHANDLER. |
| 215 | ONE KISS-- NO BIG DEAL, RIGHT? |
| 216 | NO BIG DEAL. |
| 217 | OKAY. |
| 218 | IN BIZARRO WORLD! |
| 219 | YOU BROKE THE CODE. WHAT CODE? |
| 220 | YOU DON'T KISS YOUR FRIEND'S MOM. |
| 221 | SISTERS ARE OKAY, MAYBE A HOT-LOOKIN' AUNT |
| 222 | BUT NOT A MOM. |
| 223 | NEVER A MOM! |
| 224 | WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING OUT HERE? |
| 225 | AH, JOEY AND I HAD DISCUSSED |
| 226 | AN EARLY-MORNING RACQUETBALL GAME |
| 227 | BUT, APPARENTLY, SOMEBODY OVERSLEPT. |
| 228 | WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR RACQUET. |
| 229 | NO. NO, I DON'T BECAUSE IT'S BEING RESTRUNG. |
| 230 | SOMEBODY WAS SUPPOSED TO BRING ME ONE. |
| 231 | WELL, YOU DIDN'T CALL AND LEAVE YOUR GRIP SIZE. |
| 232 | YOU GUYS SPEND WAY TOO MUCH TIME TOGETHER. |
| 233 | OKAY, I'M SCUM. I'M SCUM. |
| 234 | ROSS, HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN? |
| 235 | I DON'T KNOW! |
| 236 | IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S A REGULAR MOM. |
| 237 | SHE'S-SHE'S SEXY. SHE'S... |
| 238 | YOU DON'T THINK MY MOM'S SEXY? |
| 239 | WELL, NOT IN THE SAME WAY. |
| 240 | HEY! |
| 241 | I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW GLORIA TRIBBIANI |
| 242 | WAS A HANDSOME WOMAN IN HER DAY, ALL RIGHT? |
| 243 | YOU THINK IT'S EASY GIVING BIRTH TO SEVEN CHILDREN? |
| 244 | HUH? |
| 245 | OKAY. I THINK WE'RE GETTING INTO A WEIRD AREA HERE. |
| 246 | HEY. HEY. |
| 247 | WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING OUT HERE? |
| 248 | WELL, NOT PLAYING RACQUETBALL. |
| 249 | HE FORGOT TO LEAVE HIS GRIP SIZE. |
| 250 | HE DIDN'T GET THE GOGGLES. |
| 251 | OH. |
| 252 | WELL... SOUNDS LIKE YOU TWO HAVE ISSUES. |
| 253 | BYE, BABY. |
| 254 | CIAO, BELLA. |
| 255 | ( kissing noises ) |
| 256 | DO THEY WAIT FOR ME TO DO THIS? |
| 257 | SO, ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HIM? |
| 258 | I'M NOT GOING TO TELL HIM. WHY WOULD I? |
| 259 | CAUSE IF YOU DON'T, HIS MOTHER MIGHT. |
| 260 | OH. |
| 261 | WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE? |
| 262 | AH, HE'S NOT EVEN WEARING A JOCK STRAP. |
| 263 | WHAT DID I ASK? |
| 264 | HI. |
| 265 | HI. |
| 266 | WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? |
| 267 | NOTHING. I JUST THOUGHT I'D STOP BY |
| 268 | YOU KNOW, AFTER THE, AH, THAT I, YOU KNOW. |
| 269 | WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? |
| 270 | UM, I'M NOT REALLY HERE. |
| 271 | I...JUST THOUGHT I'D DROP THESE OFF ON... |
| 272 | THE WAY. MY WAY. |
| 273 | DO YOU, UM, COME HERE A LOT... |
| 274 | WITHOUT ME? |
| 275 | NO. |
| 276 | NO! NO! |
| 277 | DO YOU THINK HE'S DOING ANY BETTER |
| 278 | THAN HE WAS THIS MORNING? |
| 279 | HOW WOULD I KNOW? I-I WASN'T HERE. |
| 280 | REALLY? NOT EVEN TO, UM... |
| 281 | CHANGE HIS PAJAMAS?! |
| 282 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 283 | YOU'RE MY FRIEND. I... |
| 284 | I HAD TO TELL YOU. |
| 285 | I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. |
| 286 | PAOLO KISSED MY MOM? |
| 287 | YEAH. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU NOTICED |
| 288 | BUT HE HAD A LOT TO DRINK. |
| 289 | YOU KNOW HOW HE GETS WHEN HE'S DRU... |
| 290 | I CAN'T DO THIS. I DID IT. |
| 291 | IT WAS ME. I'M SORRY. |
| 292 | I KISSED YOUR MOM. |
| 293 | WHAT? |
| 294 | I WAS UPSET ABOUT RACHEL AND PAOLO |
| 295 | AND I THINK I HAD TOO MUCH TEQUILA AND NORA... |
| 296 | UM, MRS. MOM, YOUR BING, WAS, AH... |
| 297 | WAS JUST BEING NICE |
| 298 | YOU KNOW, BUT NOTHING HAPPENED |
| 299 | NOTHING. ASK JOEY. |
| 300 | JOEY CAME IN... |
| 301 | YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS? |
| 302 | YOU KNOW, KNOWLEDGE IS A TRICKY THING. |
| 303 | I SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY WITH YOU. |
| 304 | WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? |
| 305 | YOU'RE LUCKY I CAUGHT THEM. |
| 306 | WHO KNOWS WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED? |
| 307 | THANKS, MAN. BIG HELP. |
| 308 | WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?! |
| 309 | I WASN'T. I DON'T KNOW... |
| 310 | NO ONE KNOWS THE CRAP I GO THROUGH |
| 311 | WITH MY MOM MORE THAN YOU. |
| 312 | I KNOW. |
| 313 | I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS. |
| 314 | ME NEITHER. |
| 315 | I'M MAD AT YOU FOR NOT TELLING ME. |
| 316 | YOU GOTTA LET ME SLAM THE DOOR! |
| 317 | I DIDN'T KISS HER. |
| 318 | SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU BREAK THE CODE? |
| 319 | JOEY! |
| 320 | AH... UH?! |
| 321 | HI, RACH. |
| 322 | HEY. AH... |
| 323 | A WOMAN UNDONE, BY RACHEL KAREN GREEN. |
| 324 | YEAH. THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A SHOT. |
| 325 | I'M STILL ON THE FIRST CHAPTER. |
| 326 | NOW, DO YOU THINK HIS LOVE STICK |
| 327 | CAN BE LIBERATED FROM ITS DENIM PRISON? |
| 328 | YEAH. I'D SAY SO. |
| 329 | AND THERE'S NO "J" IN ENGORGED. |
| 330 | HEY, RACH. |
| 331 | HEY. HELLO. |
| 332 | HELLO. |
| 333 | GOING TO THE HOSPITAL TONIGHT? |
| 334 | NO. YOU? |
| 335 | NO. YOU? |
| 336 | YOU JUST ASKED ME. |
| 337 | OKAY. MAYBE IT WAS A TRICK QUESTION. |
| 338 | UM, RACHEL, CAN WE DO THIS NOW? |
| 339 | OKAY. |
| 340 | I AM SO HOT! |
| 341 | HERE'S A PICTURE OF MY MOTHER AND FATHER ON THEIR WEDDING DAY. |
| 342 | YOU TELL ME SHE'S NOT A KNOCKOUT. |
| 343 | HUH? |
| 344 | I CANNOT BELIEVE WE'RE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION. |
| 345 | JUST TRY TO PICTURE HER NOT PREGNANT. THAT'S ALL. |
| 346 | CENTRAL PERK IS PROUD TO PRESENT MISS PHOEBE BUFFAY. |
| 347 | THANKS. |
| 348 | HI. UM, I'D LIKE TO START WITH A SONG |
| 349 | THAT'S ABOUT A MAN THAT I RECENTLY MET |
| 350 | WHO'S COME TO BE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. |
| 351 | ♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AWAKE TO BE MY MAN ♪ |
| 352 | ♪ LONG AS YOU HAVE BRAIN WAVES ♪ |
| 353 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE TO HOLD YOUR HAND ♪ |
| 354 | ♪ THOUGH WE JUST MET THE OTHER DAY, THERE'S SOMETHING ♪ |
| 355 | ♪ I HAVE GOT TO SAY... ♪ |
| 356 | OKAY. THANK YOU VERY MUCH |
| 357 | I'M GOING TO TAKE A SHORT BREAK. |
| 358 | Rachel: HEY, THAT WAS PHOEBE BUFFAY, EVERYBODY. |
| 359 | WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? |
| 360 | PHOEBE JUST STARTED HER... |
| 361 | I BELIEVE I WAS TALKING TO JOEY. |
| 362 | ALL RIGHT THERE, MOTHER KISSER? |
| 363 | MOTHER KISSER! |
| 364 | ( seriously ): I'LL SHUT UP. |
| 365 | CHANDLER, I KNOW YOU'RE STILL MAD AT ME. |
| 366 | I JUST WANT TO SAY THERE WERE TWO PEOPLE THERE THAT NIGHT. |
| 367 | OKAY? THERE WERE TWO SETS OF LIPS. |
| 368 | I EXPECT THIS FROM HER. |
| 369 | OKAY? SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN A FREUDIAN NIGHTMARE. |
| 370 | IF SHE ALWAYS BEHAVES LIKE THIS |
| 371 | WHY DON'T YOU SAY SOMETHING? |
| 372 | IT'S COMPLICATED. |
| 373 | IT'S COMPLEX. IT'S... |
| 374 | HEY! YOU KISSED MY MOM! |
| 375 | WE'RE REHEARSING A GREEK PLAY. |
| 376 | THAT'S VERY FUNNY. ARE WE DONE NOW? |
| 377 | NO. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TALK TO HER? |
| 378 | TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL? |
| 379 | NO. JUST BECAUSE YOU PLAYED TONSIL TENNIS WITH MY MOM |
| 380 | DOESN'T MEAN YOU KNOW HER. |
| 381 | YOU CAN'T TALK TO HER. |
| 382 | OKAY. YOU CAN'T OR YOU CAN'T? |
| 383 | OKAY. THAT'S MY FINGER. |
| 384 | OKAY. THAT'S MY KNEE. |
| 385 | STILL DOING THE PLAY. |
| 386 | ( turns groan into singing ) |
| 387 | ALL RIGHT. WHAT'D YOU DO WITH HIM? |
| 388 | ( toilet flushing ) |
| 389 | YOU'RE AWAKE! |
| 390 | LOOK AT YOU! |
| 391 | HOW DO YOU FEEL? |
| 392 | AH, A LITTLE WOOZY BUT BASICALLY OKAY. |
| 393 | GOSH, YOU LOOK GOOD. |
| 394 | I FEEL GOOD. |
| 395 | WHO ARE YOU? |
| 396 | SORRY! |
| 397 | I'M PHOEBE BUFFAY. |
| 398 | I'M MONICA GELLER. I'VE BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOU. |
| 399 | WE BOTH HAVE. |
| 400 | THE ETCH-A-SKETCH IS FROM YOU? |
| 401 | IT'S FROM ME. |
| 402 | I GOT THE FOOT MASSAGER. |
| 403 | I SHAVED YOU. THAT WAS ME. |
| 404 | I READ TO YOU. |
| 405 | I SANG. HAH! |
| 406 | WELL... THANKS. |
| 407 | MY PLEASURE. YOU'RE WELCOME. |
| 408 | SO... I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU AROUND. |
| 409 | WHAT, THAT'S IT? |
| 410 | "SEE YOU AROUND"? |
| 411 | WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? |
| 412 | OH, I DON'T KNOW. |
| 413 | MAYBE, UH, "THAT WAS NICE." |
| 414 | IT MEANT SOMETHING TO ME. |
| 415 | I'LL CALL YOU. |
| 416 | ALL RIGHT. I'LL CALL YOU. |
| 417 | I DON'T THINK YOU MEAN THAT. |
| 418 | THIS IS SO TYPICAL. |
| 419 | YOU KNOW, WE GIVE AND WE GIVE AND WE GIVE |
| 420 | AND THEN WE JUST GET NOTHING BACK |
| 421 | AND THEN ONE DAY, YOU WAKE UP AND "SEE YOU AROUND." |
| 422 | LET'S GO, PHOEBE. |
| 423 | YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 424 | WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT |
| 425 | BUT I GUESS IT WAS JUST THE COMA. |
| 426 | Nora: SO, I WAS RUNNING DOWNSTAIRS |
| 427 | I JUST WANTED TO DROP OFF COPIES OF MY BOOK FOR YOUR FRIENDS. |
| 428 | ANYTHING YOU WANT FROM LISBON? |
| 429 | NO, NO. JUST KNOWING YOU'RE GOING TO BE THERE IS ENOUGH. |
| 430 | ALL RIGHT, WELL, BE GOOD. |
| 431 | I LOVE YOU. |
| 432 | YOU KISSED MY BEST ROSS! |
| 433 | OR SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT. |
| 434 | OKAY. |
| 435 | LOOK, IT WAS STUPID. |
| 436 | REALLY STUPID. |
| 437 | REALLY STUPID AND... |
| 438 | I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED. |
| 439 | I'M SORRY, HONEY, AND I PROMISE IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. |
| 440 | ARE WE OKAY? |
| 441 | YEAH... |
| 442 | NO. |
| 443 | NO. |
| 444 | AH. THE FORBIDDEN LOVE OF A MAN AND HIS DOOR. |
| 445 | SHH! |
| 446 | HE DID IT! HE TOLD HER OFF |
| 447 | AND NOT JUST ABOUT THE KISS, ABOUT EVERYTHING. |
| 448 | YOU'RE KIDDING! |
| 449 | HE SAID, "WHEN YOU GONNA GROW UP AND BE A MOM?" |
| 450 | WOW! WAIT! SHE CAME BACK WITH |
| 451 | "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GROW UP AND REALIZE I HAVE A BOMB?" |
| 452 | OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE. ARE YOU SURE SHE DIDN'T SAY |
| 453 | "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GROW UP AND REALIZE I AM YOUR MOM?" |
| 454 | THAT MAKES MORE SENSE. |
| 455 | YOU THINK? YEAH. |
| 456 | SO WHAT'S GOING ON NOW? |
| 457 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 458 | I'VE BEEN STANDING HERE SPELLING IT OUT FOR YOU. |
| 459 | ( whispering ): I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! |
| 460 | WHAT DO YOU SEE? |
| 461 | IT'S HARD TO TELL. THEY'RE SO TINY AND UPSIDE DOWN. |
| 462 | WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! |
| 463 | THEY'RE WALKING AWAY, THEY'RE WALKING AWAY... |
| 464 | NO! NO, THEY'RE NOT! THEY'RE COMING RIGHT AT US! |
| 465 | RUN, RUN! |
| 466 | YOU OKAY, KIDDO? |
| 467 | YEAH, I'M OKAY. |
| 468 | ALL RIGHT. YOU BE GOOD. |
| 469 | FLY SAFE. |
| 470 | MRS. BING. |
| 471 | MR. GELLER. |
| 472 | HEY! |
| 473 | YOU MEAN THAT? |
| 474 | YEAH. WHY NOT? |
| 475 | SO I TOLD HER. |
| 476 | OH... HOW DID IT GO? |
| 477 | AWFUL... AWFUL. COULDN'T HAVE GONE WORSE. |
| 478 | WELL... HOW DO YOU FEEL? |
| 479 | PRETTY GOOD. |
| 480 | I TOLD HER. |
| 481 | WELL, SEE? |
| 482 | SO MAYBE IT WASN'T SUCH A BAD IDEA |
| 483 | ME KISSING YOUR MOM. |
| 484 | HUH? HUH? |
| 485 | BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO GO DOWN THAT ROAD. |
| 486 | OKAY. NOW, THIS IS JUST THE FIRST CHAPTER |
| 487 | AND I WANT YOUR ABSOLUTE HONEST OPINION. OKAY? |
| 488 | OH! AND ON PAGE TWO, HE'S NOT REACHING FOR HER HEAVING BEASTS. |
| 489 | WHAT'S A NIFFLE? |
| 490 | YOU CAN USUALLY FIND THEM ON THE HEAVING BEASTS. |
| 491 | OH! |
| 492 | ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. SO I'M NOT A GREAT TYPIST. |
| 493 | WAIT, DID YOU GET TO THE PART ABOUT HIS HUGE THROBBING PENS? |
| 494 | DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND |
| 495 | WHEN HE STARTS WRITING WITH THOSE. |
| 496 | ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. GIVE IT BACK. |
| 497 | |
| 1 | ( humming bass opening of Odd Couple theme ) |
| 2 | ( humming theme from Odd Couple ) |
| 3 | ( all humming theme from Odd Couple ) |
| 4 | ( humming theme from I Dream of Jeannie ) |
| 5 | NO. WE'RE DONE. |
| 6 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 7 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 8 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 9 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 10 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 11 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 12 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 13 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 14 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 15 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 16 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 17 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 18 | AUNT SYL, STOP YELLING. |
| 19 | ALL I'M SAYING IS, IF YOU HAD TOLD ME VEGETARIAN LASAGNA |
| 20 | I WOULD HAVE MADE VEGETARIAN LASAGNA. |
| 21 | WELL, THE MEAT'S ONLY EVERY THIRD LAYER. |
| 22 | MAYBE YOU COULD SCRAPE. |
| 23 | ROSS, DID YOU REALLY READ ALL THESE BABY BOOKS? |
| 24 | YEP. YOU COULD PLUNK ME DOWN |
| 25 | IN THE MIDDLE OF ANY WOMAN'S UTERUS, NO COMPASS |
| 26 | AND I COULD FIND MY WAY OUT LIKE THAT. |
| 27 | OOH, THIS IS COOL. |
| 28 | IN SOME PARTS OF THE WORLD |
| 29 | PEOPLE ACTUALLY EAT THE PLACENTA. |
| 30 | AND WE'RE DONE WITH THE YOGURT. |
| 31 | AUNT SYL, I DID THIS AS A FAVOR. |
| 32 | I AM NOT A CATERER. |
| 33 | WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH A DOZEN LASAGNAS? |
| 34 | NICE TALK, AUNT SYL. |
| 35 | YOU KISS UNCLE FREDDIE WITH THAT MOUTH? |
| 36 | HEY, ROSS. LISTEN. |
| 37 | DO YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW YOUR BABY IS ONLY THIS BIG? |
| 38 | THIS IS YOUR BABY. |
| 39 | HI, DADDY. |
| 40 | HELLO. |
| 41 | HOW COME YOU DON'T LIVE WITH MOMMY? |
| 42 | HOW COME MOMMY LIVES WITH THAT OTHER LADY? |
| 43 | WHAT'S A LESBIAN? |
| 44 | ( speaking Italian ) |
| 45 | YOU CAN SAY IT-- POCONOS. |
| 46 | POCONOS. |
| 47 | IT'S LIKE POKE A NOSE. |
| 48 | AW, POKE A NOSE. |
| 49 | ( all mimicking Paolo's tone ) |
| 50 | SO, DID I HEAR POCONOS? |
| 51 | YES. MY SISTER'S GIVING US HER PLACE FOR THE WEEKEND. |
| 52 | WHOO-HOO. FIRST WEEKEND AWAY TOGETHER. |
| 53 | THAT'S A BIG STEP. |
| 54 | Rachel: I KNOW. |
| 55 | IT'S JUST A WEEKEND. BIG DEAL. |
| 56 | WASN'T THIS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE A FLING? |
| 57 | SHOULDN'T IT BE... |
| 58 | FLUNG BY NOW? |
| 59 | I MEAN, WE ARE WAY PAST THE FLING THING. |
| 60 | I AM FEELING THINGS THAT I'VE ONLY READ ABOUT |
| 61 | IN DANIELLE STEEL BOOKS. |
| 62 | WHEN I'M WITH HIM, I'M JUST TOTALLY, TOTALLY... |
| 63 | NAUSEOUS. |
| 64 | I'M PHYSICALLY NAUSEOUS. |
| 65 | WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? |
| 66 | CALL IMMIGRATION? |
| 67 | I COULD CALL IMMIGRATION. |
| 68 | I LOVE BABIES WITH THEIR LITTLE BABY SHOES |
| 69 | AND THEIR LITTLE BABY TOES AND THEIR LITTLE HANDS. |
| 70 | OKAY. YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO STOP THAT. |
| 71 | FOREVER. |
| 72 | NEED A NEW TABLE. |
| 73 | YOU THINK? |
| 74 | ( knocking ) |
| 75 | HEY, HEY. COME ON IN. |
| 76 | HELLO. |
| 77 | I BROUGHT ALL THE BOOKS |
| 78 | AND MONICA SENDS HER LOVE ALONG WITH THIS LASAGNA. |
| 79 | OH, GREAT. |
| 80 | IS IT VEGETARIAN, 'CAUSE SUSAN DOESN'T EAT MEAT. |
| 81 | I'M PRETTY SURE THAT IT IS. |
| 82 | SO, I GOT THE RESULTS OF THE AMNIO TODAY. |
| 83 | IS EVERYTHING..? |
| 84 | TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY HEALTHY. |
| 85 | OH, THAT'S GREAT. |
| 86 | THAT IS GREAT. |
| 87 | HEY. WHEN DID YOU AND SUSAN MEET HUEY LEWIS? |
| 88 | UH... THAT'S OUR FRIEND TANYA. |
| 89 | OF COURSE, IT'S YOUR FRIEND TANYA. |
| 90 | DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE SEX? |
| 91 | THE SEX? |
| 92 | I'M HAVING ENOUGH TROUBLE |
| 93 | WITH THE IMAGE OF YOU AND SUSAN TOGETHER. |
| 94 | WHEN YOU THROW IN TANYA... YAW. |
| 95 | THE SEX OF THE BABY, ROSS. |
| 96 | OH. YOU KNOW THE SEX OF THE BABY? |
| 97 | OH. OH, OH, OH. |
| 98 | DO YOU WANT TO KNOW? |
| 99 | NO, NO, NO. |
| 100 | NO, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. ABSOLUTELY NOT. |
| 101 | NO. I THINK YOU SHOULDN'T KNOW UNTIL YOU LOOK DOWN THERE |
| 102 | AND SEE, OH, THERE IT IS OR ISN'T. |
| 103 | OH. HELLO, ROSS. |
| 104 | SUSAN. |
| 105 | SO... |
| 106 | SO DID YOU HEAR? |
| 107 | YES, WE DID. EVERYTHING'S A-OKAY. |
| 108 | OH. THAT'S SO... |
| 109 | IT REALLY IS. |
| 110 | DO WE KNOW? |
| 111 | WE CERTAINLY DO. |
| 112 | IT'S GOING TO BE A... |
| 113 | HEY, HO. HELLO. |
| 114 | SEE A GUY WHO DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW STANDING HERE. |
| 115 | OH. |
| 116 | WELL, IS IT WHAT WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE? |
| 117 | MM-HMM. |
| 118 | ( giggling ) |
| 119 | HEY. |
| 120 | WHAT... |
| 121 | WHAT DID WE THINK IT WAS GOING TO BE? |
| 122 | NO, NO, NO. |
| 123 | I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. |
| 124 | DON'T WANT TO KNOW |
| 125 | YOU KNOW, I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST GO. |
| 126 | THANKS FOR THE BOOKS. |
| 127 | NO PROBLEM. |
| 128 | OKAY. |
| 129 | OH. |
| 130 | SUSAN. |
| 131 | ALL RIGHT, WHO SHOULD WE CALL FIRST? |
| 132 | YOUR FOLKS OR DEB AND RONA? |
| 133 | ( buzzing ) |
| 134 | HELLO. |
| 135 | Ross: Uh... never mind. |
| 136 | I don't want to know. |
| 137 | JUST BECAUSE IT WAS MY TABLE |
| 138 | I HAVE TO BUY A NEW ONE? |
| 139 | THAT'S THE RULE. |
| 140 | WHAT RULE? THERE'S NO RULE. |
| 141 | IF ANYTHING, YOU OWE ME A TABLE. |
| 142 | HOW'D YOU GET THERE? |
| 143 | I BELIEVE IT WAS FINE |
| 144 | UNTIL YOUR BREAKFAST ADVENTURE WITH ANGELA DELVECCHIO. |
| 145 | YOU KNEW ABOUT THAT? |
| 146 | THE IMPRESSIONS YOU MADE IN THE BUTTER |
| 147 | LEFT LITTLE TO THE IMAGINATION. |
| 148 | OKAY, OKAY. |
| 149 | HOW ABOUT IF WE SPLIT IT? |
| 150 | WHAT DO YOU MEAN? LIKE, BUY IT TOGETHER? |
| 151 | YEAH. |
| 152 | YOU THINK WE'RE READY FOR THAT? |
| 153 | WHY NOT? |
| 154 | IT'S A BIG COMMITMENT. |
| 155 | WHAT IF ONE OF US MOVES OUT? |
| 156 | WHY? ARE YOU MOVING OUT? |
| 157 | I'M NOT MOVING OUT. |
| 158 | YOU'D TELL ME IF YOU WERE? |
| 159 | YES, YES. IT'S JUST MY LAST ROOMMATE, KIP... |
| 160 | I KNOW ALL ABOUT KIP. |
| 161 | WE BOUGHT A HIBACHI TOGETHER |
| 162 | AND THEN HE RAN OFF AND GOT MARRIED. |
| 163 | LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. |
| 164 | WAS KIP A BETTER ROOMMATE THAN ME? |
| 165 | OH, DON'T DO THAT? |
| 166 | A COUPLE CHANGES IN YOUR SCHEDULE. |
| 167 | YOUR 4:00 HERBAL MASSAGE HAS BEEN PUSHED BACK TO 4:30 |
| 168 | AND MISS SOMERFELD CANCELED HER 5:30 SHIATSU. |
| 169 | OKAY. THANKS. |
| 170 | OH, HERE COMES YOUR 3:00. |
| 171 | I DON'T MEAN TO SOUND UNPROFESSIONAL, BUT... YUM. |
| 172 | BUON GIORNO, BELLA PEEBIE. |
| 173 | OH. PAOLO. |
| 174 | HI. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? |
| 175 | UH... RACQUELA TELL ME... |
| 176 | YOU MASSAGE. |
| 177 | WELL, RACQUELA'S RIGHT. |
| 178 | YEAH. |
| 179 | ( speaking Italian ) |
| 180 | OH. OKAY. |
| 181 | I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU JUST SAID. |
| 182 | UH... |
| 183 | I AM, UH... BEING NAKED? |
| 184 | THAT'S REALLY YOUR DECISION. |
| 185 | I MEAN, SOME PEOPLE PREFER, YOU KNOW |
| 186 | TO TAKE OFF... WHOOPS. |
| 187 | YOU'RE BEING NAKED. |
| 188 | I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW. |
| 189 | I COULDN'T NOT KNOW. |
| 190 | IF THE DOCTOR KNOWS |
| 191 | AND CAROL KNOWS AND SUSAN KNOWS... |
| 192 | AND MONICA KNOWS. |
| 193 | HOW COULD YOU KNOW? I DON'T EVEN KNOW. |
| 194 | CAROL CALLED TO THANK ME FOR THE LASAGNA. |
| 195 | I ASKED. SHE TOLD ME. |
| 196 | SO WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE? |
| 197 | OH. |
| 198 | GREAT. |
| 199 | NOW HE KNOWS AND I DON'T KNOW. |
| 200 | I'M JUST EXCITED ABOUT BEING AN AUNT. |
| 201 | OR AN UNCLE. |
| 202 | HEY, PHOEBE. |
| 203 | HI, PHEEBS. |
| 204 | FINE. |
| 205 | PHOEBE, WHAT'S THE MATTER? |
| 206 | NOTHING. I'M SORRY. |
| 207 | I'M OUT OF SORTS. |
| 208 | Woman: COULD WE GET SOME CAPPUCCINO? |
| 209 | OH, RIGHT. THAT'S ME. |
| 210 | HEY, CHANDLER, THAT TABLE PLACE CLOSES AT 7:00. |
| 211 | COME ON. |
| 212 | FINE. |
| 213 | PHOEBE, WHAT IS IT? |
| 214 | ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW PAOLO? |
| 215 | I'M FAMILIAR WITH HIS WORK. YES. |
| 216 | WELL, HE MADE A MOVE ON ME. |
| 217 | WHOA, STORE WILL BE OPEN TOMORROW. |
| 218 | COULD WE GET SOME COFFEE? |
| 219 | WHAT HAPPENED? |
| 220 | HE CAME IN FOR A MASSAGE |
| 221 | AND EVERYTHING WAS FINE UNTIL... |
| 222 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 223 | ARE YOU SURE? |
| 224 | OH, YEAH, I'M SURE. |
| 225 | AND ALL OF A SUDDEN |
| 226 | HIS HANDS WEREN'T THE PROBLEM ANYMORE. |
| 227 | WAS IT..? |
| 228 | OH, BOY SCOUTS COULD HAVE CAMPED UNDER THERE. |
| 229 | OOH... OOH... |
| 230 | "OOH," WHAT? |
| 231 | UMA THURMAN. |
| 232 | THE ACTRESS. |
| 233 | ( all talking ) |
| 234 | THANKS, RACH. |
| 235 | SO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? |
| 236 | YOU HAVE TO TELL HER. |
| 237 | IT'S YOUR MORAL OBLIGATION AS A FRIEND. |
| 238 | AS A WOMAN, I THINK IT'S A FEMINIST ISSUE. |
| 239 | GUYS? GUYS? |
| 240 | OH, YEAH, YOU HAVE TO TELL HER. |
| 241 | FEMINIST ISSUE. THAT'S WHERE I WENT. |
| 242 | SHE IS GOING TO HATE ME. |
| 243 | YEAH, WELL... |
| 244 | WILL YOU PICK ONE? |
| 245 | JUST PICK ONE. |
| 246 | HERE, HOW ABOUT THAT ONE? |
| 247 | THAT'S PATIO FURNITURE. |
| 248 | LIKE, PEOPLE ARE GOING TO COME IN |
| 249 | AND THINK "UH-OH, I'M OUTSIDE AGAIN." |
| 250 | WHAT ABOUT THE BIRDS? |
| 251 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 252 | BIRDS JUST DON'T SAY "HELLO, SIT HERE |
| 253 | EAT SOMETHING." |
| 254 | YOU PICK ONE. |
| 255 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 256 | HOW ABOUT THE LADYBUGS? |
| 257 | SO FORGET ABOUT THE BIRDS |
| 258 | BUT BIG, RED INSECTS SUGGEST FINE DINING. |
| 259 | FINE, YOU WANT THE BIRDS, GET THE BIRDS. |
| 260 | NOT LIKE THAT, I WON'T. |
| 261 | KIP WOULD HAVE LIKED THE BIRDS. |
| 262 | HEY. |
| 263 | HI, PHEEBS. |
| 264 | ARE YOU MOVING OUT? |
| 265 | NO, THESE AREN'T ALL MY SUITCASES. |
| 266 | THIS ONE'S PAULO'S. |
| 267 | UM, UM, RACHEL, CAN WE TALK FOR A SEC? |
| 268 | SURE. JUST FOR A SEC THOUGH |
| 269 | 'CAUSE PAOLO'S ON HIS WAY OVER. |
| 270 | OH..! |
| 271 | OKAY. UM... |
| 272 | OKAY. UM... |
| 273 | OH, PHEEBS... |
| 274 | UM... WE HAVEN'T KNOWN EACH OTHER |
| 275 | FOR THAT LONG A TIME, AND, UM, THERE ARE THREE THINGS |
| 276 | THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME. |
| 277 | ONE, MY FRIENDS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE. |
| 278 | TWO, I NEVER LIE... |
| 279 | AND THREE, I MAKE THE BEST OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIES |
| 280 | IN THE WORLD. |
| 281 | OKAY... |
| 282 | THANKS, PHEEBS. |
| 283 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 284 | I KNOW. |
| 285 | WHY HAVE I NEVER TASTED THESE BEFORE? |
| 286 | OH, I DON'T MAKE THEM A LOT BECAUSE I DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR |
| 287 | TO THE OTHER COOKIES. |
| 288 | ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 289 | THESE ARE THE BEST OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIES |
| 290 | I'VE EVER HAD. |
| 291 | WHICH PROVES THAT I NEVER LIE. |
| 292 | I GUESS YOU DON'T. |
| 293 | PAOLO MADE A PASS AT ME. |
| 294 | SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK? |
| 295 | I THINK IT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL TABLE |
| 296 | I'VE EVER SEEN. |
| 297 | I KNOW. |
| 298 | SO, YOU GOING TO BALANCE THE PLATES |
| 299 | ON THESE LITTLE GUYS' HEADS? |
| 300 | WHO CARES? WE'LL EAT AT THE SINK. |
| 301 | HEADS UP, ROSS. |
| 302 | SCORE! |
| 303 | YOU SUCK. |
| 304 | ARE YOU OKAY? |
| 305 | I NEED SOME MILK. |
| 306 | OKAY. I'VE GOT MILK. |
| 307 | HERE YOU GO. OH. |
| 308 | BETTER? |
| 309 | NO. |
| 310 | OH, I FEEL SO STUPID! |
| 311 | I THINK ABOUT THE OTHER DAY WITH YOU GUYS, YOU KNOW |
| 312 | AND I WAS ALL "OH, PAOLO, HE'S SO GREAT! |
| 313 | HE MAKES ME FEEL SO..." |
| 314 | OH! GOD. |
| 315 | I'M SO EMBARRASSED. |
| 316 | I'M SO EMBARRASSED. |
| 317 | I'M THE ONE HE HIT ON. |
| 318 | PHOEBE, IF I HAD NEVER MET HIM |
| 319 | THIS WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED. |
| 320 | I'M SO SORRY. |
| 321 | NO, I'M SORRY. |
| 322 | NO, I'M SORRY! NO, I'M SORRY! |
| 323 | OH, WAIT. OH... |
| 324 | WHAT ARE WE SORRY ABOUT? |
| 325 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 326 | RIGHT. HE'S THE PIG. |
| 327 | SUCH A PIG. |
| 328 | OH, GOD, HE'S SUCH A PIG! |
| 329 | HE'S LIKE A BIG, DISGUSTING PIG... |
| 330 | PIG MAN. |
| 331 | YES, GOOD. OKAY. |
| 332 | BUT HE WAS MY PIG MAN. |
| 333 | HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS? |
| 334 | OH, I KNOW! |
| 335 | BECAUSE... HE'S GORGEOUS |
| 336 | AND HE'S CHARMING |
| 337 | AND WHEN HE LOOKS AT YOU... |
| 338 | OKAY, OKAY, PHEEBS. |
| 339 | THE END. |
| 340 | OH, GOD. |
| 341 | SHOULD I NOT HAVE TOLD YOU? |
| 342 | NO. NO, TRUST ME. |
| 343 | IT'S, IT'S, IT'S MUCH BETTER THAT I KNOW. |
| 344 | UH, I JUST LIKED IT BETTER BEFORE IT WAS BETTER. |
| 345 | I THINK SHE TOOK IT PRETTY WELL. |
| 346 | YOU KNOW, PAOLO'S OVER THERE RIGHT NOW, SO... |
| 347 | WE SHOULD GET OVER THERE AND SEE IF SHE'S OKAY. |
| 348 | JUST ONE... SECOND. |
| 349 | SCORE! |
| 350 | COME ON. |
| 351 | AH... OOH! |
| 352 | WELL, LOOKS LIKE, UH, WE KICKED YOUR BUTTS. |
| 353 | SHE KICKED OUR BUTTS. |
| 354 | YOU COULD BE ON THE OLYMPIC STANDING-THERE TEAM. |
| 355 | COME ON, TWO ON ONE. |
| 356 | WHAT ARE YOU DOING? |
| 357 | SHE JUST BROKE UP WITH THE GUY. |
| 358 | IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN. |
| 359 | WHAT, NOW? |
| 360 | YES, NOW IS WHEN YOU SWOOP. |
| 361 | YOU GOT TO MAKE SURE |
| 362 | THAT WHEN PAOLO WALKS OUT OF THERE |
| 363 | THE FIRST GUY RACHEL SEES IS YOU. |
| 364 | SHE'S GOT TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE |
| 365 | EVERYTHING HE'S NOT. |
| 366 | YOU'RE LIKE... THE ANTI-PAOLO. |
| 367 | MY CATHOLIC FRIEND IS RIGHT. |
| 368 | SHE'S DISTRAUGHT. |
| 369 | YOU'RE THERE FOR HER. |
| 370 | YOU PICK UP THE PIECES, AND THEN, YOU USHER IN |
| 371 | THE AGE OF ROSS. |
| 372 | NO, THAT'S COLD, THAT'S COLD. |
| 373 | HOW'S IT GOING? |
| 374 | DON'T STARE. |
| 375 | SHE JUST FINISHED |
| 376 | THROWING HIS CLOTHES OFF THE BALCONY. |
| 377 | NOW THERE'S JUST A LOT OF GESTURING. |
| 378 | OKAY, THAT IS EITHER "HOW COULD YOU?" |
| 379 | OR "ENORMOUS BREASTS." |
| 380 | HERE HE COMES. |
| 381 | UH, I AM, UH, TO SAY GOOD-BYE. |
| 382 | OH, OKAY, BYE-BYE. |
| 383 | PAOLO, I REALLY HATE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO RACHEL |
| 384 | BUT I STILL HAVE FIVE OF THESE |
| 385 | SO HEAT IT AT 375 UNTIL THE CHEESE BUBBLES. |
| 386 | GRAZIE. |
| 387 | PAOLO, I-I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU |
| 388 | AND I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE |
| 389 | WHEN I SAY... |
| 390 | OH, JUST LOOK AT HER. |
| 391 | YOU GUYS, I THINK |
| 392 | ONLY ONE OF US SHOULD GO OUT THERE |
| 393 | SO SHE'S NOT OVERWHELMED. |
| 394 | OH, YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 395 | AND I REALLY THINK IT SHOULD BE ME. |
| 396 | HEY. |
| 397 | HEY. |
| 398 | YOU ALL RIGHT? |
| 399 | OH... I'VE BEEN BETTER. |
| 400 | ( sighing ) |
| 401 | COME HERE. |
| 402 | LISTEN, YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THAN HIM. |
| 403 | YOU KNOW? I MEAN, YOU, YOU... |
| 404 | YOU SHOULD BE WITH A GUY WHO KNOWS WHAT HE HAS |
| 405 | WHEN HE HAS YOU. |
| 406 | OH, ROSS. |
| 407 | WHAT? |
| 408 | I'M SO SICK OF GUYS. |
| 409 | I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT ANOTHER GUY. |
| 410 | I DON'T WANT TO THINK |
| 411 | ABOUT ANOTHER GUY. |
| 412 | I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BE NEAR |
| 413 | ANOTHER GUY. |
| 414 | HUH. |
| 415 | OH, ROSS YOU'RE SO GREAT. |
| 416 | OH... |
| 417 | HEY, HONEY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? |
| 418 | ARE YOU OKAY? |
| 419 | MEDIUM. |
| 420 | ANY COOKIES LEFT? YEAH. |
| 421 | SEE, RACH, UM, SEE, I DON'T THINK |
| 422 | THAT SWEARING OFF GUYS ALTOGETHER IS THE ANSWER. |
| 423 | I REALLY DON'T. |
| 424 | I THINK WHAT YOU NEED |
| 425 | IS TO DEVELOP A MORE SOPHISTICATED SCREENING PROCESS. |
| 426 | NO, I JUST NEED TO BE BY MYSELF |
| 427 | FOR AWHILE, YOU KNOW? |
| 428 | I JUST GOT TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I WANT. |
| 429 | UH, NO, NO. |
| 430 | SEE, BECAUSE NOT... NOT ALL GUYS OUT THERE |
| 431 | ARE GOING TO BE A PAOLO. |
| 432 | NO, I KNOW. |
| 433 | I KNOW, AND I'M SURE YOUR LITTLE BOY |
| 434 | IS NOT GOING TO GROW UP TO BE ONE. |
| 435 | WHAT? |
| 436 | WHAT? |
| 437 | I-I'M, I'M HAVING A BOY? |
| 438 | UH... NO. |
| 439 | NO, NO, IN FACT, YOU'RE NOT HAVING A BOY. |
| 440 | I'M HAVING, I'M HAVING A BOY. |
| 441 | ( babbling ) |
| 442 | HUH? AM I HAVING A BOY? |
| 443 | ( all yelling ) |
| 444 | I'M HAVING A BOY! |
| 445 | OH, I'M HAVING A BOY! |
| 446 | Both: WHAT IS IT? |
| 447 | I'M HAVING A BOY! |
| 448 | I-I'M HAVING A BOY. |
| 449 | HEY! HEY! |
| 450 | WE ALREADY KNEW THAT. WE ALREADY KNEW THAT. |
| 451 | I'M HAVING A SON. |
| 452 | UM... |
| 453 | YES! AND THAT WOULD BE A SHUT-DOWN. |
| 454 | SHUT-OUT! SHUT-OUT! |
| 455 | WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING? |
| 456 | COME ON, ONE MORE GAME. |
| 457 | IT'S 2:30 IN THE MORNING. |
| 458 | YEAH. GET OUT. |
| 459 | YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS HANGING OUT IN MY APARTMENT. |
| 460 | COME ON, I'LL ONLY USE MY LEFT HAND, HUH? |
| 461 | COME ON, WUSSIES. |
| 462 | ALL RIGHT, OKAY, I GOT TO GO. |
| 463 | I'M GOING. |
| 464 | AND I'M GONE. |
| 465 | ONE MORE GAME? OH, YEAH. |
| 466 | |
| 1 | ( both screaming ) |
| 2 | I'M SORRY. |
| 3 | THAT IS IT! |
| 4 | YOU JUST BARGE IN HERE. |
| 5 | YOU DON'T KNOCK. |
| 6 | RACHEL, WAIT. |
| 7 | NO! YOU WAIT! |
| 8 | CAN I JUST SAY ONE THING? |
| 9 | WHAT?! WHAT?! |
| 10 | THAT'S A RELATIVELY OPEN WEAVE |
| 11 | AND I CAN STILL SEE YOUR... |
| 12 | NIPPULAR AREA. |
| 13 | OH! |
| 14 | I'M SORRY. |
| 15 | I COULD. |
| 16 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 17 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 18 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 19 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 20 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 21 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 22 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 23 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 24 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 25 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 26 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 27 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 28 | TELL THEM THE STORY ABOUT YOUR PATIENT |
| 29 | WHO THINKS THINGS ARE LIKE OTHER THINGS |
| 30 | YOU KNOW? |
| 31 | LIKE WHEN THE PHONE RINGS AND SHE TAKES A SHOWER. |
| 32 | THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT. |
| 33 | OOPS. |
| 34 | BUT YOU TELL IT REALLY WELL, SWEETIE. |
| 35 | THANKS. |
| 36 | OKAY. |
| 37 | NOW GO AWAY SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT YOU. |
| 38 | OKAY. I'LL MISS YOU. |
| 39 | ISN'T HE GREAT? |
| 40 | HE'S SO CUTE. |
| 41 | HE SEEMS TO LIKE YOU SO MUCH. |
| 42 | I KNOW. I KNOW. |
| 43 | HE'S SO SWEET, OH, AND SO COMPLICATED, YOU KNOW. |
| 44 | AND FOR A SHRINK, HE'S NOT TOO SHRINKY. |
| 45 | SO YOU THINK YOU'LL DO IT ON HIS COUCH? |
| 46 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 47 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 48 | I THINK THAT'S A LITTLE WEIRD. |
| 49 | IT'S VINYL. |
| 50 | OKAY. YOU GUYS WANT ANYTHING ELSE? |
| 51 | COULD I HAVE..? |
| 52 | NO. WE'RE ALL OUT OF THOSE. |
| 53 | ANYBODY ELSE? |
| 54 | DID IT MISS SOMETHING BETWEEN..? |
| 55 | NO. SHE'S STILL UPSET BECAUSE I SAW HER BOOBIES. |
| 56 | WHAT WERE YOU DOING SEEING HER BOOBIES? |
| 57 | IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. |
| 58 | I WASN'T ACROSS THE STREET WITH A TELESCOPE AND DOUGHNUTS. |
| 59 | Rachel: OKAY, OKAY. |
| 60 | COULD WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT, PLEASE? |
| 61 | YEAH. 'CAUSE, HELLO, THESE ARE NOT HER BOOBIES. |
| 62 | THESE ARE HER BREASTS. |
| 63 | OKAY, PHEEBS. |
| 64 | I WAS HOPING FOR MORE OF A CHANGE. |
| 65 | I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE SO EMBARRASSED. |
| 66 | THEY WERE VERY NICE BOOBIES. |
| 67 | NICE? |
| 68 | THEY WERE NICE? |
| 69 | I MEAN, THAT'S IT. |
| 70 | I MEAN, MITTENS ARE NICE. |
| 71 | OKAY. |
| 72 | ROCK. |
| 73 | HARD PLACE. |
| 74 | ME. |
| 75 | ( Roger laughing ) |
| 76 | YOU'RE... YOU'RE... |
| 77 | YOU'RE SO FUNNY. |
| 78 | HE'S REALLY FUNNY. |
| 79 | OF COURSE, I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE THERE |
| 80 | WHEN THE LAUGHTER STOPS. |
| 81 | WHOA, WHOA. BACK UP THERE, SPARKY. |
| 82 | WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT? |
| 83 | IT JUST SEEMS AS THOUGH |
| 84 | THAT MAYBE YOU HAVE INTIMACY ISSUES-- |
| 85 | THAT YOU USE YOUR HUMOR |
| 86 | AS A WAY OF KEEPING |
| 87 | PEOPLE AT A DISTANCE. |
| 88 | HUH. |
| 89 | I JUST MET YOU. I DON'T KNOW YOU FROM ADAM. |
| 90 | ONLY CHILD, RIGHT? |
| 91 | PARENTS DIVORCED BEFORE YOU HIT PUBERTY. |
| 92 | UH-HUH. |
| 93 | HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? |
| 94 | IT'S TEXTBOOK. |
| 95 | HEY, YOU GUYS. |
| 96 | YOU ALL KNOW MY DAD. |
| 97 | HEY, HOW LONG YOU IN THE CITY? |
| 98 | A COUPLE OF DAYS. I GOT A JOB MIDTOWN. |
| 99 | STAYING WITH THE KID IS BETTER |
| 100 | THAN HAULING MY ASS BACK AND FORTH ON A FERRY. |
| 101 | I DON'T KNOW THIS ONE. |
| 102 | OH. THIS IS MY FRIEND ROGER. |
| 103 | HI. |
| 104 | HEY, GOOD TO MEET YOU, ROGER. |
| 105 | WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PUPPET GUY? |
| 106 | DAD. |
| 107 | OH, OH. EXCUSE ME. |
| 108 | SO, ROSS, HOW'S THE WIFE? |
| 109 | ( moans ) |
| 110 | "O" FOR TWO, HUH? |
| 111 | CHANDLER, QUICK, SAY SOMETHING FUNNY. |
| 112 | I GOT TO GO. |
| 113 | MISS YOU TOO. |
| 114 | I LOVE YOU, BUT IT'S GETTING REAL LATE. |
| 115 | LET ME SAY HI. |
| 116 | HEY, MA, LISTEN. |
| 117 | I MADE THE APPOINTMENT WITH DR. BOZITA AND... |
| 118 | EXCUSE ME. |
| 119 | DID YOU KNOW THIS ISN'T MA? |
| 120 | HER NAME'S RONNI. |
| 121 | SHE'S A PET MORTICIAN. |
| 122 | SURE. |
| 123 | SO HOW LONG YOU BEEN..? |
| 124 | REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE |
| 125 | I USED TO TAKE YOU TO THE NAVY YARD? |
| 126 | SINCE THEN? |
| 127 | NO. IT'S ONLY BEEN SIX YEARS. |
| 128 | I JUST WANTED TO PUT A NICE MEMORY IN YOUR HEAD |
| 129 | SO YOU'D KNOW I WASN'T ALWAYS |
| 130 | SUCH A TERRIBLE GUY. |
| 131 | JOE, YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? |
| 132 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 133 | THEN YOU HAVEN'T. |
| 134 | YOU'RE BURNING YOUR TOMATOES. |
| 135 | YOU'RE ONE TO TALK. |
| 136 | JOE, YOUR DAD'S IN LOVE BIG TIME |
| 137 | AND THE WORST PART OF IT IS |
| 138 | IT'S WITH TWO DIFFERENT WOMEN. |
| 139 | OH, MAN, PLEASE TELL ME ONE OF THEM IS MA. |
| 140 | OF COURSE. |
| 141 | OF COURSE ONE OF THEM'S MA. |
| 142 | WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? |
| 143 | IT'S LIKE IF YOU WOKE UP ONE DAY |
| 144 | AND FOUND OUT YOUR DAD WAS LEADING THIS DOUBLE LIFE. |
| 145 | HE'S, LIKE, ACTUALLY SOME SPY WORKING FOR THE C.I.A. |
| 146 | THAT WOULD BE COOL. |
| 147 | THIS BLOWS. |
| 148 | YEAH. I KNOW. |
| 149 | WHY CAN'T PARENTS JUST STAY PARENTS? |
| 150 | WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BECOME PEOPLE? |
| 151 | WHY DO THEY HAVE..? |
| 152 | WHY... |
| 153 | CAN'T YOU STOP STARING AT MY BREASTS? |
| 154 | WHAT? |
| 155 | WHAT? |
| 156 | DID YOU NOT GET |
| 157 | A GOOD ENOUGH LOOK THE OTHER DAY? |
| 158 | ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. |
| 159 | WE'RE ALL ADULTS HERE. |
| 160 | THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO RESOLVE THIS. |
| 161 | SINCE YOU SAW HER BOOBIES |
| 162 | I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE |
| 163 | TO SHOW HER YOUR PEE-PEE. |
| 164 | YOU KNOW, I DON'T SEE THAT HAPPENING. |
| 165 | COME ON. HE'S RIGHT. |
| 166 | TIT FOR TAT. |
| 167 | WELL, I'M NOT SHOWING YOU MY TAT. |
| 168 | ( intercom buzzing ) |
| 169 | HELLO. |
| 170 | It's Phoebe. |
| 171 | Rog: And Rog. |
| 172 | COME ON UP. |
| 173 | OH, GOOD. |
| 174 | ROG IS HERE. |
| 175 | WHAT'S WRONG WITH ROG? |
| 176 | AH, IT'S NOTHING. |
| 177 | IT'S A LITTLE THING. |
| 178 | I HATE THAT GUY. |
| 179 | SO HE WAS A LITTLE ANALYTICAL. |
| 180 | THAT'S WHAT HE DOES. |
| 181 | COME ON. HE'S NOT THAT BAD. |
| 182 | THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG. |
| 183 | WHY WOULD I MARRY HER |
| 184 | IF I THOUGHT ON ANY LEVEL THAT SHE WAS A LESBIAN? |
| 185 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 186 | MAYBE YOU WANTED YOUR MARRIAGE TO FAIL. |
| 187 | WHY? |
| 188 | WHY WOULD I? |
| 189 | WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? |
| 190 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 191 | MAYBE... |
| 192 | MAYBE LOW SELF-ESTEEM. |
| 193 | MAYBE TO COMPENSATE FOR OVERSHADOWING A SIBLING. |
| 194 | WAIT. GO BACK TO THAT SIBLING THING. |
| 195 | WELL, I DON'T KNOW. |
| 196 | IT'S CONCEIVABLE |
| 197 | THAT YOU WANTED TO SABOTAGE YOUR MARRIAGE |
| 198 | SO THAT THE SIBLING WOULD FEEL LIKE |
| 199 | LESS OF A FAILURE IN THE EYES OF THE PARENTS. |
| 200 | ( squeaks in disbelief ) |
| 201 | THAT'S... THAT'S RIDICULOUS. |
| 202 | I DON'T FEEL GUILTY FOR HER FAILURES. |
| 203 | SO YOU THINK I'M A FAILURE. |
| 204 | ISN'T HE GOOD? |
| 205 | YEAH. |
| 206 | NO, NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS SAYING. |
| 207 | I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE |
| 208 | BUT MAYBE YOU SUCKED UP TO MOM AND DAD |
| 209 | SO THEY'D KEEP LIKING YOU BETTER. |
| 210 | I MARRIED A LESBIAN TO MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD! |
| 211 | ( voice quavering ): YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 212 | I MEAN, YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 213 | IT WASN'T JUST THE WEEBLES |
| 214 | BUT IT WAS THE WEEBLE PLAY PALACE |
| 215 | AND... |
| 216 | AND THE WEEBLES CRUISE SHIP-- |
| 217 | OH, WHICH HAD THIS LITTLE LIFEBOAT |
| 218 | FOR THE WEEBLES TO WOBBLE IN. |
| 219 | THAT'S TOUGH, TOUGH STUFF. |
| 220 | IF WE'RE GOING TO THAT MOVIE, WE GOT TO GO. |
| 221 | OKAY. FEEL BETTER, RACHEL, OKAY? |
| 222 | PHEEBS, WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE. |
| 223 | LISTEN, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, MON. |
| 224 | NO PROBLEM. |
| 225 | LISTEN, GUYS, IT WAS GREAT SEEING YOU AGAIN. |
| 226 | YEAH. |
| 227 | MON, EASY ON THOSE COOKIES, OKAY? |
| 228 | REMEMBER, THEY'RE JUST FOOD. |
| 229 | THEY'RE NOT LOVE. |
| 230 | I HATE THAT GUY. |
| 231 | Joey: GOOD NIGHT, YOU GUYS. |
| 232 | OH, LOOK. |
| 233 | IT'S THE WOMAN WE ORDERED. |
| 234 | HEY. CAN WE HELP YOU? |
| 235 | AW, NO, THANKS. |
| 236 | I'M JUST WAITING FOR JOEY TRIBBIANI. |
| 237 | I'M JOEY TRIBBIANI. |
| 238 | OH, NO, NOT YOU. |
| 239 | BIG JOEY. |
| 240 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 241 | YOU'RE SO MUCH CUTER THAN YOUR PICTURES. |
| 242 | I'M RONNI. |
| 243 | CHEESE NIP. |
| 244 | UH... JOEY'S HAVING AN EMBOLISM |
| 245 | BUT I'D GO FOR A NIP. |
| 246 | YOU SEE, MOST PEOPLE, WHEN THEIR PETS PASS ON |
| 247 | THEY WANT THEM LAID OUT LIKE THEY'RE SLEEPING. |
| 248 | OCCASIONALLY, YOU GET YOUR PERSON WHO WANTS THEM IN A POSE |
| 249 | LIKE, AH, CHASING THEIR TAIL... |
| 250 | OR JUMPING TO CATCH A FRISBEE. |
| 251 | JOEY, IF I GO FIRST |
| 252 | I WANT TO BE LOOKING FOR MY KEYS. |
| 253 | THAT'S A GOOD ONE. |
| 254 | HEY, JOE. |
| 255 | DAD. RONNI'S HERE. |
| 256 | HUH? |
| 257 | HI. |
| 258 | HEY. |
| 259 | HELLO, BABE. |
| 260 | WHAT ARE... |
| 261 | WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? |
| 262 | WELL, YOU LEFT YOUR GOOD HAIR AT MY APARTMENT. |
| 263 | I FIGURED YOU'D NEED IT TOMORROW FOR YOUR MEETING. |
| 264 | THANK YOU. |
| 265 | SO, WHO'S UP FOR A BIG GAME OF KERPLUNK? |
| 266 | LOOK, I, UH... I SHOULDN'T HAVE COME. |
| 267 | I BETTER GET GOING. |
| 268 | I DON'T WANT TO MISS THE LAST TRAIN. |
| 269 | I DON'T WANT |
| 270 | YOU TAKING THAT THING THIS LATE. |
| 271 | DO I STAY HERE? |
| 272 | WHOA-HO. |
| 273 | WE'LL GO TO A HOTEL. |
| 274 | WE'LL GO TO A HOTEL. |
| 275 | NO, YOU WON'T. |
| 276 | NO, WE WON'T. |
| 277 | IF YOU GO TO A HOTEL |
| 278 | YOU'LL BE... DOING STUFF. |
| 279 | I WANT YOU HERE |
| 280 | WHERE I CAN KEEP AN EYE ON YOU. |
| 281 | YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP AN EYE ON US? |
| 282 | THAT'S RIGHT, AND I DON'T CARE HOW OLD YOU ARE. |
| 283 | AS LONG AS YOU'RE UNDER MY ROOF |
| 284 | YOU'RE GOING TO LIVE BY MY RULES. |
| 285 | AND THAT MEANS NO SLEEPING WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND. |
| 286 | WOW. HE'S STRICT. |
| 287 | NOW, DAD, YOU'LL BE IN MY ROOM. |
| 288 | RONNI, YOU CAN STAY IN CHANDLER'S ROOM. |
| 289 | THANKS. YOU'RE, UH... YOU'RE A GOOD KID. |
| 290 | COME ON. |
| 291 | I'LL SHOW YOU TO MY ROOM. |
| 292 | THAT SOUNDS SO WEIRD WHEN IT'S NOT FOLLOWED BY |
| 293 | "NO, THANKS. IT'S LATE." |
| 294 | OKAY, NOW THIS IS JUST FOR TONIGHT. |
| 295 | TOMORROW, YOU GOT TO MAKE A CHANGE. |
| 296 | SIX YEARS IS LONG ENOUGH. |
| 297 | WHAT CHANGE? |
| 298 | BREAK IT OFF WITH RONNI... |
| 299 | I CAN'T. |
| 300 | THEN YOU GOT TO TELL MA. |
| 301 | THIS IS NOT RIGHT. |
| 302 | BUT... |
| 303 | I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. |
| 304 | NOW GO TO MY ROOM. |
| 305 | HEY, KICKY... |
| 306 | WHAT ARE YOU DOING? |
| 307 | JUST TRYING TO GET COMFORTABLE. |
| 308 | I CAN'T SLEEP IN MY UNDERWEAR. |
| 309 | WELL, YOU'RE GONNA. |
| 310 | I'VE BEEN THINKING. |
| 311 | YOU KNOW, ABOUT HOW I'M ALWAYS SEEING |
| 312 | GIRLS ON TOP OF GIRLS. |
| 313 | ARE THEY END-TO-END OR TALL LIKE PANCAKES? |
| 314 | YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. |
| 315 | I'M ALWAYS GOING OUT WITH ALL THESE WOMEN. |
| 316 | I ALWAYS FIGURED WHEN THE RIGHT ONE COMES ALONG |
| 317 | I'D BE A STAND-UP GUY AND GO THE DISTANCE. |
| 318 | NOW I'M LOOKING AT MY DAD THINKING... |
| 319 | YOU'RE YOU. |
| 320 | WHEN THEY WERE ALL OVER YOU |
| 321 | TO GO INTO YOUR FATHER'S PIPE- FITTING BUSINESS, DID YOU CAVE? |
| 322 | NO. |
| 323 | NO. YOU DECIDED TO GO INTO THE OUT-OF-WORK ACTOR BUSINESS |
| 324 | AND THAT WASN'T EASY, BUT YOU DID IT |
| 325 | AND I'D LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT WHEN |
| 326 | THE RIGHT WOMAN COMES ALONG, YOU WILL HAVE THE COURAGE |
| 327 | AND THE GUTS TO SAY, "NO, THANKS. I'M MARRIED." |
| 328 | YOU REALLY THINK SO? |
| 329 | YEAH, I REALLY DO. |
| 330 | THANKS, CHANDLER. |
| 331 | GET OFF. |
| 332 | ( knocking ) |
| 333 | HI. HI. |
| 334 | MAY I HELP YOU? |
| 335 | YEAH. JOEY SAID I COULD USE YOUR SHOWER |
| 336 | SINCE CHANDLER'S IN OURS. |
| 337 | OKAY... WHO ARE YOU? |
| 338 | OH! I'M RONNI. |
| 339 | RONNI RAPPELANO. |
| 340 | THE MISTRESS. |
| 341 | UM, COME ON IN. |
| 342 | OH, THANKS. |
| 343 | I'M RACHEL. HI. |
| 344 | BATHROOM'S UP THERE. |
| 345 | HOW LONG WOULD YOU SAY CHANDLER'S BEEN IN THE SHOWER? |
| 346 | OH, LIKE, UH, FIVE MINUTES. |
| 347 | ( under breath ): PERFECT. |
| 348 | FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS. |
| 349 | IT'S PEE-PEE TIME. |
| 350 | HEY, MR. TRIB. |
| 351 | HEY. GOOD MORNING, DEAR. |
| 352 | CHANDLER BING, IT'S TIME TO SEE YOUR THING. |
| 353 | ( both scream ) |
| 354 | Joey: WHAT'S THE MATTER |
| 355 | WITH YOU?! |
| 356 | I THOUGHT IT WAS CHANDLER! |
| 357 | YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THERE |
| 358 | SO I COULD SEE YOUR THING! |
| 359 | SORRY. MY THING WAS IN THERE WITH ME. |
| 360 | HEY, PHEEBS. HEY, PHEEBS. |
| 361 | HOW'S IT GOING? |
| 362 | GOOD. ROGER'S HAVING A DINNER THING |
| 363 | AND HE WANTED ME TO INVITE YOU GUYS. |
| 364 | ( faint laugh ) |
| 365 | SO WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 366 | NOTHING. IT'S, UM... |
| 367 | IT'S JUST, UH... |
| 368 | IT'S ROGER. |
| 369 | UM... |
| 370 | THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT... |
| 371 | BASICALLY, WE JUST FEEL THAT HE'S, UH... |
| 372 | WE HATE THAT GUY. |
| 373 | WE HATE HIM. |
| 374 | WE'RE SORRY, PHEEBS. |
| 375 | UH-HUH, OKAY. |
| 376 | DON'T YOU THINK MAYBE, THOUGH, THAT IT'S JUST |
| 377 | THAT HE'S SO PERCEPTIVE THAT IT FREAKED YOU OUT? |
| 378 | All: NO, WE HATE HIM. |
| 379 | I'M SORRY. |
| 380 | ( knocking ) |
| 381 | MA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? |
| 382 | I CAME TO GIVE YOU THIS |
| 383 | AND THIS! |
| 384 | OW! BIG RING. |
| 385 | WHY DID YOU FILL YOUR FATHER'S HEAD |
| 386 | WITH ALL THAT GARBAGE ABOUT MAKING THINGS RIGHT? |
| 387 | THINGS WERE FINE |
| 388 | THE WAY THEY WERE. |
| 389 | THERE'S CHICKEN IN THERE. |
| 390 | PUT IT AWAY. |
| 391 | FOR GOD'S SAKE, JOEY. |
| 392 | REALLY! |
| 393 | HOLD ON. |
| 394 | YOU KNEW? |
| 395 | OF COURSE I KNEW! |
| 396 | WHAT DO YOU THINK? |
| 397 | YOUR FATHER IS NO JAMES BOND. |
| 398 | YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD SOME OF HIS COVER STORIES. |
| 399 | "I'M SLEEPING OVER AT MY ACCOUNTANT'S." |
| 400 | I MEAN, WHAT IS THAT? |
| 401 | PLEASE! |
| 402 | SO, THEN, HOW COULD YOU..? |
| 403 | DO YOU REMEMBER HOW YOUR FATHER USED TO BE? |
| 404 | ALWAYS YELLING. ALWAYS YELLING. |
| 405 | NOTHING MADE HIM HAPPY. |
| 406 | NOTHING MADE HIM HAPPY, NOTHING. |
| 407 | NOT THAT WOOD SHOP |
| 408 | NOT THOSE STUPID LITTLE SHIPS IN THE BOTTLE-- |
| 409 | NOTHING. NOW HE'S HAPPY. |
| 410 | IT'S NICE. HE HAS A HOBBY. |
| 411 | MA, I DON'T MEAN TO BE DISRESPECTFUL, BUT... |
| 412 | WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? |
| 413 | WHAT ABOUT YOU? |
| 414 | ME? I'M FINE. |
| 415 | LOOK, HONEY... |
| 416 | IN AN IDEAL WORLD, THERE'D BE NO HER |
| 417 | AND YOUR FATHER WOULD LOOK LIKE STING. |
| 418 | AND I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE-- |
| 419 | EVER SINCE THAT POODLE STUFFER CAME ALONG |
| 420 | HE'S BEEN SO ASHAMED OF HIMSELF |
| 421 | THAT HE'S BEEN MORE ATTENTIVE. |
| 422 | HE'S BEEN MORE LOVING. |
| 423 | IT'S LIKE EVERY DAY'S OUR ANNIVERSARY. |
| 424 | I'M... HAPPY FOR YOU? |
| 425 | WELL, DON'T BE. |
| 426 | BECAUSE NOW EVERYTHING'S SCREWED UP. |
| 427 | I JUST WANT IT THE WAY IT WAS. |
| 428 | MA, I'M SORRY. |
| 429 | I... I JUST DID WHAT I THOUGHT YOU'D WANT. |
| 430 | I KNOW YOU DID, COOKIE. |
| 431 | OH, I KNOW YOU DID. |
| 432 | SO TELL ME... |
| 433 | DID YOU SEE HER? |
| 434 | YEAH. |
| 435 | HMM. |
| 436 | YOU'RE TEN TIMES PRETTIER THAN SHE IS. |
| 437 | THAT'S SWEET. |
| 438 | COULD I TAKE HER? |
| 439 | HUH... WITH THIS RING? |
| 440 | NO CONTEST. |
| 441 | Roger: WHAT'S WRONG, SWEETIE? |
| 442 | NOTHING. NOTHING. |
| 443 | WHAT'S WRONG? COME ON. |
| 444 | OH, OKAY. |
| 445 | I MEAN, IT'S NOTHING. |
| 446 | I'M FINE. |
| 447 | IT'S JUST, UM... IT'S MY FRIENDS. |
| 448 | THEY HAVE A LIKING PROBLEM WITH YOU |
| 449 | IN THAT, UM, THEY DON'T. |
| 450 | OH. THEY DON'T? |
| 451 | BUT, YOU KNOW, THEY DON'T SEE |
| 452 | ALL THE WONDERFULNESS THAT I SEE. |
| 453 | THEY DON'T SEE ALL THE GOOD STUFF |
| 454 | AND ALL THE SWEET STUFF. |
| 455 | THEY THINK YOU'RE A LITTLE... |
| 456 | WHAT? |
| 457 | INTENSE AND CREEPY. |
| 458 | OH. |
| 459 | BUT I DON'T. |
| 460 | ME, PHOEBE. |
| 461 | WELL, I'M NOT AT ALL SURPRISED |
| 462 | THEY FEEL THAT WAY. |
| 463 | YOU'RE NOT? SEE, THAT'S WHY YOU'RE SO GREAT. |
| 464 | ACTUALLY, IT'S QUITE TYPICAL BEHAVIOR WHEN YOU HAVE |
| 465 | THIS KIND OF DYSFUNCTIONAL GROUP DYNAMIC. |
| 466 | YOU KNOW, THIS KIND OF CO- DEPENDENT, EMOTIONALLY STUNTED |
| 467 | SITTING IN YOUR STUPID COFFEE HOUSE |
| 468 | WITH YOUR STUPID BIG CUPS |
| 469 | WHICH, I'M SORRY, MIGHT AS WELL HAVE NIPPLES ON THEM |
| 470 | AND YOU'RE ALL, LIKE |
| 471 | ( whining ): "OH, DEFINE ME! |
| 472 | "DEFINE ME! |
| 473 | LOVE ME! I NEED LOVE!" |
| 474 | SO YOU TALKED TO YOUR DAD, HUH? |
| 475 | HE'S GOING TO KEEP CHEATING ON MY MA LIKE SHE WANTED |
| 476 | MY MA'S GOING TO KEEP PRETENDING SHE DOESN'T KNOW |
| 477 | AND MY LITTLE SISTER, TINA, CAN'T SEE HER HUSBAND |
| 478 | 'CAUSE HE GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER. |
| 479 | WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING |
| 480 | EXCEPT THAT I FOUND OUT TODAY. |
| 481 | THINGS SURE HAVE CHANGED |
| 482 | HERE ON WALTON'S MOUNTAIN. |
| 483 | SO, JOE, ARE YOU OKAY? |
| 484 | YEAH, I GUESS. |
| 485 | IT'S JUST... YOU KNOW, THEY'RE PARENTS. |
| 486 | AFTER A CERTAIN POINT, YOU GOT TO LET GO |
| 487 | EVEN IF YOU KNOW BETTER |
| 488 | YOU GOT TO LET THEM MAKE THEIR OWN MISTAKES. |
| 489 | AND JUST THINK, IN A COUPLE OF YEARS |
| 490 | WE GET TO TURN INTO THEM. |
| 491 | IF I TURN INTO MY PARENTS, I'LL EITHER BE |
| 492 | AN ALCOHOLIC BLONDE CHASING AFTER 20-YEAR-OLD BOYS OR... |
| 493 | I'LL END UP LIKE MY MOM. |
| 494 | HEY. |
| 495 | All: HEY, PHEEBS. |
| 496 | HOW'S IT GOING? |
| 497 | OH, OKAY, EXCEPT I BROKE UP WITH ROGER. |
| 498 | All: OH. |
| 499 | YEAH, RIGHT. |
| 500 | NO, NO, NO. REALLY. |
| 501 | WHAT HAPPENED? |
| 502 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 503 | I MEAN, HE'S A GOOD PERSON AND HE CAN BE REALLY SWEET |
| 504 | AND IN SOME WAYS, I THINK HE IS SO RIGHT FOR ME. |
| 505 | IT'S JUST... I HATE THAT GUY. |
| 506 | HI, JOEY. |
| 507 | WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 508 | CLEAR THE TRACKS |
| 509 | FOR THE BOOBIE PAYBACK EXPRESS. |
| 510 | NEXT STOP: RACHEL GREEN. |
| 511 | ( both scream ) |
| 512 | JOEY, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?! |
| 513 | SORRY. WRONG BOOBIES. |
| 514 | HELLO, JOEY. |
| 515 | HUH? HELLO, DEAR. |
| 516 | |
| 1 | I'M TELLING YOU, ROSS, SHE WANTS YOU. |
| 2 | SHE BARELY KNOWS ME. |
| 3 | WE LIVE IN THE SAME BUILDING. |
| 4 | ANY CONTACT? |
| 5 | SHE LENT ME AN EGG ONCE. |
| 6 | YOU'RE IN. |
| 7 | OH, RIGHT. |
| 8 | HI, ROSS. |
| 9 | HI, K-K-K... |
| 10 | ( splutters ) |
| 11 | COME ON, ROSS. |
| 12 | YOU GET TO GET BACK IN THE GAME HERE. |
| 13 | RACHEL'S NOT HAPPENING |
| 14 | AND YOUR EX-WIFE'S A LESBIAN. |
| 15 | I DON'T THINK WE NEED A THIRD. |
| 16 | EXCUSE ME, COULD WE GET AN EGG OVER HERE |
| 17 | STILL IN THE SHELL. |
| 18 | AN EGG? |
| 19 | YEAH. YOU'RE GOING TO GO UP TO HER AND SAY |
| 20 | "HERE'S YOUR EGG BACK. |
| 21 | I'M RETURNING YOUR EGG." |
| 22 | I THINK IT'S WINNING. |
| 23 | I THINK IT'S INSANE. |
| 24 | SHE'LL LOVE IT. |
| 25 | THANK YOU. |
| 26 | THANK YOU. |
| 27 | HERE. |
| 28 | ( stammering ) |
| 29 | GO WITH THE EGG, MY FRIEND. |
| 30 | GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. |
| 31 | IS IT GOING TO WORK? |
| 32 | NO WAY. IT'S SUICIDE. |
| 33 | THE MAN'S GOT AN EGG. |
| 34 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 35 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 36 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 37 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 39 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 40 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 41 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 42 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 43 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 44 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 45 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 46 | YOU CANNOT DO THIS. |
| 47 | WHAT? DO WHAT? |
| 48 | ROGER WANTS TO TAKE HER OUT |
| 49 | TOMORROW NIGHT. |
| 50 | DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHY YOU DUMPED HIM? |
| 51 | 'CAUSE HE WAS CREEPY. |
| 52 | AND MEAN, AND A LITTLE FRIGHTENING. |
| 53 | STILL, IT'S NICE TO HAVE A DATE ON VALENTINE'S DAY. |
| 54 | PHOEBE, YOU CAN GO OUT WITH A CREEPY GUY |
| 55 | ANY NIGHT OF THE YEAR. |
| 56 | I KNOW I DO. |
| 57 | HI. |
| 58 | HI. HI. |
| 59 | WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING TOMORROW NIGHT? |
| 60 | TOMORROW NIGHT DEPENDS ON HOW TONIGHT GOES. |
| 61 | OH, LISTEN, ABOUT TONIGHT... |
| 62 | DON'T YOU DARE |
| 63 | BAIL ON ME. |
| 64 | SHE'S GOING OUT WITH ME |
| 65 | BECAUSE I'M BRINGING A FRIEND FOR HER FRIEND. |
| 66 | BUT HER FRIEND SOUNDS LIKE SUCH A... |
| 67 | PATHETIC MESS. |
| 68 | I KNOW. |
| 69 | COME ON, MAN. |
| 70 | SHE'S NEEDY, SHE'S VULNERABLE. |
| 71 | I'M THINKING... CHA-CHING. |
| 72 | THANKS. |
| 73 | YOU HAVE NOT BEEN OUT WITH A WOMAN SINCE JANICE. |
| 74 | YOU'RE DOING THIS. |
| 75 | HI. |
| 76 | HI. HI. |
| 77 | SHE SAID YES. |
| 78 | YES! |
| 79 | WAY TO GO, MAN! |
| 80 | ( cracking sound ) |
| 81 | STILL GOT THE EGG, HUH? |
| 82 | YEAH. |
| 83 | HOW DO I LOOK? |
| 84 | UM... I DON'T CARE. |
| 85 | THERE'S LORRAINE. |
| 86 | OKAY, NOW REMEMBER-- |
| 87 | NO TRADING. |
| 88 | YOU GET THE PRETTY ONE, I GET THE MESS. |
| 89 | HI, JOEY. |
| 90 | HEY. |
| 91 | WELL, WELL, LOOK WHAT YOU BROUGHT. |
| 92 | VERY NICE. |
| 93 | AND WHAT DID YOU BRING? |
| 94 | SHE'S CHECKING HER COAT. |
| 95 | JOEY, I'M GOING TO GO WASH THE CAB SMELL OFF MY HANDS. |
| 96 | WILL YOU GET ME A WHITE ZINFANDEL |
| 97 | AND A GLASS OF RED FOR JANICE. |
| 98 | JANICE? |
| 99 | NO. |
| 100 | JANICE? |
| 101 | OH... MY... GOD. |
| 102 | HEY, IT'S JANICE. |
| 103 | OKAY, I'M MAKING A BREAK FOR IT. |
| 104 | I'M GOING OUT THE WINDOW. |
| 105 | NO, NO, DON'T. |
| 106 | PLEASE, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER |
| 107 | TO GO OUT WITH LORRAINE. |
| 108 | JUST CALM DOWN. |
| 109 | CALM DOWN? |
| 110 | YOU SET ME UP WITH A WOMAN I DUMPED TWICE |
| 111 | IN THE LAST FIVE MONTHS! |
| 112 | HEY, CAN YOU STOP YELLING? |
| 113 | YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS AND... |
| 114 | I CAN'T GO WHEN I'M NERVOUS. |
| 115 | I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 116 | COME ON! GO! GO! GO! |
| 117 | COME ON! |
| 118 | OKAY, ROGER WAS CREEPY |
| 119 | BUT HE WAS NOTHING |
| 120 | COMPARED TO PETE CARNEY. |
| 121 | WHICH ONE WAS PETE CARNEY? |
| 122 | PETE THE WEEPER? |
| 123 | REMEMBER THE GUY THAT USED TO CRY |
| 124 | EVERY TIME WE HAD SEX? |
| 125 | ( crying ): WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU? |
| 126 | YEAH, WELL, I'D TAKE A LITTLE CRYING ANY DAY |
| 127 | OVER HOWARD THE "I WIN" GUY. |
| 128 | I WIN! I WIN! |
| 129 | I WENT OUT |
| 130 | WITH THE GUY FOR TWO MONTHS. |
| 131 | I DIDN'T GET TO WIN ONCE. |
| 132 | HOW DO WE END UP WITH THESE JERKS? |
| 133 | WE'RE GOOD PEOPLE. |
| 134 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 135 | MAYBE WE'RE LIKE SOME KIND OF MAGNETS. |
| 136 | I KNOW I AM. |
| 137 | THAT'S WHY I CAN'T WEAR A DIGITAL WATCH. |
| 138 | THERE'S MORE BEER, RIGHT? |
| 139 | OH! YOU KNOW MY FRIEND ABBY WHO SHAVES HER HEAD? |
| 140 | SHE SAYS THAT IF YOU WANT TO BREAK |
| 141 | THE BAD BOYFRIEND CYCLE |
| 142 | YOU CAN DO, LIKE, A CLEANSING RITUAL. |
| 143 | PHEEBS, THIS WOMAN IS VOLUNTARILY BALD. |
| 144 | YEAH. SO... |
| 145 | WE CAN DO IT TOMORROW NIGHT, GUYS. |
| 146 | IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY. |
| 147 | IT'S PERFECT. |
| 148 | OKAY. WELL, WHAT KIND OF RITUAL? |
| 149 | OKAY. WE CAN BURN THE STUFF THEY GAVE US. |
| 150 | OR... |
| 151 | OR... OR WE CAN CHANT AND DANCE AROUND NAKED. |
| 152 | YOU KNOW, WITH STICKS. |
| 153 | BURNING'S GOOD. BURNING'S GOOD. |
| 154 | PLENTY OF STUFF TO BURN. |
| 155 | YOU KNOW... |
| 156 | EVER SINCE I WAS LITTLE |
| 157 | I'VE BEEN ABLE TO PICK UP QUARTERS |
| 158 | WITH MY TOES. |
| 159 | YEAH? |
| 160 | GOOD FOR YOU. |
| 161 | UH... QUARTERS OR ROLLS OF QUARTERS? |
| 162 | BY THE WAY, CHANDLER... |
| 163 | I CUT YOU OUT OF ALL MY PICTURES |
| 164 | SO IF YOU WANT, I HAVE A BAG WITH JUST YOUR HEADS. |
| 165 | THAT'S OKAY. |
| 166 | ARE YOU SURE? |
| 167 | BECAUSE YOU COULD MAKE LITTLE PUPPETS OUT OF THEM |
| 168 | AND YOU COULD USE THEM IN YOUR THEATER OF CRUELTY. |
| 169 | WE CAN'T DO THAT. |
| 170 | WHAT? WHAT CAN'T YOU DO? |
| 171 | UH... CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND OVER THERE. |
| 172 | UH... WE MIGHT BE LEAVING NOW. |
| 173 | TELL ME IT'S "YOU AND ME" WE. |
| 174 | SHE SAID SHE WANTS TO SLATHER MY BODY WITH STUFF |
| 175 | AND THEN LICK IT OFF. |
| 176 | I'M NOT EVEN SURE WHAT SLATHERING IS. |
| 177 | BUT I DEFINITELY WANT TO BE A PART OF IT. |
| 178 | OKAY, YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME. |
| 179 | YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY. |
| 180 | YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 181 | CAN WE HAVE THREE CHOCOLATE MOUSSES TO GO, PLEASE? |
| 182 | I'M OUT OF HERE. |
| 183 | LOOK... |
| 184 | HERE'S MY CREDIT CARD. |
| 185 | DINNER'S ON ME. |
| 186 | I'M SORRY, CHANDLER. |
| 187 | I HOPE SHE THROWS UP ON YOU. |
| 188 | THANKS. |
| 189 | SO... |
| 190 | JUST US. |
| 191 | OH, WHAT A CRAPPY NIGHT. |
| 192 | ALTHOUGH... I HAVE ENJOYED THE FACT |
| 193 | THAT YOUR SHIRT'S BEEN STICKING OUT |
| 194 | OF YOUR ZIPPER EVER SINCE YOU CAME BACK |
| 195 | FROM THE BATHROOM. |
| 196 | ( laughs ) |
| 197 | EXCUSE ME. |
| 198 | HOW YOU DOING? |
| 199 | SO... |
| 200 | DO WE HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS OR WHAT? |
| 201 | JOEY'S NOT A FRIEND. |
| 202 | HE'S... |
| 203 | A STUPID MAN WHO LEFT US HIS CREDIT CARD. |
| 204 | ANOTHER DRINK? SOME DESSERT? A BIG SCREEN TV? |
| 205 | I WILL GO FOR THAT DRINK. |
| 206 | YOU GOT IT. |
| 207 | GOOD WOMAN? |
| 208 | CAN WE GET A BOTTLE |
| 209 | OF YOUR MOST OVERPRICED CHAMPAGNE? |
| 210 | EACH. |
| 211 | THAT'S RIGHT, EACH. |
| 212 | OH, AND A ROB ROY. |
| 213 | I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW. |
| 214 | HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. |
| 215 | OH, I MISS YOU ALREADY. |
| 216 | CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED? |
| 217 | NO... NO! |
| 218 | AND YET IT DID. |
| 219 | GOOD-BYE, JANICE. |
| 220 | KISS ME. |
| 221 | OH, CHANDLER, SORRY. |
| 222 | ( honeyed tones ): OH, CHANDLER, SORRY... |
| 223 | HEY, JANICE. |
| 224 | HI, MONICA. |
| 225 | OKAY, WELL, THIS WAS VERY SPECIAL. |
| 226 | RACH, COME SEE WHO'S OUT HERE. |
| 227 | WHAT'S GOING... |
| 228 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 229 | JANICE, HI. |
| 230 | HI. |
| 231 | JANICE IS GOING TO GO AWAY NOW. |
| 232 | I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. |
| 233 | OH... |
| 234 | JOEY, LOOK WHO IT IS. |
| 235 | WHOA. |
| 236 | OH, GOOD, JOEY'S HOME NOW. |
| 237 | THIS IS SO MUCH FUN. |
| 238 | THIS IS LIKE A REUNION IN THE HALL. |
| 239 | ( laughing nasally ) |
| 240 | OH, HI, ROSS. |
| 241 | THERE'S SOMEONE I WANT YOU TO SAY HI TO. |
| 242 | HE JUST HAPPENED TO CALL. |
| 243 | HELLO, ROSS. |
| 244 | YES, THAT'S RIGHT. |
| 245 | IT'S ME. |
| 246 | HOW DID YOU KNOW? |
| 247 | I'M JUST SAYING IF DOGS DO EXPERIENCE JET LAG |
| 248 | THEN BECAUSE OF THE WHOLE |
| 249 | "SEVEN DOG YEARS TO ONE HUMAN YEAR" THING |
| 250 | THAT WHEN A DOG FLIES FROM NEW YORK TO LOS ANGELES |
| 251 | HE DOESN'T JUST LOSE THREE HOURS |
| 252 | HE LOSES, LIKE, A WEEK AND A HALF. |
| 253 | THAT'S FUNNY. |
| 254 | YEAH. |
| 255 | WHO ARE THEY? |
| 256 | THE BLONDE IS MY EX-WIFE |
| 257 | AND THE WOMAN |
| 258 | TOUCHING HER IS HER |
| 259 | CLOSE, PERSONAL FRIEND. |
| 260 | YOU MEAN THEY'RE LOVERS? |
| 261 | IF YOU WANT TO PUT A LABEL ON IT. |
| 262 | WOW... |
| 263 | UH, ANYTHING ELSE I SHOULD KNOW? |
| 264 | NOPE, NOPE, THAT'S IT. |
| 265 | OH, AND SHE'S PREGNANT WITH MY BABY. |
| 266 | I ALWAYS FORGET THAT PART. |
| 267 | HELLOOO... |
| 268 | Phoebe: OKAY, SO NOW WE NEED SAGE BRANCHES |
| 269 | AND THE SACRAMENTAL WINE. |
| 270 | ALL I HAD IS OREGANO AND A FRESCA. |
| 271 | UM... THAT'S OKAY. |
| 272 | OOH... |
| 273 | OKAY. |
| 274 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 275 | NOW WE NEED THE SEMEN OF A RIGHTEOUS MAN. |
| 276 | OKAY, PHEEBS, YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 277 | IF WE HAD THAT, WE WOULDN'T BE DOING THE RITUAL |
| 278 | IN THE FIRST PLACE. |
| 279 | CAN WE JUST START THROWING THINGS IN? |
| 280 | YEAH, OKAY. |
| 281 | OH. |
| 282 | OKAY. |
| 283 | OKAY, BARRY'S LETTERS. |
| 284 | ADAM RITTER'S BOXER SHORTS. |
| 285 | AND I HAVE |
| 286 | THE RECEIPT FROM MY DINNER WITH |
| 287 | ( clicking tongue ): NOKULULE OON AH. |
| 288 | HERE'S A PICTURE OF SCOTTY JARED NAKED. |
| 289 | OH, LET ME SEE. |
| 290 | HE'S WEARING A SWEATER. |
| 291 | NO. |
| 292 | EWW! EWW! |
| 293 | OKAY, HERE WE HAVE THE LAST OF PAOLO'S GRAPPA. |
| 294 | WAIT, RACHEL. |
| 295 | ISN'T THAT ALMOST PURE-- |
| 296 | HOW CAN I DUMP THIS WOMAN ON VALENTINE'S DAY? |
| 297 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 298 | YOU DUMPED HER ON NEW YEAR'S. |
| 299 | OH, MAN. |
| 300 | IN MY NEXT LIFE, I'M COMING BACK AS A TOILET BRUSH. |
| 301 | HELLO, FUNNY VALENTINE. |
| 302 | HI, JUST JANICE. |
| 303 | HELLO, JOEY |
| 304 | OUR LITTLE MATCHMAKER. |
| 305 | I COULD JUST KISS YOU ALL OVER AND I'M GONNA. |
| 306 | IF YOU DON'T DO IT, I WILL. |
| 307 | SO, UM, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? |
| 308 | WELL, UM, FOR THE PAST... |
| 309 | ( beeping ) |
| 310 | OH, GOD! |
| 311 | YOU SAID THEY COULD SHOOT THE SPOT WITHOUT YOU. |
| 312 | I THOUGHT THEY COULD. |
| 313 | BUT IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY. |
| 314 | I KNOW, BUT IT'S MY JOB. |
| 315 | I'LL TRY TO GET BACK AS SOON AS I CAN. |
| 316 | I'M SORRY. |
| 317 | Carol: YEAH, I KNOW. |
| 318 | ...WHICH IS FUNNY |
| 319 | BECAUSE THAT WASN'T EVEN MY MAJOR. |
| 320 | NOW THAT IS FUNNY. |
| 321 | HEY, DO YOU THINK... |
| 322 | WOULD IT BE TOO WEIRD |
| 323 | IF I INVITED CAROL OVER TO JOIN US? |
| 324 | 'CAUSE SHE'S, SHE'S ALONE NOW, |
| 325 | AND PREGNANT AND SAD. |
| 326 | I GUESS. |
| 327 | ARE YOU SURE? |
| 328 | THANKS. |
| 329 | CAROL, WANT TO COME OVER AND JOIN US? |
| 330 | OH, NO, I'M FINE. |
| 331 | COME ON. THESE PEOPLE WILL SCOOCH DOWN. |
| 332 | YOU GUYS WILL SCOOCH, WON'T YOU? |
| 333 | LET'S TRY SCOOCHING. |
| 334 | COME ON. |
| 335 | COME ON. |
| 336 | THANK YOU. |
| 337 | UH, KRISTEN RIGGS, THIS IS CAROL WILLICK. |
| 338 | CAROL, KRISTEN. |
| 339 | HOW DO YOU DO? |
| 340 | UM, CAROL TEACHES SIXTH GRADE. |
| 341 | AND, UH, KRISTEN... |
| 342 | KRISTEN DOES SOMETHING THAT, FUNNILY ENOUGH |
| 343 | WASN'T EVEN HER MAJOR. |
| 344 | WHAT DO WE GOT THERE? |
| 345 | PIECE OF SOMETHING: BOXER SHORTS... |
| 346 | LOOKS LIKE A HALF-CHARRED PICTURE... |
| 347 | WOW, THAT GUY'S HAIRIER THAN THE CHIEF. |
| 348 | YOU KNOW, IT'S A REALLY FUNNY STORY |
| 349 | HOW THIS HAPPENED. |
| 350 | IT'S ALL RIGHT. |
| 351 | YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN. |
| 352 | THIS ISN'T THE FIRST BOYFRIEND BONFIRE |
| 353 | WE'VE SEEN GET OUT OF CONTROL. |
| 354 | YOU'RE OUR THIRD CALL TONIGHT. |
| 355 | REALLY? |
| 356 | OH, SURE. VALENTINE'S OUR BUSIEST NIGHT |
| 357 | OF THE YEAR. |
| 358 | I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING. |
| 359 | IS IT LOADED? |
| 360 | OH, LITTLE CANDY HEARTS. |
| 361 | "CHAN AND JAN FOREVER." |
| 362 | I HAD THEM MADE SPECIAL. |
| 363 | OKAY, JANICE. |
| 364 | JANICE... |
| 365 | HEY, JANICE. |
| 366 | LOOK, THERE'S NO WAY FOR ME TO TELL YOU THIS. |
| 367 | AT LEAST, THERE'S NO NEW WAY FOR ME |
| 368 | TO TELL YOU THIS. |
| 369 | I JUST DON'T THINK THINGS ARE GOING TO WORK OUT. |
| 370 | THAT'S FINE. |
| 371 | IT IS? |
| 372 | MM-HMM. |
| 373 | BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THIS ISN'T THE END. |
| 374 | OH, NO, YOU SEE, ACTUALLY IT IS. |
| 375 | NO, IT ISN'T |
| 376 | BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN. |
| 377 | DON'T YOU KNOW IT YET? |
| 378 | YOU LOVE ME, CHANDLER BING. |
| 379 | OH, NO, I DON'T. |
| 380 | ASK YOURSELF-- |
| 381 | WHY DO WE KEEP ENDING UP TOGETHER? |
| 382 | NEW YEAR'S-- WHO INVITED WHO? |
| 383 | VALENTINE'S-- WHO ASKED WHO INTO WHOSE BED? |
| 384 | I DID, BUT... |
| 385 | YOU SEEK ME OUT. |
| 386 | SOMETHING DEEP IN YOUR SOUL CALLS OUT TO ME LIKE A FOGHORN. |
| 387 | ( imitates foghorn ): JAN-ICE, JAN-ICE. |
| 388 | YOU WANT ME. |
| 389 | YOU NEED ME. |
| 390 | YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT ME |
| 391 | AND YOU KNOW IT. |
| 392 | YOU JUST DON'T KNOW YOU KNOW IT. |
| 393 | SEE YA. |
| 394 | CALL ME. |
| 395 | Carol: NOT TRUE. I NEVER CALLED YOUR MOTHER A WOLVERINE. |
| 396 | YOU DID SO. |
| 397 | I SWEAR TO-- |
| 398 | HOW LONG HAS SHE BEEN IN THE BATHROOM? |
| 399 | UH, I DON'T THINK SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM. |
| 400 | HER COAT IS GONE. |
| 401 | WELL, MAYBE IT'S COLD IN THERE. |
| 402 | OH... |
| 403 | MAYBE I SCREWED UP |
| 404 | THE FIRST DATE I HAD IN NINE YEARS. |
| 405 | THAT COULD BE IT. |
| 406 | OH, GOD. |
| 407 | YOU KNOW, THIS IS STILL PRETTY HOT. |
| 408 | MUSHROOM. |
| 409 | OH, SMILE. |
| 410 | THEY WON'T ALL BE LIKE THIS. |
| 411 | SOME WOMEN MIGHT EVEN STAY THROUGH DINNER. |
| 412 | I'M SORRY. THAT'S NOT FUNNY. |
| 413 | IT'S JUST... |
| 414 | WELL, YOU KNOW THE WHOLE |
| 415 | "GETTING ON WITH YOUR LIFE" THING? |
| 416 | WELL, DO I HAVE TO? |
| 417 | I MEAN, I'M SITTING HERE WITH THIS CUTE WOMAN |
| 418 | AND, AND, AND SHE'S PERFECTLY NICE, YOU KNOW? |
| 419 | AND, BUT THAT THERE'S... |
| 420 | THAT'S IT. |
| 421 | AND, UM, AND THEN I'M HERE TALKING TO YOU |
| 422 | AND IT'S EASY, AND IT'S FUN AND I DON'T HAVE TO... |
| 423 | I KNOW. |
| 424 | YOU KNOW? |
| 425 | HERE'S A WACKY THOUGHT-- |
| 426 | WHAT SAY YOU AND I GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT? |
| 427 | ROSS... |
| 428 | I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY. |
| 429 | YOU'RE A LESBIAN. |
| 430 | BUT LET'S... |
| 431 | WHAT DO YOU SAY WE JUST PUT THAT ASIDE FOR NOW? |
| 432 | LET'S JUST STICK A PIN IN IT, OKAY? |
| 433 | BECAUSE WE'RE GREAT TOGETHER. |
| 434 | YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T DENY IT. |
| 435 | AND BESIDE |
| 436 | YOU'RE CARRYING MY BABY. |
| 437 | I MEAN, HOW PERFECT IS THAT? |
| 438 | ROSS... |
| 439 | YOU KNOW, YOU KEEP SAYING THAT |
| 440 | BUT THERE'S SOMETHING RIGHT HERE. |
| 441 | I LOVE YOU. |
| 442 | OH, I LOVE YOU TOO. |
| 443 | BUT... |
| 444 | NO BUT, NO BUT. |
| 445 | YOU KNOW THAT THING WE PUT OVER HERE |
| 446 | WITH THE PIN IN IT? |
| 447 | IT'S TIME TO TAKE THE PIN OUT. |
| 448 | YEAH. |
| 449 | YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE, I KNOW YOU WELL. |
| 450 | THE RIGHT WOMAN IS WAITING FOR YOU. |
| 451 | THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY. |
| 452 | YOU FOUND ONE ALREADY. |
| 453 | ALL YOU NEED IS A WOMAN WHO LIKES MEN |
| 454 | AND YOU'LL BE SET. |
| 455 | NOT HER. |
| 456 | WE GET OFF AROUND MIDNIGHT. |
| 457 | WE'LL PICK YOU UP THEN. |
| 458 | OKAY, GREAT. |
| 459 | SO, UM, WILL YOU BRING THE TRUCK? |
| 460 | I'LL EVEN LET YOU RING THE BELL. |
| 461 | BYE. |
| 462 | BYE. I CAN'T WAIT. |
| 463 | THANKS. |
| 464 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 465 | SEE, THERE YOU GO. |
| 466 | THE CLEANSING WORKED. |
| 467 | YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 468 | THEY'RE NICE GUYS. |
| 469 | THEY'RE FIREMEN GUYS. |
| 470 | YOU GUYS TELL THEM YOU WERE MARRIED? |
| 471 | [Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation] |
| 472 | |
| 1 | COFFEE. |
| 2 | THANK YOU. |
| 3 | CAPPUCCINO. |
| 4 | GRAZIE. |
| 5 | AND A NICE HOT CIDER FOR MONICA. |
| 6 | AW, THANK YOU. |
| 7 | RACH? YEAH? |
| 8 | WHY DOES MY CINNAMON STICK HAVE AN ERASER? |
| 9 | OH... |
| 10 | OH... THAT'S WHY. |
| 11 | I'M SORRY. |
| 12 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 13 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 14 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 15 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 16 | ♪ WHEN IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 17 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 18 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 19 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 20 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 21 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 22 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 23 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 24 | ( clacking keys ) |
| 25 | CHANDLER... |
| 26 | MISS TEDLOCK YOU'RE LOOKING LOVELY TODAY. |
| 27 | AND MAY I SAY THAT IS A VERY FLATTERING |
| 28 | SLEEVE LENGTH ON YOU. |
| 29 | YES. WELL... MR. KOSTELIC WOULD LIKE YOU |
| 30 | TO STOP BY HIS OFFICE AT THE END OF THE DAY. |
| 31 | OH, LISTEN, IF THIS IS ABOUT THOSE PRANK MEMOS |
| 32 | I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM-- REALLY, NOTHING AT ALL. |
| 33 | REALLY, NOTHING. |
| 34 | HEY, YOU GUYS-- |
| 35 | CHANDLER'S COMING, AND HE SAYS HE HAS |
| 36 | INCREDIBLE NEWS. |
| 37 | SO WHEN HE COMES, LET'S ALL ACT LIKE... |
| 38 | HEY. |
| 39 | NEVER MIND. BUT IT WAS GOING TO BE |
| 40 | REALLY GOOD. |
| 41 | WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 42 | WHAT'S UP? |
| 43 | IT'S A TYPICAL DAY AT WORK. |
| 44 | BIG AL CALLS ME INTO HIS OFFICE |
| 45 | AND SAYS HE WANTS TO MAKE ME PROCESSING SUPERVISOR. |
| 46 | THAT IS GREAT! |
| 47 | CONGRATULATIONS. |
| 48 | SO... I QUIT. |
| 49 | WHY? |
| 50 | THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A TEMP JOB. |
| 51 | CHANDLER, YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR FIVE YEARS. |
| 52 | BUT IF I TOOK THIS PROMOTION IT'D BE LIKE ADMITTING |
| 53 | THAT THIS IS WHAT I ACTUALLY DO. |
| 54 | IS IT A LOT MORE MONEY? |
| 55 | IT DOESN'T MATTER. |
| 56 | I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE GUYS |
| 57 | THAT'S IN HIS OFFICE UNTIL 12:00 AT NIGHT |
| 58 | WORRYING ABOUT THE WEENUS. |
| 59 | THE... THE WEENUS? |
| 60 | "WEEKLY ESTIMATED NET USAGE SYSTEMS." |
| 61 | IT'S A PROCESSING TERM. |
| 62 | OH... THAT WEENUS. |
| 63 | SO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? |
| 64 | I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO, |
| 65 | I JUST KNOW I WON'T FIGURE IT OUT WORKING THERE. |
| 66 | OH! I HAVE SOMETHING YOU CAN DO. |
| 67 | I HAVE THIS NEW MASSAGE CLIENT-- STEVE. |
| 68 | ANYWAY, HE'S OPENING UP A RESTAURANT |
| 69 | AND HE'S LOOKING FOR A HEAD CHEF. |
| 70 | UM... HI, THERE. |
| 71 | HI. |
| 72 | OH, YEAH, I KNOW, YOU'RE A CHEF. |
| 73 | AND I THOUGHT OF YOU FIRST. |
| 74 | BUT CHANDLER'S THE ONE WHO NEEDS A JOB RIGHT NOW, SO... |
| 75 | I JUST DON'T HAVE A LOT OF CHEFFING EXPERIENCE. |
| 76 | UNLESS IT'S AN ALL-TOAST RESTAURANT. |
| 77 | YEAH, YEAH. |
| 78 | WHAT KIND OF FOOD IS HE LOOKING FOR? |
| 79 | HE WANTS TO DO SOMETHING ECLECTIC. |
| 80 | SO HE'S LOOKING FOR SOMEONE |
| 81 | WHO CAN CREATE THE ENTIRE MENU. |
| 82 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 83 | YEAH, I KNOW. |
| 84 | SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? |
| 85 | THANKS, PHEEB. I JUST DON'T REALLY SEE MYSELF |
| 86 | IN A BIG WHITE HAT. |
| 87 | OKAY. |
| 88 | OH, MONICA, GUESS WHAT! |
| 89 | CAN YOU SEE MY NIPPLES THROUGH THIS SHIRT? |
| 90 | N-NO. |
| 91 | BUT DON'T WORRY-- I'M SURE THEY'RE STILL THERE. |
| 92 | WHERE ARE YOU GOING MR. SUITY-MAN? |
| 93 | WELL, I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TO SEE DR. ROBERT PILLMAN-- |
| 94 | CAREER COUNSELOR A-GO-GO. |
| 95 | I ADDED THE "A-GO-GO." |
| 96 | CAREER COUNSELOR? |
| 97 | HEY, YOU GUYS ALL KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. |
| 98 | I DON'T. |
| 99 | HEY, YOU GUYS IN THE LIVING ROOM ALL KNOW |
| 100 | WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. |
| 101 | YOU HAVE GOALS, YOU HAVE DREAMS. |
| 102 | I DON'T HAVE A DREAM. |
| 103 | AH, THE LESSER-KNOWN "I DON'T HAVE A DREAM" SPEECH. |
| 104 | OH, I LOVE MY LIFE! I LOVE MY LIFE! |
| 105 | "BRIAN'S SONG"! |
| 106 | THE MEETING WITH THAT GUY WENT GREAT? |
| 107 | IT WAS SO GREAT. |
| 108 | HE SHOWED ME WHERE THE RESTAURANT'S GOING TO BE. |
| 109 | IT'S NOT TOO BIG, IT'S NOT TOO SMALL. |
| 110 | IT'S JUST RIGHT. |
| 111 | WAS IT FORMERLY OWNED BY A BLONDE WOMAN AND SOME BEARS? |
| 112 | I'M COOKING DINNER FOR HIM MONDAY NIGHT. |
| 113 | KIND OF LIKE AN AUDITION. |
| 114 | PHOEBE, HE REALLY WANTS YOU TO BE HERE. |
| 115 | WHICH IS GREAT, 'CAUSE THEN |
| 116 | YOU CAN MAKE YUMMY NOISES. |
| 117 | WHAT ARE YOU MAKING? |
| 118 | YUMMY NOISES. |
| 119 | AND, MONICA, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE? |
| 120 | I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST GOT TO BE SO GREAT. |
| 121 | OH! I KNOW WHAT YOU COULD MAKE. |
| 122 | YOU SHOULD MAKE THAT THING WITH THE STUFF. |
| 123 | YOU KNOW THAT... THING. |
| 124 | WITH THE STUFF. |
| 125 | OKAY, I DON'T KNOW. |
| 126 | HEY GUYS, DOES ANYONE KNOW |
| 127 | A GOOD DATE PLACE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD? |
| 128 | UH... HOW ABOUT TONY'S? |
| 129 | IF YOU CAN FINISH A 32-OUNCE STEAK, IT'S FREE. |
| 130 | OKAY. |
| 131 | HEY, DOES ANYONE KNOW A GOOD PLACE |
| 132 | IF YOU'RE NOT DATING A PUMA? |
| 133 | WHO ARE YOU GOING OUT WITH? |
| 134 | OH! IS THIS THE BUG LADY? |
| 135 | ( buzzing ) "I LOVE YOU, ROSS." |
| 136 | HER NAME IS CELIA. |
| 137 | SHE'S NOT A BUG LADY. |
| 138 | SHE'S CURATOR OF INSECTS AT THE MUSEUM. |
| 139 | SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO DO? |
| 140 | WE'D GO OUT TO DINNER |
| 141 | AND THEN MAYBE BRING HER BACK TO MY PLACE |
| 142 | AND I'D INTRODUCE HER TO MY MONKEY. |
| 143 | AND HE'S NOT SPEAKING METAPHORICALLY. |
| 144 | SOOO... BACK TO YOUR PLACE. |
| 145 | YOU'RE THINKIN' MAYBE... HEH-HEH? |
| 146 | ( clears throat ) |
| 147 | WELL, I DON'T KNOW, HEH-HEH. |
| 148 | I'M HOPING, HEH-HEH. |
| 149 | I'M TELLING YOU-- THAT MONKEY IS A CHICK MAGNET. |
| 150 | SHE'S GOING TO TAKE ONE LOOK AT HIS FURRY CUTE LITTLE FACE |
| 151 | AND IT'LL SEAL THE DEAL. |
| 152 | ( screaming ) |
| 153 | SOOTHING TONES, CELIA. |
| 154 | ( screaming louder ) |
| 155 | 'NANA... |
| 156 | I CAN'T STAND THIS. |
| 157 | HE'S GOT HIS CLAWS ON MY... |
| 158 | YEAH. |
| 159 | OKAY. TRY THIS SALMON MOUSSE. |
| 160 | MMM. GOOD. |
| 161 | YEAH? IS IT BETTER THAN THE OTHER SALMON MOUSSE? |
| 162 | IT'S CREAMIER. |
| 163 | YEAH. WELL, IS THAT BETTER? |
| 164 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 165 | WE'RE TALKING ABOUT WHIPPED FISH. |
| 166 | I'M JUST HAPPY I'M KEEPING IT DOWN. |
| 167 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 168 | WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? |
| 169 | EIGHT AND A HALF HOURS OF APTITUDE TESTS |
| 170 | INTELLIGENCE TESTS, PERSONALITY TESTS, |
| 171 | AND WHAT DO I LEARN? |
| 172 | "YOU ARE IDEALLY SUITED FOR A CAREER IN DATA PROCESSING |
| 173 | FOR A LARGE MULTINATIONAL COOPERATION." |
| 174 | THAT'S SO GREAT |
| 175 | 'CAUSE YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. |
| 176 | CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? |
| 177 | DON'T I SEEM LIKE SOMEBODY |
| 178 | WHO SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING REALLY COOL? |
| 179 | I JUST ALWAYS PICTURED MYSELF DOING SOMETHING... |
| 180 | SOMETHING. |
| 181 | OH, CHANDLER, I KNOW. |
| 182 | I KNOW. |
| 183 | OH, HEY! |
| 184 | YOU CAN SEE YOUR NIPPLES THROUGH THIS SHIRT. |
| 185 | HERE YOU GO. |
| 186 | MAYBE THIS WILL CHEER YOU UP. |
| 187 | I HAD A GRAPE ABOUT FIVE HOURS AGO. |
| 188 | SO I BETTER SPLIT THIS WITH YOU. |
| 189 | IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THAT SMALL. |
| 190 | IT'S A PRE-APPETIZER. |
| 191 | THE FRENCH CALL IT AN AMUSE BOUCHE. |
| 192 | WELL, IT IS "AMOOZING." |
| 193 | ( phone rings ) |
| 194 | HELLO? |
| 195 | OH, HI, WENDY. |
| 196 | YEAH, 8:00. |
| 197 | WHAT DID WE SAY, TEN DOLLARS AN HOUR? |
| 198 | OKAY, GREAT. |
| 199 | I'LL SEE YOU THEN. BYE. |
| 200 | TEN DOLLARS AN HOUR FOR WHAT? |
| 201 | I ASKED A WAITRESS AT WORK TO HELP ME OUT. |
| 202 | WAITRESSING? |
| 203 | UH-OH. |
| 204 | WELL, OF COURSE I THOUGHT OF YOU. |
| 205 | BUT... BUT... |
| 206 | BUT-BUT? |
| 207 | BUT, YOU SEE |
| 208 | THIS NIGHT HAS TO GO JUST PERFECT, YOU KNOW. |
| 209 | WELL, WENDY'S MORE OF A... PROFESSIONAL WAITRESS. |
| 210 | OH. I SEE. |
| 211 | AND I'VE SORT OF BEEN MAINTAINING MY AMATEUR STATUS |
| 212 | SO THAT I CAN WAITRESS IN THE OLYMPICS. |
| 213 | YOU KNOW, I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG |
| 214 | BUT I WAITED TABLES AT INNSBRUCK IN '76. |
| 215 | AMUSE BOUCHE? |
| 216 | ( moans ) |
| 217 | TALK TO ME. |
| 218 | OKAY, UH... |
| 219 | A WEIRD THING HAPPENED TO ME |
| 220 | ON THE TRAIN THIS MORNING. |
| 221 | NO, NO, NO, NO. |
| 222 | TALK DIRTY. |
| 223 | WELL... HERE? |
| 224 | AH... |
| 225 | SAY SOMETHING... HOT. |
| 226 | UH... |
| 227 | UM... |
| 228 | WHAT? |
| 229 | WH... |
| 230 | WHAT? |
| 231 | ( snarls ) |
| 232 | UM... |
| 233 | WHAT? |
| 234 | VULVA. |
| 235 | "VULVA?" |
| 236 | ALL RIGHT. I PANICKED. |
| 237 | ALL RIGHT? |
| 238 | SHE... SHE TOOK ME BY SURPRISE. |
| 239 | BUT IT WASN'T A TOTAL LOSS. |
| 240 | I MEAN, UH, WE ENDED UP CUDDLING. |
| 241 | WHOA, YOU CUDDLED? |
| 242 | HOW MANY TIMES? |
| 243 | SHUT UP. IT WAS NICE. |
| 244 | I DIDN'T... I JUST DON'T THINK |
| 245 | I'M THE DIRTY-TALKING KIND OF GUY, YOU KNOW? |
| 246 | WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? |
| 247 | YOU JUST SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO DO TO HER |
| 248 | AND WHAT YOU WANT HER TO DO TO YOU |
| 249 | AND WHAT YOU THINK OTHER PEOPLE MIGHT |
| 250 | BE DOING TO EACH OTHER. |
| 251 | LOOK. I TELL YOU WHAT. |
| 252 | TRY SOMETHING ON ME. |
| 253 | PLEASE BE KIDDING. |
| 254 | WHY NOT? COME ON. |
| 255 | JUST... JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES |
| 256 | AND TELL ME WHAT YOU'D LIKE |
| 257 | TO BE DOING RIGHT NOW. |
| 258 | OKAY. I'M, UH... I'M IN MY APARTMENT... |
| 259 | YEAH... WHAT ELSE? |
| 260 | THAT'S IT. I'M IN MY APARTMENT. YOU'RE NOT THERE. |
| 261 | WE'RE NOT HAVING THIS CONVERSATION. |
| 262 | I'LL START, OKAY? |
| 263 | JOEY, PLEASE. COME ON. COME ON. |
| 264 | READY? LOOK. |
| 265 | OH, ROSS... |
| 266 | YOU GET ME SO HOT. |
| 267 | I WANT YOUR LIPS ON ME NOW. |
| 268 | HUH? |
| 269 | HMM. |
| 270 | ALL RIGHT. NOW YOU SAY SOMETHING. |
| 271 | I, UH, I REALLY DON'T THINK SO. |
| 272 | YOU LIKE THIS WOMAN, RIGHT? WELL, YEAH. |
| 273 | YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, RIGHT? SURE. |
| 274 | IF YOU CAN'T TALK DIRTY TO ME |
| 275 | HOW YOU GOING TO TALK DIRTY TO HER? |
| 276 | NOW, TELL ME YOU WANT TO CARESS MY BUTT. |
| 277 | OKAY. TURN AROUND. |
| 278 | I JUST DON'T WANT YOU STARING AT ME WHEN I'M DOING THIS. |
| 279 | ALL RIGHT. I'M NOT LOOKING. |
| 280 | OKAY. OKAY. |
| 281 | ( clearing throat ) |
| 282 | I WANT... |
| 283 | OKAY, I WANT TO... FEEL YOUR... |
| 284 | HOT, SOFT SKIN WITH MY LIPS. |
| 285 | THERE YOU GO. |
| 286 | KEEP GOING. KEEP GOING. |
| 287 | I, UH... |
| 288 | I WANT TO TAKE MY TONGUE, AND... |
| 289 | AND, AND... |
| 290 | SAY IT. |
| 291 | SAY IT! |
| 292 | RUN IT ALL OVER YOUR BODY UNTIL YOU'RE... |
| 293 | ...TREMBLING WITH... WITH... |
| 294 | WITH..? |
| 295 | FUNNY STORY. |
| 296 | YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS. |
| 297 | IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. |
| 298 | I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU TWO KIDS TO GET TOGETHER. |
| 299 | WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING |
| 300 | THAT GUY FROM YOUR OLD JOB CALLED AGAIN. |
| 301 | AGAIN? |
| 302 | AND AGAIN AND AGAIN |
| 303 | AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN. |
| 304 | ( phone ringing ) |
| 305 | HELLO. |
| 306 | AND AGAIN. |
| 307 | HI, MR. KOSTELIC. |
| 308 | HOW'S LIFE ON THE 15th FLOOR? |
| 309 | YEAH. I MISS YOU TOO. |
| 310 | IT'S A LOT LESS SATISFYING |
| 311 | TO STEAL PENS FROM YOUR OWN HOME, YOU KNOW? |
| 312 | WELL, THAT'S VERY GENEROUS. |
| 313 | THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE MONEY. |
| 314 | I NEED SOMETHING MORE THAN A JOB, SOMETHING... |
| 315 | AND THAT'S ON TOP OF THE YEAR-END BONUS STRUCTURE? |
| 316 | DREAM. DREAM. |
| 317 | LOOK, AL. AL... |
| 318 | I'M NOT PLAYING HARDBALL HERE. |
| 319 | THIS IS NOT A NEGOTIATION. |
| 320 | THIS IS A REJECTION. |
| 321 | NO... NO. STOP SAYING... STOP SAYING NUMBERS. |
| 322 | I'M TELLING YOU. YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG GUY. |
| 323 | YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG GUY! |
| 324 | I'LL SEE YOU MONDAY! |
| 325 | NYAH. |
| 326 | HUH? |
| 327 | OH, WOW! |
| 328 | IT'S HUGE! |
| 329 | THIS IS SO MUCH BIGGER THAN THE CUBICLE. |
| 330 | THIS IS A CUBE. |
| 331 | LOOK AT THIS. |
| 332 | ( gasping ) |
| 333 | YOU HAVE A WINDOW! |
| 334 | YES, INDEEDY. |
| 335 | WITH A BEAUTIFUL VIEW OF... |
| 336 | OH, LOOK. THAT GUY'S PEEING. |
| 337 | OKAY. THAT'S ENOUGH OF THE VIEW. |
| 338 | CHECK THIS OUT. LOOK AT THIS. |
| 339 | OKAY. SIT DOWN HERE. |
| 340 | OKAY. |
| 341 | THIS IS GREAT. THIS IS GREAT. |
| 342 | NOW? |
| 343 | HELEN, COULD YOU COME IN HERE FOR A MOMENT? |
| 344 | THANK YOU, HELEN. THAT'LL BE ALL. |
| 345 | LAST TIME I DO THAT, I PROMISE. |
| 346 | WENDY, WE HAD A DEAL. |
| 347 | YEAH. YOU PROMISED. |
| 348 | WENDY... WENDY... |
| 349 | WENDY! |
| 350 | ( groans ) |
| 351 | WHO WAS THAT? |
| 352 | WENDY BAILED. |
| 353 | I... I HAVE NO WAITRESS. |
| 354 | OH, THAT'S TOO BAD. |
| 355 | BYE-BYE. |
| 356 | TEN DOLLARS AN HOUR. NO. |
| 357 | $12 AN HOUR. |
| 358 | MON, I WISH I COULD, |
| 359 | BUT I'VE MADE PLANS TO WALK AROUND. |
| 360 | WHEN YOU RAN OUT ON YOUR WEDDING |
| 361 | I WAS THERE FOR YOU. |
| 362 | I PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD |
| 363 | AND IF THAT MEANS NOTHING TO YOU... |
| 364 | ...$20 AN HOUR. |
| 365 | DONE. |
| 366 | WELL, HELLO. WELCOME TO MONICA'S. |
| 367 | MAY I TAKE YOUR COAT? |
| 368 | HI, STEVE. |
| 369 | HELLO, MONICA. |
| 370 | HELLO, GREETER-GIRL. |
| 371 | THIS IS RACHEL. |
| 372 | YEAH. OKAY. |
| 373 | MMM. MMM... |
| 374 | EVERYTHING SMELLS SO DELICIOUS. |
| 375 | I CAN'T REMEMBER A TIME I SMELLED SUCH A DELICIOUS |
| 376 | COMBINATION OF, OF... |
| 377 | OKAY. SMELLS. |
| 378 | WELL, IT'S A LOVELY APARTMENT. |
| 379 | OH, THANK YOU. |
| 380 | WOULD YOU LIKE A TOUR? |
| 381 | I WAS JUST BEING POLITE, BUT ALL RIGHT. |
| 382 | WHAT..? WHAT'S UP? |
| 383 | I... IN THE CAB, ON THE WAY OVER |
| 384 | STEVE BLAZED UP A DOOBIE. |
| 385 | WHAT?! |
| 386 | HE SMOKED A JOINT. |
| 387 | YOU KNOW, LIT A BONE-- WEED, HEMP, GANJA... |
| 388 | OKAY, OKAY. OKAY, |
| 389 | I'M WITH YOU, CHEECH. |
| 390 | OKAY. |
| 391 | IS IT DRY IN HERE? |
| 392 | LET ME... LET ME GET YOU SOME WINE. |
| 393 | I THINK WE'RE READY FOR OUR FIRST COURSE. |
| 394 | OKAY, UM, |
| 395 | THESE ARE ROCK SHRIMP RAVIOLI |
| 396 | AND CILANTRO PONZU SAUCE |
| 397 | WITH JUST A TOUCH OF MINCED... |
| 398 | GINGER. |
| 399 | WELL, SMACK MY ASS AND CALL ME JUDY. |
| 400 | THESE ARE FANTASTIC. |
| 401 | OH, GOSH, I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE THEM. |
| 402 | LIKE THEM? I COULD EAT 100 OF THEM. |
| 403 | OH. WELL, THAT'S ALL THERE IS OF THESE |
| 404 | BUT IN ABOUT EIGHT AND A HALF MINUTES |
| 405 | WE'LL BE SERVING SOME DELICIOUS ONION TARTLETS. |
| 406 | TARTLETS? MM, UH-HUH. |
| 407 | TARTLETS? |
| 408 | TARTLETS? |
| 409 | THE WORD HAS LOST ALL MEANING. |
| 410 | EXCUSE ME. |
| 411 | CAN I HELP YOU WITH ANYTHING? |
| 412 | YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR. |
| 413 | ( sucking ) |
| 414 | OH, COOL! TACO SHELLS! |
| 415 | THESE ARE LIKE A LITTLE CORN ENVELOPE, YOU KNOW? |
| 416 | YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 417 | YOU DON'T WANT TO SPOIL YOUR APPETITE. |
| 418 | HEY, SUGAR Os! |
| 419 | YOU KNOW, IF YOU JUST WAIT ANOTHER SIX AND A HALF MINUTES... |
| 420 | OH! MACARONI AND CHEESE! |
| 421 | WE GOT TO MAKE THIS. |
| 422 | NO. WE DON'T. |
| 423 | WE... OH, OKAY. |
| 424 | HEY... OOP! SORRY. |
| 425 | WHY DON'T YOU JUST HAVE A SEAT HERE. |
| 426 | OKAY... |
| 427 | OKAY. |
| 428 | GIVE ME THE GUMMI BEARS. |
| 429 | I... NO. |
| 430 | GIVE THEM TO ME. |
| 431 | I WILL SHARE. |
| 432 | NO. GIVE ME THE BEARS. |
| 433 | THEN YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY. GIVE THEM TO ME. |
| 434 | OH! OH! |
| 435 | BEARS OVERBOARD! |
| 436 | THEY'RE DROWNING. |
| 437 | HEY, FELLOWS! |
| 438 | GRAB ON TO A SUGAR O. SAVE YOURSELVES. |
| 439 | ( imitating Gummi Bears ): HELP! HELP! WE'RE DROWNING! |
| 440 | HELP! HELP! |
| 441 | THAT'S IT! DINNER IS OVER. |
| 442 | WHAT? "WHAT?" |
| 443 | WHY? "WHY?" |
| 444 | I'VE WAITED SEVEN YEARS FOR THIS |
| 445 | AND YOU CAN'T WAIT FOUR AND A HALF MINUTES |
| 446 | FOR A STUPID ONION TARTLET? |
| 447 | ( timer rings ) |
| 448 | HEY! |
| 449 | WHAT A TOOL. |
| 450 | YOU DON'T WANT TO WORK FOR A GUY LIKE THAT. |
| 451 | I KNOW. I JUST THOUGHT THAT THIS WAS, YOU KNOW, IT. |
| 452 | YOU'LL GET THERE. YOU'RE AN AMAZING CHEF. |
| 453 | YEAH. YOU KNOW ALL THOSE YUMMY NOISES? |
| 454 | I WASN'T FAKING. |
| 455 | ( clearing throat ) |
| 456 | SO, UH, HOW DID IT GO WITH CELIA? |
| 457 | OH, UH, I WAS UNBELIEVABLE. |
| 458 | ALL RIGHT, ROSS! |
| 459 | I WAS THE JAMES MICHENER OF DIRTY TALK. |
| 460 | IT WAS THE MOST ELABORATE FILTH YOU HAVE EVER HEARD. |
| 461 | I MEAN, THERE WERE CHARACTERS, PLOT LINES |
| 462 | THEMES, A MOTIF... |
| 463 | AT ONE POINT THERE WERE VILLAGERS. |
| 464 | OH, HO-HO, AND, UH, HUH..? |
| 465 | BY THE TIME WE FINISHED WITH ALL THE DIRTY TALK |
| 466 | IT WAS KIND OF LATE AND WE WERE BOTH EXHAUSTED, SO, UM... |
| 467 | YOU CUDDLED. WHICH WAS NICE. |
| 468 | YOU GUYS WANT TO TRY TO CATCH A LATE MOVIE OR SOMETHING? |
| 469 | SHOULDN'T WE WAIT FOR CHANDLER? |
| 470 | WHOA. WHERE THE HELL IS HE? |
| 471 | YES, FRAN, I KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS |
| 472 | BUT I'M LOOKING AT THE WEENUS, AND I'M NOT HAPPY. |
| 473 | LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. |
| 474 | YOU WILL CARE ABOUT IT BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT IT. |
| 475 | YOU GOT IT? GOOD! |
| 476 | WHOA... |
| 477 | HOW'S THIS? |
| 478 | ( yells ) |
| 479 | SORRY. HOW 'BOUT OVER HERE? |
| 480 | ( groans ) SEE? THAT MEANS IT'S WORKING. |
| 481 | DOES THIS HURT? |
| 482 | NO. |
| 483 | HOW 'BOUT THIS? |
| 484 | ( screaming ) |
| 485 | THERE YOU GO. |
| 486 | ( grunting ) |
| 487 | AH, OOH, AH... OH, I'M GOING TO THROW UP. |
| 488 | |
| 1 | THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. |
| 2 | IT'S BEEN A HALF AN HOUR. |
| 3 | IF THIS WAS A CARTOON |
| 4 | YOU'D BE LOOKING LIKE A HAM RIGHT ABOUT NOW. |
| 5 | THERE'S THE WAITRESS. EXCUSE ME, MISS? |
| 6 | HELLO? MISS? |
| 7 | IT'S PHOEBE. |
| 8 | HI. |
| 9 | HI. |
| 10 | OKAY, WILL THAT BE ALL? |
| 11 | WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? |
| 12 | I WAS OVER THERE, YOU SAID "EXCUSE ME. HELLO? MISS." |
| 13 | SO NOW I'M HERE. |
| 14 | NO, NO. HOW COME YOU'RE WORKING HERE? |
| 15 | RIGHT. 'CAUSE IT'S CLOSE TO WHERE I LIVE |
| 16 | AND THE APRONS ARE REALLY CUTE. |
| 17 | CAN WE START OVER? |
| 18 | YEAH, OKAY, GREAT. |
| 19 | I'LL BE OVER HERE... NO! NO! NO! NO! |
| 20 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 21 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 22 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 23 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 24 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 25 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 26 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 27 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 28 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 29 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 30 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 31 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 32 | I DON'T KNOW WHETHER HE'S TESTING ME OR JUST ACTING OUT |
| 33 | BUT MY MONKEY IS OUT OF CONTROL. |
| 34 | HE KEEPS ERASING |
| 35 | THE MESSAGES ON MY MACHINE. |
| 36 | SUPPOSEDLY BY ACCIDENT. |
| 37 | OH, YEAH. I'VE DONE THAT. |
| 38 | AND THEN, LIKE, THREE DAYS IN A ROW |
| 39 | HE GOT TO THE NEWSPAPER BEFORE I DID |
| 40 | AND PEED ALL OVER THE CROSSWORD. |
| 41 | I'VE NEVER DONE THAT. |
| 42 | NOW, LOOK AT HER AND TELL ME |
| 43 | SHE DOESN'T LOOK EXACTLY LIKE HER SISTER. |
| 44 | I'M SAYING I SEE A DIFFERENCE. |
| 45 | THEY'RE TWINS. |
| 46 | I DON'T CARE. PHOEBE'S PHOEBE. |
| 47 | URSULA'S... HOT. |
| 48 | YOU KNOW THAT THING |
| 49 | WHEN YOU AND I TALK TO EACH OTHER ABOUT THINGS? |
| 50 | YEAH. LET'S NOT DO THAT ANYMORE. |
| 51 | HI, GUYS. |
| 52 | HEY, PHEEBS, GUESS WHO WE SAW TODAY. |
| 53 | OOH, FUN! OKAY. |
| 54 | LIAM NEESON? |
| 55 | NO. |
| 56 | MORLEY SAFER? |
| 57 | THE WOMAN WHO CUTS MY HAIR? |
| 58 | LOOK, THIS COULD BE A REALLY LONG GAME. |
| 59 | YOUR SISTER URSULA. |
| 60 | OH. REALLY? |
| 61 | SHE WORKS OVER AT THAT PLACE... |
| 62 | RIFF'S. YEAH, I KNOW. |
| 63 | YOU DO? |
| 64 | SHE SAID YOU HAVEN'T TALKED IN YEARS. |
| 65 | MM-HMM. YEAH. |
| 66 | SO, UM, IS SHE FAT? |
| 67 | NOT FROM WHERE I WAS STANDING. |
| 68 | WHERE WERE YOU STANDING? |
| 69 | UH, PHEEBS, SO YOU GUYS JUST DON'T GET ALONG? |
| 70 | IT'S MOSTLY JUST DUMB SISTER STUFF-- |
| 71 | LIKE EVERYONE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF HER AS THE PRETTY ONE, YOU KNOW? |
| 72 | OH! SHE WAS |
| 73 | THE FIRST ONE TO START WALKING |
| 74 | EVEN THOUGH I DID IT LATER THAT SAME DAY. |
| 75 | BUT TO MY PARENTS |
| 76 | BY THEN IT WAS LIKE, "RIGHT. WHAT ELSE IS NEW?" |
| 77 | PHEEBS, I'M SORRY. I'VE GOT TO GO. |
| 78 | I'VE GOT LAMAZE CLASS. |
| 79 | OH, AND I'VE GOT EARTH SCIENCE |
| 80 | BUT I'LL CATCH YOU IN GYM? |
| 81 | SO IS THIS JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND CAROL? |
| 82 | NO. SUSAN'S GOING TO BE THERE TOO. |
| 83 | WE'VE GOT DADS, WE'VE GOT LESBIANS-- |
| 84 | THE WHOLE PARENTING TEAM. |
| 85 | ISN'T THAT GOING TO BE WEIRD? |
| 86 | IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN AT FIRST |
| 87 | BUT BY NOW, I'M COMFORTABLE WITH THE WHOLE SITUATION. |
| 88 | ROSS, THAT'S MY JACKET. |
| 89 | I KNOW. |
| 90 | HI. WE'RE THE ROSTINS. |
| 91 | I'M J.C. |
| 92 | AND HE'S MICHAEL. |
| 93 | AND WE'RE HAVING A BOY... AND A GIRL. |
| 94 | GOOD FOR YOU. |
| 95 | ALL RIGHTY. NEXT? |
| 96 | HI. UM, I'M, UH... |
| 97 | I'M ROSS GELLER |
| 98 | AND THAT'S... THAT'S MY BOY IN THERE. |
| 99 | AND THIS IS CAROL WILLICK |
| 100 | AND THIS... IS SUSAN BUNCH. |
| 101 | SUSAN IS, UM... CAROL'S... |
| 102 | ( mumbling ) |
| 103 | WHO'S NEXT? |
| 104 | I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T GET... SUSAN IS..? |
| 105 | SUSAN'S CAROL'S... CAROL'S... FRIEND. |
| 106 | LIFE PARTNER. |
| 107 | LIKE BUDDIES. |
| 108 | LIKE LOVERS. |
| 109 | YOU KNOW HOW CLOSE WOMEN CAN GET. |
| 110 | SUSAN AND I LIVE TOGETHER. |
| 111 | ALTHOUGH I WAS MARRIED TO HER. |
| 112 | CAROL, NOT ME. |
| 113 | IT'S A LITTLE COMPLICATED. |
| 114 | A LITTLE. |
| 115 | BUT WE'RE FINE. |
| 116 | ABSOLUTELY. |
| 117 | SO TWINS? |
| 118 | THAT'S, LIKE, TWO BIRTHS. |
| 119 | OUCH! |
| 120 | ( buzzing ) |
| 121 | AND... ( buzzing ) TO YOU TOO, HELEN. |
| 122 | Nina Bookbinder is here to see you. |
| 123 | OH, OKAY. SEND HER IN. |
| 124 | HI. |
| 125 | YOU WANTED TO SEE ME? |
| 126 | UH, YES. |
| 127 | I WAS GOING OVER YOUR DATA AND A LITTLE THING-- |
| 128 | YOU'VE BEEN POSTDATING YOUR FRIDAY NUMBERS. |
| 129 | WHICH IS BAD, BECAUSE..? |
| 130 | WELL, IT THROWS MY WENUS OUT OF WHACK. |
| 131 | EXCUSE ME? |
| 132 | WENUS-- WEEKLY ESTIMATED... |
| 133 | OH! NET USAGE STATISTICS. |
| 134 | RIGHT. |
| 135 | IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. |
| 136 | I WOULDN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING TO HURT YOUR... WENUS. |
| 137 | ( stammers ) |
| 138 | IT'S NOT JUST THAT SHE'S CUTE, OKAY? |
| 139 | IT'S JUST THAT... SHE'S REALLY, REALLY CUTE. |
| 140 | IT DOESN'T MATTER. |
| 141 | YOU DON'T DIP YOUR PEN IN THE COMPANY INK. |
| 142 | ROSS, YOUR LITTLE CREATURE'S GOT THE REMOTE AGAIN. |
| 143 | MARCEL, MARCEL, GIVE ROSSY THE REMOTE. |
| 144 | MARCEL... |
| 145 | MARCEL, YOU GIVE ROSSY THE REMOTE RIGHT NOW. |
| 146 | ( audio in English ) |
| 147 | ( audio in Spanish ) |
| 148 | GREAT. |
| 149 | RELAX. I'LL FIX IT. |
| 150 | ( audio in Spanish ) |
| 151 | OH, COOL. |
| 152 | "URKEL" IN SPANISH... IS "URKEL." |
| 153 | HOW DID HE DO THIS? |
| 154 | IS LEAVING THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS UP |
| 155 | PART OF YOUR PLAN TO KEEP US MERRY |
| 156 | ALL YEAR LONG? |
| 157 | NO. SOMEONE WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE THEM DOWN |
| 158 | AROUND NEW YEAR'S, BUT SOMEONE FORGOT. |
| 159 | WELL, SOMEONE WAS SUPPOSED TO WRITE |
| 160 | "RACHE, TAKE DOWN THE LIGHTS" |
| 161 | AND PUT IT ON THE REFRIG... ERATOR. |
| 162 | HOW LONG HAS THAT BEEN THERE? |
| 163 | WHERE YOU BEEN? |
| 164 | I WENT BACK TO RIFF'S. |
| 165 | I THINK URSULA LIKES ME. |
| 166 | ALL I ORDERED WAS COFFEE. |
| 167 | SHE BROUGHT ME A TUNA MELT AND FOUR PLATES OF CURLY FRIES. |
| 168 | SCORE. |
| 169 | SHE IS SO HOT! |
| 170 | BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING JOEY-LIKE |
| 171 | YOU MIGHT WANT TO RUN IT BY, UH... |
| 172 | YEAH? |
| 173 | YEAH. |
| 174 | YEAH. |
| 175 | PHEEBS, DO YOU THINK IT WOULD BE OKAY |
| 176 | IF I ASKED OUT YOUR SISTER? |
| 177 | WHY? WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT? WHY? |
| 178 | WELL, SO THAT IF WE WENT OUT ON A DATE |
| 179 | SHE'D BE THERE. |
| 180 | WELL, I MEAN, I'M NOT MY SISTER'S |
| 181 | YOU KNOW, WHATEVER |
| 182 | AND, UH... I MEAN... |
| 183 | IT'S TRUE WE WERE ONE EGG ONCE, BUT, UH... |
| 184 | WE'VE... WE'VE GROWN APART, SO, UM... |
| 185 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 186 | WHY NOT? |
| 187 | COOL. THANKS. |
| 188 | ARE YOU OKAY? |
| 189 | YEAH. I'M FINE. |
| 190 | YOU WANT TO WATCH LAVERNE Y SHIRLEY? |
| 191 | Cinco, seis, siete, ocho! Schlemiel! Schlamazel! |
| 192 | ( Laverne and Shirley theme playing ) |
| 193 | ( doll squeaks ) |
| 194 | SORRY. |
| 195 | HI. |
| 196 | SORRY I'M LATE. |
| 197 | UH, WHERE'S... WHERE'S CAROL? |
| 198 | STUCK AT SCHOOL. |
| 199 | SOME PARENT-TEACHER THING. |
| 200 | YOU CAN GO. I'LL GET THE INFORMATION. |
| 201 | NO... |
| 202 | NO, I THINK I SHOULD STAY. |
| 203 | I THINK WE SHOULD BOTH KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. |
| 204 | OH, GOOD. THIS WILL BE FUN. |
| 205 | WE'RE GOING TO START WITH SOME BASIC THIRD-STAGE BREATHING EXERCISES |
| 206 | SO, MOMMIES, WHY DON'T YOU GET ON YOUR BACK |
| 207 | AND, COACHES, YOU SHOULD BE SUPPORTING MOMMY'S HEAD. |
| 208 | WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? |
| 209 | I AM SUPPOSED TO BE THE MOMMY? |
| 210 | OKAY, I'M GOING TO PLAY MY SPERM CARD ONE MORE TIME. |
| 211 | I DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULD MISS OUT ON THE COACHING TRAINING |
| 212 | JUST BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN. |
| 213 | SO WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE TO DO? |
| 214 | I WILL FLIP YOU FOR IT. |
| 215 | NO, NO. HEADS. |
| 216 | ON YOUR BACK, MOM. |
| 217 | ALL RIGHT, MOMMIES. |
| 218 | TAKE A NICE, DEEP CLEANSING BREATH. |
| 219 | ( breathes deeply ) |
| 220 | GOOD. |
| 221 | NOW IMAGINE YOUR VAGINA IS OPENING |
| 222 | LIKE A FLOWER. |
| 223 | ( knock at door ) |
| 224 | MR. D., HOW'S IT GOING, SIR? |
| 225 | UH, IT'S BEEN BETTER. |
| 226 | THE ANNUAL NET USAGE STATISTICS ARE IN. |
| 227 | AND? |
| 228 | IT'S PRETTY UGLY. |
| 229 | WE HAVEN'T SEEN AN ANUS THIS BAD SINCE THE '70s. |
| 230 | WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? |
| 231 | WE'LL BE LAYING OFF PEOPLE |
| 232 | IN EVERY DEPARTMENT. |
| 233 | I KNOW I CAME IN LATE LAST WEEK |
| 234 | BUT I SLEPT FUNNY AND MY HAIR WAS... |
| 235 | NOT YOU. |
| 236 | RELAX. |
| 237 | EVER HAVE TO FIRE ANYONE? |
| 238 | NINA? |
| 239 | NINA... |
| 240 | NINA... |
| 241 | ( voice breaking ): NINA... |
| 242 | ARE YOU OKAY? |
| 243 | YES. YES, I AM. |
| 244 | LISTEN, THE REASON I CALLED YOU IN HERE TODAY WAS, UH... |
| 245 | PLEASE DON'T HATE ME. |
| 246 | WHAT? |
| 247 | WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE DINNER SOMETIME? |
| 248 | SO, PHEEBS, WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? |
| 249 | WELL, WHAT I REALLY WANT IS FOR MY MOM TO BE ALIVE |
| 250 | AND ENJOY IT WITH ME, BUT... |
| 251 | OKAY... |
| 252 | LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY: ANYTHING FROM CRABTREE & EVELYN? |
| 253 | OOH! BATH SALTS WOULD BE NICE. |
| 254 | OH, OKAY. GOOD. |
| 255 | WHAT IS THIS PLACE? |
| 256 | YOU'RE COLD, I HAVE TO PEE |
| 257 | AND THERE'S A CUP OF COFFEE ON THE WINDOW. |
| 258 | HOW BAD COULD IT BE? |
| 259 | I THINK WE HAVE |
| 260 | AN ANSWER. |
| 261 | WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE? |
| 262 | THIS COULD BE GOD'S WAY OF TELLING US TO EAT AT HOME. |
| 263 | YOU THINK SHE GOT FIRED AT RIFF'S? |
| 264 | NO. WE WERE THERE LAST NIGHT. |
| 265 | SHE KEPT... BRINGING SWORDFISH. |
| 266 | ARE YOU GOING TO GO TO..? |
| 267 | I'LL WAIT UNTIL AFTER WE ORDER. |
| 268 | IT'S HER, RIGHT? |
| 269 | IT LOOKS LIKE... HER. |
| 270 | UM... EXCUSE ME? |
| 271 | YEAH? |
| 272 | HI! IT'S US. |
| 273 | RIGHT. AND IT'S ME. |
| 274 | SO YOU'RE HERE TOO. |
| 275 | AS MUCH AS YOU ARE. |
| 276 | YOUR TURN? |
| 277 | UH... WE KNOW |
| 278 | WHAT WE WANT. |
| 279 | OH, THAT'S GOOD. |
| 280 | ALL WE WANT IS TWO CAFFE LATTES. |
| 281 | AND SOME BISCOTTI COOKIES. |
| 282 | GOOD CHOICE. |
| 283 | IT'S DEFINITELY HER. |
| 284 | YEAH. |
| 285 | Woman: Buenos noches, John-Boy. |
| 286 | Man: Buenos noches, Jim-Bob. |
| 287 | YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOLD THAT GIRL |
| 288 | SHE DOESN'T HAVE A JOB? |
| 289 | WELL, YOU STILL HAVEN'T TAKEN DOWN |
| 290 | THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS. |
| 291 | CONGRATULATIONS. |
| 292 | I THINK YOU'VE FOUND THE WORLD'S THINNEST ARGUMENT. |
| 293 | I'M JUST TRYING TO FIND THE RIGHT MOMENT. |
| 294 | THAT SHOULDN'T BE SO HARD NOW THAT YOU'RE DATING. |
| 295 | SWEETHEART, YOU'RE FIRED, BUT HOW ABOUT A QUICKIE |
| 296 | BEFORE I GO TO WORK? |
| 297 | HEY. |
| 298 | HEY. HEY. |
| 299 | ( knock at door ) |
| 300 | ONCE YOU'RE INSIDE |
| 301 | YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOCK ANYMORE. |
| 302 | I'LL GET IT. |
| 303 | OH. HI, MR. HECKLES. |
| 304 | YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN. |
| 305 | DOING WHAT? |
| 306 | WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING. |
| 307 | WE'RE JUST SITTING AROUND TALKING. QUIETLY. |
| 308 | I CAN HEAR YOU THROUGH THE CEILING. |
| 309 | MY CATS CAN'T SLEEP. |
| 310 | YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE CATS. |
| 311 | I COULD HAVE CATS. |
| 312 | GOOD-BYE, MR. HECKLES. |
| 313 | WE'LL TRY TO KEEP IT DOWN. |
| 314 | PHOEBE, COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR? |
| 315 | WOULD YOU TRY THIS ON? |
| 316 | I WANT TO MAKE SURE IT FITS. |
| 317 | OH, MY FIRST BIRTHDAY PRESENT. |
| 318 | OH, THIS IS REALLY... |
| 319 | OH, NO, NO, NO. |
| 320 | IT'S FOR URSULA. |
| 321 | I JUST FIGURED SIZE-WISE... |
| 322 | OH. SURE. YEAH. |
| 323 | OKAY. FITS. |
| 324 | ARE YOU SEEING HER AGAIN? |
| 325 | YEP. ICE CAPADES. |
| 326 | THIS IS SERIOUS. |
| 327 | I'VE NEVER KNOWN YOU TO PAY MONEY |
| 328 | FOR ANY KIND OF CAPADE. |
| 329 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 330 | I LIKE HER, YOU KNOW? |
| 331 | SHE'S DIFFERENT. |
| 332 | THERE'S, UH... |
| 333 | SOMETHING ABOUT HER... |
| 334 | THAT YOU LIKE. |
| 335 | WE GET IT. |
| 336 | YOU LIKE HER-- GREAT. |
| 337 | PHOEBE, I ASKED YOU |
| 338 | AND YOU SAID IT WAS OKAY. |
| 339 | MAYBE NOW IT'S NOT OKAY. |
| 340 | OKAY. WELL, MAYBE NOW I'M NOT OKAY WITH IT NOT BEING OKAY. |
| 341 | OKAY. |
| 342 | KNIT, GOOD WOMAN, KNIT! KNIT! |
| 343 | ( knock at door ) |
| 344 | AND THAT'S THE CHRYSLER BUILDING RIGHT THERE. |
| 345 | NINA. |
| 346 | MR. DOUGLAS. |
| 347 | COOL TIE. |
| 348 | SHE'S STILL HERE. |
| 349 | YES. YES, SHE IS. |
| 350 | DIDN'T I MEMO YOU ON THIS? |
| 351 | AFTER I LET HER GO |
| 352 | UH, I GOT A CALL FROM HER PSYCHIATRIST |
| 353 | DR. FLANE... DR. FLENNEN, DR. FLEN |
| 354 | AND, UH... |
| 355 | HE INFORMED ME THAT, UH, SHE TOOK THE NEWS RATHER BADLY. |
| 356 | IN FACT, HE MENTIONED THE WORD "FRENZY." |
| 357 | Y-YOU'RE KIDDING. |
| 358 | SHE SEEMED SO... |
| 359 | OH, NO, NO. NINA? |
| 360 | SHE IS WHOO-WHOO-WHOO- WHOO-WHOO-WHOO! |
| 361 | IN FACT, IF YOU ASKED HER RIGHT NOW |
| 362 | SHE WOULD HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF BEING FIRED AT ALL. |
| 363 | THAT'S... UNBELIEVABLE. |
| 364 | AND YET BELIEVABLE. |
| 365 | SO I'VE DECIDED NOT TO FIRE HER AGAIN |
| 366 | UNTIL I CAN BE ASSURED THAT SHE WILL BE NO THREAT |
| 367 | TO HERSELF OR OTHERS. |
| 368 | I SEE. HMM. |
| 369 | I GUESS YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW |
| 370 | WHAT'S GOING ON INSIDE A PERSON'S HEAD. |
| 371 | WELL, I GUESS THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT PSYCHOLOGY, SIR. |
| 372 | ( baby crying ) |
| 373 | Man: For this, after all, is the miracle of birth. |
| 374 | LIGHTS, PLEASE. |
| 375 | AND THAT'S HAVING A BABY. |
| 376 | NEXT WEEK IS OUR FINAL CLASS. |
| 377 | SUSAN, GO DEEP. |
| 378 | Carol: IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. |
| 379 | IT'S JUST, JUST IMPOSSIBLE. |
| 380 | WHAT IS, HONEY? |
| 381 | WHAT THAT WOMAN... DID. |
| 382 | I AM NOT DOING THAT. |
| 383 | IT'S JUST GOING TO HAVE TO STAY IN, THAT'S ALL. |
| 384 | EVERYTHING'LL BE THE SAME. |
| 385 | IT'LL JUST STAY IN. |
| 386 | SHH. EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT. |
| 387 | OH, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? |
| 388 | NO ONE'S GOING UP TO YOU AND SAYING |
| 389 | "HI. IS THAT YOUR NOSTRIL? |
| 390 | MIND IF WE PUSH THIS POT ROAST THROUGH IT?!" |
| 391 | CAROL, CAROL, SWEETIE. |
| 392 | CLEANSING BREATH. |
| 393 | I KNOW IT'S FRIGHTENING |
| 394 | BUT, BIG PICTURE-- THE BIRTH PART IS JUST ONE DAY |
| 395 | AND WHEN IT'S OVER, WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE PARENTS |
| 396 | FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES. |
| 397 | I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT. |
| 398 | RIGHT? ROSS? |
| 399 | ROSS? |
| 400 | I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER. |
| 401 | THIS IS JUST OCCURRING TO YOU? |
| 402 | I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS HAVING A BABY. |
| 403 | I JUST NEVER REALIZED THE BABY WAS HAVING ME. |
| 404 | OH, YOU'RE GOING TO BE GREAT. |
| 405 | HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? |
| 406 | I CAN'T EVEN GET MARCEL TO STOP EATING THE BATH MAT. |
| 407 | HOW AM I GOING TO RAISE A KID? |
| 408 | SOME SCIENTISTS ARE NOW SAYING |
| 409 | THAT MONKEYS AND BABIES ARE ACTUALLY DIFFERENT. |
| 410 | Phoebe: WHERE ARE YOU GOING? |
| 411 | OUT. |
| 412 | WITH? |
| 413 | YES. |
| 414 | CAN I JUST ASK YOU ONE QUESTION? |
| 415 | HAVE YOU TWO, YOU KNOW... LIKE, YOU KNOW? |
| 416 | YOU KNOW. |
| 417 | YET? |
| 418 | NOT THAT IT'S ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS |
| 419 | BUT NO, WE HAVEN'T. OKAY? |
| 420 | YOU MEANT SEX, RIGHT? |
| 421 | DO YOU HAVE A SEC? |
| 422 | UH, SURE, NINA. WHAT'S UP? |
| 423 | FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS, PEOPLE HAVE BEEN AVOIDING ME |
| 424 | AND GIVING ME REALLY STRANGE LOOKS. |
| 425 | OH, WELL, UH, MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE, UH... |
| 426 | JEALOUS OF US. |
| 427 | MAYBE. BUT THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN |
| 428 | WHY THEY KEEP TAKING MY SCISSORS. |
| 429 | UH, WELL, MAYBE THAT'S, UH |
| 430 | BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING A BIG RAISE. |
| 431 | I AM? |
| 432 | SURE. WHY NOT? |
| 433 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 434 | YOU'RE AMAZING! |
| 435 | OH, YOU DON'T KNOW. |
| 436 | HELEN, MAKE SURE WE PUT THROUGH THE PAPER WORK |
| 437 | ON MS. BOOKBINDER'S RAISE. |
| 438 | You still want me to send her psychological profile |
| 439 | to Personnel? |
| 440 | WHAT? |
| 441 | HELEN DRINKS. |
| 442 | WILL YOU MARRY ME? |
| 443 | I ENDED UP TELLING HER EVERYTHING. |
| 444 | HOW'D SHE TAKE IT? |
| 445 | PRETTY WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE STAPLER THING. |
| 446 | A LITTLE TIP: IF YOU'RE EVER IN A SIMILAR SITUATION |
| 447 | NEVER EVER LEAVE YOUR HAND ON THE DESK. |
| 448 | OKAY, I THINK I GET HOW TO DO THIS. |
| 449 | ( audio in Spanish ) |
| 450 | ALL RIGHT, SO CAN WE TURN THIS OFF |
| 451 | AND MAKE THEM GO AWAY? |
| 452 | I CAN'T WATCH THIS. |
| 453 | OKAY, PHEEBS, THEY'RE GONE. |
| 454 | ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? |
| 455 | YEAH. IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW |
| 456 | IT'S THIS WHOLE STUPID URSULA THING. |
| 457 | CAN I ASK? SO HE'S GOING OUT WITH HER. |
| 458 | IS IT REALLY SO TERRIBLE? |
| 459 | UM, YEAH. |
| 460 | I'M NOT SAYING SHE'S, LIKE, EVIL, OR ANYTHING. |
| 461 | SHE JUST, YOU KNOW... SHE'S ALWAYS BREAKING MY STUFF. |
| 462 | WHEN I WAS EIGHT, AND I WOULDN'T LET HER |
| 463 | HAVE MY JUDY JETSON THERMOS, SO SHE THREW IT |
| 464 | UNDER THE BUS. |
| 465 | OH, AND THEN THERE'S RANDY BROWN |
| 466 | WHO WAS LIKE... HAVE YOU EVER HAD A BOYFRIEND |
| 467 | WHO WAS, LIKE, YOUR BEST FRIEND? |
| 468 | NO. NO. |
| 469 | WELL, BUT THAT'S WHAT HE WAS FOR ME |
| 470 | AND SHE, YOU KNOW, KIND OF STOLE HIM AWAY |
| 471 | AND THEN BROKE HIS HEART |
| 472 | AND THEN HE WOULDN'T EVEN TALK TO ME ANYMORE |
| 473 | 'CAUSE HE SAID HE DIDN'T WANT TO BE AROUND ANYTHING |
| 474 | THAT LOOKED LIKE EITHER ONE OF US. |
| 475 | OH, PHEEBS... |
| 476 | I MEAN, I KNOW JOEY IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND |
| 477 | OR MY THERMOS... |
| 478 | YOU KNOW, OR ANYTHING, BUT... |
| 479 | HEY, YOU'RE NOT |
| 480 | GOING TO LOSE HIM. |
| 481 | YOU'VE GOT TO TALK TO JOEY. |
| 482 | YEAH. |
| 483 | HE DOESN'T KNOW THIS STUFF. |
| 484 | IF HE KNEW HOW YOU FELT... |
| 485 | HE'S FALLING IN LOVE WITH HER. |
| 486 | OH, PLEASE. |
| 487 | THEY'VE BEEN GOING OUT A WEEK. |
| 488 | THEY HAVEN'T EVEN SLEPT TOGETHER YET. |
| 489 | I MEAN, THAT'S NOT SERIOUS. |
| 490 | OKAY. OKAY. |
| 491 | OKAY. OH... |
| 492 | OH! |
| 493 | YEAH, UM... |
| 494 | MAY WE HELP YOU? |
| 495 | RACHEL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? |
| 496 | IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE. |
| 497 | WOULD YOU COME BACK INSIDE? |
| 498 | NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. |
| 499 | YOU WANTED ME TO TAKE THEM DOWN |
| 500 | SO I'M TAKING THEM DOWN, OKAY? |
| 501 | WHOA. WHOA! |
| 502 | RACHEL! |
| 503 | RACHEL! |
| 504 | I'M OKAY! I'M OKAY! |
| 505 | MR. HECKLES? |
| 506 | MR. HECKLES, COULD YOU HELP ME, PLEASE? |
| 507 | SEE, THIS IS JUST THE KIND OF THING |
| 508 | I WAS TALKING ABOUT. |
| 509 | |
| 1 | PREVIOUSLY: |
| 2 | EXCUSE ME, MISS. |
| 3 | IT'S PHOEBE. |
| 4 | WOULD THAT BE ALL? |
| 5 | THEY'RE TWINS. |
| 6 | PHOEBE'S PHOEBE. |
| 7 | URSULA'S... HOT. |
| 8 | IT'S FOR URSULA. |
| 9 | SURE. HERE. |
| 10 | OKAY, IT FITS. |
| 11 | MARCEL, GIVE ROSSY THE REMOTE. |
| 12 | ( audio in Spanish ) |
| 13 | HOW DID HE DO THIS? |
| 14 | IT'S THIS WHOLE STUPID URSULA THING. |
| 15 | HE'S GOING OUT WITH HER. |
| 16 | IS IT REALLY SO TERRIBLE? |
| 17 | YOU DON'T KNOW HER. |
| 18 | TALK TO JOEY. |
| 19 | HE'S FALLING IN LOVE WITH HER. |
| 20 | YOU WON'T LOSE HIM. |
| 21 | THEY HAVEN'T EVEN SLEPT TOGETHER YET. |
| 22 | IT'S NOT SERIOUS. |
| 23 | OH! |
| 24 | UM... YEAH... |
| 25 | MAY WE HELP YOU? |
| 26 | ( yelping ) |
| 27 | RACHEL! |
| 28 | I'M OKAY! I'M OKAY! |
| 29 | Rachel: OW, OW, OW. |
| 30 | Monica: OW, OW, OW. |
| 31 | OW, OW, OW. |
| 32 | OW, OW, OW. |
| 33 | HI. MY FRIEND WAS TAKING DOWN |
| 34 | OUR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS |
| 35 | AND FELL OFF THE BALCONY |
| 36 | AND PROBABLY BROKE HER FOOT. |
| 37 | YOU STILL HAVE YOUR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS UP?! |
| 38 | FILL THIS OUT |
| 39 | AND BRING IT BACK TO ME. |
| 40 | OW, OW, OW. |
| 41 | OW, OW, OW. |
| 42 | OKAY. OKAY. |
| 43 | OOH. ALL RIGHT. |
| 44 | NAME. |
| 45 | ADDRESS. |
| 46 | OKAY. IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, CALL..? |
| 47 | YOU. |
| 48 | REALLY? |
| 49 | YEAH. |
| 50 | OH, THAT'S SO SWEET. |
| 51 | OH, GOSH. |
| 52 | I LOVE YOU. |
| 53 | INSURANCE? |
| 54 | OH, YEAH. CHECK IT. |
| 55 | DEFINITELY WILL WANT SOME. |
| 56 | YOU DON'T HAVE INSURANCE? |
| 57 | WHY? HOW MUCH WILL THIS COST? |
| 58 | X RAYS ALONE COULD BE A COUPLE HUNDRED DOLLARS. |
| 59 | WHAT WILL WE DO? |
| 60 | THERE'S NOT MUCH WE CAN DO. |
| 61 | UM... UNLESS, UNLESS I USE YOURS. |
| 62 | NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. |
| 63 | NOW, WAIT A SECOND. |
| 64 | WHO DID I JUST PUT |
| 65 | AS MY "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY" PERSON? |
| 66 | THAT'S INSURANCE FRAUD. |
| 67 | WELL, ALL RIGHT. |
| 68 | THEN, FORGET IT. |
| 69 | MIGHT AS WELL JUST GO HOME. |
| 70 | OW! OW! OW! |
| 71 | OKAY. COME HERE. |
| 72 | I HATE THIS. |
| 73 | THANK YOU. |
| 74 | I LOVE YOU. |
| 75 | HI. |
| 76 | UM, I'M GOING TO NEED A NEW SET OF THESE FORMS. |
| 77 | WHY? |
| 78 | I AM REALLY AN IDIOT. |
| 79 | YOU SEE |
| 80 | I WAS FILLING OUT MY FRIEND'S FORM |
| 81 | AND INSTEAD OF PUTTING HER INFORMATION |
| 82 | I PUT MINE. |
| 83 | YOU ARE AN IDIOT. |
| 84 | YEP. THAT'S ME. |
| 85 | I'M THAT STUPID. |
| 86 | I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT |
| 87 | WHERE I WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL WITH MY KID. |
| 88 | Both: THAT'S NICE. |
| 89 | NO. WITH HIM. |
| 90 | I'M ON THIS FIELD, AND THEY HIKE ME THE BABY. |
| 91 | AND I KNOW |
| 92 | I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING |
| 93 | 'CAUSE THE TAMPA BAY DEFENSE |
| 94 | IS COMING RIGHT AT ME. |
| 95 | TAMPA BAY HAS A TERRIBLE TEAM. |
| 96 | RIGHT, BUT... |
| 97 | IT IS JUST ME AND THE BABY |
| 98 | SO I'M THINKING THEY CAN TAKE US. |
| 99 | AND SO, I, UH... I JUST HEAVE IT DOWNFIELD! |
| 100 | YOU'RE CRAZY?! THAT'S A BABY! |
| 101 | HE SHOULD TAKE THE SACK? |
| 102 | ANYWAY, SUDDENLY I'M DOWNFIELD, AND I REALIZE THAT I'M THE ONE |
| 103 | WHO'S SUPPOSED TO CATCH HIM, RIGHT? |
| 104 | ONLY I KNOW THERE IS NO WAY I'LL GET THERE IN TIME. |
| 105 | SO I AM RUNNING AND I'M RUNNING |
| 106 | AND THAT IS WHEN I WOKE UP. |
| 107 | SEE, I AM SO NOT READY TO BE A FATHER. |
| 108 | HEY, YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE. |
| 109 | YOU'RE ONE OF THE MOST CARING |
| 110 | MOST RESPONSIBLE MEN |
| 111 | IN NORTH AMERICA. |
| 112 | YOU'LL MAKE A GREAT DAD. |
| 113 | YEAH. YOU AND THE BABY JUST NEED BETTER BLOCKING. |
| 114 | HAVE EITHER ONE OF YOU |
| 115 | EVER BEEN TO THE RAINBOW ROOM? |
| 116 | IS IT REAL EXPENSIVE? |
| 117 | ONLY IF YOU ORDER STUFF. |
| 118 | I'M TAKING URSULA TONIGHT. |
| 119 | IT'S HER BIRTHDAY. |
| 120 | WHOA. WHAT ABOUT PHOEBE'S BIRTHDAY? |
| 121 | WHEN'S THAT? |
| 122 | UH... |
| 123 | TONIGHT. |
| 124 | AH, MAN. |
| 125 | WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT HAPPENING? |
| 126 | YOU TAKE YOUR TIME. |
| 127 | THERE IT IS. |
| 128 | SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? |
| 129 | WHAT CAN I DO? |
| 130 | LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO SCREW IT UP WITH URSULA. |
| 131 | AND YOUR FRIEND PHOEBE? |
| 132 | IF SHE'S MY FRIEND, HOPEFULLY SHE'LL UNDERSTAND. |
| 133 | WOULDN'T YOU GUYS? |
| 134 | MAN, IF YOU TRIED SOMETHING LIKE THAT |
| 135 | ON MY BIRTHDAY |
| 136 | YOU'D BE STARING AT THE BUSINESS END |
| 137 | OF A HISSY FIT. |
| 138 | YOU ADD A PINCH OF SAFFRON. |
| 139 | IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE. |
| 140 | OKAY. |
| 141 | UHH... MONICA. |
| 142 | YES. |
| 143 | YES, SHE IS. |
| 144 | HI. |
| 145 | THIS IS MY FRIEND RACHEL. |
| 146 | HI, RACHEL. |
| 147 | I'M DR. MITCHELL. |
| 148 | AND I'M HIS FRIEND, DR. ROSEN. |
| 149 | YOU'RE A LITTLE CUTE TO BE A DOCTOR. |
| 150 | EXCUSE ME? |
| 151 | I MEANT "YOUNG." |
| 152 | YOUNG TO BE A DOCTOR. |
| 153 | GOOD, RACH. |
| 154 | THANK YOU. |
| 155 | RIGHT. |
| 156 | SO HE SAID IT WAS JUST A SPRAIN |
| 157 | AND THAT WAS IT. |
| 158 | YOU LEFT OUT THE STUPID PART. |
| 159 | IT'S NOT STUPID. |
| 160 | THE VERY CUTE DOCTORS ASKED US OUT |
| 161 | FOR TOMORROW NIGHT, AND I SAID YES. |
| 162 | I THINK IT'S TOTALLY INSANE. |
| 163 | THEY WORK FOR THE HOSPITAL. |
| 164 | IT'S LIKE RETURNING TO THE SCENE |
| 165 | OF THE CRIME. |
| 166 | I SAY WE BLOW OFF THE DATES. |
| 167 | WHAT?! |
| 168 | MONICA, THEY ARE CUTE. |
| 169 | THEY ARE DOCTORS. |
| 170 | CUTE DOCTORS. |
| 171 | DOCTORS WHO ARE CUTE. |
| 172 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 173 | WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED SO FAR? |
| 174 | ( knocking ) |
| 175 | OH, GOD. OKAY. |
| 176 | All: SURPRISE! |
| 177 | WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? |
| 178 | YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME. |
| 179 | WAS THAT THE CAKE? |
| 180 | YEAH. YEP. |
| 181 | I GOT A LEMON SHMUSH. |
| 182 | COME ON. SHE'LL BE HERE SOON. |
| 183 | Rachel: OH, I HOPE IT'S OKAY. |
| 184 | "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PEEHEE." |
| 185 | MAYBE WE CAN MAKE A "B" OUT OF A ROSE. |
| 186 | WE'LL JUST USE OUR SPECIAL CAKE TOOLS. |
| 187 | HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 188 | All: SURPRISE! |
| 189 | OH! OH! OH! |
| 190 | THIS IS SO GREAT! |
| 191 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 192 | THIS WAS NOT AT ALL SCARY. |
| 193 | HI, EVERYBODY. HI, BETTY. |
| 194 | BETTY! HI! |
| 195 | YOU FOUND BETTY! |
| 196 | THIS IS SO GREAT. |
| 197 | OH, EVERYBODY I LOVE IS IN THE SAME ROOM, OH. |
| 198 | WHERE'S JOEY? |
| 199 | DID YOU SEE BETTY? |
| 200 | I WOULDN'T MIND HAVING |
| 201 | A PIECE OF THIS SUN-DRIED |
| 202 | TOMATO BUSINESS. |
| 203 | FIVE YEARS AGO, IF SOMEBODY HAD SAID TO ME |
| 204 | "HERE'S A TOMATO THAT LOOKS LIKE A PRUNE" |
| 205 | I'D HAVE SAID, "GET OUT OF MY OFFICE." |
| 206 | DAD, BEFORE I WAS BORN, DID YOU FREAK OUT AT ALL? |
| 207 | I'M NOT FREAKING OUT! |
| 208 | I'M JUST SAYING |
| 209 | IF SOMEONE HAD COME TO ME... |
| 210 | DAD, DAD, DAD... |
| 211 | I'M TALKING ABOUT THE WHOLE BABY THING. |
| 212 | DID YOU EVER GET THIS SORT OF... |
| 213 | PANICKY, "OH, MY GOD, I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER" |
| 214 | KIND OF A THING? |
| 215 | NO. |
| 216 | YOUR MOTHER DID THE WORK. |
| 217 | I WAS BUSY WITH THE BUSINESS. |
| 218 | I WASN'T AROUND THAT MUCH. |
| 219 | IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT? |
| 220 | NO, DAD. I WAS JUST WONDERING... |
| 221 | 'CAUSE THERE'S TIME TO MAKE UP FOR THAT. |
| 222 | YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO THAT COLONIAL WILLIAMSBURG. |
| 223 | HOW ABOUT WE DO THAT? |
| 224 | THANKS, DAD, REALLY. |
| 225 | I JU... YOU KNOW, I JUST... |
| 226 | I JUST... I JUST NEEDED TO KNOW, UM... |
| 227 | WHEN DID YOU START TO FEEL LIKE A FATHER? |
| 228 | OH. |
| 229 | WELL, I GUESS IT MUST HAVE BEEN... |
| 230 | THE DAY AFTER YOU WERE BORN. |
| 231 | WE WERE IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM. |
| 232 | YOUR MOTHER WAS ASLEEP |
| 233 | AND THEY BROUGHT YOU IN |
| 234 | AND GAVE YOU TO ME. |
| 235 | YOU WERE THIS UGLY LITTLE RED THING. |
| 236 | ( chuckles ) |
| 237 | AND ALL OF A SUDDEN |
| 238 | YOU GRABBED MY FINGER WITH YOUR WHOLE FIST |
| 239 | AND YOU SQUEEZED IT SO TIGHT. |
| 240 | AND THAT'S WHEN I KNEW. |
| 241 | SO YOU DON'T WANT TO GO |
| 242 | TO WILLIAMSBURG? |
| 243 | WE CAN GO TO WILLIAMSBURG. |
| 244 | EAT YOUR FISH. |
| 245 | ( audio in Spanish ) |
| 246 | RACHEL, THE CUTE DOCTORS ARE HERE. |
| 247 | HI. COME ON IN. |
| 248 | Both: HI. |
| 249 | HI. |
| 250 | WE BROUGHT WINE. |
| 251 | IT'S FROM THE CELLARS |
| 252 | OF ERNEST AND TOVA BORGNINE. |
| 253 | SO, HOW COULD WE RESIST? |
| 254 | OH, THAT'S GREAT! |
| 255 | MONICA, HOW'S THE ANKLE? |
| 256 | IT'S... |
| 257 | ( Rachel clearing throat ) |
| 258 | WHY DON'T YOU TELL THEM? |
| 259 | AFTER ALL, IT IS YOUR ANKLE. |
| 260 | IT'S FEELING A LOT BETTER. |
| 261 | THANK YOU. |
| 262 | LISTEN, GUYS, SIT DOWN |
| 263 | AND WE'LL GET YOU SOME GLASSES. |
| 264 | OKAY. |
| 265 | OKAY. |
| 266 | STAT. |
| 267 | LISTEN. I'M THINKING |
| 268 | LET'S JUST TELL THEM WHO WE ARE. |
| 269 | I REALLY THINK IT'LL BE FINE. |
| 270 | IT WILL NOT BE FINE. |
| 271 | WE'LL GET IN TROUBLE. |
| 272 | WOULD YOU STOP BEING SUCH A WUSS. |
| 273 | A WUSS? |
| 274 | EXCUSE ME FOR LIVING IN THE REAL WORLD. |
| 275 | SO? |
| 276 | SO THEY STILL SEEM NORMAL. |
| 277 | THEY ARE NORMAL. |
| 278 | BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT |
| 279 | EVERY TIME WE GO OUT WITH WOMEN |
| 280 | WE MEET AT THE HOSPITAL... |
| 281 | RELAX. LOOK AROUND. |
| 282 | THERE ARE NO PAGAN ALTARS. |
| 283 | NO PILES OF BONES IN THE CORNERS. |
| 284 | THEY'RE FINE. |
| 285 | GO LIKE THIS. |
| 286 | I SAID WE ARE NOT GOING TO DO IT. |
| 287 | SOMETIMES YOU CAN BE SUCH A BIG BABY. |
| 288 | I AM NOT A BABY. |
| 289 | SERIOUS. I MEAN, EVERY TIME... |
| 290 | YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 291 | WHAT? |
| 292 | YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 293 | WHAT?! |
| 294 | EVERY DAY, YOU ARE BECOMING |
| 295 | MORE AND MORE LIKE YOUR MOTHER. |
| 296 | EXCUSE ME. |
| 297 | HELLO! HERE WE GO! |
| 298 | THIS IS A GREAT PLACE. |
| 299 | HOW LONG HAVE YOU LIVED HERE? |
| 300 | THANKS. I'VE BEEN HERE ABOUT SIX YEARS. |
| 301 | AND RACHEL MOVED IN A FEW MONTHS AGO. |
| 302 | YEAH. |
| 303 | SEE, I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED, BUT, UM... |
| 304 | I LEFT THE GUY AT THE ALTAR. |
| 305 | HMM. |
| 306 | REALLY? |
| 307 | YEAH. |
| 308 | YEAH, I KNOW IT'S PRETTY SELFISH |
| 309 | BUT, HEY, THAT'S ME. |
| 310 | WHY DON'T YOU TRY THE HUMMUS? |
| 311 | SO, MONICA, WHAT DO YOU DO? |
| 312 | UHH... I AM A CHEF AT A RESTAURANT UPTOWN. |
| 313 | GOOD FOR YOU. |
| 314 | YEAH, IT IS. |
| 315 | MOSTLY BECAUSE I GET TO BOSS PEOPLE AROUND |
| 316 | WHICH I JUST LOVE TO DO. |
| 317 | WELL, THIS HUMMUS IS GREAT. |
| 318 | GOD BLESS THE CHICK-PEA. |
| 319 | ( breaking into laughter ) |
| 320 | OH, GOD. |
| 321 | I AM SO SPOILED. |
| 322 | THAT'S IT. |
| 323 | AND BY THE WAY |
| 324 | HAVE I MENTIONED THAT BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL |
| 325 | I WAS A COW? |
| 326 | I USED TO WET MY BED. |
| 327 | I USED MY BREASTS TO GET PEOPLE'S ATTENTION. |
| 328 | WE BOTH DO THAT. |
| 329 | ( phone ringing ) |
| 330 | ( ringing continues ) |
| 331 | MONICA AND RACHEL'S APARTMENT. |
| 332 | UH, JUST ONE SECOND. |
| 333 | UH, RACHEL-- |
| 334 | IT'S YOUR DAD. |
| 335 | HI, DAD. |
| 336 | NO. IT'S ME. |
| 337 | LISTEN, DAD, I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW. |
| 338 | BUT THERE'S SOMETHING, UM... |
| 339 | THERE'S SOMETHING THAT |
| 340 | I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU. |
| 341 | EXCUSE ME A SECOND. |
| 342 | REMEMBER BACK IN FRESHMAN YEAR? |
| 343 | BILLY DRESKIN AND I HAD SEX |
| 344 | ON YOUR BED. |
| 345 | ( gasping ) |
| 346 | DADDY... DADDY, WHY? |
| 347 | WHY WOULD I SLEEP WITH BILLY DRESKIN? |
| 348 | HIS FATHER TRIED TO PUT YOU OUT OF BUSINESS. |
| 349 | YOU ARE DEAD! |
| 350 | ROSS, HE'S GOT THE REMOTE AGAIN. |
| 351 | GOOD. |
| 352 | MAYBE HE CAN SWITCH IT BACK. |
| 353 | ( TV audio in Spanish ) |
| 354 | MAYBE NOT. |
| 355 | HELLO? |
| 356 | UM... YEAH. |
| 357 | UH... OKAY. |
| 358 | HOLD ON A SECOND. |
| 359 | LET ME JUST SEE IF SHE'S HERE. |
| 360 | IT'S THE WOMAN FROM THE HOSPITAL |
| 361 | ADMISSIONS OFFICE. |
| 362 | THERE'S A PROBLEM WITH THE FORM. |
| 363 | OH, GOD. WHAT DO WE DO? |
| 364 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 365 | FIND OUT WHAT THEY WANT. |
| 366 | OKAY. NO, YOU DO IT. |
| 367 | HELLO. THIS IS MONICA. |
| 368 | YEAH? |
| 369 | OH. |
| 370 | OKAY. |
| 371 | YES, WE'LL BE RIGHT DOWN. |
| 372 | THANK YOU. |
| 373 | WHAT? |
| 374 | WE FORGOT TO SIGN |
| 375 | ONE OF THE ADMISSIONS FORMS. |
| 376 | OKAY, YOU WERE RIGHT. |
| 377 | THIS WAS NOT WORTH IT. |
| 378 | THANK YOU. |
| 379 | OKAY, LET ME JUST CHANGE. |
| 380 | HEY. |
| 381 | HEY.HI. HEY. |
| 382 | TROUBLE? |
| 383 | YOUR SISTER STOOD ME UP THE OTHER NIGHT. |
| 384 | OH, NO. DON'T YOU HATE IT |
| 385 | WHEN PEOPLE AREN'T THERE FOR YOU? |
| 386 | DID YOU TRY CALLING HER? |
| 387 | I'VE BEEN TRYING FOR TWO DAYS. |
| 388 | WHEN I CALLED THE RESTAURANT |
| 389 | THEY SAID SHE WAS TOO BUSY TO TALK. |
| 390 | I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S BLOWING ME OFF. |
| 391 | HEY. |
| 392 | OH. |
| 393 | HAVE YOU GOT A MINUTE? |
| 394 | YEAH. I'M JUST WORKING. |
| 395 | SO... |
| 396 | UH-HUH. |
| 397 | UM... OH, I GOT YOU A BIRTHDAY PRESENT. |
| 398 | OH, WOW, YOU REMEMBERED. |
| 399 | OH, IT'S A JUDY JETSON THERMOS. |
| 400 | THE KIND YOU... |
| 401 | RIGHT. |
| 402 | I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU TOO. |
| 403 | HOW'D YOU KNOW |
| 404 | I WAS COMING? |
| 405 | UM... YEAH, UM, TWIN THING. |
| 406 | I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS. |
| 407 | I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU... DID THIS. |
| 408 | SO... |
| 409 | WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH YOU AND JOEY? |
| 410 | OH, RIGHT. |
| 411 | HE IS SO GREAT. |
| 412 | BUT THAT'S OVER. |
| 413 | DOES HE KNOW? |
| 414 | WHO? |
| 415 | JOEY. |
| 416 | YOU KNOW, UM... |
| 417 | HE'S REALLY NUTSY ABOUT YOU. |
| 418 | HE IS? WHY? |
| 419 | YOU GOT ME. |
| 420 | EXCUSE ME. |
| 421 | DOESN'T THIS COME WITH A SIDE SALAD? |
| 422 | SO, ARE YOU GOING TO CALL HIM? |
| 423 | YOU THINK HE LIKES ME? |
| 424 | NO, JOEY. |
| 425 | OH. NO. |
| 426 | NO. HE IS SO SMART. |
| 427 | HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT. |
| 428 | DO YOU WANT SOME CHICKEN? |
| 429 | NO. NO FOOD WITH A FACE. |
| 430 | YOU HAVE NOT CHANGED. |
| 431 | YEAH, YOU TOO. |
| 432 | HI. REMEMBER US? |
| 433 | MM-HMM. |
| 434 | YOU JUST CALLED A LITTLE WHILE AGO |
| 435 | ABOUT NEEDING A SIGNATURE ON THE ADMISSIONS FORM. |
| 436 | WELL, IT TURNS OUT WE NEED A WHOLE NEW ONE |
| 437 | BECAUSE, YOU SEE, I PUT THE WRONG NAME AGAIN |
| 438 | 'CAUSE, UM... |
| 439 | YOU'RE THAT STUPID. |
| 440 | I AM. |
| 441 | I'M THAT STUPID. |
| 442 | YEAH, AND I'M JUST GOING |
| 443 | TO PAY FOR THIS WITH A CHECK. |
| 444 | WELL, YOUR INSURANCE WILL COVER THAT. |
| 445 | YEAH, I KNOW. |
| 446 | I'M JUST NOT THAT BRIGHT EITHER. |
| 447 | OKAY, WORST CASE SCENARIO. |
| 448 | SAY YOU NEVER FEEL LIKE A FATHER. |
| 449 | SAY YOUR SON NEVER FEELS |
| 450 | CONNECTED TO YOU AS ONE. |
| 451 | SAY ALL OF HIS RELATIONSHIPS |
| 452 | ARE AFFECTED BY THIS. |
| 453 | DO YOU HAVE A POINT? |
| 454 | YOU KNOW, YOU'D THINK I WOULD. |
| 455 | WHAT'S UP WITH THE SIMIAN? |
| 456 | IT'S JUST A FURBALL. |
| 457 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 458 | OKAY, WHOSE TURN IS IT? |
| 459 | YOURS. |
| 460 | I JUST GOT 43 POINTS FOR "KIDNEY." |
| 461 | NO, YOU GOT ZERO POINTS FOR "IDNEY." |
| 462 | HEY, WHERE'S MY "K"? |
| 463 | ( choking ) |
| 464 | YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME. |
| 465 | MY MONKEY SWALLOWED A "K." |
| 466 | YOU'LL HAVE TO GET |
| 467 | THAT ANIMAL OUT OF HERE. |
| 468 | THE ANIMAL HOSPITAL IS WAY ACROSS TOWN. |
| 469 | HE'S CHOKING. |
| 470 | WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 471 | MARCEL SWALLOWED A SCRABBLE TILE. |
| 472 | OH. |
| 473 | EXCUSE ME. |
| 474 | THIS HOSPITAL IS FOR PEOPLE. |
| 475 | LADY, HE IS PEOPLE. |
| 476 | HE HAS A NAME, OKAY? |
| 477 | HE WATCHES JEOPARDY |
| 478 | HE TOUCHES HIMSELF WHEN NOBODY'S WATCHING. |
| 479 | PLEASE, PLEASE, HAVE A HEART. |
| 480 | I'LL LOOK AT HIM. |
| 481 | OH, THANK YOU. OH, THANK YOU. |
| 482 | MICHAEL! MICHAEL! |
| 483 | RACHEL. |
| 484 | WHAT? |
| 485 | MONICA. |
| 486 | HI. OH. |
| 487 | HEY... |
| 488 | URS... WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? |
| 489 | I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU. |
| 490 | LISTEN, UM... |
| 491 | NO, NO, NO, DON'T SAY, "LISTEN." |
| 492 | I KNOW THAT "LISTEN." |
| 493 | I'VE SAID THAT "LISTEN." |
| 494 | I'M SORRY. |
| 495 | I DON'T GET IT. |
| 496 | WHAT HAPPENED? |
| 497 | WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU SAID UNDER THE BRIDGE? |
| 498 | YEAH, UM... |
| 499 | YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD JUST FORGET ABOUT |
| 500 | WHAT I SAID UNDER THE BRIDGE. |
| 501 | I WAS TALKING CRAZY THAT NIGHT. |
| 502 | I WAS SO DRUNK. |
| 503 | YOU DON'T DRINK. |
| 504 | THAT'S RIGHT, I DON'T. |
| 505 | BUT I WAS DRUNK ON YOU. |
| 506 | OH, URS. |
| 507 | YEAH, SO IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK. |
| 508 | WHY? IS IT BECAUSE I'M FRIENDS WITH PHOEBE? |
| 509 | IF IT WAS, WOULD YOU STOP HANGING OUT WITH HER? |
| 510 | NO. |
| 511 | NO. I COULDN'T DO THAT. |
| 512 | THEN, YEAH. |
| 513 | IT'S 'CAUSE OF PHOEBE. |
| 514 | SO, IT'S EITHER HER OR ME. |
| 515 | THEN, UH... THEN I'M SORRY. |
| 516 | YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GOING TO BE REALLY HARD TO GET OVER. |
| 517 | I KNOW. |
| 518 | I DON'T KNOW WHETHER IT'S JUST 'CAUSE WE'RE BREAKING UP OR WHAT |
| 519 | BUT YOU HAVE NEVER LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL. |
| 520 | REALLY? |
| 521 | PHEEBS? |
| 522 | YEAH? |
| 523 | HE LOOKS SO TINY. |
| 524 | WE JUST GOT THE MESSAGE. |
| 525 | IS HE ALL RIGHT? |
| 526 | YEAH. THE DOCTOR GOT THE "K" OUT. |
| 527 | HE ALSO FOUND AN "M" AND AN "O." |
| 528 | WE THINK HE WAS TRYING TO SPELL OUT "MONKEY." |
| 529 | WELL, THE DOCTOR SAYS HE'S GOING TO BE FINE. |
| 530 | HE'S JUST SLEEPING NOW. |
| 531 | SO, YOU FEEL LIKE A DAD YET? |
| 532 | NO. WHY? |
| 533 | HEY, COME ON. |
| 534 | YOU CAME THROUGH. |
| 535 | YOU DID WHAT YOU HAD TO DO. |
| 536 | THAT'S VERY DAD. |
| 537 | OH, LOOK. |
| 538 | HE'S WAKING UP. |
| 539 | HEY, FELLA. |
| 540 | HOW YOU DOING? |
| 541 | ♪ IN A NEW YORK MINUTE ♪ |
| 542 | ♪ OOH-EE-OOH ♪ |
| 543 | ♪ EVERYTHING CAN CHANGE ♪ |
| 544 | ♪ IN A NEW YORK MINUTE... ♪ |
| 545 | [Captioning sponsored by NBC and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION] |
| 546 | ¿A QUIEN PIDIO EL POLLO GENERAL TSO? |
| 547 | PUDO AVICIEDO GENERAL TSO. |
| 548 | MIRA, MIRA, EL VIEJO DESNUDO ESTA ESIENDO EL HULA HOOP. |
| 549 | Todo: HOLA, JOEY! |
| 550 | HOLA, AMIGOS. |
| 551 | MIRA, ROSS, MARCEL SE LLEVO EL CONTROL REMOTO. |
| 552 | LO QUE SUCEDIO ES QUE NO LE GUSTA LA TELE. |
| 553 | [Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation] |
| 554 | |
| 1 | ( whistling "Colonel Bogey March" ) |
| 2 | Ross: OH, RACH, WE'RE RUNNING LOW |
| 3 | ON RESUMES OVER HERE. |
| 4 | DO YOU REALLY WANT A JOB WITH POPULAR MECHANICS? |
| 5 | IF YOU'RE GOING TO WORK FOR A MECHANIC |
| 6 | THOSE ARE THE ONES TO WORK FOR. |
| 7 | LOOK, I'M GOING FOR ANYTHING. |
| 8 | I CANNOT BE A WAITRESS ANYMORE. |
| 9 | I'M SICK OF THE LOUSY TIPS |
| 10 | SICK OF BEING CALLED "EXCUSE ME." |
| 11 | Ross: RACH, DID YOU |
| 12 | PROOFREAD THESE? |
| 13 | UH, YEAH. WHY? |
| 14 | UH, NOTHING. I'M SURE THEY'LL BE IMPRESSED |
| 15 | WITH YOUR EXCELLENT "COMPUPER" SKILLS. |
| 16 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 17 | OH, DO YOU THINK IT'S ON ALL OF THEM? |
| 18 | OH, NO. I'M SURE THE XEROX MACHINE CAUGHT A FEW. |
| 19 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 20 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 21 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 22 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 23 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 24 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 25 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 26 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 27 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 28 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 29 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 30 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 31 | HEY, GUYS. |
| 32 | Both: HEY. |
| 33 | HEY. |
| 34 | HI, LADIES. |
| 35 | UH, CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING? |
| 36 | DID YOU BRING THE MAIL? |
| 37 | LOTS OF RESPONSES. |
| 38 | REALLY? SURE WE HAVE SCONES LEFT. |
| 39 | OKAY, READ THEM TO ME. |
| 40 | "DEAR MS. GREEN, THANK YOU FOR YOUR INQUIRY. |
| 41 | HOWEVER..." |
| 42 | WE HAVE APPLE CINNAMON... |
| 43 | OKAY, "DEAR MS. GREEN..." |
| 44 | YEP, YEP, YEP. |
| 45 | NO. |
| 46 | WOW. WHAT? |
| 47 | YOUR VISA BILL IS HUGE. |
| 48 | GIVE ME THAT. |
| 49 | LINDA IS SO GREAT. |
| 50 | WHY WON'T YOU GO OUT WITH HER AGAIN? |
| 51 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 52 | IS THIS STILL ABOUT HER WHOLE |
| 53 | "THE FLINTSTONES COULD HAVE REALLY HAPPENED" THING? |
| 54 | NO. IT'S NOT JUST THAT. |
| 55 | IT'S JUST I WANT SOMEONE WHO DOES SOMETHING FOR ME. |
| 56 | WHO GETS MY HEART POUNDING. |
| 57 | WHO... WHO MAKES ME, UH... |
| 58 | LITTLE PLAYTHINGS WITH YARN? |
| 59 | WHAT? |
| 60 | COULD YOU WANT HER MORE? |
| 61 | WHO? |
| 62 | DEE, THE SARCASTIC SISTER FROM WHAT'S HAPPENING. |
| 63 | LOOK, I... |
| 64 | LOOK, I AM TOTALLY, TOTALLY OVER HER, OKAY... |
| 65 | HI. HI. CAN I HELP YOU? |
| 66 | NO. WE'RE FINE. |
| 67 | OKAY. |
| 68 | ( laughs ) |
| 69 | SHUT UP! |
| 70 | WE'RE NOT SAYING ANYTHING. |
| 71 | WHAT? UH, JOEY CRIED LAST NIGHT. |
| 72 | THANK YOU. |
| 73 | WE WERE PLAYING POKER, ALL RIGHT... |
| 74 | THERE WAS CHOCOLATE ON THE "THREE." |
| 75 | IT LOOKED LIKE AN "EIGHT," ALL RIGHT? |
| 76 | YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIM. |
| 77 | "READ 'EM AND WEEP." |
| 78 | AND THEN HE DID. |
| 79 | NOW, HOW COME YOU GUYS |
| 80 | HAVE NEVER PLAYED POKER WITH US? |
| 81 | YEAH, WHAT IS THAT-- |
| 82 | LIKE, SOME KIND OF SEXIST GUY THING? |
| 83 | LIKE, IT'S POKER, SO ONLY GUYS CAN PLAY. |
| 84 | NO. WOMEN ARE WELCOME TO PLAY. |
| 85 | SO THEN WHAT IS IT? |
| 86 | SOME KIND OF, YOU KNOW, LIKE... |
| 87 | SOME KIND OF, LIKE... |
| 88 | ALL RIGHT, WHAT IS IT? |
| 89 | THERE JUST DON'T HAPPEN TO BE ANY WOMEN IN OUR GAME. |
| 90 | WE JUST DON'T HAPPEN TO KNOW ANY WOMEN |
| 91 | THAT KNOW HOW TO PLAY POKER. |
| 92 | THAT IS SUCH A LAME EXCUSE. |
| 93 | IT'S A TYPICAL GUY RESPONSE. |
| 94 | DO ANY OF YOU PLAY? |
| 95 | All: NO. |
| 96 | BUT YOU COULD TEACH US. |
| 97 | All: NO. |
| 98 | OKAY, SO NOW... |
| 99 | ( slowly ): WE DRAW CARDS. |
| 100 | I WOULDN'T NEED ANY, RIGHT? |
| 101 | 'CAUSE I HAVE A STRAIGHT. |
| 102 | GOOD FOR YOU! |
| 103 | CONGRATULATIONS! |
| 104 | ( bell dings ) |
| 105 | OKAY, PHOEBS, HOW MANY DO YOU WANT? |
| 106 | OKAY. I JUST NEED TWO. |
| 107 | THE TEN OF SPADES AND THE SIX OF CLUBS. |
| 108 | NO, PHOEBS, YOU CAN'T DO... |
| 109 | I HAVE THE TEN OF SPADES. |
| 110 | NO, NO... |
| 111 | UH, NO, SEE, YOU CAN'T DO THAT. |
| 112 | NO, THAT'S OKAY. |
| 113 | I DON'T NEED THEM. I'M GOING FOR FOURS. |
| 114 | OH, YOU'RE... |
| 115 | ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. |
| 116 | WE GOT SALMON ROULETTES AND ASSORTED CRUDITES. |
| 117 | WHOA, WHOA, MONICA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? |
| 118 | THIS IS A POKER GAME. |
| 119 | YOU CAN'T SERVE FOOD |
| 120 | WITH MORE THAN ONE SYLLABLE. |
| 121 | IT'S GOT TO BE LIKE CHIPS, OR DIP, OR PRETZ... |
| 122 | OKAY, SO AT THIS POINT, THE DEALER... |
| 123 | WE GOT IT. LET'S PLAY FOR REAL. |
| 124 | HIGH STAKES, BIG BUCKS. |
| 125 | ARE YOU SURE? |
| 126 | PHOEBE JUST THREW AWAY TWO JACKS |
| 127 | BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T LOOK HAPPY. |
| 128 | BUT I'M READY, SO JUST DEAL. |
| 129 | OKAY. LAST-MINUTE LESSON. |
| 130 | JOEY, THREE... |
| 131 | EIGHT. |
| 132 | EIGHT, THREE. |
| 133 | ALL RIGHT. VERY GOOD. |
| 134 | DAMMIT! |
| 135 | DAMMIT! DAMMIT! |
| 136 | I SEE. SO THEN, YOU WERE LYING. |
| 137 | ABOUT WHAT? |
| 138 | ABOUT HOW GOOD YOUR CARDS WERE. |
| 139 | I WAS BLUFFING. |
| 140 | UH-HUH. |
| 141 | AND WHAT IS BLUFFING? |
| 142 | IS IT NOT ANOTHER WORD FOR LYING? |
| 143 | OKAY. SORRY |
| 144 | TO BREAK UP THIS PARTY |
| 145 | BUT I'VE GOT TO GO FAX RESUMES... |
| 146 | RACH, WE GOT TO SETTLE. |
| 147 | SETTLE WHAT? |
| 148 | THE JAMESTOWN COLONY OF VIRGINIA. |
| 149 | YOU SEE, KING GEORGE IS GIVING US THE LAND... |
| 150 | THE GAME, RACHEL. |
| 151 | YOU OWE US MONEY FOR THE GAME. |
| 152 | OH. RIGHT. |
| 153 | GUYS, IT'S THEIR FIRST TIME. |
| 154 | LET'S FORGET ABOUT THE MONEY. |
| 155 | HELL, NO, WE'LL PAY. |
| 156 | MONICA, I HAD ANOTHER ANSWER ALL READY. |
| 157 | AND YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 158 | WE WANT A REMATCH. |
| 159 | WELL, THAT'S FINE WITH ME. |
| 160 | COULD USE THE MONEY. |
| 161 | SO BASICALLY, YOU GET YOUR YA-YAS |
| 162 | BY TAKING MONEY FROM ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS. |
| 163 | YEAH. |
| 164 | YES, AND I GET MY YA-YAS FROM IKEA. |
| 165 | YOU HAVE TO PUT THEM TOGETHER YOURSELF |
| 166 | BUT THEY COST A LITTLE LESS. |
| 167 | LOOK, RACH, THIS IS POKER. |
| 168 | I PLAY TO WIN, ALL RIGHT? |
| 169 | AND FOR ME TO WIN, OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TO LOSE. |
| 170 | SO IF YOU PLAY POKER WITH ME |
| 171 | DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE A NICE GUY. |
| 172 | 'CAUSE ONCE THOSE CARDS ARE DEALT... |
| 173 | YEAH? |
| 174 | I'M NOT A NICE GUY. |
| 175 | ALL RIGHT, BOYS, LET'S EAT. |
| 176 | OH, DID YOU GET THAT |
| 177 | FROM THE "I LOVE RACHEL" PIZZERIA? |
| 178 | YOU STILL ON THAT? |
| 179 | WHAT WAS WITH THAT WHOLE BLACK BART SPEECH? |
| 180 | "WHEN I PLAY POKER, I'M NOT A NICE GUY." |
| 181 | YOU ARE WAY OFF, PAL. |
| 182 | I DON'T THINK SO, SEE, ROSS |
| 183 | BECAUSE I THINK YOU LOVE HER. |
| 184 | UH, NO. |
| 185 | I MIGHT HAVE HAD FEELINGS FOR HER AT ONE TIME, NOT ANYMORE. |
| 186 | ( squeaking ) |
| 187 | MARCEL! |
| 188 | WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THAT DISK? |
| 189 | YOU ARE NOT PUTTING THAT ON, AGAIN. |
| 190 | IF YOU PRESS THAT BUTTON, YOU ARE IN VERY, |
| 191 | VERY BIG TROUBLE. |
| 192 | ( playing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" ) |
| 193 | DO YOU BELIEVE WHAT A JERK ROSS WAS BEING? |
| 194 | YEAH, I KNOW. |
| 195 | HE CAN GET REALLY COMPETITIVE. |
| 196 | ( sarcastic chuckle ) |
| 197 | WHAT? |
| 198 | HELLO, KETTLE? THIS IS MONICA. |
| 199 | YOU'RE BLACK. |
| 200 | PLEASE. |
| 201 | I AM NOT AS BAD AS ROSS. |
| 202 | OH, I BEG TO DIFFER. |
| 203 | THE PICTIONARY INCIDENT. |
| 204 | THAT WAS NOT AN INCIDENT. |
| 205 | I WAS GESTURING |
| 206 | AND THE PLATE SLIPPED OUT OF MY HAND. |
| 207 | OH... |
| 208 | OH! I GOT AN INTERVIEW! |
| 209 | YOU'RE KIDDING. |
| 210 | WHERE? |
| 211 | SAKS FIFTH AVENUE. |
| 212 | OH, RACHEL. |
| 213 | IT'S LIKE THE MOTHER SHIP IS CALLING YOU HOME. |
| 214 | WHAT'S THE JOB? |
| 215 | ASSISTANT BUYER. |
| 216 | OH! |
| 217 | I WOULD BE SHOPPING... |
| 218 | FOR A LIVING! |
| 219 | ( knock on door ) OKAY, THAT IS AUNT IRIS. |
| 220 | THIS WOMAN HAS BEEN PLAYING POKER SINCE SHE WAS FIVE. |
| 221 | LISTEN TO EVERY WORD SHE SAYS. |
| 222 | HI. IS TONY RANDALL DEAD? |
| 223 | NO. WHY? I DON'T THINK SO. |
| 224 | WELL, HE MAY BE NOW, BECAUSE I THINK |
| 225 | I HIT HIM WITH MY CAR. |
| 226 | OH, MY GOD, REALLY?! |
| 227 | NO. THAT'S BLUFFING-- |
| 228 | LESSON NUMBER ONE. |
| 229 | LISTEN |
| 230 | LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. |
| 231 | EVERYTHING YOU HEAR AT A POKER GAME |
| 232 | IS PURE CRAP. |
| 233 | NICE EARRINGS. |
| 234 | THANK YO... |
| 235 | GIRLS, SIT DOWN. |
| 236 | AUNT IRIS, THIS IS PHOEBE, AND THAT'S... |
| 237 | YEAH, YEAH. I AM PARKED AT A METER. |
| 238 | LET'S DO IT, OKAY? |
| 239 | ( music playing ) |
| 240 | ROSS, COULD WE PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, LISTEN TO ANYTHING ELSE? |
| 241 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 242 | I'M GOING TO PAY FOR THAT TONIGHT. |
| 243 | ( knocking on door ) |
| 244 | HI. |
| 245 | GUYS, GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT? |
| 246 | OKAY. THE FIFTH DENTIST CAVED |
| 247 | AND NOW THEY'RE ALL RECOMMENDING TRIDENT? |
| 248 | NO, THE INTERVIEW! |
| 249 | SHE ABSOLUTELY LOVED ME. |
| 250 | WE TALKED FOR TWO AND A HALF HOURS. |
| 251 | WE HAVE THE SAME TASTE IN CLOTHES. |
| 252 | AND I WENT TO CAMP WITH HER COUSIN. |
| 253 | AND, OH, THE JOB IS PERFECT. |
| 254 | I COULD DO THIS WELL. |
| 255 | OH! AND THEN SHE TOLD THE FUNNIEST STORY. |
| 256 | GREAT. YOU'LL TELL US AND WE'LL LAUGH. |
| 257 | LET'S PLAY POKER. |
| 258 | ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, YOU GUYS. |
| 259 | IF YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY |
| 260 | WE'D COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND. |
| 261 | YES. WE COULD PLAY SOME OTHER GAME |
| 262 | LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, PICTIONARY? |
| 263 | VERY FUNNY, VERY FUNNY. |
| 264 | BUT WE'D LIKE TO GIVE POKER ANOTHER TRY. |
| 265 | SHALL WE, LADIES? |
| 266 | Both: I THINK WE SHOULD. |
| 267 | DO YOU WANT ME TO SHUFFLE THOSE? |
| 268 | NO. THAT'S OKAY. |
| 269 | I'M GOING TO GIVE IT A GO. |
| 270 | ALL RIGHT... |
| 271 | UM... |
| 272 | SO, PHOEBS OWES 7.50, MONICA, YOU OWE TEN DOLLARS |
| 273 | AND, RACHEL, YOU OWE |
| 274 | 15 BIG ONES. |
| 275 | AND, HEY |
| 276 | THANKS FOR TEACHING US |
| 277 | CROSS-EYED MARY. |
| 278 | WE GOT TO PLAY THAT |
| 279 | AT OUR REGULAR GAME. |
| 280 | HERE'S MY 7.50, BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THIS MONEY IS CURSED. |
| 281 | WHAT? |
| 282 | OH, I CURSED IT. |
| 283 | SO NOW BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO HE WHO SPENDS IT. |
| 284 | I'LL TAKE IT. |
| 285 | BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME ANYWAY. |
| 286 | THIS WAY I CAN BREAK THEM UP WITH A MOVIE. |
| 287 | SO THAT JUST LEAVES THE BIG, GREEN POKER MACHINE |
| 288 | WHO OWES 15. |
| 289 | OH, IT'S SO TYPICAL. |
| 290 | OOH, I'M A MAN. |
| 291 | OOH, I HAVE A PENIS. |
| 292 | OOH, I HAVE TO WIN MONEY TO EXERT MY POWER |
| 293 | OVER WOMEN. |
| 294 | YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS NOT OVER. |
| 295 | WE WILL PLAY YOU AGAIN, AND WE WILL WIN |
| 296 | AND YOU WILL LOSE |
| 297 | AND YOU WILL BEG, AND WE WILL LAUGH |
| 298 | AND WE WILL TAKE EVERY LAST DIME YOU HAVE |
| 299 | AND YOU WILL HATE YOURSELVES FOREVER. |
| 300 | HMM. YOU KIND OF STEPPED ON MY POINT THERE, MON. |
| 301 | YOU GALS WANT TO HAND OVER YOUR MONEY NOW? |
| 302 | THAT WAY WE DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE FORMALITY |
| 303 | OF ACTUALLY PLAYING. |
| 304 | OH, THAT'S FINE. |
| 305 | WE'LL SEE WHO HAS THE LAST LAUGH THERE MONKEY BOY. |
| 306 | OKAY, WE DONE WITH THE CHIT-CHAT? |
| 307 | ARE WE READY TO PLAY SERIOUS POKER? |
| 308 | HEY, YOU GUYS, LOOK, THE ONE-EYED JACK |
| 309 | FOLLOWS ME WHEREVER I GO. |
| 310 | RIGHT, OKAY. SERIOUS POKER. |
| 311 | Monica: EXCUSE ME. WHERE ARE YOU GOING? |
| 312 | TO THE BATHROOM. |
| 313 | DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM OR PLAY POKER? |
| 314 | I WANT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. |
| 315 | WELL, I'M GOING TO ORDER A PIZZA. |
| 316 | OH, NO, NO, NO, NO! |
| 317 | I'M STILL WAITING TO HEAR FROM THAT JOB |
| 318 | AND THE STORE CLOSES AT 9:00, SO YOU CAN EAT THEN. |
| 319 | THAT'S FINE. |
| 320 | I'LL JUST HAVE A TIC TAC |
| 321 | TO HOLD ME OVER. |
| 322 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 323 | CINCINNATI, NO BLIND. |
| 324 | EVERYBODY ANTE. |
| 325 | YES! |
| 326 | OR NO. |
| 327 | ALL RIGHT! |
| 328 | YOUR MONEY'S MINE, GREEN. |
| 329 | YOUR FLY IS OPEN, GELLER. |
| 330 | YOU GUYS, YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED? |
| 331 | "JOKER" IS "POKER" WITH A "J." |
| 332 | COINCIDENCE? |
| 333 | HEY, THAT'S... |
| 334 | THAT'S "JOINCIDENCE" WITH A "C." |
| 335 | UH, PHOEBE? PHOEBE? |
| 336 | YEAH. UM, I'M OUT. |
| 337 | I'M IN. |
| 338 | ME TOO. |
| 339 | ME TOO. WHAT DO YOU GOT? |
| 340 | WELL, YOU'D BETTER HOP OUT OF THE SHOWER |
| 341 | 'CAUSE I GOTTA FLUSH. |
| 342 | WELL, WELL, WELL, HOP BACK IN, BUCKO |
| 343 | 'CAUSE I GOT FOUR SIXES. |
| 344 | I GOT FOUR SIXES. I WON. |
| 345 | I ACTUALLY WON. OH, MY... |
| 346 | I'M GOING TO MAKE A LITTLE ROSS PILE. |
| 347 | I THINK THAT ONE WAS ROSS'S |
| 348 | AND, OOH, THAT ONE WAS ROSS'S. |
| 349 | ♪ WELL, I HAVE GOT YOUR MONEY ♪ |
| 350 | ♪ AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE IT ♪ |
| 351 | ♪ AND YOUR FLY'S STILL OPEN ♪ |
| 352 | ♪ HAH, I MADE YOU LOOK. ♪ |
| 353 | Phoebe: MONICA, IN OR OUT? |
| 354 | I HATE THIS GAME. |
| 355 | OKAY, JOEY, YOUR BET. |
| 356 | I FOLD LIKE A CHEAP HOOKER WHO GOT HIT IN THE STOMACH |
| 357 | BY A FAT GUY WITH SORES ON HIS FACE. |
| 358 | OH, I'M OUT. |
| 359 | ROSS? |
| 360 | OH, I'M VERY IN. |
| 361 | CHANDLER? |
| 362 | COULDN'T BE MORE OUT. |
| 363 | ME TOO. |
| 364 | RACHEL. |
| 365 | UM, I WILL SEE YOU... |
| 366 | AND I'LL RAISE YOU. |
| 367 | WHAT DO YOU SAY? YOU WANT TO WASTE ANOTHER BUCK? |
| 368 | NOPE, NOT THIS TIME. |
| 369 | SO, WHAT DID YOU HAVE? |
| 370 | I'M NOT TELLING. SHOW THEM TO ME. |
| 371 | NO. SHOW THEM TO ME. |
| 372 | GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF THERE. NO. |
| 373 | I'VE HAD DATES LIKE THIS. |
| 374 | BOY, YOU REALLY CAN'T STAND TO LOSE, CAN YOU? |
| 375 | YOUR WHOLE FACE IS GETTING RED. |
| 376 | THE LITTLE VEIN'S POPPING OUT OF YOUR TEMPLE. |
| 377 | PLUS, THAT SHIRT DOESN'T REALLY MATCH THOSE PANTS. |
| 378 | FIRST OF ALL, I'M NOT LOSING... |
| 379 | ( phone rings ) |
| 380 | HELLO. RACHEL GREEN. |
| 381 | ( mimicking ): MM-MM-MM-MM-MM. |
| 382 | EXCUSE ME. |
| 383 | IT'S ABOUT THE JOB. |
| 384 | BARBARA, HI. HOW ARE YOU? |
| 385 | UH-HUH. |
| 386 | NO, I UNDERSTAND. |
| 387 | YEAH, OH, WELL, COME ON. NO, I'M FINE. |
| 388 | DON'T BE SILLY. |
| 389 | YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW, IF ANYTHING ELSE OPENS UP, |
| 390 | PLEASE... HELLO? |
| 391 | HELLO? |
| 392 | HMM... |
| 393 | SORRY, RACH. |
| 394 | THERE'S GOING TO BE LOTS OF OTHER STUFF. |
| 395 | YEAH. OKAY. |
| 396 | WHERE WERE WE? |
| 397 | OH. OKAY. |
| 398 | FIVE-CARD DRAW. |
| 399 | UH... JACKS OR BETTER. |
| 400 | NOTHING WILD. EVERYBODY ANTE. |
| 401 | LOOK, RACH, WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. |
| 402 | YES, WE DO. |
| 403 | ALL RIGHT, CHECK. |
| 404 | CHECK. |
| 405 | I'M IN FOR 50 CENTS. |
| 406 | CALL. |
| 407 | I'M IN. |
| 408 | I SEE YOUR 50 CENTS... |
| 409 | AND I RAISE YOU... |
| 410 | FIVE DOLLARS. |
| 411 | I THOUGHT IT WAS A 50-CENT LIMIT. |
| 412 | I JUST LOST A JOB AND I'D LIKE TO RAISE |
| 413 | THE BET FIVE BUCKS. |
| 414 | DOES ANYBODY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? |
| 415 | NOT AT ALL. NO. NO, NO. |
| 416 | LOSER? |
| 417 | NO, I FOLD. |
| 418 | WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT IS THIS? |
| 419 | I THOUGHT THAT |
| 420 | "ONCE THE CARDS ARE DEALT, I'M NOT A NICE GUY." |
| 421 | WERE YOU JUST FULL OF IT? |
| 422 | I'M IN. |
| 423 | HOW MANY YOU WANT? |
| 424 | ONE. |
| 425 | DEALER TAKES TWO. |
| 426 | WHAT DO YOU BET? |
| 427 | I BET TWO DOLLARS. |
| 428 | OKAY. |
| 429 | SEE YOUR TWO... |
| 430 | AND I RAISE YOU... |
| 431 | TWENTY. |
| 432 | WHA... |
| 433 | I'LL SEE YOUR 20... |
| 434 | RAISE YOU 25. |
| 435 | SEE YOUR 25... |
| 436 | AND, UH... MONICA, GET MY PURSE. |
| 437 | RACHEL, THERE'S NOTHING IN IT. |
| 438 | OKAY, THEN GET ME YOUR PURSE. |
| 439 | OKAY... |
| 440 | HERE YOU GO. GOOD LUCK. |
| 441 | THANK YOU. |
| 442 | I SAW YOUR 25, AND I RAISE YOU... |
| 443 | SEVEN. |
| 444 | TEEN. |
| 445 | JOEY, I'M A LITTLE SHY. |
| 446 | THAT'S OKAY, ROSS. |
| 447 | YOU CAN ASK ME. |
| 448 | WHAT DO YOU NEED? |
| 449 | FIFTEEN. |
| 450 | HERE'S TEN. |
| 451 | HERE, I GOT FIVE. |
| 452 | THANK YOU. |
| 453 | GOOD LUCK. |
| 454 | OKAY, I AM CALLING YOUR 17. |
| 455 | WHAT DO YOU GOT? |
| 456 | FULL HOUSE. |
| 457 | YOU GOT ME. |
| 458 | OH! OH! |
| 459 | ♪ DA, DA, DA, DA, DA-DA ♪ |
| 460 | ♪ DA, DA, DA, DA, DA-DA... ♪ |
| 461 | OH... |
| 462 | OH! |
| 463 | THAT'S ALL RIGHT. |
| 464 | I THOUGHT WE HAD THEM. |
| 465 | WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE THE CARDS, YOU DON'T HAVE THE CARDS |
| 466 | BUT LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS. |
| 467 | AIRPLANE. AIRPORT. |
| 468 | AIRPORT '75! AIRPORT '77! |
| 469 | AIRPORT '79! |
| 470 | BYE, BYE... BIRDIE! |
| 471 | WHAT? |
| 472 | THAT'S A BIRD? |
| 473 | THAT'S A BIRD. |
| 474 | Rachel: OKAY, IT'S MY TURN. |
| 475 | GO. |
| 476 | UH, BEAN. |
| 477 | BEAN. |
| 478 | THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING! |
| 479 | YES! |
| 480 | THAT'S IT! |
| 481 | YES! |
| 482 | THAT YOU GET? |
| 483 | THAT YOU GET? |
| 484 | |
| 1 | Okay, okay, I checked. |
| 2 | We have Earl Grey, English Breakfast |
| 3 | Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry |
| 4 | and, uh, oh, wait, there's one more. |
| 5 | Um...Lemon Soother. |
| 6 | You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? |
| 7 | Okay. |
| 8 | [theme song] |
| 9 | ♪ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ♪ |
| 10 | ♪ Your job's a joke you're broke ♪ |
| 11 | ♪ Your love life's DOA ♪ |
| 12 | ♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪ |
| 13 | ♪ When it hasn't been your day ♪ |
| 14 | ♪ Your week your month or even your year ♪ |
| 15 | ♪ But I'll be there for you ♪ |
| 16 | ♪ When the rain starts to pour ♪ |
| 17 | ♪ I'll be there for you ♪ |
| 18 | ♪ Like I've been there before ♪ |
| 19 | ♪ I'll be there for you ♪ |
| 20 | ♪ 'Cause you're there for me too ♪♪ |
| 21 | [instrumental music] |
| 22 | Mail call, Rachel Green, bunk seven. |
| 23 | Thank you. |
| 24 | Oh, cool. A free sample of coffee. |
| 25 | Oh good! 'Cause where else would we get any? |
| 26 | [chuckles] |
| 27 | Oh. Right. |
| 28 | - Oh, great. - What is it? |
| 29 | Country club newsletter. |
| 30 | My mother sends me the engagement notices |
| 31 | for inspiration. |
| 32 | Oh, my God. |
| 33 | Oh, my God, it's Barry and Mindy. |
| 34 | - Barry, who you almost-- - Barry, who I almost. |
| 35 | - And Mindy, your maid of-- - Mindy, my maid of. |
| 36 | Let me see that. |
| 37 | - Oh! - That's Mindy? |
| 38 | Wow. She is pretty. |
| 39 | Lucky. |
| 40 | To have had a friend like you. |
| 41 | Marcel. Bring me the rice. Come on. |
| 42 | Bring me the rice. Come on. Good boy. Good boy. |
| 43 | Come here, give me the rice. Thank you. Good boy. |
| 44 | Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between |
| 45 | "Bring me the" and "Pee in the." |
| 46 | "Bring me the" and.. |
| 47 | Rach? |
| 48 | - What? - Hi. |
| 49 | Oh. I'm sorry. |
| 50 | Oh. This is so stupid! |
| 51 | I mean, I gave Barry up, right? |
| 52 | - Mm. - I should be happy for them. |
| 53 | I am. I'm happy for them. |
| 54 | - Really? - No. |
| 55 | Oh. |
| 56 | Oh, I guess it would be different |
| 57 | if I were with somebody. |
| 58 | Whoa. What, uh.. |
| 59 | What happened to, uh |
| 60 | "Forget relationships! I'm done with men!" |
| 61 | The whole, uh, penis embargo? |
| 62 | Oh, I don't know. |
| 63 | I guess it's-it's not about no guys. |
| 64 | It's-it's about the right guy, you know? |
| 65 | I mean, with Barry, it was-it was safe |
| 66 | and it was easy, but there was no heat. |
| 67 | You know, with Paolo, that's all there was, was heat. |
| 68 | And I-I mean, it was just this raw, animal, sexual-- |
| 69 | Wait-wait, I, I got it. I was there. |
| 70 | Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? |
| 71 | You know, someone who's like your |
| 72 | who's like your best friend |
| 73 | but then also can make your toes curl? |
| 74 | Yes, yes. |
| 75 | Yes. Yes, I do. I really do. |
| 76 | Uh, in fact, it's funny. |
| 77 | Very often someone who you wouldn't think |
| 78 | could, could...curl your toes |
| 79 | might just be the one who, uh, who.. |
| 80 | Hi. |
| 81 | ...gets interrupted. Hi. |
| 82 | Hey, guys, how was the movie? |
| 83 | - Oh, so good. - Wonderful. |
| 84 | - Suck-fest. - Total chick-flick. |
| 85 | I'm-I'm sorry it wasn't one of those movies |
| 86 | with, like, you know, like, guns and bombs |
| 87 | and like, buses going really fast. |
| 88 | Hey, I don't need violence to enjoy a movie |
| 89 | just so long as there's a little nudity. |
| 90 | - There was nudity. - I meant female nudity. |
| 91 | Alright, I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking. |
| 92 | - Hugh! Hugh Grant! - Hugh! Hugh Grant! |
| 93 | Alright, I've gotta go. |
| 94 | Ahem. Come on, Marcel. Come on. |
| 95 | Yeah, we're gonna go take a bath. |
| 96 | Yes, we are, aren't we? Yes, we are. |
| 97 | They're still just friends, right? |
| 98 | - And I will see you tomorrow. - That's right. |
| 99 | You're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you? |
| 100 | Hang on. Hang on. |
| 101 | Does Aunt Monica get a say in this? |
| 102 | Pwease, Aunt Monica? Pwease? |
| 103 | Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be here. |
| 104 | [instrumental music] |
| 105 | (Chandler) You know, I cannot believe we're |
| 106 | even having this discussion. |
| 107 | I agree. I'm, like, in disbelief. |
| 108 | I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen |
| 109 | with Rachel, they would have happened already? |
| 110 | I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship |
| 111 | with someone exactly like me. |
| 112 | She really said that? |
| 113 | Well, I added the "Exactly like me" part.. |
| 114 | But she said she's looking for someone |
| 115 | and someone is gonna be there tonight. |
| 116 | - Tonight, tonight? - Well, I think it's perfect. |
| 117 | You know, it's just gonna be the two of us. |
| 118 | She spent all day taking care of my monkey. |
| 119 | [sighs] I can't remember the last time I got a girl |
| 120 | to take care of my monkey. |
| 121 | [laughing] |
| 122 | Anyway, you know, I figured after work |
| 123 | I'd go pick up a bottle of wine |
| 124 | go over there and, uh, try to woo her. |
| 125 | Hey, you know what you should do? |
| 126 | You should take her back to the 1890's |
| 127 | when that phrase was last used. |
| 128 | You keep this up, honey, and I swear |
| 129 | you'll be finished with this sucker by the end of the week. |
| 130 | Now, now the one in the feather boa |
| 131 | that's Dr. Francis. |
| 132 | Now, she used to be a man. |
| 133 | Okay, oh, look, see, now there's Raven, and we hate her. |
| 134 | We're glad she's dying. And that.. |
| 135 | Wha.. Wha.. Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? |
| 136 | You know you're not supposed to play.. |
| 137 | Whoa! Whoa! |
| 138 | Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? |
| 139 | Oh, Marcel, bad monkey. |
| 140 | Oh, God. |
| 141 | Oh. Oh. |
| 142 | Sorry, Barry. |
| 143 | Little engagement gift. |
| 144 | I'm sure you didn't register for that. |
| 145 | [gunshot on TV] |
| 146 | Who died? Who died? |
| 147 | Roll him over! Oh, come on, roll him over! Oh! |
| 148 | Well, we know it wasn't Dexter. Right, Marcel? |
| 149 | Because.. |
| 150 | Marcel? |
| 151 | Marcel? Marce.. |
| 152 | - How could you lose him? - I don't know, I don't know. |
| 153 | We were watching TV and then he pooped in Monica's shoe.. |
| 154 | Wait. He pooped in my shoe? |
| 155 | - Which one? - I don't know. |
| 156 | - The left one. - Which ones? |
| 157 | Oh, oh, those little clunky Amish things |
| 158 | you think go with everything. |
| 159 | - Hey. - Hi. |
| 160 | Whoa. Oh. Why is the air in here so negative? |
| 161 | - Rachel lost Marcel. - Oh, no! How? |
| 162 | - He, he pooped in my shoe. - Which one? |
| 163 | Those cute little black ones I wear all the time. |
| 164 | No. Which one? |
| 165 | The right or left? |
| 166 | 'Cause the left one is lucky. |
| 167 | Come on, you guys, what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? |
| 168 | Alright, alright, alright. You're a monkey. |
| 169 | You're loose in the city. |
| 170 | Where do you go? |
| 171 | Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do |
| 172 | some of the touristy things. |
| 173 | I'll go to Cats. You go to the Russian Tea Room. |
| 174 | Oh, my God! Come on, you guys. |
| 175 | He's gonna be home any minute. He's gonna kill me. |
| 176 | Okay, we'll start with the building. |
| 177 | You guys take the first and second floor. |
| 178 | Phoebe and I will take third and fourth. |
| 179 | Whoa-whoa-whoa! What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? |
| 180 | Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. |
| 181 | Spray Lysol in my shoe and wait for Ross to kill you. |
| 182 | Does anybody wanna trade? Oh.. |
| 183 | [instrumental music] |
| 184 | Come on. |
| 185 | [knock at door] |
| 186 | What do you want? |
| 187 | Mr. Heckles, our-our-our friend lost a monkey. |
| 188 | Have you seen it? |
| 189 | I left a Belgian waffle out here. |
| 190 | - Did you take it? - No! |
| 191 | Why would you leave your Belgian waffle in the hall? |
| 192 | - I wasn't ready for it. - The monkey. |
| 193 | Have you seen a monkey? |
| 194 | Saw a Regis Philbin once. |
| 195 | Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. |
| 196 | You owe me a waffle. |
| 197 | Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchin monkey |
| 198 | with a white face.. |
| 199 | ...with-with Russian dressing and pickles on the side. |
| 200 | Okay. Thanks. Hi. |
| 201 | Hey. How did, uh, how did it go today? |
| 202 | - Oh, great! - Yeah? |
| 203 | It went great. Really great. |
| 204 | - Hey, is that wine? - Yeah, yeah. |
| 205 | - Oh. - You, uh, you want some? |
| 206 | Oh, I would love some. |
| 207 | But you know what? You know what? |
| 208 | Let's not drink it here. |
| 209 | I'm feeling kind of crazy. |
| 210 | You wanna go to Newark? |
| 211 | Uh, okay. Yeah, uh, we could do that. |
| 212 | But before we head off to the murder capital |
| 213 | of the North-East.. |
| 214 | ...I was, uh, kind of wanting to run something by you. |
| 215 | You know how we were, uh, you know, talking before |
| 216 | about, uh, relationships and stuff. Well.. |
| 217 | Oh, God, Ross, I cannot do this. |
| 218 | Okay, quick and painful. |
| 219 | Oh, God. Okay, alright. |
| 220 | Alright, okay. |
| 221 | Ross, please don't hate me. |
| 222 | Oh, why? What? What? |
| 223 | [chuckles] |
| 224 | Uh! |
| 225 | You know Marcel? |
| 226 | Yeah? |
| 227 | Well, ahem, I, I kind of.. |
| 228 | I kind of lost him. |
| 229 | [inaudible] |
| 230 | [traffic ambience] |
| 231 | I-I-I can't, I can't believe this. |
| 232 | I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment. |
| 233 | - I know. I know. I'm sorry. - No, no. You know what? |
| 234 | I guess it's partially my fault. |
| 235 | You know, I mean, I shouldn't have asked you |
| 236 | to, uh, start off with a monkey. |
| 237 | I should have started you off with like a pen or a pencil. |
| 238 | Ross, I'm doing everything that I can. |
| 239 | I've got everybody looking for him and I.. |
| 240 | [door buzzer buzzing] |
| 241 | - Who is it? - 'Animal Control.' |
| 242 | Uh, see, I've even got Animal Control. |
| 243 | You called Animal Control? |
| 244 | Uh-huh. |
| 245 | W-why? Do you not like them? |
| 246 | [scoffs] |
| 247 | Marcel is an illegal |
| 248 | exotic animal. |
| 249 | I'm not allowed to have him in the city. |
| 250 | If they find him, they'll take him away from me. |
| 251 | Oh, okay, well, now, see |
| 252 | you never ever ever told us that. |
| 253 | That's right I, 'cause I didn't expect |
| 254 | you were gonna invite them to the apartment! |
| 255 | [knock at door] |
| 256 | Hi! Thanks for coming. |
| 257 | Somebody called about a monkey? |
| 258 | Oh, oh, yeah, you know what? |
| 259 | That was a complete misunderstanding. |
| 260 | Yeah, we-we thought we had a monkey, but we didn't. |
| 261 | It turned, turned out it was a hat. |
| 262 | - Cat! - Cat! What did I say? Cat. |
| 263 | Hi. We checked the third and fourth floor. |
| 264 | No one's seen Marcel. |
| 265 | - Marcel? - My Uncle Marcel. |
| 266 | Oh, is that who the monkey's named after? |
| 267 | Okay. Are you aware that possession of an illegal exotic |
| 268 | is, uh, punishable by up to two years in prison |
| 269 | and confiscation of the animal? |
| 270 | Oh, my God. You'd put that poor, little creature in jail? |
| 271 | Pheebs, remember how we talked about |
| 272 | saying things quietly to yourself first? |
| 273 | Yes, but there isn't always time. |
| 274 | Look, I'm sure there is some friendly way |
| 275 | to reconcile this. Um, have a seat. |
| 276 | First of all, we haven't been introduced. |
| 277 | Uh, I'm Monica Geller. |
| 278 | Oh, my God! You are! And you're Rachel Green! |
| 279 | - Yeah. - Luisa Gianetti. |
| 280 | Lincoln High? I sat behind you guys in, in home room. |
| 281 | Oh! Luisa! Oh, my God! |
| 282 | Monica, it's Luisa! |
| 283 | - The Luisa from home room! - Yes. |
| 284 | You have no idea who I am, do you? |
| 285 | - No, none at all. - None. |
| 286 | Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me. |
| 287 | I mean, would it have been so hard to say |
| 288 | "Morning, Luisa"? Or "Nice overalls"? |
| 289 | Oh, I'm-I'm so sorry. |
| 290 | Nah, it's not so much you. You were fat. |
| 291 | You had your own problems. |
| 292 | But you! What a bitch! |
| 293 | - What? - Alright. You know what? |
| 294 | Be that as it may, do you think you could just help us out here |
| 295 | on that monkey thing, you know just...for old times' sake? |
| 296 | Go Bobcats? |
| 297 | I could...but I won't. |
| 298 | If I find that monkey, he's mine. |
| 299 | ♪ Dun-dun-duuuur! ♪♪ |
| 300 | Sorry. |
| 301 | [instrumental music] |
| 302 | (Chandler) Marcel? |
| 303 | - Marcel? - Marcel? |
| 304 | Marcel? |
| 305 | [sighs] |
| 306 | [knock at door] |
| 307 | Hi, can I help you? |
| 308 | Uh, we're kind of having an emergency. |
| 309 | And we, ahem, we were looking for something. |
| 310 | - A monkey. - Yes, have you seen any? |
| 311 | No. No, I haven't seen a monkey. |
| 312 | Do you know anything about fixing radiators? |
| 313 | Sure, sure. |
| 314 | Did you, uh, did you try turning |
| 315 | the knob back the other way? |
| 316 | - Of course. - Oh, then, no. |
| 317 | Taste this daiquiri. Is there too much rum in here? |
| 318 | Just a sec. Hope you find your monkey. |
| 319 | Oh, no, wait, wait, no-no-no, wait, wait. |
| 320 | Um...we may not know anything about radiators |
| 321 | per se, but we do have a certain amount of expertise |
| 322 | in the heating and cooling...milieu. |
| 323 | Uh, aren't we kind of in the middle of somethin' here? |
| 324 | Yes, but these women are very hot and they need our help. |
| 325 | And they're very hot. |
| 326 | We can't, alright? Uh, we're sorry. |
| 327 | You...have no idea how sorry, but.. |
| 328 | ...we promised we'd find this monkey. |
| 329 | If you see him, he's about yea high |
| 330 | and answers to the name Marcel. |
| 331 | So, if we could get some pictures of you |
| 332 | you'd really be helpin' us out. |
| 333 | Okay, from now on, you don't get to talk to other people. |
| 334 | - Marcel? - Marcel! |
| 335 | - 'Marcel?' - 'Marcel?' |
| 336 | Marcel? |
| 337 | (both) Marcel? |
| 338 | - Oh, my God! - What? |
| 339 | Something just brushed up against my right leg. |
| 340 | - What is it? - Oh. |
| 341 | Oh, it's okay. It was just my left leg. |
| 342 | [screeching] |
| 343 | - Look, Phoebe! - Oh, yeah. Oh, Marcel. |
| 344 | Come here. Oh, come here, Marcel. |
| 345 | Step aside, ladies. |
| 346 | Oh, what are you gonna do? |
| 347 | Just a small tranquilizer. |
| 348 | [dramatic music] |
| 349 | (Monica) 'Run, Marcel, run!' |
| 350 | - Run, Marcel! - Damn! |
| 351 | - Are you okay? - Uh, yeah, I think so. |
| 352 | I just.. |
| 353 | Oh. |
| 354 | Huh.. |
| 355 | - Whoa. - Oh-h-h. |
| 356 | Oh, gosh. |
| 357 | [screeching] |
| 358 | - 'Marcel?' - 'Marcel?' |
| 359 | Marcel? This is ridiculous. |
| 360 | We've been all over the neighborhood. |
| 361 | He's gone. He's-he's just gone. |
| 362 | - Ross, you don't know that. - Oh, come on. |
| 363 | It's cold. It's dark. He doesn't know the village. |
| 364 | Oh.. |
| 365 | And now I have a broken foot. Oh, my.. |
| 366 | I have no monkey and a broken foot. |
| 367 | - Thank you very much. - Ross, you know? |
| 368 | I said I'm sorry like a million times. |
| 369 | What do you want me to do? Huh? What do you wanna.. |
| 370 | You want to break my foot too? Is that it? Okay, here. |
| 371 | I'm gonna break my foot. Right now, there. |
| 372 | Ow! Oh! Oh, God! |
| 373 | Oh, my God. There, are you happy now? |
| 374 | Yeah, yeah, you know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! |
| 375 | What? I don't miss Marcel anymore. |
| 376 | You know, it is not like I did this on purpose. |
| 377 | No, no, no. No, no, this is just vintage Rachel. |
| 378 | I mean, things just sort of happen around you. |
| 379 | I mean, you're off in Rachel Land |
| 380 | doin' your Rachel thing |
| 381 | totally oblivious to people's monkeys |
| 382 | or to people's feelings and.. |
| 383 | - Ross? - I don't even wanna hear it. |
| 384 | - No, you're always-- - Ross.. |
| 385 | - Oh, forget it, okay? - Ross! |
| 386 | What? What? What? |
| 387 | - Hey! - Hey! Banana man! Wait.. |
| 388 | [instrumental music] |
| 389 | [knock at door] |
| 390 | Oh, this is so intense. |
| 391 | One side of my butt is totally asleep |
| 392 | and the other side has no idea. |
| 393 | Hi. Did you order some bananas? |
| 394 | - What about it? - Give me my monkey back! |
| 395 | I don't have a monkey. |
| 396 | Then what's with all the bananas? |
| 397 | Potassium. |
| 398 | [Marcel chattering] |
| 399 | Marcel? Marcel? |
| 400 | Okay, where is he? Where is he? |
| 401 | Marcel? Marcel? |
| 402 | [all gasp] |
| 403 | Marcel! |
| 404 | - What have you done to him? - That's my monkey. |
| 405 | That's Patti. Patti the monkey. |
| 406 | Are you insane? |
| 407 | Come here, Marcel, come on. |
| 408 | Come here, Patti. |
| 409 | Come here, Marcel. |
| 410 | Come here, Patti. |
| 411 | (Luisa) Here, monkey! Here, monkey! |
| 412 | Here, monkey! |
| 413 | Gotcha! |
| 414 | - Okay, give me my monkey back. - That's my monkey. |
| 415 | You're both gonna have to take this up with the judge. |
| 416 | That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine. |
| 417 | You can send it back whenever. |
| 418 | - Alright, I want my monkey. - No! |
| 419 | - Oh, come on, Luisa. - Sorry, prom queen. |
| 420 | You had to be a bitch in high school. |
| 421 | You couldn't have been fat. |
| 422 | Alright, look, okay, in high school I was the prom queen |
| 423 | and I was the homecoming queen and the class president |
| 424 | and you...were also there. |
| 425 | Look, if you take this monkey |
| 426 | I will lose one of the most |
| 427 | important people in my life. |
| 428 | You can hate me if you want |
| 429 | but please do not punish him. |
| 430 | Come on, Luisa, you have a chance |
| 431 | to be the bigger person here. |
| 432 | Take it! |
| 433 | [inhales deeply] |
| 434 | [exhales heavily] |
| 435 | No. |
| 436 | Alright. |
| 437 | Well, then how about I call your supervisor |
| 438 | and I tell her that you shot my friend |
| 439 | in the ass with a dart? |
| 440 | [instrumental music] |
| 441 | Hey, it'll be nice to get this |
| 442 | off finally, won't it? Yes, it wi.. |
| 443 | Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine. |
| 444 | You know, with the right pair of pumps |
| 445 | that would be a great little outfit. |
| 446 | Listen, I'm.. I'm sorry I was so hard on you before. |
| 447 | - You know, I just-- - Oh, Ross, come on. |
| 448 | No, no, it was my fault. I almost lost your.. |
| 449 | No, no, yeah, but you were the one who got him back. |
| 450 | You know? You, you, you were great. |
| 451 | Hey, we, uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. |
| 452 | Are you in the mood for, uh.. |
| 453 | ...something grape? |
| 454 | - Sure, that would be good. - Alright. Uh.. |
| 455 | Oh. |
| 456 | The, uh, the neighbors must be vacuuming. |
| 457 | [clears throat] |
| 458 | Well, uh, as long as we're, uh...here |
| 459 | and, uh...not on the subject |
| 460 | um, ahem...I was thinking about, uh.. |
| 461 | [chuckles] |
| 462 | ...how mad we got at each other before. |
| 463 | Oh. |
| 464 | And, um...I was thinking maybe |
| 465 | it was partially because of how we, uh.. |
| 466 | - Rachel. - Barry! |
| 467 | I can't. I can't do it. |
| 468 | I can't marry Mindy. |
| 469 | I think I'm still in love with you. |
| 470 | - Oh! - Oh! |
| 471 | We have got to start locking that door. |
| 472 | [instrumental music] |
| 473 | This is me in "The Sound Of Music." |
| 474 | - You see the von Trapp kids? - No. |
| 475 | That's because I'm in front of them. |
| 476 | Yeah, I thought that was an alp. |
| 477 | Well, high school was not my favorite time. |
| 478 | I don't know. I-I loved high school. |
| 479 | You know, it was just, like, four years of parties |
| 480 | and dating and sex and.. |
| 481 | Yeah, well, I went to |
| 482 | boarding school with 400 boys. |
| 483 | Any sex I had would have involved |
| 484 | a major lifestyle choice. |
| 485 | Gosh, doesn't it seem like a million years ago? |
| 486 | [chuckles] |
| 487 | Oh, oh, oh! |
| 488 | Ooh! Ooh! |
| 489 | Ooh, ooh! My butt cheek is waking up! Oh! |
| 490 | [theme music] |
| 491 | |
| 1 | I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD ACTUALLY SAY THAT. |
| 2 | I WOULD MUCH RATHER BE MR. PEANUT THAN MR. SALTY. |
| 3 | NO WAY. MR. SALTY IS A SAILOR, ALL RIGHT? |
| 4 | HE'S GOT TO BE THE TOUGHEST SNACK THERE IS. |
| 5 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 6 | YOU DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH CORNNUTS. |
| 7 | THEY'RE CRAZY! |
| 8 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 9 | GUYS, YOU GOT TO COME SEE THIS. |
| 10 | THERE'S SOME CREEP OUT THERE |
| 11 | WITH A TELESCOPE. |
| 12 | ( gasps ) |
| 13 | I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. |
| 14 | HE'S LOOKING RIGHT AT US. |
| 15 | OH, THAT IS SO SICK. |
| 16 | I FEEL VIOLATED... |
| 17 | AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY. |
| 18 | WHY DO PEOPLE DO THAT? |
| 19 | ( all groaning ) |
| 20 | OH, LOOK! UGLY NAKED GUY GOT GRAVITY BOOTS! |
| 21 | ( all clamoring ) |
| 22 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 23 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 24 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 25 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 26 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 27 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 28 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 29 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 30 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 31 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 32 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 33 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 34 | I AM TELLING YOU |
| 35 | YEARS FROM NOW SCHOOL CHILDREN WILL STUDY IT |
| 36 | AS ONE OF THE GREATEST FIRST DATES OF ALL TIME. |
| 37 | IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE. |
| 38 | WE COULD TOTALLY BE OURSELVES. |
| 39 | WE DIDN'T PLAY ANY GAMES. |
| 40 | HAVE YOU CALLED HER? |
| 41 | AND LET HER KNOW I LIKE HER? |
| 42 | WHAT ARE YOU-- INSANE? |
| 43 | OH, GUYS... |
| 44 | IT'S THE NEXT DAY. |
| 45 | HOW NEEDY DO I WANT TO SEEM? |
| 46 | OH, YEAH, LET HER DANGLE. |
| 47 | OH. I CAN'T BELIEVE MY PARENTS |
| 48 | ARE ACTUALLY PRESSURING ME TO FIND ONE OF YOU PEOPLE. |
| 49 | GOD, COME ON, JUST DO IT. |
| 50 | CALL HER. |
| 51 | STOP BEING SO TESTOSTERONEY. |
| 52 | WHICH, BY THE WAY IS THE REAL SAN FRANCISCO TREAT. |
| 53 | I GOT HER MACHINE. |
| 54 | HER ANSWERING MACHINE? |
| 55 | NO, HER LEAF BLOWER PICKED UP. |
| 56 | SO WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING? |
| 57 | OH, NO, NO, NO, LAST TIME I LEFT A SPONTANEOUS MESSAGE |
| 58 | I ENDED UP USING THE PHRASE "YES INDEEDY-O." |
| 59 | LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, IT'S RACHEL AND BARRY. |
| 60 | NO, NO, NO, DON'T EVERYBODY LOOK AT ONCE. |
| 61 | OKAY, OKAY, WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 62 | OKAY, THEY'RE JUST TALKING. |
| 63 | DOES HE LOOK LIKE HE WAS JUST TOLD TO SHOVE ANYTHING? |
| 64 | NO. |
| 65 | NO, ACTUALLY, HE'S SMILING, AND... OH, MY GOD! |
| 66 | DON'T DO THAT! |
| 67 | WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?! |
| 68 | THAT MAN ACROSS THE STREET KICKED THAT PIGEON. |
| 69 | OH. |
| 70 | AND BASICALLY THAT'S HOW A BILL BECOMES A LAW. |
| 71 | HEY, RACH. |
| 72 | HI, RACH. |
| 73 | HOW'D IT GO? |
| 74 | IT WAS ACTUALLY REALLY GREAT. |
| 75 | TOOK ME TO LUNCH AT THE RUSSIAN TEA ROOM. |
| 76 | I HAD THAT CHICKEN WHERE YOU POKE IT |
| 77 | AND ALL THE BUTTER SQUIRTS OUT. |
| 78 | NOT A GOOD DAY FOR BIRDS. |
| 79 | WE TOOK A WALK DOWN TO BENDEL'S. |
| 80 | I TOLD HIM NOT TO |
| 81 | BUT HE GOT ME A LITTLE BOTTLE OF CHANEL. |
| 82 | THAT'S NICE. |
| 83 | WAS THAT BEFORE OR AFTER |
| 84 | YOU TOLD HIM TO STOP CALLING |
| 85 | STOP SENDING YOU FLOWERS |
| 86 | AND TO GENERALLY LEAVE YOU ALONE? |
| 87 | RIGHT. |
| 88 | WELL, WE NEVER ACTUALLY GOT TO THAT. |
| 89 | OH, IT WAS JUST SO NICE TO SEE HIM AGAIN, YOU KNOW? |
| 90 | IT WAS COMFORTABLE, AND IT WAS FAMILIAR. |
| 91 | IT WAS JUST NICE. |
| 92 | THAT'S... THAT'S NICE TWICE. |
| 93 | RACHEL, WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 94 | ISN'T THIS THE SAME BARRY WHO YOU LEFT AT THE ALTAR? |
| 95 | DUH. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? |
| 96 | YEAH, BUT IT WAS DIFFERENT WITH HIM TODAY |
| 97 | AND HE WASN'T LIKE... |
| 98 | "ORTHODONTIST GUY," YOU KNOW? |
| 99 | I MEAN, WE HAD FUN. |
| 100 | IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT? |
| 101 | YES! |
| 102 | WHY? |
| 103 | I HAVE MY REASONS. |
| 104 | OKAY, HOW ABOUT THE FACT |
| 105 | THAT HE'S ENGAGED TO ANOTHER WOMAN |
| 106 | WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE YOUR EX-BEST FRIEND? |
| 107 | ALL RIGHT, I KNOW IT'S STUPID. |
| 108 | I'LL GO SEE HIM THIS AFTERNOON AND PUT AN END TO IT. |
| 109 | WOW! |
| 110 | WOW. |
| 111 | YEAH. |
| 112 | I'M NOT CRAZY, RIGHT? |
| 113 | I MEAN, IT WAS NEVER LIKE THAT. |
| 114 | NO, IT WASN'T. |
| 115 | IT WAS SO NICE HAVING THIS LITTLE SINK HERE. |
| 116 | OH, DANIELLE, I WASN'T EXPECTING THE MACHINE. |
| 117 | GIVE ME A CALL WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE. |
| 118 | ( clinking ) |
| 119 | BYE-BYE. |
| 120 | OH, GOD. |
| 121 | THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON FOR THE PAST TWO HOURS? |
| 122 | I'VE BEEN HONING IT. |
| 123 | WHAT'S WITH THE DISHES? |
| 124 | I WANT HER TO THINK I MIGHT BE IN A RESTAURANT |
| 125 | I MIGHT HAVE SOME KIND OF LIFE, LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN SITTING |
| 126 | AROUND HERE HONING FOR THE LAST TWO HOURS. |
| 127 | HE'S DOING IT AGAIN-- THE GUY WITH THE TELESCOPE. |
| 128 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 129 | OH. GO AWAY! |
| 130 | STOP LOOKING IN HERE! |
| 131 | GREAT. NOW HE'S WAVING BACK. |
| 132 | WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING. |
| 133 | THIS MORNING HE LOOKED INTO OUR APARTMENT. |
| 134 | IT CREEPS ME OUT. |
| 135 | I CAN'T DO STUFF. |
| 136 | WHAT KIND OF STUFF? |
| 137 | WILL YOU GROW UP? |
| 138 | I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SEXY STUFF |
| 139 | BUT LIKE WHEN I'M COOKING NAKED. |
| 140 | YOU COOK NAKED? |
| 141 | YEAH, TOAST, OATMEAL, NOTHING THAT SPATTERS. |
| 142 | WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME FOR? |
| 143 | I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. |
| 144 | WHAT'S THE MATTER? |
| 145 | OH, I JUST... |
| 146 | BARRY, THIS WAS NOT GOOD. |
| 147 | NO, IT WAS. |
| 148 | IT WAS VERY, VERY GOOD. |
| 149 | WELL, WHAT ABOUT MINDY? |
| 150 | OH, WAY BETTER THAN MINDY. |
| 151 | NO, NOT THAT. |
| 152 | I MEAN, WHAT ABOUT YOU AND MINDY? |
| 153 | LOOK, IF YOU WANT, I'LL JUST BREAK IT OFF WITH HER. |
| 154 | NO, NO. I MEAN DON'T DO THAT. |
| 155 | I MEAN, NOT FOR ME. |
| 156 | Dr. Farber, Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment. |
| 157 | UH, THANKS, BERNICE. |
| 158 | LET'S GO AWAY THIS WEEKEND. |
| 159 | OH, BARRY, COME ON, THIS IS ALL WAY TOO... |
| 160 | WE CAN GO TO ARUBA. |
| 161 | WHEN I WENT THERE |
| 162 | ON WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN OUR HONEYMOON, IT WAS REALLY NICE. |
| 163 | YOU WOULD HAVE LIKED IT. |
| 164 | I HAD A BRA. |
| 165 | HEY, DR. FARBER. |
| 166 | ALL RIGHT, MISS GREEN, EVERYTHING LOOKS FINE. |
| 167 | I THINK WE'RE STARTING TO SEE SOME REAL PROGRESS. |
| 168 | WHAT? |
| 169 | I'M 12. |
| 170 | I'M NOT STUPID. |
| 171 | CAN I USE YOUR PHONE? |
| 172 | YEAH. BUT FOR FUTURE REFERENCE |
| 173 | THAT THING IN YOUR HAND CAN ALSO BE USED AS A PHONE. |
| 174 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 175 | ( ringing ) |
| 176 | YES, IT'S WORKING. |
| 177 | WHY ISN'T SHE CALLING ME? |
| 178 | MAYBE SHE NEVER GOT YOUR MESSAGE. |
| 179 | CALL HER MACHINE, AND IF SHE HAS A LOT OF BEEPS |
| 180 | THAT MEANS SHE DIDN'T GET HER MESSAGES YET. |
| 181 | YOU DON'T THINK THAT MAKES ME SEEM... |
| 182 | DESPERATE, NEEDY, PATHETIC? |
| 183 | AH, YOU OBVIOUSLY SAW MY PERSONAL AD. |
| 184 | HOW MANY? |
| 185 | SHE ANSWERED. |
| 186 | THIS IS WHERE YOU'D USE THAT "HELLO" WORD WE TALKED ABOUT. |
| 187 | I'M NOT GOING TO TALK TO HER. |
| 188 | SHE OBVIOUSLY GOT MY MESSAGE |
| 189 | AND IS CHOOSING NOT TO CALL ME. |
| 190 | NOW I'M NEEDY AND SNUBBED. |
| 191 | GOD, I MISS JUST BEING NEEDY. |
| 192 | All: HEY. |
| 193 | HOW'D HE TAKE IT? |
| 194 | PRETTY WELL, ACTUALLY. |
| 195 | UH, RACH? |
| 196 | HOW COME YOU HAVE DENTAL FLOSS IN YOUR HAIR? |
| 197 | OH, DO I? |
| 198 | UH-HUH. |
| 199 | WE ENDED UP HAVING SEX IN HIS CHAIR. |
| 200 | YOU HAD SEX IN HIS CHAIR?! |
| 201 | OH, I SAID THAT A LITTLE TOO LOUDLY, DIDN'T I? |
| 202 | YOU... YOU HAD WHAT? |
| 203 | SEX IN HIS CHAIR. |
| 204 | WHAT, UH, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? |
| 205 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 206 | WE STILL CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. |
| 207 | THERE'S A HISTORY THERE. |
| 208 | IT'S LIKE YOU AND CAROL. |
| 209 | NO. NO, NO. |
| 210 | IT'S NOTHING LIKE ME AND CAROL. |
| 211 | IF SHE SAID TO YOU, "ROSS, I WANT YOU |
| 212 | ON THIS COUCH, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW," WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? |
| 213 | IF IT HELPS, I COULD SLIDE OVER. |
| 214 | IT'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT SITUATION. |
| 215 | IT'S APPLES AND ORANGES. |
| 216 | IT'S ORTHODONTISTS AND LESB... |
| 217 | I GOT TO GO. |
| 218 | WHERE ARE YOU GOING? |
| 219 | I JUST HAVE TO GO! |
| 220 | DO I NEED A REASON, HUH? |
| 221 | I HAVE THINGS TO DO WITH MY LIFE. |
| 222 | I HAVE A JAM-PACKED SCHEDULE |
| 223 | AND I AM LATE FOR KEEPING UP WITH IT, OKAY? |
| 224 | ( phone ringing ) |
| 225 | HELLO? HELLO? |
| 226 | ( ringing ) |
| 227 | HELLO? |
| 228 | HI... |
| 229 | MINDY. |
| 230 | HI. HI. HOW ARE YOU? |
| 231 | YES, YES, I HEARD. |
| 232 | CONGRATULATIONS. |
| 233 | THAT IS SO GREAT. |
| 234 | REALLY? OH, GOD... |
| 235 | OKAY. |
| 236 | OKAY, WELL, I'M WORKING TOMORROW. |
| 237 | IF YOU WANT, YOU CAN COME BY |
| 238 | IF YOU'D LIKE. |
| 239 | OKAY. |
| 240 | GREAT. |
| 241 | GREAT. |
| 242 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 243 | SO, I'LL, UH... |
| 244 | I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. |
| 245 | OKAY. BYE. |
| 246 | OH, GOD. OH, GOD. OH, GOD. OH, GOD. |
| 247 | OH... |
| 248 | SO HOW'S MINDY? |
| 249 | OH, SHE WANTS TO SEE ME TOMORROW. |
| 250 | SHE SOUNDED REALLY WEIRD. |
| 251 | I GOT TO CALL BARRY. |
| 252 | HI. IT'S ME. |
| 253 | MINDY! |
| 254 | MINDY, HI! NO, I FIGURED THAT'S WHERE YOU'D BE. |
| 255 | ( imitating phone ringing ) |
| 256 | HELL IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU. |
| 257 | HE'S BACK. THE PEEPER'S BACK. |
| 258 | GET DOWN! |
| 259 | GET DOWN? |
| 260 | AND BOOGIE. |
| 261 | THANKS, BUT I GOT TO GO GET MY EYES SCRATCHED OUT BY MINDY. |
| 262 | SHE MAY NOT EVEN KNOW. |
| 263 | I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HER IN SEVEN MONTHS, AND NOW SHE CALLS. |
| 264 | WHAT ELSE IS IT ABOUT? |
| 265 | SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND, YOU GUYS. |
| 266 | WE WENT TO CAMP TOGETHER. |
| 267 | SHE TAUGHT ME HOW TO KISS. |
| 268 | YEAH? |
| 269 | NOW, I'M LIKE THE OTHER WOMAN. |
| 270 | I FEEL SO... |
| 271 | NAUGHTY. |
| 272 | I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER. |
| 273 | WHEN SHE TAUGHT YOU TO KISS AT CAMP |
| 274 | WERE YOU WEARING ANY KIND OF LITTLE UNIFORM..? |
| 275 | THAT'S FINE, YEAH. |
| 276 | I'M GOING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. |
| 277 | WILL YOU WATCH MY PHONE? |
| 278 | TAKE IT WITH YOU, |
| 279 | HEY, WE HAVEN'T BEEN ON A SECOND DATE. |
| 280 | SHE NEEDS TO HEAR ME PEE? |
| 281 | WHY DON'T YOU CALL HER? |
| 282 | I CAN'T CALL HER. |
| 283 | I LEFT A MESSAGE. |
| 284 | I HAVE SOME PRIDE. |
| 285 | DO YOU? |
| 286 | NO. |
| 287 | DANIELLE? HI. |
| 288 | HI, IT'S UH... IT'S CHANDLER. |
| 289 | I'M FINE. |
| 290 | ( clears throat ) |
| 291 | UH, LISTEN. |
| 292 | I DON'T KNOW IF YOU TRIED TO CALL ME |
| 293 | BECAUSE, IDIOT THAT I AM |
| 294 | I ACCIDENTALLY SHUT OFF MY PHONE. |
| 295 | OH, OKAY. THAT'S FINE. |
| 296 | THAT'S GREAT. |
| 297 | OKAY. |
| 298 | SHE'S ON THE OTHER LINE. |
| 299 | SHE'S GOING TO CALL ME BACK. |
| 300 | ♪ SHE'S ON THE OTHER LINE, SHE'S GONNA CALL ME BACK ♪ |
| 301 | ♪ SHE'S ON THE OTHER LINE, GONNA CALL ME BACK ♪ |
| 302 | DON'T YOU HAVE TO PEE? |
| 303 | WHY I'M DANCING. |
| 304 | MINDY. |
| 305 | HEY, YOU. |
| 306 | HEY, YOU. |
| 307 | SO WHAT'S UP? |
| 308 | UM, WE SHOULD REALLY BE SITTING FOR THIS. |
| 309 | HMM. |
| 310 | SURE WE SHOULD. |
| 311 | SO... |
| 312 | I KNOW THINGS HAVE BEEN WEIRD |
| 313 | BUT YOU'RE, LIKE, MY OLDEST FRIEND |
| 314 | EXCEPT FOR MAYBE LORI SCHAEFFER, WHO I DON'T TALK TO ANYMORE |
| 315 | 'CAUSE SHE'S ALL BITTER NOW SHE LOST THE WEIGHT |
| 316 | AND IT TURNS OUT |
| 317 | SHE DOESN'T HAVE A PRETTY FACE. |
| 318 | I'M GOING TO ASK YOU THIS ONCE, AND I WANT A STRAIGHT ANSWER. |
| 319 | OKAY. |
| 320 | ( sighs ) |
| 321 | WILL YOU BE MY MAID OF HONOR? |
| 322 | OF COURSE! |
| 323 | THAT'S SO GREAT! |
| 324 | ( both squealing ) |
| 325 | IS THAT ALL YOU WANTED? |
| 326 | THAT'S ALL! |
| 327 | ( both squealing ) |
| 328 | WHAT? |
| 329 | THAT'S NOT ALL. |
| 330 | OH, SURE IT IS! |
| 331 | OH, NO, IT ISN'T! |
| 332 | I THINK BARRY IS SEEING SOMEONE IN THE CITY. |
| 333 | OH, WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU THINK THAT? |
| 334 | EVER SINCE WE ANNOUNCED THE ENGAGEMENT |
| 335 | HE'S BEEN ACTING REALLY WEIRD |
| 336 | AND THEN LAST NIGHT HE CAME HOME |
| 337 | SMELLING LIKE CHANEL. |
| 338 | REALLY! |
| 339 | MINDY, IF IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER |
| 340 | WHEN BARRY AND I FIRST GOT ENGAGED |
| 341 | HE WENT THROUGH A WEIRD THING TOO. |
| 342 | OH, THAT'S WHAT I WAS AFRAID OF. |
| 343 | WHAT'S WHAT YOU'RE AFRAID OF? |
| 344 | OKAY, OKAY. |
| 345 | WHEN BARRY WAS ENGAGED TO YOU, HE AND I |
| 346 | KIND OF... HAD A LITTLE THING ON THE SIDE. |
| 347 | WHAT? |
| 348 | I KNOW, I KNOW. |
| 349 | WHEN HE PROPOSED, EVERYONE SAID |
| 350 | "HE'LL ONLY DO TO YOU WHAT HE DID TO RACHEL" |
| 351 | AND NOW I FEEL SO STUPID. |
| 352 | ( chuckles ) |
| 353 | HMM. |
| 354 | OH, MINDY. OH, YOU ARE SO STUPID. |
| 355 | OH, WE ARE BOTH SO STUPID. |
| 356 | WHAT DO YOU MEAN? |
| 357 | SMELL FAMILIAR? |
| 358 | OH, I'M SO SORRY. |
| 359 | OH, NO, ME. |
| 360 | I AM SO SORRY. |
| 361 | NO, I AM SORRY. |
| 362 | ( crying ) |
| 363 | OH, MY. |
| 364 | FOUR LETTERS, "CIRCLE OR HOOP." |
| 365 | RING, DAMN IT. RING! |
| 366 | THANKS. |
| 367 | HEY, YOU KNOW OUR PHONE'S NOT WORKING? |
| 368 | WHAT? |
| 369 | I TRIED CALLING YOU FROM THE COFFEE SHOP. |
| 370 | THERE WAS NO ANSWER. |
| 371 | I TURNED IT OFF. |
| 372 | MOTHER OF GOD, I TURNED IT OFF! |
| 373 | JUST LIKE YOU TOLD HER. |
| 374 | JUST POINTING OUT THE IRONY. |
| 375 | I WENT ACROSS THE STREET AND TALKED TO THE DOORMAN. |
| 376 | I GOT THE PEEPER'S NAME. |
| 377 | CAN I USE THE PHONE? |
| 378 | ( growling ) |
| 379 | CAN I USE YOUR PHONE? |
| 380 | YEAH, THE NUMBER FOR A SYDNEY MARKS, PLEASE. |
| 381 | "HEATING DEVICE." |
| 382 | RADIATOR. |
| 383 | FIVE LETTERS. |
| 384 | RDTOR. |
| 385 | YEAH, IS SYDNEY THERE? |
| 386 | OH, THIS IS? |
| 387 | SYDNEY'S A WOMAN. |
| 388 | SO SHE'S A WOMAN? SO WHAT? |
| 389 | YEAH, YEAH. SO WHAT? |
| 390 | I LIVE ACROSS THE STREET, AND I KNOW |
| 391 | ALL ABOUT YOU AND YOUR LITTLE TELESCOPE |
| 392 | AND I DON'T APPRECIATE IT, OKAY? |
| 393 | YEAH, I CAN SEE YOU RIGHT NOW. HELLO! |
| 394 | IF I WANT TO WALK AROUND MY APARTMENT IN MY UNDERWEAR |
| 395 | I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO FEEL... |
| 396 | THANK YOU. |
| 397 | THAT'S NOT REALLY THE POINT. |
| 398 | THE POINT IS THAT... |
| 399 | MOSTLY FREE WEIGHTS, BUT... |
| 400 | JOEY! |
| 401 | YEAH, MY NEIGHBOR. |
| 402 | YEAH, THE BRUNETTE. |
| 403 | SHE SAID YOU LOOKED VERY PRETTY IN THE GREEN DRESS |
| 404 | THE GREEN DRESS? |
| 405 | REALLY? |
| 406 | SHE SAID YOU LOOKED LIKE |
| 407 | INGRID BERGMAN THAT DAY. |
| 408 | NO. |
| 409 | HEY. |
| 410 | HEY. |
| 411 | GOT A SECOND? |
| 412 | SURE, SURE. |
| 413 | COME ON... |
| 414 | IN. |
| 415 | HELLO, SWEETHEART. |
| 416 | WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE? |
| 417 | WE ARE HERE TO BREAK UP WITH YOU. |
| 418 | BOTH OF YOU? |
| 419 | WE THINK YOU'RE A HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING |
| 420 | AND BAD THINGS SHOULD HAPPEN TO YOU. |
| 421 | I'M SORRY. GOD, I AM SO SORRY. |
| 422 | I'M AN IDIOT. I WAS WEAK. |
| 423 | I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. |
| 424 | WHATEVER I DID I ONLY DID BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. |
| 425 | WHICH ONE OF US ARE YOU TALKING TO THERE, BAR? |
| 426 | MINDY. |
| 427 | MINDY, OF COURSE, MINDY. |
| 428 | IT WAS ALWAYS MINDY. |
| 429 | EVEN WHEN WE WERE HAVING SEX IN THAT CHAIR? |
| 430 | I SWEAR. WHATEVER I WAS DOING, I WAS ALWAYS THINKING OF YOU. |
| 431 | OH, PLEASE. THAT SECOND TIME |
| 432 | YOU COULDN'T HAVE PICKED HER OUT OF A LINEUP. |
| 433 | YOU DID IT TWICE? |
| 434 | THE FIRST TIME DIDN'T REALLY COUNT. |
| 435 | IT WAS BARRY. |
| 436 | RIGHT. |
| 437 | HONEY, BABY, SWEETHEART, LOOK |
| 438 | JUST GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE. |
| 439 | WE'LL START OVER. |
| 440 | WE'LL GO BACK TO ARUBA. |
| 441 | WHAT DO YOU SAY? |
| 442 | Dr. Farber, we've got an emergency here. |
| 443 | Jason Costellana is choking on his retainer. |
| 444 | OH, GOD. |
| 445 | I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, BERNICE. |
| 446 | LOOK, PLEASE... PLEASE DON'T GO ANYWHERE, OKAY? |
| 447 | I-I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. |
| 448 | OKAY. |
| 449 | OKAY, AND WE'LL BE HERE, HATING YOU. |
| 450 | DID YOU SEE HOW HE WAS SWEATING? |
| 451 | LISTEN, HONEY |
| 452 | IF I'M HOGGING THE BALL |
| 453 | JUST JUMP IN AND TAKE A COUPLE OF PUNCHES |
| 454 | BECAUSE THIS FEELS GREAT. |
| 455 | YEAH. I'M PRETTY SURE I'M STILL GOING TO MARRY HIM. |
| 456 | WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? |
| 457 | MINDY, THE GUY IS THE DEVIL. |
| 458 | HE IS SATAN IN A SMOCK. |
| 459 | LOOK, I KNOW HE'S NOT PERFECT... |
| 460 | MM-HMM. |
| 461 | BUT THE TRUTH IS AT THE END OF THE DAY, I... |
| 462 | I STILL REALLY WANT TO BE "MRS. DR. BARRY FARBER... |
| 463 | D.D.S." |
| 464 | DEAR GOD. |
| 465 | I HOPE YOU CAN FIND SOME WAY TO BE HAPPY FOR ME |
| 466 | AND I HOPE YOU'LL STILL BE MY MAID OF HONOR. |
| 467 | AND I HOPE BARRY DOESN'T KILL YOU AND EAT YOU IN ARUBA. |
| 468 | YOU OKAY? |
| 469 | YEAH. |
| 470 | REALLY? |
| 471 | YEAH. |
| 472 | EVER SINCE I RAN OUT ON BARRY AT THE WEDDING |
| 473 | I HAVE WONDERED WHETHER I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE |
| 474 | AND NOW I KNOW. |
| 475 | OH, I'M SO GLAD. |
| 476 | BIG DAY. |
| 477 | I'LL GIVE YOU THIS. |
| 478 | MR. PEANUT IS A BETTER DRESSER. |
| 479 | HE'S GOT THE MONOCLE. |
| 480 | HE'S GOT THE TOP HAT. |
| 481 | DID YOU KNOW HE'S GAY? |
| 482 | I JUST WANT TO CLARIFY THIS. |
| 483 | ARE YOU OUTING MR. PEANUT? |
| 484 | CHANDLER? |
| 485 | DANIELLE, HI. |
| 486 | UH, EVERYBODY, THIS IS DANIELLE. |
| 487 | DANIELLE, EVERYBODY. |
| 488 | All: HI. |
| 489 | WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? |
| 490 | I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU |
| 491 | BUT I HAD YOUR NUMBER WRONG |
| 492 | AND WHEN I FINALLY GOT THE RIGHT ONE |
| 493 | THERE WAS NO ANSWER. |
| 494 | SO I THOUGHT I'D MAKE SURE YOU WERE OKAY. |
| 495 | OH. UH... I-I'M OKAY. |
| 496 | MAYBE WE COULD GET TOGETHER LATER? |
| 497 | THAT SOUNDS GOOD. |
| 498 | I'LL CALL YOU, OR YOU CALL ME. |
| 499 | YOU GOT IT. |
| 500 | BYE, EVERYBODY. |
| 501 | BYE. BYE. BYE. |
| 502 | WOO-HOO! THERE YOU GO. |
| 503 | SECOND DATE. |
| 504 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 505 | YOU DON'T KNOW? |
| 506 | SHE SEEMS VERY NICE |
| 507 | BUT THAT THING ABOUT HER COMING DOWN HERE |
| 508 | TO SEE IF I WAS OKAY? |
| 509 | HOW NEEDY IS THAT? |
| 510 | [Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation] |
| 511 | |
| 1 | HOW COULD SOMEONE GET |
| 2 | YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER? |
| 3 | LOOK HOW MUCH THEY SPENT. |
| 4 | THE CREDIT CARD PEOPLE SAID |
| 5 | YOU ONLY HAVE TO PAY FOR THE STUFF YOU BOUGHT. |
| 6 | STILL... IT'S JUST SUCH RECKLESS SPENDING. |
| 7 | I THINK WHEN SOMEBODY STEALS YOUR CREDIT CARD |
| 8 | THEY'VE ALREADY THROWN CAUTION TO THE WIND. |
| 9 | WOW, WHAT A GEEK. |
| 10 | THEY SPENT 69.95 ON A WONDER MOP. |
| 11 | THAT'S ME. |
| 12 | OH, YUCK. |
| 13 | ROSS, HE'S DOING IT AGAIN. |
| 14 | MARCEL, STOP HUMPING THE LAMP. |
| 15 | STOP HUMPING. |
| 16 | NOW, MARCEL, COME BACK... COME HERE, MARCEL. |
| 17 | NO, NO. NOT IN MY ROOM. |
| 18 | I'LL GET HIM. |
| 19 | YOU'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING |
| 20 | ABOUT THE HUMPING. |
| 21 | WHAT? IT'S JUST A PHASE. |
| 22 | WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE SAID ABOUT JOEY. |
| 23 | WOULD YOU ALL RELAX? |
| 24 | IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL. |
| 25 | Rachel: MARCEL, STOP IT! BAD MONKEY! |
| 26 | WHAT? |
| 27 | LET'S JUST SAY MY CURIOUS GEORGE DOLL IS |
| 28 | NO LONGER CURIOUS. |
| 29 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 30 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 31 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 32 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 33 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY, YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH ♪ |
| 34 | ♪ OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 35 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 36 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 37 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 39 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 40 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 41 | MONICA, YOU ARE NOT STILL GOING OVER THAT THING? |
| 42 | THIS WOMAN'S LIVING MY LIFE. |
| 43 | WHAT? |
| 44 | SHE'S LIVING MY LIFE |
| 45 | AND SHE'S DOING IT BETTER THAN ME. |
| 46 | LOOK AT THIS. |
| 47 | LOOK. SHE BUYS TICKETS TO PLAYS THAT I WANT TO SEE. |
| 48 | SHE BUYS CLOTHES AT STORES |
| 49 | THAT I'M INTIMIDATED BY THE SALES PEOPLE. |
| 50 | SHE SPENT $300 ON ART SUPPLIES. |
| 51 | YOU'RE NOT AN ARTIST. |
| 52 | WELL, I MIGHT BE IF I HAD THE SUPPLIES. |
| 53 | I MEAN, I COULD DO ALL THIS STUFF |
| 54 | ONLY I DON'T. |
| 55 | MONICA, COME ON. |
| 56 | YOU DO COOL THINGS. |
| 57 | OH, REALLY? OKAY. |
| 58 | LET'S COMPARE, SHALL WE? |
| 59 | OH, IT'S SO LATE FOR "SHALL WE." |
| 60 | DO I GO HORSEBACK RIDING IN THE PARK? HMM? |
| 61 | DO I TAKE CLASSES AT THE NEW SCHOOL? |
| 62 | NO. |
| 63 | THIS IS SO UNFAIR. |
| 64 | SHE'S GOT EVERYTHING I WANT AND SHE DOESN'T HAVE MY MOTHER. |
| 65 | HOW 'BOUT "JOEY PEPPONI"? |
| 66 | NO. STILL TOO ETHNIC. |
| 67 | MY AGENT THINKS |
| 68 | I SHOULD HAVE A NAME THAT'S MORE NEUTRAL. |
| 69 | "JOEY.... SWITZERLAND?" |
| 70 | PLUS, YOU KNOW, I THINK IT SHOULD BE "JOE." |
| 71 | "JOEY" MAKES ME SOUND LIKE I'M... |
| 72 | I DON'T KNOW-- THIS BIG. |
| 73 | WHICH I'M NOT. |
| 74 | JOE, JOE, JOE... STALIN? |
| 75 | "STALIN... STALIN." |
| 76 | DO I KNOW THAT NAME? |
| 77 | THAT SOUND FAMILIAR. |
| 78 | WELL, IT DOES NOT RING A BELL WITH ME. |
| 79 | JOE STALIN. |
| 80 | YOU KNOW THAT'S PRETTY GOOD. |
| 81 | YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRY "JOSEPH." |
| 82 | OH! |
| 83 | JOSEPH STALIN. |
| 84 | I THINK YOU'D |
| 85 | REMEMBER THAT. |
| 86 | OH, YES. |
| 87 | " BYE BYE BIRDIE, STARRING JOSEPH STALIN." |
| 88 | "JOSEPH STALIN IS THE FIDDLER ON THE ROOF." |
| 89 | HEY. |
| 90 | HEY. |
| 91 | HI. |
| 92 | HI, UH, YES. THIS IS MONICA GELLER. |
| 93 | UM, I BELIEVE I'M TAKING SOME CLASSES WITH YOU |
| 94 | AND I WAS WONDERING |
| 95 | WHAT THEY WERE. |
| 96 | WHAT ARE YOU DOING? |
| 97 | ALL RIGHT. GREAT. |
| 98 | GREAT. THANKS A LOT. |
| 99 | I'M GOING TO TAP CLASS. |
| 100 | SO YOU CAN DANCE WITH THE WOMAN THAT STOLE YOUR CREDIT CARD. |
| 101 | I SHOULD GET TO SEE WHO SHE IS. |
| 102 | GO TO THE POST OFFICE. |
| 103 | I'M SURE |
| 104 | HER PICTURE'S UP. |
| 105 | YOU'RE LOSING IT, HERE. |
| 106 | THIS IS REALLY BECOMING |
| 107 | LIKE, A WEIRD OBSESSION THING. |
| 108 | THIS IS MADNESS. IT'S MADNESS, I TELL YOU! |
| 109 | FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MONICA |
| 110 | DON'T DO IT! |
| 111 | THANK YOU. |
| 112 | WHAT DO YOU THINK? |
| 113 | LOTS OF THINGS. |
| 114 | WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK SHE IS? |
| 115 | MAY I HELP YOU? |
| 116 | NO, THANKS. WE'RE JUST HERE TO OBSERVE. |
| 117 | YOU DON'T OBSERVE A DANCE CLASS. |
| 118 | YOU DANCE A DANCE CLASS. |
| 119 | SPARE SHOES ARE OVER THERE. |
| 120 | WHAT DOES SHE MEAN? |
| 121 | I THINK SHE MEANS YOU DANCE... A DANCE CLASS. |
| 122 | COME ON. COME ON. |
| 123 | OKAY. YOU SEE ANYBODY YOU THINK COULD BE ME? |
| 124 | LAST TIME, THERE WERE SOME EMPTY YOGURT CONTAINERS |
| 125 | LYING AROUND AFTER CLASS. |
| 126 | LET'S NOT HAVE THAT HAPPEN AGAIN. |
| 127 | SHE COULD BE YOU. |
| 128 | LET'S GET STARTED. |
| 129 | FIVE, SIX... |
| 130 | A-FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT-- |
| 131 | OKAY. I'M NOT GETTING THIS. |
| 132 | I'M TOTALLY GETTING IT. |
| 133 | DO YOU EVER JUST FEEL LIKE SOMETIMES YOU ARE |
| 134 | SO UNBELIEVABLY UNCOORDINATED? |
| 135 | WHAT? |
| 136 | YOU JUST CLICK WHEN THEY CLICK. |
| 137 | ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE. |
| 138 | NOW EVERYONE GRAB A PARTNER. |
| 139 | OH... UM, ALL RIGHT. |
| 140 | AND MY DEAD MOTHER SAID YOU ARE IT. |
| 141 | I'M WITH RACHEL. |
| 142 | WAIT. IT'S GYM CLASS ALL OVER AGAIN. |
| 143 | OH... OH... |
| 144 | YOU CAN COME UP TO THE FRONT |
| 145 | AND DANCE WITH ME. |
| 146 | WHY DON'T I JUST TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES |
| 147 | AND HAVE A NIGHTMARE? |
| 148 | IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. |
| 149 | I'M HERE. I'M HERE. |
| 150 | I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE. |
| 151 | HERE I AM. |
| 152 | SO, WHO'S THE NEW TENSE GIRL? |
| 153 | SHE'S YOUR PARTNER. |
| 154 | HI. I'M MONICA. |
| 155 | OH... MONICA. |
| 156 | HI. I'M MON... NANA. |
| 157 | MONANA? |
| 158 | YES. |
| 159 | IT'S DUTCH. |
| 160 | I SPENT THREE YEARS IN AMSTERDAM. |
| 161 | MAG IK DEZE DANS VAN U? |
| 162 | UM, PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH. |
| 163 | OH. |
| 164 | AND WE'RE DANCING. |
| 165 | A-FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT-- |
| 166 | HI. |
| 167 | HEY. HEY. |
| 168 | WHERE'VE YOU BEEN? |
| 169 | I JUST GOT BACK FROM THE VET. |
| 170 | SHE'S NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU WEAR |
| 171 | ONE OF THOSE BIG PLASTIC CONES, IS SHE? |
| 172 | SHE SAYS MARCEL'S HUMPING THING'S NOT A PHASE. |
| 173 | APPARENTLY, HE'S REACHED SEXUAL MATURITY. |
| 174 | HEY, HE BEAT YOU. |
| 175 | SHE SAYS AS TIME GOES ON |
| 176 | HE'S GOING TO START GETTING AGGRESSIVE AND VIOLENT. |
| 177 | SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? |
| 178 | I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE HIM UP. |
| 179 | I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, ROSS. |
| 180 | THIS SUCKS! |
| 181 | YOU JUST GOT HIM. |
| 182 | HOW COULD HE BE AN ADULT ALREADY? |
| 183 | I KNOW, I KNOW. |
| 184 | I MEAN, ONE DAY HE'S THIS LITTLE THING |
| 185 | AND THEN BEFORE YOU KNOW IT |
| 186 | HE'S THIS LITTLE THING I CAN'T GET OFF MY LEG. |
| 187 | ISN'T THERE ANY WAY YOU CAN KEEP HIM? |
| 188 | NO. NO, THE VET SAID THAT UNLESS HE'S IN A PLACE |
| 189 | WHERE HE HAS REGULAR ACCESS TO SOME... |
| 190 | MONKEY LOVIN'... |
| 191 | HE'S JUST GOING TO GET VICIOUS. |
| 192 | I'VE... I'VE JUST GOT TO GET HIM INTO A ZOO. |
| 193 | HOW DO YOU GET A MONKEY INTO A ZOO? |
| 194 | I KNOW |
| 195 | THAT ONE. |
| 196 | NO, THAT'S "POPES INTO A VOLKSWAGEN." |
| 197 | WE'RE APPLYING TO A LOT OF THEM. |
| 198 | NATURALLY, OUR FIRST CHOICE |
| 199 | WOULD BE ONE OF THE BIGGER STATE ZOOS-- |
| 200 | YOU KNOW, LIKE SAN DIEGO. |
| 201 | OH... RIGHT? |
| 202 | BUT THAT MAY BE JUST A PIPE DREAM |
| 203 | BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, HE'S OUT OF STATE. |
| 204 | UH, MY VET KNOWS SOMEONE AT MIAMI |
| 205 | SO THAT'S A POSSIBILITY. |
| 206 | YEAH, BUT THAT'S, LIKE, TWO BLOCKS AWAY FROM THE BEACH. |
| 207 | I MEAN, IT'S A TOTAL PARTY ZOO. |
| 208 | HEY. WE FOUND HER, WE FOUND THE GIRL. |
| 209 | DID YOU CALL THE COPS? |
| 210 | NOPE. WE TOOK HER TO LUNCH. |
| 211 | AH, YOUR OWN BRAND OF VIGILANTE JUSTICE. |
| 212 | ARE YOU INSANE? |
| 213 | THIS WOMAN STOLE FROM YOU! |
| 214 | SHE... SHE STOLE! SHE'S A STEALER! |
| 215 | YOU KNOW WHAT? AFTER YOU'RE WITH THIS WOMAN FOR TEN MINUTES |
| 216 | YOU FORGET ALL THAT. |
| 217 | I MEAN, SHE'S THIS ASTOUNDING PERSON |
| 218 | WITH THIS AMAZING SPIRIT. |
| 219 | YEAH, WHICH SHE PROBABLY STOLE FROM SOME CHEERLEADER. |
| 220 | "TAKE OFF THEIR HATS." |
| 221 | "POPES IN |
| 222 | A VOLKSWAGEN." |
| 223 | I LOVE THAT JOKE. |
| 224 | NO WAY... NO WAY DID YOU DO THIS. |
| 225 | MONANA WAS VERY BRAVE. |
| 226 | IT WAS SO WILD. |
| 227 | WE TOLD THEM WE WERE THE GUNDERSONS IN ROOM 615 |
| 228 | ONLY TO FIND OUT THE BOSTON CELTICS |
| 229 | HAD TAKEN OVER THE ENTIRE SIXTH FLOOR. |
| 230 | WHEN THEY CAUGHT ON TO THE FACT |
| 231 | THAT WE'RE... SHORT AND HAVE BREASTS... |
| 232 | THEY THREW US OUT. |
| 233 | I WAS THROWN OUT OF A HOTEL-- ME! |
| 234 | GO, MONANA! |
| 235 | WELL, YOU LADIES ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES LIVING THE DREAM. |
| 236 | I GET TO GO POUR COFFEE FOR PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW. |
| 237 | DON'T WAIT UP. |
| 238 | OH... TOMORROW, WE'RE AUDITIONING FOR A BROADWAY SHOW. |
| 239 | EXCUSE ME? |
| 240 | THERE'S AN OPEN CALL FOR CATS. |
| 241 | I'M THINKING WE GO DOWN THERE, SING "MEMORIES" |
| 242 | AND MAKE COMPLETE FOOLS OF OURSELVES. |
| 243 | WHAT DO YOU SAY? |
| 244 | NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. |
| 245 | REMEMBER WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH HERE. |
| 246 | I'M NOT LIKE YOU. |
| 247 | I CAN'T EVEN STAND IN FRONT OF A TAP CLASS. |
| 248 | THAT'S JUST PROBABLY 'CAUSE |
| 249 | OF YOUR AMISH BACKGROUND. |
| 250 | WHAT? |
| 251 | YOU'RE PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH, RIGHT? |
| 252 | RIGHT... TILL I BOUGHT A BLOW DRYER |
| 253 | AND THEN I WAS SHUNNED. |
| 254 | I USED TO BE JUST LIKE YOU |
| 255 | AND THEN ONE DAY I SAW A MOVIE THAT CHANGED MY LIFE. |
| 256 | DID YOU EVER SEE DEAD POETS SOCIETY? |
| 257 | UH-HUH. |
| 258 | I THOUGHT THAT MOVIE WAS SO INCREDIBLY... BORING. |
| 259 | I MEAN, THAT THING |
| 260 | WHERE THE KID KILLS HIMSELF |
| 261 | BECAUSE HE CAN'T BE IN THE PLAY? |
| 262 | WHAT WAS THAT? |
| 263 | IT'S LIKE, "KID, WAIT A YEAR, LEAVE HOME. |
| 264 | DO SOME COMMUNITY THEATER." |
| 265 | I WALKED OUT OF THERE AND I THOUGHT |
| 266 | "NOW, THAT'S TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE |
| 267 | THAT I'M NEVER GETTING BACK." |
| 268 | AND THAT THOUGHT SCARED ME MORE THAN ALL THE OTHER CRAP |
| 269 | I WAS AFRAID TO DO. |
| 270 | WOW. THEN I WOULD DEFINITELY |
| 271 | NOT RECOMMEND MRS. DOUBTFIRE. |
| 272 | ( sighs ) |
| 273 | OH, GOD. |
| 274 | WE DIDN'T GET INTO SCRANTON. |
| 275 | THAT WAS, LIKE, OUR SAFETY ZOO. |
| 276 | THEY TAKE, LIKE, DOGS AND COWS. |
| 277 | SEE? I DON'T KNOW WHO THIS IS HARDER ON-- |
| 278 | ME OR HIM. |
| 279 | I'D SAY THAT CHAIR'S TAKING THE BRUNT OF IT. |
| 280 | Ross: MARCEL! MARCEL! |
| 281 | MARCEL, NO! |
| 282 | GOOD BOY. |
| 283 | SEE? HOW CAN NOBODY WANT HIM? |
| 284 | OH, SOMEBODY WILL. |
| 285 | YOU KNOW THERE ALREADY IS A JOSEPH STALIN? |
| 286 | YOU'RE KIDDING. |
| 287 | APPARENTLY, HE WAS THIS RUSSIAN DICTATOR |
| 288 | WHO SLAUGHTERED ALL THESE PEOPLE. |
| 289 | YOU'D THINK YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT. |
| 290 | YOU'D THINK I WOULD'VE. |
| 291 | PHOEBE, WHAT DO YOU THINK |
| 292 | A GOOD STAGE NAME FOR ME WOULD BE? |
| 293 | FLAME-BOY. |
| 294 | WHERE EXACTLY IS YOUR ZOO? |
| 295 | WELL, IT'S TECHNICALLY NOT A ZOO, PER SE. |
| 296 | IT'S MORE OF AN INTERACTIVE WILDLIFE EXPERIENCE. |
| 297 | LET ME ASK YOU |
| 298 | SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT-- IS IT "MARCEL"? |
| 299 | YES. |
| 300 | DOES HE, UH, FIGHT WITH OTHER ANIMALS? |
| 301 | NO, NO. HE'S VERY DOCILE. |
| 302 | MMM. EVEN IF HE WERE... CORNERED? |
| 303 | WELL, I DON'T KNOW. WHY? |
| 304 | UM... HOW IS HE AT HANDLING SMALL OBJECTS? |
| 305 | HE CAN HOLD A BANANA, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN. |
| 306 | WHAT ABOUT A HAMMER OR A SMALL BLADE? |
| 307 | WHY... WHY... WHY... WHY WOULD HE NEED A BLADE? |
| 308 | IF HE'S UP AGAINST A JUNGLE CAT |
| 309 | OR AN ANIMAL WITH HORNS |
| 310 | YOU GOT TO GIVE THE LITTLE GUY |
| 311 | SOMETHING. |
| 312 | OTHERWISE, IT'S JUST CRUEL. |
| 313 | Both: HE GOT INTO SAN DIEGO. |
| 314 | WHAT? |
| 315 | WE CAME BACK FROM OUR WALK. |
| 316 | THE PHONE WAS RINGING. |
| 317 | HE'S IN! |
| 318 | AH, DID YOU HEAR THAT, MARCEL? |
| 319 | OH! SAN DIEGO! SAN DIEGO! |
| 320 | YOU'RE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE. |
| 321 | SAN DIEGO'S ALL WELL AND GOOD, BUT IF YOU GIVE HIM TO ME |
| 322 | I'LL START HIM OFF AGAINST A BLIND RABBIT AND GIVE HIM |
| 323 | 20% OF THE GATE. |
| 324 | ♪ YO HO! ♪ |
| 325 | WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? |
| 326 | MONICA AND I JUST CRASHED AN EMBASSY PARTY. |
| 327 | ARE YOU DRUNK? |
| 328 | NO! |
| 329 | ( whispering ): I'M LYING. I AM SO DRUNK... |
| 330 | OH, GOD. |
| 331 | GREAT, MONICA. YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 332 | YOU COULD HAVE CALLED. |
| 333 | I'VE BEEN WORRIED... |
| 334 | MONICA! |
| 335 | MONICA? |
| 336 | AH... |
| 337 | WATER RULES! |
| 338 | YES, YES, IT DOES. |
| 339 | OKAY, LOOK. THE RESTAURANT CALLED AGAIN TODAY. |
| 340 | THEY WANT TO KNOW IF YOU'LL BE SHOWING UP FOR WORK? |
| 341 | NOPE. I'M GOING TO THE BIG APPLE CIRCUS TODAY. |
| 342 | WHAT ARE YOU DOING? |
| 343 | YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE YOUR JOB. |
| 344 | THIS IS NOT YOU. |
| 345 | NO, IT IS ME. |
| 346 | I'M NOT JUST THE PERSON WHO NEEDS TO FLUFF THE PILLOWS |
| 347 | AND PAY THE BILLS AS SOON AS THEY COME IN. |
| 348 | YOU KNOW, WHEN I'M WITH HER, I AM SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. |
| 349 | I'M... |
| 350 | I'M MONANA. |
| 351 | ( phone rings ) |
| 352 | HELLO? |
| 353 | YES, SHE IS. |
| 354 | HOLD ON A SECOND, PLEASE. |
| 355 | "MONANA..." IT'S FOR YOU. |
| 356 | THE CREDIT CARD PEOPLE. |
| 357 | HELLO. |
| 358 | YES? |
| 359 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 360 | THANKS. |
| 361 | WHAT? |
| 362 | THEY'VE ARRESTED MONICA. |
| 363 | HI. |
| 364 | HEY. |
| 365 | HOW ARE YOU? |
| 366 | NOT TOO BAD. |
| 367 | FORTUNATELY, BLUE'S MY COLOR. |
| 368 | HOW DID YOU KNOW |
| 369 | I WAS HERE? |
| 370 | BECAUSE... I'M MONICA GELLER. |
| 371 | IT WAS MY CREDIT CARD YOU WERE USING. |
| 372 | THAT, I WAS NOT EXPECTING. |
| 373 | I WANT YOU TO KNOW IT WASN'T ME |
| 374 | WHO TURNED YOU IN. |
| 375 | OH... THANKS. |
| 376 | NO... THANK YOU. |
| 377 | YOU HAVE GIVEN ME SO MUCH. |
| 378 | IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU |
| 379 | I WOULD HAVE NEVER GOTTEN TO SING "MEMORIES" ON THE STAGE |
| 380 | AT THE WINTERGARDEN THEATER. |
| 381 | WELL, ACTUALLY, YOU ONLY GOT |
| 382 | TO SING "MEMO..." |
| 383 | I CAN'T BELIEVE |
| 384 | YOU'RE IN HERE. |
| 385 | WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHOUT YOU? |
| 386 | WHO'S GOING TO CRASH THE EMBASSY PARTIES WITH ME |
| 387 | OR TAKE ME TO THE BIG APPLE CIRCUS? |
| 388 | MONICA, I STARTED MY DAY |
| 389 | BY PEEING IN FRONT OF 25 OTHER WOMEN |
| 390 | AND YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT WHO'S GOING TO TAKE YOU |
| 391 | TO THE BIG APPLE CIRCUS? |
| 392 | WELL, NOT WORRIED... YOU KNOW, JUST WONDERING. |
| 393 | THERE'S NOTHING TO WONDER ABOUT, MONICA. |
| 394 | YOU'LL GO BACK TO BEING WHO YOU WERE |
| 395 | BECAUSE THAT'S WHO YOU ARE. |
| 396 | NOT NECESSARILY. |
| 397 | YES, NECESSARILY. |
| 398 | I DON'T KNOW... MAYBE IT'S THE AMISH THING. |
| 399 | UM... I'M NOT ACTUALLY AMISH. |
| 400 | REALLY? THEN WHY ARE YOU LIKE THAT? |
| 401 | YOU BY THE DOOR, IN OR OUT? |
| 402 | IN. |
| 403 | YOU IN THE BACK, YOU'RE GETTING IT WRONG. |
| 404 | BUT AT LEAST I'M DOING IT. |
| 405 | OKAY, GOOD-BYE, LITTLE MONKEY GUY. |
| 406 | I WROTE YOU THIS POEM. |
| 407 | OH... |
| 408 | BUT DON'T EAT IT TILL YOU GET ON THE PLANE. |
| 409 | "THANK YOU, AUNT PHOEBE." |
| 410 | OH... |
| 411 | OKAY, BYE, CHAMP. |
| 412 | NOW, I KNOW THERE'S GOING TO BE A LOT OF BABES IN SAN DIEGO |
| 413 | BUT REMEMBER, THERE'S ALSO A LOT TO LEARN. |
| 414 | I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, ROSS. |
| 415 | IT'S A MONKEY. |
| 416 | SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, JOEY. |
| 417 | MARCEL, I'M HUNGRY. |
| 418 | THAT WAS GOOD. |
| 419 | MARCEL, THIS IS FOR YOU. |
| 420 | IT'S, UH... |
| 421 | JUST, YOU KNOW, SOMETHING TO, UH... DO ON THE PLANE. |
| 422 | IF YOU GUYS DON'T MIND, I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT-- |
| 423 | JUST ME AND HIM. |
| 424 | SURE. GO AHEAD. |
| 425 | OH! UH... |
| 426 | MARCEL, COME HERE, COME HERE. |
| 427 | COME HERE. |
| 428 | WELL, BUDDY... THIS IS IT. |
| 429 | THERE'S JUST A COUPLE OF THINGS I WANTED TO SAY. |
| 430 | I'M REALLY GOING TO MISS YOU |
| 431 | AND I'M NEVER GOING TO FORGET ABOUT YOU. |
| 432 | YOU'VE BEEN MORE THAN JUST A PET TO ME. |
| 433 | YOU'VE BEEN... YOU'VE BEEN... |
| 434 | MORE LIKE A... |
| 435 | MARCEL, WOULD YOU LEAVE ME ALONE? |
| 436 | WOULD YOU JUST STOP HUMPING ME FOR TWO SECONDS? |
| 437 | WOULD YOU..? JUST TAKE HIM AWAY. |
| 438 | JUST TAKE HIM. |
| 439 | OH, THAT I WERE A GLOVE UPON THAT HAND |
| 440 | THAT I MIGHT... TOUCH THY CHEEK. |
| 441 | THAT'S FINE. THANK YOU. |
| 442 | NEXT. |
| 443 | HI. I'LL BE READING |
| 444 | FOR THE ROLE OF MERCUTIO. |
| 445 | NAME? |
| 446 | HOLDEN McGROIN. |
| 447 | |
| 1 | TELL HIM! |
| 2 | SHUT UP. |
| 3 | TELL ME WHAT? |
| 4 | YOU WON'T EVEN LOOK AT HIM. |
| 5 | COME ON, TELL ME. |
| 6 | I COULD USE ANOTHER REASON WHY WOMEN WON'T LOOK AT ME. |
| 7 | Rachel: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. |
| 8 | LAST NIGHT, I HAD A DREAM THAT, UM, YOU AND I WERE, UH... |
| 9 | DOING IT ON THIS TABLE. |
| 10 | WOW! |
| 11 | EXCELLENT DREAM SCORE. |
| 12 | WHY, WHY... WHY WOULD YOU DREAM THAT? |
| 13 | MORE IMPORTANTLY: |
| 14 | WAS I ANY GOOD? |
| 15 | WELL, YOU WERE PRETTY DAMN "ANY GOOD." |
| 16 | INTERESTING, 'CAUSE IN MY DREAMS |
| 17 | I'M SURPRISINGLY INADEQUATE. |
| 18 | WELL, LAST NIGHT, YOU SEEMED TO KNOW YOUR WAY |
| 19 | AROUND THE TABLE. |
| 20 | ( forced chuckle ) |
| 21 | I LOVE IT WHEN WE SHARE. |
| 22 | YOU OKAY THERE? |
| 23 | I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TWO HAD SEX IN HER DREAM. |
| 24 | WELL, I'M SORRY. IT WAS A ONE-TIME THING. |
| 25 | I WAS VERY DRUNK |
| 26 | AND IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE'S SUBCONSCIOUS. |
| 27 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 28 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 29 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 30 | ♪ IT FEELS LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 31 | ♪ WHEN IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 32 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 33 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 34 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 35 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 36 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 37 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 39 | HELLO, RACHEL. |
| 40 | GET OFF. |
| 41 | OOH! GIVE ME. |
| 42 | CAN YOU SEE ME OPERATING A DRILL PRESS? |
| 43 | I DON'T KNOW. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? |
| 44 | PHEEBS, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO OPERATE A DRILL PRESS? |
| 45 | JUST FOR SOME SHORT-TERM WORK. |
| 46 | TILL I GET BACK SOME OF MY MASSAGE CLIENTS. |
| 47 | PIRATES AGAIN? |
| 48 | NO. NOTHING LIKE THAT. |
| 49 | I'M JUST... SUCH A DUMMY. |
| 50 | I TAUGHT THIS "MASSAGE YOURSELF AT HOME" WORKSHOP. |
| 51 | AND THEY ARE. |
| 52 | HEY, HEY, CHAN-- SHE COULD WORK FOR YOU. |
| 53 | THANKS, JOEY. THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. |
| 54 | I COULD. I COULD DO IT! |
| 55 | WHAT IS IT? |
| 56 | MY SECRETARY WILL BE OUT FOR A COUPLE WEEKS. |
| 57 | SHE'S HAVING ONE OF HER BOOBS REDUCED. |
| 58 | IT'S A WHOLE BIG BOOB STORY. |
| 59 | I COULD BE A SECRETARY. |
| 60 | PHEEBS, I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S YOUR KIND OF THING |
| 61 | BECAUSE IT INVOLVES A LOT OF BEING NORMAL... |
| 62 | FOR A LARGE PORTION OF THE DAY. |
| 63 | I COULD DO THAT. |
| 64 | WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING WITH? |
| 65 | IT'S MY NEW BEEPER. |
| 66 | WHY DOES A PALEONTOLOGIST NEED A BEEPER? |
| 67 | IS IT FOR DINOSAUR EMERGENCIES? |
| 68 | "HELP! COME QUICK! THEY'RE STILL EXTINCT!" |
| 69 | NO. IT'S FOR WHEN CAROL GOES INTO LABOR. |
| 70 | SHE CAN GET ME WHEREVER I AM. |
| 71 | ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS DIAL 55-JIMBO. |
| 72 | A COOL PHONE NUMBER AND A POSSIBLE NAME FOR THE KID. |
| 73 | SEE YOU GUYS LATER. |
| 74 | OFF TO SEE YOUNG ETHAN? |
| 75 | THANK YOU. |
| 76 | HOW YOUNG IS YOUNG ETHAN? YOUNG? |
| 77 | HE'S... OUR AGE. |
| 78 | WHEN WE WERE..? |
| 79 | OKAY. HE'S A SENIOR IN COLLEGE. |
| 80 | COLLEGE? WHOA. |
| 81 | AND THIS MAN-CHILD HAS NO PROBLEM |
| 82 | WITH HOW OLD YOU ARE? |
| 83 | NO. OF COURSE NOT. |
| 84 | IT'S NOT EVEN AN ISSUE. |
| 85 | 'CAUSE I TOLD HIM I WAS 22. |
| 86 | WHAT? |
| 87 | OH, I CAN'T PASS FOR 22? |
| 88 | MAYBE 25, 26. |
| 89 | I AM 26. |
| 90 | THERE YOU GO. |
| 91 | ( phone ringing ) |
| 92 | ( phone still ringing ) |
| 93 | CAN YOU HEAR THAT? |
| 94 | YEAH. |
| 95 | YOU SEE, THAT'LL STOP |
| 96 | WHEN YOU PICK UP THE PHONE. |
| 97 | OH! |
| 98 | OOH! I'M ON. |
| 99 | OKAY. |
| 100 | ( even voice: ) MR. BING'S OFFICE. |
| 101 | NO, I'M SORRY. |
| 102 | HE'S IN A MEETING RIGHT NOW. |
| 103 | I'M NOT IN A MEETING. |
| 104 | WILL HE KNOW WHAT THIS IS IN REFERENCE TO? |
| 105 | AND HE HAS YOUR NUMBER? |
| 106 | I'LL SEE THAT HE GETS THE MESSAGE. |
| 107 | BYE-BYE. |
| 108 | WHA... |
| 109 | ROSS SAYS HI. |
| 110 | AH. |
| 111 | THIS IS SO FUN. |
| 112 | WHAT DO WE DO NOW? |
| 113 | WELL, NOW, I ACTUALLY HAVE TO GET TO WORK. |
| 114 | "MOST LIKELY." |
| 115 | ( dry chuckling ) |
| 116 | OKAY. I'M GOING TO BE OUT THERE. |
| 117 | OKAY. |
| 118 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 119 | BYE-BYE. |
| 120 | BYE-BYE. |
| 121 | ( intercom beeps ) |
| 122 | YES? |
| 123 | Phoebe: What you doin'? |
| 124 | OKAY, WINDOWS ARE CLEAN. |
| 125 | CANDLES ARE LIT. |
| 126 | BELT'S TOO TIGHT. |
| 127 | GOT TO CHANGE THE BELT. |
| 128 | DID I TURN THE FISH? |
| 129 | NOPE. 'CAUSE I MADE LASAGNA. |
| 130 | AM I OUT OF CONTROL? |
| 131 | JUST A TOUCH. |
| 132 | MON, I DON'T UNDERSTAND. |
| 133 | YOU'VE BEEN DATING THIS GUY |
| 134 | SINCE LIKE, WHAT, HIS MIDTERMS. |
| 135 | WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN |
| 136 | ARE YOU SO... |
| 137 | OHHH. |
| 138 | WHAT? |
| 139 | COULD TONIGHT BE THE NIGHT? |
| 140 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 141 | LOOK, HE'S A GREAT GUY. |
| 142 | I LOVE BEING WITH HIM |
| 143 | BUT, YOU KNOW, THINGS HAPPEN WHEN THEY HAPPEN. |
| 144 | YOU DON'T PLAN THESE THINGS. |
| 145 | OH. SO DID YOU SHAVE YOUR LEGS? |
| 146 | YEAH. |
| 147 | UH-HUH. |
| 148 | WOULD YOU LET IT GO, ROSS? |
| 149 | IT WAS JUST A DREAM. |
| 150 | IT DOESN'T MEAN... |
| 151 | ( beeping ) |
| 152 | OOH-HOO! |
| 153 | OOH, THIS IS IT! |
| 154 | OH, MY GOD! IT'S BABY TIME! |
| 155 | RELAX. BE COOL. BE COOL. |
| 156 | YEAH, HI. I WAS JUST BEEPED. |
| 157 | NO. ANDRE IS NOT HERE. |
| 158 | THIRD TIME TODAY. |
| 159 | YES, I AM SURE. |
| 160 | NO, SIR, I DO NOT PERFORM THOSE KIND OF SERVICES. |
| 161 | SERVICES? |
| 162 | OOH. SERVICES. |
| 163 | YEAH, YOU WANT 55-JUMBO. |
| 164 | YEP. |
| 165 | THAT'S RIGHT. |
| 166 | THAT'S RIGHT. JUMBO WITH A "U," SIR. |
| 167 | NO. BELIEVE ME, YOU DON'T WANT ME. |
| 168 | JUDGING BY HIS NUMBER, I'D BE A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT. |
| 169 | ALL RIGHTY. BYE-BYE. |
| 170 | IT'S ALL RIGHT. |
| 171 | Joey: HEY, HEY! HOW WAS THE FIRST DAY? |
| 172 | OH. EXCELLENT. |
| 173 | EVERYONE WAS SO, SO NICE. |
| 174 | SEE? IT PAYS TO KNOW THE MAN WHO WEARS MY SHOES. |
| 175 | ME. OH. |
| 176 | NO, I DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY THAT I KNEW YOU. |
| 177 | WHY NOT? |
| 178 | WELL, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW... |
| 179 | THEY DON'T LIKE YOU. |
| 180 | WHAT? |
| 181 | I THOUGHT YOU KNEW. |
| 182 | NUH-UH. |
| 183 | WHO DOESN'T LIKE ME? |
| 184 | EVERYONE. |
| 185 | EXCEPT FOR, UM... |
| 186 | NO. EVERYONE. |
| 187 | WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? |
| 188 | DON'T FEEL BAD. |
| 189 | THEY USED TO LIKE YOU A LOT. |
| 190 | BUT THEN YOU GOT PROMOTED, AND NOW |
| 191 | YOU'RE LIKE MR. BOSS MAN. |
| 192 | YOU KNOW, MR. BING. BOSS MAN BING. |
| 193 | I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. |
| 194 | YEAH, YEAH. THEY EVEN DO YOU. |
| 195 | THEY DO ME? |
| 196 | YOU KNOW, LIKE, UM... OKAY. |
| 197 | "COULD THAT REPORT BE ANY LATER?" |
| 198 | ( both laughing ) |
| 199 | I DON'T SOUND LIKE THAT. |
| 200 | YEAH, YOU DO. |
| 201 | "THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND... |
| 202 | OF MUSIC." |
| 203 | MY SCONE! |
| 204 | Both: MY SCONE! |
| 205 | I DON'T SOUND LIKE THAT. |
| 206 | THAT IS SO NOT TRUE. |
| 207 | THAT IS SO NOT... |
| 208 | THAT IS SO NO... |
| 209 | THAT... |
| 210 | OH, SHUT UP! |
| 211 | YOU DID NOT. |
| 212 | YES. UP UNTIL I WAS NINE |
| 213 | I THOUGHT GUNPOINT WAS AN ACTUAL PLACE |
| 214 | WHERE CRIMES HAPPEN. |
| 215 | HOW IS THAT? |
| 216 | IT'S ALWAYS ON THE NEWS: |
| 217 | "A MAN IS BEING HELD UP AT GUNPOINT." |
| 218 | "TOURISTS ARE BEING TERRORIZED AT GUNPOINT." |
| 219 | AND I JUST KEPT THINKING |
| 220 | "WHY DO PEOPLE CONTINUE TO GO THERE?" |
| 221 | OH, AH... I SHOULD GO. |
| 222 | OKAY. |
| 223 | OKAY. |
| 224 | UNLESS... |
| 225 | WHAT? |
| 226 | UH, UH, UNLESS YOU WANT TO STAY OVER. |
| 227 | I MEAN, I'M GOING TO, SO... |
| 228 | YEAH. I'D REALLY LIKE THAT. |
| 229 | ( both moaning ) |
| 230 | UH... |
| 231 | BEFORE WE GET INTO ANY STAYING-OVER STUFF |
| 232 | THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW. |
| 233 | OKAY. |
| 234 | IS THIS LIKE |
| 235 | "I HAVE AN EARLY CLASS TOMORROW," |
| 236 | OR, "I'M SECRETLY MARRIED TO A GOAT"? |
| 237 | WELL, IT'S SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN. |
| 238 | YOU SEE, IN A STRICTLY TECHNICAL SENSE, OF COURSE |
| 239 | I'M NOT, UH... |
| 240 | WELL, I MEAN, I HAVEN'T EVER, UM... |
| 241 | ETHAN? YEAH? |
| 242 | ARE YOU A VIRGIN? |
| 243 | WELL... IF THAT'S WHAT YOU KIDS |
| 244 | ARE CALLING IT THESE DAYS |
| 245 | THEN, YES, I AM. |
| 246 | I, UH, I'VE KIND OF BEEN WAITING |
| 247 | FOR THE RIGHT PERSON. |
| 248 | REALLY? YEAH. |
| 249 | YOU DO KNOW |
| 250 | I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU, RIGHT? |
| 251 | WOW! |
| 252 | YOU KEEP SAYING THAT. |
| 253 | YOU KNOW, YOU READ ABOUT IT. |
| 254 | YOU SEE IT IN THE MOVIES |
| 255 | EVEN WHEN YOU PRACTICE IT AT HOME |
| 256 | MAN, OH, MAN... |
| 257 | IT IS NOTHING LIKE THAT. |
| 258 | OH! |
| 259 | LISTEN. |
| 260 | LISTEN. |
| 261 | UM, YOU TOLD ME SOMETHING |
| 262 | THAT WAS REALLY DIFFICULT FOR YOU |
| 263 | AND I FIGURE IF YOU CAN BE HONEST |
| 264 | THEN I CAN TOO. |
| 265 | OH, GOD! DON'T SAY I DID IT WRONG. |
| 266 | NO, NO, NO. |
| 267 | NOTHING WRONG ABOUT THAT. |
| 268 | OH. |
| 269 | UM, OKAY. HERE GOES. |
| 270 | I'M NOT 22. |
| 271 | I'M, I'M 25... |
| 272 | AND 13 MONTHS. |
| 273 | HUH. |
| 274 | BUT I FIGURE |
| 275 | THAT SHOULDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING. |
| 276 | WHAT DOES IT MATTER HOW OLD WE ARE? |
| 277 | UH, LISTEN, UM... |
| 278 | AS LONG AS WE'RE TELLING STUFF, UH... |
| 279 | I HAVE ANOTHER ONE FOR YOU. |
| 280 | I'M A LITTLE |
| 281 | YOUNGER THAN I SAID. |
| 282 | YOU'RE NOT A SENIOR? |
| 283 | OH, I'M A SENIOR... |
| 284 | IN HIGH SCHOOL. |
| 285 | O-KAY. |
| 286 | WHAT WE DID WAS WRONG. |
| 287 | OH, GOD. |
| 288 | I JUST HAD SEX |
| 289 | WITH SOMEONE WHO WASN'T ALIVE |
| 290 | DURING THE BICENTENNIAL. |
| 291 | I JUST HAD SEX. |
| 292 | ETHAN, FOCUS. |
| 293 | HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME? |
| 294 | YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW OLD YOU WERE. |
| 295 | WELL, THAT'S DIFFERENT. |
| 296 | MY LIE DIDN'T MAKE ONE OF US A FELON IN 48 STATES. |
| 297 | WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? |
| 298 | I WASN'T. I WAS TOO BUSY FALLING... |
| 299 | DON'T SAY IT. |
| 300 | IN LOVE WITH YOU. |
| 301 | REALLY? |
| 302 | SORRY. |
| 303 | WELL, FALL OUT OF IT. |
| 304 | YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE. |
| 305 | IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT. |
| 306 | OH, GOD. OH, GOD. |
| 307 | I'M LIKE THOSE WOMEN THAT YOU SEE |
| 308 | WITH SHINY GUYS NAMED CHAD. |
| 309 | I'M JOAN COLLINS. |
| 310 | WHO? |
| 311 | OKAY, ANDRE SHOULD BE THERE IN ABOUT 45 MINUTES. |
| 312 | ALL RIGHTY. BYE-BYE. |
| 313 | UH... IT'S JUST EASIER THAT WAY. |
| 314 | OH, COME ON. |
| 315 | YOU TOLD ME ABOUT THE LAST DREAM. |
| 316 | NO! FORGET IT. |
| 317 | WHY NOT? WAS I DOING SOMETHING PARTICULARLY... |
| 318 | SAUCY? |
| 319 | ALL RIGHT, FINE. |
| 320 | UM... |
| 321 | WELL, YOU WERE NOT THE ONLY ONE THERE. |
| 322 | JOEY WAS THERE TOO. |
| 323 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 324 | WAS THERE, UH..? |
| 325 | ( chuckling ) |
| 326 | ANYBODY... ANYBODY ELSE THERE? |
| 327 | NO. |
| 328 | YOU SURE? |
| 329 | NOBODY HANDING OUT MINTS OR ANYTHING? |
| 330 | NO. IT WAS JUST THE THREE OF US. |
| 331 | OH. |
| 332 | SO, WAS IT LIKE YOU AND CHANDLER |
| 333 | AND THEN YOU AND ME |
| 334 | OR YOU AND ME AND CHANDLER? |
| 335 | ( laughs ) |
| 336 | YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 337 | WHAT? |
| 338 | THERE WERE TIMES... |
| 339 | WHEN IT WASN'T EVEN ME. |
| 340 | OOH... OOH... |
| 341 | ( both laugh knowingly ) |
| 342 | THAT IS SO SWEET, YOU GUYS. |
| 343 | MON... |
| 344 | HEY. |
| 345 | MON, ETHAN CALLED AGAIN. |
| 346 | MON? |
| 347 | All: MON! |
| 348 | WHAT? |
| 349 | ETHAN CALLED AGAIN. |
| 350 | OH. |
| 351 | YOU'RE NOT SEEING HIM ANYMORE? |
| 352 | NO. |
| 353 | YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES THINGS DON'T WORK OUT. |
| 354 | AND THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT |
| 355 | THAT HE NEEDS A NOTE TO GET OUT OF GYM? |
| 356 | I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. |
| 357 | I DID NOT SAY ANYTHING. |
| 358 | I SWEAR. |
| 359 | HE STOPPED BY. |
| 360 | Joey: NEXT TIME YOU TALK TO HIM |
| 361 | ASK HIM WHICH ONE THE STRONGEST POWER RANGER IS. |
| 362 | OH, YEAH. |
| 363 | ( feigns laughter ) |
| 364 | OH, MY LIFE IS JUST SO AMUSING. |
| 365 | CAN WE DROP IT NOW? |
| 366 | SURE. SORRY. |
| 367 | IT'S MORPHIN TIME! |
| 368 | STEGOSAURUS! |
| 369 | TYRANNOSAURUS! |
| 370 | ( guys grunting ) |
| 371 | OOH, OH, I GOT TO GO. |
| 372 | WHOA. OOH, HEAD RUSH. |
| 373 | OH. |
| 374 | ONE MORE AND THEN I HAVE TO GO. |
| 375 | COOL. |
| 376 | WHERE YOU GOING? |
| 377 | OH, I GOT A BIRTHDAY PARTY WITH SOME WORK PEOPLE. |
| 378 | WORK PEOPLE? |
| 379 | NOBODY TOLD ME. |
| 380 | NO, I KNOW. |
| 381 | THAT'S PART OF THE WHOLE |
| 382 | THEM-NOT-LIKING-YOU EXTRAVAGANZA. |
| 383 | YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T GET THIS. |
| 384 | A MONTH AGO THESE PEOPLE WERE MY FRIENDS. |
| 385 | JUST BECAUSE I'M IN CHARGE |
| 386 | DOESN'T MEAN I'M A DIFFERENT PERSON. |
| 387 | THEN YOU SHOULD COME TONIGHT. |
| 388 | LET THEM SEE WHAT A GREAT GUY YOU STILL ARE. |
| 389 | YOU THINK SO? |
| 390 | I REALLY DO. YEAH. |
| 391 | OKAY. |
| 392 | OKAY. |
| 393 | OH, BUT COULD WE NOT GO TOGETHER? |
| 394 | I DON'T WANT TO BE THE GEEK WHO INVITED THE BOSS. |
| 395 | Chandler: AND I THINK LAST NIGHT WAS GREAT |
| 396 | YOU KNOW, THE KARAOKE THING |
| 397 | TRACY AND I DOING "EBONY AND IVORY." |
| 398 | YOU WERE GREAT, BUT THEY STILL MADE FUN OF YOU. |
| 399 | WHAT? |
| 400 | YOU KNOW, NOW YOU'RE MORE LIKE MR. CARING BOSS-- |
| 401 | MR. I'M-ONE-OF-YOU BOSS |
| 402 | MR. I-WANT-TO-BE-YOUR-BUDDY BOSS-MAN BING. |
| 403 | THEN I DON'T GET IT. |
| 404 | WELL... YOU KNOW WHAT, CHANDLER |
| 405 | I THINK YOU JUST GOT TO FACE IT. |
| 406 | YOU'RE LIKE THE GUY IN THE BIG OFFICE. |
| 407 | YOU'RE THE ONE THAT HIRES THEM AND FIRES THEM. |
| 408 | THEY SAY YOU'RE A GREAT BOSS. |
| 409 | THEY DO? |
| 410 | UH-HUH, BUT THEY'RE NOT |
| 411 | YOUR FRIENDS ANYMORE. |
| 412 | BUT I JUST WANT TO... |
| 413 | BUT YOU CAN'T. |
| 414 | BUT I JUST WANT... |
| 415 | NUH-UH. |
| 416 | ( beeping ) |
| 417 | OH, GOD... |
| 418 | AREN'T YOU GOING TO..? |
| 419 | CAROL AND I HAVE A NEW SYSTEM. |
| 420 | IF SHE PUNCHES IN 911 IT MEANS SHE'S HAVING A BABY. |
| 421 | OTHERWISE, I JUST IGNORE IT. |
| 422 | WHAT ABOUT ANDRE? |
| 423 | WELL, THIS MORNING HE GOT A CALL |
| 424 | FROM WHAT I THINK WAS OUR COUSIN NATHAN |
| 425 | AND FRANKLY, IT WAS A LITTLE MORE |
| 426 | THAN I NEEDED TO KNOW. |
| 427 | HEY. |
| 428 | THAT WAS GOING TO BE MY OPENING. |
| 429 | HEY, DID YOU GUYS CHECK OUT |
| 430 | THOSE NEW HAND DRYERS IN THE BATHROOM? |
| 431 | I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A RUMOR. |
| 432 | TRUE STORY. |
| 433 | I GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. |
| 434 | I'M NOT 17. |
| 435 | I ONLY SAID THAT |
| 436 | SO YOU'D THINK I WAS CUTE AND VULNERABLE. |
| 437 | I'M ACTUALLY 30. |
| 438 | I HAVE A WIFE, A JOB. |
| 439 | I'M YOUR CONGRESSMAN. |
| 440 | MONICA, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. |
| 441 | WE ARE GREAT TOGETHER. |
| 442 | WE CAN TALK, WE MAKE EACH OTHER LAUGH |
| 443 | AND THE SEX... |
| 444 | OKAY. I HAVE NO FRAME OF REFERENCE |
| 445 | BUT I THOUGHT THAT WAS GREAT. |
| 446 | IT WAS. |
| 447 | WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? |
| 448 | THEN IT'S, UM... |
| 449 | IT'S ICKY. |
| 450 | ICKY? |
| 451 | YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO THROW THIS AWAY |
| 452 | BECAUSE IT'S ICKY? |
| 453 | LOOK, THIS ISN'T EASY FOR ME EITHER. |
| 454 | I WISH THINGS WERE DIFFERENT. |
| 455 | IF YOU WERE A FEW YEARS OLDER |
| 456 | OR I WAS A FEW YEARS YOUNGER OR... |
| 457 | WE LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES... |
| 458 | I-- I COULD REALLY... |
| 459 | NO, DON'T SAY IT. |
| 460 | LOVE YOU. |
| 461 | ARE YOUR HANDS STILL WET? |
| 462 | MOIST. |
| 463 | LET'S DRY THEM AGAIN. |
| 464 | I'M LIKE, "CAN THESE MARGARITAS BE ANY STRONGER?" |
| 465 | HEY, CHANDLER. |
| 466 | HELLO, MR. BING. |
| 467 | LOVED YOUR STEVIE WONDER LAST NIGHT. |
| 468 | THANKS. LISTEN, ABOUT THE WEEKLY NUMBERS |
| 469 | I'M GOING TO NEED THEM ON MY DESK BY 9:00. |
| 470 | SURE. |
| 471 | NO PROBLEM. |
| 472 | YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM SOMETHING, YOU KNOW. |
| 473 | THAT WAS GERSTON, SANTOS... |
| 474 | WHO'S THE GUY WITH THE MOUSTACHE? |
| 475 | PEETRIE. PEETRIE. |
| 476 | RIGHT. SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE WORKING... |
| 477 | THIS WEEKEND. |
| 478 | ( moaning ) |
| 479 | OH, THAT'S NICE. |
| 480 | OHH... |
| 481 | OH. |
| 482 | OH, ROSS! |
| 483 | ROSS? |
| 484 | I'M HERE. |
| 485 | YOU ARE? |
| 486 | UM... |
| 487 | WE WERE, UM... |
| 488 | WE WERE... JUST... |
| 489 | WOW. |
| 490 | WHAT? |
| 491 | ( beeping ) |
| 492 | GREAT. NOW I'M HAVING A BABY. |
| 493 | WHAT?! |
| 494 | WHOA! |
| 495 | WHAT?! |
| 496 | I'M HAVING A BABY! |
| 497 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 498 | THE PHONE, THE PHONE! |
| 499 | I DON'T HAVE THE PHONE. |
| 500 | ( yells ) |
| 501 | ROSS? |
| 502 | I'M HURT. |
| 503 | MONICA, LET'S GO! |
| 504 | COME ON! WOMAN IN LABOR. |
| 505 | LOOK WHAT I GOT GOING HERE. |
| 506 | SAVE IT FOR THE CAB. |
| 507 | WHAT ARE YOU DOING? |
| 508 | WE'RE GOING TO A HOSPITAL. |
| 509 | I CAN'T LOOK NICE? |
| 510 | THERE'S DOCTORS THERE. |
| 511 | JOEY, GET OUT OF THE FRIDGE. |
| 512 | ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. |
| 513 | WHAT IS THAT? |
| 514 | FOR THE RIDE. |
| 515 | YEAH, LIKE IN A CAB... |
| 516 | SAVE IT! OKAY. HATING THIS. |
| 517 | MONICA, COME ON, NOW! LET'S GO! |
| 518 | BABY COMING. |
| 519 | I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. |
| 520 | I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNT. |
| 521 | I'M GOING TO HAVE A NEPHEW. |
| 522 | OH, THAT'S NICE. |
| 523 | GET OUT. |
| 524 | LET'S GO. COME ON. |
| 525 | ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I'M GOING. |
| 526 | HERE WE GO. |
| 527 | ROSSY... |
| 528 | COME ON. |
| 529 | COME ON. |
| 530 | COME ON, ROSSY. |
| 531 | ROSSY, COME ON. |
| 532 | |
| 1 | She's not here yet. She's not here. |
| 2 | She's having my baby and she's not here. |
| 3 | I'm sure everything's fine. Has her water broken yet? |
| 4 | I don't know, but when I spoke to her |
| 5 | she said she'd already passed the mucus plug. |
| 6 | [gagging] |
| 7 | Do we have to know about that? |
| 8 | Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby? |
| 9 | I'm gonna be in the waiting room, handing out cigars. |
| 10 | Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby |
| 11 | in a movie from the '50s. |
| 12 | I don't believe this. |
| 13 | I mean, she could be giving birth in the cab. |
| 14 | Oh, Ross, relax, it's probably like |
| 15 | two dollars for the first contraction |
| 16 | and then 50 cents for each additional contract.. |
| 17 | What, it's okay when Chandler does it? |
| 18 | You have to pick your moments. |
| 19 | Hi. Did I miss it? Did I miss it? |
| 20 | - No, she's not even here yet. - What's with the guitar? |
| 21 | Well, I just thought we might be here for a while |
| 22 | so you know, things might get musical. |
| 23 | Oh, my God! Where the hell have you been? |
| 24 | - We stopped at the gift shop. - The gift.. |
| 25 | I was looking at stuffed animals and Susan wanted a Chunky. |
| 26 | Oh, Susan wanted a Chunky. |
| 27 | You're having a baby. Okay? A baby. |
| 28 | You don't stop for Chunkies! |
| 29 | I used to have that bumper sticker. |
| 30 | You see what I mean? |
| 31 | [theme music] |
| 32 | ♪ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ♪ |
| 33 | ♪ Your job's a joke you're broke |
| 34 | ♪ You're love life's DOA ♪ |
| 35 | ♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪ |
| 36 | ♪ Well it hasn't been your day your week your month |
| 37 | ♪ Or even your year ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ But I'll be there for you ♪ |
| 39 | ♪ When the rain starts to pour ♪ |
| 40 | ♪ I'll be there for you ♪ |
| 41 | ♪ Like I've been there before ♪ |
| 42 | ♪ I'll be there for you ♪ |
| 43 | ♪ 'Cause you're there for me too ♪♪ |
| 44 | (Ross) 'Stopped for a Chunky.' |
| 45 | Let it go, Ross. |
| 46 | I got an extra one. You want this? |
| 47 | No. |
| 48 | Hey! How's my favorite parenting team doing? |
| 49 | Dr. Franzblau. Hi. |
| 50 | So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby. |
| 51 | Well! I see you're nine months pregnant. |
| 52 | That's a good start. |
| 53 | How are you doing with your contractions? |
| 54 | Oh, I love them. |
| 55 | Each one's like a little party in my uterus. |
| 56 | They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds. |
| 57 | 59 seconds. Quartz. Ha! |
| 58 | Swiss quartz. Ha-ha! |
| 59 | Am I allowed to drink anything? |
| 60 | Ice chips. Just ice chips. |
| 61 | - They're the nurse's station. - Oh, I'll get it! |
| 62 | - No, I'm getting it. - No, I got it. Be right back. |
| 63 | I'm getting it. I'm getting it. |
| 64 | Hi. Thought you might like some ice chips. |
| 65 | Thanks. |
| 66 | And if you need anything else.. |
| 67 | I do not believe we have met. Hi. |
| 68 | I'm Rachel Greene. |
| 69 | I'm Carol's ex-husband's sister's roommate. |
| 70 | It's nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. |
| 71 | I'm your roommate's brother's ex-wife's obstetrician. |
| 72 | [laughing] |
| 73 | Oh, that's funny. |
| 74 | [instrumental music] |
| 75 | - I want a baby. - Hmm. |
| 76 | Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow. |
| 77 | Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee. |
| 78 | Oh, okay, because we never do that. |
| 79 | Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot! |
| 80 | Or just fall down. That's good too. |
| 81 | - Knick fan? - Oh, yeah. |
| 82 | - Oh, boy, do they suck. - Hey, listen, lady.. |
| 83 | Whoa. |
| 84 | Look. Look at your man, Ewing. Nice shot. |
| 85 | You know what, he couldn't hit water |
| 86 | if he was standing on a boat. |
| 87 | - Oh, yeah? And who do you like? - Celtics. |
| 88 | Celtics? Ha! They couldn't hit a boat if.. |
| 89 | Wait.. |
| 90 | They suck, alright? |
| 91 | Shut up. You know, it's a rebuilding year.. |
| 92 | [gasps] Whoa! |
| 93 | Whoa! Uh, let me get the father. |
| 94 | Hey! We need, we need a father over here! |
| 95 | - Uh, we need a father! - There's no father. |
| 96 | - Oh! Oh, oh, sorry. - That's okay. I'm fine. |
| 97 | I'm, oh! |
| 98 | - I'm.. - Oh! Okay. Right this way. |
| 99 | All the other pregnant women seem to be going in here. |
| 100 | [guitar music] |
| 101 | ♪ They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch ♪ |
| 102 | ♪ But soon they'll grow up And resent you so much ♪ |
| 103 | ♪ Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why ♪ |
| 104 | ♪ And you cry and you cry and you cry ♪ |
| 105 | ♪ And you cry and you cry and you cry ♪♪ |
| 106 | - Thanks, Ross. - Yeah. I'm paying you to stop. |
| 107 | - Okay? - Okay. |
| 108 | (Monica) 'Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.' |
| 109 | No fair! I don't even have one. |
| 110 | How come they get two? |
| 111 | - You'll get one. - Oh, yeah? When? |
| 112 | (Chandler) 'Alright, I'll tell you what.' |
| 113 | When we're 40, if neither of us are married |
| 114 | what do you say you and I get together and have one? |
| 115 | Why won't I be married when I'm 40? |
| 116 | Oh, oh, no. I just meant hypothetically. |
| 117 | Okay, hypothetically |
| 118 | why won't I be married when I'm 40? |
| 119 | - No. No, no. - No, no, what is it? Seriously. |
| 120 | Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me? |
| 121 | - Uh, uh-- - Well? |
| 122 | Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack. |
| 123 | - Hey. - Hey. |
| 124 | Ooh! Look at you, dressy-dress. |
| 125 | Did you go home and change? |
| 126 | Uh, well, it's an important day. I want to look nice. |
| 127 | Um, has Dr. Franzblau been by? |
| 128 | No, I haven't seen him. |
| 129 | Well, here is he? He is supposed to be here. |
| 130 | What if the baby needs him? |
| 131 | Rachel, what's the deal with you and doctors anyway? |
| 132 | Is like your father a doctor? |
| 133 | Yeah, why? |
| 134 | No reason. |
| 135 | Mom, we've been through this. |
| 136 | No, I am not calling him. |
| 137 | I don't care if it is his kid. The guy's a jerk. |
| 138 | No, I am not alone. Joey's here. |
| 139 | What do you mean, "Joey who?" |
| 140 | - Joey who? - Tribbiani. |
| 141 | Joey Tribbiani. |
| 142 | Yes. Okay. |
| 143 | Hold on. She wants to talk to you. |
| 144 | Take the phone! |
| 145 | Hi. Yeah, it's me. |
| 146 | No, no, no. We're just friends. |
| 147 | Yeah, I'm single. |
| 148 | Twenty-five. |
| 149 | An actor. Hello? |
| 150 | She's not much of a phone person. |
| 151 | Yeah. So, uh, so, uh.. |
| 152 | What's the deal with this father guy? |
| 153 | I mean, If someone was having my baby somewhere |
| 154 | I'd wanna know about it, you know? |
| 155 | Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? |
| 156 | Uh, no. |
| 157 | Okay, uh.. |
| 158 | - Look, maybe I should just go. - Maybe you should. |
| 159 | Good luck. And, uh, take care, huh? |
| 160 | [sighs] |
| 161 | Know what the Celtics' problem is? |
| 162 | They let the players run the team. |
| 163 | - Oh, that is so not true! - Oh, it is. |
| 164 | - It is. - It isn't. |
| 165 | - Breathe. - Breathe. |
| 166 | - Breathe. - Breathe. |
| 167 | - Breathe. - Breathe. |
| 168 | You're gonna kill me! |
| 169 | Fifteen more seconds, 14, 13, 12-- |
| 170 | - Count faster! - It's gonna be okay! |
| 171 | Just remember, we're doing it for Jordy. |
| 172 | Just keep focusing on Jordy. |
| 173 | - Who the hell is Jordy? - Your son. |
| 174 | Whoa, whoa, I don't have a son named Jordy. |
| 175 | We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie. |
| 176 | Well, Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend |
| 177 | so we went back to Jordy. |
| 178 | Whoa, whoa, whoa! What do you mean, "Back to Jordy?" |
| 179 | We never landed on Jordy. |
| 180 | We-we just passed by it during the whole Jesse |
| 181 | Cody, Dillon fiasco. |
| 182 | - Ow! Ow! Ow! - What? What? What? |
| 183 | - Leg cramp, leg cramp. - Okay, I got it. |
| 184 | - I got it! - I got it |
| 185 | - I'm doing it. - I got it! Hey! |
| 186 | You get to sleep with her! I get the cramps! |
| 187 | No, you don't! |
| 188 | Alright, that is it. I want both of you out! |
| 189 | - What? She started it.. - He started it.. |
| 190 | I don't care! |
| 191 | I'm trying to get a person out of my body here |
| 192 | and you're not making it any easier. |
| 193 | Now go! |
| 194 | - Thanks a lot. - See what you did? |
| 195 | - Yeah. Listen-- - Out! |
| 196 | Breathe, breathe, breathe. |
| 197 | Oh, no. |
| 198 | Ugh! What is that? |
| 199 | Something exploded! |
| 200 | It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will ya? |
| 201 | Water breaking? What do you mean? |
| 202 | What's that, water breaking? |
| 203 | Breathe, breathe, breathe. |
| 204 | Oh, please. This is so your fault. |
| 205 | How? How is this my fault? |
| 206 | Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along. |
| 207 | Yeah, well, there's a lot of things |
| 208 | Carol never did before I came along. |
| 209 | Are you trying to be clever? |
| 210 | You know what your problem is? You are so threatened by me! |
| 211 | [indistinct chattering] |
| 212 | That's it! Get in here, come on. |
| 213 | My God! You guys. |
| 214 | I don't believe you. |
| 215 | There are children coming into the world |
| 216 | in this very building and your negative fighting noises |
| 217 | are not the first thing they should be hearing. |
| 218 | So just stop all the yelling! Just stop it! |
| 219 | Yeah, Susan. |
| 220 | Don't make me do this again. I don't like my voice like this. |
| 221 | Okay, who wants to hear something ironic? |
| 222 | (in unison) Help! |
| 223 | - I'm having a baby here. - Help! |
| 224 | Hello! |
| 225 | - Help! - Okay, everyone stand back. |
| 226 | Ow! |
| 227 | Are they here yet? |
| 228 | No, honey, they're not but don't worry, we're gonna find them. |
| 229 | and until we do, we are all here for you, okay? |
| 230 | - Okay. - Okay. Okay. |
| 231 | Okay, so you were telling me about Paris. |
| 232 | It sounds wonderful. |
| 233 | There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. |
| 234 | - Oh! Oh! - There you go, dear. |
| 235 | Come on, Lydia, you can do it! Push! |
| 236 | Push him out, push him out. Harder, harder! |
| 237 | Push him out, push him out. Way out! |
| 238 | Let's get that ball and really move! Hey, hey! |
| 239 | Ho, ho! Let's get.. |
| 240 | I was just.. |
| 241 | Yeah, okay. Push. |
| 242 | Push! Push! |
| 243 | What are you gonna do? Suck the door open? |
| 244 | Help! Help! |
| 245 | - Help. - Help! |
| 246 | ♪ And they found their bodies the very next day ♪ |
| 247 | ♪ And they found their bodies the very next.. ♪ |
| 248 | ♪ La la la ♪♪ |
| 249 | - Help! - Help! |
| 250 | Mom, everything's going fine, really. |
| 251 | Yeah. Ross is great. He's uh.. |
| 252 | He's in a whole other place. |
| 253 | No. He's gone. |
| 254 | No, no, No, you don't have to fly back really. |
| 255 | What do you mean, "This might be your only chance?" |
| 256 | Would you stop? I'm only 26. |
| 257 | [baby cooing] I'm not even thinking about babies yet. |
| 258 | [imitating static] |
| 259 | Where have you been? |
| 260 | Oh, I just had a baby. |
| 261 | Mazel tov! |
| 262 | I don't know, it could be an hour, could be three |
| 263 | but relax, she's doing great. |
| 264 | So, uh, tell me, are you currently involved with anyone? |
| 265 | No! No, not at the moment. No, I'm not. No. |
| 266 | - Are you in.. - No, no. |
| 267 | It's hard enough to get women to go out with me. |
| 268 | [chuckles] Right, yeah. Heard that about cute doctors. |
| 269 | No, no, really, I suppose it's because I spend so much time |
| 270 | you know...where I do. |
| 271 | Oh. |
| 272 | Hmm, I try not to let work affect my personal life |
| 273 | but it's hard when-when you do...what I do. |
| 274 | It's like uh.. |
| 275 | Well, for instance, what do you do? |
| 276 | I'm a waitress. |
| 277 | Okay, alright, well, aren't there times |
| 278 | when you come home at the end of the day |
| 279 | and you're just like "If I see one more cup of coffee.." |
| 280 | [clears throat] Yeah. Gotcha! |
| 281 | I'm gonna check up on your friend. |
| 282 | Okay, that's fine. |
| 283 | So how'd you know I was even here? |
| 284 | (Roy) 'Your mom called me.' |
| 285 | So is this her? |
| 286 | No, this is a loaner. |
| 287 | Listen, I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself. |
| 288 | I wasn't by myself. |
| 289 | I had a doctor, a nurse and a helper guy. |
| 290 | So did you see who won the game? |
| 291 | Yeah. Knicks by ten. They suck. |
| 292 | Uh, they're not so bad. |
| 293 | [instrumental music] |
| 294 | Come on, come on. |
| 295 | Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! |
| 296 | This is all your fault. |
| 297 | This was supposed to be like the greatest day of my life. |
| 298 | You know, my son is being born and I'm.. |
| 299 | I should be in there, you know. |
| 300 | Instead I'm stuck in a closet with you. |
| 301 | The woman I love is having a baby today |
| 302 | I've been waiting for this just as much as you have. |
| 303 | No, no, believe me, no one has been waiting |
| 304 | for this just as much as I have, okay? |
| 305 | And you know what the funny thing is |
| 306 | when this thing is over, you get to go home with the baby, okay. |
| 307 | Where does that leave me? |
| 308 | You get to be the baby's father. |
| 309 | Everyone knows who you are. And who am I? |
| 310 | There's Fathers Day, there's Mothers Day |
| 311 | there's no Lesbian Lover Day. |
| 312 | Everyday is Lesbian Lover Day! |
| 313 | This is so great. |
| 314 | You wanna explain that? |
| 315 | I mean, 'cause when I was growing up |
| 316 | you know, my dad left and my mother died |
| 317 | and my stepfather went to jail so. |
| 318 | I barely had enough of pieces of parents to make one whole one. |
| 319 | And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents |
| 320 | who care about it so much that they're fighting over |
| 321 | who gets to love it the most |
| 322 | and it's not even born yet. It's just.. |
| 323 | It's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. |
| 324 | I'm sorry, you were fighting. |
| 325 | Where are they? |
| 326 | I'm sure they'll be here soon. |
| 327 | Yeah, honey, they wouldn't miss this. |
| 328 | Relax, you're only at nine centimeters |
| 329 | and the baby's at zero station. |
| 330 | Hey, you are really frightening me. |
| 331 | [screaming] |
| 332 | Somebody wanna help me. Trying to rip out my heart. |
| 333 | Uh, that's great. Anybody seen a nipple? |
| 334 | Alright. Ten centimeters. Here we go. |
| 335 | Alright, honey, time to start pushin'. |
| 336 | But they're not here yet. |
| 337 | I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them. |
| 338 | Oh, God! |
| 339 | Okay, got the vent open. |
| 340 | Hey, I'm Ben. |
| 341 | I'm hospital worker, Ben. |
| 342 | It's Ben to the rescue. |
| 343 | - Ta-da-da! - Okay, okay, okay. |
| 344 | - Ben, you ready? - Yeah. |
| 345 | - Alright, give me your foot. - Okay. |
| 346 | Okay, on three, Ben. One, two, three! |
| 347 | [grunting] |
| 348 | Come on, Ben. Okay, that's it, Ben. |
| 349 | Okay, okay. |
| 350 | What do you see? |
| 351 | (Phoebe) 'Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent.' |
| 352 | 'Wait.' |
| 353 | 'Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.' |
| 354 | Pheebs, It's open! It's open! |
| 355 | Wait! You forgot your legs! |
| 356 | (in unison) Push! Push! |
| 357 | [indistinct chattering] |
| 358 | - We're here. - Where have you been? |
| 359 | Long story, honey. |
| 360 | Okay, I need you to keep pushing. |
| 361 | I need.. Excuse me, can I have this? |
| 362 | Alright, alright, there's a few too many people in this room |
| 363 | there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband |
| 364 | or a lesbian life partner, out you go. |
| 365 | [indistinct chattering] |
| 366 | Good luck, you guys. Good luck. |
| 367 | Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner? |
| 368 | Out! |
| 369 | Alright. Alright, he's crowning. Here he comes! |
| 370 | Whoa, whoa, let me see. I gotta see, I gotta see. |
| 371 | [gasps] |
| 372 | Oh! A head! |
| 373 | Oh! It's-it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this? |
| 374 | Not helping! |
| 375 | You're doing great. You're doing fine |
| 376 | - Okay, okay. - Hello! |
| 377 | Oh, sorry. |
| 378 | What do you see? |
| 379 | - What do you see? - What do you see? |
| 380 | We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we go.. |
| 381 | Oh, look at that little, the fingers. |
| 382 | Oh, a chest and a stomach and it-it's a boy. |
| 383 | Definitely boy. Alright. |
| 384 | Okay, legs, knees and feet. Oh! Oh! |
| 385 | [sighs] |
| 386 | [gasps] |
| 387 | He's here. |
| 388 | He's a person. |
| 389 | [baby crying] Oh, look at that. |
| 390 | Who does he look like? |
| 391 | Kinda like my Uncle Ed covered in Jell-O. |
| 392 | Really? |
| 393 | (Phoebe) 'You guys, he's beautiful.' |
| 394 | Oh, thanks, Pheebs. |
| 395 | No shouting but we still need a name for this little guy. |
| 396 | How about Ben? |
| 397 | I like Ben. |
| 398 | Ben. |
| 399 | Ben. |
| 400 | - Ben's good. - Yeah? |
| 401 | How come you never mentioned Ben before? |
| 402 | We, uh, we just cooked it up. |
| 403 | That's what we were off doing. |
| 404 | - Hi. - Hey. |
| 405 | - Can we come in? - Yeah, come on. Come on. |
| 406 | [baby crying] |
| 407 | Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. |
| 408 | [baby crying] Yeah. This is Ben. |
| 409 | - Oh, hi, Ben. - Hi, Ben. |
| 410 | Ben, this is everybody. |
| 411 | Hey, Ben. |
| 412 | Susan, he looks just like you. |
| 413 | (Susan) 'Thanks.' |
| 414 | Oh, God, I can't believe |
| 415 | one of us actually has one of these. |
| 416 | I know. I still am one of these. |
| 417 | - Ross? - Yeah. |
| 418 | Can I? |
| 419 | - Okay, the head. - Okay. |
| 420 | The head. You gotta.. |
| 421 | [instrumental music] |
| 422 | Hi, Ben. |
| 423 | Hi. |
| 424 | I'm your Aunt Monica. |
| 425 | Yes, I am! I'm your Aunt Monica! |
| 426 | I.. |
| 427 | I will always have gum. |
| 428 | Ben, I want you to know that there maybe some times |
| 429 | when I-I may not be around. Like this.. |
| 430 | 'But I'll still always come back..' |
| 431 | ...like this. |
| 432 | And sometimes I may be away longer. |
| 433 | Like this.. |
| 434 | '...but I'll still always come back.' |
| 435 | Like this. |
| 436 | And sometimes, I'll want you to steal third |
| 437 | and I'll go like this. |
| 438 | - He is so amazing! - Yeah, I know. Look at him. |
| 439 | Ben? |
| 440 | Ben? |
| 441 | Hey, Ben? |
| 442 | Nothing. I don't think that's his name. |
| 443 | Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. |
| 444 | Oh, look, he's opening his eyes. |
| 445 | He doesn't do much, does he? |
| 446 | Nope. This is pretty much it. |
| 447 | You guys wanna get some coffee? |
| 448 | (all) Yeah. |
| 449 | Yeah, I'll see you guys later. |
| 450 | [instrumental music] |
| 451 | Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again. |
| 452 | |
| 1 | Ross: THERE'S LITTLE BEN. |
| 2 | LOOK AT AUNT MONICA'S LITTLE BOY. |
| 3 | LOOK, HE'S GOT ROSS'S HAIRCUT. |
| 4 | LET ME SEE. |
| 5 | OH, GOD, IS HE JUST THE SWEETEST THING. |
| 6 | YOU MUST JUST WANT TO KISS HIM ALL OVER. |
| 7 | THAT WOULD BE NICE. |
| 8 | ( snorts ) |
| 9 | PARDON? |
| 10 | NOTHING. JUST A LITTLE EXTRA AIR IN MY MOUTH. |
| 11 | HEY, CHAN, CAN YOU HELP ME OUT HERE? |
| 12 | I PROMISE I'LL PAY YOU BACK. |
| 13 | OH, YEAH, RIGHT, OKAY. |
| 14 | INCLUDING THE WAFFLES LAST WEEK |
| 15 | YOU NOW OWE ME... |
| 16 | 17 JILLION DOLLARS. |
| 17 | I WILL, REALLY. I'LL PAY YOU BACK. |
| 18 | AND WHERE'S THIS MONEY COMING FROM? |
| 19 | I'M HELPING OUT DOWN AT THE N.Y.U. MED SCHOOL |
| 20 | WITH SOME RESEARCH. |
| 21 | WHAT KIND OF RESEARCH? |
| 22 | JUST, YOU KNOW, SCIENCE. |
| 23 | SCIENCE. |
| 24 | YEAH, I THINK I'VE HEARD OF THAT. |
| 25 | IT'S A FERTILITY STUDY. |
| 26 | OH. |
| 27 | JOEY, PLEASE TELL ME |
| 28 | YOU'RE ONLY DONATING YOUR TIME. |
| 29 | ALL RIGHT, COME ON, YOU GUYS. |
| 30 | IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL. |
| 31 | I JUST GO DOWN THERE EVERY OTHER DAY |
| 32 | AND MAKE MY CONTRIBUTION TO THE PROJECT. |
| 33 | HEY, HEY |
| 34 | BUT AT THE END OF TWO WEEKS I GET $700. |
| 35 | YOU'RE GOING TO BE MAKING MONEY HAND OVER FIST. |
| 36 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 37 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 39 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 40 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 41 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 42 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 43 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 44 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 45 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 46 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 47 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO ♪ |
| 48 | OKAY, WE GOT THE COLESLAW, WE GOT THE BUNS... |
| 49 | WE'VE GOT THE GROUND-UP FLESH |
| 50 | OF FORMERLY CUTE COWS AND TURKEYS. |
| 51 | MEN ARE HERE. |
| 52 | WE MAKE FIRE. |
| 53 | COOK MEAT. |
| 54 | THEN PUT OUT FIRE BY PEEING. |
| 55 | NO GET INVITED BACK. |
| 56 | JOEY, MELANIE CALLED. |
| 57 | SHE'S GOING TO BE LATE. |
| 58 | OKAY. |
| 59 | HOW ARE THINGS GOING WITH YOU TWO? |
| 60 | IS SHE BECOMING YOUR SPECIAL SOMEONE? |
| 61 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 62 | SHE'S, UH, SHE'S PRETTY GREAT. |
| 63 | WHAT DOES SHE THINK OF YOUR LITTLE SCIENCE PROJECT? |
| 64 | YOU THINK I'M GOING TO TELL A GIRL I LIKE |
| 65 | THAT I'M ALSO SEEING A CUP? |
| 66 | MAN'S GOT A POINT. |
| 67 | THE TOUGH THING IS |
| 68 | SHE REALLY WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME. |
| 69 | CRAZY BITCH. |
| 70 | I STILL GOT A WEEK LEFT TO GO IN THE PROGRAM. |
| 71 | AND ACCORDING TO THE RULES |
| 72 | IF I WANT THE MONEY |
| 73 | I'M NOT ALLOWED TO CONDUCT ANY PERSONAL EXPERIMENTS |
| 74 | IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. |
| 75 | JOEY, WE ALWAYS KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. |
| 76 | HOW LONG DID YOU THINK |
| 77 | THIS BARBECUE WAS GOING TO LAST? |
| 78 | I'M GOING TO CHINA. |
| 79 | GEEZ, YOU SAY ONE THING... |
| 80 | YOU'RE GOING TO CHINA? |
| 81 | IT'S FOR THE MUSEUM. |
| 82 | SOMEONE FOUND A BONE. |
| 83 | THEY DON'T WANT US TO HAVE THE BONE. |
| 84 | I'M GOING TO TRY AND PERSUADE THEM TO GIVE US... |
| 85 | IT'S A WHOLE BIG BONE THING. |
| 86 | ANYWAY, I'M GOING TO BE GONE FOR LIKE A WEEK. |
| 87 | SO IF YOU WANT TO REACH ME, YOU CAN'T. |
| 88 | HERE'S MY ITINERARY. |
| 89 | UM, HERE'S A PICTURE OF ME. |
| 90 | LET ME SEE. |
| 91 | COULD YOU TAKE IT TO CAROL EVERY NOW AND THEN |
| 92 | AND SHOW IT TO BEN SO HE DOESN'T FORGET ME? |
| 93 | YEAH. |
| 94 | HI, BEN, I'M YOUR FATHER. |
| 95 | I AM THE HEAD! |
| 96 | ALL RIGHT. THIS BARBECUE'S GOING TO BE VERY FUN. |
| 97 | HEY, IS RACHEL HERE? |
| 98 | I WANTED TO WISH HER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEFORE I LEFT. |
| 99 | SHE'S HAVING DRINKS WITH CARL. |
| 100 | OH. |
| 101 | HEY, WHO'S CARL? |
| 102 | YOU KNOW, THAT GUY |
| 103 | SHE MET AT THE COFFEEHOUSE. |
| 104 | NO. |
| 105 | THERE'S THIS GUY THAT SHE MET... |
| 106 | AT THE COFFEEHOUSE, RIGHT. |
| 107 | SO YOU DO KNOW WHO HE IS. |
| 108 | I'M GOING TO GO SAY GOOD-BYE TO THE GUYS. |
| 109 | HEY, TELL THEM THAT BONE STORY. |
| 110 | HI. |
| 111 | HEY. |
| 112 | I HAVE TO GO TO CHINA. |
| 113 | THE COUNTRY? |
| 114 | NO, NO. THIS BIG PILE OF DISHES IN MY MOM'S BREAKFRONT. |
| 115 | DO YOU GUYS KNOW |
| 116 | WHO CARL IS? |
| 117 | LET'S SEE... ALVIN, SIMON, THEODORE... |
| 118 | NO. |
| 119 | WELL, RACHEL'S HAVING DRINKS WITH HIM TONIGHT. |
| 120 | OH, NO! |
| 121 | HOW CAN SHE DO THAT |
| 122 | WHEN SHE'S NEVER SHOWN ANY INTEREST IN YOU? |
| 123 | FORGET ABOUT HER. |
| 124 | HE'S RIGHT, MAN. PLEASE. |
| 125 | GO TO CHINA. |
| 126 | EAT CHINESE FOOD. |
| 127 | OF COURSE, THERE THEY JUST CALL IT "FOOD." |
| 128 | YEAH, I GUESS. |
| 129 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 130 | ALL RIGHT. JUST... JUST GIVE HER THIS, OKAY? |
| 131 | WE'RE JUST LOOKING OUT FOR YOU. |
| 132 | WE WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. |
| 133 | AND I MAY HAVE A COUPLE BEERS IN ME |
| 134 | BUT I LOVE YOU, MAN. |
| 135 | I'M STILL ON MY FIRST. |
| 136 | I JUST THINK YOU'RE NICE. |
| 137 | THAT'S WHEN ME AND MY FRIEND |
| 138 | STARTED THIS WHOLE FRUITBASKET BUSINESS. |
| 139 | WE CALL OURSELVES "THE THREE BASKETEERS." |
| 140 | LIKE THE THREE MUSKETEERS, ONLY WITH FRUIT. |
| 141 | OH. |
| 142 | OKAY. |
| 143 | HOW DOES EVERYBODY LIKE THEIR BURGERS? |
| 144 | NO, NO, PRESENTS FIRST |
| 145 | FOOD LATER. |
| 146 | HEY, HOLD ON THERE, TIGER. |
| 147 | HOW'S IT GOING? HOW YOU HOLDING UP? |
| 148 | SHE DEFINITELY THINKS TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT |
| 149 | WE'RE GOING TO COMPLETE THE TRANSACTION |
| 150 | IF YOU KNOW WHAT... |
| 151 | AND YOU DO. |
| 152 | SO HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT BEING THERE FOR HER? |
| 153 | WHAT DO YOU MEAN? |
| 154 | YOU KNOW, JUST BE THERE FOR HER. |
| 155 | NOT FOLLOWING YOU. |
| 156 | THINK ABOUT IT. |
| 157 | OKAY, I'M GUESSING THIS IS FROM... |
| 158 | WELL, THANK YOU, MELANIE. |
| 159 | OKAY, THIS ONE RIGHT HERE IS FROM ME. |
| 160 | OKAY. |
| 161 | IT'S LIGHT. |
| 162 | IT RATTLES. |
| 163 | IT'S... |
| 164 | TRAVEL SCRABBLE. |
| 165 | WOW. THANK YOU. |
| 166 | THIS ONE'S FROM JOEY. |
| 167 | FEELS LIKE A BOOK. |
| 168 | AND IT'S A BOOK. |
| 169 | IT'S DR. SEUSS! |
| 170 | THAT BOOK GOT ME THROUGH SOME TOUGH TIMES. |
| 171 | THERE IS A LITTLE CHILD INSIDE THIS MAN. |
| 172 | YES. THE DOCTORS SAY IF THEY REMOVE IT |
| 173 | HE'LL DIE. |
| 174 | WHO'S THIS FROM? |
| 175 | ROSS. |
| 176 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 177 | HE REMEMBERED. |
| 178 | REMEMBERED WHAT? |
| 179 | IT WAS MONTHS AGO. |
| 180 | WE WERE WALKING BY THIS ANTIQUE STORE. |
| 181 | I SAW THIS PIN IN THE WINDOW. |
| 182 | I TOLD HIM IT WAS JUST LIKE ONE |
| 183 | MY GRANDMOTHER HAD WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL. |
| 184 | I CAN'T BELIEVE HE REMEMBERED. |
| 185 | WELL, SURE, BUT CAN YOU PLAY IT ON A PLANE? |
| 186 | IT'S SO PRETTY. |
| 187 | THIS MUST HAVE COST HIM A FORTUNE. |
| 188 | I CAN'T BELIEVE |
| 189 | HE DID THIS. |
| 190 | REMEMBER BACK IN COLLEGE |
| 191 | WHEN ROSS FELL IN LOVE WITH CAROL |
| 192 | AND BOUGHT HER |
| 193 | THAT RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE CRYSTAL DUCK? |
| 194 | WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? |
| 195 | ( clearing throat ) |
| 196 | CRYSTAL DUCK. |
| 197 | NO, NO, NO. |
| 198 | THE, UM... THE LOVE PART? |
| 199 | FOR... FLANIN... |
| 200 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 201 | OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. |
| 202 | THAT'S GOOD. JUST KEEP RUBBING YOUR HEAD. |
| 203 | THAT WILL TURN BACK TIME. |
| 204 | THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. |
| 205 | I KNOW. THIS IS REALLY, REALLY HUGE. |
| 206 | NO, IT'S NOT. |
| 207 | IT'S SMALL. IT'S TINY. |
| 208 | IT'S PETITE. IT'S WEE. |
| 209 | UH-UH. I DON'T THINK ANY OF OUR LIVES |
| 210 | ARE EVER GOING TO BE THE SAME EVER AGAIN. |
| 211 | IS THERE A MUTE BUTTON ON THIS WOMAN? |
| 212 | I THINK THIS IS SO GREAT. |
| 213 | I MEAN, YOU AND ROSS! |
| 214 | DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEA? |
| 215 | NO. NONE. |
| 216 | MY FIRST NIGHT IN THE CITY HE MENTIONED |
| 217 | SOMETHING ABOUT ASKING ME OUT |
| 218 | BUT NOTHING EVER HAPPENED... |
| 219 | WHAT ELSE DID HE SAY? |
| 220 | DOES HE WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME? |
| 221 | SINCE HE IS DESPERATELY IN LOVE WITH YOU |
| 222 | HE PROBABLY WOULDN'T MIND GETTING A CUP |
| 223 | OF COFFEE OR SOMETHING. |
| 224 | ROSS? |
| 225 | ALL THIS TIME? |
| 226 | WELL, I'VE GOT TO TALK TO HIM. |
| 227 | HE'S IN CHINA! |
| 228 | THE COUNTRY. |
| 229 | HIS FLIGHT DOESN'T LEAVE FOR ANOTHER 45 MINUTES. |
| 230 | THE TIME DIFFERENCE. |
| 231 | FROM HERE TO THE AIRPORT? |
| 232 | YES! |
| 233 | YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT. |
| 234 | WELL, I'VE GOT TO TRY. |
| 235 | WHAT WILL YOU SAY? |
| 236 | I-I-I DON'T KNOW. |
| 237 | WELL, THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T GO. |
| 238 | IF YOU JUST BREAK HIS HEART |
| 239 | THAT'S THE KIND OF THING THAT CAN WAIT. |
| 240 | IF IT'S GOOD NEWS, TELL HIM NOW. |
| 241 | MAYBE I'LL KNOW WHEN I SEE HIM. |
| 242 | HERE, LOOK. |
| 243 | ALL RIGHT. DOES THIS HELP? |
| 244 | NO... |
| 245 | LOOK, I CANNOT WAIT A WEEK UNTIL I SEE HIM. |
| 246 | THIS IS JUST TOO BIG. |
| 247 | I'VE JUST GOT TO TALK TO HIM. |
| 248 | I'VE GOT TO... OKAY. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. |
| 249 | RACHEL, I LOVE YOU! |
| 250 | DEAL WITH ME FIRST! |
| 251 | ZAI JIAN. |
| 252 | WO DE FENGZHENG YOU CHONGZI... |
| 253 | ALL RIGHTY! |
| 254 | NI XIAO SHI MA! |
| 255 | ROSS! |
| 256 | ROSS! |
| 257 | PARDON ME! |
| 258 | YOUR BOARDING PASS? |
| 259 | I NEED TO TALK TO MY FRIEND. |
| 260 | YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THE JETWAY |
| 261 | UNLESS YOU HAVE A BOARDING PASS. |
| 262 | I KNOW, BUT HE JUST WENT ON. |
| 263 | HE'S GOT THE BLUE JACKET ON. |
| 264 | I'M SORRY. FEDERAL REGULATIONS. |
| 265 | ALL RIGHT. OKAY. |
| 266 | COULD YOU PLEASE |
| 267 | JUST GIVE HIM A MESSAGE FOR ME? |
| 268 | PLEASE? THIS IS IMPORTANT. |
| 269 | ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S THE MESSAGE? |
| 270 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 271 | EXCUSE ME. SIR! SIR! |
| 272 | EXCUSE ME. SIR! |
| 273 | I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU. |
| 274 | WHAT? |
| 275 | IT'S FROM RACHEL. |
| 276 | SHE SAID THAT SHE LOVED THE PRESENT |
| 277 | AND SHE'LL SEE YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK. |
| 278 | TOBY, OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE. |
| 279 | I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT. |
| 280 | THERE'S NO RACHEL! |
| 281 | DON'T GIVE ME THAT DEEP FREEZE. |
| 282 | MMM... |
| 283 | OH, JOEY, JOEY, JOEY. |
| 284 | I THINK I BLACKED OUT THERE FOR A MINUTE. |
| 285 | IT WAS NOTHING. |
| 286 | WELL, NOW WE'VE GOT |
| 287 | TO FIND SOMETHING FUN FOR YOU. |
| 288 | ( laughs ) |
| 289 | ( kissing ) |
| 290 | UH... YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 291 | FORGET ABOUT ME. |
| 292 | LET'S, UH... |
| 293 | LET'S GIVE YOU ANOTHER TURN. |
| 294 | ME AGAIN? |
| 295 | SURE! WHY NOT? |
| 296 | BOY! SOMEBODY'S GOING TO GET A BIG FRUIT BASKET TOMORROW. |
| 297 | OH! I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, JOEY |
| 298 | YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE. |
| 299 | HOW DO YOU MEAN? |
| 300 | I GUESS I JUST HAD YOU PEGGED |
| 301 | AS ONE OF THOSE GUYS WHO ARE ALWAYS "ME, ME, ME." |
| 302 | BUT YOU... |
| 303 | YOU'RE A GIVER. |
| 304 | YOU'RE, LIKE, THE MOST GENEROUS MAN I'VE EVER MET. |
| 305 | I MEAN... |
| 306 | YOU'RE PRACTICALLY A WOMAN. |
| 307 | UH, SO, UH, RACH |
| 308 | YOU WANT TO SAVE THIS WRAPPING PAPER? |
| 309 | IT'S ONLY A LITTLE BIT TORN. |
| 310 | SO ARE YOU GOING TO GO FOR IT WITH ROSS |
| 311 | OR SHOULD I JUST THROW IT OUT? |
| 312 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 313 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 314 | I THOUGHT ABOUT IT ALL THE WAY THERE |
| 315 | AND I THOUGHT ABOUT IT ALL THE WAY BACK. |
| 316 | AND, UH, OH, YOU GUYS, YOU KNOW, IT'S ROSS. |
| 317 | YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? |
| 318 | I MEAN, IT'S ROSS. |
| 319 | SURE. SURE. |
| 320 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 321 | I MEAN, THIS IS JUST MY INITIAL GUT FEELING... |
| 322 | ( sighs ) |
| 323 | BUT I'M THINKING... |
| 324 | I'M THINKING IT'D BE REALLY GREAT. |
| 325 | OH, MY GOD, YOU DO! |
| 326 | WE'LL BE LIKE FRIENDS-IN-LAW. |
| 327 | YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART IS? |
| 328 | YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM. |
| 329 | IT'S LIKE STARTING ON THE 15th DATE. |
| 330 | YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW. |
| 331 | IT'S LIKE STARTING ON THE 15th DATE. |
| 332 | ANOTHER GOOD POINT. |
| 333 | NO. I MEAN... |
| 334 | WHEN YOU'RE AT THE 15th DATE |
| 335 | YOU'RE ALREADY IN A VERY RELATIONSHIPPY PLACE. |
| 336 | YOU'RE COMMITTED. |
| 337 | HUH? |
| 338 | THEN WHAT HAPPENS IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT? |
| 339 | WHY ISN'T IT WORKING OUT? |
| 340 | SOMETIMES IT DOESN'T. |
| 341 | IS HE NOT CUTE ENOUGH FOR YOU? |
| 342 | OR NOT MAKE ENOUGH MONEY? |
| 343 | NO. I'M JUST... |
| 344 | SOMEONE ELSE? |
| 345 | WHA... IS THERE? |
| 346 | IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE? |
| 347 | NO! THERE IS NO ONE ELSE! |
| 348 | THEN WHY ARE YOU DUMPING MY BROTHER? |
| 349 | WELL... |
| 350 | HEY, BIG... |
| 351 | SHH! |
| 352 | SPENDER. |
| 353 | SHE'S STILL ASLEEP. |
| 354 | SO, HOW'D IT GO? |
| 355 | IT WAS AMAZING. |
| 356 | YOU EVER THINK YOU'RE GREAT IN BED? |
| 357 | THE FACT THAT YOU'D EVEN ASK THAT QUESTION |
| 358 | SHOWS HOW LITTLE YOU KNOW ME. |
| 359 | WELL, IT'S LIKE, LAST NIGHT |
| 360 | I COULDN'T DO THE THING THAT USUALLY MAKES ME GREAT. |
| 361 | SO I HAD TO DO ALL THIS OTHER STUFF |
| 362 | AND THE RESPONSE I GOT-- MAN, OH, MAN! |
| 363 | IT WAS LIKE A TICKER-TAPE PARADE. |
| 364 | YES, I KNOW. |
| 365 | AS IT HAPPENS, MY ROOM |
| 366 | IS VERY, VERY CLOSE TO THE PARADE ROUTE. |
| 367 | IT WAS AMAZING. |
| 368 | NOT JUST FOR HER, UH-UH. |
| 369 | FOR ME TOO. |
| 370 | IT'S LIKE ALL OF A SUDDEN, I'M BLIND. |
| 371 | BUT ALL MY OTHER SENSES ARE HEIGHTENED. |
| 372 | IT'S LIKE I WAS ABLE TO APPRECIATE IT |
| 373 | ON ANOTHER LEVEL. |
| 374 | I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD ANOTHER LEVEL. |
| 375 | I KNOW. NEITHER DID I. |
| 376 | HEY, GREAT SKIRT! |
| 377 | BIRTHDAY PRESENT? |
| 378 | YEAH. |
| 379 | WELL, FROM WHO? |
| 380 | FROM YOU-- I EXCHANGED THE BLOUSE |
| 381 | YOU GOT ME. |
| 382 | WELL, IT'S THE THOUGHT. |
| 383 | HEY, DOESN'T ROSS' FLIGHT GET IN IN A COUPLE OF HOURS... |
| 384 | AT GATE 27B? |
| 385 | UH, YEAH. UH, MONICA, YOU KNOW, HONEY |
| 386 | I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT |
| 387 | AND I'VE DECIDED THIS WHOLE ROSS THING |
| 388 | IS JUST NOT A GOOD IDEA. |
| 389 | WHY? |
| 390 | BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE |
| 391 | I WOULDN'T JUST BE GOING OUT WITH HIM |
| 392 | I WOULD BE GOING OUT WITH ALL OF YOU. |
| 393 | THERE WOULD JUST BE ALL THIS PRESSURE... |
| 394 | NO. NO PRESSURE! NO PRESSURE! |
| 395 | NOTHING HAS EVEN HAPPENED YET |
| 396 | AND YOU ARE ALREADY SO... |
| 397 | I AM NOT "SO"! |
| 398 | OKAY. I WAS A TEENSY BIT WEIRD AT FIRST |
| 399 | BUT I'LL BE GOOD. I PROMISE. |
| 400 | ( buzzing ) |
| 401 | OKAY? |
| 402 | WHO IS IT? |
| 403 | Man: It's me, Carl. |
| 404 | COME ON UP. |
| 405 | BEHIND MY BROTHER'S BACK? |
| 406 | IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF CRAZY THING |
| 407 | YOU WON'T BE HEARING FROM ME. |
| 408 | 700 BUCKS! |
| 409 | ALL RIGHT! YOU DID IT! |
| 410 | DO WE HAVE ANY FRUIT? |
| 411 | MAN, HELL OF A TWO WEEKS, HUH? |
| 412 | BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, THOUGH? |
| 413 | I REALLY FEEL LIKE I LEARNED SOMETHING. |
| 414 | YOU'RE STICKING WITH THIS "ALL FOR HER" THING? |
| 415 | WHAT ARE YOU? CRAZY? |
| 416 | WHEN A BLIND MAN GETS HIS SIGHT BACK |
| 417 | DOES HE WALK AROUND LIKE THIS? |
| 418 | I'M JUST SAYING |
| 419 | IF I SEE ONE MORE PICTURE OF ED BEGLEY, JR. |
| 420 | IN THAT STUPID ELECTRIC CAR |
| 421 | I'M GOING TO SHOOT MYSELF! |
| 422 | I'M NOT AGAINST ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES PER SE. |
| 423 | IT'S JUST THAT GUY! |
| 424 | I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT |
| 425 | YOU WOULD RATHER GO OUT WITH HIM THAN ME. |
| 426 | WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME, PLEASE. |
| 427 | I'M TRYING TO HAVE A DATE. |
| 428 | FINE. JUST STOP THINKING ABOUT ME. |
| 429 | ( sighs ) |
| 430 | CAN'T DO IT, CAN YOU? |
| 431 | SO, I'M THINKING ABOUT YOU. |
| 432 | SO WHAT? |
| 433 | I DON'T GET IT. |
| 434 | WHAT DO YOU SEE IN THIS GUY? |
| 435 | WELL, HE SEEMS TO BE A VERY NICE... GUY. |
| 436 | ...COME ON, BUDDY! GET A REAL CAR! |
| 437 | RACHEL, COME ON. |
| 438 | GIVE US A CHANCE. |
| 439 | ROSS, IT'S TOO HARD. |
| 440 | BECAUSE IT MIGHT GET WEIRD FOR EVERYONE ELSE? |
| 441 | WHO CARES ABOUT THEM? |
| 442 | THIS IS ABOUT US. |
| 443 | I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU SINCE LIKE, THE NINTH GRADE. |
| 444 | YOU'RE LIKE MY BEST FRIEND. |
| 445 | IF WE BROKE UP AND I LOST YOU... |
| 446 | WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. |
| 447 | WHY WOULD WE BREAK UP? |
| 448 | HAVE YOU BEEN INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE |
| 449 | WHERE YOU HAVEN'T BROKEN UP? |
| 450 | NO. |
| 451 | BUT IT ONLY HAS TO HAPPEN ONCE. |
| 452 | LOOK, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW |
| 453 | WE ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER. |
| 454 | RIGHT? I MEAN, SO THE ONLY QUESTION IS |
| 455 | ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO ME? |
| 456 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 457 | I MEAN, I'VE NEVER LOOKED AT YOU THAT WAY BEFORE. |
| 458 | WELL, START LOOKING. |
| 459 | WOW. |
| 460 | EXACTLY! |
| 461 | AND I'LL BE THE GUY |
| 462 | CAUGHT BEHIND THIS HAMMERHEAD IN TRAFFIC. |
| 463 | UH, RIGHT. |
| 464 | YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 465 | YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 466 | WHAT? |
| 467 | I FORGOT I'M SUPPOSED |
| 468 | TO PICK UP A FRIEND AT THE AIRPORT. |
| 469 | I AM SO SORRY. |
| 470 | SO, IF YOU WANT TO STAY AND FINISH YOUR DRINKS |
| 471 | PLEASE DO. |
| 472 | I'M SORRY. I'VE GOT TO GO. I'M SORRY. |
| 473 | BUT... |
| 474 | EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME. |
| 475 | EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. SORRY. |
| 476 | TOBY, FOR GOD'S SAKE. WILL YOU LET IT GO? |
| 477 | THERE'S NO RACHEL! |
| 478 | EXCUSE ME. SORRY. |
| 479 | OH, HEY. HEY. I GOT THAT. |
| 480 | OH, THANKS. SWEETIE. |
| 481 | NO PROBLEM. |
| 482 | I CANNOT WAIT FOR YOU TO MEET MY FRIENDS. |
| 483 | REALLY? |
| 484 | YOU DON'T THINK |
| 485 | THEY'LL JUDGE AND RIDICULE ME? |
| 486 | NO. THEY WILL. I JUST... |
| 487 | Both: CAN'T WAIT. |
| 488 | THEY'LL LOVE YOU. |
| 489 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS ♪ |
| 490 | ♪ STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 491 | ♪ WHEN IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 492 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 493 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 494 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 495 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 496 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 497 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU... ♪ |
| 498 | [Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation] |
| 499 | |
| 1 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 2 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 3 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 4 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 5 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 6 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 7 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 8 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 9 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 10 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 11 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 12 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 13 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 14 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 15 | OH, MY... EXCUSE ME. |
| 16 | MOVE, MOVE, MOVE! |
| 17 | EMERGENCY, PLEASE. |
| 18 | EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME. |
| 19 | ( yelling ) |
| 20 | RACH! |
| 21 | THERE YOU ARE. |
| 22 | HEY. HI. |
| 23 | OH, SO, SO... |
| 24 | HOW WAS CHINA? |
| 25 | YOU! |
| 26 | IT WAS, IT WAS GREAT. |
| 27 | OH, WHAT HAPPENED? |
| 28 | WHAT? Y-YOU'RE BLEEDING. |
| 29 | I AM? OH MY GOD. |
| 30 | OH, LOOK AT THAT. YES, I AM. |
| 31 | ANYWAY, ENOUGH ABOUT ME |
| 32 | MR. BACK- FROM-THE-ORIENT. |
| 33 | COME ON, I WANT TO HEAR EVERYTHING. |
| 34 | EVERYTHING. |
| 35 | WELL, UH, WHERE DO I START? |
| 36 | UM, WELL, THIS IS JULIE. |
| 37 | UH, JULIE, THIS IS RACHEL. |
| 38 | HI. |
| 39 | UH... OH! |
| 40 | UH, THESE ARE... |
| 41 | THESE ARE... |
| 42 | AREN'T FOR YOU. |
| 43 | UH, THESE ARE FOR YOU. |
| 44 | [ENUNCIATING] WELCOME TO OUR COUNTRY. |
| 45 | THANK YOU. |
| 46 | [ENUNCIATING] I'M FROM NEW YORK. |
| 47 | OH, OKAY. SORRY. |
| 48 | WELL, NOT A PROBLEM. |
| 49 | WE'LL JUST USE THEM TO STOP THE BLEEDING. |
| 50 | OKAY. UH, BAGGAGE CLAIM? |
| 51 | OKAY. OKAY. |
| 52 | NO WAY. I'M TELLING YOU, |
| 53 | SHE WENT TO THE AIRPORT |
| 54 | AND SHE'S GOING TO GO FOR IT WITH ROSS. |
| 55 | OH, MY GOD. THIS IS HUGE. |
| 56 | THIS IS BIGGER THAN HUGE. |
| 57 | THIS IS LIKE... ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S BIGGER THAN HUGE? |
| 58 | UM... THIS? |
| 59 | YES. |
| 60 | GUYS, YOU GOT NEW HAIRCUTS. |
| 61 | YES, YES, WE DID, THANKS TO VIDAL BUFFAY. |
| 62 | 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON'T LOOK GOOD |
| 63 | WE DON'T LOOK GOOD. |
| 64 | I LOVE THAT VOICE. |
| 65 | WHOA. OH. |
| 66 | ( panting ): AIRPORT! AIRPORT! |
| 67 | ROSS... NOT ALONE! |
| 68 | JULIE... |
| 69 | ARM AROUND HER! |
| 70 | OH... CRAMP! CRAMP! CRAMP! |
| 71 | OKAY, I THINK SHE'S TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING. |
| 72 | QUICK, GET THE VERBS. |
| 73 | OW. |
| 74 | YOU... YOU, YOU SAID HE LIKED ME. |
| 75 | YOU, YOU... |
| 76 | YOU SLOWPOKES! |
| 77 | THAT'S ALL RIGHT, RACH. WE GOT THE BAGS. |
| 78 | HI. HELLO. |
| 79 | JULIE, THIS IS MY SISTER, MONICA. |
| 80 | THIS IS CHANDLER. |
| 81 | HEY. HEY. |
| 82 | PHOEBE, HI. |
| 83 | JOEY, WHAT UP? |
| 84 | OKAY, EVERYONE, THIS IS JULIE. |
| 85 | JULIE. |
| 86 | All: OH... |
| 87 | HI! HI! |
| 88 | HI! HEY! |
| 89 | HI. I'M NOT HERE. |
| 90 | I'LL MAKE A MUCH BETTER FIRST IMPRESSION TOMORROW |
| 91 | WHEN I DON'T HAVE 20 HOURS OF CAB AND PLANE ON ME. |
| 92 | AND BUS. |
| 93 | OH, MY GOD. THAT... |
| 94 | THE SCREAMING GUY? |
| 95 | AND THE SPITTING? |
| 96 | Ross: YOU GOT TO HEAR THIS STORY. |
| 97 | WE'RE ON THIS BUS |
| 98 | THAT'S EASILY 200 YEARS OLD, RIGHT? |
| 99 | AND THIS GUY... |
| 100 | AND THE CHICKEN POOPS IN HER LAP. |
| 101 | OH, I'M SO SORRY. |
| 102 | I JUST GAVE AWAY THE ENDING, DIDN'T I? |
| 103 | OH, IT'S JUST I JUST HEARD THIS STORY IN THE CAB |
| 104 | AND IT IS ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT. |
| 105 | THIS IS AMAZING. |
| 106 | I MEAN, HOW..? |
| 107 | HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? |
| 108 | WE WERE IN GRAD SCHOOL TOGETHER. |
| 109 | BUT WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER SINCE THEN. |
| 110 | WELL, I LAND IN CHINA. |
| 111 | GUESS WHO'S IN CHARGE OF THE DIG? |
| 112 | JULIE! |
| 113 | ISN'T THAT GREAT? |
| 114 | I MEAN, ISN'T THAT JUST KICK-YOU-IN-THE-CROTCH |
| 115 | SPIT-ON-YOUR-NECK FANTASTIC? |
| 116 | IT'S AN EXPRESSION. |
| 117 | WE JUST WANTED TO SAY A QUICK HI |
| 118 | THEN WE'RE GOING TO GO SEE THE BABY. |
| 119 | AND THEN, WE'VE GOT TO GET SOME SLEEP. |
| 120 | YEAH. IT'S REALLY 6:00 TOMORROW NIGHT OUR TIME. |
| 121 | OKAY, WELL, LISTEN, DON'T TELL US |
| 122 | WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN THOUGH, |
| 123 | 'CAUSE I LIKE TO BE SURPRISED. |
| 124 | BYE. |
| 125 | BYE. |
| 126 | RACH, CAN I GET SOME COFFEE? |
| 127 | YEAH, SURE. |
| 128 | HEY, RACH. |
| 129 | DID YOU TALK TO HIM? NO. |
| 130 | THEN NO. |
| 131 | SO, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU IN CHINA? |
| 132 | I MEAN, WHEN LAST WE LEFT YOU |
| 133 | YOU WERE TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH... YOU KNOW. |
| 134 | I KNOW, I KNOW I WAS |
| 135 | BUT THERE WAS ALWAYS THIS LITTLE VOICE INSIDE |
| 136 | THAT KEPT SAYING, "IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. |
| 137 | MOVE ON," AND YOU KNOW WHOSE VOICE THAT WAS? |
| 138 | GOD? |
| 139 | IT WAS YOU, PAL. |
| 140 | WELL, MAYBE IT WAS GOD DOING ME. |
| 141 | LOOK, YOU WERE RIGHT, OKAY? |
| 142 | SHE LOOKS AT ME AND SEES A FRIEND |
| 143 | THAT'S ALL, |
| 144 | AND THEN, I MET JULIE |
| 145 | AND WE'RE HAVING A GREAT TIME |
| 146 | AND I HAVE TO SAY |
| 147 | I NEVER WOULD HAVE GONE FOR IT WITH HER |
| 148 | IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR YOU. |
| 149 | WELL, YOU OWE ME ONE, BIG GUY. |
| 150 | HERE'S YOUR LEMONADE. |
| 151 | I DIDN'T ORDER LEMONADE. |
| 152 | OH. WELL, THEN YOU BETTER GO TAKE THAT BACK |
| 153 | 'CAUSE THEY'RE GOING TO CHARGE YOU FOR THAT. |
| 154 | BUT... GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. |
| 155 | COME ON, COME ON. |
| 156 | OKAY, SO, UH, WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT? |
| 157 | HE SAID... |
| 158 | HE SAID... |
| 159 | HE SAID THEY'RE HAVING A GREAT TIME. |
| 160 | I'M SORRY. |
| 161 | WHAT? |
| 162 | BUT... |
| 163 | THE SILVER LINING IF YOU WANT TO SEE IT |
| 164 | IS THAT HE MADE THIS DECISION ALL BY HIMSELF |
| 165 | WITHOUT ANY OUTSIDE HELP WHATSOEVER. |
| 166 | HOW IS THAT A SILVER LINING? |
| 167 | YOU HAVE TO REALLY WANT TO SEE IT. |
| 168 | ( crowd cheering ) |
| 169 | IRONICALLY, THESE ARE THE GUYS WHO WERE PICKED LAST IN GYM. |
| 170 | HEY, PHEEBS. |
| 171 | YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING? |
| 172 | OH, OKAY. |
| 173 | HOW... |
| 174 | IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE YOU'VE HAD SEX |
| 175 | YOU'RE WONDERING IF THEY'VE CHANGED IT? |
| 176 | NO, ALTHOUGH NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M THINKING. |
| 177 | SO, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? |
| 178 | WELL, I WAS THINKING |
| 179 | THAT YOU GAVE THE GUYS SUCH GREAT HAIRCUTS |
| 180 | I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO DO MINE. |
| 181 | OH. NO. |
| 182 | WHY NOT? |
| 183 | BECAUSE I'M JUST... |
| 184 | I'M INCREDIBLY ANAL |
| 185 | AND AN UNBELIEVABLE CONTROL FREAK. |
| 186 | NO, YOU'RE NOT. |
| 187 | I KNOW I'M NOT, BUT YOU ARE |
| 188 | AND I WAS TRYING TO SPARE YOUR FEELINGS. |
| 189 | ( phone ringing ) |
| 190 | Joey: HELLO? |
| 191 | OH, HI. |
| 192 | YEAH, HOLD ON A SEC. |
| 193 | ROSS, JULIE, FOR YOU. |
| 194 | HELLO? HI. |
| 195 | HEY, ANYBODY KNOW A GOOD TAILOR? |
| 196 | YOU NEED SOME CLOTHES ALTERED? |
| 197 | NO, I'M JUST LOOKING FOR A MAN |
| 198 | TO DRAW ON ME WITH CHALK. |
| 199 | WHY DON'T YOU GO SEE FRANKIE? |
| 200 | MY FAMILY'S BEEN GOING TO HIM FOREVER. |
| 201 | HE DID MY FIRST SUIT WHEN I WAS 15. |
| 202 | NO, WAIT. 16. |
| 203 | NO. EXCUSE ME. 15. |
| 204 | ALL RIGHT, WHEN WAS 1990? |
| 205 | OKAY, YOU HAVE TO STOP THE Q-TIP |
| 206 | WHEN THERE'S RESISTANCE. |
| 207 | OKAY, OKAY, SWEETHEART |
| 208 | I'LL SEE YOU LATER. |
| 209 | OKAY, BYE. WHAT? |
| 210 | OH, THAT IS SO SWEET. |
| 211 | NO, NO, OKAY. |
| 212 | NO, YOU HANG UP. |
| 213 | NO, YOU... OKAY. |
| 214 | OKAY. ONE, TWO, THREE. |
| 215 | WELL, YOU DIDN'T HANG UP EITHER. |
| 216 | Both: SHE DIDN'T HANG UP EITHER. |
| 217 | OKAY, NO. |
| 218 | NO, YOU HANG UP. |
| 219 | YOU. YOU. Y... |
| 220 | I'M SORRY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING TO ME. |
| 221 | RACHEL... |
| 222 | I'LL JUST CALL HER BACK. |
| 223 | OKAY. |
| 224 | OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME? |
| 225 | A WEEK AGO, TWO WEEKS AGO, I WAS FINE. |
| 226 | ROSS WAS JUST ROSS. |
| 227 | JUST THIS GUY. |
| 228 | NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE'S ROSS... |
| 229 | OH, THIS REALLY GREAT GUY THAT I CAN'T HAVE. |
| 230 | SWEETIE, I WANTED YOU TO HAVE HIM TOO. |
| 231 | I KNOW YOU DID. |
| 232 | I'M JUST GOING TO DEAL WITH IT. |
| 233 | ( kissing sounds ) |
| 234 | I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. |
| 235 | OKAY, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU GUYS SAY. |
| 236 | SOMETHING IS BOTHERING HER. |
| 237 | YOU KNOW, I THINK I WAS 16. |
| 238 | PLEASE. JUST A LITTLE BIT OFF THE BACK? |
| 239 | UM, I'M STILL ON NO. |
| 240 | UH, MORNING. |
| 241 | HEY. HEY. |
| 242 | COULD YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR A SEC? |
| 243 | OH, NO, NO. |
| 244 | I'M NOT FALLING FOR THAT AGAIN. |
| 245 | WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 246 | WELL, I SORT OF DID A STUPID THING LAST NIGHT. |
| 247 | WHAT STUPID THING DID YOU DO? |
| 248 | BONGIORNO, TUTTI! |
| 249 | EW! |
| 250 | PAOLO, GO GET DRESSED |
| 251 | AND YOU BE ON YOUR WAY. |
| 252 | OKAY. BYE-BYE. |
| 253 | RACHEL, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? |
| 254 | I JUST KIND OF RAN INTO HIM LAST NIGHT. |
| 255 | WHERE? AT HIS APARTMENT. |
| 256 | IS THIS JUICE? |
| 257 | WHOA, WHOA. |
| 258 | AND THE FACT THAT YOU DUMPED HIM |
| 259 | 'CAUSE HE HIT ON PHOEBE? |
| 260 | OH, GOD, I KNOW I'M PATHETIC. |
| 261 | I'M A LOSER. |
| 262 | HONEY, YOU'RE NOT PATHETIC. |
| 263 | YOU'RE JUST... YOU'RE SAD. |
| 264 | YEAH, PEOPLE DO STUPID THINGS WHEN THEY'RE UPSET. |
| 265 | MY GOD, IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY GUY |
| 266 | I WISH I HADN'T... |
| 267 | BUT THIS IS ABOUT YOUR HORRIBLE MISTAKE. |
| 268 | HI. |
| 269 | HEY. HEY. |
| 270 | HEY. |
| 271 | SORRY WE'RE LATE. |
| 272 | WE WERE, UH... |
| 273 | WELL, THERE WAS TOUCHING. |
| 274 | HEY... |
| 275 | OH... |
| 276 | HEY, ROSS! PAOLO. |
| 277 | WHAT A... |
| 278 | WHAT, UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? |
| 279 | I DO RACQUELA. AH. |
| 280 | SO, UH, HE'S BACK. |
| 281 | YEAH, HE'S BACK. |
| 282 | IS THAT A PROBLEM? |
| 283 | NO. NOT A PROBLEM. |
| 284 | GOOD. GLAD IT'S NOT A PROBLEM. |
| 285 | OKAY, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO NOT TOUCH MY ASS. |
| 286 | WELL... |
| 287 | DESPITE THE YUMMY BAGELS |
| 288 | AND PALPABLE TENSION |
| 289 | I'VE GOT PANTS THAT NEED TO BE ALTERED. |
| 290 | HEY, CHANDLER, WHEN YOU SEE FRANKIE |
| 291 | TELL HIM JOEY TRIBBIANI SAYS HELLO. |
| 292 | HE'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. |
| 293 | YOU SURE HE'S GOING TO BE ABLE TO CRACK THAT CODE? |
| 294 | YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY, THE LAST TIME PAOLO WAS HERE |
| 295 | MY HAIR WAS SO MUCH SHORTER AND CUTER. |
| 296 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 297 | OKAY, BUT, BUT |
| 298 | YOU HAVE TO PROMISE THAT |
| 299 | YOU WILL NOT BE ALL CONTROL-Y AND BOSSY |
| 300 | AND ALL, YOU KNOW, MONICA ABOUT IT. |
| 301 | I PROMISE. |
| 302 | ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE. |
| 303 | NOW, SOME OF YOU ARE GOING TO GET CUT |
| 304 | AND SOME OF YOU AREN'T |
| 305 | BUT I PROMISE, NONE OF YOU WILL FEEL A THING. |
| 306 | OKAY. |
| 307 | ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. I QUIT. |
| 308 | WHAT? I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. |
| 309 | YEAH, BUT THIS ISN'T THE FACE |
| 310 | OF A PERSON WHO TRUSTS A PERSON, OKAY? |
| 311 | THIS IS THE FACE OF A PERSON |
| 312 | WHO, YOU KNOW, DOESN'T TRUST A PERSON. |
| 313 | I'M SORRY. SORRY, PHOEBE. |
| 314 | IT'S JUST, WELL, IT'S JUST A LITTLE SHORTER |
| 315 | THAN WHAT WE HAD DISCUSSED. |
| 316 | WOULD YOU RELAX? |
| 317 | I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING. |
| 318 | THIS IS HOW HE WEARS IT. |
| 319 | HOW WHO WEARS IT? |
| 320 | DEMI MOORE. |
| 321 | DEMI MOORE IS NOT A HE. |
| 322 | WELL, HE WAS A HE IN ARTHUR AND IN TEN. |
| 323 | THAT'S DUDLEY MOORE. |
| 324 | I SAID I WANTED IT LIKE DEMI MOORE. |
| 325 | OH. OH! |
| 326 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 327 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 328 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 329 | I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! |
| 330 | WHICH ONE IS DEMI MOORE? |
| 331 | SHE'S THE ACTRESS THAT WAS IN DISCLOSURE |
| 332 | INDECENT PROPOSAL, GHOST. |
| 333 | OH. OH, SHE'S GOT GORGEOUS HAIR. |
| 334 | I KNOW!!! |
| 335 | OH, GOD! |
| 336 | HOW LONG DO YOU WANT THE CUFFS? |
| 337 | AH, AT LEAST AS LONG AS I HAVE THE PANTS. |
| 338 | I JUST GOT THAT. |
| 339 | OKAY, NOW WE'LL DO YOUR INSEAM. |
| 340 | HOW IS SHE? |
| 341 | IT'S TOO SOON TO TELL. |
| 342 | SHE'S RESTING, WHICH IS A GOOD SIGN. |
| 343 | HOW'S THE HAIR? |
| 344 | I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU, ROSS. |
| 345 | IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD. |
| 346 | I PUT A CLIP ON ONE SIDE |
| 347 | WHICH SEEMS TO HAVE STOPPED THE CURLING. |
| 348 | WELL, CAN WE SEE HER? |
| 349 | YOUR HAIR LOOKS TOO GOOD. |
| 350 | IT WOULD UPSET HER. |
| 351 | ROSS, WHY DON'T YOU COME ON IN? |
| 352 | WELL, HOW ARE YOU DOING? |
| 353 | I'M OKAY. |
| 354 | OH, THAT BAD, HUH? |
| 355 | WHAT? |
| 356 | LOOK, RACH, I CAN SENSE |
| 357 | WHEN WOMEN ARE DEPRESSED AND VULNERABLE. |
| 358 | IT'S ONE OF MY GIFTS. |
| 359 | SIT. |
| 360 | ( sighing ) |
| 361 | OH, JOEY, WHEN I SAW HIM |
| 362 | GET OFF THAT PLANE WITH HER |
| 363 | I REALLY THOUGHT I HAD JUST HIT ROCK BOTTOM |
| 364 | BUT TODAY, IT'S LIKE THERE'S ROCK BOTTOM |
| 365 | 50 FEET OF CRAP, THEN ME. |
| 366 | YOU GOT TO TELL ROSS HOW YOU FEEL. |
| 367 | HOW CAN I JUST TELL HIM? WHAT ABOUT JULIE? |
| 368 | WHAT ABOUT HER? THEY'VE ONLY BEEN GOING OUT FOR TWO WEEKS. |
| 369 | ROSS HAS BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU |
| 370 | FOR, LIKE, TEN YEARS. |
| 371 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 372 | LOOK, RACH, RACH |
| 373 | I'VE BEEN WITH MY SHARE OF WOMEN. |
| 374 | IN FACT, I'VE BEEN WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE'S SHARE OF WOMEN. |
| 375 | BUT THE POINT IS, I'VE NEVER FELT ABOUT ANYONE |
| 376 | THE WAY ROSS FELT ABOUT YOU. |
| 377 | YO, PAISAN. |
| 378 | CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC? |
| 379 | YOUR TAILOR IS A VERY BAD MAN. |
| 380 | FRANKIE? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? |
| 381 | HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 382 | JOEY'S TAILOR... |
| 383 | TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME. |
| 384 | WHAT? |
| 385 | NO WAY. |
| 386 | I'VE BEEN GOING TO THE GUY FOR 12 YEARS. |
| 387 | HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO DO MY INSEAM. |
| 388 | THEN HE RAN HIS HAND UP MY LEG |
| 389 | AND THEN, THERE WAS DEFINITE... |
| 390 | WHAT? |
| 391 | CUPPING. |
| 392 | THAT'S HOW THEY DO PANTS. |
| 393 | FIRST THEY GO UP |
| 394 | ONE SIDE, THEY MOVE IT OVER |
| 395 | THEN THEY GO UP THE OTHER SIDE |
| 396 | THEY MOVE IT BACK, AND THEN THEY DO THE REAR. |
| 397 | WHAT? ROSS, WILL YOU TELL HIM? |
| 398 | ISN'T THAT HOW A TAILOR MEASURES PANTS? |
| 399 | YES, YES, IT IS-- IN PRISON! |
| 400 | WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? |
| 401 | WHAT? |
| 402 | THAT'S NOT..? |
| 403 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 404 | EVEN MARY TYLER MOORE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. |
| 405 | WELL, I LIKE IT. |
| 406 | YEAH, I DO. I THINK IT'S A TEN. |
| 407 | ( cracking up ) |
| 408 | THANK YOU. |
| 409 | MY HAIR IS VERY AMUSED. |
| 410 | OH, COME ON, MONICA. THINGS COULD BE WORSE. |
| 411 | I MEAN, UH... YOU COULD GET CAUGHT |
| 412 | BETWEEN THE MOON AND NEW YORK CITY. |
| 413 | I KNOW IT'S CRAZY, BUT IT'S TRUE. |
| 414 | ( laughing ) |
| 415 | THANK YOU. |
| 416 | WELL, I GOT TO GO. BYE. |
| 417 | SEE YA. |
| 418 | BYE, RACH. |
| 419 | OH, WAIT. |
| 420 | ARE, ARE YOU LEAVING |
| 421 | THAT'S KIND OF WHAT I MEANT BY "BYE." |
| 422 | WELL, UH, COULD I TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC? |
| 423 | OKAY. |
| 424 | HEY, WHEN THE DOCTOR DOES THAT HERNIA TEST..? |
| 425 | THAT'S OKAY. |
| 426 | WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 427 | UM... |
| 428 | WELL, UM, OKAY, FIRST OF ALL... |
| 429 | PAOLO AND I ARE NOT BACK TOGETHER. |
| 430 | THAT WAS JUST A STUPID THING THAT I DID |
| 431 | AND IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME |
| 432 | AND DO IT AGAIN, WELL, I WOULDN'T. |
| 433 | ( clearing throat ) |
| 434 | UM... SECOND OF ALL... |
| 435 | WHAT? |
| 436 | OKAY. |
| 437 | BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING I JUST NEED TO KNOW |
| 438 | IS THIS ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE YOU BREAK UP WITH A GUY |
| 439 | AND THEN I TELL YOU WHAT I THINK, AND THEN, |
| 440 | THE NEXT DAY, YOU GET BACK TOGETHER WITH THE GUY |
| 441 | AND I LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT? |
| 442 | NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. |
| 443 | OKAY, UM, WELL, THEN, I THINK THE GUY'S SCUM. |
| 444 | I HATE HIM. |
| 445 | I MEAN, I ACTU... |
| 446 | I-I PHYSICALLY HATE HIM. |
| 447 | YOU KNOW? I ALWAYS HAVE, AND YOU, YOU ARE... |
| 448 | YOU'RE WAY TOO GOOD TO BE WITH A GUY LIKE THAT. |
| 449 | REALLY? |
| 450 | YOU DESERVE TO BE WITH SOMEONE |
| 451 | WHO APPRECIATES YOU, YOU KNOW |
| 452 | AND WHO GETS HOW... HOW FUNNY |
| 453 | AND SWEET AND AMAZING |
| 454 | AND ADORABLE AND... |
| 455 | SEXY YOU ARE, YOU KNOW? |
| 456 | SOMEONE WHO WAKES UP EVERY MORNING |
| 457 | THINKING, "OH, MY GOD. I'M, I-I'M WITH RACHEL!" |
| 458 | YOU KNOW? SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD. |
| 459 | LIKE THE WAY I DO WITH JULIE. |
| 460 | WAS THERE A... A "SECOND OF ALL"? |
| 461 | UH... NO. UM, |
| 462 | I THINK THAT WAS THE WHOLE ALL. |
| 463 | I GOT TO GO. |
| 464 | OKAY? OKAY. |
| 465 | THANKS. |
| 466 | OKAY. |
| 467 | BYE. |
| 468 | NO, I SWEAR TO GOD, DAD, |
| 469 | THAT'S NOT HOW THEY MEASURE PANTS. |
| 470 | I SEE IT A LITTLE SHORTER... |
| 471 | YOU KNOW, LIKE ANDIE McDOWELL'S NEW HAIRCUT? |
| 472 | OH, I COULD DO THAT. |
| 473 | REALLY? YEAH. |
| 474 | WANT TO DO IT NOW? GREAT. |
| 475 | OKAY. OKAY. |
| 476 | SEE YOU. |
| 477 | BYE. |
| 478 | OKAY, I WANT TO MAKE REALLY SURE THIS TIME. |
| 479 | ANDIE McDOWELL IS THE GIRL |
| 480 | FROM FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL, RIGHT? |
| 481 | NO. |
| 482 | NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. |
| 483 | THAT'S RODDY McDOWELL. |
| 484 | ANDIE McDOWELL IS THE GUY FROM PLANET OF THE APES. |
| 485 | OH, YEAH. |
| 486 | THANK YOU. |
| 487 | YOU'RE WELCOME. |
| 488 | |
| 1 | OKAY, THESE WERE UNBELIEVABLY EXPENSIVE |
| 2 | AND I KNOW HE'S GOING TO GROW OUT OF THEM IN, LIKE, 20 MINUTES, |
| 3 | BUT I COULDN'T RESIST! |
| 4 | ( everyone oohing and ahhing ) |
| 5 | OH, LOOK AT THESE. |
| 6 | HEY, BEN, JUST DO IT. |
| 7 | ( crying ) |
| 8 | OH, MY GOD. OHH! |
| 9 | OKAY, WAS THAT TOO MUCH PRESSURE FOR HIM? |
| 10 | ( crying louder ) |
| 11 | WOW, IS HE HUNGRY ALREADY? |
| 12 | I GUESS SO. |
| 13 | YOU KNOW, IT'S... |
| 14 | SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT SNEAKERS. |
| 15 | I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. |
| 16 | UH... UH... UH... I GOT TO GET ONE TOO. |
| 17 | HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? |
| 18 | WE'RE JUST HANGING OUT BY THE SPOONS |
| 19 | AND THE LADLE. |
| 20 | LOOK, WILL YOU GUYS GROW UP? |
| 21 | THIS IS THE MOST NATURAL, BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD. |
| 22 | YEAH, WE KNOW, BUT THERE'S A BABY SUCKING ON IT. |
| 23 | THIS IS MY SON HAVING LUNCH, OKAY? |
| 24 | IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN A LOT SO YOU BETTER GET USED TO IT. |
| 25 | IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEM WITH IT |
| 26 | IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE, JUST ASK QUESTIONS. |
| 27 | CAROL'S FINE WITH IT. COME ON. |
| 28 | CAROL? |
| 29 | CAROL? |
| 30 | I WAS JUST WONDERING IF JOEY COULD ASK YOU |
| 31 | A QUESTION ABOUT BREAST-FEEDING. |
| 32 | SURE. |
| 33 | UH... |
| 34 | DOES IT HURT? |
| 35 | OH, IT DID AT FIRST, BUT NOT ANYMORE. |
| 36 | OH. |
| 37 | CHANDLER? |
| 38 | SO, UH... HOW OFTEN CAN YOU DO IT? |
| 39 | AS MUCH AS HE NEEDS. |
| 40 | OH, OH, OKAY, I GOT ONE. I GOT ONE. |
| 41 | UH... |
| 42 | IF HE BLOWS INTO ONE, DOES THE OTHER ONE GET BIGGER? |
| 43 | GET OUT. GET OUT. |
| 44 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU ♪ |
| 45 | ♪ LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 46 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 47 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 48 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 49 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 50 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 51 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 52 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO POUR ♪ |
| 53 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 54 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 55 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 56 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 57 | RACHEL, DO YOU HAVE ANY MUFFINS LEFT? |
| 58 | YEAH, I FORGET WHICH ONES. |
| 59 | OH, YOU'RE BUSY. THAT'S OKAY. I'LL GET IT. |
| 60 | OH, ANYONE ELSE WANT ONE? |
| 61 | NO, THANKS. NO, I'M ALL SET. |
| 62 | OH, YOU'RE LOSING YOUR APRON HERE. |
| 63 | LET ME GET IT. |
| 64 | OH. |
| 65 | THERE YOU GO. THANK YOU. |
| 66 | ( sighs ) |
| 67 | WHAT A BITCH. |
| 68 | LISTEN, YOU GUYS, I HAVE THIS FRIEND AT BLOOMINGDALE'S |
| 69 | WHO'S QUITTING TOMORROW AND HE WANTS TO ABUSE HIS DISCOUNT. |
| 70 | SO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO COME WITH ME AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT? |
| 71 | I CAN'T. I HAVE TO TAKE MY GRANDMOTHER TO THE VET. |
| 72 | OKAY. |
| 73 | UM, I'LL GO WITH YOU. |
| 74 | GREAT. |
| 75 | OKAY. |
| 76 | HI, HONEY. |
| 77 | HEY, SWEETUMS. |
| 78 | AND HELLO TO THE REST. |
| 79 | ( everyone says hi ) |
| 80 | MONICA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CAN'T GO SHOPPING WITH HER. |
| 81 | WHAT ABOUT RACHEL? |
| 82 | THIS IS GOING TO BE A PROBLEM, ISN'T IT? OH, COME ON, |
| 83 | YOU'RE GOING TO BLOOMINGDALE'S WITH JULIE? |
| 84 | IT'S LIKE CHEATING ON RACHEL IN HER HOUSE OF WORSHIP. |
| 85 | I JUST WANT TO... |
| 86 | MONICA, SHE WILL KILL YOU. |
| 87 | SHE WILL KILL YOU LIKE A DOG IN THE STREET. |
| 88 | SO, UH, JULES TELLS ME |
| 89 | YOU GUYS ARE GOING SHOPPING TOMORROW. |
| 90 | OH, YEAH, IT'S ACTUALLY NOT THAT BIG A DEAL. |
| 91 | WELL, IT'S A BIG DEAL TO ME. |
| 92 | THIS IS GREAT, MONICA. I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS. |
| 93 | YOU'RE WELCOME. |
| 94 | WOOF! WOOF! |
| 95 | ( panting ) |
| 96 | ( imitating crash ) |
| 97 | BIJAN FOR MEN? |
| 98 | BIJAN FOR MEN? |
| 99 | BIJAN FOR MEN? |
| 100 | HEY, ANNABEL. HEY, JOEY. |
| 101 | DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW GUY? |
| 102 | WHO? |
| 103 | NOBODY KNOWS HIS NAME. |
| 104 | ME AND THE GIRLS JUST CALL HIM |
| 105 | THE "HOMBRE MAN." |
| 106 | ( spurs jingling ) |
| 107 | ( as Clint Eastwood ): HOMBRE? |
| 108 | WHAT'S HE DOING IN MY SECTION? |
| 109 | I GUESS HE DOESN'T KNOW. |
| 110 | WELL, HE'S GOING TO. |
| 111 | I'LL SEE YOU A LITTLE LATER, OKAY? |
| 112 | HEY, HOW YOU DOING? |
| 113 | MORNING. |
| 114 | LISTEN, UH, I KNOW YOU'RE NEW |
| 115 | BUT, UH, IT'S KIND OF UNDERSTOOD THAT EVERYTHING |
| 116 | FROM "YOUNG MEN'S" TO THE ESCALATOR |
| 117 | IS, UH, MY TERRITORY. |
| 118 | YOUR TERRITORY, HUH? |
| 119 | YEAH. |
| 120 | BIJAN FOR MEN? NO, THANKS. |
| 121 | HOMBRE? |
| 122 | YEAH. ALL RIGHT. |
| 123 | YOU WERE SAYING? |
| 124 | PHOEBE, ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, |
| 125 | YOU WERE WITH ME, AND WE WERE SHOPPING ALL DAY. WHAT? |
| 126 | WE WERE SHOPPING, AND WE HAD LUNCH. |
| 127 | ALL RIGHT. WHAT DID I HAVE? |
| 128 | YOU HAD A SALAD. |
| 129 | OH, NO WONDER I DON'T FEEL FULL. |
| 130 | HI, GUYS. WHAT'S UP? |
| 131 | I WENT SHOPPING WITH MONICA ALL DAY |
| 132 | AND I HAD A SALAD. |
| 133 | GOOD, PHEEBS. |
| 134 | WHAT DID YOU BUY? |
| 135 | UM, WE WENT SHOPPING FOR, UM... |
| 136 | FOR, UM... |
| 137 | FOR FUR. |
| 138 | YOU WENT SHOPPING FOR FUR? |
| 139 | YEAH. |
| 140 | AND THEN I REALIZED THAT I'M AGAINST THAT |
| 141 | AND, UH... |
| 142 | SO THEN WE BOUGHT SOME, UM... |
| 143 | UM... BOOBS. |
| 144 | ( laughing ) |
| 145 | YOU BOUGHT BOOBS? |
| 146 | BRAS! |
| 147 | WE BOUGHT BRAS! |
| 148 | WE BOUGHT BRAS. |
| 149 | BIJAN FOR MEN? |
| 150 | BIJAN FOR MEN? |
| 151 | BIJAN FOR M... |
| 152 | HEY, ANNABEL |
| 153 | LISTEN, I WAS WONDERING IF, AFTER WORK |
| 154 | YOU AND I COULD GO OUT AND GRAB A CUP OF COFFEE. |
| 155 | ACTUALLY, I SORT OF HAVE PLANS. |
| 156 | OH. |
| 157 | YOU READY, ANNABEL? |
| 158 | YOU BET. |
| 159 | MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME. |
| 160 | YEAH. |
| 161 | HEY, IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME I LOST A GIRL |
| 162 | TO A COWBOY SPRAYING COLOGNE. |
| 163 | BIJAN FOR MEN? |
| 164 | BIJAN FOR MEN?! |
| 165 | OKAY, AND THIS IS FUNNY CLOWN. |
| 166 | FUNNY CLOWN IS ONLY FOR AFTER HIS NAPS. |
| 167 | NOT BEFORE HIS NAPS OR HE WON'T SLEEP. |
| 168 | CAROL, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE. |
| 169 | WE HAVE A GOOD TIME. |
| 170 | WE LAUGH, WE PLAY. |
| 171 | IT'S LIKE WE'RE FATHER AND SON. |
| 172 | HONEY, RELAX. |
| 173 | ROSS IS GREAT WITH HIM. |
| 174 | DON'T LOOK SO SURPRISED. |
| 175 | I'M A LOVELY PERSON. |
| 176 | OH, THIS IS SO CUTE. |
| 177 | OH, I GOT THAT FOR HIM. |
| 178 | "MY MOMMIES LOVE ME." |
| 179 | THAT'S CLEVER. |
| 180 | ( phone ringing ) |
| 181 | HELLO? |
| 182 | OH, HI, JULES... |
| 183 | HI, JEW! |
| 184 | UH-HUH. |
| 185 | UH-HUH. |
| 186 | OKAY, UM, SURE. THAT WOULD BE GREAT. |
| 187 | SEE YOU THEN. BYE. |
| 188 | DID YOU JUST SAY, "HI, JEW"? |
| 189 | YES. UM, YES, I DID. |
| 190 | THAT WAS MY FRIEND EDDIE MOSKOWITZ. |
| 191 | YEAH, HE LIKES IT. |
| 192 | REAFFIRMS HIS FAITH. |
| 193 | BEN, DINNER! |
| 194 | THANKS, AUNT PHEEBS. |
| 195 | HEY, YOU DIDN'T MICROWAVE THAT, DID YOU? |
| 196 | BECAUSE IT'S BREAST MILK AND YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT. |
| 197 | DUH, I THINK I KNOW HOW TO HEAT BREAST MILK. |
| 198 | OKAY. (all scream) |
| 199 | WHAT DID YOU JUST DO? |
| 200 | I LICKED MY ARM. WHAT? |
| 201 | IT-IT-IT'S BREAST MILK. |
| 202 | SO? |
| 203 | PHOEBE, THAT IS JUICE |
| 204 | SQUEEZED FROM A PERSON. |
| 205 | WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL? |
| 206 | NO. JOEY-- |
| 207 | OH, MY-- |
| 208 | AAH! WHAT DID YOU JUST DO? |
| 209 | OKAY, CAN PEOPLE STOP DRINKING THE BREAST MILK? |
| 210 | YOU WON'T EVEN TASTE IT? |
| 211 | NO. |
| 212 | NOT EVEN IF YOU JUST PRETEND THAT IT'S MILK? |
| 213 | NOT EVEN IF CAROL'S BREAST |
| 214 | HAD A PICTURE OF A MISSING CHILD ON IT. |
| 215 | HEY. HEY. |
| 216 | WHERE IS EVERYBODY? |
| 217 | THEY TOOK BEN TO THE PARK. |
| 218 | WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? |
| 219 | JUST OUT. |
| 220 | HAD SOME LUNCH, JUST ME. |
| 221 | LITTLE QUALITY TIME WITH ME. |
| 222 | HEY, THANKS FOR YOUR JACKET. |
| 223 | NO PROBLEM. |
| 224 | YOU CAN BORROW IT, BY THE WAY. |
| 225 | OH, HERE ARE YOUR KEYS, HON. |
| 226 | THANK YOU. |
| 227 | MON? MM-HMM? |
| 228 | IF, UH, YOU WERE AT LUNCH ALONE, HOW COME IT COST YOU $53? |
| 229 | YOU KNOW WHAT PROBABLY HAPPENED? |
| 230 | SOMEONE MUST HAVE STOLEN MY CREDIT CARD. |
| 231 | OH. |
| 232 | AND SORT OF JUST PUT THE RECEIPT BACK IN YOUR POCKET? |
| 233 | HUH. |
| 234 | THAT IS AN EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT QUESTION. |
| 235 | THAT IS EXCELLENT. |
| 236 | MONICA, WHAT'S WITH YOU? WHO DID YOU HAVE LUNCH WITH? |
| 237 | JUDY. WHO? |
| 238 | JULIE. WHAT? |
| 239 | JODY. |
| 240 | YOU WERE WITH JULIE? |
| 241 | OH, LOOK. |
| 242 | WHEN IT STARTED I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE NICE TO HER |
| 243 | BECAUSE SHE WAS MY BROTHER'S GIRLFRIEND. |
| 244 | AND THEN, ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER, AND... |
| 245 | BEFORE I KNEW IT, WE WERE... |
| 246 | SHOPPING. |
| 247 | OH! |
| 248 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 249 | HONEY, WAIT. WE ONLY DID IT ONCE. |
| 250 | IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME. |
| 251 | YEAH. |
| 252 | YEAH, RIGHT. SURE. REALLY. |
| 253 | RACHEL, I WAS THINKING OF YOU THE WHOLE TIME. |
| 254 | YEAH, RIGHT. |
| 255 | LOOK. I'M SORRY, ALL RIGHT? |
| 256 | I NEVER MEANT FOR YOU TO FIND OUT. |
| 257 | OH, PLEASE! |
| 258 | PLEASE! YOU WANTED TO GET CAUGHT! |
| 259 | THAT IS NOT TRUE. |
| 260 | YOU JUST HAPPENED TO LEAVE IT IN HERE? |
| 261 | DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT I MIGHT JUST BE THAT STUPID? |
| 262 | OKAY, MONICA, I JUST HAVE TO KNOW ONE THING. |
| 263 | ( sighs ) |
| 264 | DID YOU GO WITH HER TO BLOOMINGDALE'S? |
| 265 | OHH! |
| 266 | OKAY. |
| 267 | OKAY. |
| 268 | OKAY, I JUST REALLY, UH... |
| 269 | I JUST REALLY NEED TO NOT BE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW. |
| 270 | YEAH, HI. WHO'S THIS? HI, JOANNE. |
| 271 | IS RACHEL WORKING? IT'S MONICA. |
| 272 | YES, I KNOW I DID A HORRIBLE THING. |
| 273 | JOANNE, IT'S NOT AS SIMPLE AS ALL THAT, OKAY? |
| 274 | NO, I DON'T CARE WHAT STEVE THINKS. |
| 275 | HI, STEVE. |
| 276 | ( knocking ) |
| 277 | HEY. HEY. |
| 278 | HOW DID WE DO? |
| 279 | OH, I TASTED BEN'S MILK AND ROSS FREAKED OUT. |
| 280 | I DID NOT FREAK OUT. |
| 281 | WHY'D YOU FREAK OUT? BECAUSE IT'S BREAST MILK. |
| 282 | IT-IT... |
| 283 | IT'S GROSS. |
| 284 | MY BREAST MILK IS GROSS? |
| 285 | THIS SHOULD BE FUN. |
| 286 | NO. NO, CAROL. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. |
| 287 | I JUST DON'T THINK BREAST MILK IS FOR ADULTS. |
| 288 | OF COURSE, THE PACKAGING DOES APPEAL TO GROWNUPS |
| 289 | AND KIDS ALIKE. |
| 290 | ROSS, YOU'RE BEING SILLY. I'VE TRIED IT. |
| 291 | IT'S NO BIG DEAL. COME ON, JUST TASTE IT. |
| 292 | ( phony laughing ) |
| 293 | THAT WOULD BE "NO." |
| 294 | COME ON. COME ON, TRY IT. |
| 295 | IT'S NATURAL. NO. |
| 296 | IT DOESN'T TASTE BAD. |
| 297 | YEAH. IT TASTES KIND OF SWEET-- |
| 298 | SORT OF LIKE, UH... |
| 299 | LIKE WHAT? |
| 300 | CANTALOUPE JUICE. |
| 301 | EXACTLY. |
| 302 | YOU'VE TASTED IT. |
| 303 | YOU'VE-YOU'VE-YOU'VE TASTED IT? |
| 304 | UH-HUH. |
| 305 | OH, YOU'VE TASTED IT. |
| 306 | YOU CAN KEEP SAYING IT, BUT IT WON'T STOP BEING TRUE. |
| 307 | GET ME THE BOTTLE. |
| 308 | GET ME THE TOWEL. |
| 309 | HOWDY. |
| 310 | GET ME A BOX OF JUICE. |
| 311 | WELL, THEY SWITCHED ME OVER TO HOMBRE. |
| 312 | WELL, MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE OF THE WAY |
| 313 | YOU'RE DRESSED. |
| 314 | OR MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE |
| 315 | THIS GUY'S DOING SO GOOD |
| 316 | THEY WANT TO PUT MORE PEOPLE ON IT. |
| 317 | YOU SHOULD SEE THIS GUY, CHANDLER. |
| 318 | HE GOES THROUGH, LIKE, TWO BOTTLES A DAY NOW. |
| 319 | SO WHAT DO YOU CARE? |
| 320 | YOU'RE AN ACTOR. THIS IS YOUR DAY JOB. |
| 321 | THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU. |
| 322 | I KNOW, BUT I WAS THE BEST, YOU KNOW? |
| 323 | I LIKED BEING THE BEST. |
| 324 | I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GET OUT OF THE GAME. |
| 325 | THEY NEED GUYS UP IN HOUSEWARES TO SERVE CHEESE. |
| 326 | ALL RIGHT, SAY YOU DO THAT. SOONER OR LATER, |
| 327 | SOMEBODY'S GOING TO COME ALONG THAT SLICES A BETTER CHEDDAR. |
| 328 | AND THEN WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO RUN? |
| 329 | YEAH,I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M RIGHT. |
| 330 | I SAY YOU SHOW THIS GUY WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF. |
| 331 | I SAY YOU STAND YOUR GROUND. |
| 332 | I SAY YOU SHOW HIM THAT YOU ARE |
| 333 | THE BADDEST HOMBRE WEST OF THE LINGERIE. |
| 334 | I'M GOING TO DO IT. |
| 335 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 336 | NOW GO SEE MISS KITTY, AND SHE'LL FIX YOU UP WITH A NICE HOOKER. |
| 337 | I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY. |
| 338 | WELL, THAT WORKS OUT GOOD |
| 339 | 'CAUSE I'M NOT LISTENING. |
| 340 | I FEEL TERRIBLE. I REALLY DO. |
| 341 | OH, I'M SORRY. DID MY BACK HURT YOUR KNIFE? |
| 342 | RACHEL... |
| 343 | SAY THAT I'M FRIENDS WITH HER. |
| 344 | WE SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER. |
| 345 | IS THAT SO TERRIBLE? |
| 346 | YES. IT'S THAT TERRIBLE? |
| 347 | YES, MONICA. YOU DON'T GET IT. |
| 348 | IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT SHE STOLE THE GUY |
| 349 | WHO MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE PERSON THAT I AM SUPPOSED TO BE WITH |
| 350 | BUT NOW... |
| 351 | SHE'S ACTUALLY... |
| 352 | BUT NOW SHE'S ACTUALLY STEALING YOU. |
| 353 | ME? |
| 354 | WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? |
| 355 | NOBODY COULD STEAL ME FROM YOU. |
| 356 | I MEAN, JUST BECAUSE I'M FRIENDS WITH HER |
| 357 | DOESN'T MAKE ME ANY LESS FRIENDS WITH YOU. |
| 358 | I MEAN... |
| 359 | I MEAN, YOU'RE MY... |
| 360 | WE'RE... |
| 361 | ( both crying ) |
| 362 | OH, I LOVE YOU. |
| 363 | I LOVE YOU TOO. |
| 364 | ( crying ) |
| 365 | YOU GUYS, UM... |
| 366 | I KNOW THAT THIS REALLY DOESN'T HAVE |
| 367 | ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME |
| 368 | BUT, UM... I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO. |
| 369 | OH, I REALLY NEEDED THAT. |
| 370 | LOOK, I KNOW THAT YOU'RE IN A PLACE RIGHT NOW |
| 371 | WHERE YOU REALLY NEED TO HATE JULIE'S GUTS |
| 372 | BUT... SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. |
| 373 | I MEAN, SHE'S JUST A GIRL WHO MET A GUY |
| 374 | AND NOW THEY GO OUT. |
| 375 | AND I REALLY THINK THAT IF YOU GAVE HER A CHANCE |
| 376 | YOU'D LIKE HER. |
| 377 | WILL YOU JUST GIVE THAT A CHANCE? |
| 378 | FOR ME? |
| 379 | I'D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. YOU KNOW THAT. |
| 380 | I'D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU! |
| 381 | I KNOW. |
| 382 | WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! |
| 383 | MORNING. |
| 384 | I SAID MORNING. |
| 385 | I HEARD YOU. |
| 386 | ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY. |
| 387 | I'M OPENING THE DOORS. |
| 388 | YOU BOYS READY? |
| 389 | READY. |
| 390 | YEAH, I'M READY. |
| 391 | ( yelling ) |
| 392 | YOU IDIOT! |
| 393 | YOU STUPID COWBOY! |
| 394 | YOU BLINDED ME! I'M SUING! |
| 395 | OH, MY GOD! TODD! |
| 396 | WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?! |
| 397 | I'M SORRY. I'M SUCH A DUFUS. |
| 398 | I'M SO SORRY. |
| 399 | I'M SO SORRY. |
| 400 | MY GOD. WHAT HAPPENED? |
| 401 | AH, THESE NEW KIDS, THEY NEVER LAST. |
| 402 | SOONER OR LATER, THEY ALL... |
| 403 | STOP LASTING. |
| 404 | LISTEN, UH... |
| 405 | WHAT DO YOU SAY I BUY YOU THAT CUP OF COFFEE NOW? |
| 406 | SURE. |
| 407 | SO... |
| 408 | SO... |
| 409 | I JUST THOUGHT THE TWO OF US SHOULD HANG OUT FOR A BIT. |
| 410 | YOU KNOW, WE'VE NEVER REALLY TALKED. |
| 411 | I GUESS YOU'D KNOW THAT, BEING ONE OF THE TWO OF US |
| 412 | RIGHT? |
| 413 | NO, I KNOW. |
| 414 | I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T EVEN TELL YOU THIS |
| 415 | BUT I'M PRETTY MUCH |
| 416 | TOTALLY INTIMIDATED BY YOU. |
| 417 | REALLY? ME? |
| 418 | OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU KIDDING? |
| 419 | ROSS IS SO CRAZY ABOUT YOU |
| 420 | AND I REALLY WANTED YOU TO LIKE ME |
| 421 | AND I, UH... |
| 422 | IT'S PROBABLY ME JUST BEING TOTALLY PARANOID |
| 423 | BUT I KIND OF GOT THE FEELING |
| 424 | THAT MAYBE YOU DON'T. |
| 425 | WELL... |
| 426 | YOU'RE NOT TOTALLY PARANOID. |
| 427 | OY. |
| 428 | UM... |
| 429 | OKAY. UM... |
| 430 | OH, GOD. |
| 431 | UM... |
| 432 | WHEN YOU AND ROSS FIRST STARTED GOING OUT |
| 433 | IT WAS REALLY HARD FOR ME, UM... |
| 434 | FOR MANY REASONS |
| 435 | OF WHICH I'M NOT GOING TO BORE YOU WITH NOW |
| 436 | BUT, UM... |
| 437 | I JUST... I SEE HOW HAPPY HE IS, YOU KNOW |
| 438 | AND HOW GOOD YOU GUYS ARE TOGETHER |
| 439 | AND, UM... |
| 440 | MONICA'S ALWAYS SAYING HOW NICE YOU ARE |
| 441 | AND GOD, I HATE IT WHEN SHE'S RIGHT. |
| 442 | THANKS. |
| 443 | YEAH. |
| 444 | HEY, LISTEN... |
| 445 | WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO A MOVIE SOMETIME OR SOMETHING? |
| 446 | YEAH. THAT WOULD BE GREAT. |
| 447 | YEAH? I'D LOVE IT. |
| 448 | I'D LOVE IT TOO. |
| 449 | OKAY. |
| 450 | OH, SHOOT. I GOT TO GO. OKAY. |
| 451 | SO I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, OKAY? |
| 452 | ALL RIGHT, JULIE. |
| 453 | BYE. BYE. |
| 454 | WHAT A MANIPULATIVE BITCH. |
| 455 | ( sighs ) |
| 456 | NOT BAD. |
| 457 | |
| 1 | HEY. |
| 2 | HEY. |
| 3 | SO HOW WAS JOAN? |
| 4 | BROKE UP WITH HER. |
| 5 | OH... WHY? |
| 6 | DON'T TELL ME. |
| 7 | BECAUSE OF THE BIG-NOSTRIL THING? |
| 8 | THEY WERE HUGE. |
| 9 | WHEN SHE SNEEZED, BATS FLEW OUT OF THEM. |
| 10 | OH, COME ON. |
| 11 | THEY WERE NOT THAT HUGE. |
| 12 | I'M TELLING YOU. |
| 13 | SHE LEANED BACK. |
| 14 | I COULD SEE HER BRAIN. |
| 15 | HOW MANY PERFECTLY FINE WOMEN |
| 16 | ARE YOU GOING TO REJECT |
| 17 | OVER THE MOST SUPERFICIAL, INSIGNIFICANT THINGS? |
| 18 | HOLD IT, HOLD IT. |
| 19 | I GOT TO SIDE WITH CHANDLER ON THIS ONE. |
| 20 | WHEN I FIRST MOVED TO THE CITY |
| 21 | I WENT OUT A COUPLE TIMES WITH THIS GIRL-- |
| 22 | REALLY HOT, GREAT KISSER |
| 23 | BUT SHE HAD THE BIGGEST ADAM'S APPLE. |
| 24 | EWW! |
| 25 | DROVE ME NUTS. |
| 26 | YOU OR ME. |
| 27 | I GOT IT. |
| 28 | UH, JOEY, WOMEN DON'T HAVE ADAM'S APPLES. |
| 29 | ( laughing ) |
| 30 | YOU GUYS ARE MESSING WITH ME, RIGHT? |
| 31 | YEAH. |
| 32 | YEAH. WE ARE. |
| 33 | THAT WAS A GOOD ONE. |
| 34 | FOR A SECOND THERE, I WAS LIKE, WHOA. |
| 35 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 36 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE ♪ |
| 37 | ♪ YOU'RE BROKE, YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 39 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY, YOUR WEEK ♪ |
| 40 | ♪ YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 41 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 42 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 43 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 44 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 45 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 46 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 47 | SO, YOU NAME ONE WOMAN |
| 48 | THAT YOU BROKE UP WITH FOR AN ACTUAL REAL REASON. |
| 49 | MAUREEN ROSILLO. |
| 50 | 'CAUSE SHE DOESN'T HATE YANNI IS NOT A REAL REASON. |
| 51 | ( knocking ) |
| 52 | OH... |
| 53 | HELLO, MR. HECKLES. |
| 54 | YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN. |
| 55 | WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING. |
| 56 | YOU'RE STOMPING. |
| 57 | IT'S DISTURBING MY BIRDS. |
| 58 | YOU DON'T HAVE BIRDS. |
| 59 | I COULD HAVE BIRDS. |
| 60 | OKAY, MR. HECKLES, WE'LL TRY TO KEEP IT DOWN. |
| 61 | THANK YOU. |
| 62 | I'M GOING TO REJOIN MY DINNER PARTY. |
| 63 | ALL RIGHT. BYE-BYE. |
| 64 | Chandler: OKAY, JANICE. |
| 65 | JANICE. YOU GOT TO GIVE ME JANICE. |
| 66 | THAT WASN'T ABOUT BEING PICKY. |
| 67 | WE'LL GIVE YOU JANICE. |
| 68 | I MISS JANICE, THOUGH. |
| 69 | ( nasal voice ): HELLO, CHANDLER BING. |
| 70 | OH... MY... GOD. |
| 71 | ( nasal voice ): OH, CHANDLER... |
| 72 | NOW... NOW... |
| 73 | THAT'S IT. |
| 74 | THERE. FASTER. |
| 75 | ( laughing ) |
| 76 | ( knocking ) |
| 77 | STOP WITH THE BROOM! |
| 78 | WE'RE NOT MAKING NOISE! |
| 79 | ( knocking ) |
| 80 | ( knocking ) |
| 81 | WE WON. |
| 82 | WE DID? |
| 83 | ( cheering ) |
| 84 | ( all groaning ) |
| 85 | MR. HECKLES... |
| 86 | HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? |
| 87 | HE MUST HAVE BEEN SWEEPING. |
| 88 | THEY FOUND A BROOM IN HIS HAND. |
| 89 | THAT'S TERRIBLE. |
| 90 | I KNOW. |
| 91 | I WAS SWEEPING YESTERDAY. |
| 92 | IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. |
| 93 | Ross: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. |
| 94 | Joey: SURE, SURE. |
| 95 | SWEEPING-- YOU NEVER KNOW. |
| 96 | NEVER KNOW. |
| 97 | IT'S VERY FAINT |
| 98 | BUT I CAN STILL SENSE HIM IN THE BUILDING. |
| 99 | GO INTO THE LIGHT, MR. HECKLES! |
| 100 | OKAY, PHOEBE. |
| 101 | I'M SORRY, BUT SOMETIMES THEY NEED HELP. |
| 102 | HERE WE GO. |
| 103 | THAT'S FINE. GO AHEAD AND SCOFF. |
| 104 | YOU KNOW, THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS OUT THERE |
| 105 | THAT I DON'T BELIEVE IN |
| 106 | BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE NOT TRUE. |
| 107 | SUCH AS? |
| 108 | LIKE CROP CIRCLES OR THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE |
| 109 | OR EVOLUTION. |
| 110 | WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. |
| 111 | WHAT, YOU DON'T, UH... YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION? |
| 112 | NO. NOT REALLY. |
| 113 | YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION? |
| 114 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 115 | IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW-- MONKEYS, DARWIN-- |
| 116 | YOU KNOW, IT'S A NICE STORY. |
| 117 | I JUST THINK IT'S A LITTLE TOO EASY. |
| 118 | TOO EASY? TOO..? |
| 119 | THE PROCESS OF EVERY LIVING THING ON THIS PLANET |
| 120 | EVOLVING OVER MILLIONS OF YEARS |
| 121 | FROM SINGLE-CELLED ORGANISMS IS, IS TOO EASY? |
| 122 | YEAH. I JUST DON'T BUY IT. |
| 123 | UH, EXCUSE ME. |
| 124 | EVOLUTION IS NOT FOR YOU TO BUY, PHOEBE. |
| 125 | EVOLUTION IS SCIENTIFIC FACT |
| 126 | LIKE, LIKE, LIKE THE AIR WE BREATHE, LIKE GRAVITY. |
| 127 | OH. OKAY, DON'T GET ME STARTED ON GRAVITY. |
| 128 | YOU, UH..? YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN GRAVITY? |
| 129 | WELL, IT'S NOT SO MUCH |
| 130 | THAT, YOU KNOW, LIKE I DON'T BELIEVE IN IT. |
| 131 | YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST... |
| 132 | I DON'T KNOW, LATELY I GET THE FEELING |
| 133 | THAT I'M NOT SO MUCH BEING PULLED DOWN |
| 134 | AS I AM BEING PUSHED. |
| 135 | ( knocking ) |
| 136 | UH-OH. IT'S ISAAC NEWTON AND HE'S PISSED. |
| 137 | OH, THERE SHE IS, RIGHT OVER THERE. |
| 138 | THAT'S THE OTHER ONE. |
| 139 | THIS IS MR. BUDDY BOYLE-- |
| 140 | HECKLES' ATTORNEY. |
| 141 | HE'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU. |
| 142 | WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU? |
| 143 | ALL RIGHT, KIDS. |
| 144 | HERE'S THE DEAL-- |
| 145 | ACCORDING TO MY CLIENT'S WILL |
| 146 | HE WANTS TO LEAVE ALL HIS EARTHLY POSSESSIONS |
| 147 | TO THE, UH, "NOISY GIRLS IN THE APARTMENT ABOVE MINE." |
| 148 | WHAT? |
| 149 | WELL, WHAT ABOUT HIS FAMILY? |
| 150 | HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY. |
| 151 | Joey: WHOA. |
| 152 | OH... OKAY, SO LET'S TALK MONEY. |
| 153 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 154 | THERE WAS NONE. |
| 155 | NOW, LET'S TALK SIGNING. |
| 156 | YOU BE NOISY GIRL NUMBER ONE. |
| 157 | YOU BE NOISY GIRL NUMBER TWO. |
| 158 | I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS WHOLE TIME WE THOUGHT HE HATED US. |
| 159 | I MEAN, ISN'T IT AMAZING |
| 160 | HOW MUCH YOU CAN TOUCH SOMEONE'S LIFE |
| 161 | WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT? |
| 162 | WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS DUMP? |
| 163 | HE HATED US. |
| 164 | THIS WAS HIS FINAL REVENGE. |
| 165 | GOD, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SO MUCH CRAP? |
| 166 | ACTUALLY, I THINK THIS APARTMENT SULLIES THE GOOD NAME OF CRAP. |
| 167 | CHECK THIS OUT. |
| 168 | CAN I HAVE THIS? |
| 169 | HOW CAN YOU NOT BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION? |
| 170 | I DON'T KNOW. JUST DON'T. |
| 171 | LOOK AT THIS FUNKY SHIRT. |
| 172 | LOOK, PHEEBS, I'VE STUDIED EVOLUTION |
| 173 | MY ENTIRE ADULT LIFE, OKAY, AND I CAN TELL YOU |
| 174 | WE HAVE COLLECTED FOSSILS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD |
| 175 | THAT ACTUALLY SHOW |
| 176 | THE EVOLUTION OF DIFFERENT SPECIES, OKAY? |
| 177 | I MEAN, YOU CAN LITERALLY SEE THEM EVOLVING THROUGH TIME. |
| 178 | REALLY? |
| 179 | YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE IT? |
| 180 | YOU BET. |
| 181 | IN... UH, IN THE U.S., CHINA, AFRICA, ALL OVER. |
| 182 | SEE, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. |
| 183 | WELL, THERE YOU GO. |
| 184 | HUH. |
| 185 | SO NOW, THE REAL QUESTION IS |
| 186 | WHO PUT THOSE FOSSILS THERE, AND WHY? |
| 187 | HEY, LOOK AT THIS. |
| 188 | "MY BIG BOOK OF GRIEVANCES." |
| 189 | HEY, THERE'S ME. |
| 190 | "APRIL 17-- EXCESSIVE NOISE. |
| 191 | ITALIAN GUY COMES HOME WITH A DATE." |
| 192 | YEAH. HEY, CHANDLER, LOOK, YOU'RE IN HERE TOO. |
| 193 | "APRIL 18-- EXCESSIVE NOISE. |
| 194 | ITALIAN GUY'S GAY ROOMMATE BRINGS HOME DRY CLEANING." |
| 195 | WELL, THAT'S EXCELLENT. |
| 196 | MONICA... MONICA, LOOK AT THIS LAMP. |
| 197 | IS THIS TACKY OR WHAT? |
| 198 | WE HAVE TO HAVE THIS. |
| 199 | UH, RACH, I THINK WE HAVE ENOUGH REGULAR LAMPS. |
| 200 | WHAT? OH, COME ON. |
| 201 | IT'S NOT LIKE I'M ASKING |
| 202 | FOR THIS GIRLIE CLOCK OR ANYTHING, WHICH, BY THE WAY |
| 203 | I ALSO THINK IS REALLY COOL. |
| 204 | LOOK, IT DOESN'T GO WITH ANY OF MY STUFF. |
| 205 | WELL, WHAT ABOUT MY STUFF? |
| 206 | YOU DON'T HAVE ANY STUFF. |
| 207 | YOU STILL THINK OF IT AS YOUR APARTMENT, DON'T YOU? |
| 208 | MM... NO. |
| 209 | YES, YOU DO. |
| 210 | YOU THINK OF IT AS YOUR APARTMENT |
| 211 | AND I'M JUST SOMEONE WHO RENTS A ROOM. |
| 212 | MM... |
| 213 | OKAY, WHILE YOU |
| 214 | "MM..." ON THAT FOR A WHILE |
| 215 | I'M GOING TO GO FIND A PLACE |
| 216 | FOR MY NEW LAMP. |
| 217 | MM... MM, MM, MM! |
| 218 | OKAY, PHEEBS |
| 219 | SEE HOW I'M MAKING THESE LITTLE TOYS MOVE? |
| 220 | OPPOSABLE THUMBS. |
| 221 | WITHOUT EVOLUTION, HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN |
| 222 | OPPOSABLE THUMBS? |
| 223 | MAYBE THE OVERLORDS NEEDED THEM |
| 224 | TO STEER THEIR SPACECRAFTS. |
| 225 | PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING. |
| 226 | LOOK, CAN'T WE JUST SAY |
| 227 | THAT YOU BELIEVE IN SOMETHING AND I DON'T? |
| 228 | NO, NO. |
| 229 | NO, PHEEBS, WE CAN'T. |
| 230 | WHY NOT? |
| 231 | WHAT IS THIS OBSESSIVE NEED YOU HAVE |
| 232 | TO MAKE EVERYBODY |
| 233 | AGREE WITH YOU? |
| 234 | NO, WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT? |
| 235 | YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK? |
| 236 | I THINK MAYBE IT'S TIME |
| 237 | YOU PUT ROSS UNDER THE MICROSCOPE. |
| 238 | IS THERE BLOOD COMING OUT OF MY EARS? |
| 239 | CHECK IT OUT. CHECK IT OUT. |
| 240 | HECKLES' HIGH SCHOOL YEARBOOK. |
| 241 | LOOK. |
| 242 | WOW, HE LOOKS SO NORMAL. |
| 243 | HE'S EVEN KIND OF CUTE. |
| 244 | "HECKLES, YOU CRACK ME UP IN SCIENCE CLASS. |
| 245 | YOU'RE THE FUNNIEST KID IN SCHOOL." |
| 246 | FUNNIEST? HECKLES? |
| 247 | THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS. |
| 248 | WOW, HECKLES WAS VOTED CLASS CLOWN, AND SO WAS I. |
| 249 | ( thumping ) |
| 250 | HE WAS RIGHT. |
| 251 | WOULD YOU LISTEN TO THAT? |
| 252 | I'D CALL THAT EXCESSIVE. |
| 253 | WHOA. |
| 254 | WHAT? |
| 255 | HECKLES PLAYED CLARINET IN BAND, AND I PLAYED CLARINET. |
| 256 | AND HE WAS IN |
| 257 | THE SCALE MODELERS CLUB |
| 258 | AND I WAS... WELL, THERE WAS NO CLUB |
| 259 | BUT I SURE THOUGHT THEY WERE COOL. |
| 260 | SO, YOU WERE BOTH DORKS. |
| 261 | BIG DEAL. |
| 262 | I JUST THINK IT'S WEIRD-- HECKLES AND ME... |
| 263 | ( thumping ) |
| 264 | HECKLES AND ME, ME... |
| 265 | ( thumping ) |
| 266 | ME AND HECKLES... |
| 267 | HEY, WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF! |
| 268 | ( yells ) |
| 269 | HAVE YOU BEEN HERE ALL NIGHT? |
| 270 | LOOK AT THIS. |
| 271 | PICTURES OF ALL THE WOMEN |
| 272 | THAT HECKLES WENT OUT WITH. |
| 273 | LOOK WHAT HE WROTE ON THEM. |
| 274 | "VIVIAN, TOO TALL." |
| 275 | "MADGE, BIG GUMS." |
| 276 | "TOO LOUD." |
| 277 | "TOO SMART." |
| 278 | "MAKES NOISE WHEN SHE EATS." |
| 279 | THIS IS... THIS IS ME. |
| 280 | THIS IS WHAT I DO. |
| 281 | I'M GOING TO END UP ALONE JUST LIKE HE DID. |
| 282 | CHANDLER, HECKLES WAS A NUT CASE. |
| 283 | OUR TRAINS ARE ON THE SAME TRACK, OKAY? |
| 284 | YEAH, SURE, I'M COMING UP 30 YEARS BEHIND HIM |
| 285 | BUT THE STOPS ARE ALL THE SAME: |
| 286 | BITTERTOWN, ALONEVILLE, HERMIT JUNCTION. |
| 287 | YOU KNOW WHAT WE GOT TO DO? |
| 288 | WE GOT TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE. |
| 289 | I'LL BUY YOU BREAKFAST. LET'S GO. |
| 290 | WHAT IF I NEVER FIND SOMEBODY? |
| 291 | OR WORSE, I ALREADY FOUND HER |
| 292 | BUT I DUMPED HER BECAUSE SHE PRONOUNCES IT "SUPPOSEBLY"? |
| 293 | CHANDLER, COME ON. |
| 294 | YOU'RE GOING TO FIND SOMEBODY. |
| 295 | HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? |
| 296 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 297 | I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT. |
| 298 | YOU GUYS ARE ALL GOING TO GO OFF AND GET MARRIED |
| 299 | AND I'M GOING TO END UP ALONE. |
| 300 | WILL YOU PROMISE ME SOMETHING? |
| 301 | WHEN YOU'RE MARRIED, INVITE ME OVER FOR HOLIDAYS. |
| 302 | WELL, I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO BE DOING. |
| 303 | I MEAN, WHAT IF WE'RE OVER AT HER FOLKS' PLACE? |
| 304 | YEAH, I UNDERSTAND. |
| 305 | YOU CAN COME OVER AND WATCH THE SUPER BOWL. |
| 306 | EVERY YEAR. ALL RIGHT? |
| 307 | YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 308 | I'M NOT GOING TO END UP LIKE THIS. |
| 309 | I'LL SEE YOU, MAN. |
| 310 | GEEZ. |
| 311 | SUPPOSEBLY... |
| 312 | SUPPOSEBLY. |
| 313 | "DID THEY GO TO THE ZOO?" |
| 314 | "SUPPOSEBLY." |
| 315 | HI. IT'S ME. |
| 316 | OH... MY... GOD. |
| 317 | JANICE? YOU CALLED JANICE? |
| 318 | YES, JANICE. WHY IS THAT |
| 319 | SO DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO COMPREHEND? |
| 320 | YOU REMEMBER JANICE, RIGHT? |
| 321 | YES. |
| 322 | SHE WAS SMART, SHE WAS PRETTY AND SHE HONESTLY CARED ABOUT ME. |
| 323 | JANICE IS MY LAST CHANCE TO HAVE SOMEBODY. |
| 324 | HELLO! |
| 325 | OH... MY... GOD. |
| 326 | GEEZ, LOOK HOW FAT SHE GOT. |
| 327 | HEY, IT'S EVERYBODY. |
| 328 | All: HI, JANICE. |
| 329 | JANICE, YOU'RE... |
| 330 | YES, I AM. |
| 331 | IS IT..? |
| 332 | IS IT YOURS? |
| 333 | HAH! YOU WISH, CHANDLER BING. |
| 334 | YOU ARE LOOKING AT A MARRIED LADY NOW. |
| 335 | ( with polite indifference ): OH. YEAH. |
| 336 | CONGRATULATIONS. |
| 337 | OH, SWEETIE. I'M SORRY. |
| 338 | YOU COULDN'T HAVE TOLD ME OVER THE PHONE? |
| 339 | AND WHAT? |
| 340 | MISS THE EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE? OH, NO. |
| 341 | JANICE LIKES TO HAVE HER FUN. |
| 342 | ( braying laugh ) |
| 343 | HEY, RACH, YOU KNOW WHAT WE HAVEN'T PLAYED IN A WHILE? |
| 344 | WHAT? |
| 345 | HIDE THE LAMP. |
| 346 | OKAY. MONICA, LET IT GO. |
| 347 | DID YOU KNOW I WAS ALLERGIC TO SHELLFISH? |
| 348 | WELL, THEN, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO EAT |
| 349 | THE OTHER LAMPS. |
| 350 | UH-OH. IT'S SCARY SCIENTIST MAN. |
| 351 | OKAY, PHOEBE, THIS IS IT. |
| 352 | IN THIS BRIEFCASE |
| 353 | I CARRY ACTUAL SCIENTIFIC FACTS... |
| 354 | A BRIEFCASE OF FACTS, IF YOU WILL. |
| 355 | SOME OF THESE FOSSILS ARE OVER 200 MILLION YEARS OLD. |
| 356 | LOOK, BEFORE YOU EVEN START, I'M NOT DENYING EVOLUTION. |
| 357 | I'M JUST SAYING THAT IT'S ONE OF THE POSSIBILITIES. |
| 358 | IT'S THE ONLY POSSIBILITY, PHOEBE. |
| 359 | ROSS, COULD YOU JUST OPEN YOUR MIND LIKE, THIS MUCH? |
| 360 | NOW, WASN'T THERE A TIME |
| 361 | WHEN THE BRIGHTEST MINDS IN THE WORLD |
| 362 | BELIEVED THAT THE EARTH WAS FLAT? |
| 363 | AND UP UNTIL, LIKE 50 YEARS AGO |
| 364 | YOU ALL THOUGHT THE ATOM WAS THE SMALLEST THING |
| 365 | UNTIL YOU SPLIT IT OPEN |
| 366 | AND THIS LIKE, WHOLE MESS OF CRAP CAME OUT. |
| 367 | NOW, ARE YOU TELLING ME |
| 368 | THAT YOU ARE SO UNBELIEVABLY ARROGANT |
| 369 | THAT YOU CAN'T ADMIT |
| 370 | THAT THERE'S A TEENY, TINY POSSIBILITY |
| 371 | THAT YOU COULD BE WRONG ABOUT THIS? |
| 372 | THERE MIGHT BE... |
| 373 | A TEENY... |
| 374 | TINY... |
| 375 | POSSIBILITY. |
| 376 | I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAVED. |
| 377 | WHAT? |
| 378 | YOU JUST ABANDONED YOUR WHOLE BELIEF SYSTEM. |
| 379 | BEFORE I DIDN'T AGREE WITH YOU, BUT AT LEAST I RESPECTED YOU. |
| 380 | BUT... |
| 381 | HOW WILL YOU GO INTO WORK TOMORROW? |
| 382 | HOW..? |
| 383 | HOW WILL YOU FACE THE OTHER SCIENCE GUYS? |
| 384 | HOW WILL YOU FACE YOURSELF? |
| 385 | OH! |
| 386 | THAT WAS FUN. |
| 387 | SO WHO'S HUNGRY? |
| 388 | I AM. |
| 389 | ME TOO. LET ME JUST GET MY COAT. |
| 390 | OH! |
| 391 | OKAY, ALL RIGHT. |
| 392 | IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, I SWEAR. ALL RIGHT? |
| 393 | I WAS PUTTING ON MY JACKET AND THE THING... |
| 394 | AND THE LAMP AND IT BROKE. |
| 395 | OH, PLEASE, MONICA. |
| 396 | YOU'VE ALWAYS HATED MY LAMP. |
| 397 | AND NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN |
| 398 | IT'S JUST, MAGICALLY, IT'S JUST BROKEN? |
| 399 | PHOEBE, TELL HER. |
| 400 | I DIDN'T SEE IT 'CAUSE I WAS PUTTING ON MY JACKET |
| 401 | BUT, UM, I WANT TO BELIEVE YOU. |
| 402 | HEY, CHANDLER. |
| 403 | MONICA JUST BROKE MY SEASHELL LAMP. |
| 404 | NEAT. I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE. |
| 405 | OKAY, YOU WIN. |
| 406 | CHANDLER, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE ALONE. |
| 407 | JANICE WAS MY SAFETY NET, OKAY? |
| 408 | AND NOW I HAVE TO GET A SNAKE. |
| 409 | UH-HUH. WHY IS THAT? |
| 410 | IF I'M GOING TO BE AN OLD, LONELY MAN, I'M GOING TO NEED |
| 411 | A THING, YOU KNOW? A HOOK. |
| 412 | LIKE THAT GUY IN THE SUBWAY WHO EATS HIS OWN FACE. |
| 413 | SO I FIGURE |
| 414 | I'LL BE CRAZY MAN WITH A SNAKE, YOU KNOW? |
| 415 | CRAZY SNAKE MAN. |
| 416 | THEN I'LL GET MORE SNAKES, CALL THEM MY BABIES. |
| 417 | KIDS WON'T WALK PAST MY PLACE, THEY WILL RUN. |
| 418 | "RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE MAN!" |
| 419 | THEY'LL SHOUT. |
| 420 | YOU'VE GOT TO GET OVER THIS, OKAY? |
| 421 | YOU'RE NOT GOING TO END UP ALONE. |
| 422 | OF COURSE I AM. |
| 423 | I REJECT ANYONE WHO'S CRAZY ENOUGH |
| 424 | TO ACTUALLY GO OUT WITH ME |
| 425 | AND THEN I BITCH ABOUT THE FACT |
| 426 | THAT THERE AREN'T ANY GREAT WOMEN OUT THERE. |
| 427 | CHANDLER, YOU HAVE JUST DESCRIBED |
| 428 | VIRTUALLY EVERY MAN THAT WE HAVE EVER GONE OUT WITH. |
| 429 | YEAH. |
| 430 | YOU ARE NOT A FREAK. |
| 431 | YOU'RE A GUY. |
| 432 | Rachel: SHE'S RIGHT, SHE'S RIGHT. |
| 433 | YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT THAN THE REST OF THEM. |
| 434 | WAIT A MINUTE. YES, HE IS. |
| 435 | YEAH. YOU ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT. |
| 436 | IN A BAD WAY? |
| 437 | NO, HONEY, IN A WONDERFUL WAY. |
| 438 | YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT NOW. |
| 439 | MOST GUYS DON'T HAVE A CLUE. |
| 440 | YOU ARE READY TO TAKE RISKS, TO BE VULNERABLE |
| 441 | AND INTIMATE WITH SOMEONE. |
| 442 | YOU'RE NOT GOING TO END UP ALONE. |
| 443 | CHANDLER, YOU CALLED JANICE. |
| 444 | THAT'S HOW MUCH YOU WANTED TO BE |
| 445 | WITH SOMEONE. |
| 446 | YOU'VE MADE IT. |
| 447 | YOU'RE THERE. |
| 448 | YOU ARE READY TO MAKE A COMMITMENT. |
| 449 | WHOA! DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. |
| 450 | OH, WHAT YOU GOT THERE? |
| 451 | SOMETHING ELSE THAT'S NOT YOURS THAT YOU CAN BREAK? |
| 452 | NO. UM... |
| 453 | I KNOW YOU LIKE THIS, AND I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT. |
| 454 | I THINK IT WOULD LOOK GOOD IN OUR APARTMENT. |
| 455 | THANK YOU. |
| 456 | ( whistled catcalls ) |
| 457 | THAT'S FINE. |
| 458 | HEY! WELL, YOU WILL ALL BE PLEASED TO KNOW |
| 459 | THAT I HAVE A DATE TOMORROW NIGHT. |
| 460 | THIS WOMAN ALISON FROM WORK-- |
| 461 | SHE IS GREAT. |
| 462 | SHE'S PRETTY, SHE'S SMART, AND UH... |
| 463 | I'VE BEEN HOLDING OFF ASKING HER OUT IN THE PAST |
| 464 | BECAUSE SHE HAS A, UH... |
| 465 | UNUSUALLY LARGE HEAD |
| 466 | BUT I'M NOT GOING |
| 467 | TO LET THAT STUFF HANG ME UP ANYMORE. |
| 468 | LOOK AT ME. I'M GROWING. |
| 469 | HEY, YOU CAN'T RECYCLE YEARBOOKS, CAN YOU? |
| 470 | I'LL TAKE THAT. |
| 471 | YOU WANT HIS YEARBOOK? |
| 472 | YEAH, YEAH. |
| 473 | SOME PEOPLE SAID SOME NICE THINGS ABOUT HIM. |
| 474 | SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE IT. |
| 475 | GOSH, THIS IS SO WEIRD. |
| 476 | I MEAN, HIS WHOLE LIFE WAS IN THIS APARTMENT |
| 477 | AND NOW IT'S GONE. |
| 478 | YOU KNOW, I THINK |
| 479 | IT WOULD BE NICE IF WE JUST TOOK A FEW MOMENTS |
| 480 | FOR MR. HECKLES. |
| 481 | I MEAN, HE WAS KIND OF A PAIN, HE WAS |
| 482 | BUT HE WAS A PERSON. |
| 483 | Monica: WHAT? |
| 484 | YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HELL. |
| 485 | OH, IT'S REALLY NOT THAT BIG. |
| 486 | TAKING THAT WITH YOU, HUH? |
| 487 | OH, YEAH. |
| 488 | HEY, YOU COMING? |
| 489 | YEAH. IN A SECOND. |
| 490 | GOOD-BYE, MR. HECKLES. |
| 491 | WE'LL TRY TO KEEP IT DOWN. |
| 492 | MY MAJOR WAS USELESS. |
| 493 | HOW OFTEN DO THE CLASSIFIEDS LIST "PHILOSOPHER WANTED"? |
| 494 | MY GOD, THAT'S A BIG HEAD. |
| 495 | IT DIDN'T LOOK THIS BIG IN THE OFFICE. |
| 496 | MAYBE IT'S THE LIGHTING. |
| 497 | MY HEAD MUST LOOK LIKE A GOLF BALL AT WORK. |
| 498 | ALL RIGHT. DON'T GET HUNG UP ON IT. |
| 499 | QUICK, QUICK. |
| 500 | LIST FIVE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT HER. |
| 501 | NICE SMILE, GOOD DRESSER |
| 502 | BIG HEAD, BIG HEAD, BIG HEAD. |
| 503 | [Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation] |
| 504 | |
| 1 | MOM, WOULD YOU RELAX? |
| 2 | THAT WAS TEN BLOCKS FROM HERE |
| 3 | AND THE WOMAN WAS WALKING ALONE AT NIGHT. |
| 4 | I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. |
| 5 | MOM, COME ON, STOP WORRYING. |
| 6 | THIS IS A SAFE STREET. |
| 7 | THIS IS A SAFE BUILDING. |
| 8 | THERE'S NOTHING... OH, MY GOD! |
| 9 | MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?! |
| 10 | MOM, I GOT TO GO, I GOT TO GO! |
| 11 | ( yelps ) |
| 12 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 13 | OKAY. |
| 14 | THAT'S FINE. |
| 15 | YOU JUST READ THE PAPER. |
| 16 | I'M GOING TO GET A POT. |
| 17 | IT'S NOT FOR YOU. |
| 18 | OKAY, THAT'S FINE. |
| 19 | READ "THE FAMILY CIRCUS." |
| 20 | ENJOY THE GENTLE COMEDY. |
| 21 | ( squealing ) |
| 22 | OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. |
| 23 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 24 | OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. |
| 25 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 26 | ( squealing ) |
| 27 | OH, MY GOD... OH, GOD... OH... OH... |
| 28 | ( doorbell ringing ) |
| 29 | IT'S OPEN, YOU GUYS. |
| 30 | HI. |
| 31 | HI. HEY, CAN I HELP YOU? |
| 32 | DOES PHOEBE STILL LIVE HERE? |
| 33 | UH, NO, BUT I CAN GET A MESSAGE TO HER. |
| 34 | GREAT. JUST TELL HER HER HUSBAND STOPPED BY. |
| 35 | HER WHAT? |
| 36 | HEY, HOW..? HOW DID YOU DO THAT? |
| 37 | UH... |
| 38 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 39 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 40 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 41 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 42 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY, YOUR WEEK ♪ |
| 43 | ♪ YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 44 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 45 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 46 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 47 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 48 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 49 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 50 | THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE, PHOEBS. |
| 51 | HOW CAN YOU BE MARRIED? |
| 52 | WELL, I'M NOT MARRIED MARRIED. |
| 53 | HE WAS JUST A FRIEND, AND HE'S GAY |
| 54 | AND HE WAS FROM CANADA, AND HE JUST NEEDED A GREEN CARD. |
| 55 | I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MARRIED DUNCAN. |
| 56 | HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME? |
| 57 | WE LIVED TOGETHER. |
| 58 | WE TOLD EACH OTHER EVERYTHING. |
| 59 | I'M SORRY, MONICA, BUT I KNEW IF I TOLD YOU |
| 60 | YOU'D GET REALLY JUDGMENTAL AND YOU WOULD NOT APPROVE. |
| 61 | OF COURSE, I WOULDN'T APPROVE. |
| 62 | I MEAN, YOU WERE TOTALLY IN LOVE |
| 63 | WITH THIS GUY WHO-- HELLO-- WAS GAY. |
| 64 | WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? |
| 65 | SEE, AND YOU THOUGHT SHE'D BE JUDGMENTAL. |
| 66 | OKAY, I WASN'T "IN LOVE" |
| 67 | WITH HIM, AND I WAS JUST HELPING OUT A FRIEND. |
| 68 | PLEASE. |
| 69 | WHEN HE LEFT TOWN, YOU STAYED IN YOUR PAJAMAS FOR A MONTH |
| 70 | AND I SAW YOU EAT A CHEESEBURGER. |
| 71 | ( gasping ) ( gasping ) |
| 72 | WELL, DIDN'T YOU? |
| 73 | I MIGHT HAVE. |
| 74 | I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T TELL ME. |
| 75 | COME ON. LIKE YOU TELL ME EVERYTHING? |
| 76 | WHAT HAVE I NOT TOLD YOU? |
| 77 | OH, I DON'T KNOW. |
| 78 | UM, HOW ABOUT THE FACT |
| 79 | THAT THE UNDERWEAR OUT ON THE TELEPHONE POLE IS YOURS |
| 80 | FROM WHEN YOU WERE HAVING SEX WITH FUN BOBBY |
| 81 | OUT ON THE TERRACE. |
| 82 | WHAT?! |
| 83 | WAIT A MINUTE... WHO TOLD YOU? |
| 84 | YOU ARE DEAD MEAT. |
| 85 | I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A BIG SECRET. |
| 86 | OH, IT'S NOT BIG, NOT AT ALL. |
| 87 | YOU KNOW, KIND OF ON THE SAME LINES AS, SAY |
| 88 | I DON'T KNOW, HAVING A THIRD NIPPLE! |
| 89 | ( gasping ) |
| 90 | YOU HAVE A THIRD NIPPLE? |
| 91 | YOU BITCH. |
| 92 | WHIP IT OUT. WHIP IT OUT. |
| 93 | YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. |
| 94 | COME ON. |
| 95 | THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE. |
| 96 | IT'S TOTALLY USELESS. |
| 97 | OH, AS OPPOSED TO YOUR OTHER |
| 98 | MULTIFUNCTIONAL NIPPLES. |
| 99 | I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU. |
| 100 | YOU TOLD ME IT WAS A NUBBIN. |
| 101 | JOEY, WHAT DID YOU THINK A NUBBIN WAS? |
| 102 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 103 | YOU SEE SOMETHING. |
| 104 | YOU HEAR A WORD. |
| 105 | I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT IT WAS. |
| 106 | LET ME SEE IT AGAIN. |
| 107 | YEAH, SHOW IT TO US. |
| 108 | ( clamoring ) |
| 109 | JOEY WAS IN A PORNO MOVIE. |
| 110 | ( gasping ) |
| 111 | IF I'M GOING DOWN, I'M TAKING EVERYBODY WITH ME. |
| 112 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 113 | A PORNO MOVIE? |
| 114 | ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. |
| 115 | I WAS YOUNG, AND I JUST WANTED A JOB, OKAY? |
| 116 | BUT I COULDN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT |
| 117 | SO THEY LET ME BE THE GUY WHO COMES IN TO FIX THE COPIER |
| 118 | BUT CAN'T, BECAUSE THERE'S PEOPLE HAVING SEX ON IT. |
| 119 | THAT IS WILD! |
| 120 | ( chuckling ) |
| 121 | WHAT'S IT SHAPED LIKE? |
| 122 | IS THERE A HAIR ON IT? |
| 123 | WHAT HAPPENS |
| 124 | IF YOU FLICK IT? |
| 125 | SO, UH, DOES IT DO ANYTHING, YOU KNOW, SPECIAL? |
| 126 | WELL, YES, ROSS. |
| 127 | PRESSING MY THIRD NIPPLE OPENS THE DELIVERY ENTRANCE |
| 128 | TO THE MAGICAL LAND OF NARNIA. |
| 129 | YOU KNOW, IN SOME CULTURES HAVING A THIRD NIPPLE |
| 130 | IS A SIGN OF VIRILITY. |
| 131 | YOU GET THE BEST HUTS |
| 132 | AND WOMEN DANCE NAKED AROUND YOU. |
| 133 | ARE ANY OF THESE CULTURES PERCHANCE IN THE TRI-STATE AREA? |
| 134 | YOU KNOW, YOU ARE SO AMAZING. |
| 135 | IS THERE ANYTHING YOU DON'T KNOW? |
| 136 | ( nasally ): OOH, JULIE'S SO SMART. |
| 137 | JULIE'S SO SPECIAL. |
| 138 | LOOK, I WANTED YOU TO HOOK UP WITH ROSS |
| 139 | AS MUCH AS YOU DID, BUT HE'S WITH HER NOW. |
| 140 | YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO GET OVER IT. |
| 141 | OH, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET OVER IT. |
| 142 | I DIDN'T KNOW THAT'S WHAT I HAD TO DO. |
| 143 | I JUST HAVE TO GET OVER IT. |
| 144 | FOXY LADY! |
| 145 | WHERE ARE YOU GOING? |
| 146 | I'M GOING TO GO MEET DUNCAN. |
| 147 | HE'S SKATING TONIGHT AT THE GARDEN. |
| 148 | HE'S IN THE CAPADES. |
| 149 | THE ICE CAPADES? |
| 150 | NO, NO. THE GRAVEL CAPADES. |
| 151 | THE TURNS AREN'T AS FAST, BUT WHEN SNOOPY FALLS-- FUNNY. |
| 152 | I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DRESSING UP FOR HIM. |
| 153 | YOU'RE SETTING YOURSELF UP ALL OVER AGAIN. |
| 154 | OKAY, NO. |
| 155 | FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I'M GOING TO SEE HIM |
| 156 | SO I CAN PUT ALL THOSE FEELINGS BEHIND ME. |
| 157 | AND THE REASON |
| 158 | I'M DRESSED LIKE THIS |
| 159 | IS BECAUSE I THINK IT'S NICE TO LOOK NICE |
| 160 | FOR YOUR GAY HUSBAND. |
| 161 | OH, DARN IT, WE'RE ALL OUT OF MILK. |
| 162 | HEY, CHANDLER |
| 163 | WOULD YOU FILL ME UP HERE? |
| 164 | OH, I SEE... I SEE... BECAUSE OF THE THIRD NIPPLE THING. |
| 165 | ( mock laughter ) |
| 166 | SWEETIE, I'LL SEE YOU LATER. |
| 167 | BYE. |
| 168 | BYE. |
| 169 | SEE YOU LATER, RACH. |
| 170 | ( nasally ): BYE-BYE, JULIE. |
| 171 | HEY! |
| 172 | HEY. |
| 173 | HEY, COME ON, CUT IT OUT. |
| 174 | HEY... |
| 175 | WHAT? |
| 176 | CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? |
| 177 | SURE. |
| 178 | ( groans ) |
| 179 | WHAT? |
| 180 | ( groans ) |
| 181 | COME ON, TALK TO ME. |
| 182 | OKAY. |
| 183 | WHAT'S THE LONGEST |
| 184 | YOU'VE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP BEFORE... |
| 185 | HA-HAVING..? |
| 186 | HAVING HAD SEX? |
| 187 | WHY? WHO'S NOT HAVING..? |
| 188 | ARE YOU AND JULIE NOT.... OR ARE AND.. |
| 189 | ARE YOU AND JULIE NOT HAVING SEX? |
| 190 | WELL... TECHNICALLY? |
| 191 | NO. |
| 192 | WOW. |
| 193 | IS IT BECAUSE SHE'S SO COLD IN BED? |
| 194 | OR IS BECAUSE SHE'S |
| 195 | LIKE KIND OF BOSSY, MAKES IT FEEL LIKE SCHOOL? |
| 196 | NO... NO, SHE'S GREAT |
| 197 | AND IT'S NOT LIKE WE HAVEN'T DONE... ANYTHING. |
| 198 | I MEAN, UH, WE... WE DO PLENTY OF OTHER STUFF... |
| 199 | LOTS OF OTHER STUFF, LIKE... |
| 200 | NO, NO, NO, NO. |
| 201 | DON'T NEED TO KNOW THE DETAILS. |
| 202 | THAT'S OKAY. |
| 203 | IT'S JUST... IT'S... IT'S ME. |
| 204 | YOU KNOW, I'VE ONLY BEEN WITH ONE WOMAN |
| 205 | MY WHOLE LIFE, AND SHE TURNED OUT TO BE A LESBIAN. |
| 206 | UH-HUH. |
| 207 | SO NOW, I'VE GOT MYSELF ALL PSYCHED-OUT, YOU KNOW |
| 208 | AND IT'S BECOME LIKE THIS... THIS THING, AND I... |
| 209 | YOU MUST JUST THINK I'M WEIRD. |
| 210 | NO. NO, NO, NO, I DON'T THINK IT'S WEIRD. |
| 211 | I THINK... I THINK, UM, IN FACT... |
| 212 | IN FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK? |
| 213 | WHAT? |
| 214 | I THINK IT'S SEXY. |
| 215 | SEXY? |
| 216 | LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. |
| 217 | AS A WOMAN... |
| 218 | MM-HMM? |
| 219 | ...THERE IS NOTHING SEXIER THAN A MAN |
| 220 | WHO DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX. |
| 221 | NO KIDDING? |
| 222 | OH, YEAH. IN FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT I'D DO? |
| 223 | WHAT? |
| 224 | I'D WAIT. |
| 225 | YOU'D WAIT? |
| 226 | YES, ABSOLUTELY. |
| 227 | I WOULD WAIT, AND WAIT. |
| 228 | THEN I'D WAIT |
| 229 | SOME MORE. |
| 230 | REALLY? |
| 231 | OH, YEAH. |
| 232 | I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH SHE TELLS YOU SHE WANTS IT. |
| 233 | I DON'T CARE IF SHE BEGS, SHE PLEADS, SHE TELLS YOU |
| 234 | SHE'S GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH... WITH ANOTHER MAN. |
| 235 | THAT JUST MEANS IT'S WORKING. |
| 236 | WOMEN REALLY WANT THIS? |
| 237 | MM-HMM, MORE THAN JEWELRY. |
| 238 | HI. |
| 239 | PHOEBE... |
| 240 | ♪ TA-DAH! ♪ |
| 241 | HEY. |
| 242 | HI. |
| 243 | AH, LOOK AT YOU. |
| 244 | YOU LOOK GREAT. |
| 245 | DO I? |
| 246 | YEAH. |
| 247 | THANK YOU. SO DO YOU. |
| 248 | THANKS. |
| 249 | SPARKLY. |
| 250 | YEAH. |
| 251 | SO... WOW. |
| 252 | THIS IS... THIS IS PRETTY WONDERFUL, HUH? |
| 253 | MR. MAJOR CAPADES GUY. |
| 254 | GOD, I... I REMEMBER |
| 255 | WHERE YOU WERE JUST LIKE KING FRIDAY |
| 256 | IN MR. ROGER'S ICE IS NICE. |
| 257 | YEAH, YOU ALWAYS SAID I'D MAKE IT. |
| 258 | YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, I'M KIND OF SPOOKY THAT WAY. |
| 259 | GOD, I MISSED YOU. |
| 260 | I'M GOING TO GET CHANGED. |
| 261 | OKAY. |
| 262 | UM... NOW. |
| 263 | WHAT? |
| 264 | PHOEBS? |
| 265 | OH, RIGHT. OKAY. |
| 266 | OLE. |
| 267 | WHAT? |
| 268 | UM... THE MATADOR, SO... |
| 269 | OLE. |
| 270 | ( laughing ) |
| 271 | SWEET, CAN YOU HOLD THIS FOR A SECOND? |
| 272 | SURE. |
| 273 | THANKS. |
| 274 | UH, JULIE? |
| 275 | YEAH. |
| 276 | SORRY. YOU HAD A PALEONTOLOGIST ON YOUR FACE. |
| 277 | BUT IT'S GONE NOW. |
| 278 | YOU'RE ALL RIGHT. |
| 279 | GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE. |
| 280 | GOOD NIGHT. |
| 281 | GOOD-BYE. |
| 282 | OH, LISTEN... |
| 283 | I JUST... I WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR, UH... |
| 284 | OUR LITTLE TALK BEFORE. |
| 285 | OH, GOD, NO PROBLEM. |
| 286 | SO YOU'RE GOING TO GO WITH THE WAITING THING? |
| 287 | WELL, I WAS GOING TO |
| 288 | BUT AFTER I TALKED TO YOU, I TALKED TO JOEY. |
| 289 | WHAT..? WHAT DID HE SAY? |
| 290 | BASICALLY, HE TOLD ME |
| 291 | TO GET OVER MYSELF AND JUST DO IT. |
| 292 | SO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID |
| 293 | AND I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT HE SAID |
| 294 | AND, WELL, HIS WAY I GET TO HAVE SEX TONIGHT, SO... |
| 295 | OH, GOD. |
| 296 | HMM. |
| 297 | WHAT IS THIS IN MY POCKET? |
| 298 | WHY, IT'S JOEY'S PORNO MOVIE. |
| 299 | Ross: HEY. |
| 300 | POP IT IN. |
| 301 | I'M FINE WITH IT. |
| 302 | I MEAN, IF YOU'RE OKAY WATCHING A VIDEO FILLED |
| 303 | WITH TWO-NIPPLED PEOPLE. |
| 304 | Rachel: GREAT. |
| 305 | PEOPLE HAVING SEX-- THAT'S JUST WHAT I NEED TO SEE. |
| 306 | WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE HAVING SEX? |
| 307 | ( clears throat ) WELL... |
| 308 | WELL, UM, YOU KNOW |
| 309 | THESE MOVIES ARE OFFENSIVE... |
| 310 | AND, UH, DEGRADING TO WOMEN... |
| 311 | AND FEMALES... |
| 312 | AND, UH... |
| 313 | AND THE LIGHTING'S ALWAYS UNFLATTERING. |
| 314 | AND... |
| 315 | MONICA, HELP ME OUT HERE. |
| 316 | HELL, I WANT TO SEE JOEY! |
| 317 | ( cheesy music playing ) |
| 318 | SO, IS THERE LIKE A STORY |
| 319 | OR DO THEY JUST START DOING IT RIGHT..? |
| 320 | OH. NEVER MIND. |
| 321 | OKAY, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. |
| 322 | THAT IS THE CRAZIEST TYPING TEST |
| 323 | I'VE EVER SEEN. |
| 324 | ALL I SAY IS, SHE BETTER GET THE JOB. |
| 325 | LOOKS TO ME LIKE HE'S THE ONE GETTING |
| 326 | THE JOB. |
| 327 | SHH. |
| 328 | OKAY, HERE I COME. HERE I COME. |
| 329 | SEE, I'M COMING TO FIX THE COPIER. |
| 330 | I CAN'T GET TO THE COPIER. |
| 331 | I'M THINKING, "WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?" |
| 332 | SO I JUST WATCH THEM HAVE SEX. |
| 333 | AND THEN I SAY... WAIT, HERE'S MY LINE. |
| 334 | You know, that's bad for the paper tray. |
| 335 | NICE WORK, MY FRIEND. |
| 336 | THANK YOU. |
| 337 | WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, YOU SEE ME AGAIN. |
| 338 | HANG ON. THE GUY'S BUTT'S BLOCKING ME. |
| 339 | THERE I AM. |
| 340 | THERE I AM. |
| 341 | THERE I AM. |
| 342 | THERE I AM. |
| 343 | SO WHAT'S UP? |
| 344 | YOU CAME TO SEE ME YESTERDAY. |
| 345 | OH, YEAH, UM... |
| 346 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 347 | I KIND OF NEED A DIVORCE. |
| 348 | O... KAY. |
| 349 | H-HOW COME? |
| 350 | UM, ACTUALLY, I'M GETTING MARRIED AGAIN. |
| 351 | WHAT? |
| 352 | I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU THIS. |
| 353 | I'M STRAIGHT. |
| 354 | ( gasps ) |
| 355 | YEAH, I KNOW, I.. |
| 356 | I, I DON'T UNDERSTAND. |
| 357 | I DON'T UNDERSTAND. |
| 358 | HOW CAN YOU BE STRAIGHT? |
| 359 | I MEAN, YOU'RE SO SMART AND FUNNY |
| 360 | AND YOU THROW SUCH GREAT ACADEMY AWARD PARTIES. |
| 361 | I KNOW. I KNOW. |
| 362 | THAT'S WHAT I KEPT TELLING MYSELF. |
| 363 | BUT YOU JUST REACH A POINT WHERE YOU CAN'T |
| 364 | LIVE A LIE ANYMORE. |
| 365 | SO HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN? |
| 366 | WELL, I GUESS ON SOME LEVEL I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS STRAIGHT. |
| 367 | I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED |
| 368 | TO BE SOMETHING ELSE. |
| 369 | YOU KNOW, I'M AN ICE DANCER. |
| 370 | ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GAY. |
| 371 | I WAS JUST TRYING TO FIT IN. |
| 372 | AND, UM... |
| 373 | AND THERE'S ACTUALLY A... A WOMAN? |
| 374 | HER NAME'S DEBORAH. |
| 375 | OH. |
| 376 | WELL, IS, IS SHE THE FIRST THAT YOU'VE BEEN WITH? |
| 377 | WELL, I'VE NEVER TOLD YOU THIS, BUT... |
| 378 | THERE WERE ONE OR TWO TIMES BACK IN COLLEGE |
| 379 | WHEN I'D GET REALLY DRUNK, GO TO A STRAIGHT BAR |
| 380 | AND WAKE UP WITH A WOMAN NEXT TO ME. |
| 381 | BUT, I, I... |
| 382 | I TOLD MYSELF IT WAS THE LIQUOR |
| 383 | AND EVERYONE EXPERIMENTS IN COLLEGE. |
| 384 | SURE. |
| 385 | BUT NOW |
| 386 | I KNOW I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE ABOUT THIS. |
| 387 | I WAS BORN THIS WAY. |
| 388 | I, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. |
| 389 | I MEAN, YOU KNOW |
| 390 | YOU'RE MARRIED TO SOMEONE FOR SIX YEARS |
| 391 | AND YOU THINK YOU KNOW HIM |
| 392 | AND THEN ONE DAY HE SAYS, "OH, I'M NOT GAY." |
| 393 | I'M... I'M STILL ME. |
| 394 | WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST HAVE FIGURED THIS OUT |
| 395 | SIX YEARS AGO? |
| 396 | YOU KNOW, IT STILL SMELLS LIKE MONKEY IN THERE? |
| 397 | WELL, THAT SAVES US A CONVERSATION. |
| 398 | WELL, LISTEN, THIS HAS BEEN GREAT |
| 399 | BUT I'M OFFICIALLY WIPED. |
| 400 | ME TOO. WE SHOULD GO. |
| 401 | NO! |
| 402 | NO, I MEAN... NO. |
| 403 | COME ON, YOU GUYS. |
| 404 | I MEAN... |
| 405 | COME ON. LOOK, IT'S ONLY 11:30. |
| 406 | LET'S JUST TALK. |
| 407 | WE NEVER JUST HANG OUT AND TALK ANYMORE. |
| 408 | RACHEL |
| 409 | THAT'S ALL WE DO. |
| 410 | OKAY, MAYBE THAT'S ALL WE DO. |
| 411 | WHAT ABOUT JULIE? |
| 412 | WHAT ABOUT JULIE? |
| 413 | WELL, YOU HAVE BEEN IN OUR LIVES |
| 414 | FOR NEARLY TWO MONTHS NOW |
| 415 | AND WE DON'T REALLY KNOW YOU. |
| 416 | I MEAN, WHO IS JULIE? |
| 417 | I MEAN |
| 418 | WHAT DO YOU LIKE? |
| 419 | WHAT DON'T YOU LIKE? |
| 420 | WE WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING. |
| 421 | WELL, THAT COULD TAKE A WHILE. |
| 422 | SO? |
| 423 | I MEAN, WHO HERE DOES NOT HAVE THE TIME |
| 424 | TO GET TO KNOW JULIE? |
| 425 | I GOT THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW JULIE. |
| 426 | I GOT TIME. |
| 427 | UH, RACH? |
| 428 | I KNOW HER PRETTY WELL. |
| 429 | CAN I GO? |
| 430 | THAT'S FINE. |
| 431 | OKAY, JULIE, SO NOW LET'S START WITH YOUR CHILDHOOD. |
| 432 | WHAT WAS THAT LIKE? |
| 433 | WELL, IN A NUT SHELL... |
| 434 | UH, UH, UH, UH. |
| 435 | SO, UM, HAVE YOU TOLD YOUR PARENTS? |
| 436 | NO, BUT IT'LL BE OKAY. |
| 437 | THEY'RE PRETTY COOL. |
| 438 | MY BROTHER'S STRAIGHT, SO... |
| 439 | HERE YOU GO. |
| 440 | YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 441 | I JUST HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION. |
| 442 | UM, IF YOU HAD FIGURED THIS OUT SOONER |
| 443 | AND, UM... I HAD BEEN AROUND |
| 444 | DO YOU THINK THAT |
| 445 | I WOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE WHO..? |
| 446 | NO, NO. THAT'S RIGHT. |
| 447 | DON'T TELL ME. |
| 448 | I DON'T THINK EITHER ANSWER WOULD MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. |
| 449 | HERE. |
| 450 | I LOVE YOU, PHOEBE. |
| 451 | SO YOUR BROTHER'S STRAIGHT, HUH? |
| 452 | SERIOUSLY. |
| 453 | AND MY SECOND GRADE TEACHER WAS MISS THOMAS. |
| 454 | AND MY FIRST GRADE TEACHER WAS MRS. COBB. |
| 455 | MRS.... MRS. GOB? |
| 456 | NO, COBB. |
| 457 | LIKE COBB SALAD. |
| 458 | HMM. OKAY. |
| 459 | NOW, WHAT EXACTLY IS IN A COBB SALAD? |
| 460 | I'M GOING HOME. |
| 461 | WHY? |
| 462 | SAY GOODNIGHT, RACH. |
| 463 | THAT JULIE'S A TALKER, HUH? |
| 464 | GOODNIGHT. |
| 465 | WHEW! |
| 466 | GOODNIGHT. |
| 467 | GOODNIGHT. |
| 468 | IT'S PRETTY LATE. |
| 469 | YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT STILL PLANNING ON... |
| 470 | OH... NO, NO, I AM. |
| 471 | OH. OH, WELL... |
| 472 | OH, HEY, ARE YOU NERVOUS? |
| 473 | NO. |
| 474 | NO, I, UH... |
| 475 | I HAVE DONE IT BEFORE. |
| 476 | WELL, OKAY, I MEAN... |
| 477 | HOW ARE YOU GOING TO HANDLE IT? |
| 478 | ARE YOU GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT BEFOREHAND? |
| 479 | ARE YOU JUST GOING TO POUNCE? |
| 480 | I, UH... I DON'T KNOW. |
| 481 | I GUESS I'M JUST GOING TO... |
| 482 | SEE... SEE WHAT HAPPENS. |
| 483 | OKAY. |
| 484 | GOOD LUCK. |
| 485 | WHAT, UH..? |
| 486 | ( clears throat ) |
| 487 | WHAT? |
| 488 | WELL, NOTHING. |
| 489 | I MEAN, UM... |
| 490 | IT IS YOUR FIRST TIME WITH HER |
| 491 | AND, YOU KNOW |
| 492 | IF THE FIRST TIME DOESN'T GO WELL |
| 493 | WELL, THEN, THAT'S PRETTY DARN HARD |
| 494 | TO RECOVER FROM. |
| 495 | OKAY, NOW I'M NERVOUS. |
| 496 | WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD PUT IT OFF. |
| 497 | NO, I DON'T WANT TO PUT IT OFF. |
| 498 | I... |
| 499 | GOD, I'M JUST... |
| 500 | I SPENT LAST YEAR BEING SO UNBELIEVABLY MISERABLE. |
| 501 | AND NOW, NOW... I'M ACTUALLY HAPPY. |
| 502 | YOU KNOW, I MEAN, REALLY HAPPY. |
| 503 | I JUST, I JUST... |
| 504 | DON'T WANT TO... |
| 505 | I DON'T WANT TO MESS IT UP. |
| 506 | YOU KNOW? |
| 507 | I KNOW. |
| 508 | YEAH. |
| 509 | I'M SORRY. |
| 510 | NO, IT'S... |
| 511 | IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. |
| 512 | RIGHT. |
| 513 | MAYBE IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS TOUGH. |
| 514 | MAYBE YOU WERE ON THE RIGHT TRACK |
| 515 | WITH THAT WHOLE, YOU KNOW, SPONTANEOUS THING. |
| 516 | I MEAN, WOMEN REALLY LIKE THAT. |
| 517 | REALLY? |
| 518 | YEAH. |
| 519 | I MEAN, YOU KNOW... |
| 520 | I MEAN, IF IT WERE ME... |
| 521 | YEAH. |
| 522 | I'D WANT YOU TO... |
| 523 | WHAT? |
| 524 | I DON'T KNOW, CATCH ME OFF-GUARD |
| 525 | YOU KNOW, WITH LIKE A REALLY GOOD KISS. |
| 526 | YOU KNOW, REALLY... |
| 527 | SORT OF, UM, SOFT... AT FIRST. |
| 528 | AND THEN MAYBE, UM... |
| 529 | BRUSH THE HAIR AWAY FROM MY FACE. |
| 530 | YEAH. |
| 531 | AND THEN LOOK |
| 532 | FAR INTO MY EYES... |
| 533 | IN A WAY THAT LET'S ME KNOW SOMETHING... |
| 534 | AMAZING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN. |
| 535 | UH-HUH. |
| 536 | AND THEN, I DON'T KNOW-- |
| 537 | THEN YOU'D PULL ME REALLY CLOSE TO YOU |
| 538 | SO THAT, SO THAT I'D BE PRESSED UP |
| 539 | RIGHT AGAINST YOU. |
| 540 | AND, UM... |
| 541 | IT WOULD GET KIND OF... |
| 542 | SWEATY... |
| 543 | AND, UH, AND BLURRY... |
| 544 | AND THEN IT'S JUST HAPPENING. |
| 545 | ( sighs ) |
| 546 | THANKS, RACH. |
| 547 | GOODNIGHT. |
| 548 | OH... |
| 549 | ( whimpers ) |
| 550 | OH, GOD. |
| 551 | GOOD MORNING. |
| 552 | WELL, SOMEBODY GOT SOME LAST NIGHT. |
| 553 | TWICE. |
| 554 | |
| 1 | Gomez now with a side headlock, a handful of goatee. |
| 2 | MAN, I SURE MISS JULIE. |
| 3 | SPANISH MIDGETS... |
| 4 | SPANISH MIDGETS WRESTLING... |
| 5 | JULIE. OKAY, YES, I SEE HOW YOU GOT THERE. |
| 6 | ( phone ringing ) |
| 7 | ( ringing ) |
| 8 | YOU EVER FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT THING'S FOR? |
| 9 | I'M TRYING THIS NEW SCREENING THING. |
| 10 | IF I'M ALWAYS ANSWERING THE PHONE |
| 11 | PEOPLE THINK I DON'T HAVE A LIFE. |
| 12 | MY GOD, RODRIGO NEVER GETS PINNED. |
| 13 | Joey: Here comes the beep. |
| 14 | You know what to do. |
| 15 | ( beeps ) |
| 16 | Woman: Hello. I'm looking for Bob. |
| 17 | This is Jade. |
| 18 | I don't know if you're still at this number |
| 19 | but I was just thinking about us and how great it was |
| 20 | and I know it's been three years |
| 21 | but I was kind of hoping we could hook up again, you know? |
| 22 | I barely had the nerve to make this call |
| 23 | so you know what I did? |
| 24 | WHAT? |
| 25 | I got a little drunk... and naked. |
| 26 | BOB HERE. |
| 27 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 28 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 29 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 30 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 31 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 32 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 33 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 34 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 35 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 36 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 37 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 39 | SO, UH... WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? |
| 40 | Oh, you know, the usual: |
| 41 | teaching aerobics |
| 42 | partying way too much. |
| 43 | ( laughing ): Oh, and in case you were wondering |
| 44 | those are my legs on the new James Bond poster. |
| 45 | CAN YOU HOLD ON A MOMENT? |
| 46 | I HAVE ANOTHER CALL. |
| 47 | I LOVE HER. |
| 48 | I KNOW. |
| 49 | I'M BACK. |
| 50 | So are we going to get together or what? |
| 51 | UM, ABSOLUTELY. |
| 52 | UH, HOW ABOUT TOMORROW AFTERNOON? |
| 53 | YOU KNOW CENTRAL PERK IN THE VILLAGE, SAY FIVE-ISH? |
| 54 | Great. I'll see you then. |
| 55 | OKAY. |
| 56 | OKAY. |
| 57 | HAVING A PHONE HAS FINALLY PAID OFF. |
| 58 | OKAY, EVEN THOUGH YOU DO DO A GOOD BOB IMPRESSION |
| 59 | I'M THINKING WHEN SHE SEES YOU TOMORROW |
| 60 | SHE'S PROBABLY GOING TO REALIZE, "HEY, YOU'RE NOT BOB." |
| 61 | I AM HOPING THAT WHEN BOB |
| 62 | DOESN'T SHOW UP, SHE WILL SEEK COMFORT |
| 63 | IN THE OPEN ARMS OF THE WRY STRANGER |
| 64 | AT THE NEXT TABLE. |
| 65 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 66 | YOU ARE PURE EVIL. |
| 67 | OKAY, PURE EVIL. |
| 68 | HORNY AND ALONE. |
| 69 | I'VE DONE THIS. |
| 70 | Ross: I'M AT MONICA'S. |
| 71 | YEAH, YEAH, EVERYBODY'S HERE. |
| 72 | HEY, EVERYBODY, SAY HI TO JULIE IN NEW MEXICO. |
| 73 | HI. HI, JULIE. |
| 74 | ( sarcastically ): HI, JULIE. |
| 75 | WHAT? |
| 76 | WHILE ROSS IS ON THE PHONE |
| 77 | EVERYBODY OWES ME 62 BUCKS FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. |
| 78 | UM... |
| 79 | IS THERE ANY CHANCE THAT YOU'RE ROUNDING UP? |
| 80 | YOU KNOW, LIKE FROM, LIKE, 20? |
| 81 | WE GOT THE GIFT, THE CONCERT AND THE CAKE. |
| 82 | DO WE NEED A CAKE? |
| 83 | I KNOW IT'S A LITTLE STEEP. |
| 84 | YEAH, WHOOSH! |
| 85 | BUT IT'S ROSS. |
| 86 | YEAH. |
| 87 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 88 | ALL RIGHT? OKAY. |
| 89 | I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER. |
| 90 | I GOT TO GO... DO A THING. |
| 91 | OKAY, SWEETHEART |
| 92 | I'LL CALL YOU LATER TONIGHT. |
| 93 | YOU'RE NOT REALLY GOING TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS, ARE YOU? |
| 94 | YOU KNOW, I THINK I MIGHT JUST. |
| 95 | SO, UH, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING FOR DINNER TONIGHT? |
| 96 | WELL, I GUESS I GOT TO START SAVING UP |
| 97 | FOR ROSS' BIRTHDAY |
| 98 | SO I GUESS I'LL JUST STAY HOME AND EAT DUST BUNNIES. |
| 99 | CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW MUCH THIS IS GOING TO COST? |
| 100 | DO YOU GUYS EVER GET THE FEELING THAT, UM... |
| 101 | CHANDLER AND THOSE GUYS JUST DON'T GET |
| 102 | THAT WE DON'T MAKE AS MUCH MONEY AS THEY DO? |
| 103 | YES, YEAH. YES. |
| 104 | THEY'RE ALWAYS SAYING, "LET'S GO HERE. LET'S GO THERE." |
| 105 | LIKE WE CAN AFFORD TO GO |
| 106 | HERE AND THERE. |
| 107 | YES, YES, AND WE ALWAYS HAVE TO GO SOMEPLACE NICE, YOU KNOW? |
| 108 | GOD, AND IT'S NOT LIKE WE CAN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT |
| 109 | 'CAUSE, LIKE, THIS IS A BIRTHDAY THING, YOU KNOW |
| 110 | AND IT'S FOR ROSS. |
| 111 | FOR ROSS. |
| 112 | FOR ROSS. |
| 113 | ROSS' BIRTHDAY. ROSS. |
| 114 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 115 | HI. WHAT? |
| 116 | OKAY, I'M AT WORK. |
| 117 | IT'S AN ORDINARY DAY-- |
| 118 | YOU KNOW, CHOP, CHOP, CHOP, SAUTE, SAUTE, SAUTE. |
| 119 | SUDDENLY, LEON, THE MANAGER, CALLS ME INTO HIS OFFICE. |
| 120 | THEY FIRED THE HEAD LUNCH CHEF, AND GUESS WHO GOT THE JOB? |
| 121 | IF IT'S NOT YOU, THIS IS A HORRIBLE STORY. |
| 122 | FORTUNATELY IT IS ME, AND THEY MADE ME |
| 123 | HEAD OF PURCHASING, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. |
| 124 | OH, THAT'S SO COOL. |
| 125 | I RAN INTO CHANDLER AND ROSS. |
| 126 | THEY THINK WE SHOULD GO CELEBRATE, SOMEPLACE NICE. |
| 127 | OH. |
| 128 | YEAH, SOMEPLACE NICE. |
| 129 | YEAH. |
| 130 | HOW MUCH YOU THINK I CAN GET FOR MY KIDNEY? |
| 131 | Ross: I'M TELLING YOU. |
| 132 | YOU CAN'T DO THIS. |
| 133 | I CAN NEVER GET A GIRL LIKE THAT |
| 134 | WITH CONVENTIONAL METHODS. |
| 135 | THAT DOESN'T MATTER. |
| 136 | SHE WANTED TO CALL BOB. |
| 137 | HEY, FOR ALL WE KNOW |
| 138 | BOB IS WHO SHE WAS MEANT TO BE WITH. |
| 139 | YOU MAY BE DESTROYING TWO PEOPLE'S CHANCE FOR HAPPINESS. |
| 140 | WE DON'T KNOW BOB. |
| 141 | OKAY? WE KNOW ME. |
| 142 | WE LIKE ME. |
| 143 | PLEASE LET ME BE HAPPY. |
| 144 | GO OVER THERE AND TELL THAT WOMAN THE TRUTH. |
| 145 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 146 | GO. |
| 147 | HI. |
| 148 | HI. |
| 149 | ( clearing throat ) |
| 150 | LISTEN, I HAVE TO, UM... |
| 151 | I HAVE TO-- I HAVE TO CONFESS SOMETHING. |
| 152 | YES? |
| 153 | WHOEVER STOOD YOU UP IS A JERK. |
| 154 | HOW DID YOU..? |
| 155 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 156 | I JUST HAD THIS WEIRD SENSE. |
| 157 | BUT THAT'S ME. |
| 158 | I'M WEIRD AND SENSITIVE. |
| 159 | TISSUE? |
| 160 | ( sniffles ): THANKS. |
| 161 | NO, YOU KEEP THE PACK. |
| 162 | I'M ALL CRIED OUT TODAY. |
| 163 | ( laughs ) |
| 164 | ( tapping glass ) |
| 165 | ( clearing throat ) |
| 166 | OKAY, OKAY. |
| 167 | OH. |
| 168 | HERE IS TO MY SISTER |
| 169 | THE NEWLY APPOINTED HEAD LUNCH CHEF. |
| 170 | ALSO IN CHARGE OF PURCHASING. |
| 171 | NEWLY APPOINTED HEAD LUNCH CHEF ALSO IN CHARGE OF PURCHASING. |
| 172 | WHO HAS HER OWN DESK WHEN ROLAND'S NOT THERE. |
| 173 | UH, LUNCH CHEF, PURCHASING |
| 174 | HER OWN DESK WHEN ROLAND'S NOT THERE. |
| 175 | HERE'S TO MY LITTLE SISTER... |
| 176 | AND I GOT A BEEPER. |
| 177 | OH, COOL. |
| 178 | LET'S SEE. |
| 179 | THAT'S FINE. |
| 180 | I'LL JUST WAIT. |
| 181 | OH, SORRY. |
| 182 | Joey: SORRY, SORRY. |
| 183 | MONICA. |
| 184 | ( all toasting ) |
| 185 | CHEERS. |
| 186 | ARE WE READY TO ORDER? |
| 187 | WE HAVEN'T EVEN LOOKED YET. |
| 188 | WHEN YOU DO, LET ME KNOW. |
| 189 | I'LL BE OVER THERE ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT. |
| 190 | WOW. LOOK AT THESE PRICES. |
| 191 | YEAH. THESE ARE PRETTY CHA-CHING. |
| 192 | I KNOW. |
| 193 | WHAT ARE THESE-- LIKE FAMOUS CHICKENS? |
| 194 | HEY, SORRY I'M LATE. |
| 195 | CONGRATULATIONS, MON. |
| 196 | THANKS. |
| 197 | I'M NOT SORRY I'M LATE. |
| 198 | HOW INCREDIBLE WAS MY AFTERNOON WITH JADE? |
| 199 | PRETTY INCREDIBLE ACCORDING TO THE MESSAGE |
| 200 | SHE LEFT ON MY MACHINE. |
| 201 | HEY, CHANDLER, WHY IS THIS WOMAN |
| 202 | LEAVING A MESSAGE FOR YOU ON MY MACHINE? |
| 203 | I HAD TO TELL HER MY NUMBER WAS YOUR NUMBER |
| 204 | BECAUSE I COULDN'T TELL HER |
| 205 | THAT MY NUMBER WAS MY NUMBER |
| 206 | BECAUSE SHE THINKS |
| 207 | THAT MY NUMBER IS BOB'S NUMBER. |
| 208 | HEY, TELL ME AGAIN. |
| 209 | WHAT DO I DO WHEN MR. ROPER CALLS? |
| 210 | DO I DARE ASK? |
| 211 | YES, I'LL START WITH THE CARPACCIO. |
| 212 | THEN I'LL HAVE THE GRILLED PRAWNS. |
| 213 | GREAT, SAME FOR ME. |
| 214 | AND FOR THE GENTLEMAN? |
| 215 | YEAH, I'LL HAVE THE THAI CHICKEN PIZZA. |
| 216 | HEY, LOOK, IF I GET IT WITHOUT THE NUTS |
| 217 | AND LEEKS AND STUFF, IS IT CHEAPER? |
| 218 | YOU'D THINK, WOULDN'T YOU? |
| 219 | MISS? |
| 220 | OKAY. I WILL HAVE THE, UH... |
| 221 | ( whispering ): SIDE SALAD. |
| 222 | ( whispering ): AND WHAT WOULD THAT BE ON THE SIDE OF? |
| 223 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 224 | WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT IT RIGHT HERE NEXT TO MY WATER. |
| 225 | OKAY. |
| 226 | AND FOR YOU? |
| 227 | UM... |
| 228 | I'M GOING TO HAVE A CUP OF THE CUCUMBER SOUP |
| 229 | AND, UM... |
| 230 | TAKE CARE. |
| 231 | I WILL HAVE THE CAJUN CATFISH. |
| 232 | ANYTHING ELSE? |
| 233 | HOW ABOUT A VERSE OF "KILLING ME SOFTLY"? |
| 234 | YOU'RE GOING TO SNEEZE IN MY FISH, AREN'T YOU? |
| 235 | ( crunching ) |
| 236 | Ross: PLUS TIP, DIVIDED BY SIX... |
| 237 | OKAY, EVERYONE OWES 28 BUCKS. |
| 238 | Chandler: OKAY. |
| 239 | WHAT, UM, EVERYONE? |
| 240 | OH. |
| 241 | YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY. |
| 242 | THANK YOU. |
| 243 | MONICA SHOULDN'T PAY. |
| 244 | OH... |
| 245 | THANK YOU. |
| 246 | Ross: SO FIVE OF US IS... |
| 247 | $33.50 APIECE. |
| 248 | NO. HUH-UH, NO WAY. |
| 249 | NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. |
| 250 | WHOA, WHOA, PROM NIGHT FLASHBACK. |
| 251 | I'M SORRY, MONICA. |
| 252 | I'M REALLY HAPPY YOU GOT PROMOTED |
| 253 | BUT COLD CUCUMBER MUSH FOR THIRTY-SOMETHING BUCKS? |
| 254 | NO! |
| 255 | RACHEL JUST HAD THAT LITTLE SALAD |
| 256 | AND JOEY WITH HIS, LIKE, TEENY PIZZA! |
| 257 | IT'S JUST... |
| 258 | OKAY, PHEEBS. SHH. SHH. |
| 259 | HOW ABOUT WE'LL EACH JUST PAY FOR WHAT WE HAD, OKAY? |
| 260 | IT'S NO BIG DEAL. |
| 261 | NOT FOR YOU. |
| 262 | ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 263 | I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GET INTO THIS RIGHT NOW. |
| 264 | IT'LL JUST MAKE EVERYBODY UNCOMFORTABLE. |
| 265 | ALL RIGHT, FINE. FINE. |
| 266 | WHOA, WHOA. |
| 267 | YOU CAN TELL US. |
| 268 | HELLO, IT'S US. |
| 269 | WE'LL BE FINE. |
| 270 | YEAH. |
| 271 | ( crunching ) |
| 272 | OKAY, UH... |
| 273 | UH, WE THREE |
| 274 | FEEL LIKE THAT, UH... |
| 275 | SOMETIMES YOU GUYS DON'T GET THAT, UH... |
| 276 | ( clearing throat ) |
| 277 | ( clearing throat ) |
| 278 | WE DON'T HAVE AS MUCH MONEY AS YOU. |
| 279 | OKAY. |
| 280 | I HEAR YOU. |
| 281 | WE CAN TALK ABOUT THAT. |
| 282 | WELL, THEN... |
| 283 | LET'S. |
| 284 | WELL, UM, I-I GUESS |
| 285 | I JUST NEVER THINK OF MONEY AS AN ISSUE. |
| 286 | THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU HAVE IT. |
| 287 | THAT'S A GOOD POINT. |
| 288 | MMM... |
| 289 | SO, UM, HOW COME YOU GUYS |
| 290 | HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE? |
| 291 | 'CAUSE IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING, YOU KNOW? |
| 292 | LIKE WITH MONICA'S NEW JOB |
| 293 | OR ROSS'S BIRTHDAY HOOPLA. |
| 294 | Ross: WH-WHA..? |
| 295 | WHOA! HEY! I DON'T WANT MY BIRTHDAY TO BE THE SOURCE |
| 296 | OF ANY KIND OF NEGATIVE... |
| 297 | THERE'S GOING TO BE A HOOPLA? |
| 298 | BASICALLY, THERE'S THE THING |
| 299 | AND THEN THERE'S THE STUFF AFTER THE THING. |
| 300 | IF IT MAKES ANYBODY FEEL BETTER |
| 301 | THEN WE CAN JUST FORGET THE THING |
| 302 | AND WE'LL JUST DO THE GIFT. |
| 303 | G-GIFT? THE THING'S NOT THE GIFT? |
| 304 | NO, THE THING WAS WE WERE GOING TO SEE HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH. |
| 305 | HOOTIE AND... OH, MY! |
| 306 | I-I CAN CATCH THEM ON THE RADIO. |
| 307 | OH, NO, NOW I FEEL BAD. |
| 308 | YOU WANT TO GO TO THE CONCERT. |
| 309 | NO! LOOK, HEY, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY |
| 310 | AND THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT WE ALL BE TOGETHER. |
| 311 | ALL OF US. |
| 312 | TOGETHER. |
| 313 | NOT AT THE CONCERT. |
| 314 | OKAY. |
| 315 | YEAH. |
| 316 | THANK YOU. |
| 317 | THANKS. |
| 318 | YEAH. |
| 319 | SO, THE EBOLA VIRUS-- THAT'S GOT TO SUCK, HUH? |
| 320 | WHAT'S IN THE BAG? |
| 321 | I DON'T KNOW, CHANDLER. |
| 322 | LET'S TAKE A LOOK. |
| 323 | UH, IT'S LIKE A SKIT. |
| 324 | WHY, IT'S DINNER FOR SIX-- |
| 325 | FIVE STEAKS AND AN EGGPLANT FOR PHOEBE. |
| 326 | HOO. |
| 327 | COOL. |
| 328 | WE SWITCHED MEAT SUPPLIERS AT WORK |
| 329 | AND THE NEW GUYS GAVE ME THE STEAKS. |
| 330 | BUT, WAIT, THERE'S MORE. |
| 331 | HEY, CHANDLER, WHAT IS IN THAT ENVELOPE? |
| 332 | BY THE WAY, THIS DIDN'T SEEM SO DORKY OUT IN THE HALL. |
| 333 | COME ON. |
| 334 | WHY, IT'S SIX TICKETS TO HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH. |
| 335 | THE BLOWFISH. |
| 336 | IT'S ON US, ALL RIGHT? |
| 337 | SO, DON'T WORRY-- THIS IS... OUR TREAT. |
| 338 | SO... THANK YOU. |
| 339 | COULD YOU BE LESS ENTHUSED? |
| 340 | LOOK, IT'S A NICE GESTURE. |
| 341 | IT IS, BUT IT JUST FEELS LIKE... |
| 342 | LIKE? |
| 343 | CHARITY. |
| 344 | CHARITY? |
| 345 | WE'RE JUST TRYING TO DO A NICE THING HERE. |
| 346 | YEAH, BUT ROSS, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND |
| 347 | YOUR NICE THING MAKES US FEEL ABOUT THIS BIG. |
| 348 | ACTUALLY, IT MAKES US FEEL THAT BIG. |
| 349 | WHAT? I DON'T... I DON'T UNDERSTAND. |
| 350 | I MEAN, YOU.. |
| 351 | IT'S LIKE WE CAN'T WIN WITH YOU GUYS. |
| 352 | YEAH, I MEAN, IF YOU GUYS FEEL THIS BIG |
| 353 | MAYBE THAT'S NOT OUR FAULT. |
| 354 | MAYBE THAT'S JUST... HOW YOU FEEL. |
| 355 | OH... NOW YOU'RE TELLING US HOW WE FEEL. |
| 356 | OKAY, WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE TALKED ABOUT THIS. |
| 357 | ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING TO PASS ON THE CONCERT |
| 358 | 'CAUSE I'M JUST NOT IN A VERY HOOTIE PLACE RIGHT NOW. |
| 359 | ME NEITHER. |
| 360 | ME TOO. |
| 361 | GUYS, WE BOUGHT THE TICKETS. |
| 362 | THEN YOU'LL HAVE EXTRA SEATS, YOU KNOW |
| 363 | FOR ALL YOUR TIARAS AND STUFF. |
| 364 | WHY DID YOU LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU SAID THAT? |
| 365 | SO, I GUESS NOW WE CAN'T GO. |
| 366 | COME ON, YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. |
| 367 | WE ALWAYS HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER? |
| 368 | YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 369 | YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 370 | FINE. |
| 371 | FINE. |
| 372 | FINE! |
| 373 | FINE. |
| 374 | FINE. |
| 375 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 376 | WE'RE GOING TO GO. |
| 377 | IT'S NOT FOR ANOTHER SIX HOURS. |
| 378 | WE'RE GOING TO GO THEN. |
| 379 | CHANDLER. |
| 380 | YEAH? |
| 381 | OH, GEEZ... OH... ARE YOU READY? |
| 382 | YES. LET ME GRAB |
| 383 | MY JACKET AND TELL YOU I HAD SEX TODAY. |
| 384 | WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. |
| 385 | WHAT? YOU... YOU HAD SEX TODAY? |
| 386 | WOW, IT SOUNDS EVEN COOLER WHEN SOMEBODY ELSE SAYS IT. |
| 387 | I WAS AWESOME, OKAY? |
| 388 | SHE WAS BITING HER LIP TO STOP FROM SCREAMING. |
| 389 | W-WOW. |
| 390 | IT'S BEEN A WHILE, BUT I TOOK THAT AS A GOOD SIGN. |
| 391 | ( phone ringing ) |
| 392 | STILL DOING THE SCREENING THING? |
| 393 | I HAD SEX TODAY. |
| 394 | I NEVER HAVE TO ANSWER THAT PHONE AGAIN. |
| 395 | Joey: Here comes the beep. You know what to do. |
| 396 | ( beeping ) |
| 397 | Hey, Bob, it's Jade. |
| 398 | I just wanted to tell you that I was really hurt |
| 399 | when you didn't show up |
| 400 | the other day |
| 401 | and, just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy. |
| 402 | BOB HERE. |
| 403 | Oh, hi. |
| 404 | SO, UH, YOU MET SOMEONE, HUH? |
| 405 | Yes. Yes, I did. |
| 406 | In fact, I had sex with him two hours ago. |
| 407 | SO, UH... |
| 408 | HOW WAS HE? |
| 409 | Eh. |
| 410 | "EH?" |
| 411 | Oh, Bob, he was nothing compared to you. |
| 412 | I thought about you the whole time. |
| 413 | I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming your name. |
| 414 | WELL, THAT MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD. |
| 415 | It was just so awkward and bumpy. |
| 416 | ( no audio ) |
| 417 | WELL, MAYBE HE HAD SOME KIND OF NEW, UH, COOL STYLE |
| 418 | THAT YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH |
| 419 | AND MAYBE YOU HAVE TO GET USED TO IT. |
| 420 | There really wasn't much time to get used to it |
| 421 | if you know what I mean. |
| 422 | YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 423 | I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO ENJOY THIS. |
| 424 | YEAH, I KNOW. |
| 425 | IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. |
| 426 | WE ALL SHOULD BE HERE. |
| 427 | SO, LET'S GO. |
| 428 | WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD STAY FOR ONE SONG. |
| 429 | YEAH. I MEAN, IT'D BE RUDE TO THEM |
| 430 | FOR US TO LEAVE NOW. |
| 431 | THE GUYS ARE PROBABLY HAVING A GREAT TIME. |
| 432 | COME ON, YOU GUYS, ONE MORE TIME. |
| 433 | OKAY. |
| 434 | ONE. |
| 435 | NO. |
| 436 | THAT WAS AMAZING! |
| 437 | EXCELLENT! |
| 438 | I CAN'T BELIEVE THE GUYS MISSED THAT. |
| 439 | WHAT GUYS? |
| 440 | OH, YEAH. |
| 441 | EXCUSE ME. |
| 442 | YOU'RE MONICA GELLER, AREN'T YOU? |
| 443 | DO I KNOW YOU? |
| 444 | YOU USED TO BE MY BABY-SITTER. |
| 445 | OH, MY GOD, LITTLE STEVIE FISHER? |
| 446 | HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? |
| 447 | GOOD. GOOD. |
| 448 | I'M A LAWYER NOW. |
| 449 | YOU CAN'T BE A LAWYER. YOU'RE EIGHT. |
| 450 | WELL, LISTEN, IT WAS NICE TO SEE YOU. |
| 451 | I GOT TO RUN BACKSTAGE. |
| 452 | WAIT. BACKSTAGE? |
| 453 | YEAH. MY FIRM REPRESENTS THE BAND. |
| 454 | ROSS. CHANDLER. |
| 455 | HOW ARE YOU? |
| 456 | WANT TO MEET THE GROUP? |
| 457 | YEAH, WE DO. |
| 458 | COME ON. |
| 459 | ARE YOU ONE OF THE ONES |
| 460 | THAT FOOLED AROUND WITH MY DAD? |
| 461 | HEY, YOU GUYS. |
| 462 | HAPPY BIRTHDAY. |
| 463 | OH, THANK YOU. |
| 464 | THANKS. |
| 465 | SO, UH... HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT LAST NIGHT? |
| 466 | WELL, IT PRETTY MUCH SUCKED. |
| 467 | HOW WAS YOURS? |
| 468 | OURS PRETTY MUCH SUCKED TOO. |
| 469 | BUT I DID RUN INTO LITTLE STEVIE FISHER. |
| 470 | REMEMBER HIM? |
| 471 | OH, YEAH. I USED TO BABY-SIT HIM. |
| 472 | HEY, HOW'S HIS DAD? |
| 473 | GOOD. |
| 474 | ASIDE FROM THAT |
| 475 | THE WHOLE EVENING WAS A BUST. |
| 476 | YEAH, WE... WE REALLY MISSED YOU GUYS. |
| 477 | YEAH, LOOK, UH... WE WERE JUST SAYING |
| 478 | THIS WHOLE THING IS SO STUPID. |
| 479 | WE JUST HAVE TO REALLY, REALLY, REALLY NOT LET STUFF LIKE THIS |
| 480 | ABOUT MONEY GET, LIKE... |
| 481 | IS THAT A HICKEY? |
| 482 | OH, NO, I JUST... I FELL DOWN. |
| 483 | ON SOMEONE'S LIPS? |
| 484 | WHERE'D YOU GET THE HICKEY? |
| 485 | YOU KNOW, A PARTY OR... |
| 486 | WHAT PARTY? |
| 487 | WELL, IT WASN'T A PARTY |
| 488 | SO MUCH AS A... A GATHERING OF PEOPLE... |
| 489 | ...WITH FOOD AND MUSIC AND... AND... AND THE BAND. |
| 490 | YOU PARTIED WITH HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH? |
| 491 | YES, APPARENTLY, STEVIE AND HOOTIE ARE LIKE THIS. |
| 492 | WHO GAVE YOU THAT HICKEY? |
| 493 | THAT WOULD BE THE WORK OF A BLOWFISH. |
| 494 | I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. |
| 495 | I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. |
| 496 | WE'RE JUST, LIKE, SITTING AT HOME |
| 497 | JUST TRYING TO GUESS JOEY'S FINGERS, AND... |
| 498 | AND YOU GUYS ARE OUT |
| 499 | LIKE, PARTYING AND HAVING FUN |
| 500 | AND, YOU KNOW, ALL "HEY, BLOWFISH, SUCK ON MY NECK." |
| 501 | LOOK, DON'T BLAME US. |
| 502 | YOU GUYS COULD HAVE BEEN THERE. |
| 503 | OH, WHAT? |
| 504 | AS PART OF YOUR POOR FRIENDS OUTREACH PROGRAM? |
| 505 | ( beeping ) |
| 506 | GREAT. IT'S WORK. |
| 507 | I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. |
| 508 | I'M SORRY WE MAKE MORE MONEY THAN YOU |
| 509 | BUT WE'RE NOT GOING TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT. |
| 510 | WE WORK REALLY HARD FOR IT. |
| 511 | AND WE DON'T WORK HARD? |
| 512 | YEAH, HI. IT'S MONICA. |
| 513 | SOMETIMES WE LIKE TO DO STUFF |
| 514 | THAT COSTS A LITTLE MORE. |
| 515 | OH, AND YOU FEEL LIKE WE HOLD YOU BACK? |
| 516 | YES. |
| 517 | ( Rachel gasping ) |
| 518 | NO. |
| 519 | ( all chattering ) |
| 520 | LEON, LEON, WAIT. |
| 521 | SHH, GUYS. |
| 522 | I DON'T UNDERSTAND. |
| 523 | THOSE STEAKS WERE JUST A GIFT FROM THE MEAT VENDOR. |
| 524 | THAT WAS NOT A KICK-BACK. |
| 525 | I MEAN, I'LL JUST REPLACE THEM |
| 526 | AND WE CAN FORGET THE WHOLE THING. |
| 527 | WHAT CORPORATE POLICY? |
| 528 | NO... |
| 529 | YEAH. |
| 530 | OKAY. |
| 531 | I JUST GOT FIRED. |
| 532 | OH! |
| 533 | OH. |
| 534 | WHY? |
| 535 | LET ME GET THAT. |
| 536 | YOU GOT FIVE BUCKS? |
| 537 | ( ringing ) |
| 538 | Joey: Here comes the beep. |
| 539 | You know what to do. |
| 540 | ( beeping ) |
| 541 | Jade: Hi. It's me. |
| 542 | Listen, Bob, I'm... I'm probably way out of line here. |
| 543 | I mean, it has been three years |
| 544 | and you're probably seeing someone else now |
| 545 | but if we could just have one night together |
| 546 | just for old time's sake-- one hot, steamy, wild night. |
| 547 | |
| 1 | WHO DA WENNY-BENNY BOY? |
| 2 | OH, YOU DA WENNY-WENNY- BENNY-BENNY BOY. |
| 3 | YES. |
| 4 | ( crying ) |
| 5 | OH, DON'T CRY. |
| 6 | DON'T CRY. |
| 7 | ( crying ) |
| 8 | WHY IS HE STILL CRYING? |
| 9 | LET ME HOLD HIM FOR A SEC. |
| 10 | THERE WE GO. |
| 11 | HUH? HUH? THERE WE ARE. |
| 12 | MAYBE IT'S ME. |
| 13 | DON'T BE SILLY. BEN LOVES YOU. |
| 14 | HE'S JUST BEING MR. CRANKY-PANTS. |
| 15 | YOU KNOW, I ONCE DATED A MISS CRANKY-PANTS. |
| 16 | LOVELY GIRL, KIND OF MOODY. |
| 17 | THERE WE GO, ALL BETTER. |
| 18 | THERE'S MY LITTLE BOY. |
| 19 | ( crying ) |
| 20 | ( crying louder ) |
| 21 | CAN I... UH... SEE SOMETHING? |
| 22 | ( crying ) |
| 23 | ( crying stops ) |
| 24 | ( crying ) |
| 25 | ( crying stops ) |
| 26 | COOL. |
| 27 | HE HATES ME. |
| 28 | MY NEPHEW HATES ME. |
| 29 | COME ON, DON'T DO THIS. |
| 30 | WHAT IF MY OWN BABY HATES ME? WHAT THEN? |
| 31 | DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S GOING TO BE |
| 32 | BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO DEAL |
| 33 | WITH THIS PROBLEM? |
| 34 | YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A BOYFRIEND YET. |
| 35 | JOEY, SHE DOES NOT LOOK FAT. |
| 36 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 37 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 39 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 40 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 41 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 42 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 43 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 44 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 45 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 46 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 47 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 48 | OH, HEY, MON. |
| 49 | ( crying ) |
| 50 | GOO! GOO! GOO! |
| 51 | ( crying ) |
| 52 | THAT IS SO FUNNY. |
| 53 | LET ME SEE THAT. |
| 54 | ( gulping ) |
| 55 | UGH... |
| 56 | YOU OKAY, ROSS? |
| 57 | I DON'T KNOW. UGH... |
| 58 | WHAT'S IN THIS PIE? |
| 59 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 60 | BUTTER AND EGGS AND FLOUR AND LIME AND KIWI... |
| 61 | KIWI? KIWI? |
| 62 | YOU SAID IT WAS A KEY LIME PIE. |
| 63 | NO, I DIDN'T. I SAID KIWI LIME. |
| 64 | THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO SPECIAL. |
| 65 | THAT'S WHAT'S GOING TO KILL ME. |
| 66 | I'M ALLERGIC TO KIWI. |
| 67 | NO, YOU'RE NOT. |
| 68 | YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO LOBSTER AND PEANUTS AND... |
| 69 | ( honking grunt ) |
| 70 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 71 | IT'S DEFINITELY GETTING WORSE. |
| 72 | IS YOUR TONGUE SWELLING UP? |
| 73 | EITHER THAT OR MY MOUTH IS GETTING SMALLER. |
| 74 | GET YOUR COAT. |
| 75 | WE'RE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL. |
| 76 | WILL HE BE OKAY? |
| 77 | YEAH, HE NEEDS A SHOT. |
| 78 | YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, IT'S GETTING BETTER. |
| 79 | IT IS. LET'S NOT GO. |
| 80 | ANYONE UP FOR SCRABBLE? |
| 81 | JACKET NOW! |
| 82 | BUT WHAT ABOUT BEN? |
| 83 | WE CAN'T BRING A BABY TO THE HOTHPITAL. |
| 84 | WE'LL WATCH HIM. |
| 85 | ( grunts ) |
| 86 | I DON'T THINK SO. |
| 87 | WHAT? I HAVE SEVEN CATHOLIC SISTERS. |
| 88 | I'VE TAKEN CARE OF HUNDREDS OF KIDS. |
| 89 | COME ON. |
| 90 | WE WANT TO DO IT, DON'T WE? |
| 91 | I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO PLAYING BASKETBALL |
| 92 | BUT I GUESS THAT'S OUT THE WINDOW. |
| 93 | IF YOU TAKE HIM FOR HIS WALK, BWING HIS HAT. |
| 94 | THERE'S MILK IN THE FWIDGE AND DIAPERS IN THE BAG. |
| 95 | HAT, MILK, DI... GOT IT. |
| 96 | LET'S GO. |
| 97 | ( speech garbled ) |
| 98 | THRO UP A THRO THRO, A THRO THRO. |
| 99 | CONSIDER IT DONE! |
| 100 | YOU UNDERSTOOD THAT? |
| 101 | YEAH. MY UNCLE SAL HAS A REALLY BIG TONGUE. |
| 102 | IS HE THE ONE WITH THE BEAUTIFUL WIFE? |
| 103 | RACH, WANT TO HEAR THE NEW SONG |
| 104 | I'M THINKING OF SINGING THIS AFTERNOON? |
| 105 | I WROTE IT IN THE SHOWER. |
| 106 | OKAY. |
| 107 | ♪ I'M IN THE SHOWER ♪ |
| 108 | ♪ AND I'M WRITING A SONG ♪ |
| 109 | ♪ STOP ME IF YOU'VE HEARD IT ♪ |
| 110 | ♪ MY SKIN IS SOAPY ♪ |
| 111 | ♪ AND MY HAIR IS WET ♪ |
| 112 | ♪ AND TEGRIN SPELLED BACKWARD ♪ |
| 113 | ♪ IS NIRGET. ♪ |
| 114 | RACHEL, SWEETHEART |
| 115 | COULD I SEE YOU FOR A MINUTE? |
| 116 | WHAT'S UP? |
| 117 | F.Y.I., I'VE DECIDED |
| 118 | TO PAY A PROFESSIONAL MUSICIAN |
| 119 | TO PLAY HERE ON SUNDAY AFTERNOONS. |
| 120 | HER NAME IS STEPHANIE... |
| 121 | SOMETHING. |
| 122 | SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE VERY GOOD. |
| 123 | BUT WHAT ABOUT PHOEBE? |
| 124 | RACHEL, IT'S NOT THAT YOUR FRIEND IS BAD. |
| 125 | IT'S... IT'S THAT SHE'S SO BAD |
| 126 | SHE MAKES ME WANT TO PUT MY FINGER |
| 127 | THROUGH MY EYE INTO MY BRAIN |
| 128 | AND SWIRL IT AROUND. |
| 129 | OKAY. |
| 130 | OKAY, SO YOU'RE NOT A FAN. |
| 131 | BUT, I MEAN, COME ON. |
| 132 | YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO HER. |
| 133 | UH... |
| 134 | OH, NO, NO, NO. |
| 135 | I HAVE TO DO THIS TO HER? |
| 136 | ♪ LATHER, RINSE, REPEAT ♪ |
| 137 | ♪ AND LATHER, RINSE, REPEAT ♪ |
| 138 | ♪ AND LATHER, RINSE, REPEAT ♪ |
| 139 | ♪ AS NEEDED. ♪ |
| 140 | YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK WE BROUGHT ENOUGH STUFF. |
| 141 | DID YOU FORGET TO PACK THE BABY'S ANVIL? |
| 142 | IT'S GOING TO BE WORTH IT. |
| 143 | IT'S A KNOWN FACT THAT WOMEN LOVE BABIES. |
| 144 | WOMEN LOVE GUYS WHO LOVE BABIES. |
| 145 | IT'S THE WHOLE SENSITIVE THING. |
| 146 | AIM HIM AT THAT PACK OF BABES. |
| 147 | MAYBE ONE OF THEM WILL BREAK AWAY. |
| 148 | NO, NO, WAIT. FORGET THEM. |
| 149 | WE GOT ONE-- HARD LEFT. |
| 150 | GIVE ME THE BABY. |
| 151 | NO, I'VE GOT HIM. |
| 152 | COME ON, SERIOUSLY. |
| 153 | OH, SERIOUSLY YOU WANT HIM? |
| 154 | HELLO. |
| 155 | HELLO. HELLO. |
| 156 | AND WHO IS THIS LITTLE CUTIE PIE? |
| 157 | WELL, DON'T THINK ME IMMODEST, BUT... |
| 158 | ME? |
| 159 | YOU WANT TO SMELL HIM? |
| 160 | I ASSUME WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE BABY NOW. |
| 161 | OH, YEAH. |
| 162 | HE'S GOT THAT GREAT BABY SMELL. |
| 163 | GET A WHIFF OF HIS HEAD. |
| 164 | I THINK MY UTERUS JUST SKIPPED A BEAT. |
| 165 | WHAT DID I TELL YOU? |
| 166 | IT'S GREAT YOU'RE DOING THIS. |
| 167 | WELL, WE ARE GREAT GUYS. |
| 168 | MY BROTHER AND HIS BOYFRIEND HAVE BEEN TRYING TO ADOPT. |
| 169 | WHAT AGENCY DID YOU TWO GO THROUGH? |
| 170 | BUT THIS IS MY GIG! |
| 171 | THIS IS WHERE I PLAY. |
| 172 | MY NAME IS WRITTEN OUT THERE IN CHALK. |
| 173 | YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T JUST ERASE CHALK. |
| 174 | HONEY, I'M SORRY. |
| 175 | AND HE'S GOING TO BE PAYING THIS WOMAN? |
| 176 | WHY DOESN'T HE GIVE HER A THRONE? |
| 177 | AND A CROWN, AND, LIKE A... |
| 178 | YOU KNOW... GOLD STICK WITH A BALL ON TOP? |
| 179 | TERRY IS A JERK. |
| 180 | THAT'S WHY WE'RE ALWAYS SAYING, "TERRY'S A JERK." |
| 181 | THAT'S WHERE THAT CAME FROM. |
| 182 | YEAH, OKAY. |
| 183 | YOU PROBABLY DID EVERYTHING YOU COULD. |
| 184 | OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 185 | LET ME JUST SEE WHAT ELSE I CAN DO. |
| 186 | WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET HER GO ON AFTER |
| 187 | STEPHANIE WHATEVER HER NAME IS. |
| 188 | YOU WON'T BE HERE, YOU DON'T PAY HER. |
| 189 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 190 | TERRY, I'LL EVEN CLEAN THE CAPPUCCINO MACHINE. |
| 191 | YOU DON'T CLEAN THE CAPPUCCINO MACHINE? |
| 192 | OF COURSE... |
| 193 | I CLEAN IT. |
| 194 | I MEAN, I WILL CLEAN IT. |
| 195 | I WILL CLEAN IT. |
| 196 | OH, ALL RIGHT. |
| 197 | FINE, FINE, FINE. |
| 198 | DONE. |
| 199 | REALLY? |
| 200 | YEAH. WHO'S WORKING FOR YOU, BABE? |
| 201 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 202 | THIS IS SO EXCITING. |
| 203 | HOW MUCH AM I GOING TO GET? |
| 204 | WHAT? |
| 205 | YOU SAID HE'S PAYING THE PEOPLE WHO PLAY. |
| 206 | OH, NO. NO, NO. |
| 207 | HE'S GOING TO BE PAYING THAT OTHER WOMAN |
| 208 | BECAUSE SHE'S A PROFESSIONAL. |
| 209 | I'M NOT GOING TO BE THE ONLY ONE WHO'S NOT GETTING PAID. |
| 210 | BUT, PHEEBS... |
| 211 | NO, UH-UH, I'M SORRY. |
| 212 | NO, I'M NOT SOME, LIKE, SLOPPY SECOND |
| 213 | YOU KNOW, CHARITY BAND. |
| 214 | THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF PLACES IN THIS CITY |
| 215 | WHERE PEOPLE WOULD BE HAPPY TO PAY TO HEAR ME PLAY. |
| 216 | Phoebe: ♪ WHEN I PLAY, I PLAY FOR ME ♪ |
| 217 | ♪ I DON'T NEED YOUR CHARITY ♪ |
| 218 | THANK YOU. |
| 219 | ♪ LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA ♪ |
| 220 | ♪ LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA. ♪ |
| 221 | THERE'S NO WAY I'M GOING TO GET A SHOT. |
| 222 | MAYBE THEY CAN TAKE THE NEEDLE |
| 223 | AND THQUIRT IT INTO MY MOUTH LIKE A THQUIRT GUN. |
| 224 | HELLO THERE. |
| 225 | I'M DR. KARLEN. |
| 226 | I SEE SOMEONE'S HAVING A LITTLE ALLERGIC REACTION. |
| 227 | YES. |
| 228 | DOCTOR, CAN I SEE YOU FOR JUST A MOMENT, PLEASE? |
| 229 | MY BROTHER HAS |
| 230 | A SLIGHT PHOBIA ABOUT NEEDLES. |
| 231 | DID YOU TELL HIM ABOUT MY THQUIRT GUN IDEA? |
| 232 | MY BROTHER, THE Ph.D. |
| 233 | WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF THERE'S ANY WAY TO TREAT THIS ORALLY. |
| 234 | NO. UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES |
| 235 | IT HAS TO BE AN INJECTION AND IT HAS TO BE NOW. |
| 236 | THO? |
| 237 | OHHH! |
| 238 | THAT'S GOOD. HAVE A SEAT. |
| 239 | DOCTOR SAYS IT'S GOT TO BE A NEEDLE. |
| 240 | YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE BRAVE, OKAY? |
| 241 | CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME? |
| 242 | OKAY. |
| 243 | OKAY. OH, BOY! |
| 244 | YOU ARE DOING SO GOOD. |
| 245 | YOU WANT TO SQUEEZE MY HAND? |
| 246 | YES. |
| 247 | DON'T SQUEEZE IT SO HARD. |
| 248 | REALLY, DON'T SQUEEZE IT SO HARD. |
| 249 | OW! LET GO OF MY HAND! |
| 250 | THAT'S A GOOD PLAN. |
| 251 | NEXT TIME WE WANT TO PICK UP WOMEN |
| 252 | WE'LL JUST GO TO THE PARK AND MAKE OUT. |
| 253 | TAXI! TAXI! |
| 254 | LOOK AT THAT TALENT. |
| 255 | JUST PRACTICING. |
| 256 | YOU'RE GOOD. CARRY ON. |
| 257 | COME ON. |
| 258 | HEY, YOU. |
| 259 | HE'S JUST ADORABLE. |
| 260 | CAN YOU TELL HIM THAT? |
| 261 | BECAUSE HE THINKS HE LOOKS TOO PINK. |
| 262 | SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS OUT DOING TODAY? |
| 263 | OH, WE'RE NOT OUT. NO, NO. |
| 264 | Joey: WE'RE JUST |
| 265 | TWO HETEROSEXUAL GUYS HANGING WITH THE SON |
| 266 | OF OUR OTHER HETEROSEXUAL FRIEND |
| 267 | DOING THE USUAL "STRAIGHT GUY" STUFF. |
| 268 | YOU DONE? |
| 269 | YEAH. |
| 270 | THERE'S OUR STOP. |
| 271 | GET OUT OF HERE. |
| 272 | THIS IS OUR STOP. |
| 273 | YOU GUYS LIVE AROUND HERE, TOO? |
| 274 | YEAH. WE LIVE IN THE BUILDING BY THE... |
| 275 | SIDEWALK. |
| 276 | YOU KNOW IT? |
| 277 | LOOK, SINCE WE'RE NEIGHBORS AND ALL |
| 278 | WHAT DO YOU SAY |
| 279 | WE GET TOGETHER FOR A DRINK? |
| 280 | SO, DO YOU WANT TO GO TO MARKEL'S? |
| 281 | OH, SURE. THEY LOVE US OVER THERE. |
| 282 | HEY, WHERE'S YOUR BABY? |
| 283 | BEN! |
| 284 | BEN! |
| 285 | BEN! |
| 286 | BEN! BEN! |
| 287 | OH, THAT'S GOOD! |
| 288 | MAYBE HE'LL HEAR YOU AND PULL THE CORD! |
| 289 | STOP THE BUS! |
| 290 | WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! |
| 291 | WAIT, WAIT! WAIT! |
| 292 | ( gasping ) |
| 293 | ARE SURE HE DIDN'T BREAK IT? |
| 294 | IT REALLY HURTS. |
| 295 | NO, IT'S JUST A GOOD BONE BRUISE |
| 296 | AND... |
| 297 | RIGHT HERE |
| 298 | IS THE PUNCTURE WOUND FROM YOUR RING. |
| 299 | OH, I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY SORRY. |
| 300 | THAT'S OKAY. |
| 301 | SORRY. SORRY! |
| 302 | HEY! HEY, I GOT MY S's BACK! |
| 303 | ( chuckles ) |
| 304 | WHICH WE CAN CELEBRATE LATER. |
| 305 | CELEBRATE. |
| 306 | CELE... |
| 307 | ♪ HE WAS A DOUBLE-DOUBLE ♪ |
| 308 | ♪ DOUBLE-JOINTED BOY. ♪ |
| 309 | HEY. SO, UM... |
| 310 | ARE YOU THE PROFESSIONAL GUITAR PLAYER? |
| 311 | YEAH. I'M STEPHANIE. |
| 312 | OH. RIGHT, YEAH. |
| 313 | MY NAME WAS ON THERE |
| 314 | BUT NOW IT JUST SAYS "CARROT CAKE." |
| 315 | OKAY. |
| 316 | SO, UM, SO, UM, HOW MANY CHORDS DO YOU KNOW? |
| 317 | ALL OF THEM. |
| 318 | OH, YEAH? SO YOU KNOW "D"? |
| 319 | YEAH. |
| 320 | OKAY, DO YOU KNOW "A" MINOR? |
| 321 | YEAH. |
| 322 | OKAY. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO GO FROM "D" TO "A" MINOR? |
| 323 | ( snorts ) |
| 324 | YEAH. |
| 325 | OKAY. |
| 326 | UM, SO DOES YOUR GUITAR HAVE A STRAP? |
| 327 | NO. |
| 328 | OH. MINE DOES. |
| 329 | BYE. |
| 330 | OKAY... |
| 331 | ♪ STEPHANIE KNOWS ALL THE CHORDS ♪ |
| 332 | COME ON, PICK UP! PICK UP! |
| 333 | PICK UP! PICK UP! HELLO... |
| 334 | TRANSIT AUTHORITY? |
| 335 | YES, HELLO. |
| 336 | I'M DOING RESEARCH FOR A BOOK |
| 337 | AND I WAS WONDERING WHAT SOMEBODY MIGHT DO |
| 338 | IF THEY LEFT A BABY ON A CITY BUS. |
| 339 | YES, I DO REALIZE THAT'D BE A VERY STUPID CHARACTER. |
| 340 | HI. HERE'S THE DEAL. |
| 341 | WE LOST A CAR SEAT ON A BUS TODAY. |
| 342 | IT'S WHITE WITH A HANDLE AND IT FITS ON A STROLLER. |
| 343 | OH, AND THERE WAS A BABY IN IT. |
| 344 | HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN. |
| 345 | OKAY, EVERYBODY, LET'S GIVE A WARM CENTRAL PERK WELCOME TO... |
| 346 | Phoebe: ♪ TERRY'S A JERK ♪ |
| 347 | ♪ AND HE WON'T LET ME WORK ♪ |
| 348 | ♪ AND I HATE CENTRAL PERK ♪ |
| 349 | ( clears throat ) |
| 350 | UH, TO STEPHANIE SCHIFFER. |
| 351 | THANK YOU. |
| 352 | THANK YOU. |
| 353 | I'D LIKE TO START WITH A SONG |
| 354 | THAT I WROTE FOR THE FIRST MAN I EVER LOVED. |
| 355 | ♪ ZACHARY ♪ |
| 356 | Phoebe: ♪ YOU'RE ALL INVITED TO BITE ME! ♪ |
| 357 | HI! HI! |
| 358 | WE'RE THE GUYS THAT CALLED ABOUT THE BABY! WE LOST THE BABY! |
| 359 | Both: IS HE HERE? |
| 360 | HE'S HERE. |
| 361 | ( both gasping ) |
| 362 | I'M ASSUMING ONE OF YOU IS THE FATHER. |
| 363 | THAT'S ME. I'M HIM. |
| 364 | ACTUALLY, UH... |
| 365 | WE'RE BOTH THE FATHER. |
| 366 | OH, BEN! HEY, BEN! |
| 367 | HEY, BUDDY. HEY, BABY. |
| 368 | HI... |
| 369 | ( gurgling ) |
| 370 | ( gurgling ) |
| 371 | PLEASE TELL ME YOU KNOW WHICH ONE IS OUR BABY. |
| 372 | WELL, WELL, THAT ONE HAS DUCKS ON HIS T-SHIRT |
| 373 | AND THIS ONE HAS CLOWNS |
| 374 | AND BEN WAS DEFINITELY WEARING DUCKS. |
| 375 | OKAY... |
| 376 | OR CLOWNS. |
| 377 | OH! OH, WAIT! |
| 378 | THAT ONE'S DEFINITELY BEN. |
| 379 | HE HAD THAT CUTE LITTLE MOLE BY HIS MOUTH. |
| 380 | YEAH? |
| 381 | YEAH. |
| 382 | HEY, BEN, REMEMBER US? |
| 383 | OKAY, THE MOLE CAME OFF. |
| 384 | AHH... |
| 385 | WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? |
| 386 | WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? |
| 387 | WE'LL FLIP FOR IT-- DUCKS OR CLOWNS. |
| 388 | WE'RE GOING TO FLIP FOR THE BABY?! |
| 389 | YOU GOT A BETTER IDEA? |
| 390 | CALL IT IN THE AIR. |
| 391 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 392 | HEADS. |
| 393 | HEADS IT IS. |
| 394 | YES! |
| 395 | PHEW! |
| 396 | WE HAVE TO ASSIGN HEADS TO SOMETHING! |
| 397 | OH! RIGHT! |
| 398 | OKAY. OKAY, UH... |
| 399 | DUCKS IS HEADS BECAUSE DUCKS HAVE HEADS. |
| 400 | WHAT KIND OF SCARY-ASS CLOWNS CAME TO YOUR BIRTHDAY? |
| 401 | ♪ JUST CALL ME ANGEL OF THE MORNING ♪ |
| 402 | ♪ ANGEL ♪ |
| 403 | ♪ JUST TOUCH MY CHEEK BEFORE YOU LEAVE ME ♪ |
| 404 | ♪ OH, BABY ♪ |
| 405 | ♪ JUST CALL ME ANGEL OF THE MORNING ♪ |
| 406 | ♪ ANGEL ♪ |
| 407 | ♪ THEN SLOWLY TURN AWAY ♪ |
| 408 | ♪ I WON'T BEG YOU TO STAY ♪ |
| 409 | ♪ WITH ME ♪ |
| 410 | HI. |
| 411 | OH, HI. |
| 412 | HERE. I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE COLD. |
| 413 | THANK YOU. |
| 414 | MM. MM. |
| 415 | WHOA, LOOK AT YOU. YOU DID PRETTY WELL. |
| 416 | $8.27. |
| 417 | BUT NOT REALLY, 'CAUSE I PUT IN THE FIRST TWO. |
| 418 | JUST TO, YOU KNOW, GET THE BALL ROLLING |
| 419 | AND TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER. |
| 420 | DO YOU? |
| 421 | NO. |
| 422 | YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE, LIKE, PLAYING-FOR-MONEY THING |
| 423 | IS SO NOT GOOD FOR ME. |
| 424 | YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW, WHEN I SANG "SU-SU-SUICIDE" |
| 425 | I GOT LIKE, I GOT $1.75. |
| 426 | BUT THEN "SMELLY CAT"? |
| 427 | I GOT 25 CENTS AND A CONDOM. |
| 428 | SO, YOU KNOW, NOW |
| 429 | I JUST FEEL REALLY BAD FOR "SMELLY CAT." |
| 430 | WELL, YOU KNOW, HONEY |
| 431 | I DON'T THINK EVERYBODY GETS "SMELLY CAT." |
| 432 | YOU KNOW, I MEAN, IF ALL YOU'VE EVER ACTUALLY HAD |
| 433 | ARE HEALTHY PETS, THEN WOOSH! |
| 434 | BUT IT'S NOT EVEN THAT, YOU KNOW? |
| 435 | I USED TO DO MY SONGS 'CAUSE IT MADE ME HAPPY. |
| 436 | NOW IT'S LIKE, IT'S JUST ALL ABOUT THE MONEY, YOU KNOW? |
| 437 | WELL, PEOPLE MISSED YOU IN THERE. |
| 438 | AND IN FACT, THERE WAS ACTUALLY A REQUEST FOR "SMELLY CAT." |
| 439 | REALLY?! FROM WHO? |
| 440 | WELL, ME. |
| 441 | AND I KNOW IT'S NOT, YOU KNOW |
| 442 | YOUR BIG MONEY SONG, BUT IT'S MY FAVORITE. |
| 443 | OH... |
| 444 | OH! |
| 445 | HI. DID I ACCIDENTALLY DROP A CONDOM IN YOUR CASE? |
| 446 | UH... |
| 447 | IT'S KIND OF AN EMERGENCY. |
| 448 | YEAH. HERE YOU GO. |
| 449 | HEY, THANKS A LOT. |
| 450 | HEY, CHRISTINE, I GOT IT! |
| 451 | I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR ME TODAY. |
| 452 | I'M SORRY I ALMOST BROKE YOUR HAND. |
| 453 | OH, THAT'S OKAY. |
| 454 | I'M SORRY I POISONED YOU. |
| 455 | HEY, REMEMBER THE TIME I JAMMED THAT PENCIL INTO YOUR HAND? |
| 456 | REMEMBER IT? |
| 457 | WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS-- A FRECKLE? |
| 458 | WHAT ABOUT THE TIME |
| 459 | I HIT YOU IN THE FACE WITH THE SYLVIANS' PUMPKIN? |
| 460 | REMEMBER WHEN I STUCK THAT BROOM |
| 461 | IN YOUR BIKE SPOKES AND YOU FLIPPED |
| 462 | AND HIT YOUR HEAD ON THE CURB? |
| 463 | NO. |
| 464 | BUT I REMEMBER PEOPLE TELLING ME ABOUT IT. |
| 465 | OH. |
| 466 | WELL, BEN HAS A LITTLE SISTER. |
| 467 | YEAH. |
| 468 | I HOPE SHE CAN KICK HIS ASS. |
| 469 | ( chuckles ) |
| 470 | I'M GOING TO GET A NEW BAND-AID. |
| 471 | HOW ABOUT THE TIME I CUT THE LEGS OFF YOUR MALIBU KEN? |
| 472 | THAT WAS YOU?! |
| 473 | UH... THEY WERE INFECTED. THEY WOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT. |
| 474 | AW, MY LITTLE NEPHEW. |
| 475 | COME HERE, LITTLE ONE. |
| 476 | AW, THERE'S MY LITTLE BABY. |
| 477 | HEY, MY LITTLE BOY. |
| 478 | OHH... |
| 479 | ( kissing ) |
| 480 | HEY! HE'S NOT CRYING. |
| 481 | ( gasping ) |
| 482 | HEY, HE'S NOT CRYING. |
| 483 | ( chuckles ) |
| 484 | ( crying ) |
| 485 | YES! |
| 486 | THERE'S STILL PIE! |
| 487 | ( chuckles ) |
| 488 | OH, I'M HERE. |
| 489 | I'M HERE. |
| 490 | HOW'S MY LITTLE BOY, HUH? HUH? |
| 491 | YOU WANT DADDY TO CHANGE YOUR DIAPER? |
| 492 | HMM? I KNOW. I KNOW. |
| 493 | SO, DID YOU HAVE FUN |
| 494 | WITH UNCLE JOEY AND UNCLE CHANDLER TODAY? |
| 495 | OH, YEAH. |
| 496 | HE RODE THE BUS TODAY. |
| 497 | OH... WELL... |
| 498 | BIG BOY, RIDING THE BU... |
| 499 | HEY, I HAVE A QUESTION. |
| 500 | HOW COME IT SAYS "PROPERTY OF HUMAN SERVICES" ON HIS BUTT? |
| 501 | ( chuckles ) |
| 502 | YOU... |
| 503 | ( chuckles ) |
| 504 | YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS! |
| 505 | CAN YOU HOLD BEN FOR A SEC? |
| 506 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 507 | COME HERE. COME HERE. |
| 508 | STAY BACK! I'VE GOT KIWI! |
| 509 | RUN, JOEY, RUN! |
| 510 | ♪ SMELLY CAT, SMELLY CAT ♪ |
| 511 | ♪ WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING YOU? ♪ |
| 512 | NO, NO, NO. I'M SORRY, IT'S |
| 513 | ♪ SMELLY CAT, SMELLY CAT ♪ |
| 514 | ♪ SMELLY CAT, SMELLY CAT ♪ |
| 515 | BETTER. MUCH BETTER. GOOD. |
| 516 | AND YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 517 | DON'T FEEL BAD, 'CAUSE IT'S A HARD SONG. |
| 518 | YEAH. |
| 519 | DO YOU WANT TO TRY IT AGAIN? |
| 520 | YEAH. FROM THE TOP? |
| 521 | THERE IS NO TOP. |
| 522 | ALL RIGHT? |
| 523 | THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF "SMELLY CAT." |
| 524 | OH. |
| 525 | UM... |
| 526 | WHY DON'T YOU JUST FOLLOW ME? |
| 527 | OKAY. |
| 528 | ♪ SMELLY CAT, SMELLY CAT ♪ |
| 529 | ♪ WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING YOU? ♪ |
| 530 | ♪ SMELLY CAT, SMELLY CAT ♪ |
| 531 | ♪ IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT ♪ |
| 532 | ( guitar flourish ) |
| 533 | THAT'S TOO MUCH. SORRY. |
| 534 | [Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation] |
| 535 | |
| 1 | WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME? |
| 2 | DO I NOT LOOK FUN ENOUGH? |
| 3 | IS THERE SOMETHING... REPELLENT ABOUT ME? |
| 4 | SO, HOW WAS THE PARTY? |
| 5 | IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN WORSE. |
| 6 | A WOMAN LITERALLY PASSED THROUGH ME. |
| 7 | SO, WHAT IS IT? |
| 8 | AM I HIDEOUSLY UNATTRACTIVE? |
| 9 | NO, YOU ARE NOT. |
| 10 | YOU ARE VERY ATTRACTIVE. |
| 11 | I GO THROUGH THE SAME THING. |
| 12 | EVERY TIME I PUT ON A LITTLE WEIGHT |
| 13 | I START QUESTIONING EVERYTHING. |
| 14 | WHOA, WHOA. |
| 15 | I'VE... I'VE PUT ON A LITTLE WEIGHT? |
| 16 | DID YOU WANT TO... |
| 17 | YEAH. |
| 18 | NO, NOT "WEIGHT." |
| 19 | YOU KNOW, MORE LIKE "INSULATION." |
| 20 | I'M UNEMPLOYED AND IN DIRE NEED OF A PROJECT. |
| 21 | YOU WANT TO WORK OUT? |
| 22 | I CAN REMAKE YOU. |
| 23 | I WOULD, BUT THAT MIGHT GET IN THE WAY |
| 24 | OF MY LYING AROUND TIME. |
| 25 | PLEASE. |
| 26 | COME ON. LET HER DO IT. |
| 27 | OKAY, BUT IF WE PUT ON SPANDEX |
| 28 | AND MY BOOBS ARE BIGGER THAN YOURS |
| 29 | I'M GOING HOME. |
| 30 | YOUR BOOBS ARE FINE. |
| 31 | I NEVER SHOULD HAVE SAID ANYTHING. |
| 32 | COME HERE. COME HERE. |
| 33 | OH... CAN'T... MAKE... HANDS... MEET. |
| 34 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 35 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 36 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 37 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY, YOUR WEEK ♪ |
| 39 | ♪ YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 40 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 41 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 42 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 43 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 44 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 45 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 46 | OKAY, LET'S DO IT. |
| 47 | WHAT? |
| 48 | NOTHING. JUST NEVER SEEN YOU IN LITTLE STRETCHY PANTS BEFORE. |
| 49 | AND WE'RE CHANGING. |
| 50 | GO! GO! GO! GO! |
| 51 | ( groans ) |
| 52 | COME ON, GIVE ME FIVE MORE. |
| 53 | FIVE MORE! |
| 54 | NO! |
| 55 | FIVE MORE AND I'LL FLASH YOU. |
| 56 | ONE! |
| 57 | TWO! |
| 58 | TWO AND A HALF! |
| 59 | OKAY, JUST SHOW ME ONE OF THEM. |
| 60 | OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! |
| 61 | OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! |
| 62 | OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! |
| 63 | SHE'S INSANE. |
| 64 | THE WOMAN IS INSANE. |
| 65 | IT'S BEFORE WORK. IT'S AFTER WORK. |
| 66 | IT'S DURING WORK. |
| 67 | SHE'S GOT ME DOING BUTT CLENCHES AT MY DESK. |
| 68 | THEY WON'T BRING ME MY MAIL ANYMORE. |
| 69 | PHEEBS, HOW DID IT GO |
| 70 | WITH SCOTT LAST NIGHT? |
| 71 | IT WAS NICE. |
| 72 | TOOK HIM TO A ROMANTIC RESTAURANT. |
| 73 | ORDERED CHAMPAGNE. NICE. |
| 74 | THE GUY STILL WON'T PUT OUT? |
| 75 | NOPE, ZILCH, NOTHIN', HUH-UH. |
| 76 | SORRY, PHEEBS. SORRY, PHEEBS. |
| 77 | LOOK, I DON'T MIND TAKING IT SLOW. |
| 78 | I LIKE HIM A LOT. |
| 79 | HE'S REALLY INTERESTING AND HE'S REALLY SWEET. |
| 80 | WHY WON'T HE GIVE IT UP? |
| 81 | MAYBE HE DRIVES HIS CAR |
| 82 | ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD |
| 83 | IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. |
| 84 | NO, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? |
| 85 | HE'S NOT BRITISH. |
| 86 | MAYBE HE'S GAY. |
| 87 | OH. |
| 88 | NO, I DON'T THINK THAT'S THE PROBLEM. |
| 89 | 'CAUSE WE WENT DANCING THE OTHER NIGHT |
| 90 | AND JUST THE WAY HE HELD ME SO CLOSE |
| 91 | AND THE WAY HE WAS LOOKING INTO MY EYES |
| 92 | I JUST... I DEFINITELY FELT SOMETHING. |
| 93 | BUT HOW MUCH CAN YOU TELL FROM A LOOK? |
| 94 | NO, I FELT IT ON MY HIP. |
| 95 | YO, BING! |
| 96 | RACQUETBALL IN 20 MINUTES. |
| 97 | JOEY, BE A PAL. |
| 98 | LIFT UP MY HAND AND SMACK HER WITH IT. |
| 99 | OH, RACHEL, DON'T LOOK. |
| 100 | WHAT? |
| 101 | COME ON, YOU GUYS, I DON'T CARE. |
| 102 | I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT. |
| 103 | WHOA! YOU HAVE A DATE? |
| 104 | YEAH. MONICA SET ME UP. |
| 105 | WHAT ABOUT ROSS AND... |
| 106 | WHAT, MY WHOLE INSANE JEALOUSY THING? |
| 107 | WELL, YOU KNOW, AS MUCH FUN AS THAT WAS |
| 108 | I'VE DECIDED TO OPT FOR SANITY. |
| 109 | YOU'RE REALLY OKAY ABOUT ALL THIS? |
| 110 | OH, YEAH. COME ON. I'M MOVING ON. |
| 111 | HE CAN PRESS HER UP AGAINST THAT WINDOW |
| 112 | AS MUCH AS HE WANTS. |
| 113 | FOR ALL I CARE |
| 114 | HE CAN THROW HER THROUGH THE DAMN THING. |
| 115 | HI, GUYS. |
| 116 | MONICA, I FIGURED I'D COME BY TOMORROW MORNING |
| 117 | AND PICK UP FLUFFY'S OLD CAT TOYS, OKAY? |
| 118 | ONLY IF YOU SAY HIS FULL NAME. |
| 119 | CAN I COME OVER TOMORROW |
| 120 | AND PICK UP FLUFFY MEOWINGTON'S CAT TOYS? |
| 121 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 122 | YOU'RE GETTING A CAT? |
| 123 | ACTUALLY, WE'RE GETTING A CAT. |
| 124 | TOGETHER? |
| 125 | UH-HUH. |
| 126 | BOTH OF YOU? |
| 127 | TOGETHER? |
| 128 | IT'LL LIVE HALF THE TIME WITH EACH OF US. |
| 129 | OH, WELL, ISN'T THAT JUST LOVELY? |
| 130 | THAT'S SOMETHING |
| 131 | THE TWO OF YOU WILL BE ABLE TO ENJOY |
| 132 | FOR A REALLY, REALLY |
| 133 | REALLY, REALLY, REALLY LONG TIME. |
| 134 | HOPEFULLY. |
| 135 | WHOA! LOOK AT THAT! |
| 136 | I GOT A DATE. |
| 137 | WITH A MAN. |
| 138 | OKAY. |
| 139 | YOU GUYS HAVE A REALLY GOOD NIGHT. |
| 140 | AND YOU TWO HAVE A... UH... |
| 141 | HAVE A REALLY GOOD CAT. |
| 142 | WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE THESE WHEN WE LEAVE. |
| 143 | I DON'T KNOW IF MONICA TOLD YOU |
| 144 | BUT THIS IS THE FIRST DATE I'VE GONE ON |
| 145 | SINCE MY DIVORCE. |
| 146 | SO, IF I SEEM A LITTLE NERVOUS. |
| 147 | I AM. |
| 148 | HOW LONG DO CATS LIVE? |
| 149 | I'M SORRY? |
| 150 | CATS. HOW LONG DO THEY LIVE? |
| 151 | FIGURING YOU DON'T THROW THEM UNDER A BUS OR SOMETHING. |
| 152 | UM... MAYBE 15, 16 YEARS. |
| 153 | WELL, THAT'S JUST GREAT. |
| 154 | CHEERS! |
| 155 | RIGHT. |
| 156 | CLINK. |
| 157 | MONICA TOLD YOU I WAS CUTER THAN THIS, DIDN'T SHE? |
| 158 | OH, NO, MICHAEL. |
| 159 | IT'S NOT YOU. |
| 160 | I'M SORRY. |
| 161 | IT'S THIS THING. |
| 162 | IT'S PROBABLY NOT AS BAD AS IT SOUNDS |
| 163 | BUT THIS FRIEND OF MINE IS GETTING A CAT |
| 164 | WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND. |
| 165 | OH. THAT DOES SOUND... |
| 166 | HUH. |
| 167 | I MEAN, HE JUST STARTED GOING OUT WITH HER. |
| 168 | IS THIS GUY AN OLD BOYFRIEND? |
| 169 | HA! HA! HA! HA! |
| 170 | YEAH, HE WISHES. |
| 171 | OH, I'M SORRY. |
| 172 | LOOK AT ME. |
| 173 | OKAY, MICHAEL, LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU. |
| 174 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 175 | OKAY. |
| 176 | SO... |
| 177 | YOU EVER GET A PET WITH A GIRLFRIEND? |
| 178 | SO, I FIGURED IT OUT. |
| 179 | WHAT? |
| 180 | WHY SCOTT DOESN'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH ME. |
| 181 | IT'S 'CAUSE I'M NOT SEXY ENOUGH. |
| 182 | OH, PHOEBE, THAT'S CRAZY. |
| 183 | WHEN I FIRST MET YOU |
| 184 | YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID TO CHANDLER? |
| 185 | I SAID, "EXCELLENT BUTT, GREAT RACK." |
| 186 | REALLY? |
| 187 | THAT'S SO SWEET. |
| 188 | I MEAN, I'M OFFICIALLY OFFENDED |
| 189 | BUT IT'S SO SWEET. |
| 190 | PHEEBS, LOOK. |
| 191 | IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE DEAL IS |
| 192 | YOU'LL HAVE TO ASK HIM. |
| 193 | YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 194 | YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 195 | YOU ARE SO "YUM." |
| 196 | I MEAN, IT'S A CAT. |
| 197 | YOU KNOW? |
| 198 | IT'S A CAT. |
| 199 | WHY CAN'T THEY GET ONE OF THOSE BUGS? |
| 200 | ONE OF THOSE FRUIT FLIES. |
| 201 | THOSE THINGS THAT LIVE FOR A DAY. |
| 202 | WHAT ARE THEY CALLED? |
| 203 | FRUIT FLIES? |
| 204 | YES! |
| 205 | THANK YOU. |
| 206 | WOULD YOU LIKE ANY DESSERT? |
| 207 | NO! |
| 208 | NO DESSERT. |
| 209 | JUST THE CHECK... PLEASE. |
| 210 | OH, NO. |
| 211 | YOU'RE NOT HAVING FUN, ARE YOU? |
| 212 | NO, NO, I AM. |
| 213 | BUT ONLY BECAUSE, FOR THE LAST HOUR AND A HALF |
| 214 | I'VE BEEN PLAYING THE MOVIE DINER IN MY HEAD. |
| 215 | OH, LOOK AT ME. |
| 216 | LOOK AT ME. |
| 217 | I'M ON A DATE WITH A REALLY GREAT GUY |
| 218 | AND ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS ROSS |
| 219 | AND HIS CAT |
| 220 | AND HIS JULIE. |
| 221 | I JUST WANT TO GET OVER HIM. |
| 222 | GOD, WHY CAN'T I DO THAT? |
| 223 | OY! |
| 224 | I'VE BEEN THROUGH A DIVORCE. |
| 225 | TRUST ME, YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE. |
| 226 | YOU JUST CAN'T SEE IT NOW |
| 227 | BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANY CLOSURE. |
| 228 | OH! |
| 229 | CLOSURE. |
| 230 | THAT'S WHAT IT IS. |
| 231 | THAT'S WHAT I NEED. |
| 232 | GOD, YOU'RE BRILLIANT! |
| 233 | WHY DIDN'T I... HOW DO I GET THAT? |
| 234 | WELL, THERE'S NO ONE WAY, REALLY. |
| 235 | IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW |
| 236 | WHATEVER IT TAKES SO YOU CAN FINALLY SAY TO HIM |
| 237 | "I'M OVER YOU." |
| 238 | "I'M OVER YOU." |
| 239 | THAT'S WHAT IT IS. |
| 240 | CLOSURE. |
| 241 | OH. HELLO. |
| 242 | EXCUSE ME. |
| 243 | EXCUSE ME. |
| 244 | WHOA! |
| 245 | HANG ON. |
| 246 | WHAT? |
| 247 | I NEED TO BORROW YOUR PHONE |
| 248 | FOR JUST ONE MINUTE. |
| 249 | I'M TALKING. |
| 250 | I CAN SEE THAT. |
| 251 | JUST ONE PHONE CALL. |
| 252 | I'LL BE VERY QUICK. |
| 253 | I'LL EVEN PAY FOR IT MYSELF. |
| 254 | YOU'RE BEING A LITTLE WEIRD ABOUT YOUR PHONE. |
| 255 | Man: ALL RIGHT. FINE. |
| 256 | I'LL CALL YOU BACK. |
| 257 | THANK YOU. |
| 258 | OKAY. |
| 259 | MACHINE. |
| 260 | JUST WAITING FOR THE BEEP. |
| 261 | GOOD. |
| 262 | ROSS, HI. |
| 263 | IT'S RACHEL. |
| 264 | I'M JUST CALLING TO SAY THAT... UM... |
| 265 | EVERYTHING'S FINE. |
| 266 | AND I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU |
| 267 | AND YOUR CAT. |
| 268 | WHO, BY THE WAY |
| 269 | I THINK YOU SHOULD NAME MICHAEL. |
| 270 | AND, YOU KNOW, YOU SEE THERE |
| 271 | I'M THINKING OF NAMES |
| 272 | SO, OBVIOUSLY, I AM OVER YOU. |
| 273 | I... AM OVER... |
| 274 | YOU. |
| 275 | AND THAT, MY FRIEND |
| 276 | IS WHAT THEY CALL "CLOSURE." |
| 277 | NO, NO, NO, NO, NO |
| 278 | NO, NO! |
| 279 | MONICA, IT'S SUNDAY MORNING. |
| 280 | I'M NOT RUNNING ON A SUNDAY. |
| 281 | WHY NOT? |
| 282 | BECAUSE IT'S SUNDAY! |
| 283 | IT'S GOD'S DAY. |
| 284 | HEY, YOU SAY STOP AND WE STOP. |
| 285 | ( chuckles ): OKAY! |
| 286 | STOP. |
| 287 | NO! COME ON! WE CAN'T STOP! |
| 288 | COME ON! WE GOT THREE MORE POUNDS TO GO! |
| 289 | I AM THE ENERGY TRAIN AND YOU ARE ON BOARD. |
| 290 | ( imitating train ): WOO-WOO! |
| 291 | WOO-WOO! |
| 292 | WOO-WOO! |
| 293 | WOO. |
| 294 | ( knocking on door ) |
| 295 | HEY, RACH. |
| 296 | ( moans softly ) |
| 297 | OH. AND HOW WAS THE DATE? |
| 298 | UM, I THINK THERE WAS A RESTAURANT. |
| 299 | I KNOW THERE WAS WINE. |
| 300 | WOW, WELL, UH... |
| 301 | ACTUALLY, JULIE'S DOWNSTAIRS GETTING A CAB |
| 302 | I JUST NEED |
| 303 | THE CAT TOYS. |
| 304 | DID MONICA SAY.... |
| 305 | WHAT, WHY... WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT? |
| 306 | I'M SO... I DON'T KNOW. |
| 307 | I... I FEEL LIKE I HAD A DREAM ABOUT YOU LAST NIGHT. |
| 308 | BUT... I DON'T REMEMBER. |
| 309 | OKAY. |
| 310 | OH, OH, OH. |
| 311 | ( clears throat ) |
| 312 | DID WE SPEAK ON THE PHONE LAST NIGHT? |
| 313 | DID YOU CALL ME? |
| 314 | NO. I STAYED AT JULIE'S LAST NIGHT. |
| 315 | HUH. |
| 316 | ACTUALLY, I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN HOME YET. |
| 317 | DO YOU MIND IF I CHECK MY MESSAGES? |
| 318 | OH, YEAH. GO AHEAD. |
| 319 | RACH, I GOT A MESSAGE FROM YOU. |
| 320 | WHO'S MICHAEL? |
| 321 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 322 | OH, MY GOD, ROSS, NO. |
| 323 | HANG UP THE PHONE! |
| 324 | GIVE ME THE PHONE, ROSS! |
| 325 | GIVE ME THE PHONE! |
| 326 | GIVE ME THE PHONE! |
| 327 | GIVE ME THE..! |
| 328 | YOU'RE OVER ME? |
| 329 | OH, GOD! |
| 330 | WHA? YOU'RE UH... |
| 331 | YOU'RE... YOU'RE OVER ME? |
| 332 | ( moaning ) |
| 333 | ( softly ): OH, MY GOD. |
| 334 | OH! |
| 335 | WHEN... WHEN WERE YOU... |
| 336 | UNDER ME? |
| 337 | ( moaning ): OH, GOD... |
| 338 | RACH? |
| 339 | RACHEL, DO YOU... |
| 340 | I MEAN, WERE YOU, UH... |
| 341 | WHAT? |
| 342 | OKAY, OKAY. |
| 343 | WELL... |
| 344 | BASICALLY, LATELY I'VE, UH... |
| 345 | ( clears throat ) |
| 346 | I'VE, UH, SORT OF HAD FEELINGS FOR YOU. |
| 347 | ( sighs ) |
| 348 | YOU'VE... HAD FEELINGS FOR ME. |
| 349 | YEAH? SO? YOU HAD FEELINGS FOR ME FIRST. |
| 350 | WHOA! |
| 351 | YOU KNOW ABOUT MY... |
| 352 | I MEAN, YOU KNOW I HAD... |
| 353 | YOU KNOW? YOU... |
| 354 | CHANDLER TOLD ME. |
| 355 | CHANDLER. WHEN DID HE, WHEN DID HE, WHEN DID HE? |
| 356 | WHEN YOU WERE IN CHINA. |
| 357 | CHINA. |
| 358 | MEETING JULIE. |
| 359 | JULIE. JULIE. |
| 360 | THAT'S... OH, GOD. |
| 361 | JULIE, JULIE. |
| 362 | RIGHT. OKAY, I NEED TO LIE DOWN. |
| 363 | NO, YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO STAND. |
| 364 | I'M GOING TO STAND |
| 365 | AND I'M GOING TO WALK. |
| 366 | I'M WALKING AND... I AM STANDING. |
| 367 | OKAY, SO YOU, UH... |
| 368 | AND NOW, WHAT... AND NOW, NOW |
| 369 | NOW YOU'RE OVER ME? |
| 370 | ARE YOU OVER ME? |
| 371 | ( buzzer buzzes ) |
| 372 | THAT'S... THAT'S JULIE. |
| 373 | THAT'S JU... JULIE. |
| 374 | JULIE! |
| 375 | HI, JULIE! |
| 376 | Hi, honey. I've got a cab waiting. |
| 377 | I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN. |
| 378 | WAIT, SO, YOU'RE GOING? |
| 379 | WELL, OKAY. I HAVE TO. |
| 380 | I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS RIGHT NOW. |
| 381 | I MEAN, I'VE UH... YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT A CAB. |
| 382 | I'VE GOT A GIRLFRIEND. |
| 383 | I'M GOING TO GO GET A CAT. |
| 384 | OKAY, OKAY. |
| 385 | CAT. |
| 386 | ( singing in Hebrew ) |
| 387 | ( playing solo ) |
| 388 | WHY ARE YOU WATCHING A RABBI PLAYING ELECTRIC GUITAR? |
| 389 | I CAN'T FIND THE REMOTE. |
| 390 | OH. THANK YOU. |
| 391 | SO SCOTT ASKED ME |
| 392 | TO COME OVER FOR LUNCH TODAY AND I DID. |
| 393 | AND..? |
| 394 | AND WE DID. |
| 395 | ALL RIGHT, PHEEBS! |
| 396 | WAY TO GO! |
| 397 | YAY ME. |
| 398 | SO... SO HOW DID IT HAPPEN? |
| 399 | I FINALLY TOOK YOUR ADVICE |
| 400 | AND ASKED HIM WHAT WAS GOING ON |
| 401 | AND WHAT DID HE SAY? |
| 402 | HE SAID THAT HE UNDERSTANDS |
| 403 | HOW SEX CAN BE A VERY EMOTIONAL THING FOR A WOMAN |
| 404 | AND HE WAS JUST AFRAID THAT I WAS GOING TO GET |
| 405 | ALL "IS-HE-GOING-TO-CALL-ME THE-NEXT-DAY?" |
| 406 | AND, YOU KNOW, "WHERE-IS-THIS-GOING?" |
| 407 | AND BLAH-BLAH-BLAH, SO HE SAID |
| 408 | HE WANTED TO HOLD OFF |
| 409 | UNTIL HE WAS PREPARED TO BE REALLY SERIOUS. |
| 410 | WOW. |
| 411 | YEAH. SO I SAID, "OKAY, RELAX, PLEASE." |
| 412 | YOU KNOW? |
| 413 | I MEAN |
| 414 | SEX CAN BE JUST ABOUT TWO PEOPLE RIGHT THERE |
| 415 | IN THE MOMENT, YOU KNOW. |
| 416 | IF HE WANTS TO SEE ME AGAIN, HE CAN CALL |
| 417 | AND IF NOT, THAT'S FINE TOO. |
| 418 | SO AFTER A LOT OF TALKING... |
| 419 | I CONVINCED HIM. |
| 420 | LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT: |
| 421 | HE GOT YOU TO BEG TO SLEEP WITH HIM. |
| 422 | HE GOT YOU TO SAY HE NEVER HAS TO CALL YOU AGAIN |
| 423 | AND |
| 424 | HE GOT YOU THINKING THIS IS A GREAT IDEA? |
| 425 | UH-HUH. |
| 426 | THIS MAN IS MY GOD. |
| 427 | GOOD NIGHT, GUNTHER. |
| 428 | HI. |
| 429 | I DIDN'T GET A CAT. |
| 430 | OH, THAT'S, UM... |
| 431 | INTERESTING. |
| 432 | NO. NO, IT'S NOT INTERESTING, OKAY? |
| 433 | IT'S VERY, VERY NOT INTERESTING. |
| 434 | IT'S ACTUALLY 100% COMPLETELY |
| 435 | THE OPPOSITE OF INTERESTING. |
| 436 | I GOT IT, ROSS. |
| 437 | YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO TELL ME YOU HAD FEELINGS FOR ME. |
| 438 | WHAT?! |
| 439 | I WAS DOING GREAT WITH JULIE |
| 440 | BEFORE I FOUND OUT. |
| 441 | HEY, I WAS DOING GREAT BEFORE I FOUND OUT. |
| 442 | YOU THINK IT'S EASY FOR ME TO SEE YOU WITH JULIE? |
| 443 | YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING BEFORE I MET HER! |
| 444 | I DIDN'T KNOW THEN! |
| 445 | HOW COME YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ME? |
| 446 | THERE WAS NEVER A GOOD TIME. |
| 447 | RIGHT! YOU ONLY HAD A YEAR. |
| 448 | WE ONLY HUNG OUT EVERY NIGHT. |
| 449 | NOT... NOT... |
| 450 | NOT... EVERY NIGHT. |
| 451 | YOU KNOW |
| 452 | AND IT'S NOT |
| 453 | LIKE I DIDN'T TRY, RACHEL |
| 454 | BUT THINGS GOT IN THE WAY |
| 455 | YOU KNOW, LIKE ITALIAN GUYS OR EX-FIANCEES |
| 456 | OR, OR, OR... ITALIAN GUYS. |
| 457 | HEY-- THERE WAS ONE ITALIAN GUY, OKAY? |
| 458 | AND DO YOU EVEN HAVE A POINT? |
| 459 | THE POINT IS I... I DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW, OKAY? |
| 460 | IT'S TOO LATE. |
| 461 | I'M WITH SOMEBODY ELSE. I'M HAPPY. |
| 462 | THIS SHIP HAS SAILED. |
| 463 | YOU'RE GOING TO JUST PUT AWAY FEELINGS |
| 464 | OR WHATEVER YOU FELT? |
| 465 | HEY, I'VE BEEN DOING IT SINCE THE NINTH GRADE. |
| 466 | FINE. YOU DO THAT |
| 467 | ALL RIGHT, ROSS? |
| 468 | I DON'T NEED YOUR STUPID SHIP! |
| 469 | GOOD. |
| 470 | GOOD. |
| 471 | AND YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 472 | NOW I GOT CLOSURE! |
| 473 | OH! |
| 474 | ( sobbing softly ) |
| 475 | TRY THE BOTTOM ONE. |
| 476 | MONICA, IT'S 6:30 IN THE MORNING. |
| 477 | WE'RE NOT WORKING OUT. |
| 478 | IT'S OVER. |
| 479 | NO WAY! WITH ONE POUND TO GO? COME ON! |
| 480 | ♪ WE'RE WORKING ♪ |
| 481 | ♪ WE'RE MOVING ♪ |
| 482 | ♪ WE'RE IN THE ZONE, WE'RE GROOVING. ♪ |
| 483 | OKAY, I DON'T MIND THE LAST POUND, OKAY? |
| 484 | IN FACT, I KIND OF LIKE THE LAST POUND. |
| 485 | OKAY? |
| 486 | SO DON'T MAKE ME DO ANYTHING |
| 487 | THAT I'LL REGRET. |
| 488 | OH! WHAT YOU GOING TO DO, FAT BOY? |
| 489 | HUH? |
| 490 | WHAT? |
| 491 | NOTHING. EXCEPT TELL YOU I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL |
| 492 | HOW MUCH ENERGY YOU HAVE. |
| 493 | WELL! THANKS. |
| 494 | I MEAN |
| 495 | ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING |
| 496 | HOW TOUGH IT'S BEEN FOR YOU TO FIND WORK. |
| 497 | WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU... |
| 498 | YOU KNOW, I MEAN |
| 499 | YOU CAN'T TELL YOUR PARENTS YOU WERE FIRED |
| 500 | BECAUSE THEY'D BE DISAPPOINTED. |
| 501 | UH-HUH. |
| 502 | AND IT'S NOT AS IF YOU HAVE |
| 503 | A BOYFRIEND'S SHOULDER TO CRY ON. |
| 504 | WELL, NO, BUT, UH... |
| 505 | I MEAN, IF IT WERE ME |
| 506 | I THINK I'D HAVE DIFFICULTY |
| 507 | JUST GETTING OUT OF BED AT ALL. |
| 508 | YOU KNOW, I TRY TO STAY POSITIVE. |
| 509 | SO, YOU... |
| 510 | YOU FEEL LIKE GOING FOR A RUN? |
| 511 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 512 | BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO. |
| 513 | IF YOU WANT, YOU COULD JUST TAKE A NAP RIGHT HERE. |
| 514 | OKAY. |
| 515 | JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE. |
| 516 | OKAY. |
| 517 | |
| 1 | ROSS KISSED ME. |
| 2 | NO! |
| 3 | OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD! |
| 4 | IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE. |
| 5 | OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD! |
| 6 | OKAY, ALL RIGHT. WE WANT TO HEAR EVERYTHING. |
| 7 | MONICA, GET THE WINE AND UNPLUG THE PHONE. |
| 8 | RACHEL, DOES THIS END WELL |
| 9 | OR DO WE NEED TO GET TISSUES? |
| 10 | OH, IT ENDED VERY WELL. |
| 11 | OH... |
| 12 | DO NOT START WITHOUT ME. |
| 13 | DO NOT START WITHOUT ME! |
| 14 | OKAY, ALL RIGHT. |
| 15 | LET'S HEAR ABOUT THE KISS. |
| 16 | WAS IT LIKE A SOFT BRUSH AGAINST YOUR LIPS |
| 17 | OR WAS IT LIKE A... |
| 18 | "I GOT TO HAVE YOU NOW" THING? |
| 19 | WELL, AT FIRST, IT WAS REALLY INTENSE, YOU KNOW |
| 20 | AND THEN... OH, GOD. |
| 21 | AND THEN WE JUST SORT OF SUNK INTO IT. |
| 22 | SO, WAS HE HOLDING YOU |
| 23 | OR WAS HIS HANDS, LIKE, ON YOUR BACK? |
| 24 | NO, ACTUALLY, FIRST THEY STARTED ON MY WAIST |
| 25 | AND THEN, THEY SLID UP, AND THEN, THEY WERE IN MY HAIR. |
| 26 | OH. |
| 27 | AND, UH... AND THEN I KISSED HER. |
| 28 | TONGUE? YEAH. |
| 29 | COOL. |
| 30 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 31 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 32 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 33 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 34 | ♪ WHEN IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 35 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 36 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 37 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO POUR ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 39 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 40 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 41 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 42 | ALL RIGHT, CHECK OUT THIS BAD BOY. |
| 43 | 12 MEGABYTES OF RAM. |
| 44 | 500 MEGABYTE HARD DRIVE. |
| 45 | BUILT-IN SPREADSHEET CAPABILITIES |
| 46 | AND A MODEM THAT TRANSMITS AT OVER 28,000 B.P.S. |
| 47 | WOW. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO USE IT FOR? |
| 48 | GAMES AND STUFF. |
| 49 | THERE ARE NO JOBS. |
| 50 | THERE ARE NO JOBS FOR ME. |
| 51 | WAIT, HERE'S ONE. |
| 52 | UH... WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO COOK NAKED? |
| 53 | THERE'S AN AD FOR A NAKED CHEF? |
| 54 | NO, BUT IF YOU'RE WILLING TO COOK NAKED |
| 55 | THEN YOU MIGHT BE WILLING TO DANCE NAKED |
| 56 | AND THEN... |
| 57 | HI. HEY. OH, SO, UH... |
| 58 | HOW'D YOU MAKE OUT LAST NIGHT? |
| 59 | THAT-THAT IS FUNNY. |
| 60 | THAT IS PAINFULLY FUNNY. |
| 61 | NO, WAIT. WAIT. |
| 62 | YEAH, THAT'S JUST PAINFUL. |
| 63 | WAIT A MINUTE. I THOUGHT LAST NIGHT WAS GREAT. |
| 64 | YEAH, IT WAS, BUT... |
| 65 | I GET HOME, OKAY? |
| 66 | AND I SEE JULIE'S |
| 67 | SALINE SOLUTION ON MY NIGHT TABLE |
| 68 | AND I'M THINKING TO MYSELF "OH, MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?" |
| 69 | HERE I AM, I'M WITH JULIE, THIS INCREDIBLE, GREAT WOMAN |
| 70 | WHO I CARE ABOUT AND WHO CARES ABOUT ME |
| 71 | AND I'M, LIKE, WHAT, AM I JUST GOING TO THROW ALL THAT AWAY? |
| 72 | YOU GOT ALL THAT FROM SALINE SOLUTION? |
| 73 | WAIT A MINUTE. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT RACHEL, YOU AND RACHEL. |
| 74 | BELIEVE ME, I'VE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT ME AND RACHEL |
| 75 | FOR, LIKE, TEN YEARS NOW, BUT NOW, I'M WITH JULIE |
| 76 | SO IT'S LIKE, ME AND JULIE, ME AND RACHEL, ME AND JULIE. |
| 77 | ME AND RACH... |
| 78 | RACHEL, RACHEL. HEY, YOU. |
| 79 | HOW ARE YOU? |
| 80 | GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? |
| 81 | GOOD. GOOD. |
| 82 | HI, HONEY. HI, JULIE. HI... JULIE. JULIE. |
| 83 | UM... HOW ARE YOU? |
| 84 | GOOD. GOOD. |
| 85 | SO EVERYBODY'S HERE. |
| 86 | EVERYBODY'S GOOD. |
| 87 | SO, WERE YOU GOING TO PLAY SOMETHING, PHOEBE? |
| 88 | OH. WELL, ACTUALLY... |
| 89 | PLAY IT. |
| 90 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 91 | HEY JULIE, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WORE LENSES. |
| 92 | WHAT? SHH. |
| 93 | Phoebe: OKAY, UM... HI. |
| 94 | HELLO. HI. OKAY. |
| 95 | SO, UM... |
| 96 | THIS IS A SONG, UM... ABOUT A LOVE TRIANGLE |
| 97 | BETWEEN THREE PEOPLE THAT I MADE UP. |
| 98 | UM... IT'S CALLED "TWO OF THEM KISSED LAST NIGHT." |
| 99 | ♪ THERE WAS A GIRL ♪ |
| 100 | ♪ WE'LL CALL HER BETTY ♪ |
| 101 | ♪ AND A GUY, LET'S CALL HIM NEAL ♪ |
| 102 | ♪ NOW... ♪ |
| 103 | ♪ I CAN'T STRESS THIS POINT TOO STRONGLY ♪ |
| 104 | ♪ THIS STORY ISN'T REAL... ♪ |
| 105 | ♪ AND NOW OUR NEAL MUST DECIDE ♪ |
| 106 | ♪ WHO WILL BE THE GIRL THAT HE CASTS ASIDE ♪ |
| 107 | ♪ WILL BETTY BE THE ONE WHO HE LOVES TRULY ♪ |
| 108 | ♪ OR WILL IT BE THE ONE WHO WE'LL CALL... LOOLIE? ♪ |
| 109 | ♪ HE MUST DECIDE ♪ |
| 110 | ♪ HE MUST DECIDE ♪ |
| 111 | ♪ EVEN THOUGH I MADE HIM UP ♪ |
| 112 | ♪ HE MUST DECIDE... ♪ |
| 113 | WELL, THIS IS A NICE RESUME. |
| 114 | NICE, NICE, NICE. |
| 115 | MUY IMPRESSIVO. |
| 116 | SO, MR. RASTATTER, WHAT EXACTLY DOES THIS JOB ENTAIL? |
| 117 | THE AD WASN'T TOO CLEAR. |
| 118 | MOCKOLATE. |
| 119 | I'M SORRY? MOCKOLATE. |
| 120 | IT'S A COMPLETELY SYNTHETIC CHOCOLATE SUBSTITUTE. |
| 121 | OOH. YEAH? |
| 122 | WELL, GO AHEAD. TRY A PIECE. |
| 123 | YEAH, WE THINK MOCKOLATE IS EVEN BETTER THAN CHOCOLATE. |
| 124 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 125 | MMM-MMM. |
| 126 | YEAH? |
| 127 | I LOVE HOW IT CRUMBLES. |
| 128 | NOW SEE, CHOCOLATE DOESN'T DO THAT. NO, MA'AM. |
| 129 | WELL, ANYHOO, WE SHOULD BE GETTING OUR F.D.A. APPROVAL ANY DAY NOW. |
| 130 | HOPEFULLY, IN TIME FOR THANKSGIVING. |
| 131 | SEE, THE WAY WE LOOK AT IT, CHOCOLATE ALREADY DOMINATES |
| 132 | MOST OF YOUR MAJOR FOOD PREPARATION HOLIDAYS-- |
| 133 | EASTER, CHRISTMAS, WHAT HAVE YOU. MM-HMM. |
| 134 | BUT... WE'RE THINKING, GIVEN THE RIGHT MARKETING |
| 135 | WE CAN MAKE THANKSGIVING THE MOCKOLATE HOLIDAY. |
| 136 | WOW. |
| 137 | AREN'T YOU GOING TO SWALLOW THAT? |
| 138 | JUST WAITING FOR IT TO STOP BUBBLING. |
| 139 | YEAH. ISN'T THAT GREAT? |
| 140 | MM. |
| 141 | WELL, ANYHOO, UH... WE'RE LOOKING FOR A COUPLE OF CHEFS |
| 142 | WHO CAN CREATE SOME THANKSGIVING-THEMED RECIPES. |
| 143 | YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED? |
| 144 | ABSO... |
| 145 | ( swallows ) |
| 146 | ...LUTELY. |
| 147 | ( chuckling ) |
| 148 | SEE, I LOVE CREATING NEW RECIPES. |
| 149 | I LOVE THANKSGIVING, AND, WELL, NOW... |
| 150 | I LOVE MOCKOLATE. |
| 151 | REALLY? |
| 152 | ESPECIALLY THAT AFTERTASTE. |
| 153 | THAT'LL LAST YOU TILL CHRISTMAS. |
| 154 | ( laughing ) |
| 155 | HOW ABOUT MOCKOLATE MOUSSE? |
| 156 | IT'S NOT... IT'S NOT VERY THANKSGIVING-Y. |
| 157 | OKAY. HOW ABOUT PILGRIM MOCKOLATE MOUSSE? |
| 158 | WHAT MAKES IT PILGRIM? |
| 159 | WE'LL PUT BUCKLES ON IT. |
| 160 | HEY. HEY. |
| 161 | DID, UH... ROSS CALL? |
| 162 | NO, I'M SORRY. |
| 163 | WHY DIDN'T HE CALL? |
| 164 | HE'S GOING TO STAY WITH JULIE, ISN'T HE? |
| 165 | HE'S GOING TO STAY WITH HER AND SHE'S GOING TO BE ALL |
| 166 | "HI. I'M JULIE. "ROSS PICKED ME |
| 167 | "AND WE'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE LOTS OF KIDS, AND DIG UP STUFF TOGETHER." |
| 168 | NO OFFENSE, BUT THAT SOUNDS NOTHING LIKE HER. |
| 169 | I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? |
| 170 | THIS IS LIKE A COMPLETE NIGHTMARE. |
| 171 | OH, I KNOW, THIS MUST BE SO HARD. |
| 172 | "OH, NO. TWO WOMEN LOVE ME." |
| 173 | "THEY'RE BOTH GORGEOUS AND SEXY." |
| 174 | "MY WALLET'S TOO SMALL FOR MY FIFTIES |
| 175 | AND MY DIAMOND SHOES ARE TOO TIGHT." |
| 176 | HERE'S A THOUGHT, ROSS-- DON'T TOUCH THE COMPUTER. |
| 177 | DON'T EVER TOUCH THE COMPUTER. |
| 178 | ROSS, LISTEN. |
| 179 | I GOT TWO WORDS FOR YOU. |
| 180 | THREESOME. |
| 181 | OKAY, LET'S GET LOGICAL ABOUT THIS. OKAY, WE'LL MAKE A LIST. |
| 182 | RACHEL AND JULIE, PROS AND CONS. OH. |
| 183 | WE'LL PUT THEIR NAMES IN BOLD WITH DIFFERENT FONTS |
| 184 | AND I CAN USE DIFFERENT COLORS FOR EACH COLUMN. |
| 185 | CAN'T WE JUST USE A PEN? |
| 186 | NO, AMISH BOY. |
| 187 | ALL RIGHT, LET'S, UH... LET'S START WITH THE CONS, 'CAUSE THEY'RE MORE FUN. |
| 188 | RACHEL FIRST. |
| 189 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 190 | I MEAN... ALL RIGHT, I GUESS YOU CAN SAY SHE'S... |
| 191 | SHE'S A LITTLE SPOILED SOMETIMES. |
| 192 | YOU COULD SAY THAT. |
| 193 | I GUESS, YOU KNOW SOMETIMES, SHE'S A LITTLE DITZY |
| 194 | AND I'VE SEEN HER BE A LITTLE TOO INTO HER LOOKS. |
| 195 | OH, AND LIKE, JULIE AND I, WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON |
| 196 | 'CAUSE WE'RE BOTH PALEONTOLOGISTS, RIGHT? |
| 197 | BUT RACHEL'S JUST A WAITRESS. |
| 198 | WAITRESS. |
| 199 | GOT IT. YOU GUYS WANT TO PLAY DOOM? |
| 200 | OR WE COULD KEEP DOING THIS. |
| 201 | WHAT ELSE? |
| 202 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 203 | OH, HER ANKLES ARE A LITTLE CHUBBY. |
| 204 | ( typing ) |
| 205 | OKAY. LET'S DO JULIE. |
| 206 | WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER? |
| 207 | SHE'S NOT RACHEL. |
| 208 | THIS IS PUMPKIN PIE WITH A MOCKOLATE COOKIE CRUMB CRUST. |
| 209 | THIS IS MOCKOLATE CRANBERRY CAKE, AND THESE ARE |
| 210 | MOCKOLATE CHIP COOKIES, JUST LIKE THE INDIANS SERVED. |
| 211 | OH, MY GOD! "OH, MY GOD" GOOD? |
| 212 | OH, MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LET ME PUT THIS IN MY MOUTH. |
| 213 | OH! OH! SWEET LORD! |
| 214 | THIS IS WHAT EVIL MUST TASTE LIKE. |
| 215 | I'M TELLING YOU, THIS THING WON'T PRINT. |
| 216 | YES, I PRESSED THAT BUTTON, LIKE, A HUNDRED TIMES. |
| 217 | YOU KNOW, FOR A HOT LINE, YOU'RE NOT SO HOT. |
| 218 | WHAT... WHAT IS THAT IN THE BACKGROUND? |
| 219 | ARE YOU WATCHING STAR TREK?! |
| 220 | HEY. SO HOW'D IT GO WITH JULIE? |
| 221 | DID YOU-- DID YOU BREAK HER HEART? |
| 222 | YES. |
| 223 | IT WAS HORRIBLE. |
| 224 | SHE CRIED, I CRIED. |
| 225 | SHE THREW THINGS, THEY HIT ME. |
| 226 | HMM. |
| 227 | ANYWAY... |
| 228 | I DID THE RIGHT THING. |
| 229 | SO, SPOCK ACTUALLY HUGS HIS FATHER? |
| 230 | HEY, DO YOU GUYS HAVE..? |
| 231 | HI. HI. |
| 232 | WHERE YOU GOING? |
| 233 | I, UH, I JUST GOT BACK |
| 234 | FROM, UH... FROM JULIE'S. |
| 235 | OH. NO, NO, UH... IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. |
| 236 | IT'S... UM, IT'S THE OTHER THING. |
| 237 | WELL... WHAT'S THE OTHER THING? WHAT DO I THINK? |
| 238 | WELL, UH... |
| 239 | HE BROKE UP WITH JULIE. |
| 240 | WELL, GO HUG HER, FOR GOD'S SAKES. |
| 241 | REALLY? REALLY. |
| 242 | IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU, RACH. |
| 243 | OH, GOD... |
| 244 | OH... OH... |
| 245 | OH... |
| 246 | OH, THIS IS GOOD, THIS IS REALLY GOOD. |
| 247 | I KNOW, I KNOW. |
| 248 | IT'S... IT'S ALMOST... |
| 249 | WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO TAKE A WALK-- JUST US, NOT THEM? |
| 250 | OKAY. LET ME GET MY COAT. |
| 251 | NO-- HEY! I'LL GET YOUR COAT. |
| 252 | OKAY. |
| 253 | HE'S GOING TO GET MY COAT. |
| 254 | HE'S GOING TO GET MY COAT! |
| 255 | OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! |
| 256 | THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! |
| 257 | WHAT'S THAT? WHAT?! NOTHING! |
| 258 | WHAT IS THAT? I SAW MY NAME. WHAT IS IT? |
| 259 | NO, NO. SEE? SEE? |
| 260 | HEY, IT'S PRINTING. |
| 261 | HEY, IT'S PRINTING! |
| 262 | WELL, WHAT IS IT? LET ME SEE. |
| 263 | HEY, SOMEONE ORDER A COAT? |
| 264 | ROSS, CHANDLER WROTE SOMETHING ABOUT ME ON HIS COMPUTER |
| 265 | AND HE WON'T LET ME SEE. |
| 266 | HE WON'T... HE WON'T? HE... |
| 267 | BECAUSE ISN'T THAT, ISN'T THAT THE... THE SHORT STORY YOU WERE WRITING? |
| 268 | YES, YES, IT IS THE SHORT STORY... |
| 269 | THAT I WAS WRITING. |
| 270 | AND I'M IN IT? WELL, LET ME READ IT! |
| 271 | ( all ) NO. COME ON! |
| 272 | HEY, UH, WHY DON'T YOU READ IT TO HER? |
| 273 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 274 | ( slowly ): "IT WAS SUMMER. |
| 275 | "AND IT WAS HOT. |
| 276 | RACHEL WAS THERE." HUH? |
| 277 | "A LONELY GRAY COUCH. |
| 278 | "'OH, LOOK,' CRIED NED. |
| 279 | AND THEN THE KINGDOM WAS HIS FOREVER. THE END." |
| 280 | THAT'S IT? THAT'S ALL YOU WROTE? |
| 281 | YOU'RE THE WORST WRITER IN THE WHOLE WORLD! |
| 282 | ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE. |
| 283 | THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT ME ON THAT PIECE OF PAPER |
| 284 | AND I WANT TO SEE IT. |
| 285 | NO, YOU DON'T. |
| 286 | ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE. |
| 287 | IF YOU GUYS WANT TO BE CHILDREN ABOUT THIS, THAT'S FINE. |
| 288 | I DO NOT NEED... TO SEE IT! |
| 289 | ( guys yelling ) |
| 290 | GO, GO, GO! |
| 291 | OOH! |
| 292 | WHAT IS THIS? |
| 293 | THAT IS... THAT'S, THAT'S... UH... |
| 294 | ROSS, WHAT IS THIS? |
| 295 | THANK YOU. |
| 296 | GOOD LUCK. |
| 297 | OKAY... JUST REMEMBER HOW CRAZY I AM ABOUT YOU, OKAY? |
| 298 | "KIND OF DITZY"? |
| 299 | "TOO INTO HER LOOKS"? |
| 300 | "SPOILED"? NOW, THAT'S "A LITTLE SPOILED." |
| 301 | HE WAS SUPPOSED TO TYPE "LITTLE", THE IDIOT. |
| 302 | "JUST A WAITRESS"? |
| 303 | NOW, THAT... THAT WAS, UH... |
| 304 | I MEAN, AS OPPOSED TO, UH... |
| 305 | THE, UH... OKAY, IS THIS OVER YET? RACH? |
| 306 | OH! I DO NOT HAVE CHUBBY ANKLES. |
| 307 | NO, I... NO, NO, RACH! |
| 308 | OKAY, LOOK AT THE OTHER SIDE. |
| 309 | LOOK AT JULIE'S COLUMN. |
| 310 | "SHE'S NOT RACHEM"? |
| 311 | NO... WHAT THE HELL'S A RACHEM? |
| 312 | IS THAT SOME STUPID PALEONTOLOGY WORD THAT I WOULDN'T KNOW |
| 313 | BECAUSE I'M JUST A WAITRESS? |
| 314 | RACH, COME ON! RACH... |
| 315 | RACH! RACH! NO, NO, NO! |
| 316 | IT'S "SHE'S NOT RACHEL." |
| 317 | SHE'S... SHE'S NOT... |
| 318 | RA... |
| 319 | RACHEL? |
| 320 | MY DIARY... MY DIARY-- THAT'S BRILLIANT! I SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER IT WAS MY DIARY! |
| 321 | SHE NEVER WOULD HAVE MADE ME READ HER MY DIARY! |
| 322 | NO, THAT'S TRUE. YOU'D BE A GREAT PERSON TO HAVE AROUND |
| 323 | THE DAY AFTER AN EMERGENCY. |
| 324 | I CANNOT BELIEVE ROSS EVEN MADE THIS LIST. |
| 325 | I KNOW. WHAT A DINKUS. |
| 326 | HEY, CUT HIM SOME SLACK. |
| 327 | IT WAS CHANDLER'S IDEA. |
| 328 | WHAT?! WHAT?! |
| 329 | OH, GOOD, I WAS HOPING THAT WOULD COME UP. |
| 330 | THIS WAS YOUR IDEA? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? |
| 331 | LET'S GET SOME PERSPECTIVE HERE, OKAY? |
| 332 | THESE THINGS, THEY HAPPEN FOR A REASON. |
| 333 | YEAH-- YOU! |
| 334 | ALL RIGHT, PHEEBS, BACK ME UP HERE, OKAY? |
| 335 | YOU BELIEVE IN THAT KARMA CRAP, DON'T YOU? |
| 336 | YEAH. BY THE WAY, GOOD LUCK IN YOUR NEXT LIFE |
| 337 | AS A DUNG BEETLE. |
| 338 | ( sighs ) |
| 339 | RACH-- WHOOPS! |
| 340 | RACH! |
| 341 | HEY! OPEN UP! PLEASE? |
| 342 | WHEN SOMEBODY DOES NOT BUZZ YOU IN, ROSS, THAT MEANS "GO AWAY." |
| 343 | THAT DOESN'T MEAN "PLEASE CLIMB UP THE FIRE ESCAPE." |
| 344 | I JUST WANT TO READ YOU SOMETHING-- YOUR "PRO" LIST. |
| 345 | NOT INTERESTED. |
| 346 | OKAY. "NUMBER ONE: |
| 347 | "THE WAY YOU CRY AT GAME SHOWS. |
| 348 | "NUMBER TWO: HOW MUCH YOU LOVE YOUR FRIENDS. |
| 349 | "NUMBER THREE: THE WAY YOU PLAY WITH YOUR HAIR "WHEN YOU'RE NERVOUS. |
| 350 | "NUMBER FOUR: HOW BRAVE YOU ARE |
| 351 | "FOR STARTING YOUR LIFE OVER. |
| 352 | "NUMBER FIVE: "HOW GREAT YOU ARE WITH BEN. |
| 353 | "NUMBER SIX: |
| 354 | THE WAY YOU SMELL." |
| 355 | HEY, ROSS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? |
| 356 | HEY, JOEY, YOU WANT TO OPEN THE WINDOW? |
| 357 | WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE? |
| 358 | I... I'M, UM... |
| 359 | OH, MY GOSH, YOU MUST BE FREEZING! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED? |
| 360 | HOW ABOUT A NICE, STEAMING CUP OF HOT MOCKOLATE? |
| 361 | RACH, COME ON, OPEN UP. |
| 362 | RACH, COME ON. YOU GOT TO GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE. |
| 363 | NO. NO? |
| 364 | THAT'S WHAT I SAID. LOOK, MAYBE WE SHOULD GO. |
| 365 | NO, YOU GUYS, YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE TO GO. WE'RE DONE TALKING. |
| 366 | I KNOW HOW YOU MUST... |
| 367 | NO, YOU DON'T, ROSS. |
| 368 | IMAGINE |
| 369 | THE WORST THINGS YOU'D THINK ABOUT YOURSELF. |
| 370 | NOW, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF THE ONE PERSON YOU TRUSTED THE MOST IN THE WORLD |
| 371 | NOT ONLY THINKS THEM TOO |
| 372 | BUT ACTUALLY USES THEM AS REASONS NOT TO BE WITH YOU. |
| 373 | NO, BUT, BUT... |
| 374 | SEE, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU IN SPITE OF ALL THOSE THINGS. |
| 375 | OH! WELL, THAT'S... THAT'S MIGHTY BIG OF YOU, ROSS. |
| 376 | I SAID, DON'T GO! |
| 377 | YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT? IF THINGS WERE THE OTHER WAY AROUND |
| 378 | THERE WAS NOTHING YOU COULD PUT ON A LIST |
| 379 | THAT WOULD EVER MAKE ME NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU. |
| 380 | WELL... THEN I GUESS THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US. |
| 381 | SEE, I'D NEVER MAKE A LIST. |
| 382 | I NEVER KNOW HOW LONG YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT |
| 383 | IN THIS TYPE OF SITUATION BEFORE YOU CAN TALK AGAIN |
| 384 | YOU KNOW? |
| 385 | MAYBE A LITTLE LONGER. |
| 386 | NOW, IN SOME OF THESE RECIPES |
| 387 | THE QUANTITIES MAY SEEM JUST A LITTLE UNUSUAL. |
| 388 | LIKE THESE COCONUT-MOCKOLATE HOLIDAY NUT BARS? |
| 389 | I'VE INDICATED FOUR CUPS OF COCONUT, FOUR CUPS OF CRUSHED NUT |
| 390 | AND ONLY, UH, ONE TABLESPOON OF MOCKOLATE. |
| 391 | DOESN'T MATTER. WHAT? |
| 392 | OUR F.D.A. APPROVAL DIDN'T COME THROUGH. |
| 393 | SOMETHING ABOUT LABORATORY RATS. |
| 394 | OH, GOSH, I'M SORRY. |
| 395 | YEAH... HELL, ANYHOO, HERE'S YOUR CHECK |
| 396 | AND THANK YOU FOR ALL THE TROUBLE YOU WENT THROUGH. |
| 397 | UH, LISTEN, YOU DIDN'T EAT A LOT OF IT |
| 398 | WHILE YOU WERE COOKING, DID YOU? |
| 399 | WELL, UH, I ATE SOME. |
| 400 | OH, SOME-- THAT'S FINE. SOME IS FINE. |
| 401 | SOME IS NOT "A LOT." |
| 402 | OKAY. |
| 403 | SO IT DOESN'T BURN WHEN YOU PEE, DOES IT? |
| 404 | ( ringing ) |
| 405 | HELLO? HI. |
| 406 | IS THAT HIM AGAIN? |
| 407 | TELL HIM I'D COME TO THE PHONE |
| 408 | BUT MY ANKLES ARE WEIGHING ME DOWN. |
| 409 | LISTEN, I DON'T THINK THIS IS THE BEST TIME. |
| 410 | LOOK, CAN... CAN YOU DO SOMETHING FOR ME? |
| 411 | SURE. WHAT? |
| 412 | OKAY. |
| 413 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 414 | MUSIC? |
| 415 | SURE. |
| 416 | ( rock tune ending ) |
| 417 | Deejay: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. |
| 418 | Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did. |
| 419 | He hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. |
| 420 | ( love song playing ) |
| 421 | ( song continues ) |
| 422 | ( song stops ) |
| 423 | Deejay: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel |
| 424 | and she told us what Ross did. |
| 425 | It's pretty appalling, and, Ross, if you're listening |
| 426 | I don't want to play your song anymore. |
| 427 | Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? |
| 428 | ( heavy metal intro ) Avery, Michelle is sorry she hit you with her car |
| 429 | and she hopes you two will work it out. |
| 430 | ♪ There's a room where ♪ |
| 431 | ♪ I can go and ♪ |
| 432 | ♪ Tell my secrets to ♪ |
| 433 | ♪ In my room ♪ |
| 434 | ♪ In my room ♪ |
| 435 | ♪ In my room ♪ |
| 436 | ♪ In my room. ♪ |
| 437 | HI. THANKS FOR COMING IN AGAIN. OH, NOT AT ALL. |
| 438 | I HAVE NO MORALS, AND I NEED THE CASH. |
| 439 | IT'S LIKE I'M LOOKING IN A MIRROR. |
| 440 | ANYWAY, THEY'RE CALLED "FISHTACHIOS." |
| 441 | NOW. THEY TASTE EXACTLY LIKE PISTACHIOS, BUT THEY'RE |
| 442 | MADE PRIMARILY OF RECONSTITUTED FISH BITS. |
| 443 | HERE. TRY ONE. ALL RIGHT... |
| 444 | YOU'RE NOT ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING, ARE YOU? |
| 445 | CAT HAIR. OH. SORRY. |
| 446 | |
| 1 | Phoebe: OOH, OOH, OOH! |
| 2 | UGLY NAKED GUY'S DECORATING HIS TREE. |
| 3 | AND OH, MY GOD, YOU SHOULD SEE THE SIZE |
| 4 | OF HIS CHRISTMAS BALLS. |
| 5 | HEY. HEY. |
| 6 | HOW MUCH DID YOU GUYS TIP THE SUPER THIS YEAR? |
| 7 | WE WERE GOING TO GIVE 50. |
| 8 | BUT IF YOU GAVE MORE, WE HATE TO LOOK BAD. |
| 9 | ACTUALLY, THIS YEAR, WE JUST MADE HIM HOMEMADE COOKIES. |
| 10 | AND 25 IT IS. |
| 11 | YOU GAVE HIM COOKIES? |
| 12 | MONEY IS SO IMPERSONAL. |
| 13 | COOKIES SAYS SOMEONE REALLY CARES. |
| 14 | ALL RIGHT, WE'RE BROKE. |
| 15 | BUT COOKIES DO SAY THAT. |
| 16 | I CAN SEE THAT. |
| 17 | A PLATE OF BROWNIES ONCE TOLD ME A LIMERICK. |
| 18 | PHEEBS, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. |
| 19 | WERE THESE, UH, "FUNNY" BROWNIES? |
| 20 | NOT ESPECIALLY. |
| 21 | BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK THEY HAD POT IN THEM. |
| 22 | SO, YOU GUYS, WHO ELSE DID YOU TIP WITH COOKIES? |
| 23 | UH, THE MAILMAN... |
| 24 | THE SUPER... |
| 25 | ( thudding ) |
| 26 | Monica: OH, AND THE NEWSPAPER DELIVERY GUY. |
| 27 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 28 | Phoebe: WHAT? |
| 29 | I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE THIS. |
| 30 | Phoebe: OH, WOW! |
| 31 | OOH! GOSH! |
| 32 | OH, THERE'S A COOKIE SMASHED IN THE SPORTS SECTION. |
| 33 | OH, LOOK! AND HE DID MY CROSSWORD PUZZLE. |
| 34 | YEAH, BUT NOT VERY WELL. |
| 35 | UNLESS "FOURTEEN ACROSS: GERSHWIN MUSICAL" ACTUALLY IS |
| 36 | "BITE ME, BITE ME, BITE ME, BITE ME." |
| 37 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 39 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 40 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 41 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 42 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 43 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 44 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 45 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 46 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 47 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 48 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 49 | I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S CHRISTMAS ALREADY. |
| 50 | I MEAN ONE DAY YOU'RE EATING TURKEY. |
| 51 | THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOUR LORDS ARE A-LEAPING |
| 52 | AND YOUR GEESE ARE A-LAYING. |
| 53 | WHICH IS WHY GEESE ARE SO RELAXED |
| 54 | THIS TIME OF YEAR. |
| 55 | HEY, GUYS. |
| 56 | All: HEY. |
| 57 | HEY, RACH. |
| 58 | I, UH, GOT YOU A LITTLE PRESENT. |
| 59 | I'LL OPEN IT. |
| 60 | IT'S A SLINKY. |
| 61 | REMEMBER? |
| 62 | ♪ WHAT WALKS DOWNSTAIRS ♪ |
| 63 | ♪ ALONE OR IN PAIRS ♪ |
| 64 | ♪ EVERYONE KNOWS IT'S... ♪ |
| 65 | ♪ JUST A BIG SPRING. ♪ |
| 66 | ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE STILL MAD AT ME |
| 67 | BECAUSE OF THE WHOLE... |
| 68 | HORRIBLE AND DEGRADING LIST OF REASONS NOT TO BE WITH ME? |
| 69 | HOW ABOUT FROM NOW ON WE JUST CALL IT |
| 70 | THE "UNFORTUNATE INCIDENT"? |
| 71 | HEY, GUNTHER. |
| 72 | YOU'VE GOT STAIRS IN YOUR PLACE? |
| 73 | YEAH. |
| 74 | GO NUTS. |
| 75 | HEY, GUYS. |
| 76 | Both: HEY. |
| 77 | WHAT'S IN THE BAG? |
| 78 | MMM, JUST SOME PRESENTS. |
| 79 | COME ON, SHOW US WHAT YOU BOUGHT. |
| 80 | YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. |
| 81 | OKAY. |
| 82 | OKAY, THIS IS A PICTURE FRAME |
| 83 | FROM BEN TO MY PARENTS. |
| 84 | AW, THAT'S CUTE. |
| 85 | I GOT SOME "HERS AND HERS" TOWELS FOR SUSAN AND CAROL. |
| 86 | AND, UH... |
| 87 | I GOT THIS BLOUSE FOR MOM. |
| 88 | ROSS, THAT IS GORGEOUS. |
| 89 | LOOK AT THESE AUTHENTIC FAKE MEDALS. |
| 90 | MOM'S GOING TO BE VOTED BEST-DRESSED |
| 91 | AT THE MAKE-BELIEVE MILITARY ACADEMY. |
| 92 | HEY. |
| 93 | HEY, PHEEBS. |
| 94 | HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE EVE. |
| 95 | YOU TOO. |
| 96 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 97 | WHERE DID YOU GET THIS? |
| 98 | UH, MACY'S, THIRD FLOOR. |
| 99 | HOME FURNISHINGS. |
| 100 | THIS IS MY FATHER. |
| 101 | THIS IS A PICTURE OF MY DAD. |
| 102 | PHEEBS, THAT'S THE GUY THAT COMES IN THE FRAME. |
| 103 | NO. THIS IS MY DAD. I'LL SHOW YOU. |
| 104 | PHOEBE, I THOUGHT YOUR DAD WAS IN PRISON. |
| 105 | NO, NO. THAT'S MY STEP-DAD. |
| 106 | MY REAL DAD'S THE ONE THAT RAN OUT ON US |
| 107 | BEFORE I WAS BORN. |
| 108 | HOW HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN ON OPRAH? |
| 109 | OKAY, LOOK, SEE? THIS IS HIM. |
| 110 | MY MOTHER GAVE ME THIS PICTURE BEFORE SHE DIED. |
| 111 | SAME GUY. |
| 112 | HONEY, UH, THIS IS A PICTURE OF THE FRAME GUY |
| 113 | POSING IN FRONT OF A BRIGHT BLUE SCREEN |
| 114 | WITH A COLLIE. |
| 115 | THAT'S NOT A BLUE SCREEN. |
| 116 | IT'S JUST... |
| 117 | MAYBE IT WAS JUST REALLY CLEAR THAT DAY. |
| 118 | OKAY. I HAVE TO TALK TO MY GRANDMOTHER. |
| 119 | Monica: BUT WAIT A MINUTE, HONEY... |
| 120 | Men: PHEEBS... PHEEBS... |
| 121 | WHOA. |
| 122 | WOW. |
| 123 | SO, ANYWAY, I'M TRYING TO GET MY BOSS'S EX-WIFE |
| 124 | TO SLEEP WITH ME. |
| 125 | All: JOEY! |
| 126 | OH, BUT WHEN PHOEBE HAS A PROBLEM, EVERYONE'S ALL EARS. |
| 127 | "ES-THER LIVINGSTON..." |
| 128 | GONE! |
| 129 | AND... |
| 130 | HI, POOH. |
| 131 | HI, GRAM. |
| 132 | WHAT YOU DOING? |
| 133 | OH, JUST UPDATING THE PHONE BOOK. |
| 134 | UM, GRAM? |
| 135 | UM, CAN I SEE THE PICTURES OF MY DAD AGAIN? |
| 136 | OH. |
| 137 | OH, SURE, SURE. |
| 138 | UH... |
| 139 | HOW COME? |
| 140 | JUST, YOU KNOW, TO... SEE THEM. |
| 141 | OH, SURE. YEAH. |
| 142 | ALL RIGHT, WELL... |
| 143 | THIS IS THE ONE OF YOUR FATHER IN A MEADOW. |
| 144 | AND, UH, HELPING A LITTLE BOY FLY A KITE. |
| 145 | AND HERE HE IS AT A GRADUATION. |
| 146 | ANOTHER GRADUATION. |
| 147 | ANOTHER GRADUATION. |
| 148 | OKAY. |
| 149 | IS THIS REALLY MY FATHER? |
| 150 | IS IT REALLY YOUR F... |
| 151 | I CA... |
| 152 | WELL, OF COURSE IT IS. |
| 153 | I SMELL SMOKE. |
| 154 | MAYBE THAT'S 'CAUSE SOMEONE'S PANTS ARE ON FIRE. |
| 155 | WELL, I... |
| 156 | YOU KNOW, IN ALL THE YEARS |
| 157 | THAT WE HAVE BEEN GRANDMOTHER AND GRANDDAUGHTER |
| 158 | YOU HAVE NEVER LIED TO ME. |
| 159 | ALL RIGHT, THAT IS NOT YOUR FATHER. |
| 160 | THAT'S JUST A PICTURE OF A GUY IN A FRAME. |
| 161 | OH, GOD... |
| 162 | IT WAS YOUR MOTHER'S IDEA. |
| 163 | SHE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW YOUR REAL FATHER |
| 164 | BECAUSE IT HURT HER SO MUCH WHEN HE LEFT. |
| 165 | AND I DIDN'T WANT TO GO ALONG WITH IT... |
| 166 | BUT THEN SHE DIED |
| 167 | AND IT WAS HARDER TO ARGUE WITH HER. |
| 168 | NOT IMPOSSIBLE, BUT HARDER. |
| 169 | ALL RIGHT, SO... |
| 170 | WELL, HE'S NOT A FAMOUS TREE SURGEON? |
| 171 | AND THEN I GUESS, OKAY |
| 172 | HE DOESN'T LIVE IN A HUT IN BURMA |
| 173 | WHERE THERE'S NO PHONES? |
| 174 | LAST I HEARD, HE WAS A PHARMACIST |
| 175 | SOMEWHERE UPSTATE. |
| 176 | OKAY. THAT MAKES NO SENSE. |
| 177 | WHY WOULD THE VILLAGERS WORSHIP A PHARMACIST? |
| 178 | HONEY... |
| 179 | OH. |
| 180 | YEAH. |
| 181 | ANYWAY, THAT'S ALL I KNOW. |
| 182 | THAT... |
| 183 | AND THIS. |
| 184 | THIS... |
| 185 | IS THE REAL HIM. |
| 186 | OH. |
| 187 | YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER MY FATHER |
| 188 | ALL DRESSED UP IN THE RED SUIT |
| 189 | WITH THE BIG BLACK BOOTS AND THE PATENT LEATHER BELT... |
| 190 | SNEAKING AROUND DOWNSTAIRS. |
| 191 | HE DIDN'T WANT ANYBODY TO SEE HIM. |
| 192 | BUT HE'D BE DRUNK |
| 193 | SO HE'D STUMBLE, CRASH INTO SOMETHING |
| 194 | AND WAKE EVERYBODY UP. |
| 195 | THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS. |
| 196 | WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT CHRISTMAS? |
| 197 | HI. |
| 198 | HEY. ANYONE HEAR FROM PHOEBE YET? |
| 199 | NO, NOTHING. |
| 200 | I HOPE SHE'S OKAY. |
| 201 | I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SHE'S GOING THROUGH. |
| 202 | HOW DO YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SHE'S GOING THROUGH? |
| 203 | SHE TOLD US. |
| 204 | SO WHAT'D YOU GOT THERE, MONICA? |
| 205 | JUST SOME STUFF FOR THE PARTY. |
| 206 | SHOULDN'T YOU GUYS BE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING? |
| 207 | YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN YOUR PRESENTS YET? |
| 208 | TOMORROW'S CHRISTMAS EVE. |
| 209 | WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? |
| 210 | DON'T YOU HAVE TO BE CLAYMATION TO SAY STUFF LIKE THAT? |
| 211 | MON, I DON'T THINK THE MAILMAN LIKED YOUR COOKIES. |
| 212 | HERE ARE THE ORNAMENTS YOUR MOM SENT. |
| 213 | ( splinters rattling ) |
| 214 | WELL... |
| 215 | MAYBE THE MAILMAN LIKED THE COOKIES. |
| 216 | WE JUST DIDN'T GIVE HIM ENOUGH. |
| 217 | MONICA, PIGEONS LEARN FASTER THAN YOU. |
| 218 | ( both giggling ) |
| 219 | HEY, RACH... YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 220 | I THINK I KNOW WHAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. |
| 221 | HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE A LIST ABOUT ME? |
| 222 | FORGET IT, ROSS. |
| 223 | I WON'T STAND HERE |
| 224 | AND MAKE A LIST... |
| 225 | OKAY. YOU'RE WHINY. |
| 226 | YOU ARE... YOU'RE OBSESSIVE. |
| 227 | YOU ARE INSECURE. |
| 228 | YOU'RE GUTLESS. |
| 229 | YOU DON'T JUST SEIZE THE DAY. |
| 230 | YOU LIKED ME FOR, WHAT, A YEAR |
| 231 | AND YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. |
| 232 | AND, UH... OH, YOU WEAR TOO MUCH OF THAT GEL IN YOUR HAIR. |
| 233 | SEE? THERE... YOU, UH... |
| 234 | ALL RIGHT. YOU DID WHAT I SAID. |
| 235 | YEAH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 236 | YOU'RE RIGHT. I DO FEEL BETTER. |
| 237 | THANK YOU, ROSS. |
| 238 | YEAH. IN ALBANY. |
| 239 | COULD I HAVE THE NUMBER OF FRANK BUFFAY? |
| 240 | OKAY. UM, IN ITHACA? |
| 241 | ALL RIGHT, UM, SARATOGA? |
| 242 | ONEONTA? |
| 243 | ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 244 | YOU SHOULDN'T CALL YOURSELF "INFORMATION." |
| 245 | HEY. |
| 246 | HELLO, GRANDMA. |
| 247 | IF THAT IS, IN FACT, YOUR REAL NAME. |
| 248 | COME ON NOW, POOH. |
| 249 | DON'T STILL BE MAD AT ME. |
| 250 | HOW'S IT GOING? |
| 251 | NOT SO GOOD. |
| 252 | UPSTATE'S PRETTY BIG. |
| 253 | HE'S PRETTY SMALL. YOU DO THE MATH. |
| 254 | WELL, I THINK YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM. |
| 255 | OH, HONEY, I KNOW HE'S YOUR DADDY |
| 256 | BUT TO ME, HE'S STILL THE IRRESPONSIBLE CREEP |
| 257 | WHO KNOCKED UP YOUR MOM AND STOLE HER GREMLIN. |
| 258 | I KNOW, I JUST... |
| 259 | I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHO HE WAS, YOU KNOW... |
| 260 | YEAH. I KNOW. |
| 261 | OKAY. |
| 262 | I WASN'T COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU |
| 263 | WHEN I TOLD YOU THAT, UH... |
| 264 | I DIDN'T KNOW EXACTLY WHERE HE LIVED. |
| 265 | WHAT DO YOU MEAN? |
| 266 | HE LIVES AT 74 LAUREL DRIVE IN MIDDLETOWN. |
| 267 | IF YOU HIT THE DIARY QUEEN, YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR. |
| 268 | HERE-- TAKE MY CAB. |
| 269 | WOW! |
| 270 | THANK YOU. |
| 271 | NOW, REMEMBER, NOBODY ELSE DRIVES THAT CAB. |
| 272 | UH-HUH. GOT IT. |
| 273 | I'M GOING TO SEE MY DAD. |
| 274 | OH, THANK YOU. |
| 275 | OH... OH... |
| 276 | OKAY. |
| 277 | WISH ME LUCK, GRANDPA. |
| 278 | HEY. PHOEBE HERE WITH THE CAB YET? |
| 279 | YEAH, SHE BROUGHT THE INVISIBLE CAB. |
| 280 | HOP IN. |
| 281 | SHE BETTER GET HERE SOON. |
| 282 | THE OUTLET STORES CLOSE AT 7:00. |
| 283 | DON'T WORRY. I FIGURE TWO HOURS TO PHOEBE'S DAD'S HOUSE. |
| 284 | THEY'LL MEET, CHAT, SWAP LIFE STORIES. |
| 285 | WE'LL STILL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME. |
| 286 | HEY, HERE SHE COMES. |
| 287 | HEY, HEY! |
| 288 | HEY. |
| 289 | HI. |
| 290 | HEY! |
| 291 | HEY. |
| 292 | CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? |
| 293 | IN LIKE TWO HOURS, I'M GOING TO HAVE A DAD. EESHK! |
| 294 | EESHK. |
| 295 | YEAH, BIG STUFF. |
| 296 | OKAY, LET'S GO. |
| 297 | OKAY. |
| 298 | HERE. YOU HAVE TO HOLD THIS. |
| 299 | OKAY. |
| 300 | "BRAKE: LEFT, GAS: RIGHT?" |
| 301 | UH-HUH. YEAH. THAT'S MY CHEAT SHEET. |
| 302 | WHERE'S MY SEAT BELT? |
| 303 | OH, NO, THAT SIDE DOESN'T HAVE ONE. |
| 304 | THE PARAMEDICS HAD TO CUT THROUGH IT. |
| 305 | HEY! |
| 306 | HEY. |
| 307 | COME ON, JUST TELL ME, PLEASE. |
| 308 | PLEASE. |
| 309 | FOR THE 16th TIME |
| 310 | NO, I DO NOT THINK YOU'RE OBSESSIVE. |
| 311 | OH, GOSH, IT'S HOT IN HERE. |
| 312 | RACH, GET THE HEAT. |
| 313 | ROSS, COULD YOU TURN THE HEAT DOWN, PLEASE? |
| 314 | SURE. AND BY THE WAY, THERE'S A DIFFERENCE |
| 315 | BETWEEN BEING OBSESSIVE... |
| 316 | ROSS, THE HEAT. |
| 317 | FINE. OKAY. |
| 318 | HEAT, HEAT, HEAT. |
| 319 | AND I'M THE OBSESSIVE ONE. |
| 320 | OKAY, THIS WAY IS ON, SO THIS IS... |
| 321 | OFF. |
| 322 | DID YOU JUST BREAK THE RADIATOR? |
| 323 | NO. |
| 324 | NO, I WAS TURNING THE KNOB AND, AND... |
| 325 | HERE IT IS. |
| 326 | WELL, PUT IT BACK. |
| 327 | IT, UH... |
| 328 | IT WON'T GO BACK. |
| 329 | OH... I'LL CALL THE SUPER. |
| 330 | HERE. LET ME TRY. |
| 331 | OH. OH, THAT'S RIGHT. |
| 332 | I FORGOT ABOUT YOUR ABILITY TO FUSE METAL. |
| 333 | HEY, IT'S FUNNY'S COUSIN, NOT FUNNY. |
| 334 | HI, MR. TREEGER. |
| 335 | HI, IT'S RACHEL GREEN FROM UPSTAIRS. |
| 336 | YES, SOMEBODY BROKE OUR KNOB ON THE RADIATOR |
| 337 | AND IT'S REALLY HOT IN HERE. |
| 338 | YES, IT'S HOT ENOUGH TO BAKE COOKIES. |
| 339 | WELL, DO YOU THINK WE COULD HAVE A NEW ONE BY 6:00? |
| 340 | WHAT? NO, NO. TUESDAY? |
| 341 | WE CAN'T WAIT UNTIL TUESDAY. |
| 342 | WE'RE HAVING A PARTY TONIGHT. |
| 343 | OKAY, TIP THE MAN. |
| 344 | NO, IF HE DOESN'T LIKE OUR COOKIES, TOO BAD. |
| 345 | I'M NOT GOING TO BE BLACKMAILED. |
| 346 | LOOK, IF WORSE COMES TO WORSE, IT GETS A LITTLE WARM |
| 347 | WE'LL CALL IT A THEME PARTY. |
| 348 | HEY, HERE'S A THEME-- |
| 349 | COME ON IN, LIVE LIKE BACON. |
| 350 | Phoebe: OOH, THIS IS IT. |
| 351 | 74. |
| 352 | OH, SO THAT'S WHAT THIS IS FOR. |
| 353 | WOW. THIS IS IT. |
| 354 | I'M GOING TO MEET MY DAD. |
| 355 | THIS IS LIKE THE BIGGEST THING EVER, HUH? |
| 356 | YEAH. SURE IS. |
| 357 | OKAY. |
| 358 | HERE I GO. I'M GOING IN. |
| 359 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 360 | GOOD LUCK, PHEEBS. |
| 361 | OKAY. |
| 362 | HERE I GO. |
| 363 | HERE I GO. |
| 364 | I'M GOING. |
| 365 | HI. WELCOME TO OUR TROPICAL CHRISTMAS PARTY. |
| 366 | YOU CAN PUT YOUR COATS AND SWEATERS |
| 367 | AND PANTS AND SHIRTS IN THE BEDROOM. |
| 368 | IT'S HARD TO TELL BECAUSE I'M SWEATING |
| 369 | BUT I USE EXACTLY WHAT THE GEL BOTTLE SAYS. |
| 370 | AN AMOUNT ABOUT THE SIZE OF A PEA. |
| 371 | HOW CAN THAT BE TOO MUCH? |
| 372 | Monica: ICE? |
| 373 | ICE? ICE SQUARES, ANYONE? |
| 374 | TAKE A NAPKIN. |
| 375 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 376 | MONICA. |
| 377 | MONICA. |
| 378 | MONICA, YOUR GUESTS |
| 379 | ARE TURNING INTO JERKY, OKAY? |
| 380 | REALLY? |
| 381 | I'M PERFECTLY COMFORTABLE. |
| 382 | HEY, HEY, HEY, GET IN LINE, BUDDY. |
| 383 | I WAS NEXT. |
| 384 | MR. TREEGER. |
| 385 | YOU SAID THERE WAS A PARTY. |
| 386 | OH, YEAH. |
| 387 | WELL, HEY, WELCOME TO OUR SAUNA. |
| 388 | IS IT HOT? |
| 389 | MY BODY ALWAYS STAYS COOL. |
| 390 | PROBABLY BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH SKIN. |
| 391 | HEY, CHEESE. |
| 392 | ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, HERE'S THE CHANCE. |
| 393 | MONICA, GIVE HIM CASH. RACHEL, GIVE HIM YOUR EARRINGS. |
| 394 | SOMETHING. NOW. ANYTHING. |
| 395 | NO. |
| 396 | I WILL NOT CAVE. |
| 397 | YEAH, I'M WITH MON. |
| 398 | ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. |
| 399 | YOU KNOW HOW YOU SAY I NEVER SEIZE THE DAY? |
| 400 | EVEN THOUGH HE'S YOUR SUPER, I'M SEIZING. |
| 401 | MR. TREEGER? |
| 402 | HERE IS 50 BUCKS. |
| 403 | MERRY CHRISTMAS. |
| 404 | OH, WOW. I DIDN'T GET YOU ANYTHING. |
| 405 | HERE'S FIVE BACK. |
| 406 | NO, NO. THAT'S YOUR CHRISTMAS TIP. |
| 407 | ALL RIGHT? OH, HEY. |
| 408 | DO YOU THINK THERE'S A CHANCE YOU CAN FIX THAT RADIATOR NOW? |
| 409 | NO CAN DO. LIKE I TOLD THE GIRL |
| 410 | I CAN'T GET A NEW KNOB UNTIL TUESDAY. |
| 411 | ROSS? |
| 412 | YEAH. |
| 413 | LOOKS LIKE HE'S PLAYING BASEBALL. |
| 414 | YOU MEAN HARDBALL? |
| 415 | WHATEVER. |
| 416 | WHAT YOU GONNA DO? |
| 417 | EXCUSE ME. I'M SEIZING. |
| 418 | MR. TREEGER... |
| 419 | HERE'S ANOTHER 50. |
| 420 | HAPPY HANUKKAH. |
| 421 | WILL THIS HELP WITH THE KNOB-GETTING? |
| 422 | NO. |
| 423 | THE PLACE IS NOT OPEN TILL TUESDAY. |
| 424 | AM I NOT SAYING IT RIGHT? |
| 425 | SO, WAIT... |
| 426 | YOU REALLY DID LIKE MY COOKIES? |
| 427 | OH, YEAH. |
| 428 | THEY WERE SO PERSONAL. |
| 429 | IT REALLY SHOWED YOU CARED. |
| 430 | NICE SEIZING... GEL-BOY. |
| 431 | SO, UH... |
| 432 | IS THIS, UH... |
| 433 | MISTLETOE? |
| 434 | ( laughs ) |
| 435 | NO, AC... NO. |
| 436 | UH, THAT... THAT IS BASIL. |
| 437 | OH. |
| 438 | 'CAUSE IF IT WAS MISTLETOE |
| 439 | I WAS GOING TO KISS YOU. |
| 440 | HO-HO! |
| 441 | YEAH, NO. IT'S STILL BASIL. |
| 442 | ♪ CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE ♪ |
| 443 | ♪ JACK FROST NIPPING AT YOUR NOSE ♪ |
| 444 | OKAY. |
| 445 | HOW FAR DID YOU GET? |
| 446 | MAILBOX. |
| 447 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 448 | WE'RE GETTING CLOSER. |
| 449 | UH-HUH. |
| 450 | PHEEBS, WHAT'S GOING ON? |
| 451 | NO, IT'S JUST LIKE, YOU KNOW |
| 452 | IT'S A WHOLE MESS OF STUFF, YOU KNOW |
| 453 | BECAUSE... LIKE YESTERDAY, YOU KNOW |
| 454 | MY DAD WAS THIS, LIKE, FAMOUS BURMA TREE SURGEON GUY |
| 455 | AND, YOU KNOW, NOW HE'S A PHARMACIST GUY. |
| 456 | WELL, MAYBE |
| 457 | HE'S THIS REALLY COOL PHARMACIST GUY. |
| 458 | YEAH, MAYBE. |
| 459 | YEAH. |
| 460 | YOU KNOW, AND I'LL KNOCK ON THE DOOR |
| 461 | AND HE'LL HUG ME AND I'LL HAVE A DAD. |
| 462 | YOU KNOW, AND I'LL GO TO HIS PHARMACY |
| 463 | AND EVERYONE WILL BE REALLY NICE TO ME |
| 464 | 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, I'M FRANK'S DAUGHTER. |
| 465 | WELL, SO WHY NOT GO KNOCK? |
| 466 | WELL, 'CAUSE, I MEAN, WHAT IF... |
| 467 | WHAT IF HE'S NOT THIS GREAT DAD GUY? |
| 468 | I MEAN, WHAT IF HE'S JUST STILL THE DIRTBAG |
| 469 | WHO RAN OUT ON MY MOM AND US? |
| 470 | YEAH. HMM. |
| 471 | YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 472 | I'VE ALREADY LOST A FAKE DAD THIS WEEK |
| 473 | AND... |
| 474 | I DON'T THINK I'M READY TO LOSE A REAL ONE. |
| 475 | PHEEBS, THAT'S OKAY. |
| 476 | YOU TOOK A BIG STEP TODAY. |
| 477 | YEAH? |
| 478 | YEAH. |
| 479 | AND SOMEDAY WHEN YOU'RE READY |
| 480 | YOU'LL MAKE IT PAST THE HEDGES. |
| 481 | AND WHEN YOU DO, HE'LL BE LUCKY TO HAVE YOU. |
| 482 | YOU GUYS... |
| 483 | I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR SHOPPING. |
| 484 | OH, THAT'S OKAY. |
| 485 | WE'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT. |
| 486 | UH... LISTEN, PHEEBS, I KNOW YOU'RE NOT GOING IN THERE |
| 487 | BUT YOU THINK IT WOULD BE ALL RIGHT |
| 488 | IF I WENT IN AND USED HIS BATHROOM? |
| 489 | THAT'S FINE. NEVER MIND. |
| 490 | I JUST... |
| 491 | COOL. SNOW. |
| 492 | KIND OF LIKE A BLANK CANVAS. |
| 493 | HO-HO-HO-HOLY CRAP, IS IT HOT IN HERE. |
| 494 | HEY, YOU MIND IF I TURN THE HEAT DOWN? |
| 495 | HEY, WE COULD'VE USED THAT KIND OF THINKING EARLIER. |
| 496 | Ross: HEY, PHEEBS, HOW DID IT GO? |
| 497 | OH... I COULDN'T GO IN. |
| 498 | Monica: OH, HONEY, I'M SORRY. |
| 499 | WELL, ARE YOU OKAY? |
| 500 | YEAH, YEAH. NO, IT'S OKAY. |
| 501 | 'CAUSE, I MEAN, I KNOW HE'S THERE |
| 502 | SO THAT'S ENOUGH FOR NOW. |
| 503 | HEY, GUYS, IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT. |
| 504 | MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE. |
| 505 | OH, THAT'S RIGHT! |
| 506 | MERRY CHRISTMAS! MERRY CHRISTMAS! |
| 507 | HEY, MONICA, THE KNOB WAS BROKEN |
| 508 | SO I JUST TURNED IT OFF FROM UNDERNEATH. |
| 509 | I HOPE THAT'S ALL RIGHT. |
| 510 | Joey: RACH, THESE ARE FOR YOU. |
| 511 | WIPER BLADES. |
| 512 | I DON'T EVEN HAVE A CAR. |
| 513 | NO, BUT WITH THIS NEW CAR SMELL |
| 514 | YOU'LL THINK YOU DO! |
| 515 | THERE. |
| 516 | OKAY, PHEEBS, YOUR TURN. |
| 517 | OH! TOILET SEAT COVERS! |
| 518 | IT'S THAT WHAT YOU GOT WHEN I GOT GAS? |
| 519 | UH-HUH. UH-HUH. |
| 520 | YOU GUYS... |
| 521 | OKAY. AND FOR ROSS... |
| 522 | MR. SWEET TOOTH... |
| 523 | YOU GOT ME A COLA DRINK? |
| 524 | AND... A LEMON-LIME! |
| 525 | WOW... |
| 526 | WELL, THIS... |
| 527 | THIS IS TOO MUCH. |
| 528 | I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD GET YOU ANOTHER SWEATER. |
| 529 | NO. |
| 530 | AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST... |
| 531 | THEY'RE RIBBED FOR YOUR PLEASURE. |
| 532 | |
| 1 | JOEY, WOULD YOU SLOW DOWN? |
| 2 | THEY'RE NOT GOING TO BE SOLD OUT OF PAPERS |
| 3 | AT 1:00 IN THE MORNING. |
| 4 | I'M EXCITED. |
| 5 | I'VE NEVER GOTTEN REVIEWED BEFORE. |
| 6 | YOU WERE SO AMAZING AS THE KING. I'M REALLY IMPRESSED. I WAS. |
| 7 | ALTHOUGH YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 8 | YOU MIGHT WANT TO CONSIDER WEARING UNDERWEAR NEXT TIME. |
| 9 | YEAH, 'CAUSE WHEN YOU SAT DOWN ON YOUR THRONE, |
| 10 | YOU COULD KIND OF SEE YOUR... ROYAL SUBJECTS. |
| 11 | HERE IT IS, HERE IT IS! |
| 12 | "THE ONLY THING WORSE |
| 13 | "THAN THE MINDLESS, ADOLESCENT DIRECTION |
| 14 | "IS JOSEPH TRIBBIANI'S |
| 15 | DISTURBINGLY UNSKILLED PORTRAYAL OF THE KING." |
| 16 | OKAY, LOOK, THAT IS ONE GUY'S OPINION. |
| 17 | ALL RIGHT? PHEEBS, READ YOURS. |
| 18 | "THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN THE MINDLESS, |
| 19 | ADOLESCENT DIRECTION..." |
| 20 | DOES ANYBODY HAVE ONE FROM A DIFFERENT PAPER? |
| 21 | ROSS, READ YOURS. |
| 22 | I DON'T WANT TO. |
| 23 | JOEY, HONEY, THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT. |
| 24 | MAYBE THEY DO. I'VE BEEN DOING THIS TEN YEARS |
| 25 | AND I HAVEN'T GOTTEN ANYWHERE. THERE'S GOT TO BE A REASON. |
| 26 | COME ON, MAN, YOU'RE JUST PAYING YOUR DUES. |
| 27 | NO, NO. IT'S TOO HARD. |
| 28 | IT'S NOT WORTH IT. I QUIT. |
| 29 | ( PROTESTING ) |
| 30 | WAIT, WAIT, WAIT ONE MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. |
| 31 | I BELIEVE THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND. |
| 32 | "IN A MEDIOCRE PLAY, JOSEPH TRIBBIANI |
| 33 | "WAS ABLE TO ACHIEVE BRILLIANT NEW LEVELS OF... |
| 34 | "CONTINUED ON 153. |
| 35 | ...SUCKING." |
| 36 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU ♪ |
| 37 | ♪ LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 39 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 40 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 41 | ♪ WHEN IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 42 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 43 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 44 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO POUR ♪ |
| 45 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 46 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 47 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 48 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 49 | WHEN I WAS LITTLE, I WANTED TO BE A VETERINARIAN, |
| 50 | BUT THEN I FOUND OUT YOU HAVE TO PUT |
| 51 | YOUR HANDS INTO COWS AND STUFF. |
| 52 | HI. |
| 53 | Joey: HEY. |
| 54 | Phoebe: ARE-ARE YOU OKAY? |
| 55 | YEAH, YEAH, JUST A TOUGH DAY AT WORK. |
| 56 | A STEGOSAURUS FELL OVER AND TRAPPED A KID. |
| 57 | I KNOW THIS JACKET. |
| 58 | THIS IS FUN BOBBY'S JACKET. |
| 59 | WHERE IS HE? WHAT? |
| 60 | HE'S HERE, ISN'T HE? |
| 61 | MAYBE. DON'T TOY WITH ME. |
| 62 | GELLER! FUN BOBBY! |
| 63 | HEY! WHOA, YOU BEEN WORKING OUT, HUH? |
| 64 | NOT AT ALL. |
| 65 | I LOVE THIS GUY. |
| 66 | HEY, I WAS SO PSYCHED TO HEAR YOU'RE BACK WITH MY SISTER. |
| 67 | YOU AND ME BOTH. |
| 68 | SO WHAT DID I MISS? COME ON. |
| 69 | WE WERE TRYING TO MAKE JOEY FEEL BETTER. |
| 70 | HEY, DO YOU NEED ME TO PICK YOU UP? |
| 71 | NO, I'M ALL RIGHT, MAN, REALLY. |
| 72 | NO, I'M PICKING YOU UP. |
| 73 | HEY, NO, SERIOUSLY, I DON'T NEED YOU TO... |
| 74 | ALL RIGHT! IT STILL WORKS. |
| 75 | OKAY. NOW, BEFORE I GO, DOES ANYBODY ELSE NEED TO BE PICKED UP? |
| 76 | I'M STILL GOING TO GO. |
| 77 | OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU LATER, BABE. |
| 78 | PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION COMING UP. |
| 79 | YOU CAN AVERT YOUR EYES. |
| 80 | SEE YA. Group: BYE. |
| 81 | FUN BOBBY IS SO GREAT. |
| 82 | OH, ISN'T HE? |
| 83 | I REALLY THINK THIS TIME IT MAY WORK WITH HIM. |
| 84 | HE MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD |
| 85 | AND I'VE BEEN FEELING SO LOUSY |
| 86 | THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS-- NO JOB, NO BOYFRIEND. |
| 87 | AT LEAST MY CUP IS HALF FULL. |
| 88 | HALF FULL OF LOVE. |
| 89 | AND FOR OUR TWO-WEEK ANNIVERSARY HE'S GOING TO TAKE ME |
| 90 | TO HIS COUSIN'S CABIN FOR THE WEEKEND. |
| 91 | CABIN OF LOVE. |
| 92 | WE WENT THROUGH A LOT OF WINE TONIGHT, YOU GUYS. |
| 93 | I ONLY HAD TWO GLASSES. |
| 94 | I JUST HAD A GLASS. TWO. |
| 95 | I HAD ONE GLASS. I HAD ABOUT A MUGFUL IN THIS LOVELY |
| 96 | "I GOT BONED AT THE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY" MUG. |
| 97 | OKAY, SO THAT'S... |
| 98 | THAT'S, WHAT, TWO BOTTLES |
| 99 | AND YET, SOMEHOW WE WENT THROUGH FIVE? |
| 100 | OH. OOH. |
| 101 | OH. |
| 102 | SO WHAT? SO HE DRANK A LOT TONIGHT. |
| 103 | YEAH, BUT NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, I DON'T THINK |
| 104 | I'VE EVER SEEN FUN BOBBY WITHOUT A DRINK IN HIS HAND. |
| 105 | YEAH, AND OOH, YEAH, YOU KNOW, DID YOU NOTICE HOW HE ALWAYS |
| 106 | STARTS HIS STORIES WITH, "OKAY, I WAS SO WASTED" |
| 107 | OR, "WE WERE SO BOMBED," OR, "SO I WAKE UP |
| 108 | AND I'M IN THIS DUMPSTER IN CONNECTICUT." |
| 109 | MONICA, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN WITH HIM WHEN HE WASN'T DRINKING? |
| 110 | WELL, WE JUST HAPPEN TO GO TO A LOT OF PLACES WHERE YOU MIGHT DRINK. |
| 111 | I MEAN, HOW DO YOU GO TO A WINE TASTING WITHOUT HAVING A DRINK? |
| 112 | OR TO A CLUB, OR TO THE... ZOO? |
| 113 | RACH, DOES THIS HAVE NON-FAT MILK? |
| 114 | UM... I DON'T KNOW. WHY DON'T YOU TASTE IT? |
| 115 | MMM. NO. |
| 116 | OH, WELL, TOO LATE. SORRY. YOU ALREADY HAD SOME. |
| 117 | WHAT DO YOU SAY WE MAKE THESE COFFEES IRISH? |
| 118 | ( Phoebe clearing throat ) UM... |
| 119 | CAKE! |
| 120 | YEAH, WE'RE GOING TO GET SOME CAKE. |
| 121 | YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN MAKING |
| 122 | AN AWFUL LOT OF STUFF "IRISH" LATELY. |
| 123 | WELL, I WOULD MAKE THEM BELGIAN, BUT THE WAFFLES |
| 124 | ARE HARD TO GET INTO THAT FLASK. |
| 125 | BOBBY. |
| 126 | YEAH, OKAY. |
| 127 | LOOK, MAYBE THIS IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS |
| 128 | OR MAYBE IT IS, I DON'T KNOW |
| 129 | BUT, UM, I'M KIND OF WORRIED ABOUT YOU. |
| 130 | OKAY, LOOK, THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME SOMEBODY'S |
| 131 | SAID SOMETHING TO ME ABOUT THIS |
| 132 | BUT I DON'T KNOW. I ALWAYS MADE EXCUSES ABOUT IT |
| 133 | LIKE "I'M JUST A SOCIAL DRINKER." |
| 134 | OR "HEY, COME ON, IT'S FLAG DAY." |
| 135 | SO, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING NOW? |
| 136 | I GUESS I'M SAYING I'LL TRY AND QUIT. |
| 137 | I KIND OF LIKE THAT YOU WORRY ABOUT ME. |
| 138 | SO, WHAT'S GOING ON, HUH? |
| 139 | I AM GOING TO TRY AND QUIT DRINKING. |
| 140 | OH, WHY? |
| 141 | HEY. HEY. |
| 142 | HEY. HEY. |
| 143 | GUESS WHO'S BACK IN SHOW BUSINESS? |
| 144 | OOH! OOH! LORNE GREENE? |
| 145 | NO. NO, PHEEBS. YOU KNOW WHY? 'CAUSE HE'S DEAD. |
| 146 | OH, NO. |
| 147 | OKAY, I GUESS IT'S GOING TO SEEM KIND OF BITTERSWEET NOW |
| 148 | BUT JOEY, THAT'S WHO. |
| 149 | OH! REALLY? |
| 150 | MY AGENT JUST CALLED ME WITH AN AUDITION FOR DAYS OF OUR LIVES. |
| 151 | KICK ASS! |
| 152 | WE HAVE TO CELEBRATE. YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO? |
| 153 | WE SHOULD DO LIKE A SOAP OPERA THEME. |
| 154 | HEY, YEAH. WE COULD ALL SLEEP TOGETHER, |
| 155 | AND THEN ONE OF US COULD GET AMNESIA. |
| 156 | HEY, RACH, WHAT TIME DO YOU GET OFF? |
| 157 | WE'RE ALL GOING TO DO SOMETHING TONIGHT. |
| 158 | UM, WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M ALREADY DONE |
| 159 | BUT I'VE KIND OF GOT PLANS. |
| 160 | ( gasping ) YOU HAVE OTHER FRIENDS? |
| 161 | YEAH. I, UH, I HAVE... I HAVE A DATE. |
| 162 | WHAT? WITH A MAN? |
| 163 | WHAT? WHAT IS SO STRANGE ABOUT ME HAVING A DATE? |
| 164 | WHAT ABOUT ROSS? |
| 165 | ARE YOU STILL MAD AT HIM 'CAUSE HE MADE THAT LIST ABOUT YOU? |
| 166 | NO, NO, I'M NOT MAD AT HIM. |
| 167 | I'M NOT REALLY ANYTHING AT HIM ANYMORE. |
| 168 | WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I DON'T KNOW. |
| 169 | I... WHATEVER I WAS FEELING, I'M... NOT. |
| 170 | BUT YOU GUYS CAME SO CLOSE. |
| 171 | OH, I KNOW. I'M SORRY, YOU GUYS. YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE |
| 172 | TO GET USED TO THE FACT THAT I WILL NOT BE DATING ROSS. |
| 173 | HERE HE IS. HI. |
| 174 | GUYS, THIS IS RUSS. |
| 175 | HI. |
| 176 | NO, I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE NOT TALENTED. |
| 177 | YOU'RE VERY TALENTED. |
| 178 | IT'S JUST THAT WITH THE BIRD DEAD AND ALL |
| 179 | THERE'S VERY LITTLE ACT LEFT. |
| 180 | OH, HONEY, GIVE ME A BREAK, WILL YOU-- |
| 181 | OH. I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. |
| 182 | WELL, THERE'S MY FAVORITE CLIENT. |
| 183 | SO, TELL ME, DARLING, HOW WAS THE AUDITION? |
| 184 | I THINK IT WENT PRETTY WELL. |
| 185 | I GOT A CALLBACK FOR THURSDAY. |
| 186 | JOEY, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ME ECSTATIC? |
| 187 | NO. |
| 188 | WELL, HERE IT IS. |
| 189 | OKAY. LISTEN, THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT. |
| 190 | THE NETWORK CASTING LADY... |
| 191 | OH, ISN'T LORI A DOLL? |
| 192 | YEAH YEAH, SHE'S GREAT BUT I KIND OF GOT THE FEELING |
| 193 | THAT SHE WAS SORT OF COMING ONTO ME |
| 194 | AND I DEFINITELY WOULD GET THE PART |
| 195 | IF I WOULD HAVE, YOU KNOW... |
| 196 | IF I WOULD HAVE SENT THE LITTLE GENERAL IN. |
| 197 | OH. |
| 198 | I SEE. |
| 199 | WELL, I'M JUST GOING TO PUT IN A CALL HERE |
| 200 | AND WE'LL FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON |
| 201 | AND STRAIGHTEN IT OUT. YEAH, HI. |
| 202 | LORI, PLEASE. |
| 203 | HI, DARLING. |
| 204 | SO, HOW ABOUT JOEY TRIBBIANI FOR THE PART OF THE CAB DRIVER? |
| 205 | ISN'T HE TERRIFIC? |
| 206 | UH-HUH. |
| 207 | UH-HUH. |
| 208 | OKAY, DOLL, I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. |
| 209 | YEAH, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SLEEP WITH HER. |
| 210 | WHAT'S THE MATTER? FUN BOBBY. |
| 211 | WHAT, ISN'T HE SOBER? |
| 212 | HE'S SOBER, ALL RIGHT. |
| 213 | JUST TURNS OUT THAT FUN BOBBY WAS FUN FOR A REASON. |
| 214 | OH. OKAY. |
| 215 | ALL RIGHT, HERE YOU GO, SWEETIE. |
| 216 | THANKS. |
| 217 | YOU WANT TO HEAR SOMETHING FUNNY? |
| 218 | OH, GOD, YES. |
| 219 | THERE ARE NO HARDWARE STORES OPEN PAST MIDNIGHT IN THE VILLAGE. |
| 220 | THAT IS FUNNY. |
| 221 | I NEEDED TO BUY A HAMMER THE OTHER NIGHT |
| 222 | AND I'M OUT WALKING AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD |
| 223 | BUT APPARENTLY, THERE ARE NO HARDWARE STORES |
| 224 | OPEN PAST MIDNIGHT IN THE VILLAGE. |
| 225 | SAY, HONEY, DON'T YOU HAVE TO BE AT YOUR INTERVIEW NOW? |
| 226 | OH, YEAH. |
| 227 | SEE YOU GUYS. |
| 228 | BYE... |
| 229 | RIDICULOUSLY DULL BOBBY. |
| 230 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 231 | IT'S NOT THAT BAD. |
| 232 | NOT THAT BAD? |
| 233 | DID YOU NOT HEAR THE HAMMER STORY? |
| 234 | OKAY, OKAY. DON'T GET ALL SQUINKY. |
| 235 | MAYBE IT WAS THE KIND OF STORY WHERE YOU HAD TO BE THERE. |
| 236 | BUT I'M GOING TO BE THERE, |
| 237 | FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. |
| 238 | I CAN'T BREAK UP WITH HIM. I'M THE ONE WHO MADE HIM QUIT DRINKING. |
| 239 | HE'S DULL BECAUSE OF ME. |
| 240 | DON'T SAY THAT. |
| 241 | HE'S PROBABLY ALWAYS BEEN DULL. |
| 242 | YOU JUST, YOU KNOW, SET IT FREE. |
| 243 | HI. HEY, ROSS. BAH! |
| 244 | HI, RUSS. I'VE JUST GOT TWO MORE TABLES TO CLEAN AND THEN WE'LL GO, OKAY? |
| 245 | OKAY. I'LL JUST SIT HERE |
| 246 | AND CHAT WITH YOUR, UH, |
| 247 | FRIEND TYPE PEOPLE. |
| 248 | RACHEL. YEAH. HI. |
| 249 | YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, RIGHT? WAITRESSING? |
| 250 | WELL, YEAH, BUT NO. I MEAN, UM, OKAY. |
| 251 | DOESN'T RUSS JUST REMIND YOU OF SOMEONE? |
| 252 | HUH. BOB SAGET? |
| 253 | OH, YEAH. |
| 254 | NO, NO, NO. OH, OH. |
| 255 | HI. OH, MY, OH. |
| 256 | WHAT'S WRONG? OKAY. |
| 257 | SHE'S JUST UPSET BECAUSE SHE |
| 258 | BUTTERED A SPIDER INTO HER TOAST THIS MORNING. |
| 259 | ALL RIGHT. |
| 260 | LISTEN, PHEEBS, THIS IS GOING TO BE OKAY. |
| 261 | ROSS, RUSS. RUSS, ROSS. |
| 262 | HI. HI. |
| 263 | ARE YOU A, UH, FRIEND OF RACHEL'S? |
| 264 | YES. YES, I AM. ARE YOU A, UH, A FRIEND OF RACHEL'S? |
| 265 | ACTUALLY, I'M, UH, KIND OF, UH |
| 266 | YOU KNOW, UH... |
| 267 | A DATE TYPE THING OF RACHEL'S. |
| 268 | A DATE? |
| 269 | YEAH. I'M HER DATE. |
| 270 | OH. OH, YOU'RE, UH... |
| 271 | OH, YOU'RE THE DATE? |
| 272 | THIS IS ACTUALLY GOOD |
| 273 | BECAUSE IF WE EVER LOSE ROSS, WE HAVE A SPARE. |
| 274 | OH, YOU ARE THE, UH, PALEONTOLOGIST. |
| 275 | YES. YES, I AM. |
| 276 | AND YOU ARE A... |
| 277 | PERIODONTIST. |
| 278 | SEE, THEY'RE AS DIFFERENT AS NIGHT AND... |
| 279 | LATER THAT NIGHT. |
| 280 | WELL, I AM GOING TO GET A BEVERAGE. |
| 281 | IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU. DITTO. |
| 282 | I, UH, WELL, I MET RUSS. |
| 283 | OH. |
| 284 | HEY, I DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE. |
| 285 | WELL, WE'RE NOT SEEING EACH OTHER, SO... |
| 286 | WELL, FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THERE'S A WOMAN AT THE MUSEUM |
| 287 | WHO'S CURATOR OF MOTHS AND OTHER, UH... |
| 288 | WINGED THINGS |
| 289 | WHO'S, UH... |
| 290 | LET IT BE KNOWN THAT SHE IS DRAWN TO ME |
| 291 | MUCH LIKE A... WELL, YOU KNOW. |
| 292 | WELL, SO FAR I'VE BEEN KEEPING HER AT BAY |
| 293 | BUT IF THIS IS THE DEAL, THEN... |
| 294 | WELL, YEAH, THIS IS THE DEAL. |
| 295 | OKAY, WELL, HAVE A NICE EVENING. THANK YOU. |
| 296 | RUSS, YOU READY? YEAH. |
| 297 | BYE. BYE. |
| 298 | SHE'S DATING? SHE'S DATING? |
| 299 | YES. YES, BUT DID YOU SEE WHO SHE WAS DATING? |
| 300 | WHAT DO YOU MEAN? |
| 301 | DO YOU NOT SEE IT? |
| 302 | SEE WHAT? I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE SEES IN... THAT GOOBER. |
| 303 | AND IT... AND IT TAKES HIM, WHAT? |
| 304 | LIKE, LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, UH, UH, HELLO |
| 305 | A WEEK TO GET OUT A SENTENCE? |
| 306 | YEAH, IT'S ANNOYING, ISN'T IT? |
| 307 | YEAH. |
| 308 | HEY. HEY. |
| 309 | WHOA. SO I'M GUESSING YOU DIDN'T GET THE PART. |
| 310 | OR ITALY CALLED AND SAID IT WAS HUNGRY. |
| 311 | THE PART'S MINE IF I WANT IT. OH, MY GOD! |
| 312 | YEAH, IF I'M WILLING TO SLEEP WITH THE CASTING LADY. |
| 313 | OH, MY... GOD? |
| 314 | TEN YEARS I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A BREAK LIKE THIS, CHANDLER. TEN YEARS. |
| 315 | I MEAN, DAYS OF OUR LIVES-- |
| 316 | THAT'S ACTUALLY ON TELEVISION. |
| 317 | SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? |
| 318 | I GUESS I COULD SLEEP WITH HER. |
| 319 | BUT HOW CAN I DO THAT? |
| 320 | I'VE GOT A POP-UP BOOK |
| 321 | THAT TOLD ME EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW. |
| 322 | I'VE NEVER SLEPT WITH SOMEONE FOR A PART. |
| 323 | WELL, IS SHE..? |
| 324 | SORRY. |
| 325 | IS SHE GOOD-LOOKING? |
| 326 | YEAH, SHE'S TOTALLY GOOD-LOOKING. |
| 327 | IF I MET HER IN A BAR OR SOMETHING |
| 328 | I'D BE BUYING HER BREAKFAST. |
| 329 | YOU KNOW, AFTER HAVING SLEPT WITH HER. |
| 330 | YOU KNOW, MAYBE THIS ISN'T SUCH A BIG DEAL. |
| 331 | THE WAY THAT I SEE IT IS YOU GET A GREAT JOB AND YOU GET TO HAVE SEX. |
| 332 | THROW IN A TREE AND A FAT GUY |
| 333 | AND YOU'VE GOT CHRISTMAS. |
| 334 | I JUST DON'T THINK THAT I WANT IT THAT WAY THOUGH, YOU KNOW? |
| 335 | I MEAN, LET'S SAY I DO MAKE IT. |
| 336 | I'M ALWAYS GOING TO LOOK BACK AND WONDER |
| 337 | IF IT WAS BECAUSE OF MY TALENT |
| 338 | OR BECAUSE OF, YOU KNOW... |
| 339 | THE LITTLE GENERAL. |
| 340 | DIDN'T YOU USED TO CALL IT THE "LITTLE MAJOR"? |
| 341 | YEAH, BUT AFTER DENISE DiMARCO, I HAD TO PROMOTE IT. |
| 342 | CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING FROM THE BAR? |
| 343 | YES, I WOULD LIKE SOMETHING. |
| 344 | NO. NO, THANK YOU. |
| 345 | IF YOU WANT A DRINK, IT'S OKAY WITH ME. I'VE GOT TO GET USED TO IT. |
| 346 | NO, REALLY, I WOULDN'T FEEL RIGHT ABOUT IT. |
| 347 | JUST SOME WATER. |
| 348 | SO THE LIGHT WENT OUT IN MY REFRIGERATOR-- |
| 349 | I'D LIKE A SCOTCH ON THE ROCKS WITH A TWIST. |
| 350 | HEY, WE'RE HAVING SOME FUN NOW, HUH, ROSS? |
| 351 | WANT TO DO ANOTHER ONE, HUH, RUSS? |
| 352 | OKAY, 11 LETTERS. |
| 353 | "ATOMIC ELEMENT NUMBER 101." |
| 354 | ENDS IN "IUM". |
| 355 | DYSPROSIUM? |
| 356 | DYSPROSIUM? |
| 357 | TRY MENDELEVIUM. |
| 358 | AND WEENIE NUMBER TWO HAS IT. |
| 359 | UNLESS, OF COURSE, NINE DOWN-- "KNIGHTS IN WHITE SATIN" |
| 360 | WAS SUNG BY THE DOODY BLUES. |
| 361 | YOU DON'T SEE IT? |
| 362 | YOU ACTUALLY DON'T SEE IT? |
| 363 | WHAT? |
| 364 | HONEY, YOU'RE DATING ROSS. |
| 365 | NO, PHEEBS, I'M DATING RUSS. |
| 366 | RUSS IS ROSS. RUSS, ROSS. |
| 367 | STEVE, SLEEVE. |
| 368 | OKAY, NO ONE IS NAMED SLEEVE. |
| 369 | PHOEBE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? |
| 370 | OTHER THAN THEIR NAMES BEING SIMILAR |
| 371 | I'M SORRY, I DO NOT SEE WHAT YOU'RE SEEING. |
| 372 | FOR YOUR INFORMATION |
| 373 | IT'S A CARD SHARP, NOT A CARD SHARK. |
| 374 | YOU COULD NOT BE MORE WRONG. |
| 375 | YOU COULD TRY, BUT YOU WOULD NOT BE SUCCESSFUL. |
| 376 | OKAY, I'M GOING TO GET SOME MORE COFFEE |
| 377 | BEFORE THE PINCHING AND EYE POKING BEGINS. |
| 378 | I KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS. |
| 379 | OH, YOU DO, DO YOU? |
| 380 | MM-HM. YOU'RE JEALOUS. |
| 381 | UH... OF WHAT? |
| 382 | YOU'RE JEALOUS BECAUSE I'M A REAL DOCTOR. |
| 383 | HEY, YOU'RE A DOCTOR OF GUMS. |
| 384 | THAT'S THE SMALLEST BODY PART YOU CAN MAJOR IN. |
| 385 | IT'S LIKE, DAY ONE: FLOSS. |
| 386 | DAY TWO: HERE'S YOUR DIPLOMA. |
| 387 | NOW YOU LISTEN... NO, NO, LET ME FINISH. |
| 388 | NO, LET ME FINISH. |
| 389 | NO, YOU LET ME FIN-- |
| 390 | HI. HI. |
| 391 | EW. |
| 392 | EW, EW, EW, EW, EW, EW, EW... |
| 393 | DID JOEY SAY WHAT HE WAS GOING TO DO WHEN HE LEFT? |
| 394 | NO. I DON'T EVEN THINK HE KNEW. |
| 395 | HEY, WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEBODY TO GET A GREAT JOB? |
| 396 | I DON'T KNOW. WHO WOULD I HAVE TO SLEEP WITH? |
| 397 | ME. |
| 398 | WHY WOULD I HAVE TO SLEEP WITH YOU? |
| 399 | IT'S MY GAME. YOU WANT THE JOB, OR NOT? |
| 400 | HI. HEY. |
| 401 | MORNING. |
| 402 | WHERE ARE YOU GOING? |
| 403 | BOBBY AND I ARE GOING AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND, REMEMBER? |
| 404 | WHAT'S ALL THE BOTTLES OF LIQUOR? |
| 405 | WHAT'S GOING ON? IS BOBBY DRINKING AGAIN? |
| 406 | NO, THIS IS NOT FOR HIM; THIS IS FOR ME. |
| 407 | THAT WAY HE'S STILL SOBER, BUT I FIND HIS STORIES |
| 408 | ABOUT SHOELACES MUCH MORE AMUSING. |
| 409 | ( three slow knocks ) |
| 410 | GOD, EVEN HIS KNOCK IS BORING. |
| 411 | HI. I'LL BE READY IN JUST A SECOND. |
| 412 | COULD I TALK TO YOU A MINUTE? |
| 413 | SURE. |
| 414 | THIS IS REALLY HARD FOR ME TO SAY. |
| 415 | OH, GOD! YOU FELL OFF THE WAGON. |
| 416 | NO, NO. |
| 417 | IT'S ABOUT YOU. |
| 418 | WHAT ABOUT ME? |
| 419 | I THINK YOU MAY HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM. |
| 420 | WHAT? THESE? |
| 421 | NO, THESE ARE, UM... FOR CUTS AND SCRAPES. |
| 422 | LOOK, I AM JUST NOT STRONG ENOUGH |
| 423 | TO BE IN A CO-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW, OKAY? |
| 424 | OH, SHOOT. |
| 425 | WELL, ANYWAY, I HOPE WE CAN BE FRIENDS. |
| 426 | OKAY. |
| 427 | TAKE CARE. OKAY, YOU TOO. |
| 428 | BYE. |
| 429 | WHAT HAPPENED? |
| 430 | WELL, WE KIND OF BROKE UP. |
| 431 | All: OH... |
| 432 | DOES ANYBODY WANT THESE? |
| 433 | I'LL TAKE ONE. |
| 434 | SOMETIMES I LIKE TO HOLD STUFF LIKE THIS AND PRETEND I'M A GIANT. |
| 435 | HEY. HEY. HOW'D THE CALLBACK GO? |
| 436 | IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE. I WALKED IN THERE, AND SHE WAS ALL OVER ME. |
| 437 | SO, WHAT'D YOU DO? I COULDN'T DO IT. |
| 438 | I TOLD HER I DIDN'T WANT TO GET THE PART THAT WAY. |
| 439 | GOOD FOR YOU. BUT WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. |
| 440 | BUT THEN AFTER I LEFT HER OFFICE |
| 441 | SHE CAUGHT UP WITH ME AT THE ELEVATOR |
| 442 | AND OFFERED ME AN EVEN BIGGER PART. |
| 443 | SO, AND? |
| 444 | SO, YOU ARE NOW LOOKING |
| 445 | AT DR. DRAKE RAMORAY, NEUROSURGEON |
| 446 | RECURRING IN AT LEAST FOUR EPISODES! |
| 447 | ( cheering ) |
| 448 | ALL RIGHT, I GOT TO GO SHOWER. |
| 449 | HI. |
| 450 | OH, HEY. HI. |
| 451 | I GUESS YOU GUYS HEARD RACHEL DUMPED ME. |
| 452 | YEAH, I'M SORRY, MAN. |
| 453 | ALL SHE SAID WAS I REMIND HER TOO MUCH OF SOMEBODY. |
| 454 | DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO SHE'S TALKING ABOUT? |
| 455 | UM... OH, I DO. |
| 456 | IT'S BOB SAGET. |
| 457 | SHE HATES HIM. |
| 458 | HEY. |
| 459 | HEY, JULIE. |
| 460 | HOW ARE YOU DOING? |
| 461 | I DON'T KNOW. |
| 462 | IT'S DEFINITELY WEIRD NOT BEING WITH ROSS |
| 463 | BUT I GUESS I'M DOING OKAY. |
| 464 | ACTUALLY, I'VE GOT SOME OF HIS STUFF THAT HE... |
| 465 | |
| 1 | OKAY, HERE'S HIS DIAPER BAG |
| 2 | AND HIS, UH, MR. WINKY |
| 3 | AND, UH... OH. |
| 4 | HIM. HI. |
| 5 | SO HOW DID EVERYTHING GO? |
| 6 | OH, GREAT. GREAT. |
| 7 | THERE WAS A PROJECTILE, UH, THROWING UP INCIDENT |
| 8 | BUT HE STARTED IT. |
| 9 | ( both chuckling ) |
| 10 | WELL, WE'VE GOT TO GO. |
| 11 | OKAY. |
| 12 | ( clearing throat ) |
| 13 | OH, RIGHT. |
| 14 | UM, I'VE GOT SOME NEWS. |
| 15 | IT'S ABOUT US. |
| 16 | OH, YOU AND ME? |
| 17 | UH, NO, SUSAN AND ME. |
| 18 | THE OTHER US. |
| 19 | OKAY. |
| 20 | WE'RE, UH... |
| 21 | WE'RE GETTING MARRIED. |
| 22 | AS IN "I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU WIFE AND WIFE" MARRIED? |
| 23 | ANYWAY, WE'D LIKE YOU TO COME |
| 24 | BUT WE TOTALLY UNDERSTAND IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. |
| 25 | YEAH. WELL, WHY WOULDN'T I WANT TO COME? |
| 26 | I HAD FUN AT THE FIRST WEDDING. |
| 27 | LOOK, I JUST THOUGHT... NO, NO, NO, NO. |
| 28 | I MEAN, WHY SHOULDN'T I BE HAPPY FOR YOU? |
| 29 | YOU KNOW, I MEAN, WHAT WOULD IT SAY ABOUT ME |
| 30 | IF I COULDN'T, UH, REVEL IN YOUR JOY-- |
| 31 | AND I'M REVELING, BABY, BELIEVE ME. |
| 32 | IS YOUR FINGER CAUGHT IN THAT CHAIR? |
| 33 | MM-HMM. |
| 34 | WANT US TO GO? |
| 35 | UH-HUH. |
| 36 | ♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪ |
| 37 | ♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪ |
| 38 | ♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪ |
| 39 | ♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪ |
| 40 | ♪ AND IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪ |
| 41 | ♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪ |
| 42 | ♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 43 | ♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL ♪ |
| 44 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 45 | ♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪ |
| 46 | ♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪ |
| 47 | ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO. ♪ |
| 48 | THIS IS SO COOL. |
| 49 | YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO BE ON TELEVISION. |
| 50 | I KNOW. IT REALLY HIT ME LAST NIGHT. |
| 51 | I'M GOING TO BE ON DAYS OF OUR LIVES. |
| 52 | AND THEN I STARTED THINKING ABOUT ALL OF US |
| 53 | AND HOW THESE ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES. |
| 54 | YES! |
| 55 | All: WHAT? |
| 56 | CAROL AND SUSAN'S CATERER |
| 57 | HAD A MOUNTAIN BIKE ACCIDENT THIS WEEKEND |
| 58 | AND SHE'S IN A FULL BODY CAST. |
| 59 | All: YES! |
| 60 | THEY WANT ME TO DO IT, WHICH IS COOL |
| 61 | SINCE I'VE NEVER CATERED, I NEED THE MONEY, AND... |
| 62 | THIS ISN'T A PROBLEM, IS IT? |
| 63 | WOULD IT MATTER? |
| 64 | OH, YOU ARE SO GREAT. |
| 65 | THANK YOU. |
| 66 | ARE YOU REALLY NOT GOING? |
| 67 | I'M REALLY NOT GOING. |
| 68 | I MEAN, I DON'T GET IT. |
| 69 | THEY ALREADY LIVE TOGETHER. |
| 70 | WHY DO THEY NEED TO GET MARRIED? |
| 71 | BECAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER |
| 72 | AND THEY WANT TO CELEBRATE THAT LOVE |
| 73 | WITH THE PEOPLE THAT ARE CLOSE TO THEM. |
| 74 | IF YOU WANT TO CALL THAT A REASON. |
| 75 | ♪ WHO'S THE BITTEREST MAN IN THE LIVING ROOM? ♪ |
| 76 | ♪ THE BITTEREST MAN IN THE LIVING ROOM? ♪ |
| 77 | HI, NEIGHBOR. |
| 78 | ROSS, I THOUGHT YOU WERE OVER THIS. |
| 79 | BETH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS, OKAY? |
| 80 | SHE'S MY EX-WIFE. |
| 81 | IF SHE WERE MARRYING A GUY |
| 82 | NONE OF YOU WOULD EXPECT ME TO BE THERE. |
| 83 | HEY, IF SHE WERE MARRYING A GUY |
| 84 | SHE'D BE, LIKE, THE WORST LESBIAN EVER. |
| 85 | DID I MISS IT? DID I MISS IT? |
| 86 | NO, NO, I'M ON RIGHT AFTER THIS GUY SHOOTS HIMSELF. |
| 87 | WHOA, SHE'S PRETTY. |
| 88 | YEAH. |
| 89 | OH, AND SHE'S REALLY NICE TOO. |
| 90 | SHE TAUGHT ME ALL ABOUT, YOU KNOW |
| 91 | HOW TO WORK WITH THE CAMERAS |
| 92 | AND "SMELL THE FART" ACTING. |
| 93 | HUH. |
| 94 | I'M SORRY... |
| 95 | WHAT? EXCUSE ME? WHAT? |
| 96 | IT'S LIKE, YOU GOT SO MANY LINES |
| 97 | TO LEARN SO FAST |
| 98 | THAT SOMETIMES YOU NEED A MINUTE |
| 99 | TO REMEMBER YOUR NEXT ONE |
| 100 | SO WHILE YOU'RE THINKING OF IT |
| 101 | YOU TAKE THIS BIG PAUSE, WHERE YOU LOOK ALL INTENSE |
| 102 | YOU KNOW, LIKE THIS. |
| 103 | OKAY. OHH. |
| 104 | ( gunshot on TV ) |
| 105 | OH, HERE'S MY SCENE! HERE'S MY SCENE! |
| 106 | Mrs. Wallace? Yes? |
| 107 | I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray |
| 108 | your sister's neurosurgeon. |
| 109 | Tell me, is she going to be all right? |
| 110 | I'm afraid the situation |
| 111 | is much more dire than we'd expected. |
| 112 | Your sister is suffering from a... |
| 113 | a subcranial hematoma. |
| 114 | ( exhaling ) |
| 115 | Perhaps we can discuss this further over coffee. |
| 116 | NICE! ( squealing ) |
| 117 | EXCELLENT! GREAT! |
| 118 | YOU KNOW, FOR A MINUTE THERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE |
| 119 | ACTUALLY TRYING TO SMELL SOMETHING. |
| 120 | DO IT AGAIN! ALL RIGHT. |
| 121 | "DAMN IT, BRAVERMAN, IT'S RIGHT THERE ON THE CHART." |
| 122 | ( all cheering ) |
| 123 | THAT'S GREAT. ALL RIGHT, I GOT TO GET TO WORK. |
| 124 | I GOT A BIG DINOSAUR BONE TO INSPECT. |
| 125 | NO, NO. NO, THAT'S ME. |
| 126 | OH, RIGHT. |
| 127 | OH. |
| 128 | HELLO. OH. THANKS. |
| 129 | I COULDN'T, UH... |
| 130 | IS EVERYTHING OKAY? |
| 131 | UM, NO. |
| 132 | HUH-UH. UM... |
| 133 | ONE OF MY CLIENTS DIED |
| 134 | ON THE MASSAGE TABLE TODAY. |
| 135 | OH! OH, MY GOD. |
| 136 | THAT'S A LITTLE MORE RELAXED THAN YOU WANT THEM TO GET. |
| 137 | YEAH, UH-HUH. |
| 138 | UM, SHE WAS, YOU KNOW, 82 YEARS OLD |
| 139 | AND, UM, HER NAME WAS, UM, MRS. ADELMAN. |
| 140 | OH, HONEY. |
| 141 | YEAH, IT'S JUST SO STRANGE, I MEAN... |
| 142 | SHE PROBABLY WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND THOUGHT |
| 143 | "ALL RIGHT, SO I'LL HAVE SOME BREAKFAST |
| 144 | "AND I'LL TAKE A LITTLE WALK |
| 145 | AND THEN I'LL HAVE MY MASSAGE." |
| 146 | LITTLE DID SHE KNOW |
| 147 | GOD WAS THINKING, "OKAY, BUT THAT'S IT." |
| 148 | OHH! OH, BUT THE WEIRDEST THING WAS, OKAY... |
| 149 | I WAS CLEANSING HER AURA WHEN IT HAPPENED? |
| 150 | AND WHEN-WHEN HER SPIRIT LEFT HER BODY |
| 151 | I DON'T THINK IT WENT VERY FAR. |
| 152 | WHAT DO YOU MEAN? |
| 153 | I-I-I THINK IT WENT INTO ME. |
| 154 | GOD, THIS IS SO HARD. |
| 155 | I CAN'T DECIDE BETWEEN LAMB OR DUCK. |
| 156 | WELL, OF COURSE, LAMBS ARE SCARIER. |
| 157 | OTHERWISE, THE MOVIE WOULD HAVE BEEN CALLED |
| 158 | SILENCE OF THE DUCKS. |
| 159 | OKAY, WHO ORDERED WHAT? |
| 160 | OH, I BELIEVE I HAD THE HALF-DRUNK CAPPUCCINO |
| 161 | WITH THE LIPSTICK ON THE RIM. |
| 162 | YES, AND THIS WITH THE CIGARETTE BUTT IN IT-- |
| 163 | IS THAT DECAF? |
| 164 | OH, GOD. |
| 165 | YOU'RE SO UPTIGHT ABOUT YOUR MOM COMING. |
| 166 | I KNOW, BUT IT'S THE FIRST TIME |
| 167 | AND I DON'T WANT HER TO THINK |
| 168 | THAT BECAUSE I DIDN'T MARRY BARRY |
| 169 | MY LIFE IS CRAP, YOU KNOW? |
| 170 | ( as Mrs. Adelman ): TALK ABOUT CRAP... |
| 171 | TRY STELLA NEIDMAN TELLING THE STORY |
| 172 | OF HER AND ROD STEIGER FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME. |
| 173 | UH, PHEEBS, HOW LONG DO YOU THINK |
| 174 | THIS LADY WILL BE WITH US? |
| 175 | ( speaking normally ): I DON'T KNOW. |
| 176 | SHE OBVIOUSLY HAS SOME KIND OF UNFINISHED BUSINESS. |
| 177 | SIT UP! |
| 178 | THERE SHE IS! |
| 179 | MOM! |
| 180 | HI, SWEETIE! |
| 181 | ( both cooing ) |
| 182 | OH... |
| 183 | SO THIS IS WHERE YOU WORK. |
| 184 | OH, IT'S WONDERFUL. |
| 185 | IS IT A LIVING ROOM? |
| 186 | IS IT A RESTAURANT? |
| 187 | WHO CAN TELL? |
| 188 | WELL, I GUESS THAT'S THE FUN. |
| 189 | PRETTY MUCH. |
| 190 | HERE, MEET MY FRIENDS. |
| 191 | MONICA! YOU LOOK GORGEOUS! |
| 192 | OH, MY, THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU |
| 193 | IT WAS EAT OR BE EATEN. |
| 194 | UH, THIS IS JOEY. HI. |
| 195 | THIS IS PHOEBE. HELLO. |
| 196 | AND THIS IS CHANDLER |
| 197 | AND YOU REMEMBER ROSS. HI. |
| 198 | OH, HELLO, ROSS. |
| 199 | HI, MRS. GREEN. |
| 200 | SO... |
| 201 | WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY DAUGHTER IN THE APRON |
| 202 | WITH THE BIG JOB? |
| 203 | OH, MOM. |
| 204 | OH, HEY. |
| 205 | IF YOU DIDN'T POUR THE COFFEE |
| 206 | NO ONE WOULD HAVE ANYTHING TO DRINK. |
| 207 | BELIEVE ME. SOMETIMES THAT HAPPENS. |
| 208 | THIS IS JUST SO EXCITING. |
| 209 | YOU KNOW, I NEVER WORKED. |
| 210 | I WENT STRAIGHT FROM MY FATHER'S HOUSE |
| 211 | TO THE SORORITY HOUSE TO MY HUSBAND'S HOUSE. |
| 212 | I AM JUST SO PROUD OF YOU. |
| 213 | OH, REALLY? YES. |
| 214 | ( as Mrs. Adelman ): I KNOW WHO IT IS YOU REMIND ME OF-- |
| 215 | EVELYN DERMER. |
| 216 | COURSE, THAT'S BEFORE SHE GOT THE LOUSY FACELIFT. |
| 217 | NOW SHE LOOKS LIKE SOUPY SALES. |
| 218 | PHEEBS, WHO'S EVELYN DERMER? |
| 219 | I DON'T KNOW. WHO'S SOUPY SALES? |
| 220 | Sandra: OH, MY GOD! |
| 221 | THERE'S AN UNATTRACTIVE NUDE MAN |
| 222 | PLAYING THE CELLO. |
| 223 | YEAH, WELL, JUST BE GLAD |
| 224 | HE'S NOT PLAYING A SMALLER INSTRUMENT. |
| 225 | ( laughing ) |
| 226 | YOU HAVE SOME LIFE HERE, SWEETIE. |
| 227 | I KNOW, AND MOM I REALIZE YOU AND DADDY WERE UPSET |
| 228 | WHEN I DIDN'T MARRY BARRY AND GET THE BIG HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS |
| 229 | WITH ALL THE SECURITY AND EVERYTHING |
| 230 | BUT, GOD, THIS IS JUST SO MUCH BETTER FOR ME, YOU KNOW? |
| 231 | I DO KNOW. |
| 232 | YOU DIDN'T LOVE BARRY, HONEY |
| 233 | AND I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU THIS HAPPY. |
| 234 | I LOOK AT YOU AND I THINK |
| 235 | "OH, THIS IS WHAT I WANT." |
| 236 | FOR... ME. |
| 237 | WELL, NOT JUST FOR YOU. |
| 238 | WELL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? |
| 239 | I'M, UH... |
| 240 | CONSIDERING LEAVING YOUR FATHER. |
| 241 | ALL RIGHT, TELL ME IF THIS IS TOO CUTE... |
| 242 | LESBIAN WEDDING... |
| 243 | CHICKEN BREASTS. |
| 244 | OH, GOD. |
| 245 | I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK. |
| 246 | WHAT? IT'S NOT LIKE I'M PUTTING |
| 247 | LITTLE NIPPLES ON THEM. |
| 248 | YOU HAD NO IDEA THEY WEREN'T GETTING ALONG? NONE. |
| 249 | THEY DIDN'T FIGHT A LOT? |
| 250 | NO. THEY DIDN'T EVEN TALK TO EACH OTHER. |
| 251 | MY GOD, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW |
| 252 | THEY WERE HAVING PROBLEMS? |
| 253 | YOU KNOW, IN MY DAY, DIVORCE WAS NOT AN OPTION. |
| 254 | HEY, LOOK WHO'S UP. |
| 255 | OH, I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING. |
| 256 | WHEN I WAS LITTLE EVERYBODY'S PARENTS WERE GETTING DIVORCED. |
| 257 | I JUST FIGURED AS A GROWN-UP |
| 258 | I WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS. |
| 259 | IS THERE ANY CHANCE YOU CAN LOOK AT THIS AS FLATTERING? |
| 260 | SHE'S DOING IT BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE MORE LIKE YOU. |
| 261 | WELL, THEN, YOU KNOW COULDN'T SHE HAVE |
| 262 | JUST COPIED MY HAIRCUT? |
| 263 | WHEN MY PARENTS GOT DIVORCED, THEY SENT ME TO THIS SHRINK |
| 264 | AND SHE TOLD ME ALL KIDS HAVE A TENDENCY TO BLAME THEMSELVES |
| 265 | BUT IN YOUR CASE, IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF TRUE. |
| 266 | OOH, THAT'S HIM. |
| 267 | DAMN. |
| 268 | MY MAIL-ORDER GRANDFATHER HASN'T COME YET. |
| 269 | PHOEBE? YES. |
| 270 | HI, MR. ADELMAN. NICE TO SEE YOU. |
| 271 | THANKS FOR MEETING ME. |
| 272 | THAT'S ALL RIGHT ALTHOUGH YOU DID CUT |
| 273 | INTO MY VERY BUSY DAY OF SITTING. |
| 274 | OH. |
| 275 | OH, DO YOU WANT TO SIT? |
| 276 | OH, NO, NO. PLEASE. I SPENT MOST OF MID-MORNING |
| 277 | TRYING TO STAND UP. |
| 278 | NOW, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, MY DEAR? |
| 279 | OKAY, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS, BUT, UM... |
| 280 | I THINK WHEN YOUR WIFE'S SPIRIT LEFT HER BODY |
| 281 | IT KIND OF STUCK AROUND... IN ME. |
| 282 | YOU'RE SAYING MY WIFE IS IN YOU? |
| 283 | YEAH. |
| 284 | OKAY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BELIEVE ME |
| 285 | BUT CAN YOU THINK |
| 286 | OF ANY UNFINISHED BUSINESS SHE MIGHT HAVE HAD? |
| 287 | LIKE, ANY REASON SHE'D BE HANGING AROUND? |
| 288 | WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU, DEAR. |
| 289 | THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF IS THAT SHE ALWAYS USED TO SAY |
| 290 | THAT BEFORE SHE DIED, SHE WANTED TO SEE EVERYTHING. |
| 291 | EVERYTHING? |
| 292 | EVERYTHING. |
| 293 | WHOA! THAT'S A LOT OF STUFF. |
| 294 | OH, WAIT! I REMEMBER. |
| 295 | SHE ALSO SAID SHE WANTED TO SLEEP WITH ME |
| 296 | ONE LAST TIME. |
| 297 | UH, I'M SORRY. |
| 298 | THERE'S LAUGHING IN MY HEAD. |
| 299 | WORTH A SHOT, HUH? |
| 300 | Sandra: OH, LOOK AT THIS! |
| 301 | OH, THESE ARE ALL HALLOWEEN |
| 302 | THREE YEARS AGO. |
| 303 | OH, AND LOOK, HERE'S BARRY. |
| 304 | OH, DID HE HAVE TO COME STRAIGHT FROM THE OFFICE? |
| 305 | OH, NO. THAT WAS HIS COSTUME. |
| 306 | SEE, HE'S ACTUALLY AN ORTHODONTIST |
| 307 | BUT HE CAME AS A REGULAR DENTIST. |
| 308 | YOU GUYS, REMEMBER WHEN I SAID BEFORE |
| 309 | "THANK YOU, BUT I DON'T REALLY NEED YOUR HELP"? |
| 310 | ACTUALLY, WHAT I THINK YOU SAID WAS |
| 311 | "DON'T TOUCH THAT AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY KITCHEN." |
| 312 | REALLY? WEIRD. |
| 313 | ANYWAY, SEE, I PLANNED EVERYTHING REALLY WELL. |
| 314 | I PLANNED AND I PLANNED AND I PLANNED |
| 315 | BUT I DON'T THINK I PLANNED ENOUGH TIME TO ACTUALLY DO IT. |
| 316 | MON, YOU WANT SOME HELP? |
| 317 | IF YOU WANT. |
| 318 | HEY. |
| 319 | Both: HEY. |
| 320 | WHAT A DAY. |
| 321 | OH, I TOOK HER EVERYWHERE. |
| 322 | THE MUSEUM OF MODERN ART, ROCKEFELLER CENTER, |
| 323 | THE STATUE OF LIBERTY. |
| 324 | SHE'S STILL WITH YOU. YEAH. |
| 325 | I GUESS SHE HASN'T SEEN EVERYTHING YET. |
| 326 | OH, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. |
| 327 | SHE HAS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AGAIN. |
| 328 | ( as Mrs. Adelman ): OH, SUCH A PRETTY FACE. |
| 329 | ( giggles ) |
| 330 | OH, THIS IS SO MUCH FUN. |
| 331 | JUST THE GIRLS. |
| 332 | DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO? |
| 333 | DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANY MARIJUANA? |
| 334 | GOD! |
| 335 | ALL RIGHT, LOOK. |
| 336 | NO ONE'S SMOKING POT AROUND ALL THIS FOOD. |
| 337 | WELL, THAT'S FINE. |
| 338 | I NEVER DID IT. |
| 339 | I JUST THOUGHT I MIGHT. |
| 340 | SO... WHAT'S NEW IN SEX? |
| 341 | ( groans ) |
| 342 | "WHAT'S NEW IN SEX"? |
| 343 | THE ONLY MAN I'VE EVER BEEN WITH IS YOUR FATHER. |
| 344 | I'M DICING. I'M DICING. I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING. |
| 345 | I MEAN THIS AS NO OFFENSE TO YOUR DAD, SWEETIE |
| 346 | BUT I WAS THINKING THERE MIGHT BE MORE. |
| 347 | OH, I'M SORRY. YOU KNOW WHAT? |
| 348 | I CANNOT HAVE THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU. |
| 349 | ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. |
| 350 | GOD, YOU DROP THIS BOMB ON ME |
| 351 | BEFORE YOU EVEN TELL DADDY. |
| 352 | WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT? DO YOU WANT MY BLESSING? |
| 353 | YOU WANT ME TO TALK YOU OUT OF IT? NO. |
| 354 | THEN WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT? |
| 355 | I FIGURED OF ALL PEOPLE, YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND. |
| 356 | WHY ON EARTH WOULD I UNDERSTAND THIS? |
| 357 | YOU DIDN'T MARRY YOUR BARRY, HONEY |
| 358 | BUT I MARRIED MINE. |
| 359 | OH. |
| 360 | ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE, WE'RE IN TROUBLE HERE. |
| 361 | WE'VE GOT 12 HOURS AND 36 MINUTES LEFT. |
| 362 | MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! |
| 363 | MONICA, I FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD HAVE GERMAN SUBTITLES. |
| 364 | JOEY, SPEED IT UP! |
| 365 | I'M SORRY. IT'S THE PIGS! |
| 366 | THEY'RE RELUCTANT TO GET IN THE BLANKETS. |
| 367 | MONICA, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? |
| 368 | I THOUGHT YOU HAD THIS ALL PLANNED OUT. |
| 369 | DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY? |
| 370 | IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? |
| 371 | DO YOU WANT TO SEE ME CRY? |
| 372 | SIR, NO, SIR! |
| 373 | ALL RIGHT, YOU. |
| 374 | WHAT? NO. |
| 375 | LOOK, I TOLD YOU. |
| 376 | I AM NOT A PART OF THIS THING. |
| 377 | ALL RIGHT, LOOK, ROSS. |
| 378 | I REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH CAROL AND SUSAN |
| 379 | AND I FEEL FOR YOU, BUT IF YOU DON'T HELP ME COOK |
| 380 | I'M GOING TO TAKE A BUNCH OF THOSE LITTLE HOT DOGS |
| 381 | AND CREATE A NEW APPETIZER CALLED "PIGS-IN-ROSS." |
| 382 | ALL RIGHT, BALL A MELON! |
| 383 | HEY, HOW COME I'M STUCK DICING |
| 384 | WHEN HE GETS TO BALL A MELON? |
| 385 | ( knocking at door ) |
| 386 | HI. HI. HOW'S IT GOING? |
| 387 | OH, IT'S GOING GREAT, RIGHT ON SCHEDULE. |
| 388 | GOT MY LITTLE HAPPY HELPERS. |
| 389 | ( all groan ) |
| 390 | WELL, THAT'S FINE. WHATEVER. |
| 391 | WHAT'S THE MATTER? |
| 392 | NOTHING. |
| 393 | OKAY, EVERYTHING. |
| 394 | I THINK WE'RE CALLING OFF THE WEDDING. |
| 395 | WHAT? |
| 396 | YOU'RE STILL GOING TO PAY ME, RIGHT? |
| 397 | OR SOMETHING A LITTLE LESS SELFISH. |
| 398 | WHAT'S THE MATTER? WHAT HAPPENED? |
| 399 | MY PARENTS CALLED THIS AFTERNOON |
| 400 | TO SAY THEY WEREN'T COMING. |
| 401 | OH, MY GOD. |
| 402 | I KNEW THEY WERE HAVING TROUBLE |
| 403 | WITH THIS WHOLE THING BUT... BUT THEY'RE MY PARENTS. |
| 404 | THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME AWAY AND EVERYTHING. |
| 405 | OKAY. I'M SORRY. |
| 406 | THEN SUSAN AND I GOT IN THIS BIG FIGHT |
| 407 | 'CAUSE I SAID MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL OFF THE WEDDING |
| 408 | AND THEN SHE SAID, "WE'RE NOT DOING THIS FOR THEM. |
| 409 | WE'RE DOING IT FOR US," AND IF I COULDN'T SEE THAT |
| 410 | THEN MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL OFF THE WEDDING |
| 411 | AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. |
| 412 | I, UH, CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GOING TO SAY THIS |
| 413 | BUT I THINK SUSAN'S RIGHT. |
| 414 | YOU DO? |
| 415 | LOOK, DO YOU LOVE HER? |
| 416 | AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE TOO EMPHATIC ABOUT THIS. |
| 417 | OF COURSE, I DO. |
| 418 | WELL, THEN, THAT'S IT |
| 419 | AND IF GEORGE AND ADELAIDE CAN'T ACCEPT THAT |
| 420 | THEN THE HELL WITH THEM. |
| 421 | LOOK. I MEAN... |
| 422 | IF MY PARENTS DIDN'T WANT ME TO MARRY YOU |
| 423 | NO WAY THAT WOULD HAVE STOPPED ME. |
| 424 | LOOK, THIS IS YOUR WEDDING. |
| 425 | DO IT. |
| 426 | YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 427 | OF COURSE, YOU'RE RIGHT. |
| 428 | SO WE'RE BACK ON? |
| 429 | WE'RE BACK ON. |
| 430 | YOU HEARD HER! PEEL! CHOP! DEVIL! |
| 431 | I CAN'T BELIEVE I LOST TWO MINUTES. |
| 432 | IT JUST SEEMS SO FUTILE, YOU KNOW? |
| 433 | ALL THESE WOMEN AND... |
| 434 | NOTHING. |
| 435 | I FEEL LIKE SUPERMAN WITHOUT MY POWERS, YOU KNOW? |
| 436 | I HAVE THE CAPE AND YET I CANNOT FLY. |
| 437 | WELL, NOW YOU UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL EVERY SINGLE DAY. |
| 438 | OKAY? THE WORLD IS MY LESBIAN WEDDING. |
| 439 | ( playing classical music ) |
| 440 | ( crackling ) |
| 441 | ( as Mrs. Adelman ): BUTTERSCOTCH? |
| 442 | NO ONE? |
| 443 | ALL RIGHT, YOU'LL BE SORRY LATER. |
| 444 | THANK YOU. |
| 445 | ANYTIME. |
| 446 | ROSS. |
| 447 | YOU KNOW, NOTHING MAKES |
| 448 | GOD HAPPIER THAN WHEN TWO PEOPLE-- |
| 449 | ANY TWO PEOPLE-- COME TOGETHER IN LOVE. |
| 450 | FRIENDS, FAMILY, WE'RE GATHERED HERE TODAY |
| 451 | TO JOIN CAROL AND SUSAN IN HOLY MATRIMONY. |
| 452 | OH, MY GOD! |
| 453 | NOW, I'VE SEEN EVERYTHING. |
| 454 | WHOA! SHE'S GONE. |
| 455 | SHE'S GONE. |
| 456 | SHE'S GONE. |
| 457 | GO AHEAD. GET MARRIED. GO. GO. |
| 458 | Monica: WOULD YOU LOOK AT THEM? |
| 459 | YEAH. CAN'T HELP BUT. |
| 460 | HOW'S THAT PIG-IN-THE-BLANKET |
| 461 | WORKING OUT FOR YOU? |
| 462 | I WRAPPED THOSE BAD BOYS. |
| 463 | I MISS ROSE. |
| 464 | OH, YEAH? |
| 465 | I KNOW IT'S WEIRD |
| 466 | BUT SHE WAS A BIG PART |
| 467 | OF MY LIFE THERE |
| 468 | AND, YOU KNOW, I JUST FEEL KIND OF ALONE. |
| 469 | YOU KNOW, I, UH... |
| 470 | COULDN'T HELP OVERHEARING WHAT YOU JUST SAID AND, UH... |
| 471 | I THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO FORGET ABOUT ROSE |
| 472 | MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. |
| 473 | HOW ABOUT WE GO GET YOU A DRINK? |
| 474 | OKAY. THAT'S SO NICE. |
| 475 | I SHOULDN'T EVEN BOTHER |
| 476 | COMING UP WITH A LINE, RIGHT? |
| 477 | HEY, MOM, YOU HAVING FUN? |
| 478 | OH, AM I. |
| 479 | I JUST DANCED WITH A WONDERFULLY-LARGE WOMAN |
| 480 | AND THREE OTHER GIRLS MADE EYES AT ME |
| 481 | OVER AT THE BUFFET. |
| 482 | OH, I'M NOT SAYING IT'S SOMETHING I WANT TO PURSUE |
| 483 | BUT IT'S NICE TO KNOW I HAVE OPTIONS. |
| 484 | UH-HUH. THAT'S GOOD. |
| 485 | ( clears throat ) |
| 486 | THERE'S MORE ALCOHOL, RIGHT? |
| 487 | HOW YOU DOING? |
| 488 | OKAY. |
| 489 | YOU DID A GOOD THING TODAY. |
| 490 | YEAH.... |
| 491 | YOU WANT TO DANCE? |
| 492 | NO. THAT'S FINE. |
| 493 | COME ON. |
| 494 | I'LL LET YOU LEAD. |
| 495 | OKAY. |
| 496 | ALL RIGHT, LOOK. |
| 497 | PENIS, SCHMEENIS, OKAY? |
| 498 | WE'RE ALL PEOPLE. |
| 499 | WHICH ONE OF US DO YOU THINK |
| 500 | IS GOING TO BE THE FIRST ONE TO GET MARRIED? |
| 501 | UH, MON, I WAS MARRIED. |
| 502 | YEAH, ME, TOO, TECHNICALLY. |
| 503 | I HAD A WEDDING. |
| 504 | JUST TRYING TO START AN INTERESTING DISCUSSION. |
| 505 | Joey: I GOT ONE. |
| 506 | WHICH ONE OF US WILL BE THE LAST TO GET MARRIED? |
| 507 | WHA..? ISN'T BEN IN THIS? |
| 508 | ( all agreeing ) |
| 509 | OH, OH... |
| 510 | |